This is so true

Found at http://www.someecards.com/.

So now they want me

I got a totally random, unsolicited call from a (reputable) headhunter today. Apparently they had a position that they wanted me to apply for. So after all those long months of looking for a job, now they are coming to me. I declined.

Need a post-vacation vacation

I flew in Sunday night and got home around 10:00 pm. I was at work by 8:30 the next morning. DH and the girls drove in Monday and got home about 5:00 pm. Because the fence had blown over, we had to figure out what to do with Bob until we can repair the fence next weekend. So we went and bought a giant dog kennel and were outside until 11:00 pm assembling it. Meanwhile the house is a disaster from unpacking everything.

Tonight I get home about 8:00 pm. DH then realizes that 1) he has a nail in his tire; and 2) he is missing two lug nuts; which leads to 3) one of the lug bolts is sheared off and must be completely replaced. DH's blue collar roots compel him to attempt all car repairs himself. But I convinced him that given this issue's intimate connection with the brake system that it was perhaps better suited for a professional. And he couldn't get the sheared bolt out.

Oh, and my suburban has a spare tire on right now, because we noticed a nail in it right before we were heading home from vacation , so that vehicle needs a tire repair, too.

And Bob the Superdog managed to escape from the kennel that we built last night, so DH had to try to fix that while waiting for me to get home.

Sometimes I feel like I am living in a sitcom.

Back from my vacation to 1957

And I have sunburns in weird places--like my hands and my earlobes (but not the tops of my ears where I actually put sunscreen.)

There were 15 of us in a 3 b/r cabin, 7 of whom were children ranging from 2 months to 9 years. MIL & FIL for one b/r and the couple with the baby got the other. That left the rest of us in a dorm-style loft sleeping in singles. I don't think I have slept in the same room with other adults since I was in college.

I generally get along well with the inlaws, but it was a little too much togetherness. I finally lost my cool when I realized that the men were completely taking advantage of the women-folk. By the third day I had not seen a man wash a single dish or prepare a meal. I hadn't even seen the father of the infant hold his baby, much less feed or change it. The third morning I encouraged DH to go fishing alone with his dad and the other guys. He had been dealing with the girls and their poles the entire time which made it tough for him to relax and actually get to fish. I had absolutely no problem watching the kids for the morning while the guys went out to fish in peace. We planned to meet up with them around lunch-time and grill out at the park where they were fishing.

So lunchtime arrived and we crammed all of the girls and children into my suburban and drove over to meet the guys. My SILs walked over to their husbands while I waited with the kids. When they returned they informed me that the guys wanted us to come back and get them once we had the grill going and lunch was about ready.

WTF? They couldn't reel in their damn poles and come help with either the kids or the lunch. I expressed my unhappiness with the guys treating them like their servants and not doing anything, but apparently the other women didn't agree with my POV. (One SIL even cleaned her DH's fish for him!)

Once we parked, I headed up the hill to have a little chat with DH. I was pretty sure he wasn't the one pulling that crap, but I needed to bitch someone out. One BIL overheard and hauled ass back to the campsite to help out. The others were oblivious.

Overall I was truly stunned at the way one SIL allows her husband to treat her. She waits on him hand and foot. Oh, and the kicker--she is a professional who probably makes 2 to 3 times what her husband makes. It will be interesting to see if things have changed a year from now when she is balancing life as a working mom. (She is the one with the 2 month old, first child, and her maternity leave ends next week.)

Despite the offenses to my feminist sensibilities, it was a nice trip. The area we were in was absolutely gorgeous. There was so much to do and so much history there. And I got to go whitewater rafting for the first time. I have always wanted to go and it was so much fun and a great way to view the scenery.

Vacation

We're taking off on Wednesday to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with all of my in-laws. The cabin is about a 15-hour drive from our house, but Hometown is a half-way point so we will stop there overnight. DH is getting stuck doing the first and last leg of the trip with the girls while I fly in to Hometown so that I can work Wednesday and Monday. It would be nice if we could all fly, but we really need the Suburban to haul all our crap.

Of course, we are totally not prepared. I told the girls to start packing, but I haven't checked what they have put together. I haven't done anything to get my own stuff packed and don't even know what laundry needs to be done.

And then there is all the critters. A neighbor has volunteered to take care of the kittens. (They are doing great, starting to open their eyes and so freakin' cute.) We are boarding Bob. We got an extended feeder for the fish. But the guinea pig-we forgot about the guinea pig. So tomorrow I will be scrambling to find someone to watch the guinea pig. Ack.

And of course I am trying to pack an entire week's work into 3 days. I didn't get home until 9:30 tonight--which didn't help with my packing situation. I have spent three days trying to figure out the million dollar question--literally. My research is directly related to whether my client has $1 mil potential liability or $2 mil potential liability. I think I finally found the definitive answer today, but it took forever and now I am behind on everything.

I should really try to get something done tonight, but really, I just want to go to bed. But if I don't do anything tonight, I have to do it all tomorrow. Wednesday I head straight to the airport from work. This is going to be a long short week.

What's that about nice girls?

Many of us read Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office a while back. One of the suggestions was Don't Feed People. So that immediately came to mind when I entered the kitchen this morning and saw a huge box of cookies and a note from the new (first-year female) associate saying, "I look forward to working with all of you."

Did she just commit corner-office suicide?

I think not. First, they were bakery cookies, not homemade. I think that was a smart move--you don't want to look too housewifey. Second, I think it probably sent a positive signal to the staff that she is a nice person. It's always good to get off on the right foot with the people who can really save your neck. And I think the attorneys--the ones who will actually determine whether she ever gets a corner office--probably didn't even notice. Or just enjoyed their yummy cookies if they did.

A lawyer's thoughts on lawyers

I have been dealing with opposing counsel who is a real PITA. After three extensions, he wouldn't respond to discovery requests until we filed a motion to compel. Then he dumped 10,000 unidentified documents on us. (Be careful what you wish for - we took this case over from original counsel who had drafted very broad RFPs) Then we informed him that his production was not in conformity with the rules, so he produced a 165 page document purportedly ID'ing the documents. We have made numerous attempts to contact him to schedule a deposition and he will not respond. On Friday I guess I will notice the depo without his input and then probably have to file another motion to compel to actually get his client to attend.

This guy is coming off as totally unprofessional. Nothing about this case should require this much contentiousness. I don't know if he doesn't have his act together or if he is just generally an asshole.

Another opposing counsel called today with a rather mundane question. But I could hear her typing every time I said a word. She does this every freaking time she calls--its like she is recording everything I say. Then, because she is typing, she can't formulate her next question, so I am stuck waiting on her to type my answers and figure out what she is going to say next. Highly irritating.

Finally, I sent an email to a co-defendant's counsel. He responded within 10 minutes, answered my question and offered to send me the docs I needed when I didn't even have to ask. Even though we are on the same side of litigation, it is very possible that our clients may have claims against one another. Yet he was professional and courteous. Attorney #1 needs to take lessons from this guy.

In cae you were wondering...

The mama cat is nursing her babies. Maybe she is not feral, because she is letting us approach her now. We left out cat food, but she didn't eat all day, so PS and DH were able to hand fed her some of the kitten formula and some lunch meat. Not ideal, but nursing moms need to stay nourished. We are also trying to supplement the babies in case mom isn't making enough milk. We are thrilled that all of the babies have survived so far.

I talked to the lady who ran the cat shelter that we fostered for. Her shelter is now defunct, but she said that she could give us any supplies that we needed and help us find homes when they are weaned. She also has a cost efficient resourced for having them neutered.

So, if anybody out there wants a kitten, I have 6 and I'd be happy to overnight one (or two or three) to you!

Our Grand Plan

We noticed the mama cat wandering around and decided that it would be best for her to take care of her babies. Except that we think she is feral, and we didn't want her to just come and take the babies, because we didn't know where she would take them and we didn't want the babies to die in the cool weather and rain.

A neighbor came by and tried to bait the mama with one of the kittens. The mama cat was getting pretty close when another neighbor drove up. After that it was clear that the mama cat was not going to come to us.

So the next great idea was to put the kittens (and some food) right by the front door, wait for the mama cat to approach and then slam the front door, trapping her inside. Yeah, that's right--my brilliant plan was to trap a feral cat inside my house. And it actually worked--although we had to wait for over an hour.

The mama cat dashed in and made a grab for one of the babies, and DH managed to shut the door. Of course she freaked once she realized she was trapped and jumped up on the table in my entry, knocking everything (mostly picture frames) to the ground. After a couple of frantic zips around the house she has hid beneath a chair.

Meanwhile we have relocated the kittens, food and a litter box (thankfully leftover from when we were fostering a few months ago) to the powder room where we have locked her in for the night.

If you are questioning my intelligence right now, yeah, so am I. Clearly I have no experience in this department. No, I don't know what I'm going to do with the mama cat tomorrow. But hopefully she will feed her babies tonight. I contacted the lady who ran the cat rescue that we used to foster for, and she said that only 50% of the abandoned kittens that she has had survive.

If you wish hard enough, sometimes your dreams do come true

PS is obsessed with cats. She talks all the time about getting a cat. She has cat posters all over her room. When we went to the library this week, she got books all about cats. So she pretty much thought it was Christmas morning when one of the neighbors knocked on the door to tell us that something was screaming in our flowerbeds. Turns out that something was a litter of kittens. It was pouring rain and they were getting soaked. They don't even have their eyes open, and look to be only a day or two old.

I have no idea what to do with a litter of kittens. I bought kitten formula and a bottle, but they won't take it. I'm terrified that they are going to die and that I will have to explain the circle of life to the kids. Besides the fact that keeping little little girls away from tiny kittens is almost impossible. Even if we get them to feed, I'm afraid my girls might love them to death.

It's always something around here.

Summer has officially begun

Today was the last day of school so I took the day off to attend their awards assemblies and so that I could bring them home afterward. I always feel so badly for the 3 or 4 kids who are left at the end of the day just before the breaks.

But I have to say that I was shocked at all the parents bringing gifts and flowers to their kids. Has completing an elementary school grade become that big of a deal? These weren't even the 6th graders who would be moving on. One of the twins' first-grade classmates was gifted with a Webkinz and another with a huge bouquet of flowers. I suppose that it is possible that these kids accomplished something really great, like making the honor roll for the first time, but my hunch is that is not the case.

I guess I'm just of the mindset that I want my children to recognize their really important accomplishments. And if we over-celebrate every mini-milestone along the way that the big ones will lose their significance. I'm proud of my girls for all finishing the year with straight A's--but I also expect nothing less of them. So they didn't get anything special from me. But we did go to lunch and eat our ice cream first. And now I think we have to get out of the hose and go find something fun do do. Here's to 3 months of "I'm bored!"

An update . . .

. . . since my secretary post continues to be a hot topic. First, for clarification, I am in a mid-sized firm. We have 15-20 attorneys and probably 25-30 support staffers.

I spoke with the office manager yesterday. I told her that I wanted to be clear on what was to be expected from my secretary and other support staff and who I should be asking to do what. I told her that I didn't want to report anyone or cause trouble, but that there were some things that my secretary seemed reluctant to do and that I wanted to make sure that I wasn't out of line in asking her to do these things.

The OM responded that the secretary is responsible for any task that I need her to do that is not billable (or personal--but I have never seen anyone give a secretary a personal task at my firm). If it is something that can be handled by the file clerks or service center, then it is her job to distribute these tasks and ensure that they are completed. But there is nothing that she is not supposed to do.

I made clear that I preferred to handle things for now, and the OM was in agreement. She said that she would step in later, if I needed her to.

At this point, my plan is to be much firmer with my secretary when asking her to do tasks and I will deal with any issues when they occur. I think that confronting her with a list of screw-ups from the last couple of weeks is just going to generate hostility. I should have called her on them immediately.

As for the evaluation--well I'm not going to say anything negative because I just don't think that's fair since I haven't said anything to her before.

Just ask LC

I am somewhat obsessed with my sitemeter reports. Mostly with seeing how people get to my site. I've had two interesting searches this week.

1) "My supervising attorney has a drinking problem and is missing problems. As a legal assistant, what should I do?"

2) "pantyhose court necessary" Which I interpret to ask whether you have to wear pantyhose to court.

Any input reader(s)?

I have no freaking clue how to answer the first. I think an attorney would be ethically obligated to report such a situation. An assistant is probably not bound by the same ethical considerations, but I still think it is an issue that must be addressed. But there is the potential for retaliation. First rule of lawyering, CYA (cover your ass). Start documenting so that you have evidence when you go forward, in case it comes down to your word against his. Then make sure you are in a position to recover if you are retaliated against.

As to the second, I think it is probably a regional thing. I am in a pretty conservative area, but it gets hotter than hell in the summer. I have always worn hose with skirt suits in court, but I never wear hose with pant suits. When I worked in the DA's office, the female attorneys always wore hose, but visiting attorneys who were in court for hearings sometimes did not. I have seen very few female litigators in the civil courts (what the heck is that about?) and I really don't remember what they wore. I hate hose and try to find the sheerest ones possible, but I just don't think I would feel appropriately dressed in court in a skirt suit without hose.