Professionally, things are actually going pretty well.
At the Schmoozy Breakfast I attended a couple of weeks ago I made what looks to be a solid business contact. She is with an organization kind of like the SBA, but it targets minority-owned business that generate at least $1M/year. Most of her clients are involved in the industry that is my primary practice area. And she needs an attorney to refer clients to. Woot! I had a meeting with her and she said I was the trifecta--a woman, a minority, and the right kind of lawyer. (Although I did have to correct her on one point because I'm only hispanic by marriage. But that didn't seem to bother her.)
She wants me to be part of a panel of speakers at an upcoming event, and I will have other opportunities to give presentations to her clients. She also introduced me to the director of a related organization who would also love to have me come speak to her clients!
This is great news. My firm already has 3 canned presentations that we give regularly, and they have been encouraging me to start giving these. It's also the perfect time to give a legislative update because several laws just went into effect that my firm helped draft that pertain directly to my industry.
And in semi-related news, the director of a brand new whistleblower program for a government agency has called me twice urging my client to apply for an award under the new program. The client is an old friend who I represented pro bono after she was subpoenaed to testify for the government after she gave them a tip that brought down a ponzi scheme. (Yes this is the case where I had a smackdown with unethical defense counsel and where I got my first "no comment" in the press.)
I am stunned that the director of this program called me (twice!) and I think my client may be the very first person to receive an award under this new program!
Finally, I am helping my firm start an industry-related blog. It will be a lot of work (and I promise I will do a far better job editing my posts than I do here), but it will be one more way to get me name out there!
2/23/12
Updates and Answers on My Two Jerry Springer Posts
The Sister:
I still haven't contacted her or responded to her friend request. I just have to deal with my mother first and I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
AAL is correct that my dad would be her presumptive father unless there is a paternity test or her mother signs an affidavit. I don't see how it really matters, anyway. The only way I can see that being an issue is if my father died intestate, and I can't see my brother or me contesting paternity to deny her an inheritance given the hand that she has been dealt.
But that did get me thinking that maybe her mom did sign the affidavit when they were getting divorced. I don't know the state of the law 20 years ago, but now chances are slim you could get a divorce without a support order.
And for the record, I do not support my father's actions. Biodad or not, he essentially adopted her and then just gave up on her her when she was 5. Maybe he thought that if he tried to get custod, her parentage would come out and he didn't want to fight that battle. But I can't imagine parenting a child for 5 years and then just letting that child go.
The Mother:
I pretty much ignored her yesterday because I knew if I talked to her I would say what I think and what I think right now isn't very nice. I finally called her back this morning, and she demanded, "Have you booked my flight yet? I need to know when I'm leaving." I told her that I didn't know it was my responsibility to book her flight. She has a computer and a lot more time than I do. She said, "well, I don't have my credit card number anymore." Whatever. It took me about 2 minutes to book her damn flight. At least that means she is going home on Friday. (Hopefully, I won't count on it until the plane is in the air.)
I did not go into details about her psychological state with the psychiatrist, because I just wanted her to understand the situation and I did not want her trying to diagnose me. I agree that it was grossly unprofessional to call me, and I wasn't overly friendly with her. I don't think it dawned on her until our conversation that my mother was more than the pitiful creature she presents herself as.
I pretty much just want to hide under the covers until my problems go away. But of course, life doesn't work like that. I had sick kids yesterday, and I feel like crap today. I don't know if I'm really sick or if its just stress-induced. I'm spending a couple of hours at home this morning, hoping the Tylenol will kick in. Also waiting to take PS to school. She still doesn't feel great and is supposed to run the mile in her 2nd period PE class today. I know she isn't up to running, so I'll just take her in after PE so she'll be there for the important classes.
I still haven't contacted her or responded to her friend request. I just have to deal with my mother first and I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
AAL is correct that my dad would be her presumptive father unless there is a paternity test or her mother signs an affidavit. I don't see how it really matters, anyway. The only way I can see that being an issue is if my father died intestate, and I can't see my brother or me contesting paternity to deny her an inheritance given the hand that she has been dealt.
But that did get me thinking that maybe her mom did sign the affidavit when they were getting divorced. I don't know the state of the law 20 years ago, but now chances are slim you could get a divorce without a support order.
And for the record, I do not support my father's actions. Biodad or not, he essentially adopted her and then just gave up on her her when she was 5. Maybe he thought that if he tried to get custod, her parentage would come out and he didn't want to fight that battle. But I can't imagine parenting a child for 5 years and then just letting that child go.
The Mother:
I pretty much ignored her yesterday because I knew if I talked to her I would say what I think and what I think right now isn't very nice. I finally called her back this morning, and she demanded, "Have you booked my flight yet? I need to know when I'm leaving." I told her that I didn't know it was my responsibility to book her flight. She has a computer and a lot more time than I do. She said, "well, I don't have my credit card number anymore." Whatever. It took me about 2 minutes to book her damn flight. At least that means she is going home on Friday. (Hopefully, I won't count on it until the plane is in the air.)
I did not go into details about her psychological state with the psychiatrist, because I just wanted her to understand the situation and I did not want her trying to diagnose me. I agree that it was grossly unprofessional to call me, and I wasn't overly friendly with her. I don't think it dawned on her until our conversation that my mother was more than the pitiful creature she presents herself as.
I pretty much just want to hide under the covers until my problems go away. But of course, life doesn't work like that. I had sick kids yesterday, and I feel like crap today. I don't know if I'm really sick or if its just stress-induced. I'm spending a couple of hours at home this morning, hoping the Tylenol will kick in. Also waiting to take PS to school. She still doesn't feel great and is supposed to run the mile in her 2nd period PE class today. I know she isn't up to running, so I'll just take her in after PE so she'll be there for the important classes.
2/21/12
As if there is not enough drama in my life...
I thought I posted about this history once before, but I can't find the old post so maybe I deleted it.
I am one of two children from my parents who divorced when I was 9 and my brother was 6. Both parents are now on spouse number 3 who were both acquired after I graduated from high school so they were never really "parents," but just my parents' spouses.
And then there were spouses number 2. Both parents remarried within a couple of years after the divorce, and both did a terrible job picking new spouses. My mother married a construction-worker wife-beater who didn't work more often than he did. He spent most of his time and money building toy trains in the garage. My brother and I had to run to the neighbors and call the cops multiple times because he was beating the crap out of her and threatening to kill her.
He hit me once, and I moved in with my dad. I told my mother it was him or me and she chose him.
My dad married the woman that he was cheating on my mother with before their divorce. She was nice enough, except for the fact that she was a functioning alcoholic and she was partly the cause of my parents divorce. But compared to my mom's husband, she was a peach.
After a few years, my dad and wife 2 announced that they were having a baby. I was 14 and finally getting a sister! But then my mother told us that kid was not our sister because my dad had a vasectomy right after my brother was born.
My dad never said a word and raised the child as his. Until Wife 2 ran left him. For a little while he had visitation with her. And then I went off to college. When I returned the visitations had ended and I never saw my faux- sister again. The last time I saw her was in 1993 at her 5th birthday party.
But this week I got a Facebook friend request from her. Whoa.
I have considered contacting her before, but she was young and I didn't know what her mother had told her. And I didn't want to add drama to her life. I regret losing touch with her, and my only excuse is that I was young, involved with my own changing life, and not sure how to maintain a relationship with her without hurting my dad.
My brother told me a few months ago that she had contacted him through FB. They had been chatting, but weren't "friends". Her mother told her that our dad is her dad and that he walked out on her. She thinks that my brother and I are her siblings. My dad confirmed to my brother that we are not. My brother has not shared this information with her.
I haven't accepted her friend request. I'm just not sure FB is the proper forum for us to reunite. I firmly believe that she should know the truth, and I can't believe that her mother never came clean (if for no other reason than to provide her with a medical history). This kid has never, ever done anything wrong, and I'm sure she's wondering why she was abandoned by her dad and siblings.
She's 23 now. Has kids of her own. I need to talk to her. I think she may have done worse in the parent lottery than I did. I'm just not sure I can deal with this and my mother at the same time.
I am one of two children from my parents who divorced when I was 9 and my brother was 6. Both parents are now on spouse number 3 who were both acquired after I graduated from high school so they were never really "parents," but just my parents' spouses.
And then there were spouses number 2. Both parents remarried within a couple of years after the divorce, and both did a terrible job picking new spouses. My mother married a construction-worker wife-beater who didn't work more often than he did. He spent most of his time and money building toy trains in the garage. My brother and I had to run to the neighbors and call the cops multiple times because he was beating the crap out of her and threatening to kill her.
He hit me once, and I moved in with my dad. I told my mother it was him or me and she chose him.
My dad married the woman that he was cheating on my mother with before their divorce. She was nice enough, except for the fact that she was a functioning alcoholic and she was partly the cause of my parents divorce. But compared to my mom's husband, she was a peach.
After a few years, my dad and wife 2 announced that they were having a baby. I was 14 and finally getting a sister! But then my mother told us that kid was not our sister because my dad had a vasectomy right after my brother was born.
My dad never said a word and raised the child as his. Until Wife 2 ran left him. For a little while he had visitation with her. And then I went off to college. When I returned the visitations had ended and I never saw my faux- sister again. The last time I saw her was in 1993 at her 5th birthday party.
But this week I got a Facebook friend request from her. Whoa.
I have considered contacting her before, but she was young and I didn't know what her mother had told her. And I didn't want to add drama to her life. I regret losing touch with her, and my only excuse is that I was young, involved with my own changing life, and not sure how to maintain a relationship with her without hurting my dad.
My brother told me a few months ago that she had contacted him through FB. They had been chatting, but weren't "friends". Her mother told her that our dad is her dad and that he walked out on her. She thinks that my brother and I are her siblings. My dad confirmed to my brother that we are not. My brother has not shared this information with her.
I haven't accepted her friend request. I'm just not sure FB is the proper forum for us to reunite. I firmly believe that she should know the truth, and I can't believe that her mother never came clean (if for no other reason than to provide her with a medical history). This kid has never, ever done anything wrong, and I'm sure she's wondering why she was abandoned by her dad and siblings.
She's 23 now. Has kids of her own. I need to talk to her. I think she may have done worse in the parent lottery than I did. I'm just not sure I can deal with this and my mother at the same time.
OMG, Really???
So I got a call from my mother's psychiatrist. My mother asked her to call me "because she just gets so distraught whenever she talks to you because you keep telling her that her husband can't take care of her and she needs to move into an assisted living center."
Um, yeah, I do. Because it's true. And I told the psych this. And I told her that the rest of the family is in agreement with me. But I'm the one who gets to be the bad guy and have these conversations.
And so she vents to the shrink about how heartless I am. Yes, because I live in reality. And because I ask the questions like "how are you going to get home from the airport?" and "how are you going to get back and forth to rehab" and "who is going to take care of you when your husband is in the hospital?"
Yeah, I'm the bad guy.
I am so fucking pissed off right now. She fucking tattled to her shrink? She plays the "woe is me" card with everybody--and anybody who doesn't know her well buys it because her situation is so awful. Yes, she has a chronic illness, and yes that has made her life hard. But it doesn't make her a good person. And it doesn't change the fact that long before she had a chronic illness she was a classic narcissist--her illness just gave her an excuse for it. It doesn't change the fact that she doesn't give a crap about anybody in this world except herself.
I guess the good news is that by the time I explained the real situation to the psychiatrist (with lots of "oh, she didn't tell me that"s thrown in), the psychiatrist agreed that I was right and she will try to talk to my mother about the reality of her situation.
There is a reason that I cut her out of my life before, and her stress-inducing toxicity is just about to push me over the edge. Of course she hasn't shown any degree of appreciation for all of the time I have spent at the hospital and rehab, going to her appointments, researching facilities and bringing her every damn thing she ever asked for. At Christmas she went on and on about how she wasn't doing anything for anybody because of her situation, which was fine. But then she got online and ordered my brother. I truly don't care about gifts and I don't need "stuff", but it was a smack in the face.
Um, yeah, I do. Because it's true. And I told the psych this. And I told her that the rest of the family is in agreement with me. But I'm the one who gets to be the bad guy and have these conversations.
And so she vents to the shrink about how heartless I am. Yes, because I live in reality. And because I ask the questions like "how are you going to get home from the airport?" and "how are you going to get back and forth to rehab" and "who is going to take care of you when your husband is in the hospital?"
Yeah, I'm the bad guy.
I am so fucking pissed off right now. She fucking tattled to her shrink? She plays the "woe is me" card with everybody--and anybody who doesn't know her well buys it because her situation is so awful. Yes, she has a chronic illness, and yes that has made her life hard. But it doesn't make her a good person. And it doesn't change the fact that long before she had a chronic illness she was a classic narcissist--her illness just gave her an excuse for it. It doesn't change the fact that she doesn't give a crap about anybody in this world except herself.
I guess the good news is that by the time I explained the real situation to the psychiatrist (with lots of "oh, she didn't tell me that"s thrown in), the psychiatrist agreed that I was right and she will try to talk to my mother about the reality of her situation.
There is a reason that I cut her out of my life before, and her stress-inducing toxicity is just about to push me over the edge. Of course she hasn't shown any degree of appreciation for all of the time I have spent at the hospital and rehab, going to her appointments, researching facilities and bringing her every damn thing she ever asked for. At Christmas she went on and on about how she wasn't doing anything for anybody because of her situation, which was fine. But then she got online and ordered my brother. I truly don't care about gifts and I don't need "stuff", but it was a smack in the face.
2/16/12
Arrgggghhhhh!
Yes, that is me screaming. Yes, it is because of my mother.
She is supposed to be discharged sometime next week and can finally go home. Home, home. Hometown home. (But I'm not counting on my freedom until it happens.)
She is still completely wheelchair bound. She cannot stand and pivot to transfer from the wheelchair to a car or chair. The only way she can get in and out of the wheelchair is by using a sliding board. It is exactly what it sounds like--a narrow board a couple of feet long that spreads from the wheelchair to a bed or another chair that she scoots on. One of the problems with this method is that it will only work if she is transferring to another seat that is very close in height to her wheelchair.
Both of my cars are way to high to use the sliding board.She wants me to rent a car and drive her home--which would cost twice as much and require me to lose a weekend. I said, "we're going to look into flying." Of course, she had a million excuses why flying wouldn't work because she is in a wheelchair.
But guess what? Right on the airline's website are its provisions for disabled passengers. Guess what? The airline has its own sliding boards and the flight attendants are trained to use them (I am not). They also have a tiny wheelchair that will fit down the aisle.
And so she is flying.
But yesterday she said I needed to go buy a sliding board so that I can drive her to the airport and get her in and out of the car. Ummm, no. I am not moving her in and out of the car by myself. She incurs enough injuries when medical professionals try to move her. And besides, my car is still too tall for her board. I told her that she would have to hire a transport company to take her to the airport.
She was not happy. She said "those places cost $40 per trip!" I said, "that sounds very reasonable. That's about what I had to pay for my last cab ride from the airport." She's still pissed. Because it's way more convenient for me to spend $50 renting a car just to risk dropping her than for her to pony up $40 and ensure her own safety.
And then I asked her what her plan was for getting home from the airport. She said, well, I guess I can get my friend Suzy to help Husband.
Yeah, Husband who is in the hospital right now receiving chemotherapy in anticipation of a bone marrow transplant. The Husband who before this last blast of chemo reportedly didn't have the strength of a child.
I have been banging my head against a wall trying to explain to her for the last several weeks that she needs to move into senior apartments where there is staff on site to assist her. She will not do it. She thinks that she is going to go home and her Husband is going to take care of her and their life is going back to normal. It is not. She will kill him. Literally. There is no way in hell that with his cancer and the treatments he is enduring that he can take care of her. He can't even take care of himself. But in typical narcissistic fashion, she can only think about herself. They have the means to move somewhere where people can take care of them, but they just won't do it.
I hope that once she gets there and sees him she comes to her senses. I have no way to force her to act reasonably. But I am truly worried about how her husband is going to fare. She seriously makes me want to scream.
She is supposed to be discharged sometime next week and can finally go home. Home, home. Hometown home. (But I'm not counting on my freedom until it happens.)
She is still completely wheelchair bound. She cannot stand and pivot to transfer from the wheelchair to a car or chair. The only way she can get in and out of the wheelchair is by using a sliding board. It is exactly what it sounds like--a narrow board a couple of feet long that spreads from the wheelchair to a bed or another chair that she scoots on. One of the problems with this method is that it will only work if she is transferring to another seat that is very close in height to her wheelchair.
Both of my cars are way to high to use the sliding board.She wants me to rent a car and drive her home--which would cost twice as much and require me to lose a weekend. I said, "we're going to look into flying." Of course, she had a million excuses why flying wouldn't work because she is in a wheelchair.
But guess what? Right on the airline's website are its provisions for disabled passengers. Guess what? The airline has its own sliding boards and the flight attendants are trained to use them (I am not). They also have a tiny wheelchair that will fit down the aisle.
And so she is flying.
But yesterday she said I needed to go buy a sliding board so that I can drive her to the airport and get her in and out of the car. Ummm, no. I am not moving her in and out of the car by myself. She incurs enough injuries when medical professionals try to move her. And besides, my car is still too tall for her board. I told her that she would have to hire a transport company to take her to the airport.
She was not happy. She said "those places cost $40 per trip!" I said, "that sounds very reasonable. That's about what I had to pay for my last cab ride from the airport." She's still pissed. Because it's way more convenient for me to spend $50 renting a car just to risk dropping her than for her to pony up $40 and ensure her own safety.
And then I asked her what her plan was for getting home from the airport. She said, well, I guess I can get my friend Suzy to help Husband.
Yeah, Husband who is in the hospital right now receiving chemotherapy in anticipation of a bone marrow transplant. The Husband who before this last blast of chemo reportedly didn't have the strength of a child.
I have been banging my head against a wall trying to explain to her for the last several weeks that she needs to move into senior apartments where there is staff on site to assist her. She will not do it. She thinks that she is going to go home and her Husband is going to take care of her and their life is going back to normal. It is not. She will kill him. Literally. There is no way in hell that with his cancer and the treatments he is enduring that he can take care of her. He can't even take care of himself. But in typical narcissistic fashion, she can only think about herself. They have the means to move somewhere where people can take care of them, but they just won't do it.
I hope that once she gets there and sees him she comes to her senses. I have no way to force her to act reasonably. But I am truly worried about how her husband is going to fare. She seriously makes me want to scream.
2/11/12
Another Week Goes By
So, last week was crazy. I picked up two new cases, both with limitations running early next week. That kept me busy.
My mother was moved from the hospital into rehab on Wednesday, no surgery needed. Of course, she has returned to her typical demanding self. At 7:00 on Tuesday night she called and informed me that she would need regular clothes and that I had to do her laundry for her. Apparently the rehab place that she was in before (that was supposed to be doing her laundry) packed up all of her clothes dirty!
I was working late, but TT took care of it (DH wasn't about to touch his MIL's undies). I dropped off her stuff on Wednesday, and then on Thursday she called my on my way home from work at 7:00 and informed me that it was the wrong stuff, that she needed her winter clothes and there was more to bring back. I told her that I was not going home and doing her laundry. I had a nanny interview that night and I still had work to finish up because I had to rush home for the interview (that I nearly forgot about). She whined. Oh well. I know that she had two pairs of sweat pants and two sweaters in addition to t-shirts and lighter weight clothes in the jam-packed suitcase that I had already taken her.
Meanwhile, I hired a nanny! Yay! Yes, it is the model. Fingers-crossed this all works out, because the girls really need someone who can transport them in the afternoon.
Today, PS applied to be a volunteer page at the library. (She has to perform a certain number of volunteer hours for NJHS.) She was so cute filling out the application, just like a real job! And then she had to do an interview and take an alphabetization test. Of course, she got the (volunteer) job. It certainly didn't hurt that her elementary school librarian was also working in the library that day and gave raving reviews to the volunteer coordinator.
Overall, today was a quiet and relaxing end to a crazy week. Tomorrow will be busier--Girl Scout cookies are in!
My mother was moved from the hospital into rehab on Wednesday, no surgery needed. Of course, she has returned to her typical demanding self. At 7:00 on Tuesday night she called and informed me that she would need regular clothes and that I had to do her laundry for her. Apparently the rehab place that she was in before (that was supposed to be doing her laundry) packed up all of her clothes dirty!
I was working late, but TT took care of it (DH wasn't about to touch his MIL's undies). I dropped off her stuff on Wednesday, and then on Thursday she called my on my way home from work at 7:00 and informed me that it was the wrong stuff, that she needed her winter clothes and there was more to bring back. I told her that I was not going home and doing her laundry. I had a nanny interview that night and I still had work to finish up because I had to rush home for the interview (that I nearly forgot about). She whined. Oh well. I know that she had two pairs of sweat pants and two sweaters in addition to t-shirts and lighter weight clothes in the jam-packed suitcase that I had already taken her.
Meanwhile, I hired a nanny! Yay! Yes, it is the model. Fingers-crossed this all works out, because the girls really need someone who can transport them in the afternoon.
Today, PS applied to be a volunteer page at the library. (She has to perform a certain number of volunteer hours for NJHS.) She was so cute filling out the application, just like a real job! And then she had to do an interview and take an alphabetization test. Of course, she got the (volunteer) job. It certainly didn't hurt that her elementary school librarian was also working in the library that day and gave raving reviews to the volunteer coordinator.
Overall, today was a quiet and relaxing end to a crazy week. Tomorrow will be busier--Girl Scout cookies are in!
2/5/12
Random Rambling Updates
So, my niece did great with her appendectomy and went home from the hospital the very next day. Yay!
My mother was finally moved from ICU to a regular room late Friday night. At this point we don't know what's happening next. Surgery may be off the table. The surgeon did an aspiration of her leg and the fluid didn't look infected, but we are waiting for the results of the cultures to come back. Nevertheless, she is looking at a few weeks of IV antibiotics.
This week was hectic, but fortunately work was not too bad since we settled 3 big cases last week. I billed an abysmally low number of hours because I just couldn't focus and I was taking advantage of the peace and quiet of my office to take care of personal issues. I had to attend a big schmoozefest Thursday morning, where I was seated between a state legislator and the former mayor of Big City. I really liked the legislator, not so much the former mayor. And on Friday I got a work-related call from a government bigwig that left me shocked (in a good way).
I was in bed by 9:30 both Thursday and Friday nights, but I think I have finally caught up on sleep.
The twins left for a GS camp out on Friday afternoon. We went to dinner with PS, who enjoys getting to be the only child for the weekend. We had hoped to take her to a local theater that performs melodramas where you get to cheer the hero and throw popcorn at the villain, but sadly it was sold out both Friday and Saturday nights. So last night we let her invite a friend over while DH and I went to see The Artist. I really wasn't particularly interested in seeing this movie and honestly thought it looked boring. But I loved it! It was really cute and one of the best movies I've seen in a while.
Today I might go into the office for a couple of hours to make up for my slacking earlier in the week, but not much else on the agenda.
So yay for a relaxing weekend!
My mother was finally moved from ICU to a regular room late Friday night. At this point we don't know what's happening next. Surgery may be off the table. The surgeon did an aspiration of her leg and the fluid didn't look infected, but we are waiting for the results of the cultures to come back. Nevertheless, she is looking at a few weeks of IV antibiotics.
This week was hectic, but fortunately work was not too bad since we settled 3 big cases last week. I billed an abysmally low number of hours because I just couldn't focus and I was taking advantage of the peace and quiet of my office to take care of personal issues. I had to attend a big schmoozefest Thursday morning, where I was seated between a state legislator and the former mayor of Big City. I really liked the legislator, not so much the former mayor. And on Friday I got a work-related call from a government bigwig that left me shocked (in a good way).
I was in bed by 9:30 both Thursday and Friday nights, but I think I have finally caught up on sleep.
The twins left for a GS camp out on Friday afternoon. We went to dinner with PS, who enjoys getting to be the only child for the weekend. We had hoped to take her to a local theater that performs melodramas where you get to cheer the hero and throw popcorn at the villain, but sadly it was sold out both Friday and Saturday nights. So last night we let her invite a friend over while DH and I went to see The Artist. I really wasn't particularly interested in seeing this movie and honestly thought it looked boring. But I loved it! It was really cute and one of the best movies I've seen in a while.
Today I might go into the office for a couple of hours to make up for my slacking earlier in the week, but not much else on the agenda.
So yay for a relaxing weekend!
2/4/12
The Mommy Diaries
I am having a heck of a time finding a nanny/chaos control agent this time around and I need to fill this position ASAP. I've put up an ad on my regular nanny-finder website, but I haven't had a lot of interest. This week I contacted the counselors at the two local high schools to see if they have a job board for seniors, and I've had a couple of calls but nothing looks promising.
These are the results of the interviews I have conducted so far:
Candidate 1: High school senior. She seemed very mature and responsible and was my top choice. But her mom had concerns about the liability she would assume by driving the kids around, and so she ultimately pulled out. It was probably a good thing, because I got the impression that she was trying to talk her mom into something her mom was clearly not comfortable with--which makes her seem less mature than I thought.
Candidate 2: First year college student. Zero personality. And when I asked why she wanted the job, she replied, "Because I need the money."
Candidate 3: Mom, about my age. A little rough around the edges, but she interviewed well and moved to the top of the list. Unfortunately, her background check revealed information that automatically disqualified her.
Candidate 4: High school senior. A little over-confident. When I asked about her driving record she flippantly replied, "Only one accident, a few speeding tickets, but no drinking and driving or anything."
Candidate 5: Twenty-something. No recent job history, not in school. Big gaping hole in her past. Could not "read" her (I am usually very good at reading people). Something was just off. She was obviously giving me the answers she thought I wanted to hear instead of giving me real answers.
Candidate 6: Twenty-something college student. I like her a lot. She has a minor disability that adds to her appeal. It shows that she has had to overcome adversity. And then I turned to Google for a background check. And the first thing I find is a picture of her in her underwear. It is obviously from a professional modeling shoot. And to be more specific, she is in boy shorts and a tank top. And there is another one in a sports bra and yoga pants. I actually find several modeling photos of her. She is stunning. Some of the pictures are mildly suggestive, but nothing that is actually revealing. I don't find anything concerning about her in my Google search. Her FB page is unlocked, but everything is pretty innocuous and its obvious that she dotes on her little brother. I still like her a lot, and she is now at the top of my list. But am I nuts to hire someone who I've seen modeling in her underwear? It is a bit awkward, and I'll admit that I definitely do not want DH to see these pics. But she is now at the top of the list.
I have one more interview scheduled with a high school student. But just based on our phone conversation, I think I will prefer candidate 6.
I also had one guy apply through the nanny-finder. Um, no. I don't care if it's sexism, there is no way in Hades that I'm hiring a guy.
These are the results of the interviews I have conducted so far:
Candidate 6: Twenty-something college student. I like her a lot. She has a minor disability that adds to her appeal. It shows that she has had to overcome adversity. And then I turned to Google for a background check. And the first thing I find is a picture of her in her underwear. It is obviously from a professional modeling shoot. And to be more specific, she is in boy shorts and a tank top. And there is another one in a sports bra and yoga pants. I actually find several modeling photos of her. She is stunning. Some of the pictures are mildly suggestive, but nothing that is actually revealing. I don't find anything concerning about her in my Google search. Her FB page is unlocked, but everything is pretty innocuous and its obvious that she dotes on her little brother. I still like her a lot, and she is now at the top of my list. But am I nuts to hire someone who I've seen modeling in her underwear? It is a bit awkward, and I'll admit that I definitely do not want DH to see these pics. But she is now at the top of the list.
I have one more interview scheduled with a high school student. But just based on our phone conversation, I think I will prefer candidate 6.
I also had one guy apply through the nanny-finder. Um, no. I don't care if it's sexism, there is no way in Hades that I'm hiring a guy.
2/1/12
Seriously, God?
My brother is at the hospital with my 8 year old niece who has appendicitis and is being taken to surgery. Are you freaking kidding me?
1/31/12
Another day, another ... heck, I don't know!
So my mother is stable and she looks a whole lot better. But she will be having surgery. Again. I spoke with the infectious disease doc yesterday morning who said that the infection likely stemmed from her bones or one of her prostheses. He said that surgery was a reasonable possibility, but it would be the surgeon's call, and that they could just do a debridement, or possibly have to remove the newly installed parts.
The surgeon told her that he is just doing the debridement, but I wonder if he just didn't mention that removing the new parts is a possibility. Reading between the lines, I'm concerned that amputation is a possibility, but I'm not mentioning that to her.
And the infectious disease doc said that at a minimum she is looking at several more weeks on IV antibiotics.
So we've essentially rebooted and this story is never going to end.
I had to go to the library after the hospital, and once I sat down in the quiet peace of the law library and processed all of this, it was all I could do to hold back tears. (Can you imagine some crazed lawyer lady crying in the middle of a law school library?) This is going to go on for months. Last month there was a light at the end of the tunnel and now there is not.
I'm spread as thin as I can go. I really don't know what to change to do differently to lighten the load. I have new housekeepers starting today for weekly cleanings and I am scrambling to hire a new nanny, because those are about the only things I can do to relieve some of my stress. (The nanny is not so much a babysitter as a chaos control agent--making sure the girls are doing homework and transporting them to activities and making sure my house isn't a disaster when I come home in the evenings.)
On the bright side, we are in the middle of settling three big cases at work. It is certainly good timing for me, as it will lighten the load at work a bit. But I'm also meeting with a new client this morning, so who knows what that will bring.
The surgeon told her that he is just doing the debridement, but I wonder if he just didn't mention that removing the new parts is a possibility. Reading between the lines, I'm concerned that amputation is a possibility, but I'm not mentioning that to her.
And the infectious disease doc said that at a minimum she is looking at several more weeks on IV antibiotics.
So we've essentially rebooted and this story is never going to end.
I had to go to the library after the hospital, and once I sat down in the quiet peace of the law library and processed all of this, it was all I could do to hold back tears. (Can you imagine some crazed lawyer lady crying in the middle of a law school library?) This is going to go on for months. Last month there was a light at the end of the tunnel and now there is not.
I'm spread as thin as I can go. I really don't know what to change to do differently to lighten the load. I have new housekeepers starting today for weekly cleanings and I am scrambling to hire a new nanny, because those are about the only things I can do to relieve some of my stress. (The nanny is not so much a babysitter as a chaos control agent--making sure the girls are doing homework and transporting them to activities and making sure my house isn't a disaster when I come home in the evenings.)
On the bright side, we are in the middle of settling three big cases at work. It is certainly good timing for me, as it will lighten the load at work a bit. But I'm also meeting with a new client this morning, so who knows what that will bring.
1/29/12
LC on WebMD
So, in a move all doctors hate, I was googling my mother's condition this morning. I was trying to figure out if sepsis could really have had such sudden onset that the doc who examined her the same morning didn't pick up on it. Apparently it is possible for sepsis to develop over a matter of hours.
But in researching that issue, I learned that the mortality rate for people with her risk factors (poor health, auto-immune disorder, long time on antibiotics) who develop sepsis is very high. It seems I underestimated the seriousness of her condition. I guess I'm just so used to her having to go to the hospital all the freaking time that I'm sort of desensitized to it.
I talked to her internist this morning, who confirmed that her condition is very serious. And he said that we really wouldn't know how serious until 72 hours had passed. I guess they need to see how she responds to the medications that she is on.
They also found a blood clot today and installed a stint. My super awesome husband went up to the hospital during that procedure because I had just returned from visiting her when she called and was supposed to meet with the nanny candidates that I had cancelled on yesterday.
And so, I guess we sit and wait.
But in researching that issue, I learned that the mortality rate for people with her risk factors (poor health, auto-immune disorder, long time on antibiotics) who develop sepsis is very high. It seems I underestimated the seriousness of her condition. I guess I'm just so used to her having to go to the hospital all the freaking time that I'm sort of desensitized to it.
I talked to her internist this morning, who confirmed that her condition is very serious. And he said that we really wouldn't know how serious until 72 hours had passed. I guess they need to see how she responds to the medications that she is on.
They also found a blood clot today and installed a stint. My super awesome husband went up to the hospital during that procedure because I had just returned from visiting her when she called and was supposed to meet with the nanny candidates that I had cancelled on yesterday.
And so, I guess we sit and wait.
1/28/12
Blogging ... it's cheaper than therapy
You know how my uncle was supposed to be taking my mother home today, after five whole months here? Yeah, that didn't happen.
My mother developed sepsis overnight and was taken to the ER. Apparently I never turned the volume back on my phone after my hearing yesterday, so I didn't see the 9 missed calls until 9:00 this morning.
WTF? She saw her surgeon on Friday and he said she was ok to go home. I saw her Friday night, and she was perfectly fine.
Anyway, I called the ER doc to get the scoop (he left his personal cell number!). She told him that her daughter was a lawyer and he clearly did not want to take responsibility for anything that happened to her and was peeved that he couldn't reach her surgeon. She was at a small neighborhood hospital and he wanted her transferred to the big hospital where she had her surgeries. I had no disagreement, as the big hospital is certainly a better facility that the tiny no-name hospital she was currently in.
So, I spent my Saturday at the hospital. I was supposed to interview nannies this morning, and I had to cancel the interviews at the last minute. And I almost cried when I had to tell my girls that I would not get to spend the day with them. I had had a very busy week and was definitely feeling like I was not getting enough girlie time.
I know it's irrational, but I'm angry with her. I swear I feel like she somehow psychosomatically created this so that she didn't have to go home. (She doesn't want to go home--that's another long story.) I needed her to go home. My time is full with my job and my kids and running my house. I've had hardly any downtime since she's been here--because if I have any extra time, I have to stop in and see her, or rearrange my weekend to see her. And usually there's not extra time anyway, and so it's taking away time from my kids or my job. And right this minute, I am really, really busy at work and so she's taking away time with my kids. And it just makes me angry. Because she never made time for her kids. She didn't rearrange her job or her life for us. And the thing I want the most in life is to not be like her. And yet she's making me like her because I'm not spending time with my kids. (I told you this post wasn't rational.)
So anyway, I stayed with her until they got her transferred to the big hospital. She is in ICU there, and probably won't be moved to a regular room for at least another day or two. The ICU nurse gave me a look of incredulity when I left this evening. I guess people usually camp out when a relative is in ICU, from the looks of the chaotic ICU waiting room. But I didn't see what I could do there, and my kids needed me at home.
And so I brought home pizza and we had movie night.
And tomorrow I will have to go back to the hospital, and I rescheduled the nanny interviews, and I have some work that I need to do, and I need to send out the W-whatever to our old nanny, and my house is a wreck (but new housekeepers start Tuesday!) and I need to do laundry, and we can just forget about grocery shopping, but at least I did a big shopping trip last weekend.
I feel like I have absolutely no control over my life any more.
My mother developed sepsis overnight and was taken to the ER. Apparently I never turned the volume back on my phone after my hearing yesterday, so I didn't see the 9 missed calls until 9:00 this morning.
WTF? She saw her surgeon on Friday and he said she was ok to go home. I saw her Friday night, and she was perfectly fine.
Anyway, I called the ER doc to get the scoop (he left his personal cell number!). She told him that her daughter was a lawyer and he clearly did not want to take responsibility for anything that happened to her and was peeved that he couldn't reach her surgeon. She was at a small neighborhood hospital and he wanted her transferred to the big hospital where she had her surgeries. I had no disagreement, as the big hospital is certainly a better facility that the tiny no-name hospital she was currently in.
So, I spent my Saturday at the hospital. I was supposed to interview nannies this morning, and I had to cancel the interviews at the last minute. And I almost cried when I had to tell my girls that I would not get to spend the day with them. I had had a very busy week and was definitely feeling like I was not getting enough girlie time.
I know it's irrational, but I'm angry with her. I swear I feel like she somehow psychosomatically created this so that she didn't have to go home. (She doesn't want to go home--that's another long story.) I needed her to go home. My time is full with my job and my kids and running my house. I've had hardly any downtime since she's been here--because if I have any extra time, I have to stop in and see her, or rearrange my weekend to see her. And usually there's not extra time anyway, and so it's taking away time from my kids or my job. And right this minute, I am really, really busy at work and so she's taking away time with my kids. And it just makes me angry. Because she never made time for her kids. She didn't rearrange her job or her life for us. And the thing I want the most in life is to not be like her. And yet she's making me like her because I'm not spending time with my kids. (I told you this post wasn't rational.)
So anyway, I stayed with her until they got her transferred to the big hospital. She is in ICU there, and probably won't be moved to a regular room for at least another day or two. The ICU nurse gave me a look of incredulity when I left this evening. I guess people usually camp out when a relative is in ICU, from the looks of the chaotic ICU waiting room. But I didn't see what I could do there, and my kids needed me at home.
And so I brought home pizza and we had movie night.
And tomorrow I will have to go back to the hospital, and I rescheduled the nanny interviews, and I have some work that I need to do, and I need to send out the W-whatever to our old nanny, and my house is a wreck (but new housekeepers start Tuesday!) and I need to do laundry, and we can just forget about grocery shopping, but at least I did a big shopping trip last weekend.
I feel like I have absolutely no control over my life any more.
1/26/12
Great Day Parts 2 and 3 (But it's getting better!)
Oh please let this week end soon.
Wednesday:
I settled a $10M case for 4 figures. (It's not nearly as impressive as it sounds. But it was good to get my client out of a complex, multi-party case that was going to be very expensive to defend.)
I got threatened with a $100M lawsuit. (Guess we hit a nerve with that Complaint!)
I filed a motion for sanctions against yesterday's lawyer for failing to remove his improperly noticed hearing from the Friday's docket. (I forgot about the mailbox rule in my last post, so I didn't even have to rely on the lame technical late fax argument.)
I finally got home from work at 10:00 pm.
Thursday:
Telephone hearing with arbitrator (my first arbitration!)
Worked my tail off to draft a substantive response to the bullshit, late-filed motion, but had it on file by 4:00 (yay e-filing!)
Got another late-filed bullshit motion from the same opposing counsel that completely manipulates two different statutes. Happily learn that I completely anticipated and countered opposing counsel's arguments in the response I had just filed. Feel very good about arguing against this bullshit motion because I read every single case involving one of the statutes when I did my annual survey a few weeks ago, and I fully researched the other statute for another case recently. (Unfortunately there is absolutely no case law construing both of the statutes together. This would be a great case to take up on appeal.)
Left the office at 5:15 (Woot!), terrible traffic, grabbed kids for a quick dinner, then had to go buy a gift for a baby shower at work tomorrow.
Back home by 8:00, drafted outline of arguments for hearing tomorrow. Got all my mother's crap together so that I can drop it off because my uncle is driving her home Saturday morning!!!!
Tomorrow:
Hearing, baby shower, drop off mother's crap.
Wednesday:
I settled a $10M case for 4 figures. (It's not nearly as impressive as it sounds. But it was good to get my client out of a complex, multi-party case that was going to be very expensive to defend.)
I got threatened with a $100M lawsuit. (Guess we hit a nerve with that Complaint!)
I filed a motion for sanctions against yesterday's lawyer for failing to remove his improperly noticed hearing from the Friday's docket. (I forgot about the mailbox rule in my last post, so I didn't even have to rely on the lame technical late fax argument.)
I finally got home from work at 10:00 pm.
Thursday:
Telephone hearing with arbitrator (my first arbitration!)
Worked my tail off to draft a substantive response to the bullshit, late-filed motion, but had it on file by 4:00 (yay e-filing!)
Got another late-filed bullshit motion from the same opposing counsel that completely manipulates two different statutes. Happily learn that I completely anticipated and countered opposing counsel's arguments in the response I had just filed. Feel very good about arguing against this bullshit motion because I read every single case involving one of the statutes when I did my annual survey a few weeks ago, and I fully researched the other statute for another case recently. (Unfortunately there is absolutely no case law construing both of the statutes together. This would be a great case to take up on appeal.)
Left the office at 5:15 (Woot!), terrible traffic, grabbed kids for a quick dinner, then had to go buy a gift for a baby shower at work tomorrow.
Back home by 8:00, drafted outline of arguments for hearing tomorrow. Got all my mother's crap together so that I can drop it off because my uncle is driving her home Saturday morning!!!!
Tomorrow:
Hearing, baby shower, drop off mother's crap.
1/24/12
Great Day (please note sarcasm)
I was busy at work--but that's ok. I'd rather be busy than not. But I had to leave at 5:00 because PS had her freshman information fair tonight starting at 6:30. On an average day it's an hour commute home, and today it was raining so I really didn't have a second to spare.
As I was leaving the office at 5:00, I stopped by the printer and noticed a fax coming in for me. I could tell it was a motion and I wasn't going to be happy about it, but it was still printing and I didn't have time to wait, so I just asked an assistant to scan it to me as soon as it came through.
Rushed home, picked up PS, and headed over to the high school (which is so much farther from our house than her other schools and about 3 times as far away as the closest high school). Opened up the motion to find that I am indeed not happy about it. The motion is set for hearing this Friday (because we already have two other motions set at the same time). So I am essentially given three day's notice of a hearing on a motion that is the equivalent of a MSJ. That is just sleazy lawyering. I don't dispute your right to zealously defend your client, but to set an evidentiary motion for hearing with three days' notice is just slimy.You couldn't have even got the court to set a hearing that fast if we weren't already on the docket.
Actually, he didn't technically give me three days' notice. Our rules state that service by fax has to be received by 5:00 or it will be effective the next day. His motion is stamped 5:01. Not a point that I would normally argue, but in this case I think it is justified.
I am booked the next two days, so it is going to mean late nights to prepare any kind of proper response to this ridiculous motion. And I had an email from a co-defendant asking what my plan was because he is in depositions the next two days. So that was happy news.
And, OMG, the freshman fair had a parent meeting that lasted almost 2 hours. Kill me now. (But it did make me happy to see PS and her girlfriends sitting together and whispering and giggling because she is not normally a giggling, whispering kind of girl).
Stopped on the way home to pick up take out for dinner, and finally set down to eat at 9:15.
Whew! And did I mention it was my birthday? Oh yeah.
At least PS baked a cake for me, so my house smells like cakey goodness and I have some chocolate frosting to drown my troubles in.
As I was leaving the office at 5:00, I stopped by the printer and noticed a fax coming in for me. I could tell it was a motion and I wasn't going to be happy about it, but it was still printing and I didn't have time to wait, so I just asked an assistant to scan it to me as soon as it came through.
Rushed home, picked up PS, and headed over to the high school (which is so much farther from our house than her other schools and about 3 times as far away as the closest high school). Opened up the motion to find that I am indeed not happy about it. The motion is set for hearing this Friday (because we already have two other motions set at the same time). So I am essentially given three day's notice of a hearing on a motion that is the equivalent of a MSJ. That is just sleazy lawyering. I don't dispute your right to zealously defend your client, but to set an evidentiary motion for hearing with three days' notice is just slimy.You couldn't have even got the court to set a hearing that fast if we weren't already on the docket.
Actually, he didn't technically give me three days' notice. Our rules state that service by fax has to be received by 5:00 or it will be effective the next day. His motion is stamped 5:01. Not a point that I would normally argue, but in this case I think it is justified.
I am booked the next two days, so it is going to mean late nights to prepare any kind of proper response to this ridiculous motion. And I had an email from a co-defendant asking what my plan was because he is in depositions the next two days. So that was happy news.
And, OMG, the freshman fair had a parent meeting that lasted almost 2 hours. Kill me now. (But it did make me happy to see PS and her girlfriends sitting together and whispering and giggling because she is not normally a giggling, whispering kind of girl).
Stopped on the way home to pick up take out for dinner, and finally set down to eat at 9:15.
Whew! And did I mention it was my birthday? Oh yeah.
At least PS baked a cake for me, so my house smells like cakey goodness and I have some chocolate frosting to drown my troubles in.
1/21/12
How Not to Behave in a Deposition
I find myself frequently lamenting the decline of civility and good manners. There are some temp workers in my office building who have yet to figure out that letting passengers off of the elevator before you pile in is not only polite, but common sense. When we went to see the Nutcracker people were coming in a full 15 minutes after the performance began, never mind that floor seats started at $50. And at the twins' orchestra concert I received an unbelievably rude response from an grandfatherly type when I politely asked him to quit talking during the performances.
So I don't have great expectations from the general public. But I do expect better from attorneys in a deposition. I guess those expectations are misplaced, too.
I spent three days last week in depositions in a big multi-party case. The room was packed with lawyers. On the second day, one older lawyer asked another attorney if he could borrow her laptop to check on something during a break. She generously agreed, and he proceeded to dominate her laptop during the rest of the deposition. The third day he again commandeered her laptop. And then he started talking. Through the entire deposition, while the poor court reporter was trying to focus and take down the testimony of the deponent. At one point he took a phone call right in the middle of the deposition--without bothering to get up and leave! All the while typing as loudly as humanly possible on the laptop that wasn't his.
He was oblivious to the shaking heads and pointed looks directed at him, and I was surprised nobody said anything. (I was close to it, but I didn't want to further disturb the questioning.)
At the end of the day he thanked the lawyer from whom he had borrowed the laptop for allowing him to ensure he got his desired tee time! She asked if he was going to bring his own laptop to the next round of depos, but he said it was too much trouble. Of course it's much easier to just take over someone else's stuff.
Honestly, my children behave better than this "professional" who was obsessing over his golf game on his client's dime.
So I don't have great expectations from the general public. But I do expect better from attorneys in a deposition. I guess those expectations are misplaced, too.
I spent three days last week in depositions in a big multi-party case. The room was packed with lawyers. On the second day, one older lawyer asked another attorney if he could borrow her laptop to check on something during a break. She generously agreed, and he proceeded to dominate her laptop during the rest of the deposition. The third day he again commandeered her laptop. And then he started talking. Through the entire deposition, while the poor court reporter was trying to focus and take down the testimony of the deponent. At one point he took a phone call right in the middle of the deposition--without bothering to get up and leave! All the while typing as loudly as humanly possible on the laptop that wasn't his.
He was oblivious to the shaking heads and pointed looks directed at him, and I was surprised nobody said anything. (I was close to it, but I didn't want to further disturb the questioning.)
At the end of the day he thanked the lawyer from whom he had borrowed the laptop for allowing him to ensure he got his desired tee time! She asked if he was going to bring his own laptop to the next round of depos, but he said it was too much trouble. Of course it's much easier to just take over someone else's stuff.
Honestly, my children behave better than this "professional" who was obsessing over his golf game on his client's dime.
1/15/12
Out of Control
Feeling a bit out of control. I just don't seem to have enough time lately to get everything done. It's always been a delicate balance between work and family, but I've always managed to pull it off. But lately, more things seem to be falling between the cracks.
For instance, a couple of months ago I ordered some things online. I was in search of a mustard-yellow sweater, but the one that arrived was baby-diarrhea yellow. There was also a belt that I loved but it was too big. It was about $60 worth of merchandise that I needed to return, but I kept putting it off. Shortly before Christmas I looked at the receipt to check my deadline for the return and determined it was in mid-January. So last week I dug it out of my closet to finally return it--and when I checked the receipt again the deadline was in December (apparently I couldn't do simple math back in December.) So now I'm one of those people who donates things to Goodwill with the tags still on, because I couldn't get my shit together.
And then, right before Christmas I got a parking ticket while in court for a hearing. I parked directly next to the meter and loaded it up with every cent I could dig out of every nook and cranny in my car. So when I came out and say the ticket flapping on my windshield, I knew it was unjustified. Indeed, there were still 52 minutes on my meter. I really wanted to fight that ticket--but it was only $35 and wasn't sure it was worth my time. I fumed about it for a couple of days. And then I completely forgot about it and my hearing date passed and my $35 ticket suddenly jumped to $65 and my opportunity to fight it disappeared. (In my defense there was only 2 weeks to deal with the ticket from the day it was written, and because of the holidays, only about 5 working days. But still...) Once again I need to get my shit together.
At least it is only these minor things that I'm failing at. My job and the kids are still ok. But it still leaves me feeling out of sorts.
I think the problem is a combination of losing our beloved nanny in the fall and having to deal with my mother. We tried replacing the nanny with a housekeeper, but she just didn't work out. And I think am going to have to go back to a nanny. And then there's my mother. I keep having to take time off for her surgeries and doctor's appointments. She calls and demands things. Her caseworkers and doctors call me. She keeps getting moved from one facility to another (because medicare will only pay for each type of facility for a certain number of days). And the last facility was a minimum 45 minute drive from my house (the others I could make part of my commute to or from work). I feel like she is sucking every free moment I have and many of my not-free moments. And I will admit that I am resentful. Because I feel like I was forced into this position. And I know that she would not do the same for me--nor would she have done it for her own parents. She keeps hinting about coming to stay with me, but I have unequivocally told her no.
For instance, a couple of months ago I ordered some things online. I was in search of a mustard-yellow sweater, but the one that arrived was baby-diarrhea yellow. There was also a belt that I loved but it was too big. It was about $60 worth of merchandise that I needed to return, but I kept putting it off. Shortly before Christmas I looked at the receipt to check my deadline for the return and determined it was in mid-January. So last week I dug it out of my closet to finally return it--and when I checked the receipt again the deadline was in December (apparently I couldn't do simple math back in December.) So now I'm one of those people who donates things to Goodwill with the tags still on, because I couldn't get my shit together.
And then, right before Christmas I got a parking ticket while in court for a hearing. I parked directly next to the meter and loaded it up with every cent I could dig out of every nook and cranny in my car. So when I came out and say the ticket flapping on my windshield, I knew it was unjustified. Indeed, there were still 52 minutes on my meter. I really wanted to fight that ticket--but it was only $35 and wasn't sure it was worth my time. I fumed about it for a couple of days. And then I completely forgot about it and my hearing date passed and my $35 ticket suddenly jumped to $65 and my opportunity to fight it disappeared. (In my defense there was only 2 weeks to deal with the ticket from the day it was written, and because of the holidays, only about 5 working days. But still...) Once again I need to get my shit together.
At least it is only these minor things that I'm failing at. My job and the kids are still ok. But it still leaves me feeling out of sorts.
I think the problem is a combination of losing our beloved nanny in the fall and having to deal with my mother. We tried replacing the nanny with a housekeeper, but she just didn't work out. And I think am going to have to go back to a nanny. And then there's my mother. I keep having to take time off for her surgeries and doctor's appointments. She calls and demands things. Her caseworkers and doctors call me. She keeps getting moved from one facility to another (because medicare will only pay for each type of facility for a certain number of days). And the last facility was a minimum 45 minute drive from my house (the others I could make part of my commute to or from work). I feel like she is sucking every free moment I have and many of my not-free moments. And I will admit that I am resentful. Because I feel like I was forced into this position. And I know that she would not do the same for me--nor would she have done it for her own parents. She keeps hinting about coming to stay with me, but I have unequivocally told her no.
1/11/12
Shit My Mom Says
Today I had to attend a doctor's appointment with my mother and at the end we had to visit with the surgery coordinator because the doc scheduled a day surgery to clean out her incision that's not healing well. I had to deal with the surgery coordinator a lot when her custom hip implant was so delayed, and the surgery coordinator was really an advocate for her.
So anyway, the surgery coordinator has a picture of her beautiful infant twins sitting on her desk. And my mother decides to pop up and ask, "Is one of your twins black?"
The poor surgery coordinator looked shocked.
And I said, "you cannot ask questions like that."
And the sweet surgery coordinator said, "no, she just has a darker skin tone."
And she said, "do they have the same father?"
And the surgery coordinator just stared and said, "yes."
And so my mother says, "is your husband hispanic?"
And the surgery coordinator said, "no."
And so my mother says, "so is the mailman?"
And I said sharply, "Mother, you are not old enough or senile enough to be asking such offensive questions."
I guess I managed to shame her, because she apologized to the poor girl, who was very nice about it all, but I can't imagine what she was thinking.
Seriously, WTF is wrong with her? She's not senile, she's not on any drugs that seem to otherwise impair her judgment, she's only 61--so she grew up in the 60's and should be fully aware that interrogating anybody about their ethnicity or the origin of their children is inappropriate.
Supposedly she only has two more weeks here and then she goes back home. Please god, let it be true. She keeps joking about coming to stay with me and I flat out told her absolutely no way.
So anyway, the surgery coordinator has a picture of her beautiful infant twins sitting on her desk. And my mother decides to pop up and ask, "Is one of your twins black?"
The poor surgery coordinator looked shocked.
And I said, "you cannot ask questions like that."
And the sweet surgery coordinator said, "no, she just has a darker skin tone."
And she said, "do they have the same father?"
And the surgery coordinator just stared and said, "yes."
And so my mother says, "is your husband hispanic?"
And the surgery coordinator said, "no."
And so my mother says, "so is the mailman?"
And I said sharply, "Mother, you are not old enough or senile enough to be asking such offensive questions."
I guess I managed to shame her, because she apologized to the poor girl, who was very nice about it all, but I can't imagine what she was thinking.
Seriously, WTF is wrong with her? She's not senile, she's not on any drugs that seem to otherwise impair her judgment, she's only 61--so she grew up in the 60's and should be fully aware that interrogating anybody about their ethnicity or the origin of their children is inappropriate.
Supposedly she only has two more weeks here and then she goes back home. Please god, let it be true. She keeps joking about coming to stay with me and I flat out told her absolutely no way.
1/9/12
New Years Goals No 4 - Personal Peace and Sanity
I'm busy (duh!) I work long days, I have three kids, and I'm partly caring for my mother right now. I don't think anyone will argue that it makes for a hectic life (except my mother who seems to think I at her beck and call). But I do think I need to make it a priority to carve out more purposeful down time. I tend to default to watching tv or surfing the internet when I do have unscheduled time (mostly the internet, I really don't watch much tv). I guess it's easier to just plop down on the sofa with my computer than to figure out something else to do, but I feel like I'm spending way too many hours each day in front of a screen (and my eyes usually punish me for it).
I like creating things, and I have a room with a big workspace. Back when I was a SAHM I was always working on some kind of crafty project, but now they are few and far between. I'm thinking about signing up for a block-of-the-month. I haven't quilted in a long time, and trying to take on an entire project sounds overwhelming--something I'm likely to buy all the materials for and then give up on. But I think a BOM might be just right. Just a small project each month and then I get another block the next month to remind me to keep going. The only problem is that I haven't found a BOM that I really love. So I may just end up buying a pattern and materials.
I also think I should start playing music again. I occasionally drag out my flute when I am helping out the twins as they practice their violin and viola. I'm surprised that I can still play at all, but it's actually not that bad. (I've lost my very high and very low ranges and I definitely can't play complex pieces at the speed I once could.) But music is a great stress reliever. I practiced a lot back when I played. Hours every day. I was complaining to my grandmother about my twins not practicing and she said, "well, the reason you practiced so much is because that was your escape from everything that was going on at home." I was a little surprised that my grandmother was this perceptive, but she was dead on. Playing music was my escape--a way to vent my anger and frustration over things that, as a kid, I had no control. I don't have the angst that I did back then, but I think it would still be a good stress reliever.
Third is exercise. My default excuse is that I don't have time. That's only partly true. If I try hard enough, I can find time. And even when it's cold and dark outside (which is usually the case before and after work) I've found playing Just Dance on the wii with the kids is a great workout.
I like creating things, and I have a room with a big workspace. Back when I was a SAHM I was always working on some kind of crafty project, but now they are few and far between. I'm thinking about signing up for a block-of-the-month. I haven't quilted in a long time, and trying to take on an entire project sounds overwhelming--something I'm likely to buy all the materials for and then give up on. But I think a BOM might be just right. Just a small project each month and then I get another block the next month to remind me to keep going. The only problem is that I haven't found a BOM that I really love. So I may just end up buying a pattern and materials.
I also think I should start playing music again. I occasionally drag out my flute when I am helping out the twins as they practice their violin and viola. I'm surprised that I can still play at all, but it's actually not that bad. (I've lost my very high and very low ranges and I definitely can't play complex pieces at the speed I once could.) But music is a great stress reliever. I practiced a lot back when I played. Hours every day. I was complaining to my grandmother about my twins not practicing and she said, "well, the reason you practiced so much is because that was your escape from everything that was going on at home." I was a little surprised that my grandmother was this perceptive, but she was dead on. Playing music was my escape--a way to vent my anger and frustration over things that, as a kid, I had no control. I don't have the angst that I did back then, but I think it would still be a good stress reliever.
Third is exercise. My default excuse is that I don't have time. That's only partly true. If I try hard enough, I can find time. And even when it's cold and dark outside (which is usually the case before and after work) I've found playing Just Dance on the wii with the kids is a great workout.
1/8/12
New Years Goals: No 2 - Health
First, find a new GP. I hate my GP. I feel like she doesn't listen to me and she doesn't really do anything when I go see her. I only visit like twice a year when I really feel like I'm dying, and her best advice is usually "take a Benadryl." A few weeks ago when I picked up some kind of nastiness that just wouldn't go away, I went to the urgent care center. Why? Because I knew they would give me drugs--even if it was only for placebo effect. And they did, along with a steroid shot, which I think really did make me feel better.
So, find a new GP, then resolve outstanding issues.
1) My feet. Am I still grounded from running? I need to have a new bone density test to see if I am actively losing bone mass or if I have always had old lady bones. And is all that calcium and vitamin D I've been taking actually doing anything?
2) GERD. I have indigestion. All.the.time. I eat Tums like candy. My bed is elevated 6 inches above my feet (DH loves this!), but I still vomit in my sleep and then aspirate it if I eat too late. (Yeah, that's disgusting and I probably shouldn't have shared.) I had a scrip for Protonix which actually worked quite well. But the GP referenced above refused to refill my prescription because it affects bone density. She told me to take OTC Zantac, which DOES NOT WORK! So I started taking OTC Prilosec which is pretty much the same thing as Protonix, and clearly states on the box you are only supposed to take for two weeks. But I take it all the time, bones be damned. Clearly I need to get this situation under control. But I think the real answer is to drop 20 pounds.
3) Get in better shape. (Oh how cliche!) DH got me a bike since I'm banned for running. Now I just need to make it a priority to find the time and the motivation to use it. And I need to work in strength training--the real key to avoiding any more breaks in my old lady bones.
And, of course, I need to improve my diet. I actually did make some positive changes last year that stuck. (Unfortunately they did not affect my fatness.) I quit drinking sodas and started drinking water. I limited french fries to no more than once a week (we did eat a lot of fast food, but have substantially reduced). I started bringing apples and raw almonds to munch on at work, instead of the carby crap we keep in the kitchen. I mostly stopped grabbing fast food on my way home on late nights. I started keeping oatmeal (w/ extra fiber and protein) in my drawer at work and eating breakfast every day.
But there is plenty of room for improvement. When I cook, everything I make has cream or butter. I need to find healthier recipes. (But cream and butter make everything delicious!) We need to add more veggies to our diet. And I need to log what I eat, because that, I think, is the key to effective dieting and portion control.
Gee, that doesn't sound so hard.
So, find a new GP, then resolve outstanding issues.
1) My feet. Am I still grounded from running? I need to have a new bone density test to see if I am actively losing bone mass or if I have always had old lady bones. And is all that calcium and vitamin D I've been taking actually doing anything?
2) GERD. I have indigestion. All.the.time. I eat Tums like candy. My bed is elevated 6 inches above my feet (DH loves this!), but I still vomit in my sleep and then aspirate it if I eat too late. (Yeah, that's disgusting and I probably shouldn't have shared.) I had a scrip for Protonix which actually worked quite well. But the GP referenced above refused to refill my prescription because it affects bone density. She told me to take OTC Zantac, which DOES NOT WORK! So I started taking OTC Prilosec which is pretty much the same thing as Protonix, and clearly states on the box you are only supposed to take for two weeks. But I take it all the time, bones be damned. Clearly I need to get this situation under control. But I think the real answer is to drop 20 pounds.
3) Get in better shape. (Oh how cliche!) DH got me a bike since I'm banned for running. Now I just need to make it a priority to find the time and the motivation to use it. And I need to work in strength training--the real key to avoiding any more breaks in my old lady bones.
And, of course, I need to improve my diet. I actually did make some positive changes last year that stuck. (Unfortunately they did not affect my fatness.) I quit drinking sodas and started drinking water. I limited french fries to no more than once a week (we did eat a lot of fast food, but have substantially reduced). I started bringing apples and raw almonds to munch on at work, instead of the carby crap we keep in the kitchen. I mostly stopped grabbing fast food on my way home on late nights. I started keeping oatmeal (w/ extra fiber and protein) in my drawer at work and eating breakfast every day.
But there is plenty of room for improvement. When I cook, everything I make has cream or butter. I need to find healthier recipes. (But cream and butter make everything delicious!) We need to add more veggies to our diet. And I need to log what I eat, because that, I think, is the key to effective dieting and portion control.
Gee, that doesn't sound so hard.
1/7/12
New Years Goals: No 3 - Home
First, hire a new housekeeper. I had to fire mine last week. She was a very nice person, but she was not a very good housekeeper. And the biggest problem was that she wasn't showing up when she was supposed to be here, and twice left me scrambling to get the kids to their activities. (She was supposed to work from 3:30 - 6:30 in the afternoons so that she would be here with the kids and could transport them when needed.) Week after week her check was half what it should have been because she didn't work the days or times that she was supposed to. I could have lived with the less than stellar housekeeping, but not the unreliability.So now I have to start the hiring process all over again. Arghhh.
Second, create a zen space in my bedroom.
My bedroom is the only non-public space on the first floor--so it's become the place stuff gets stashed when we don't know what to do with it or people are coming over. The clutter definitely has an anti-calming effect.
And we recently had to replace our bedding after ours ripped beyond repair. I love the new bedding, but it does not coordinate with the sage green walls that we now have. And I'm kind of over the green. Definitely time for a new coat of paint.
I put a ton of effort into making an awesome pad for the twins--now it's time to do the same for me! This is a top priority project. My plan is to declutter over the next couple of weekends, then paint!
Third, all the little things. I'll admit it--DH and I are 90 per-centers. We get 90% through a project and then we stop. We put in new flooring and baseboards, but the baseboards still need to be caulked. And we put in new trim around the windows and a new back door and they all need to be painted. I guess we need to make a list of all of those little odds and ends and try to knock out one per weekend.
Second, create a zen space in my bedroom.
My bedroom is the only non-public space on the first floor--so it's become the place stuff gets stashed when we don't know what to do with it or people are coming over. The clutter definitely has an anti-calming effect.
And we recently had to replace our bedding after ours ripped beyond repair. I love the new bedding, but it does not coordinate with the sage green walls that we now have. And I'm kind of over the green. Definitely time for a new coat of paint.
I put a ton of effort into making an awesome pad for the twins--now it's time to do the same for me! This is a top priority project. My plan is to declutter over the next couple of weekends, then paint!
Third, all the little things. I'll admit it--DH and I are 90 per-centers. We get 90% through a project and then we stop. We put in new flooring and baseboards, but the baseboards still need to be caulked. And we put in new trim around the windows and a new back door and they all need to be painted. I guess we need to make a list of all of those little odds and ends and try to knock out one per weekend.
New Years Goals: No 1 - Professional
I'm not really into the whole resolution thing, but there are some things I would like to accomplish this year. And setting up a goal isn't much good without setting up a plan for implementing it. So I guess I'll make this a series instead of one long-ass post.
First up--Add three new clients this year
I need to actively work on building a bigger book of business. I have brought in about 4 clients and right now I have 2 active clients. My yearly receivables are about $30k. The only way I can grow professionally is to develop a book of business. In my firm, I am getting the most meaty litigation experience from my own cases. Otherwise, as in every firm, the partners get to do the most interesting work. Also, if I ever want to open up my own firm, I'm going to need my own clients. This isn't necessarily something that I want to do--I really don't like the administrative side of running a law practice--but it would be nice to know that I had that option if I needed it.
So how do I accomplish this? Networking.
Blah. I hate networking. I am not a people person, I am a recluse at heart. I hate cocktail parties and I am terrible at starting up conversations. So maybe my first goal should really be learning how to talk to strangers. But I think that is one of those sink or swim kind of things where you really just have to jump in and do it until you get used to it.
I've actually started taking the baby-steps toward this goal. I somehow managed to get myself appointed to three local bar association committees. This will allow me to network with lawyers in other industries who might be a good source for referrals.
And I'm writing my state law survey to be included with the national survey. This will get my name in front of lawyers in my industry in other states--another possible source of referrals.
Other things I need to do:
1) Join the Women in the ________ Industry group. This will allow networking with potential clients. And in this male-dominated industry where women are referred to as "skirts," I think women appreciate working with other women.
2 )Join an industry trade group and attend their monthly meetings. There are tons, and most of the attorneys in my firm belong to at least one of them, so I guess I need to follow their paths.
3) Start speaking. To somebody--lawyers, trade groups. I need to get in front of people and talk about what I know. I don't really have a fear of public speaking, but I do have a fear of people expecting me to know answers that I don't have.
First up--Add three new clients this year
I need to actively work on building a bigger book of business. I have brought in about 4 clients and right now I have 2 active clients. My yearly receivables are about $30k. The only way I can grow professionally is to develop a book of business. In my firm, I am getting the most meaty litigation experience from my own cases. Otherwise, as in every firm, the partners get to do the most interesting work. Also, if I ever want to open up my own firm, I'm going to need my own clients. This isn't necessarily something that I want to do--I really don't like the administrative side of running a law practice--but it would be nice to know that I had that option if I needed it.
So how do I accomplish this? Networking.
Blah. I hate networking. I am not a people person, I am a recluse at heart. I hate cocktail parties and I am terrible at starting up conversations. So maybe my first goal should really be learning how to talk to strangers. But I think that is one of those sink or swim kind of things where you really just have to jump in and do it until you get used to it.
I've actually started taking the baby-steps toward this goal. I somehow managed to get myself appointed to three local bar association committees. This will allow me to network with lawyers in other industries who might be a good source for referrals.
And I'm writing my state law survey to be included with the national survey. This will get my name in front of lawyers in my industry in other states--another possible source of referrals.
Other things I need to do:
1) Join the Women in the ________ Industry group. This will allow networking with potential clients. And in this male-dominated industry where women are referred to as "skirts," I think women appreciate working with other women.
2 )Join an industry trade group and attend their monthly meetings. There are tons, and most of the attorneys in my firm belong to at least one of them, so I guess I need to follow their paths.
3) Start speaking. To somebody--lawyers, trade groups. I need to get in front of people and talk about what I know. I don't really have a fear of public speaking, but I do have a fear of people expecting me to know answers that I don't have.
12/30/11
I am Sixteen, Going on Seventeen
I've been married 16 years today, that is. Wow. That seems like a really long time. And how are we spending this 16th anniversary? DH is getting a colonoscopy. Fun! He's only 36 (50 is usually when they recommend that you start getting colonoscopies), but he is now only 10 years younger than his mom was when she was first diagnosed. She was stage IV at her initial diagnosis--and the doctors waited too long to do that first colonoscopy because of her age. She had to push to have it done, but she knew something wasn't right with her body. So, we aren't messing around with DH. I demanded that he have this procedure done, even though it's about the last thing in the world he wants to do. Happy anniversary, baby!
In other news, my four days of bliss were indeed blissful but Tuesday was back to the grind. Work was steady and then my brother decided to make a last-minute trip here to visit our mother, and then they finally discharged her from the hospital to a new rehab facility at 7:00 Tuesday night. Unfortunately, this new facility is not at all convenient for me to get to--in the opposite direction of my home and office and requiring a trek through multiple highways and heavy traffic. I've already warned her that my visits will be much fewer.
And at work I somehow managed to get roped into preparing an annual survey of my state's law in my practice area for a national survey put together the relevant ABA section forum. When I agreed to this, I was told the deadline was in the spring. It's actually the end of this year. Oh boy. I started gathering materials yesterday. My state generates a huge body of case law, so there is a lot to sort through. We've also got several substantial legislative updates, but my firm helped draft most of them so at least I'm up to speed on those. And my biggest challenge will be tailoring this down. It's only supposed to be a couple of pages with a few short paragraphs. What I've drafted so far is more like a law review article.
Meanwhile, we're heading to Hometown either this afternoon or tomorrow (depending on how DH feels after being Roto-Rooted). We made reservations to kennel Bob, but we completely forgot about Stefanie, the guinea pig. The kennel doesn't take rodents. We could throw her in the car, but she stresses easily and I don't think she will handle it well. We could ask a neighbor to check in on her, but I feel like they are always helping us out and we never reciprocate (not because we aren't willing, but because they never ask). I guess I better figure this out.
In other news, my four days of bliss were indeed blissful but Tuesday was back to the grind. Work was steady and then my brother decided to make a last-minute trip here to visit our mother, and then they finally discharged her from the hospital to a new rehab facility at 7:00 Tuesday night. Unfortunately, this new facility is not at all convenient for me to get to--in the opposite direction of my home and office and requiring a trek through multiple highways and heavy traffic. I've already warned her that my visits will be much fewer.
And at work I somehow managed to get roped into preparing an annual survey of my state's law in my practice area for a national survey put together the relevant ABA section forum. When I agreed to this, I was told the deadline was in the spring. It's actually the end of this year. Oh boy. I started gathering materials yesterday. My state generates a huge body of case law, so there is a lot to sort through. We've also got several substantial legislative updates, but my firm helped draft most of them so at least I'm up to speed on those. And my biggest challenge will be tailoring this down. It's only supposed to be a couple of pages with a few short paragraphs. What I've drafted so far is more like a law review article.
Meanwhile, we're heading to Hometown either this afternoon or tomorrow (depending on how DH feels after being Roto-Rooted). We made reservations to kennel Bob, but we completely forgot about Stefanie, the guinea pig. The kennel doesn't take rodents. We could throw her in the car, but she stresses easily and I don't think she will handle it well. We could ask a neighbor to check in on her, but I feel like they are always helping us out and we never reciprocate (not because we aren't willing, but because they never ask). I guess I better figure this out.
12/23/11
Down Time
I have the next four days off of work. And no company--not even any family parties to attend because everyone else will be out of town. This may sound sad to some, but it sounds absolutely wonderful to me because I am in desperate need of down time. There is nothing that I have to do and nowhere that I have to be over the next four days--and that's the best gift Santa could bring.
My mother is still in the hospital, so that requires daily visits. Work has been particularly busy for December with lots of deadlines and two hearings this week. And the kids have had concerts and plays and Girl Scout events. There has hardly been a night where I've been home before 9:00 p.m. lately.
I'm planning to spend my four days of bliss curled up with a book and a cup of coffee (Santa brought us a Keurig a few days early!), watching Christmas movies, and playing the Wii with the kids. Today we might venture out to see Hugo (we've been dying to see this movie but simply haven't had time) and may even go ice skating.
And I'm copping out and going easy for Christmas dinner. I'm going to put together a baked ziti today that we can just pop in the oven on Christmas. And I'm making making Overnight Pecan Praline Baked French Toast for Christmas morning. (I made this at Thanksgiving and it is really yummy, but 6 eggs are plenty and be sure to cut your bread thick or it will be soggy.)
We'll head to Hometown next weekend to see our families. It will be fun, but not nearly as relaxing as my four days at home (did I mention how excited I am about this?)
My mother is still in the hospital, so that requires daily visits. Work has been particularly busy for December with lots of deadlines and two hearings this week. And the kids have had concerts and plays and Girl Scout events. There has hardly been a night where I've been home before 9:00 p.m. lately.
I'm planning to spend my four days of bliss curled up with a book and a cup of coffee (Santa brought us a Keurig a few days early!), watching Christmas movies, and playing the Wii with the kids. Today we might venture out to see Hugo (we've been dying to see this movie but simply haven't had time) and may even go ice skating.
And I'm copping out and going easy for Christmas dinner. I'm going to put together a baked ziti today that we can just pop in the oven on Christmas. And I'm making making Overnight Pecan Praline Baked French Toast for Christmas morning. (I made this at Thanksgiving and it is really yummy, but 6 eggs are plenty and be sure to cut your bread thick or it will be soggy.)
We'll head to Hometown next weekend to see our families. It will be fun, but not nearly as relaxing as my four days at home (did I mention how excited I am about this?)
12/13/11
Finally!
My mother finally had the second half of her hip replacement surgery today. The first half was August 25--we've been waiting almost 4 months. Meanwhile, she's been in a rehab facility here--400 miles from home--where I am pretty much the only person available to check in on her. (Her husband can't stay here with her because he is receiving chemotherapy treatments in Hometown.) So it was a huge relief to finally have this surgery.
Of course, it did not go as smoothly as planned. After the surgeon opened her up, he came out to tell us that he would have to replace her femur because there wasn't enough bone left to attach the hip. And in the end, she ended up getting a new knee, too, because the new femur couldn't attach to the artificial knee that was already there.
So she now has an incision from her hip to mid-calf and will be on bedrest for 7 days to allow it to hear. She'll be in the hospital for at least 10 days, instead of the originally planned 3-4. And then rehab starts all over again. We were hoping she could go home by mid-January, but who knows how long recovery will take now.
And she will eventually have to come back to have the other hip done.
This was a big step, but it still feels like a never-ending nightmare.
Of course, it did not go as smoothly as planned. After the surgeon opened her up, he came out to tell us that he would have to replace her femur because there wasn't enough bone left to attach the hip. And in the end, she ended up getting a new knee, too, because the new femur couldn't attach to the artificial knee that was already there.
So she now has an incision from her hip to mid-calf and will be on bedrest for 7 days to allow it to hear. She'll be in the hospital for at least 10 days, instead of the originally planned 3-4. And then rehab starts all over again. We were hoping she could go home by mid-January, but who knows how long recovery will take now.
And she will eventually have to come back to have the other hip done.
This was a big step, but it still feels like a never-ending nightmare.
12/12/11
Finally went to the doctor today
Totally not embarrassed at all when I found out I would be getting a steroid shot in my butt from a very young male nurse and I was wearing see-through purple lace undies.
Rule for life in LC's house--the sexier the undies, the longer it's been since laundry was done. I guess I should be glad it hadn't been a few more days.
Rule for life in LC's house--the sexier the undies, the longer it's been since laundry was done. I guess I should be glad it hadn't been a few more days.
12/11/11
Holiday Madness
We have been crazy busy since before Thanksgiving and there is no end in sight. Thanksgiving was great, but we had lots of company which meant little downtime. And every weekend through the end of the year is booked.
Yesterday we finally got our Christmas tree and put up outdoor lights. Until then we had not a single decoration up (kind of funny, since we had Halloween decorations up for 6 weeks thanks to PS's late-September party). It has become a yearly tradition to cut our own tree at a local tree farm, and the kids refused to give it up even it it meant waiting a while to get a tree. I'm glad we stuck with our tradition, though--it was a beautiful day yesterday and we had a great time.
But the tree is still sitting in a bucket in the garage. The twins had Caroling for Cans with their Girl Scout troop last night and DH and I attended his work party where I wore the very short dress and had a fabulous mashed potato martini (the most awesome martini evah for a carb lover). I guess today we'll be decorating indoors today.
This week the twins have their first orchestra concert, PS has a play and my mother (finger's crossed!) has her surgery. And I have about 5 work deadlines on Friday, but I think I have them all under control. And then we have symphony tickets next weekend, and more work parties and I still have some serious baking and shopping to do. Oh boy!
In other news, our family pics turned out great--especially considering that we only had about a 20 minute window to work with. In fact, we got so many good ones that I am now considering doing photo books instead of just a framed family photo for the grandparents for Christmas. Anybody have any recommendations for where to order? It looks like I can order from just about anywhere, but I have no idea how the quality among the various retailers compares. I'm also planning to order canvases, if anyone has ordered those before and can testify to the quality of a particular place.
I wish I could share them, but that would kinda kill the whole anony-blogger thing. So you just get the rear view. (DH hates this pic--he says it looks like we're off the see the Wizard.)
12/4/11
The best laid plans...
For weeks we had our family pictures scheduled for yesterday. We wanted them before Christmas, and this was just about the only weekend we've had open since mid-October. So I had the photographer booked, scouted the perfect outdoor location, arranged to have my hair done, and shopped for coordinated but not matchy-matchy outfits.
And then I started feeling crappy. A handful of drugs and a steamy shower allowed me to feel semi-humanoid.
And then the weather turned ugly. Windy and misty--the perfect weather to ruin the fabulous hair that my stylist had just given me. My hair is naturally curly/frizzy--it does not agree with humidity.
But I already had everything booked, so we went forward. The photographer loved the location that I chose, and we were about 20 minutes in and getting great shots when the skies opened up and we all got poured on. That was the end of our session because we looked like a family of drowned rats.
She said she got some good shots, but she didn't know if there was a good family shot. Kind of a bummer since the family pic was supposed to be our Christmas gifts to our parents and grandparents.
We never got to a grouping of just the kids, but she got lots of individual pics of each.
She sent me 4 pics tonight--the group shots weren't great (it's always a challenge getting 5 people to look good at the same time), but there was a good one of DH and me and she said there were several more really good couple shots. So I guess not all is lost. I hate having my picture made, so there are very few pictures of me in existence, and DH and I haven't had a picture together since we were engaged--so over 16 years ago!
I can't wait to see the rest. Hopefully she got some good individual shots of the kids.
And then I started feeling crappy. A handful of drugs and a steamy shower allowed me to feel semi-humanoid.
And then the weather turned ugly. Windy and misty--the perfect weather to ruin the fabulous hair that my stylist had just given me. My hair is naturally curly/frizzy--it does not agree with humidity.
But I already had everything booked, so we went forward. The photographer loved the location that I chose, and we were about 20 minutes in and getting great shots when the skies opened up and we all got poured on. That was the end of our session because we looked like a family of drowned rats.
She said she got some good shots, but she didn't know if there was a good family shot. Kind of a bummer since the family pic was supposed to be our Christmas gifts to our parents and grandparents.
We never got to a grouping of just the kids, but she got lots of individual pics of each.
She sent me 4 pics tonight--the group shots weren't great (it's always a challenge getting 5 people to look good at the same time), but there was a good one of DH and me and she said there were several more really good couple shots. So I guess not all is lost. I hate having my picture made, so there are very few pictures of me in existence, and DH and I haven't had a picture together since we were engaged--so over 16 years ago!
I can't wait to see the rest. Hopefully she got some good individual shots of the kids.
11/21/11
Oops
It finally showed up today, and I ripped open the package and immediately went to try it on, half expecting it to be too small. Woohoo--it fits!!!
Except that it is REALLY short. Like slutty short. Like barely covering my girlie bits better make sure I get a wax before wearing short and don't sit or bend EVER short.
Of course, the measurements were provided on the website, but I didn't bother to check the length. It didn't look short on the mannequin, and since at 5'4" I'm on the shorter side, even dresses that look short on tall, slender models are usually ok for me.
So am I going to return it?
No. Even though I think I'm a bit too old to wear a dress this short. But my legs are among my better assets, and the rest of the dress is conservative enough to offset the slutty shortness, I think. I will add black hose instead of going bare-legged, as was my original intent, though.
The quality was also better than expected for the price. To get free shipping I threw in a pair of earrings and this cute little sweater, which also seems like decent quality for the price.
11/17/11
My Babies are Growing Up
So TT came to me last night and said that she really wanted to start shaving her legs. This kind of surprised me, since she's my tomboy. I would have expected her girlie-girl twin to ask first. But as TT pointed out, she does wear shorts a lot. (The child practically lives in soccer shorts. She's always hot, and it was still in the 80's here this week. And she does have really hairy legs.) Also, I kind of had to push PS to start shaving when she entered 7th grade, because I was afraid the other kids would make fun of her. (I was shaving well before 7th grade, but I remember skipping a week or so and then wearing a skirt and catching hell from a couple of asshole boys.)
I think I started shaving the summer before 5th grade, so this seems about right for TT. I bought her an electric shaver, like I did for her older sister. It works well enough for now, and she was excited about trying this new big girl thing. I can hear the shaver whirring away as I type.
I'm sure SS will want to jump on the hairless bandwagon now that TT has started. But Target only had one shaver on the shelf, so she'll have to wait a few days until I can get to the store again.
Poor girls, they don't realize that they've just set themselves up for a lifetime of shaving and stubble.
Meanwhile, I am seriously considering laser hair removal for my face. I swear, I'm turning into a man with a full beard and I can barely keep up with the waxing and depilatories. And believe me, fair skin and dark hair is not a good combination.
I think I started shaving the summer before 5th grade, so this seems about right for TT. I bought her an electric shaver, like I did for her older sister. It works well enough for now, and she was excited about trying this new big girl thing. I can hear the shaver whirring away as I type.
I'm sure SS will want to jump on the hairless bandwagon now that TT has started. But Target only had one shaver on the shelf, so she'll have to wait a few days until I can get to the store again.
Poor girls, they don't realize that they've just set themselves up for a lifetime of shaving and stubble.
Meanwhile, I am seriously considering laser hair removal for my face. I swear, I'm turning into a man with a full beard and I can barely keep up with the waxing and depilatories. And believe me, fair skin and dark hair is not a good combination.
11/15/11
Turkey Day
So I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year, for the first time since 2006 when I was still in law school and my mother-in-law was still alive. I love Thanksgiving and generally love to host, but I've had some concerns about it causing more stress this year since there has been so much going on.
FIL and his wife are coming to town. I have to admit I was more than a little relieved when I learned they would be staying in a hotel. And I just learned that SIL and her family will be coming down Black Friday. It's been a while since we saw them, and we're looking forward to hanging out with our adorable little nephews.
Fortunately, the new housekeeper is working out great, and she will be here the Tuesday and Wednesday before Thanksgiving to make sure the house is company ready. Having someone to maintain the chaos in the house has been a HUGE stress reliever. It's so much easier to relax in a clean house.
Local family is coming, too, so it looks like we will have 12 for dinner. A reasonably sized crowd, although we have had about double that before. I've already bought my turkey and all of my nonperishables, and I've been testing out new recipes. I'm going to try brining the turkey this year, and then using my regular recipe. I've never brined before, but I keep hearing that it's the best way to get a moist turkey. I guess we'll see.
And today I bought tickets for the Nutcracker for the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I have never seen it performed live. Every year I say I'm going to take the girls, but we never make it. But I got an email today with a great deal on tickets to see a well-regarded production company at our beautiful new opera house. I'm so excited! It will be so much fun to get all dressed up and have a girls day out. (DH didn't have much interest in going with us.) It will be a lovely way to wrap up our Thanksgiving weekend.
FIL and his wife are coming to town. I have to admit I was more than a little relieved when I learned they would be staying in a hotel. And I just learned that SIL and her family will be coming down Black Friday. It's been a while since we saw them, and we're looking forward to hanging out with our adorable little nephews.
Fortunately, the new housekeeper is working out great, and she will be here the Tuesday and Wednesday before Thanksgiving to make sure the house is company ready. Having someone to maintain the chaos in the house has been a HUGE stress reliever. It's so much easier to relax in a clean house.
Local family is coming, too, so it looks like we will have 12 for dinner. A reasonably sized crowd, although we have had about double that before. I've already bought my turkey and all of my nonperishables, and I've been testing out new recipes. I'm going to try brining the turkey this year, and then using my regular recipe. I've never brined before, but I keep hearing that it's the best way to get a moist turkey. I guess we'll see.
And today I bought tickets for the Nutcracker for the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I have never seen it performed live. Every year I say I'm going to take the girls, but we never make it. But I got an email today with a great deal on tickets to see a well-regarded production company at our beautiful new opera house. I'm so excited! It will be so much fun to get all dressed up and have a girls day out. (DH didn't have much interest in going with us.) It will be a lovely way to wrap up our Thanksgiving weekend.
11/12/11
Listamania: Things I love about my kids
1) They are funny. I had no idea how much I would laugh once I had kids. When they were little, they made me laugh with silly little kid antics. Now that all have witty, deadpan senses of humor.
2) They are good kids. They are well-behaved and people like them. I always get compliments from their teachers.
3) They are kind. They will stick up for someone who has been wronged. And they aren't mean girls-they are nice even to the kids who irritate them. I think the twins would be classified as popular. Of course, being a twin brings built-in popularity. EVERYWHERE we go we hear "Hi SS, Hi TT!!!"
4) They like to hang out with their family. I guess this surprises me, because I was always hiding in my room with a book. But they love it when we have family movie nights or game nights. And often, we are all hanging out in the same room, even if it means that we are all on different computers with a tv blaring in the background. I love being lumped together on the couch like a pile of puppies!
5) Each is her own person. PS won't do anything just because someone else is doing it. She could not care less that every other kid in her school lives in their Abercrombie shirts and Toms shoes. And the twins may look exactly alike, but their personalities are completely different. It is very clear which twin takes after me and which one takes after DH. One is laid-back and goes with the flow. The other is high-strung and bossy. One loves to wear dresses and jewelery and carries a purse everywhere with her blinged-out cell phone in it. The other lives in soccer shorts and the rattiest t-shirts she can dig up, and hates skirts.
2) They are good kids. They are well-behaved and people like them. I always get compliments from their teachers.
3) They are kind. They will stick up for someone who has been wronged. And they aren't mean girls-they are nice even to the kids who irritate them. I think the twins would be classified as popular. Of course, being a twin brings built-in popularity. EVERYWHERE we go we hear "Hi SS, Hi TT!!!"
4) They like to hang out with their family. I guess this surprises me, because I was always hiding in my room with a book. But they love it when we have family movie nights or game nights. And often, we are all hanging out in the same room, even if it means that we are all on different computers with a tv blaring in the background. I love being lumped together on the couch like a pile of puppies!
5) Each is her own person. PS won't do anything just because someone else is doing it. She could not care less that every other kid in her school lives in their Abercrombie shirts and Toms shoes. And the twins may look exactly alike, but their personalities are completely different. It is very clear which twin takes after me and which one takes after DH. One is laid-back and goes with the flow. The other is high-strung and bossy. One loves to wear dresses and jewelery and carries a purse everywhere with her blinged-out cell phone in it. The other lives in soccer shorts and the rattiest t-shirts she can dig up, and hates skirts.
Hip to Be Square
Thank goodness it's the weekend. After being out of town last weekend, I feel like I have been going, going, going for two weeks now. I'm really looking forward to some downtime, although I am going to have to spend some quality time at the office at some point.
So I finally got an answer out of the doctor regarding when my mother's custom hip implant would be ready. December fucking 12. Thank you Biomet. No, they haven't given me any reasonable explanation for why it takes 3.5 MONTHS to make a custom hip implant. It is beyond ridiculous.
No, the doctor did not ever advise us at any point that it would take 3.5 months for this part to be made. We were told the second half of the surgery would be in 8 weeks--NOT 15!
I am not happy, but I don't think there's much I can do about it, at least not right now. I really believe that Biomet dropped the ball somewhere along the way. And the lack of communication from the surgeon is appalling. In typical surgeon fashion, he just wants to cut and has no interest in patient care. But by all accounts, he is the very best at this specialized surgery, so I am treading carefully so that I don't piss him off.
Meanwhile, she has run out of time on her insurance. They are telling her she needs to move out this week--just when we learn it will be another month. The rehab facility keeps asking her why she can't go home with me--and she asked me about it this week. This is an asinine question. SHE CAN'T GET OUT OF BED!!! She is completely non-weight bearing on both legs. A physical therapist or nurse has to move her from her bed to a chair on a board. She has been injured twice by professionals trying to move her. She can't transfer to a toilet. She would require in-home care at least 16 hours a day. A wheelchair won't fit through my doorways--she would be living in my living room or dining room. And for my own sanity: I already have 3 kids to take care of; I'm gone at least 12 hours a day; I'm not going to force my husband and children to take on this responsibility; I am stretched as far as I can be stretched right now moving her here would undoubtedly break me.
The uninsured per diem to remain where she is is $170/day. That's about $5000/month. I'm certain she has access to $5K, so it's not like I'm forcing her on the street by telling her that she can't stay here.
Not to mention that home care would cost close to that $170/day, if not more. And it doesn't cover room and board and food and laundry service and a full professional staff.
It was just beyond her comprehension that she might have to pay something out of pocket after she has been in rehab for 2.5 months. But after telling her that moving in with me is not an option, and breaking down the finances, I think it is getting through to her.
Boy, I wish they'd get that new hip in.
So I finally got an answer out of the doctor regarding when my mother's custom hip implant would be ready. December fucking 12. Thank you Biomet. No, they haven't given me any reasonable explanation for why it takes 3.5 MONTHS to make a custom hip implant. It is beyond ridiculous.
No, the doctor did not ever advise us at any point that it would take 3.5 months for this part to be made. We were told the second half of the surgery would be in 8 weeks--NOT 15!
I am not happy, but I don't think there's much I can do about it, at least not right now. I really believe that Biomet dropped the ball somewhere along the way. And the lack of communication from the surgeon is appalling. In typical surgeon fashion, he just wants to cut and has no interest in patient care. But by all accounts, he is the very best at this specialized surgery, so I am treading carefully so that I don't piss him off.
Meanwhile, she has run out of time on her insurance. They are telling her she needs to move out this week--just when we learn it will be another month. The rehab facility keeps asking her why she can't go home with me--and she asked me about it this week. This is an asinine question. SHE CAN'T GET OUT OF BED!!! She is completely non-weight bearing on both legs. A physical therapist or nurse has to move her from her bed to a chair on a board. She has been injured twice by professionals trying to move her. She can't transfer to a toilet. She would require in-home care at least 16 hours a day. A wheelchair won't fit through my doorways--she would be living in my living room or dining room. And for my own sanity: I already have 3 kids to take care of; I'm gone at least 12 hours a day; I'm not going to force my husband and children to take on this responsibility; I am stretched as far as I can be stretched right now moving her here would undoubtedly break me.
The uninsured per diem to remain where she is is $170/day. That's about $5000/month. I'm certain she has access to $5K, so it's not like I'm forcing her on the street by telling her that she can't stay here.
Not to mention that home care would cost close to that $170/day, if not more. And it doesn't cover room and board and food and laundry service and a full professional staff.
It was just beyond her comprehension that she might have to pay something out of pocket after she has been in rehab for 2.5 months. But after telling her that moving in with me is not an option, and breaking down the finances, I think it is getting through to her.
Boy, I wish they'd get that new hip in.
11/8/11
Vegas, baby
So, since my blog has taken a turn for the whiny of late, I will tell you about my trip to Vegas, which was really nice and lots of fun.
I've mentioned before that I don't really love Vegas. I've been once before, and my strongest memories were of inflamed sinuses from the cigarette smoke and the whore peddlers handing out trading cards on the street. Yeah, those things were still there. The cigarette smoke is pervasive, and I felt vaguely headachey the entire time we were there because of it. I guess the good news is that it kept us out of the casinos. I'm not really a gambler anyway, but I was not inclined to spend any time sitting in a haze of smoke while losing my money.
But other than that, I really enjoyed our trip, and I think a weekend is just the right amount of time to spend there.
We stayed in the Bellagio, which is fantastic. Our room was gorgeous and I wanted to bring the entire bathroom back home with me.
We saw three shows while we were there: Love, Absinthe and Mystere. Love was really the reason for the trip and it did not disappoint. It was simply fantastic. If you are a Beatles fan it is a must-see. There was so much going on that I would go see this show again just to catch everything I missed the first time around.
I'd heard that Love is different from the typical Cirque show, and some people don't care for it because it is more about the music than the acrobatics. So we made a last minute decision to see Mystere when we found discount tickets--just so we could experience a classic Cirque show (because we had never seen any Cirque shows before this trip).
I really did not care for Mystere. I thought both of the other shows that we saw were infinitely better. I can't put my finger on why I didn't care for it. It was weird and abstract--but so was Love. The Love music was definitely better. The Mystere music felt a bit dated. There is a bit with a giant baby in Mystere that I just thought was dumb.
Finally, Absinthe. It is a fairly new show in a tent in front of Ceasar's. We had heard about it before we left and were interested but didn't know if we would have time to see it. But on our first night we were walking by and tickets were available, so we made the spontaneous decision to check it out.
Absinthe is vulgar, obscene, offensive and fantastic. We both really liked it (DH said more than LOVE--and he is the Beatles fan!--but I would probably put it right behind Love.) If you are offended by racial or sexual humor, don't see this show--it is really, really offensive to people of all races, colors and sexual orientation. And multiply the Hangover 2 by 10 to understand the obscenity. But it was really funny, and the athleticism of the performers was amazing. There was a tiny 10 foot diameter stage, and it was astonishing what the performers could accomplish there. It's also a very small venue--we were only 3 rows back--and I doubt there was a bad seat in the house. I highly recommend Absinthe, with the caveat that it is offensive and if you are sensitive you should skip it (and definitely do not take your grandmother).
Other than shows, we shopped, we ate, we wandered around. The spiked milkshakes at BLT Burger in the Mirage are definitely worth checking out, but I thought the food was mediocre. The service at Cabo Wabo in Planet Hollywood was the worst I have ever encountered anywhere. The breakfast buffet at Bellagio was eh--nothing was warm, hard to justify the price. Room service was cheaper--and I do love eating in bed in a hotel room! Didn't try any high end restaurants--fancy food is not really out thing.
I'm glad to be back home and I think I can wait another 8 years to go back. By Sunday afternoon , we were both kind of bored. But I'm glad we went--it was a much needed, relaxing weekend.
I've mentioned before that I don't really love Vegas. I've been once before, and my strongest memories were of inflamed sinuses from the cigarette smoke and the whore peddlers handing out trading cards on the street. Yeah, those things were still there. The cigarette smoke is pervasive, and I felt vaguely headachey the entire time we were there because of it. I guess the good news is that it kept us out of the casinos. I'm not really a gambler anyway, but I was not inclined to spend any time sitting in a haze of smoke while losing my money.
But other than that, I really enjoyed our trip, and I think a weekend is just the right amount of time to spend there.
We stayed in the Bellagio, which is fantastic. Our room was gorgeous and I wanted to bring the entire bathroom back home with me.
We saw three shows while we were there: Love, Absinthe and Mystere. Love was really the reason for the trip and it did not disappoint. It was simply fantastic. If you are a Beatles fan it is a must-see. There was so much going on that I would go see this show again just to catch everything I missed the first time around.
I'd heard that Love is different from the typical Cirque show, and some people don't care for it because it is more about the music than the acrobatics. So we made a last minute decision to see Mystere when we found discount tickets--just so we could experience a classic Cirque show (because we had never seen any Cirque shows before this trip).
I really did not care for Mystere. I thought both of the other shows that we saw were infinitely better. I can't put my finger on why I didn't care for it. It was weird and abstract--but so was Love. The Love music was definitely better. The Mystere music felt a bit dated. There is a bit with a giant baby in Mystere that I just thought was dumb.
Finally, Absinthe. It is a fairly new show in a tent in front of Ceasar's. We had heard about it before we left and were interested but didn't know if we would have time to see it. But on our first night we were walking by and tickets were available, so we made the spontaneous decision to check it out.
Absinthe is vulgar, obscene, offensive and fantastic. We both really liked it (DH said more than LOVE--and he is the Beatles fan!--but I would probably put it right behind Love.) If you are offended by racial or sexual humor, don't see this show--it is really, really offensive to people of all races, colors and sexual orientation. And multiply the Hangover 2 by 10 to understand the obscenity. But it was really funny, and the athleticism of the performers was amazing. There was a tiny 10 foot diameter stage, and it was astonishing what the performers could accomplish there. It's also a very small venue--we were only 3 rows back--and I doubt there was a bad seat in the house. I highly recommend Absinthe, with the caveat that it is offensive and if you are sensitive you should skip it (and definitely do not take your grandmother).
Other than shows, we shopped, we ate, we wandered around. The spiked milkshakes at BLT Burger in the Mirage are definitely worth checking out, but I thought the food was mediocre. The service at Cabo Wabo in Planet Hollywood was the worst I have ever encountered anywhere. The breakfast buffet at Bellagio was eh--nothing was warm, hard to justify the price. Room service was cheaper--and I do love eating in bed in a hotel room! Didn't try any high end restaurants--fancy food is not really out thing.
I'm glad to be back home and I think I can wait another 8 years to go back. By Sunday afternoon , we were both kind of bored. But I'm glad we went--it was a much needed, relaxing weekend.
11/7/11
My Life is a Roller Coaster a/k/a All Hell is Breaking Loose...Again
I got up at 5:45 this morning to make my 8:45 flight back home from Vegas (DH is there until Wednesday for his conference). Made it to my office by 2:30. At 3:45 TT texted me that she had a fever and wasn't feeling well. At 4:00 the power went out in my building, so by 4:30 I had packed up and was heading home.
Got home and rechecked the kid's temp. Yep, definitely a fever. Got online for web check-in at urgent care. Then PS told me that there was a hole in the fence and they had to supervise Bob every time he goes outside. So I went to fix the fence while I waited for urgent care to call back with my appointment time.
I totally suck at fixing fences. I broke at least 5 nails in half, bent about 8 more, and it took me entirely too long to replace two pickets. I was cursing DH for leaving me with this crappy fence (that we are about to replace, we are just waiting for his dad to bring down a nail gun at Thanksgiving), but I eventually got the job done. Then realized an hour had passed and urgent care had never called. Called them, they had no record of my web check in, but said to come on down.
Of course we had to wait 30 minutes to be seen. Doc confirmed strep (no surprise, since SS had strep a week ago) and gave us a prescription for a Z-pack. Meanwhile, huge thunderstorms rolled in. Because DH is still in Vegas, PS and SS were home alone and I was worried that they would get scared or the power would go out, but neither would answer their phones!
I headed to Kroger in the pouring rain to get the scrip filled and yelled at the punk high school who whipped around in front of me to turn into the opposite slanted parking spot (the one that was slanted in my direction).
Inside I found that Kroger had just had a power surge and most of their computers weren't working. They couldn't process my insurance or my credit card. But Kroger awesomely estimated my insurance payment (and I know it was right because I got the same scrip for TT last week) and I, fortunately, had cash on hand.
Headed out and stopped by Sonic per TT's request for a milkshake. Her sisters finally called back and proclaimed they were starving (it was 8:00 by then and I hadn't made dinner yet). Ordered dinner and then realized that my wallet was nowhere to be found. Frantically called the pharmacy which confirmed that they had my wallet. And, since I have a habit of sticking cash in the various nooks and crannies of my giant Mary Poppins bag, I had enough to cover the food I had just ordered.
Left Sonic and headed back to Kroger. TT said, "hey, did you get my shake?" No, I forgot all about the shake--the whole purpose of going to Sonic for my poor sick girl with a sore throat.
Back to Kroger for my wallet, then back to Sonic for the shake. Finally made it back home at 8:30, exhausted.
Texted housekeeper to see if she could come in early and stay with TT tomorrow (if she was even willing to deal with sick kid) but she is sick, too. I need to go to work tomorrow, since I only worked a couple of hours on Friday and Monday, but it doesn't look like it's meant to be.
in less chaotic news, all of my crises from last week resolved themselves. The dishwasher did turn out to be related to the garbage disposal (no, I didn't say " I told you so" but I did say " you should listen to your wife, there are people who pay lots of money for her opinion.") And Friday afternoon the court granted my motion to continue the hearing that was set for tomorrow. And I quashed all of my upcoming depositions except one in response to a pleading filed by an opposing party on Thursday--so my schedule for the next two weeks pretty much cleared out.
Lets hope life stays calm at least until Thursday when DH is back and can help out. I am a wee bit bitter that he is still living it up in Vegas while I am back to the circus that is our life.
Got home and rechecked the kid's temp. Yep, definitely a fever. Got online for web check-in at urgent care. Then PS told me that there was a hole in the fence and they had to supervise Bob every time he goes outside. So I went to fix the fence while I waited for urgent care to call back with my appointment time.
I totally suck at fixing fences. I broke at least 5 nails in half, bent about 8 more, and it took me entirely too long to replace two pickets. I was cursing DH for leaving me with this crappy fence (that we are about to replace, we are just waiting for his dad to bring down a nail gun at Thanksgiving), but I eventually got the job done. Then realized an hour had passed and urgent care had never called. Called them, they had no record of my web check in, but said to come on down.
Of course we had to wait 30 minutes to be seen. Doc confirmed strep (no surprise, since SS had strep a week ago) and gave us a prescription for a Z-pack. Meanwhile, huge thunderstorms rolled in. Because DH is still in Vegas, PS and SS were home alone and I was worried that they would get scared or the power would go out, but neither would answer their phones!
I headed to Kroger in the pouring rain to get the scrip filled and yelled at the punk high school who whipped around in front of me to turn into the opposite slanted parking spot (the one that was slanted in my direction).
Inside I found that Kroger had just had a power surge and most of their computers weren't working. They couldn't process my insurance or my credit card. But Kroger awesomely estimated my insurance payment (and I know it was right because I got the same scrip for TT last week) and I, fortunately, had cash on hand.
Headed out and stopped by Sonic per TT's request for a milkshake. Her sisters finally called back and proclaimed they were starving (it was 8:00 by then and I hadn't made dinner yet). Ordered dinner and then realized that my wallet was nowhere to be found. Frantically called the pharmacy which confirmed that they had my wallet. And, since I have a habit of sticking cash in the various nooks and crannies of my giant Mary Poppins bag, I had enough to cover the food I had just ordered.
Left Sonic and headed back to Kroger. TT said, "hey, did you get my shake?" No, I forgot all about the shake--the whole purpose of going to Sonic for my poor sick girl with a sore throat.
Back to Kroger for my wallet, then back to Sonic for the shake. Finally made it back home at 8:30, exhausted.
Texted housekeeper to see if she could come in early and stay with TT tomorrow (if she was even willing to deal with sick kid) but she is sick, too. I need to go to work tomorrow, since I only worked a couple of hours on Friday and Monday, but it doesn't look like it's meant to be.
in less chaotic news, all of my crises from last week resolved themselves. The dishwasher did turn out to be related to the garbage disposal (no, I didn't say " I told you so" but I did say " you should listen to your wife, there are people who pay lots of money for her opinion.") And Friday afternoon the court granted my motion to continue the hearing that was set for tomorrow. And I quashed all of my upcoming depositions except one in response to a pleading filed by an opposing party on Thursday--so my schedule for the next two weeks pretty much cleared out.
Lets hope life stays calm at least until Thursday when DH is back and can help out. I am a wee bit bitter that he is still living it up in Vegas while I am back to the circus that is our life.
11/2/11
Bitchfest
I am feeling like a rubber band that just keeps getting stretched farther and farther. You can see the cracks developing and you know its gonna break, it's just a matter of when.
Today PS texted me, "There is water spewing from the thing at the top of the sink and it is getting on the hardwoods." Grrr-eat! Fortunately, she's a smart girl and knew that was a vent for the dishwasher, so she turned off the dishwasher and cleaned up the mess before it ruined the floor.
Two days ago I looked under the kitchen sink and noticed it smelled musty. Upon further inspection I found that the garbage disposal was dripping nasty water and there was quite a puddle and a couple of inches of putrid water in a vase that happened to be conveniently placed.
DH replaced the garbage disposal last night so I figured that today's issue was probably related to his installation. He vehemently disagreed, and I honestly can't see the connection between the dishwasher and the garbage disposal when I look at the pipes under the sink, so I guess he's off the hook. Except that he's still the one who gets to figure out what the heck is going on with the dishwasher.And during his inspection tonight he accidentally pulled loose a hose and backed-up water flooded my kitchen and the hardwoods in the connected living room.
And this is all most inconveniently timed. We are both leaving for Vegas on Friday. My brother is coming down to visit our mother and look after my girls. I do not want to leave him in a house with an f'd up dishwasher or garbage disposal. I also don't want to go buy a dishwasher because it would come out of my Vegas money. And I don't really have the time to deal with any of this. Arrrghhhh!
This stupid trip is causing more stress than it's worth. If it wasn't nonrefundably paid for I think I'd cancel.
I return early Monday afternoon so that I can get in a half day's work. I have a hearing* on Tuesday, depositions on Wednesday and Thursday, a full day client meeting to prepare for his deposition the following Monday, followed my more depositions the next Wednesday and Thursday. Meanwhile, DH is out of town until Wednesday night--and PS has a play Wednesday night.
Two different named partners have had me on two different monster memos for the last week and a half, so I haven't had time to prepare for anything coming up in the next two weeks.
And yesterday I started working on an MSJ and Shepardizing a recent MSJ on the same topic when I found that the state supreme court issued an opinion last week that overturned existing law and completely obliterated the affirmative defense that was the basis of my MSJ. This case is specific to the industry in which 99% of my firm's practice is based and has significant ramifications for most of our clients. So I took it upon myself to brief the opinion and send it out to all of my partners.
Do I get a "Wow, thanks LC. It's a good thing you told us about this case cuz its pretty important to our clients." Um, no (because I don't live in a fairy tale world where partners actually say thank you). I get, "Did you add this memo to our research database? What search terms did you use? (Economic loss because its about the economic loss rule, duh!) You know it's important to guess which search terms other people might use and not just enter the terms that come logically to you. (So, I'm supposed to use my Spidey-sense to know what random ass search term you are going to enter when you are looking for that supreme court case on the economic loss rule?)" I was fine without a thank you, but that conversation irritated me.
And then I got, "By the way, please send me the contact information for all of the attorneys who handled that case." That REALLY irritated me. Because a secretary totally couldn't do that, right? It took an enormous amount of self-control not to pop off with a smart ass comment that probably would have gotten me fired.
Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive because I'm stressed. I've been on the verge of tears a lot lately. That's not really my thing. I definitely need more control over my life.
*And by hearing, I mean a trial on appeal from an administrative decision. So I have to put on witnesses and introduce evidence and pick a jury. I have a pending motion for continuance, but the court hasn't ruled yet.
Today PS texted me, "There is water spewing from the thing at the top of the sink and it is getting on the hardwoods." Grrr-eat! Fortunately, she's a smart girl and knew that was a vent for the dishwasher, so she turned off the dishwasher and cleaned up the mess before it ruined the floor.
Two days ago I looked under the kitchen sink and noticed it smelled musty. Upon further inspection I found that the garbage disposal was dripping nasty water and there was quite a puddle and a couple of inches of putrid water in a vase that happened to be conveniently placed.
DH replaced the garbage disposal last night so I figured that today's issue was probably related to his installation. He vehemently disagreed, and I honestly can't see the connection between the dishwasher and the garbage disposal when I look at the pipes under the sink, so I guess he's off the hook. Except that he's still the one who gets to figure out what the heck is going on with the dishwasher.And during his inspection tonight he accidentally pulled loose a hose and backed-up water flooded my kitchen and the hardwoods in the connected living room.
And this is all most inconveniently timed. We are both leaving for Vegas on Friday. My brother is coming down to visit our mother and look after my girls. I do not want to leave him in a house with an f'd up dishwasher or garbage disposal. I also don't want to go buy a dishwasher because it would come out of my Vegas money. And I don't really have the time to deal with any of this. Arrrghhhh!
This stupid trip is causing more stress than it's worth. If it wasn't nonrefundably paid for I think I'd cancel.
I return early Monday afternoon so that I can get in a half day's work. I have a hearing* on Tuesday, depositions on Wednesday and Thursday, a full day client meeting to prepare for his deposition the following Monday, followed my more depositions the next Wednesday and Thursday. Meanwhile, DH is out of town until Wednesday night--and PS has a play Wednesday night.
Two different named partners have had me on two different monster memos for the last week and a half, so I haven't had time to prepare for anything coming up in the next two weeks.
And yesterday I started working on an MSJ and Shepardizing a recent MSJ on the same topic when I found that the state supreme court issued an opinion last week that overturned existing law and completely obliterated the affirmative defense that was the basis of my MSJ. This case is specific to the industry in which 99% of my firm's practice is based and has significant ramifications for most of our clients. So I took it upon myself to brief the opinion and send it out to all of my partners.
Do I get a "Wow, thanks LC. It's a good thing you told us about this case cuz its pretty important to our clients." Um, no (because I don't live in a fairy tale world where partners actually say thank you). I get, "Did you add this memo to our research database? What search terms did you use? (Economic loss because its about the economic loss rule, duh!) You know it's important to guess which search terms other people might use and not just enter the terms that come logically to you. (So, I'm supposed to use my Spidey-sense to know what random ass search term you are going to enter when you are looking for that supreme court case on the economic loss rule?)" I was fine without a thank you, but that conversation irritated me.
And then I got, "By the way, please send me the contact information for all of the attorneys who handled that case." That REALLY irritated me. Because a secretary totally couldn't do that, right? It took an enormous amount of self-control not to pop off with a smart ass comment that probably would have gotten me fired.
Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive because I'm stressed. I've been on the verge of tears a lot lately. That's not really my thing. I definitely need more control over my life.
*And by hearing, I mean a trial on appeal from an administrative decision. So I have to put on witnesses and introduce evidence and pick a jury. I have a pending motion for continuance, but the court hasn't ruled yet.
Listamania: These are a few of my favorite things
No, I'm not naming my husband and kids--we already know they are my favorite things. This list is a little more shallow than that.
1) 80's sitcoms. My fave's are Growing Pains, Who's the Boss and Family Ties. I think those are indicative of my crappy childhood and the fact that I loved watching the idyllic perfect families. (Although, oddly, the Cosby Show was never one of my faves). Other favorites are Facts of Life and Golden Girls. My freshman year of college all of my dormmates used to watch Golden Girls and Designing Women every night.
2) My new super comfy blanket from Costco. I'm not sure DH loves it, though, since I won't share with him.
3) Cinnamon Roll Cake. Seriously the best cake I have ever made.
4) Margaritas. Pretty much the only cocktail I ever order.
5) Fantastic shoes. I have a boring, conservative work wardrobe, but I love spicing it up with great shoes.
6) Traveling. We never took vacations as a kid, and I love getting to explore new places and the extra time with my family.
7) Snuggling on the couch with my cozy blanket and a good book on a dreary day.
1) 80's sitcoms. My fave's are Growing Pains, Who's the Boss and Family Ties. I think those are indicative of my crappy childhood and the fact that I loved watching the idyllic perfect families. (Although, oddly, the Cosby Show was never one of my faves). Other favorites are Facts of Life and Golden Girls. My freshman year of college all of my dormmates used to watch Golden Girls and Designing Women every night.
2) My new super comfy blanket from Costco. I'm not sure DH loves it, though, since I won't share with him.
3) Cinnamon Roll Cake. Seriously the best cake I have ever made.
4) Margaritas. Pretty much the only cocktail I ever order.
5) Fantastic shoes. I have a boring, conservative work wardrobe, but I love spicing it up with great shoes.
6) Traveling. We never took vacations as a kid, and I love getting to explore new places and the extra time with my family.
7) Snuggling on the couch with my cozy blanket and a good book on a dreary day.
10/31/11
10/27/11
Listamania: Rules for Life
1) Always be nice to everyone. Especially the people who seem to need it the most. You never know what someone else is going through.
2) Always convert to pdf, unless you are making a conscientious decision not to. It just makes life easier on everybody.
3) If you have to qualify your statement(e.g. not to be rude, but...) you probably need to rethink whether that statement really needs to be made.
4) Never let a man hit you. The first time should be the last time.
5) Never depend on a man to take care of you. Be able to take care of yourself. (This one came from my 80 year old great-grandmother when I was in high school.)
2) Always convert to pdf, unless you are making a conscientious decision not to. It just makes life easier on everybody.
3) If you have to qualify your statement(e.g. not to be rude, but...) you probably need to rethink whether that statement really needs to be made.
4) Never let a man hit you. The first time should be the last time.
5) Never depend on a man to take care of you. Be able to take care of yourself. (This one came from my 80 year old great-grandmother when I was in high school.)
The Most Dreaded Word an Associate Can Hear from a Partner
"I know there's a case..."
And thus begins the chase for the ethereal case that may or may not actually exist and definitely will not exist in the jurisdiction that the partner is certain it hails from.
And thus begins the chase for the ethereal case that may or may not actually exist and definitely will not exist in the jurisdiction that the partner is certain it hails from.
10/24/11
Oh boy
Thank goodness I had a nice, relaxing weekend to prepare for today.
My day started with an emergency research project that I was happy to get. I like research and haven't done much lately.
And then my mother's doctor's office called to let us know that her surgery is indefinitely postponed because the custom implant that is being made for her is not ready yet. What??? Nobody told us this two weeks ago when you scheduled her surgery and then sent us to the hospital for pre-admission where they dropped her and broke her femur. (It turned out that the fracture was not a cause to delay the surgery, but she had a urinary tract infection that delayed it for a week-or so we thought.) Apparently there is a backlog on custom hip implants right now, and hers was especially complicated.
It could be another month before the implant is ready. Which means another month in rehab. And it also puts the scheduling of the next surgery in a very hairy time for me. I have about a zillion depositions and a couple of hearings in November. And my firm has a huge trial starting January 3rd--I'm not on that trial team, but because we are a small firm I am definitely feeling the effects.
And as soon as I got off the phone with the doc, I saw about 5 missed calls on my cell. Apparently SS started running a fever at school, and DH had to go get her. Looks like strep. She will be out again tomorrow, so DH and I will have to paper-scissors-rock to see who gets to stay home. But I loaded up all of my research, just in case. This week, at least, I don't have a lot going on and research projects are pretty portable.
And I talked to my brother, who is coming in down in 2 weeks when DH and I go to Vegas. This trip was planned months ago--long before my mother's surgeries. He is being sent to a convention by his employer. We decided to take advantage of the subsidized airfare and hotel and fly in the weekend before for a quick getaway. But right now this getaway is just causing more stress.
I kind of thought I would have to cancel when my mother's issues popped up--but then my brother mentioned that he was thinking of coming down that weekend. I talked him into watching my kids in exchange for gas and groceries, and it seemed too perfect not to go forward. Someone will be here if anything comes with out mother, and I still get to take my already paid for trip.
But he will have his 4 plus my 3 girls to deal with--ages 15, 14, 13(2), 10(2) and 8. The good news is that he teaches middle school, so he is used to dealing with lots of screaming teenagers--and all of out kids are pretty easy to deal with. But I may have to send him on his own trip to Vegas after that!
My day started with an emergency research project that I was happy to get. I like research and haven't done much lately.
And then my mother's doctor's office called to let us know that her surgery is indefinitely postponed because the custom implant that is being made for her is not ready yet. What??? Nobody told us this two weeks ago when you scheduled her surgery and then sent us to the hospital for pre-admission where they dropped her and broke her femur. (It turned out that the fracture was not a cause to delay the surgery, but she had a urinary tract infection that delayed it for a week-or so we thought.) Apparently there is a backlog on custom hip implants right now, and hers was especially complicated.
It could be another month before the implant is ready. Which means another month in rehab. And it also puts the scheduling of the next surgery in a very hairy time for me. I have about a zillion depositions and a couple of hearings in November. And my firm has a huge trial starting January 3rd--I'm not on that trial team, but because we are a small firm I am definitely feeling the effects.
And as soon as I got off the phone with the doc, I saw about 5 missed calls on my cell. Apparently SS started running a fever at school, and DH had to go get her. Looks like strep. She will be out again tomorrow, so DH and I will have to paper-scissors-rock to see who gets to stay home. But I loaded up all of my research, just in case. This week, at least, I don't have a lot going on and research projects are pretty portable.
And I talked to my brother, who is coming in down in 2 weeks when DH and I go to Vegas. This trip was planned months ago--long before my mother's surgeries. He is being sent to a convention by his employer. We decided to take advantage of the subsidized airfare and hotel and fly in the weekend before for a quick getaway. But right now this getaway is just causing more stress.
I kind of thought I would have to cancel when my mother's issues popped up--but then my brother mentioned that he was thinking of coming down that weekend. I talked him into watching my kids in exchange for gas and groceries, and it seemed too perfect not to go forward. Someone will be here if anything comes with out mother, and I still get to take my already paid for trip.
But he will have his 4 plus my 3 girls to deal with--ages 15, 14, 13(2), 10(2) and 8. The good news is that he teaches middle school, so he is used to dealing with lots of screaming teenagers--and all of out kids are pretty easy to deal with. But I may have to send him on his own trip to Vegas after that!
10/23/11
Nice Weekend
This was the most stress-less weekend we have had in a while, and it was nice. I feel so much more ready for Monday than I usually do.
Saturday I interviewed a housekeeper, and I plan to offer her the position as long as her references come back ok. She is already working part-time for another attorney, so she would just alternate days working for the two of us. I really liked her, and I really hope this works out. I think controlling the chaos in my house is a big step toward controlling the feeling of constant chaos in my life.
After I finished up the interview we went to the library and the pumpkin patch where we loaded up on way too many books and picked out a family of pumpkins to carve next weekend. And (bonus!) the worker there was incredulous that DH and I could be old enough to be the parents of out kids.
That evening, out former nanny came by for a visit. She left for college in the fall, and we were so sad to see her go. The kids were thrilled to see her again, and it was a really nice visit.
We ended the day watching baseball, while I sewed Girl Scout patches. 56 badges and patches, to be exact. PS said, "well, maybe now you will keep up with sewing the badges on." Thanks a lot! But I have been a slacker--we've had most of these for a long time. However, I did find it ironic that I was sewing on the twins' sewing badges. (But the badges are all circular and the invisible thread was a PITA to work with, so I don't think they could have handled it.)
Today I slept in until 9--that never, ever happens. It is almost physically impossible for me to sleep past 7. I arose to find DH and the twins sprawled out all over the living room reading books. And so I joined them, and that is where we stayed for the next couple of hours.
We eventually wandered upstairs, where I continued with the badge sewing while watching the old and new versions of Charlie/Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. We all just kind of hung out in the game room, watching movies we've all seen about a thousand times and playing on our computers. It was nice.
We totally skipped visiting my mother this weekend. She called on Friday and offered a "free pass" for the weekend. I didn't really think she meant it, and wasn't really planning on taking her up on it, but it was so nice to not have to go anywhere today.
Now I'm ready for another week.
Saturday I interviewed a housekeeper, and I plan to offer her the position as long as her references come back ok. She is already working part-time for another attorney, so she would just alternate days working for the two of us. I really liked her, and I really hope this works out. I think controlling the chaos in my house is a big step toward controlling the feeling of constant chaos in my life.
After I finished up the interview we went to the library and the pumpkin patch where we loaded up on way too many books and picked out a family of pumpkins to carve next weekend. And (bonus!) the worker there was incredulous that DH and I could be old enough to be the parents of out kids.
That evening, out former nanny came by for a visit. She left for college in the fall, and we were so sad to see her go. The kids were thrilled to see her again, and it was a really nice visit.
We ended the day watching baseball, while I sewed Girl Scout patches. 56 badges and patches, to be exact. PS said, "well, maybe now you will keep up with sewing the badges on." Thanks a lot! But I have been a slacker--we've had most of these for a long time. However, I did find it ironic that I was sewing on the twins' sewing badges. (But the badges are all circular and the invisible thread was a PITA to work with, so I don't think they could have handled it.)
Today I slept in until 9--that never, ever happens. It is almost physically impossible for me to sleep past 7. I arose to find DH and the twins sprawled out all over the living room reading books. And so I joined them, and that is where we stayed for the next couple of hours.
We eventually wandered upstairs, where I continued with the badge sewing while watching the old and new versions of Charlie/Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. We all just kind of hung out in the game room, watching movies we've all seen about a thousand times and playing on our computers. It was nice.
We totally skipped visiting my mother this weekend. She called on Friday and offered a "free pass" for the weekend. I didn't really think she meant it, and wasn't really planning on taking her up on it, but it was so nice to not have to go anywhere today.
Now I'm ready for another week.
10/19/11
Lawyer Happiness
I spent all morning in a difficult, technical deposition of a professional expert. The expert is an engineer and the questions involved complex mathematical concepts well-beyond my remedial math capabilities. I insisted that my client, also an engineer, be present for this deposition so that he could assist if the deponent got too technical with his answers. Which also means that the client was present to critique my skill as a lawyer and my understanding of these technical concepts.
So it really made my day when I got home and found an email from my client telling me that I did a great job today. Compliments are few and far between from paying clients, and this one in particular is the curmudgeonly sort. Plus, when he hired me he told me that he was deciding between our firm and another lawyer who is also an engineer. I assured him that even though I wasn't an engineer I could handle the job, and it was nice to be able to prove it.
So it really made my day when I got home and found an email from my client telling me that I did a great job today. Compliments are few and far between from paying clients, and this one in particular is the curmudgeonly sort. Plus, when he hired me he told me that he was deciding between our firm and another lawyer who is also an engineer. I assured him that even though I wasn't an engineer I could handle the job, and it was nice to be able to prove it.
10/13/11
Seriously???
My mother is still wheelchair bound and still in rehab. She cannot stand at all. The only way she can transfer from her bed to the wheelchair is by sliding on a board. Getting her from one place to another is no easy task. Neither are bathroom activities. There is no way that someone who is not properly trained can move her at all.
Yesterday I accompanied my mother to visit her doctor for a check up and to schedule her surgery. Of course, they wanted to take a take an x-ray. It was a major ordeal that took three nurses to move her from the wheelchair to the x-ray table and back again.
The x-ray revealed that the temporary spacer was out of socket. This seemed like not a good thing, but the PA didn't seem too concerned since it was only a temporary part and she wasn't supposed to be putting weight on it anyway.
So we scheduled her surgery for next Tuesday, which made us both happy. (Yes, she is driving me crazy, but that's another post.) She should be able to go home a couple of weeks after the surgery.
Today we went to the hospital for pre-registration and to get her labs done. One of the labs ordered was a urinalysis. This presented a problem, because she cannot transfer from her wheelchair to a toilet. I asked if the urinalysis was really necessary. The nurse called the doctor's office, which confirmed that they needed the urinalysis. The nurses discussed how they were going to get this sample. A catheter was discussed, but they didn't have an order for a catheter. So they asked my mother if she thought she could transfer onto a toilet with help. She said she would rather try that than a catheter.
And so the two nurses carried her into another room, and I waited right outside. After a few minutes I heard her scream. And a couple minutes later they brought her out crying. She said that they had shifted all of her weight onto her bad leg and that it really hurt. I had no doubt that it hurt since the hip wasn't in the socket. But they were done with her, so I took her outside to be picked up by the transport service. She seemed ok by the time she left, and I headed on to the office.
She called a couple of hours later in tears, saying that the pain was excruciating and the nurse at the rehab facility wanted to talk to me. The nurse asked me to come in and sign a statement about what happened at the hospital. I refused--it was clear they were in CYA mode, and I felt no obligation to help them--particularly since she was in their care when her hip was knocked out of socket.
She called again mid-afternoon to tell me her pain meds had kicked in and she was feeling better. But the rehab facility had done x-rays and her femur is broken. WTF? I did not see this coming. I was sure the pain was because the hip was out of socket. The damn hip replacement that she is supposed to have installed on Tuesday is attached to the femur!!! I have no idea what this means for her surgery. Of course, the rehab facility couldn't reach her doctor by the time they figured all of this out, but they are going to try to get her an appointment first thing in the morning.
And , of course, she is looking to me for answers. But I told her that if I go lawyer on the doctor and hospital there is no way they're going to touch her again, and she really needs this surgery. Her doctor is supposed to be the best in this area at this specialized hip replacement--that's why she's here, she couldn't find anybody in Hometown who would do the surgery.
I'm not sure how to proceed at this point. First, I want to hear from her doctor. But if her surgery is delayed, I think the hospital sure as hell needs to be picking up the tab for the extra days in rehab. With some mental anguish thrown in. And I think the doctor bears some responsibility for demanding a probably unnecessary test without properly considering her mobility issues.
I guess we'll just see what tomorrow brings. But I'm anticipating that the surgeon won't do the hip replacement until the femur heals, which could mean several extra weeks in rehab. We might be needing a plaintiff's lawyer--although with the tort reform laws in my state, it's hard to find someone who will take a med mal case.
Yesterday I accompanied my mother to visit her doctor for a check up and to schedule her surgery. Of course, they wanted to take a take an x-ray. It was a major ordeal that took three nurses to move her from the wheelchair to the x-ray table and back again.
The x-ray revealed that the temporary spacer was out of socket. This seemed like not a good thing, but the PA didn't seem too concerned since it was only a temporary part and she wasn't supposed to be putting weight on it anyway.
So we scheduled her surgery for next Tuesday, which made us both happy. (Yes, she is driving me crazy, but that's another post.) She should be able to go home a couple of weeks after the surgery.
Today we went to the hospital for pre-registration and to get her labs done. One of the labs ordered was a urinalysis. This presented a problem, because she cannot transfer from her wheelchair to a toilet. I asked if the urinalysis was really necessary. The nurse called the doctor's office, which confirmed that they needed the urinalysis. The nurses discussed how they were going to get this sample. A catheter was discussed, but they didn't have an order for a catheter. So they asked my mother if she thought she could transfer onto a toilet with help. She said she would rather try that than a catheter.
And so the two nurses carried her into another room, and I waited right outside. After a few minutes I heard her scream. And a couple minutes later they brought her out crying. She said that they had shifted all of her weight onto her bad leg and that it really hurt. I had no doubt that it hurt since the hip wasn't in the socket. But they were done with her, so I took her outside to be picked up by the transport service. She seemed ok by the time she left, and I headed on to the office.
She called a couple of hours later in tears, saying that the pain was excruciating and the nurse at the rehab facility wanted to talk to me. The nurse asked me to come in and sign a statement about what happened at the hospital. I refused--it was clear they were in CYA mode, and I felt no obligation to help them--particularly since she was in their care when her hip was knocked out of socket.
She called again mid-afternoon to tell me her pain meds had kicked in and she was feeling better. But the rehab facility had done x-rays and her femur is broken. WTF? I did not see this coming. I was sure the pain was because the hip was out of socket. The damn hip replacement that she is supposed to have installed on Tuesday is attached to the femur!!! I have no idea what this means for her surgery. Of course, the rehab facility couldn't reach her doctor by the time they figured all of this out, but they are going to try to get her an appointment first thing in the morning.
And , of course, she is looking to me for answers. But I told her that if I go lawyer on the doctor and hospital there is no way they're going to touch her again, and she really needs this surgery. Her doctor is supposed to be the best in this area at this specialized hip replacement--that's why she's here, she couldn't find anybody in Hometown who would do the surgery.
I'm not sure how to proceed at this point. First, I want to hear from her doctor. But if her surgery is delayed, I think the hospital sure as hell needs to be picking up the tab for the extra days in rehab. With some mental anguish thrown in. And I think the doctor bears some responsibility for demanding a probably unnecessary test without properly considering her mobility issues.
I guess we'll just see what tomorrow brings. But I'm anticipating that the surgeon won't do the hip replacement until the femur heals, which could mean several extra weeks in rehab. We might be needing a plaintiff's lawyer--although with the tort reform laws in my state, it's hard to find someone who will take a med mal case.
Listamania: Things that irritate me
1) Smokers. Especially those who throw their butts out their car windows. And the ones who smoke in the car with their kids. And the ones who smoke in places that force me to walk through their cloud of carcinogens to get wherever I am going.
2) Left Lane Squatters. The left lane is for passing. If you're not passing anybody, get the Hell out of the way.
3) Able-bodied people who take the elevator up one level. Really, you probably need the exercise anyway.
4) Able-bodied people who block the flow of traffic in a parking lot so that they can park 10 feet from the door. See No. 3, above.
5) Costco. I love Costco, but the fact that you have to have a card to get into their super-secret club is stupid. And when you go to check out and they ask you if you have your card. What the hell do they think? I had to have the damn card to get in the damn door. And when receipt checker comments on the things in my cart. What if I have something embarrassing in there? I would really prefer she act ambivalent about what's in my cart. Today, the receipt-checker felt up the super-soft blanket that I bought. Don't feel up my blankie--it's creepy!
2) Left Lane Squatters. The left lane is for passing. If you're not passing anybody, get the Hell out of the way.
3) Able-bodied people who take the elevator up one level. Really, you probably need the exercise anyway.
4) Able-bodied people who block the flow of traffic in a parking lot so that they can park 10 feet from the door. See No. 3, above.
5) Costco. I love Costco, but the fact that you have to have a card to get into their super-secret club is stupid. And when you go to check out and they ask you if you have your card. What the hell do they think? I had to have the damn card to get in the damn door. And when receipt checker comments on the things in my cart. What if I have something embarrassing in there? I would really prefer she act ambivalent about what's in my cart. Today, the receipt-checker felt up the super-soft blanket that I bought. Don't feel up my blankie--it's creepy!
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