So I got a call from my mother's psychiatrist. My mother asked her to call me "because she just gets so distraught whenever she talks to you because you keep telling her that her husband can't take care of her and she needs to move into an assisted living center."
Um, yeah, I do. Because it's true. And I told the psych this. And I told her that the rest of the family is in agreement with me. But I'm the one who gets to be the bad guy and have these conversations.
And so she vents to the shrink about how heartless I am. Yes, because I live in reality. And because I ask the questions like "how are you going to get home from the airport?" and "how are you going to get back and forth to rehab" and "who is going to take care of you when your husband is in the hospital?"
Yeah, I'm the bad guy.
I am so fucking pissed off right now. She fucking tattled to her shrink? She plays the "woe is me" card with everybody--and anybody who doesn't know her well buys it because her situation is so awful. Yes, she has a chronic illness, and yes that has made her life hard. But it doesn't make her a good person. And it doesn't change the fact that long before she had a chronic illness she was a classic narcissist--her illness just gave her an excuse for it. It doesn't change the fact that she doesn't give a crap about anybody in this world except herself.
I guess the good news is that by the time I explained the real situation to the psychiatrist (with lots of "oh, she didn't tell me that"s thrown in), the psychiatrist agreed that I was right and she will try to talk to my mother about the reality of her situation.
There is a reason that I cut her out of my life before, and her stress-inducing toxicity is just about to push me over the edge. Of course she hasn't shown any degree of appreciation for all of the time I have spent at the hospital and rehab, going to her appointments, researching facilities and bringing her every damn thing she ever asked for. At Christmas she went on and on about how she wasn't doing anything for anybody because of her situation, which was fine. But then she got online and ordered my brother. I truly don't care about gifts and I don't need "stuff", but it was a smack in the face.