The Sister
So, I finally responded to my sister's friend request. I told her that I was glad to hear from her after all these years and that I had never contacted her before because I didn't want to create complications in her life.
She asked me not to tell my dad anything about her because she didn't want to reopen that chapter of her life. And then she said some things that made it clear that her mother has flat-out lied to her for her entire life and has vilified my father to protect her own reputation. (My dad has plenty of faults, but he was really unfairly portrayed.)
I told my sister that her mother had not been honest with her and that there was more to the story. That I would tell her what I know if she wanted me to, but that it was a conversation best had with her mom.
She asked me for the story, and I told her the truth. (There is more than what I have posted. There is no chance that my dad is her dad.) She knew it was coming, I think she just wanted verification. I also told her that I thought she had a right to find out who her bio-dad really is, but she said that she didn't think she would ever find out and that it was a taboo subject with her mother.
I just can't believe her mom thought this story would never come out.
I am glad that she contacted me. She was an important part of my life, for the short amount of time that she was in it, and if the course of events had happened at a different time in my life, I think I would have better job of keeping up with her.
The Mother
I put her on a plane on Friday, pretty much drama free. My brother visited her at home Friday afternoon and immediately texted me that it was not a good situation and that she and her husband are going to end up hurting each other.
Today she called to say "I just wanted you to know that we are doing just fine." I could mentally picture the raspberry she was blowing at me.
But she hasn't left the house since she got there. And the helper that she supposedly hired flaked out on her, but some friend of a friend might know someone who can help out.
Okey dokey. You keep living in fantasy land. I truly believe that her husband will be dead within a year if he has to serve as her primary caregiver. And I'll be stunned if she doesn't end up with more broken parts from being dropped. But I guess it's not my problem.
2/29/12
2/25/12
My life isn't all doom and gloom
Professionally, things are actually going pretty well.
At the Schmoozy Breakfast I attended a couple of weeks ago I made what looks to be a solid business contact. She is with an organization kind of like the SBA, but it targets minority-owned business that generate at least $1M/year. Most of her clients are involved in the industry that is my primary practice area. And she needs an attorney to refer clients to. Woot! I had a meeting with her and she said I was the trifecta--a woman, a minority, and the right kind of lawyer. (Although I did have to correct her on one point because I'm only hispanic by marriage. But that didn't seem to bother her.)
She wants me to be part of a panel of speakers at an upcoming event, and I will have other opportunities to give presentations to her clients. She also introduced me to the director of a related organization who would also love to have me come speak to her clients!
This is great news. My firm already has 3 canned presentations that we give regularly, and they have been encouraging me to start giving these. It's also the perfect time to give a legislative update because several laws just went into effect that my firm helped draft that pertain directly to my industry.
And in semi-related news, the director of a brand new whistleblower program for a government agency has called me twice urging my client to apply for an award under the new program. The client is an old friend who I represented pro bono after she was subpoenaed to testify for the government after she gave them a tip that brought down a ponzi scheme. (Yes this is the case where I had a smackdown with unethical defense counsel and where I got my first "no comment" in the press.)
I am stunned that the director of this program called me (twice!) and I think my client may be the very first person to receive an award under this new program!
Finally, I am helping my firm start an industry-related blog. It will be a lot of work (and I promise I will do a far better job editing my posts than I do here), but it will be one more way to get me name out there!
At the Schmoozy Breakfast I attended a couple of weeks ago I made what looks to be a solid business contact. She is with an organization kind of like the SBA, but it targets minority-owned business that generate at least $1M/year. Most of her clients are involved in the industry that is my primary practice area. And she needs an attorney to refer clients to. Woot! I had a meeting with her and she said I was the trifecta--a woman, a minority, and the right kind of lawyer. (Although I did have to correct her on one point because I'm only hispanic by marriage. But that didn't seem to bother her.)
She wants me to be part of a panel of speakers at an upcoming event, and I will have other opportunities to give presentations to her clients. She also introduced me to the director of a related organization who would also love to have me come speak to her clients!
This is great news. My firm already has 3 canned presentations that we give regularly, and they have been encouraging me to start giving these. It's also the perfect time to give a legislative update because several laws just went into effect that my firm helped draft that pertain directly to my industry.
And in semi-related news, the director of a brand new whistleblower program for a government agency has called me twice urging my client to apply for an award under the new program. The client is an old friend who I represented pro bono after she was subpoenaed to testify for the government after she gave them a tip that brought down a ponzi scheme. (Yes this is the case where I had a smackdown with unethical defense counsel and where I got my first "no comment" in the press.)
I am stunned that the director of this program called me (twice!) and I think my client may be the very first person to receive an award under this new program!
Finally, I am helping my firm start an industry-related blog. It will be a lot of work (and I promise I will do a far better job editing my posts than I do here), but it will be one more way to get me name out there!
2/23/12
Updates and Answers on My Two Jerry Springer Posts
The Sister:
I still haven't contacted her or responded to her friend request. I just have to deal with my mother first and I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
AAL is correct that my dad would be her presumptive father unless there is a paternity test or her mother signs an affidavit. I don't see how it really matters, anyway. The only way I can see that being an issue is if my father died intestate, and I can't see my brother or me contesting paternity to deny her an inheritance given the hand that she has been dealt.
But that did get me thinking that maybe her mom did sign the affidavit when they were getting divorced. I don't know the state of the law 20 years ago, but now chances are slim you could get a divorce without a support order.
And for the record, I do not support my father's actions. Biodad or not, he essentially adopted her and then just gave up on her her when she was 5. Maybe he thought that if he tried to get custod, her parentage would come out and he didn't want to fight that battle. But I can't imagine parenting a child for 5 years and then just letting that child go.
The Mother:
I pretty much ignored her yesterday because I knew if I talked to her I would say what I think and what I think right now isn't very nice. I finally called her back this morning, and she demanded, "Have you booked my flight yet? I need to know when I'm leaving." I told her that I didn't know it was my responsibility to book her flight. She has a computer and a lot more time than I do. She said, "well, I don't have my credit card number anymore." Whatever. It took me about 2 minutes to book her damn flight. At least that means she is going home on Friday. (Hopefully, I won't count on it until the plane is in the air.)
I did not go into details about her psychological state with the psychiatrist, because I just wanted her to understand the situation and I did not want her trying to diagnose me. I agree that it was grossly unprofessional to call me, and I wasn't overly friendly with her. I don't think it dawned on her until our conversation that my mother was more than the pitiful creature she presents herself as.
I pretty much just want to hide under the covers until my problems go away. But of course, life doesn't work like that. I had sick kids yesterday, and I feel like crap today. I don't know if I'm really sick or if its just stress-induced. I'm spending a couple of hours at home this morning, hoping the Tylenol will kick in. Also waiting to take PS to school. She still doesn't feel great and is supposed to run the mile in her 2nd period PE class today. I know she isn't up to running, so I'll just take her in after PE so she'll be there for the important classes.
I still haven't contacted her or responded to her friend request. I just have to deal with my mother first and I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
AAL is correct that my dad would be her presumptive father unless there is a paternity test or her mother signs an affidavit. I don't see how it really matters, anyway. The only way I can see that being an issue is if my father died intestate, and I can't see my brother or me contesting paternity to deny her an inheritance given the hand that she has been dealt.
But that did get me thinking that maybe her mom did sign the affidavit when they were getting divorced. I don't know the state of the law 20 years ago, but now chances are slim you could get a divorce without a support order.
And for the record, I do not support my father's actions. Biodad or not, he essentially adopted her and then just gave up on her her when she was 5. Maybe he thought that if he tried to get custod, her parentage would come out and he didn't want to fight that battle. But I can't imagine parenting a child for 5 years and then just letting that child go.
The Mother:
I pretty much ignored her yesterday because I knew if I talked to her I would say what I think and what I think right now isn't very nice. I finally called her back this morning, and she demanded, "Have you booked my flight yet? I need to know when I'm leaving." I told her that I didn't know it was my responsibility to book her flight. She has a computer and a lot more time than I do. She said, "well, I don't have my credit card number anymore." Whatever. It took me about 2 minutes to book her damn flight. At least that means she is going home on Friday. (Hopefully, I won't count on it until the plane is in the air.)
I did not go into details about her psychological state with the psychiatrist, because I just wanted her to understand the situation and I did not want her trying to diagnose me. I agree that it was grossly unprofessional to call me, and I wasn't overly friendly with her. I don't think it dawned on her until our conversation that my mother was more than the pitiful creature she presents herself as.
I pretty much just want to hide under the covers until my problems go away. But of course, life doesn't work like that. I had sick kids yesterday, and I feel like crap today. I don't know if I'm really sick or if its just stress-induced. I'm spending a couple of hours at home this morning, hoping the Tylenol will kick in. Also waiting to take PS to school. She still doesn't feel great and is supposed to run the mile in her 2nd period PE class today. I know she isn't up to running, so I'll just take her in after PE so she'll be there for the important classes.
2/21/12
As if there is not enough drama in my life...
I thought I posted about this history once before, but I can't find the old post so maybe I deleted it.
I am one of two children from my parents who divorced when I was 9 and my brother was 6. Both parents are now on spouse number 3 who were both acquired after I graduated from high school so they were never really "parents," but just my parents' spouses.
And then there were spouses number 2. Both parents remarried within a couple of years after the divorce, and both did a terrible job picking new spouses. My mother married a construction-worker wife-beater who didn't work more often than he did. He spent most of his time and money building toy trains in the garage. My brother and I had to run to the neighbors and call the cops multiple times because he was beating the crap out of her and threatening to kill her.
He hit me once, and I moved in with my dad. I told my mother it was him or me and she chose him.
My dad married the woman that he was cheating on my mother with before their divorce. She was nice enough, except for the fact that she was a functioning alcoholic and she was partly the cause of my parents divorce. But compared to my mom's husband, she was a peach.
After a few years, my dad and wife 2 announced that they were having a baby. I was 14 and finally getting a sister! But then my mother told us that kid was not our sister because my dad had a vasectomy right after my brother was born.
My dad never said a word and raised the child as his. Until Wife 2 ran left him. For a little while he had visitation with her. And then I went off to college. When I returned the visitations had ended and I never saw my faux- sister again. The last time I saw her was in 1993 at her 5th birthday party.
But this week I got a Facebook friend request from her. Whoa.
I have considered contacting her before, but she was young and I didn't know what her mother had told her. And I didn't want to add drama to her life. I regret losing touch with her, and my only excuse is that I was young, involved with my own changing life, and not sure how to maintain a relationship with her without hurting my dad.
My brother told me a few months ago that she had contacted him through FB. They had been chatting, but weren't "friends". Her mother told her that our dad is her dad and that he walked out on her. She thinks that my brother and I are her siblings. My dad confirmed to my brother that we are not. My brother has not shared this information with her.
I haven't accepted her friend request. I'm just not sure FB is the proper forum for us to reunite. I firmly believe that she should know the truth, and I can't believe that her mother never came clean (if for no other reason than to provide her with a medical history). This kid has never, ever done anything wrong, and I'm sure she's wondering why she was abandoned by her dad and siblings.
She's 23 now. Has kids of her own. I need to talk to her. I think she may have done worse in the parent lottery than I did. I'm just not sure I can deal with this and my mother at the same time.
I am one of two children from my parents who divorced when I was 9 and my brother was 6. Both parents are now on spouse number 3 who were both acquired after I graduated from high school so they were never really "parents," but just my parents' spouses.
And then there were spouses number 2. Both parents remarried within a couple of years after the divorce, and both did a terrible job picking new spouses. My mother married a construction-worker wife-beater who didn't work more often than he did. He spent most of his time and money building toy trains in the garage. My brother and I had to run to the neighbors and call the cops multiple times because he was beating the crap out of her and threatening to kill her.
He hit me once, and I moved in with my dad. I told my mother it was him or me and she chose him.
My dad married the woman that he was cheating on my mother with before their divorce. She was nice enough, except for the fact that she was a functioning alcoholic and she was partly the cause of my parents divorce. But compared to my mom's husband, she was a peach.
After a few years, my dad and wife 2 announced that they were having a baby. I was 14 and finally getting a sister! But then my mother told us that kid was not our sister because my dad had a vasectomy right after my brother was born.
My dad never said a word and raised the child as his. Until Wife 2 ran left him. For a little while he had visitation with her. And then I went off to college. When I returned the visitations had ended and I never saw my faux- sister again. The last time I saw her was in 1993 at her 5th birthday party.
But this week I got a Facebook friend request from her. Whoa.
I have considered contacting her before, but she was young and I didn't know what her mother had told her. And I didn't want to add drama to her life. I regret losing touch with her, and my only excuse is that I was young, involved with my own changing life, and not sure how to maintain a relationship with her without hurting my dad.
My brother told me a few months ago that she had contacted him through FB. They had been chatting, but weren't "friends". Her mother told her that our dad is her dad and that he walked out on her. She thinks that my brother and I are her siblings. My dad confirmed to my brother that we are not. My brother has not shared this information with her.
I haven't accepted her friend request. I'm just not sure FB is the proper forum for us to reunite. I firmly believe that she should know the truth, and I can't believe that her mother never came clean (if for no other reason than to provide her with a medical history). This kid has never, ever done anything wrong, and I'm sure she's wondering why she was abandoned by her dad and siblings.
She's 23 now. Has kids of her own. I need to talk to her. I think she may have done worse in the parent lottery than I did. I'm just not sure I can deal with this and my mother at the same time.
OMG, Really???
So I got a call from my mother's psychiatrist. My mother asked her to call me "because she just gets so distraught whenever she talks to you because you keep telling her that her husband can't take care of her and she needs to move into an assisted living center."
Um, yeah, I do. Because it's true. And I told the psych this. And I told her that the rest of the family is in agreement with me. But I'm the one who gets to be the bad guy and have these conversations.
And so she vents to the shrink about how heartless I am. Yes, because I live in reality. And because I ask the questions like "how are you going to get home from the airport?" and "how are you going to get back and forth to rehab" and "who is going to take care of you when your husband is in the hospital?"
Yeah, I'm the bad guy.
I am so fucking pissed off right now. She fucking tattled to her shrink? She plays the "woe is me" card with everybody--and anybody who doesn't know her well buys it because her situation is so awful. Yes, she has a chronic illness, and yes that has made her life hard. But it doesn't make her a good person. And it doesn't change the fact that long before she had a chronic illness she was a classic narcissist--her illness just gave her an excuse for it. It doesn't change the fact that she doesn't give a crap about anybody in this world except herself.
I guess the good news is that by the time I explained the real situation to the psychiatrist (with lots of "oh, she didn't tell me that"s thrown in), the psychiatrist agreed that I was right and she will try to talk to my mother about the reality of her situation.
There is a reason that I cut her out of my life before, and her stress-inducing toxicity is just about to push me over the edge. Of course she hasn't shown any degree of appreciation for all of the time I have spent at the hospital and rehab, going to her appointments, researching facilities and bringing her every damn thing she ever asked for. At Christmas she went on and on about how she wasn't doing anything for anybody because of her situation, which was fine. But then she got online and ordered my brother. I truly don't care about gifts and I don't need "stuff", but it was a smack in the face.
Um, yeah, I do. Because it's true. And I told the psych this. And I told her that the rest of the family is in agreement with me. But I'm the one who gets to be the bad guy and have these conversations.
And so she vents to the shrink about how heartless I am. Yes, because I live in reality. And because I ask the questions like "how are you going to get home from the airport?" and "how are you going to get back and forth to rehab" and "who is going to take care of you when your husband is in the hospital?"
Yeah, I'm the bad guy.
I am so fucking pissed off right now. She fucking tattled to her shrink? She plays the "woe is me" card with everybody--and anybody who doesn't know her well buys it because her situation is so awful. Yes, she has a chronic illness, and yes that has made her life hard. But it doesn't make her a good person. And it doesn't change the fact that long before she had a chronic illness she was a classic narcissist--her illness just gave her an excuse for it. It doesn't change the fact that she doesn't give a crap about anybody in this world except herself.
I guess the good news is that by the time I explained the real situation to the psychiatrist (with lots of "oh, she didn't tell me that"s thrown in), the psychiatrist agreed that I was right and she will try to talk to my mother about the reality of her situation.
There is a reason that I cut her out of my life before, and her stress-inducing toxicity is just about to push me over the edge. Of course she hasn't shown any degree of appreciation for all of the time I have spent at the hospital and rehab, going to her appointments, researching facilities and bringing her every damn thing she ever asked for. At Christmas she went on and on about how she wasn't doing anything for anybody because of her situation, which was fine. But then she got online and ordered my brother. I truly don't care about gifts and I don't need "stuff", but it was a smack in the face.
2/16/12
Arrgggghhhhh!
Yes, that is me screaming. Yes, it is because of my mother.
She is supposed to be discharged sometime next week and can finally go home. Home, home. Hometown home. (But I'm not counting on my freedom until it happens.)
She is still completely wheelchair bound. She cannot stand and pivot to transfer from the wheelchair to a car or chair. The only way she can get in and out of the wheelchair is by using a sliding board. It is exactly what it sounds like--a narrow board a couple of feet long that spreads from the wheelchair to a bed or another chair that she scoots on. One of the problems with this method is that it will only work if she is transferring to another seat that is very close in height to her wheelchair.
Both of my cars are way to high to use the sliding board.She wants me to rent a car and drive her home--which would cost twice as much and require me to lose a weekend. I said, "we're going to look into flying." Of course, she had a million excuses why flying wouldn't work because she is in a wheelchair.
But guess what? Right on the airline's website are its provisions for disabled passengers. Guess what? The airline has its own sliding boards and the flight attendants are trained to use them (I am not). They also have a tiny wheelchair that will fit down the aisle.
And so she is flying.
But yesterday she said I needed to go buy a sliding board so that I can drive her to the airport and get her in and out of the car. Ummm, no. I am not moving her in and out of the car by myself. She incurs enough injuries when medical professionals try to move her. And besides, my car is still too tall for her board. I told her that she would have to hire a transport company to take her to the airport.
She was not happy. She said "those places cost $40 per trip!" I said, "that sounds very reasonable. That's about what I had to pay for my last cab ride from the airport." She's still pissed. Because it's way more convenient for me to spend $50 renting a car just to risk dropping her than for her to pony up $40 and ensure her own safety.
And then I asked her what her plan was for getting home from the airport. She said, well, I guess I can get my friend Suzy to help Husband.
Yeah, Husband who is in the hospital right now receiving chemotherapy in anticipation of a bone marrow transplant. The Husband who before this last blast of chemo reportedly didn't have the strength of a child.
I have been banging my head against a wall trying to explain to her for the last several weeks that she needs to move into senior apartments where there is staff on site to assist her. She will not do it. She thinks that she is going to go home and her Husband is going to take care of her and their life is going back to normal. It is not. She will kill him. Literally. There is no way in hell that with his cancer and the treatments he is enduring that he can take care of her. He can't even take care of himself. But in typical narcissistic fashion, she can only think about herself. They have the means to move somewhere where people can take care of them, but they just won't do it.
I hope that once she gets there and sees him she comes to her senses. I have no way to force her to act reasonably. But I am truly worried about how her husband is going to fare. She seriously makes me want to scream.
She is supposed to be discharged sometime next week and can finally go home. Home, home. Hometown home. (But I'm not counting on my freedom until it happens.)
She is still completely wheelchair bound. She cannot stand and pivot to transfer from the wheelchair to a car or chair. The only way she can get in and out of the wheelchair is by using a sliding board. It is exactly what it sounds like--a narrow board a couple of feet long that spreads from the wheelchair to a bed or another chair that she scoots on. One of the problems with this method is that it will only work if she is transferring to another seat that is very close in height to her wheelchair.
Both of my cars are way to high to use the sliding board.She wants me to rent a car and drive her home--which would cost twice as much and require me to lose a weekend. I said, "we're going to look into flying." Of course, she had a million excuses why flying wouldn't work because she is in a wheelchair.
But guess what? Right on the airline's website are its provisions for disabled passengers. Guess what? The airline has its own sliding boards and the flight attendants are trained to use them (I am not). They also have a tiny wheelchair that will fit down the aisle.
And so she is flying.
But yesterday she said I needed to go buy a sliding board so that I can drive her to the airport and get her in and out of the car. Ummm, no. I am not moving her in and out of the car by myself. She incurs enough injuries when medical professionals try to move her. And besides, my car is still too tall for her board. I told her that she would have to hire a transport company to take her to the airport.
She was not happy. She said "those places cost $40 per trip!" I said, "that sounds very reasonable. That's about what I had to pay for my last cab ride from the airport." She's still pissed. Because it's way more convenient for me to spend $50 renting a car just to risk dropping her than for her to pony up $40 and ensure her own safety.
And then I asked her what her plan was for getting home from the airport. She said, well, I guess I can get my friend Suzy to help Husband.
Yeah, Husband who is in the hospital right now receiving chemotherapy in anticipation of a bone marrow transplant. The Husband who before this last blast of chemo reportedly didn't have the strength of a child.
I have been banging my head against a wall trying to explain to her for the last several weeks that she needs to move into senior apartments where there is staff on site to assist her. She will not do it. She thinks that she is going to go home and her Husband is going to take care of her and their life is going back to normal. It is not. She will kill him. Literally. There is no way in hell that with his cancer and the treatments he is enduring that he can take care of her. He can't even take care of himself. But in typical narcissistic fashion, she can only think about herself. They have the means to move somewhere where people can take care of them, but they just won't do it.
I hope that once she gets there and sees him she comes to her senses. I have no way to force her to act reasonably. But I am truly worried about how her husband is going to fare. She seriously makes me want to scream.
2/11/12
Another Week Goes By
So, last week was crazy. I picked up two new cases, both with limitations running early next week. That kept me busy.
My mother was moved from the hospital into rehab on Wednesday, no surgery needed. Of course, she has returned to her typical demanding self. At 7:00 on Tuesday night she called and informed me that she would need regular clothes and that I had to do her laundry for her. Apparently the rehab place that she was in before (that was supposed to be doing her laundry) packed up all of her clothes dirty!
I was working late, but TT took care of it (DH wasn't about to touch his MIL's undies). I dropped off her stuff on Wednesday, and then on Thursday she called my on my way home from work at 7:00 and informed me that it was the wrong stuff, that she needed her winter clothes and there was more to bring back. I told her that I was not going home and doing her laundry. I had a nanny interview that night and I still had work to finish up because I had to rush home for the interview (that I nearly forgot about). She whined. Oh well. I know that she had two pairs of sweat pants and two sweaters in addition to t-shirts and lighter weight clothes in the jam-packed suitcase that I had already taken her.
Meanwhile, I hired a nanny! Yay! Yes, it is the model. Fingers-crossed this all works out, because the girls really need someone who can transport them in the afternoon.
Today, PS applied to be a volunteer page at the library. (She has to perform a certain number of volunteer hours for NJHS.) She was so cute filling out the application, just like a real job! And then she had to do an interview and take an alphabetization test. Of course, she got the (volunteer) job. It certainly didn't hurt that her elementary school librarian was also working in the library that day and gave raving reviews to the volunteer coordinator.
Overall, today was a quiet and relaxing end to a crazy week. Tomorrow will be busier--Girl Scout cookies are in!
My mother was moved from the hospital into rehab on Wednesday, no surgery needed. Of course, she has returned to her typical demanding self. At 7:00 on Tuesday night she called and informed me that she would need regular clothes and that I had to do her laundry for her. Apparently the rehab place that she was in before (that was supposed to be doing her laundry) packed up all of her clothes dirty!
I was working late, but TT took care of it (DH wasn't about to touch his MIL's undies). I dropped off her stuff on Wednesday, and then on Thursday she called my on my way home from work at 7:00 and informed me that it was the wrong stuff, that she needed her winter clothes and there was more to bring back. I told her that I was not going home and doing her laundry. I had a nanny interview that night and I still had work to finish up because I had to rush home for the interview (that I nearly forgot about). She whined. Oh well. I know that she had two pairs of sweat pants and two sweaters in addition to t-shirts and lighter weight clothes in the jam-packed suitcase that I had already taken her.
Meanwhile, I hired a nanny! Yay! Yes, it is the model. Fingers-crossed this all works out, because the girls really need someone who can transport them in the afternoon.
Today, PS applied to be a volunteer page at the library. (She has to perform a certain number of volunteer hours for NJHS.) She was so cute filling out the application, just like a real job! And then she had to do an interview and take an alphabetization test. Of course, she got the (volunteer) job. It certainly didn't hurt that her elementary school librarian was also working in the library that day and gave raving reviews to the volunteer coordinator.
Overall, today was a quiet and relaxing end to a crazy week. Tomorrow will be busier--Girl Scout cookies are in!
2/5/12
Random Rambling Updates
So, my niece did great with her appendectomy and went home from the hospital the very next day. Yay!
My mother was finally moved from ICU to a regular room late Friday night. At this point we don't know what's happening next. Surgery may be off the table. The surgeon did an aspiration of her leg and the fluid didn't look infected, but we are waiting for the results of the cultures to come back. Nevertheless, she is looking at a few weeks of IV antibiotics.
This week was hectic, but fortunately work was not too bad since we settled 3 big cases last week. I billed an abysmally low number of hours because I just couldn't focus and I was taking advantage of the peace and quiet of my office to take care of personal issues. I had to attend a big schmoozefest Thursday morning, where I was seated between a state legislator and the former mayor of Big City. I really liked the legislator, not so much the former mayor. And on Friday I got a work-related call from a government bigwig that left me shocked (in a good way).
I was in bed by 9:30 both Thursday and Friday nights, but I think I have finally caught up on sleep.
The twins left for a GS camp out on Friday afternoon. We went to dinner with PS, who enjoys getting to be the only child for the weekend. We had hoped to take her to a local theater that performs melodramas where you get to cheer the hero and throw popcorn at the villain, but sadly it was sold out both Friday and Saturday nights. So last night we let her invite a friend over while DH and I went to see The Artist. I really wasn't particularly interested in seeing this movie and honestly thought it looked boring. But I loved it! It was really cute and one of the best movies I've seen in a while.
Today I might go into the office for a couple of hours to make up for my slacking earlier in the week, but not much else on the agenda.
So yay for a relaxing weekend!
My mother was finally moved from ICU to a regular room late Friday night. At this point we don't know what's happening next. Surgery may be off the table. The surgeon did an aspiration of her leg and the fluid didn't look infected, but we are waiting for the results of the cultures to come back. Nevertheless, she is looking at a few weeks of IV antibiotics.
This week was hectic, but fortunately work was not too bad since we settled 3 big cases last week. I billed an abysmally low number of hours because I just couldn't focus and I was taking advantage of the peace and quiet of my office to take care of personal issues. I had to attend a big schmoozefest Thursday morning, where I was seated between a state legislator and the former mayor of Big City. I really liked the legislator, not so much the former mayor. And on Friday I got a work-related call from a government bigwig that left me shocked (in a good way).
I was in bed by 9:30 both Thursday and Friday nights, but I think I have finally caught up on sleep.
The twins left for a GS camp out on Friday afternoon. We went to dinner with PS, who enjoys getting to be the only child for the weekend. We had hoped to take her to a local theater that performs melodramas where you get to cheer the hero and throw popcorn at the villain, but sadly it was sold out both Friday and Saturday nights. So last night we let her invite a friend over while DH and I went to see The Artist. I really wasn't particularly interested in seeing this movie and honestly thought it looked boring. But I loved it! It was really cute and one of the best movies I've seen in a while.
Today I might go into the office for a couple of hours to make up for my slacking earlier in the week, but not much else on the agenda.
So yay for a relaxing weekend!
2/4/12
The Mommy Diaries
I am having a heck of a time finding a nanny/chaos control agent this time around and I need to fill this position ASAP. I've put up an ad on my regular nanny-finder website, but I haven't had a lot of interest. This week I contacted the counselors at the two local high schools to see if they have a job board for seniors, and I've had a couple of calls but nothing looks promising.
These are the results of the interviews I have conducted so far:
Candidate 1: High school senior. She seemed very mature and responsible and was my top choice. But her mom had concerns about the liability she would assume by driving the kids around, and so she ultimately pulled out. It was probably a good thing, because I got the impression that she was trying to talk her mom into something her mom was clearly not comfortable with--which makes her seem less mature than I thought.
Candidate 2: First year college student. Zero personality. And when I asked why she wanted the job, she replied, "Because I need the money."
Candidate 3: Mom, about my age. A little rough around the edges, but she interviewed well and moved to the top of the list. Unfortunately, her background check revealed information that automatically disqualified her.
Candidate 4: High school senior. A little over-confident. When I asked about her driving record she flippantly replied, "Only one accident, a few speeding tickets, but no drinking and driving or anything."
Candidate 5: Twenty-something. No recent job history, not in school. Big gaping hole in her past. Could not "read" her (I am usually very good at reading people). Something was just off. She was obviously giving me the answers she thought I wanted to hear instead of giving me real answers.
Candidate 6: Twenty-something college student. I like her a lot. She has a minor disability that adds to her appeal. It shows that she has had to overcome adversity. And then I turned to Google for a background check. And the first thing I find is a picture of her in her underwear. It is obviously from a professional modeling shoot. And to be more specific, she is in boy shorts and a tank top. And there is another one in a sports bra and yoga pants. I actually find several modeling photos of her. She is stunning. Some of the pictures are mildly suggestive, but nothing that is actually revealing. I don't find anything concerning about her in my Google search. Her FB page is unlocked, but everything is pretty innocuous and its obvious that she dotes on her little brother. I still like her a lot, and she is now at the top of my list. But am I nuts to hire someone who I've seen modeling in her underwear? It is a bit awkward, and I'll admit that I definitely do not want DH to see these pics. But she is now at the top of the list.
I have one more interview scheduled with a high school student. But just based on our phone conversation, I think I will prefer candidate 6.
I also had one guy apply through the nanny-finder. Um, no. I don't care if it's sexism, there is no way in Hades that I'm hiring a guy.
These are the results of the interviews I have conducted so far:
Candidate 6: Twenty-something college student. I like her a lot. She has a minor disability that adds to her appeal. It shows that she has had to overcome adversity. And then I turned to Google for a background check. And the first thing I find is a picture of her in her underwear. It is obviously from a professional modeling shoot. And to be more specific, she is in boy shorts and a tank top. And there is another one in a sports bra and yoga pants. I actually find several modeling photos of her. She is stunning. Some of the pictures are mildly suggestive, but nothing that is actually revealing. I don't find anything concerning about her in my Google search. Her FB page is unlocked, but everything is pretty innocuous and its obvious that she dotes on her little brother. I still like her a lot, and she is now at the top of my list. But am I nuts to hire someone who I've seen modeling in her underwear? It is a bit awkward, and I'll admit that I definitely do not want DH to see these pics. But she is now at the top of the list.
I have one more interview scheduled with a high school student. But just based on our phone conversation, I think I will prefer candidate 6.
I also had one guy apply through the nanny-finder. Um, no. I don't care if it's sexism, there is no way in Hades that I'm hiring a guy.
2/1/12
Seriously, God?
My brother is at the hospital with my 8 year old niece who has appendicitis and is being taken to surgery. Are you freaking kidding me?
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