Life With Teenagers

Can't live with them, can't kill them.

For years I have waited for each of my kids to find her "thing."  The one thing she is really willing to dedicate herself to and work hard hard to excel at.  My kids aren't athletic, so there was never much hope there.  But we've offered a host of lessons and classes so that they could explore and figure out what they are best at and enjoy the most.

For PS that this is art.  She's always been a pretty good artist, but she very much just wants to do her own thing.  When she started high school I pushed very hard for her to take art just so that she would have an easy class to balance out a tough schedule.  She reluctantly agreed (only after she was cut from the soccer team), and then she loved it and really grew as an artist.  And so we supported her and bought her all of the quality art supplies that she wanted.  Outside of class, she taught herself digital art, and we made sure she has all of the equipment and software she needs for that, too.

She decided that she wants to be an animator and go to art school.  And we have been supportive of her goals.  But she will not help herself work on her goals.  She will only draw what she wants.  It started out as manga characters, and then moved on to photorealistic comic-book type characters.  Mostly scantily-clad girls.  And they are really good.  But that is all.she.draws.

I tried to tell her that she needs to expand her portfolio if she wants to go to art school. Her response was "I'm working at perfecting eyes and noses right now.  I don't want to do anything else until I have the face perfected."  And an implied "what do you know about going to art school?"

Her eyes and noses are great.  But she's not getting into art school drawing only eyes and noses. So I told her that I wanted her to research portfolio requirements for 5 schools.  She did--but she's still drawing the girls.

And then we got an catalog for a summer programs for high school students at a well-regarded art school.  I begged her to look at it or research other summer art programs.  And she won't freaking do it.  I said," fine, you're going to this one if you don't come up with anything else."  She needs to work on being more independent and she needs to learn about the importance of building a portfolio from someone besides me. 

She doesn't want to go.  She says that she doesn't want someone "cramming down her throat" what she has to draw.  That would be fine if she just wanted to draw as a hobby.  But if that's what she wants to do for a career, she's going to have to draw what she gets paid to draw. (She says she doesn't like drawing animals.  But she wants to be a Pixar Animator.  Hellooooo?  There are animals or non-human creatures in every freaking Pixar movie!)

I loved summer camps when I was a kid--I got away from my crazy dysfunctional family life.  And it was fun.  My best memories are from band camp (yes, I was a nerd, but I was surrounded by other nerds there). I'm certain that she will have fun hanging out with other brooding artists, but it feels wrong to force her into it. I think she's just afraid of going somewhere she doesn't know anybody.

There are so many kids who would kill to go to a fancy art camp and who won't have that opportunity.  It just kills me that she doesn't care--particularly when art is the path that she is choosing and I just want to help her succeed.  Believe me, if I got to control her life, I'd push for a career in engineering, not art.

This Is A Poor Pitiful Me Post

I turned 39 earlier this year, and I have never felt more my age. I don't like it one bit.  A few months ago I went to the doc because it felt like I had PMS every two weeks. I think I'm perimenopausal (although I really shouldn't be old enough for that), but since I had an ablation, the most tell take sign isn't there.  But the bitchiness, bloating and boob soreness was constant., so the doc put me on the pill, which does seem to have regulated things.

But I cannot freaking get rid of the handful of pounds that I gained due to holiday excess and carby winter comfort foods.  I think it's because of the pill and it is so freaking frustrating.

And then there are the stupid floaters.  The retina specialist didn't find any signs of a retinal tear, but he did say I have an unusually high number of floaters for someone my age.  Yay me!

And then there is my skin.  I had nearly-perfect skin as a teenager, and I guess I get to pay for that now.  The skin around my nose flakes constantly, despite trying every moisturizer on the planet. And my nose is constantly red.  Between the redness and the flakiness, I constantly look drunk or like I've been snorting coke. I figured the redness was rosacea, but I didn't know what the flaking was about.  I finally saw a dermatologist (who I loved!) who confirmed my rosacea Google diagnosis and said the flaking was sebhorrheic dermatitis. He gave me a huge bag of samples and a handful of prescriptions (which he told me not to fill if they were super expensive because he could prescribe something else--what doctor does that?) and sent me on my way.  And the samples are working!  I texted DH the other day so excited because I checked the mirror in the middle of the day and my nose was normal skin color and I didn't looked sauced.  Woot!

But geez, with my pill and cream cocktail every morning I feel about 80, not pushing 40.

So, since the twins randomly decided they were going to take tennis at school this semester, I signed myself up for lessons with their private instructor so that we can all play together (none of us have ever played before). I am so nonathletic and was a bit nervous about starting a new sport, but my instructor is so peppy and encouraging and all around awesome.  I love tennis, and I'm getting a great workout.

I'm also trying to start working yoga back into my day (it was a great way to stretch out after fencing, which is on hold until the end of robotics season) and to start up evening walks now that it is finally warming up a bit. And I've cut back on all the carby goodness. But my stupid waistline is not budging.  Grrrr.