So, today's been great.
We had a 6:30 flight out this morning, which meant a 4:00 am wake-up call. I am fine with regular morning ours, but middle-of-the-night type morning hours don't go over well with me. I need my sleep to be tolerable, and in addition to my exceptionally early morning, I didn't sleep worth a darn because I was afraid of oversleeping.
But we didn't oversleep, and we made it onto the first leg of our flight with little drama. Then we had an hour+ layover. DH went in search of coffee. And stayed gone FOREVER. And they started boarding. And I was frantically texting him to get back to our gate ASAP. He made it just in the nick of time, but now instead of just 3 kids and all their carry-ons, we had 3 kids plus drinks plus carry-ons. It was fun!
We finally landed, and I was oh-so-happy to be oh-so-close to home. I called for the shuttle to our parked car. They said it would be 10-20 minutes. Sigh. Shuttle finally showed up--and it was only a minivan--and another couple jumped in front of us and took the shuttle! I made my unhappiness very well known (see above about needing sleep to be tolerable). And so we waited another 25 minutes in the rain and the cold for the shuttle to return. In the meantime I called the shuttle place office to express my dissatisfaction and was rewarded with lame excuses and a "we don't really give a crap" attitude and the knowledge that there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. We'll just chalk it up to a lesson learned--next time, just pay the extra $50 to park at the airport. My cheapness got the better of me.
Finally, finally we are back in our own vehicle, on the 40-mile ride home. And then, from nowhere, TT projectile vomits from the back of the car. She spewed everywhere--on herself and on both of her sisters. They start gagging and rolling down the windows in the freezing rain going 60 mph on the highway. I am just heading into downtown Big City. There is absolutely nowhere I can pull off, and even if I did, there would be nowhere with facilities to clean up with. We start pulling dirty t-shirts from the suitcases for her to wipe herself off with, and DH finds a plastic grocery bag for her to continue retching into.
And then she sneezed, and there was both snot and vomit everywhere.
But it all seemed to make her feel better, and within minutes she was laughing and threatening her sister with her vomit bag.
We zoomed home, PS freaking out because she was supposed to go to a party this that was already starting and that she was already going to be late to, and she was now covered in vomit. But we did get her home, and herself and her sisters cleaned up, and most of the vomit wiped out of the car, and all of our coats now needing to go to the cleaners, and a stack of vomit-covered laundry in addition to the week's worth of laundry that we just brought home.
And I went to drop off PS and DH was going to pick up Bob from the kennel. But then he called because his car wouldn't start. We knew his battery life was almost up, and it got very cold here while we were gone--apparently even in the garage. So I dropped off PS and went back for DH and we went and got Bob and returned him home, and then left again to get lunch and enough groceries to last a couple of days.
And the grocery store was a nightmare. Literally no place to park. I have never seen it so crazy--even on the day before Thanksgiving. After making several circles (and I am not a parking lot circler, I need all the exercise I can get) I finally found a remote spot. And then had to do battle through the aisles of the store, which seemed even worse than the parking lot. My grand plan was to make a big pot of chili for dinner tonight, and apparently it was everyone else's plan, too, because it was nearly impossible to break through the crowd surrounding the canned tomatoes.
Finally, finally, back home. But poor DH, had to leave again to pick up PS and go get a new car battery, because who knows what will be open tomorrow.
My plans for the evening, take a hot bath, put on my jammies, make my yummy pot of chili, finish Gone Girl (not my typical genre, but really good!) and chill until I crash, which I suspect will be long before midnight. I'm so happy to be back in my house with my bathtub and my bed!
Oh, and in case you're wondering, TT seems fine now. I think it was motion sickness.
Oh, and I apologize for my last long, rambling post. It was mostly so I would remember what we did when. And it was done on my ipad, which was not cooperating with blogger, making editing nearly impossible (I can't scroll on my ipad--anyone else have this problem?)
12/29/12
Washington Vacay Continued
Wednesday:
This was a museum day--a good thing because the weather was cold and sleeting and miserable. We took a wrong turn coming out of the metro station and spent way too long going the wrong direction in the freezing weather.
We hit the merican History Museum and part of the Natural History Museum. The crowds were insane, and we endured the first of what was to be many, many security lines on this trip. We also learned that food prices at this Smithsonians is outrageous ($60 for burgers and shared fries!)
Honestly, I was a bit underwhelmed by the museums that we saw. Maybe it was partly because the American History Museum is being removated and many of the exhibits were closed. But we have visited many good museums before, and these weren't particularly more impressive.
We were so pooped after a long day of walking that I collapsed into bed by 8:00!
Thursday:
Today we toured the Capitol and the Library of Congress. The Library of Congress is without question, the most stunning building I have ever seen. It is gorgeous. I think I could spend the whole day here, just staring at the architecture. We had arranged for a tour through our congressman, and were booked at the very end of the day. Unfortunately, our docent was very chatty and had not left the first floor more than half-way through our tour time. We were concerned about having enough time to view the other parts of the building, so we abandoned the tour and went exploring on our own like naughty children. This was probably the best decision we made all week, because we would not have had time to take in the breathtaking architecture otherwise.
The Caiptol tour was earlier in the day and brought very long security lines outside in the cold. The tourguide was good, but the tour was disappointingly short. However, the parts of the building that we were allowed to see were beautiful.
My representative had sent us gallery passes, but the House was not in session. The Senate was in session but our Senator required us to come by the office for passes. I would have loved to have Senate gallery passes, but we weren't willing to endure the long, cold security lines again, and we would have been very pressed for time with out Library of Congress passes.
Friday:
Today we hit the Air and Space Museum. It was the most dramatic of the museums we have seen. It had some really cool artifacts, but we went through that museum fairly quickly, because it duplicated a lot of what we have seen on other trips--particularly to NASA and the Naval Air Museum in Pensacola.
Afterward, the kids went back to the Natural History Museum with DH while I went to the Supreme Court. It was fantastic to sit in the courtroom. There was also a short lecture, but it was really 5th -grade level "how the court system works" Which is apparently needed, based upon the conversation of the people in line behind me who explained to their child that the Supreme Court makes the laws and who could not name the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court while we were standing in the Supreme Court! (I have no faith left in our education system--when we were viewing THE Constitution, one lady asked her kid where John Hancock's signature was, and then huffed off when I told her it was on the Declaration of Independence.)
After I met back up with the family, we headed over to the Washington Monument and viewed the White House, before trekking back to the Metro Station and heading up to the National Zoo for Zoolights. The lights were beautiful, but very few of the animal houses were open, and sadly, we have not seen the pandas.
After a very long day, we headed back to the metro and to our hotel. The kids have all now become metro -riding experts.
We thought we were done for the day, but DH really wanted to get some night shots of the Lincoln Memorial--which was only about a mile from our hotel. So we bundled up and headed out again. Unfortunately, public transportation doesn't get you close to the monuments and war memorials. We only saw the Lincoln Memorial and the Vietnam Memorial. The rest will have to wait for a spring or summer trip.
Saturday:
We were pooped from yesterday and tired of museums. We had intended to hit the Spy Museum or the Newseum. We ended up visiting the Mansion on O Street. I'm not sure how to describe this place. It's kind of a hidden, out-of the-way place near Dupont Circle. Four townhouses have been joined together to form the Mansion, which is a hotel/event space/thrift store filled with crazy rooms and secret passages with hidden doors. it is filled with junk from top to bottom, and you can buy anything there. You can also go in any room that is not closed off--I can't imagine staying in a hotel with all kinds of strangers wandering the halls. Anyway, the kids claim it was the most fun they had. The loved seeking out all of the secret doors and hidden passageways and were very disappointed when we told them it was time to leave.
We had a late lunch at Dupont Circle before heading to the National Archives. I had reserved our tour ahead of time, so we were able to go through the fairly short security line instead of the really long security line. Here we saw the Magna Carta, the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and Declaration of Independence. This is an absolute must see.
After heading back to dinner in our hotel room, we headed up M street for coffee and cupcakes in Georgetown. A pretty good way to end the day.
Overall, it's been a good trip. I think for a winter trip, we could have gone a couple of days shorter. We'd like to come back when it's warmer and we can enjoy more of the outdoor activities. And of course, there are about a million more museums we could hit.
This was a museum day--a good thing because the weather was cold and sleeting and miserable. We took a wrong turn coming out of the metro station and spent way too long going the wrong direction in the freezing weather.
We hit the merican History Museum and part of the Natural History Museum. The crowds were insane, and we endured the first of what was to be many, many security lines on this trip. We also learned that food prices at this Smithsonians is outrageous ($60 for burgers and shared fries!)
Honestly, I was a bit underwhelmed by the museums that we saw. Maybe it was partly because the American History Museum is being removated and many of the exhibits were closed. But we have visited many good museums before, and these weren't particularly more impressive.
We were so pooped after a long day of walking that I collapsed into bed by 8:00!
Thursday:
Today we toured the Capitol and the Library of Congress. The Library of Congress is without question, the most stunning building I have ever seen. It is gorgeous. I think I could spend the whole day here, just staring at the architecture. We had arranged for a tour through our congressman, and were booked at the very end of the day. Unfortunately, our docent was very chatty and had not left the first floor more than half-way through our tour time. We were concerned about having enough time to view the other parts of the building, so we abandoned the tour and went exploring on our own like naughty children. This was probably the best decision we made all week, because we would not have had time to take in the breathtaking architecture otherwise.
The Caiptol tour was earlier in the day and brought very long security lines outside in the cold. The tourguide was good, but the tour was disappointingly short. However, the parts of the building that we were allowed to see were beautiful.
My representative had sent us gallery passes, but the House was not in session. The Senate was in session but our Senator required us to come by the office for passes. I would have loved to have Senate gallery passes, but we weren't willing to endure the long, cold security lines again, and we would have been very pressed for time with out Library of Congress passes.
Friday:
Today we hit the Air and Space Museum. It was the most dramatic of the museums we have seen. It had some really cool artifacts, but we went through that museum fairly quickly, because it duplicated a lot of what we have seen on other trips--particularly to NASA and the Naval Air Museum in Pensacola.
Afterward, the kids went back to the Natural History Museum with DH while I went to the Supreme Court. It was fantastic to sit in the courtroom. There was also a short lecture, but it was really 5th -grade level "how the court system works" Which is apparently needed, based upon the conversation of the people in line behind me who explained to their child that the Supreme Court makes the laws and who could not name the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court while we were standing in the Supreme Court! (I have no faith left in our education system--when we were viewing THE Constitution, one lady asked her kid where John Hancock's signature was, and then huffed off when I told her it was on the Declaration of Independence.)
After I met back up with the family, we headed over to the Washington Monument and viewed the White House, before trekking back to the Metro Station and heading up to the National Zoo for Zoolights. The lights were beautiful, but very few of the animal houses were open, and sadly, we have not seen the pandas.
After a very long day, we headed back to the metro and to our hotel. The kids have all now become metro -riding experts.
We thought we were done for the day, but DH really wanted to get some night shots of the Lincoln Memorial--which was only about a mile from our hotel. So we bundled up and headed out again. Unfortunately, public transportation doesn't get you close to the monuments and war memorials. We only saw the Lincoln Memorial and the Vietnam Memorial. The rest will have to wait for a spring or summer trip.
Saturday:
We were pooped from yesterday and tired of museums. We had intended to hit the Spy Museum or the Newseum. We ended up visiting the Mansion on O Street. I'm not sure how to describe this place. It's kind of a hidden, out-of the-way place near Dupont Circle. Four townhouses have been joined together to form the Mansion, which is a hotel/event space/thrift store filled with crazy rooms and secret passages with hidden doors. it is filled with junk from top to bottom, and you can buy anything there. You can also go in any room that is not closed off--I can't imagine staying in a hotel with all kinds of strangers wandering the halls. Anyway, the kids claim it was the most fun they had. The loved seeking out all of the secret doors and hidden passageways and were very disappointed when we told them it was time to leave.
We had a late lunch at Dupont Circle before heading to the National Archives. I had reserved our tour ahead of time, so we were able to go through the fairly short security line instead of the really long security line. Here we saw the Magna Carta, the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and Declaration of Independence. This is an absolute must see.
After heading back to dinner in our hotel room, we headed up M street for coffee and cupcakes in Georgetown. A pretty good way to end the day.
Overall, it's been a good trip. I think for a winter trip, we could have gone a couple of days shorter. We'd like to come back when it's warmer and we can enjoy more of the outdoor activities. And of course, there are about a million more museums we could hit.
12/26/12
DC Vacay Days 1-2
We headed out to the airport early on Christmas Eve. The kids plus all their stuff was about as much fun as I expected, although, blessedly, the security line was nonexistant. We arrived in DC, one plane change later and only 15 minutes later than scheduled, on a rainy, dreary afternoon.
We were thankful to find a minivan cab right away--as we've already discovered these are not overly common in DC and we can't all fit in a sedan-style cab. There was a slight problem with our hotel reservation when we arrived, which added a bit of stress, but was easily resolved. We are staying in a suite hotel with a full kichen, so we were pleased to see a Trader Joe's directly across the street. Although I have heard much about the aweseomness of Trader Joe's, I found it to be a bit overrated. Still, we were glad to be able to stock our kitchen, knowing that everything would be closed on Christmas.
As soon as we got back, we headed out to the National Cathedral by way of bus. It was cold and wet, and we were happy that we didn't have to wait very long, although the bus ride seemed to take forever and we arrived only a few mintues before the service started. The National Cathedral is simply stunning, although I wish we could have seen more of it and we were seated so far back we really could see anything that was happening except on the monitors. We'd like to go back and do a tour, but I don't think we'll have time on this trip.
Christmas morning, the kids opened their stockings and we headed out to Mount Vernon. This will (hopefully) be our most expensive day. Tickets to Mount Vernon cost more than an other attraction we are planning to visit and it was no easy task to get there. We took the metro to the end of the line, and then started waiting on a but that apparently only ran every hour on normal days, and who knows how often on a holiday. After about a 15-minute wait, a mini-van cab showed up and we grabbed it. A $30 cab ride later, and we were there.
Mount Vernon was beautiful and interesting , but I'm not sure it was worth the hassle and expense of getting there.
Coming back, we stopped at Arlington National Cemetery. It is truly the most humbling place I have ever been, and seemed a particularly appropriate place to spend Christmas. Pictures simply don't convey the hundreds of thousands of gravestones that go on as far as the eye can see. It was especially beautiful with Christmas wreaths laid at every headstone. We visited Vicksburg a couple of years ago, which was impressive on its own, but incomparable to Arlington.
We ended our day with dinner near Dupont Circle and a brisk walk back to our hotel, where we all collapsed in exhaustion. This is a beautiful city, and I love it already. I feel like I live in a barren wasteland in comparison. Today we hit a couple of the Smithsonians. Maybe we'll see some of the monuments, if the weather cooperates, although it sounds like it is sleeting right now.
We were thankful to find a minivan cab right away--as we've already discovered these are not overly common in DC and we can't all fit in a sedan-style cab. There was a slight problem with our hotel reservation when we arrived, which added a bit of stress, but was easily resolved. We are staying in a suite hotel with a full kichen, so we were pleased to see a Trader Joe's directly across the street. Although I have heard much about the aweseomness of Trader Joe's, I found it to be a bit overrated. Still, we were glad to be able to stock our kitchen, knowing that everything would be closed on Christmas.
As soon as we got back, we headed out to the National Cathedral by way of bus. It was cold and wet, and we were happy that we didn't have to wait very long, although the bus ride seemed to take forever and we arrived only a few mintues before the service started. The National Cathedral is simply stunning, although I wish we could have seen more of it and we were seated so far back we really could see anything that was happening except on the monitors. We'd like to go back and do a tour, but I don't think we'll have time on this trip.
Christmas morning, the kids opened their stockings and we headed out to Mount Vernon. This will (hopefully) be our most expensive day. Tickets to Mount Vernon cost more than an other attraction we are planning to visit and it was no easy task to get there. We took the metro to the end of the line, and then started waiting on a but that apparently only ran every hour on normal days, and who knows how often on a holiday. After about a 15-minute wait, a mini-van cab showed up and we grabbed it. A $30 cab ride later, and we were there.
Mount Vernon was beautiful and interesting , but I'm not sure it was worth the hassle and expense of getting there.
Coming back, we stopped at Arlington National Cemetery. It is truly the most humbling place I have ever been, and seemed a particularly appropriate place to spend Christmas. Pictures simply don't convey the hundreds of thousands of gravestones that go on as far as the eye can see. It was especially beautiful with Christmas wreaths laid at every headstone. We visited Vicksburg a couple of years ago, which was impressive on its own, but incomparable to Arlington.
We ended our day with dinner near Dupont Circle and a brisk walk back to our hotel, where we all collapsed in exhaustion. This is a beautiful city, and I love it already. I feel like I live in a barren wasteland in comparison. Today we hit a couple of the Smithsonians. Maybe we'll see some of the monuments, if the weather cooperates, although it sounds like it is sleeting right now.
12/23/12
LC's Thoughts on Gun Control
First, the background:
I was raised in a gun family. Pretty much everyone in my extended family owns an extensive collection of firearms of all shapes and sizes. I own several handguns and a shotgun (I have not purchased any--they were all gifted to me). I've been shooting since I was big enough to hold the barrel straight. I've fired everything from a tiny Derringer pistol to an AR-15 (yes, that would be an assault rifle). I do not hunt--I never had the desire or stomach for it. I can't imagine ever shooting a living thing, but I enjoy target shooting.
Do I need these guns? No, not really. Because of safety measures, they are useless for home defense. My guns are all locked up. The ammo is kept separately from the guns. The keys are hidden. My children do not and will not have access to these weapons. Allowing kids (or mentally unstable adults) access to firearms is stupid, irresponsible, and potentially deadly.
Would I give them up? Yes. I guess I keep them around because I don't know where they might end up if I got rid of them.
So why are people so attached to their guns? There are people who earnestly believe the NRA party-line that an armed citizenship is the reason that our country hasn't been invaded. That if they give up their high-powered rifles, we will be invaded by China or North Korea. Frankly, I think this is total bullshit. There is no legitimate non-military purpose for assault weapons (high-powered, semi-automatic rifles). These machines are made for killing people--there is no other purpose. They don't need to be owned by individuals.
What bothers me most is that we did have an assault weapon ban that was passed along with the Brady Bill. But it was written with a sunset provision (WTF?) and was sunsetted with little fanfare a few years ago. It was sunsetted after Columbine, after we had seen similar tragedies. Why was this bill ever sunsetted? And why did nobody care when it happened? Will anybody still care about this issue a year from now?
More importantly, did the assault-weapon ban do any good? My preliminary research shows not much. But maybe the Lanzas would not have been able to purchose those guns if the prior bill hadn't been sunsetted. (I have not seen anything indicating when they were purchased.)
I absolutely think the assault weapon ban should be renewed--but I don't think it's nearly enough. I don't have an answer, but the NRA's stance disgusts me. They are refusing to give an inch. I haven't heard anybody suggest that all guns should be banned, but the NRA refuses to consider any compromise. (And why does the NRA have so much power anyway? Can our legislators please grow some balls and refuse their money?). There should be limits. There should be background checks AND registration (I have multiple guns and never had to have a background check because I didn't buy them and I don't have to register them). There shouldn't be assault rifles or high-capacity magazines (but you aren't going to get rid of the ones people already own).
In my gun-loving state they are talking about arming teachers. This is the worst idea ever. Even though I have been trained, I'm a decent shot, and I have been using guns since I was very young, I have absolutely no confidence in my ability to take down a determined, armed intruder. I don't want guns in my kids' schools. I don't want minimally trained teachers making judgment calls involving guns (yeah, the same people who sent my kids home in a tornado--I think not.) I can only see more death and destruction--either accidentally or intentionally--coming from such an idiotic proposition.
At the end of the day, I think the Newtown shooting is largely the fault of Lanza's mother. I'm not sure any legislation would have prevented those horrific murders. But she purchased those weapons (and would have been the one subject to any background checks or registration laws). She did not keep them out of reach of her mentally ill child, and she was the person with the best knowledge of his mental state. Her lack of judgment cost 26 lives. If she weren't dead, she should be criminally prosecuted.
I was raised in a gun family. Pretty much everyone in my extended family owns an extensive collection of firearms of all shapes and sizes. I own several handguns and a shotgun (I have not purchased any--they were all gifted to me). I've been shooting since I was big enough to hold the barrel straight. I've fired everything from a tiny Derringer pistol to an AR-15 (yes, that would be an assault rifle). I do not hunt--I never had the desire or stomach for it. I can't imagine ever shooting a living thing, but I enjoy target shooting.
Do I need these guns? No, not really. Because of safety measures, they are useless for home defense. My guns are all locked up. The ammo is kept separately from the guns. The keys are hidden. My children do not and will not have access to these weapons. Allowing kids (or mentally unstable adults) access to firearms is stupid, irresponsible, and potentially deadly.
Would I give them up? Yes. I guess I keep them around because I don't know where they might end up if I got rid of them.
So why are people so attached to their guns? There are people who earnestly believe the NRA party-line that an armed citizenship is the reason that our country hasn't been invaded. That if they give up their high-powered rifles, we will be invaded by China or North Korea. Frankly, I think this is total bullshit. There is no legitimate non-military purpose for assault weapons (high-powered, semi-automatic rifles). These machines are made for killing people--there is no other purpose. They don't need to be owned by individuals.
What bothers me most is that we did have an assault weapon ban that was passed along with the Brady Bill. But it was written with a sunset provision (WTF?) and was sunsetted with little fanfare a few years ago. It was sunsetted after Columbine, after we had seen similar tragedies. Why was this bill ever sunsetted? And why did nobody care when it happened? Will anybody still care about this issue a year from now?
More importantly, did the assault-weapon ban do any good? My preliminary research shows not much. But maybe the Lanzas would not have been able to purchose those guns if the prior bill hadn't been sunsetted. (I have not seen anything indicating when they were purchased.)
I absolutely think the assault weapon ban should be renewed--but I don't think it's nearly enough. I don't have an answer, but the NRA's stance disgusts me. They are refusing to give an inch. I haven't heard anybody suggest that all guns should be banned, but the NRA refuses to consider any compromise. (And why does the NRA have so much power anyway? Can our legislators please grow some balls and refuse their money?). There should be limits. There should be background checks AND registration (I have multiple guns and never had to have a background check because I didn't buy them and I don't have to register them). There shouldn't be assault rifles or high-capacity magazines (but you aren't going to get rid of the ones people already own).
In my gun-loving state they are talking about arming teachers. This is the worst idea ever. Even though I have been trained, I'm a decent shot, and I have been using guns since I was very young, I have absolutely no confidence in my ability to take down a determined, armed intruder. I don't want guns in my kids' schools. I don't want minimally trained teachers making judgment calls involving guns (yeah, the same people who sent my kids home in a tornado--I think not.) I can only see more death and destruction--either accidentally or intentionally--coming from such an idiotic proposition.
At the end of the day, I think the Newtown shooting is largely the fault of Lanza's mother. I'm not sure any legislation would have prevented those horrific murders. But she purchased those weapons (and would have been the one subject to any background checks or registration laws). She did not keep them out of reach of her mentally ill child, and she was the person with the best knowledge of his mental state. Her lack of judgment cost 26 lives. If she weren't dead, she should be criminally prosecuted.
12/21/12
Freeeeeee!
Starting today I am off through New Year's Day. This is the longest I have ever taken off, although it's only 5 working days. And it's not without some guilt...we are super busy right now (ironic since half the reason I picked next week for vacation is because litigation is typically slow in December). Still, I'm so, so happy for the down time. I've already billed substantially more this month than I have in any one of the last several months, and it will be back to the grindstone as soon as I get back.
It has been a good week professionally for both DH and me. In addition to my victory on Monday, we found out late yesterday that we (mostly) survived summary judgment in another case. We took over this case about 3 weeks ago (2.5 years old, set for trial in Feb.) I had 3 days to learn the facts and law and to draft a response, and the prior lawyers had no faith we would survive SJ. But we did--yay! And Big Boss actually called me to thank me and acknowledge that I had done most of the heavy lifting to make it happen--that kind of acknowledgement never happens!
DH and I both got our reviews this week, too, which came with very nice financial surprises. This was especially good news for DH who works for a REIT and who's income has been a bit stagnant due to the economy (and hopefully telling of a general economic upswing). Mine came with talk of partnership--which has been mentioned before, but more in passing, and surprised me a bit because I'm only a 5th year. The gist was that it was discussed this year but decided against because of economic reasons (of which I am well aware), but is certainly on the table in the near future.
Now I have three days to shop, wrap and pack. Actually, the shopping is mostly done. I'm just debating whether I'm brave enough to endure the crowds to try to find an extra pair of jeans to take along (probably not--I hate shopping and crowds, there's is a reason God gave us the internet and UPS.)
It has been a good week professionally for both DH and me. In addition to my victory on Monday, we found out late yesterday that we (mostly) survived summary judgment in another case. We took over this case about 3 weeks ago (2.5 years old, set for trial in Feb.) I had 3 days to learn the facts and law and to draft a response, and the prior lawyers had no faith we would survive SJ. But we did--yay! And Big Boss actually called me to thank me and acknowledge that I had done most of the heavy lifting to make it happen--that kind of acknowledgement never happens!
DH and I both got our reviews this week, too, which came with very nice financial surprises. This was especially good news for DH who works for a REIT and who's income has been a bit stagnant due to the economy (and hopefully telling of a general economic upswing). Mine came with talk of partnership--which has been mentioned before, but more in passing, and surprised me a bit because I'm only a 5th year. The gist was that it was discussed this year but decided against because of economic reasons (of which I am well aware), but is certainly on the table in the near future.
Now I have three days to shop, wrap and pack. Actually, the shopping is mostly done. I'm just debating whether I'm brave enough to endure the crowds to try to find an extra pair of jeans to take along (probably not--I hate shopping and crowds, there's is a reason God gave us the internet and UPS.)
12/17/12
Life and Kids and Law
Work/life craziness (there is definitely no balance these days) has continued, culminating in a day of complete insanity (ok, probably not culminating--it is wishful thinking to believe this is the end.)
I have continued working crazy hours, and the only days I have left the office at a reasonable hour recently are when I have kid stuff going on, so I still don' t get home until late.
I had a briefing deadline on Friday, but I nevertheless volunteered to haul a carload of Girl Scouts to camp. Because surely my brief had to be finalized by 3:00 and I would be a-ok to leave (I know you're thinking, yeah right...but the judge was supposed to rule Monday, so he really needed the brief Friday afternoon if we had any expectation that he would read it.). So I ran my tail off Friday, and did manage to pull it off and leave the office at 3:00.
I was so focused on my brief that I didn't hear about the horrible news in Newtown until late in the day, and mostly on the radio on the way home. I was very glad that I had chosen that day to be home early and that I was going to get to spend a bit of extra time with my girlies on the long drive to camp. I don't think its possible to be a parent and not internalize something like that.
Got the girls dropped off at camp and finally made it back home at 9:30 Friday night--physically and emotionally exhausted. (Yes, I was comfortable leaving them there. Honestly, it seems like one of the safest places they could be.)
Saturday was DH's work party--which is always a fancy cocktail-attire affair. But I've been so busy lately that I hadn't had any time to shop. So I was out shopping at 7:30 Saturday morning, desperately seeking a cocktail dress, even though all I really wanted in life was to spend the day in my jammies watching insipid Christmas movies and eating ice cream from the carton. But I did find a dress and the party was nice and I drank a lot of vodka.
Sunday morning was the second 4-hour round trip to retrieve the Girl Scouts. As soon as we got back home, I headed to the office until 8:00 to prepare for a hearing that I had today.
And then today...
I had a significant evidentiary hearing set for this afternoon. My client and key witness was flying in from half-way across the country. At 10:00 this morning the court clerk called to inform me that the judge wasn't coming in and my hearing was cancelled.
Wait..what? But my client is on a plane right at this very minute for the sole purpose of attending this hearing. I begged and pleaded for another judge to hear the case. I did not want to inform my client that his cross-country trip was for naught.
The clerk was non-committal. Maybe she could dig up an associate judge, but it was doubtful.
I called the opposing attorney to tell him the situation. He immediately thanked his lucky stars and informed me he would be objecting to an associate judge (and if he did, the hearing would not go forward).
At 11:00 I called back to check on whether another judge had been found. Got voicemail.
Finally, at 11:30 I got a call from the clerk letting me know that another judge was available--an elected judge, not an associate judge--so no objection would stop the hearing from proceeding.
Of course, by that point, I had spend my morning scrambling instead of preparing. But I was thankful my client's time would not be wasted.
So the client shows up, I brief him on the issues, and we head to court. We were supposed to have 2 hours for our hearing. Instead we were given 20 minutes smushed in the middle of someone else's hearing (and so there was a gallery-full of attorney's observing). I was flustered and my opening was wobbly, but my closing was much better. Oh, and I got the judge to change her ruling on a piece of significant evidence when I spit out a statute that neither she nor the other attorney had ever heard of. Score!
And we won! Well..mostly. There is an issue regarding one of our damages elements that the judge wants briefed. In 7 days. So, yeah, that makes my briefing deadline on Christmas Day. And I'm supposed to be on vacation starting Friday and will be in DC on Christmas and the day following (which would be the true due date). So I guess I have three days to brief this issue that I haven't researched at all and have no clue which way the law will blow. Fun! Because I have plenty of time to add another brief to my over-loaded docket full of loose ends that need to be tied before I leave on vacation. (And to think I picked this time because December is usually slow in litigation!)
I have continued working crazy hours, and the only days I have left the office at a reasonable hour recently are when I have kid stuff going on, so I still don' t get home until late.
I had a briefing deadline on Friday, but I nevertheless volunteered to haul a carload of Girl Scouts to camp. Because surely my brief had to be finalized by 3:00 and I would be a-ok to leave (I know you're thinking, yeah right...but the judge was supposed to rule Monday, so he really needed the brief Friday afternoon if we had any expectation that he would read it.). So I ran my tail off Friday, and did manage to pull it off and leave the office at 3:00.
I was so focused on my brief that I didn't hear about the horrible news in Newtown until late in the day, and mostly on the radio on the way home. I was very glad that I had chosen that day to be home early and that I was going to get to spend a bit of extra time with my girlies on the long drive to camp. I don't think its possible to be a parent and not internalize something like that.
Got the girls dropped off at camp and finally made it back home at 9:30 Friday night--physically and emotionally exhausted. (Yes, I was comfortable leaving them there. Honestly, it seems like one of the safest places they could be.)
Saturday was DH's work party--which is always a fancy cocktail-attire affair. But I've been so busy lately that I hadn't had any time to shop. So I was out shopping at 7:30 Saturday morning, desperately seeking a cocktail dress, even though all I really wanted in life was to spend the day in my jammies watching insipid Christmas movies and eating ice cream from the carton. But I did find a dress and the party was nice and I drank a lot of vodka.
Sunday morning was the second 4-hour round trip to retrieve the Girl Scouts. As soon as we got back home, I headed to the office until 8:00 to prepare for a hearing that I had today.
And then today...
I had a significant evidentiary hearing set for this afternoon. My client and key witness was flying in from half-way across the country. At 10:00 this morning the court clerk called to inform me that the judge wasn't coming in and my hearing was cancelled.
Wait..what? But my client is on a plane right at this very minute for the sole purpose of attending this hearing. I begged and pleaded for another judge to hear the case. I did not want to inform my client that his cross-country trip was for naught.
The clerk was non-committal. Maybe she could dig up an associate judge, but it was doubtful.
I called the opposing attorney to tell him the situation. He immediately thanked his lucky stars and informed me he would be objecting to an associate judge (and if he did, the hearing would not go forward).
At 11:00 I called back to check on whether another judge had been found. Got voicemail.
Finally, at 11:30 I got a call from the clerk letting me know that another judge was available--an elected judge, not an associate judge--so no objection would stop the hearing from proceeding.
Of course, by that point, I had spend my morning scrambling instead of preparing. But I was thankful my client's time would not be wasted.
So the client shows up, I brief him on the issues, and we head to court. We were supposed to have 2 hours for our hearing. Instead we were given 20 minutes smushed in the middle of someone else's hearing (and so there was a gallery-full of attorney's observing). I was flustered and my opening was wobbly, but my closing was much better. Oh, and I got the judge to change her ruling on a piece of significant evidence when I spit out a statute that neither she nor the other attorney had ever heard of. Score!
And we won! Well..mostly. There is an issue regarding one of our damages elements that the judge wants briefed. In 7 days. So, yeah, that makes my briefing deadline on Christmas Day. And I'm supposed to be on vacation starting Friday and will be in DC on Christmas and the day following (which would be the true due date). So I guess I have three days to brief this issue that I haven't researched at all and have no clue which way the law will blow. Fun! Because I have plenty of time to add another brief to my over-loaded docket full of loose ends that need to be tied before I leave on vacation. (And to think I picked this time because December is usually slow in litigation!)
12/9/12
Morning Sickness
No, I don't have it. I'm way past those days, thank goodness. But the world is all atwitter about Kate having hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), and this is something that I am most definitely an expert in. I previously posted about it here.
First, comparing hyperemesis to morning sickness is like comparing eczema to leprosy. It always drove me crazy when it would come up in conversation and someone would say, "oh yes, I had terrible morning sickness, too. I threw up every day." Or oh yes, "but I had all day sickness, I would be nauseated in the morning and throw up at 4:00 every afternoon." Still not the same. HG is the reason I will never have any more children (on my doctor's advice).
For me, HG meant debilitating nausea and vomiting 24/7, for months. I was never not nauseated. I couldn't eat or drink anything without vomiting. The best (and very expensive) anti-nausea medication on the market couldn't even touch my nausea. So I stopped eating and drinking. And still, I vomited bile over and over again, all day long.
Working was out of the question. I became so weak that I couldn't even walk to the bathroom or lift my arms over my head long enough to comb my hair. I spent weeks in the hospital and more weeks receiving IV fluids at home. I dropped nearly 30 pounds, and I was not overweight to begin with. My hair fell out in clumps.
Second, HG doesn't automatically mean twins. I had HG during three pregnancies, and only one was twins (I had a miscarriage between PS and the twins.) In fact, my mother was furious when I got pregnant with the twins, because I had been so very sick with my previous two pregnancies. However, the HG was about 10 times worse with the twins. In fact, I finally asked my doctors about the possibility of multiples because it was so much worse than with my previous pregnancies. They kind of blew off this suggestion, but I was given an ultrasound the next day (this was still very early--maybe 8 weeks), and lo and behold, there were two babies in there.
With that pregnancy, I was hospitalized for weeks--no home care this time around. I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's in the hospital. PS was sent to stay with her grandparents for weeks at a time, which was absolute torture for me. Nothing controlled the nausea. My doctors told me that I was starving to death. That I should consider terminating my pregnancy because it was wrecking my body. Mine was the worst case of HG my doctors had ever encountered, and that period was absolutely the worst period of my entire life.
I was eventually given a feeding tube, which I vomited up within hours. And then I was given a central line. Eventually, one of my docs found an experimental treatment involving massive doses of steroids. It took a few tries, but eventually it worked--by then I was well into my 5th month.
Obviously, the babies and I all survived with no ill effects (and there is no indication that the HG caused my miscarriage). But I always feel some obligation to educate about HG. Because I've heard so many comments like, "I had morning sickness and I worked every day of my pregnancy." It's just not the same. You can't suck it up and deal with HG because it completely overtakes you.
First, comparing hyperemesis to morning sickness is like comparing eczema to leprosy. It always drove me crazy when it would come up in conversation and someone would say, "oh yes, I had terrible morning sickness, too. I threw up every day." Or oh yes, "but I had all day sickness, I would be nauseated in the morning and throw up at 4:00 every afternoon." Still not the same. HG is the reason I will never have any more children (on my doctor's advice).
For me, HG meant debilitating nausea and vomiting 24/7, for months. I was never not nauseated. I couldn't eat or drink anything without vomiting. The best (and very expensive) anti-nausea medication on the market couldn't even touch my nausea. So I stopped eating and drinking. And still, I vomited bile over and over again, all day long.
Working was out of the question. I became so weak that I couldn't even walk to the bathroom or lift my arms over my head long enough to comb my hair. I spent weeks in the hospital and more weeks receiving IV fluids at home. I dropped nearly 30 pounds, and I was not overweight to begin with. My hair fell out in clumps.
Second, HG doesn't automatically mean twins. I had HG during three pregnancies, and only one was twins (I had a miscarriage between PS and the twins.) In fact, my mother was furious when I got pregnant with the twins, because I had been so very sick with my previous two pregnancies. However, the HG was about 10 times worse with the twins. In fact, I finally asked my doctors about the possibility of multiples because it was so much worse than with my previous pregnancies. They kind of blew off this suggestion, but I was given an ultrasound the next day (this was still very early--maybe 8 weeks), and lo and behold, there were two babies in there.
With that pregnancy, I was hospitalized for weeks--no home care this time around. I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's in the hospital. PS was sent to stay with her grandparents for weeks at a time, which was absolute torture for me. Nothing controlled the nausea. My doctors told me that I was starving to death. That I should consider terminating my pregnancy because it was wrecking my body. Mine was the worst case of HG my doctors had ever encountered, and that period was absolutely the worst period of my entire life.
I was eventually given a feeding tube, which I vomited up within hours. And then I was given a central line. Eventually, one of my docs found an experimental treatment involving massive doses of steroids. It took a few tries, but eventually it worked--by then I was well into my 5th month.
Obviously, the babies and I all survived with no ill effects (and there is no indication that the HG caused my miscarriage). But I always feel some obligation to educate about HG. Because I've heard so many comments like, "I had morning sickness and I worked every day of my pregnancy." It's just not the same. You can't suck it up and deal with HG because it completely overtakes you.
12/4/12
Pooped
After working all weekend and billing twice my weekly average over the last week, I am pooped. Once upon a time I was used to billing a gazillion hours a month, but that is no longer the norm and I almost forgot the zombie-like state that goes along with it.
But we hit a deadline this afternoon, so I cut out at 4:00 (after working until 11:00 last night and being back in the office at 8 this morning) . PS and I have theater tickets tonight, and I am glad to have a bit of time at home and hanging out with my girlies before starting the commute back into Big City to see our show. I hope I don't fall asleep. I may need to hit Starbucks on the way.
I think the twins have taken advantage of my exhausted brain and talked me into a sleepover this weekend. They seem to have made a bunch of new friends this year (despite being their 7th year in this school), and I haven't met most of them. This should give me a chance to meet them and, hopefully, their parents. We've just got to squeeze it in between volleyball and more volleyball and caroling with the girl scouts. But this weekend looks better than any other over the next 6 weeks or so.
The good news is that tomorrow's hump day. Let's just hope I actually get a weekend this weekend.
But we hit a deadline this afternoon, so I cut out at 4:00 (after working until 11:00 last night and being back in the office at 8 this morning) . PS and I have theater tickets tonight, and I am glad to have a bit of time at home and hanging out with my girlies before starting the commute back into Big City to see our show. I hope I don't fall asleep. I may need to hit Starbucks on the way.
I think the twins have taken advantage of my exhausted brain and talked me into a sleepover this weekend. They seem to have made a bunch of new friends this year (despite being their 7th year in this school), and I haven't met most of them. This should give me a chance to meet them and, hopefully, their parents. We've just got to squeeze it in between volleyball and more volleyball and caroling with the girl scouts. But this weekend looks better than any other over the next 6 weeks or so.
The good news is that tomorrow's hump day. Let's just hope I actually get a weekend this weekend.
11/28/12
Best Compliment Ever
I had a tough mediation today. My clients were a group of tough New Yorkers with semi-intimidating Long Island accents whom I had not previously met. But it turned out that they were just the nicest people.
And even though, as is typical in any mediation, nobody was thrilled with the outcome at the end of the day, one of the clients said, "You know, I've had to deal with a lot of lawyers in my life, and you are one of my favorites."
And even though, as is typical in any mediation, nobody was thrilled with the outcome at the end of the day, one of the clients said, "You know, I've had to deal with a lot of lawyers in my life, and you are one of my favorites."
11/24/12
Thankful to be Home
I am so glad to be back at my home after our Turkey Day trip to Hometown. I will admit that I much prefer staying home and hosting Thanksgiving. I love to go all out and cook all of our favorite, delicious things. The trip to Hometown wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but it wasn't great, either.
We stayed with DH's sister, which the kids LOVED because they got to party with their cousins for three days. But they like to stay up super late, and had company over super late most nights, so we are all wiped out from the late nights.
We had Thanksgiving with MIL's family. It was the first time we had seen many of them since her funeral, and her absence was noticeable. The kids had a good time, though. The hosts live in the country and raise horses. All of the cousins had a grand time building forts out of hay bales and chasing the resident dogs and cats around the barn. And there were wild deer that would practically walk right up to you (Fortunately, it was a protected area, because the guys were planning their demise, since we're right in the middle of deer season.)
The next day was dinner with my Dad, brother and grandparents. My dad and grandfather got into a rather loud spat in the middle of the restaurant. My grandfather is about to turn 85 and has Alzheimer's, which become significantly more noticeable with every visit. He knows it and it frustrates him, and although he has always had a bit of a temper, his fuse is much shorter. His personality has just changed with the progression of this disease. My dad, who is also a hothead, does not seem to get that his dad is not the same anymore. So he gets frustrated and angry when Pop gets frustrated and angry. And it just escalates from there. So yeah, that made for a nice family dinner.
We rounded out the day with DH's dad and siblings. We just ordered pizza and sang (very bad) karaoke in BIL's new tricked out game room (complete with laser lights and a disco ball). That was fun, and I'm sure there is some very embarrassing video floating around now.
Then we woke up this morning to head home. And it appears DH has picked up a nasty stomach virus. So we stopped at just about every little town on our 400 mile trek so DH could puke. I felt so bad for him being stuck in the car while feeling so miserable. (And I am selfishly panicked that he will pass this on to me because I have a mediation on Wednesday and everybody except for me and the mediator is flying in from New York and it is my client so nobody else in my firm has worked on this case and I have no idea what I will do if I couldn't handle this mediation.)
And I got a speeding ticket. Because, when coming out of a tiny town, I started accelerating when I saw the speed limit increase sign instead of after I passed it. Damn speedtrap. I've driven this route at least 40 times in my life and I know not to speed in the little towns. The officer admitted that I was a block and a half from the speed limit increase and that I could clearly see the sign from where he clocked me. At least it's about the cheapest speeding ticked I've ever gotten (and I get one every year.). Grumble.
But we're home. DH is still in misery, but at least he's no longer trapped in a moving vehicle. The kids are in a post-cousin-party hangover. And I'm just happy to be out of the car and back in my own home.
We stayed with DH's sister, which the kids LOVED because they got to party with their cousins for three days. But they like to stay up super late, and had company over super late most nights, so we are all wiped out from the late nights.
We had Thanksgiving with MIL's family. It was the first time we had seen many of them since her funeral, and her absence was noticeable. The kids had a good time, though. The hosts live in the country and raise horses. All of the cousins had a grand time building forts out of hay bales and chasing the resident dogs and cats around the barn. And there were wild deer that would practically walk right up to you (Fortunately, it was a protected area, because the guys were planning their demise, since we're right in the middle of deer season.)
The next day was dinner with my Dad, brother and grandparents. My dad and grandfather got into a rather loud spat in the middle of the restaurant. My grandfather is about to turn 85 and has Alzheimer's, which become significantly more noticeable with every visit. He knows it and it frustrates him, and although he has always had a bit of a temper, his fuse is much shorter. His personality has just changed with the progression of this disease. My dad, who is also a hothead, does not seem to get that his dad is not the same anymore. So he gets frustrated and angry when Pop gets frustrated and angry. And it just escalates from there. So yeah, that made for a nice family dinner.
We rounded out the day with DH's dad and siblings. We just ordered pizza and sang (very bad) karaoke in BIL's new tricked out game room (complete with laser lights and a disco ball). That was fun, and I'm sure there is some very embarrassing video floating around now.
Then we woke up this morning to head home. And it appears DH has picked up a nasty stomach virus. So we stopped at just about every little town on our 400 mile trek so DH could puke. I felt so bad for him being stuck in the car while feeling so miserable. (And I am selfishly panicked that he will pass this on to me because I have a mediation on Wednesday and everybody except for me and the mediator is flying in from New York and it is my client so nobody else in my firm has worked on this case and I have no idea what I will do if I couldn't handle this mediation.)
And I got a speeding ticket. Because, when coming out of a tiny town, I started accelerating when I saw the speed limit increase sign instead of after I passed it. Damn speedtrap. I've driven this route at least 40 times in my life and I know not to speed in the little towns. The officer admitted that I was a block and a half from the speed limit increase and that I could clearly see the sign from where he clocked me. At least it's about the cheapest speeding ticked I've ever gotten (and I get one every year.). Grumble.
But we're home. DH is still in misery, but at least he's no longer trapped in a moving vehicle. The kids are in a post-cousin-party hangover. And I'm just happy to be out of the car and back in my own home.
11/18/12
Holiday in the Capital
This week I booked our flight to spend Christmas in Washington D.C. I am ridiculously excited. I've been planning this trip for months, but it didn't feel real until I plunked down the cash to actually get us there.
This will be the twins' first flight. With five of us, it tends to be budget-breakingly expensive to fly anywhere. And the thought of flying with three kids and all their stuff just freaked me out when they were younger. But I managed to score a great deal on airfare (thank you Kayak and Bing travel), making it almost break-even with the cost of driving+two extra nights hotel+crazy parking costs in DC. To get this awesome deal we will be flying on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, which is not perfect, but it's ok. I had already reserved passes for Christmas Eve services at the National cathedral, so my only concern with flying in on Christmas Eve was getting in early enough for that, and absent any major hiccups we should be ok.
I also contacted our congressman months ago to line up tours. I was a bit surprised that anything was available that week, and sadly, the White House is not giving tours then. But we will get to tour the Capitol and I will get to tour the Supreme Court (they didn't have space for the five of us, and I think the rest of the family was relieved to get out of the Supreme Court tour, anyway). I also asked for gallery passes for both the House and Senate. I don't really think they will be in session then, but with the Jan 1 fiscal cliff deadline, I thought it was within the realm of possibility.
We will be spending Christmas Day at Mount Vernon, which seems to be the only place open, and I'm thankful there's that. I think it will be pretty cool to spend Christmas at GW's house. I'm trying to talk the family into seeing White Christmas at the Kennedy Center that night, but they are resisting. No one else shares my love of musical theater.
The rest of the week we will be hitting the museums and monuments. We love museums, but I'm a little bit afraid we might get museumed out. If anyone has any suggestions for not-to-miss attractions, I'd love to hear them. I've never been to DC before, and I'm a bit overwhelmed by how much there is to do.
Now, if we can just survive Thanksgiving. It is truly my favorite holiday, and I love cooking Thanksgiving dinner. But this year we are going to Hometown and I am not cooking and not at all excited about that trip. I can do anything for three days, right?
This will be the twins' first flight. With five of us, it tends to be budget-breakingly expensive to fly anywhere. And the thought of flying with three kids and all their stuff just freaked me out when they were younger. But I managed to score a great deal on airfare (thank you Kayak and Bing travel), making it almost break-even with the cost of driving+two extra nights hotel+crazy parking costs in DC. To get this awesome deal we will be flying on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, which is not perfect, but it's ok. I had already reserved passes for Christmas Eve services at the National cathedral, so my only concern with flying in on Christmas Eve was getting in early enough for that, and absent any major hiccups we should be ok.
I also contacted our congressman months ago to line up tours. I was a bit surprised that anything was available that week, and sadly, the White House is not giving tours then. But we will get to tour the Capitol and I will get to tour the Supreme Court (they didn't have space for the five of us, and I think the rest of the family was relieved to get out of the Supreme Court tour, anyway). I also asked for gallery passes for both the House and Senate. I don't really think they will be in session then, but with the Jan 1 fiscal cliff deadline, I thought it was within the realm of possibility.
We will be spending Christmas Day at Mount Vernon, which seems to be the only place open, and I'm thankful there's that. I think it will be pretty cool to spend Christmas at GW's house. I'm trying to talk the family into seeing White Christmas at the Kennedy Center that night, but they are resisting. No one else shares my love of musical theater.
The rest of the week we will be hitting the museums and monuments. We love museums, but I'm a little bit afraid we might get museumed out. If anyone has any suggestions for not-to-miss attractions, I'd love to hear them. I've never been to DC before, and I'm a bit overwhelmed by how much there is to do.
Now, if we can just survive Thanksgiving. It is truly my favorite holiday, and I love cooking Thanksgiving dinner. But this year we are going to Hometown and I am not cooking and not at all excited about that trip. I can do anything for three days, right?
11/14/12
Boys and Cars
So PS has made a whole new batch of friends in high school--mostly through her robotics club. Which also means that most of her new friends are boys.
I am not at all excited about this. She claims that they are all just friends. But still--boys? And she is so private, I don't think she would tell me if any of them were more than friends. They are also mostly older boys. Juniors. Boys who can drive. Boys with cars.
One offered her a ride home from Robotics last week. He lives around the block. It would be oh so convenient.
Um, no. 1) I don't want her in the car with a new driver. 2) I don't want her in the car with a boy. 3) I don't want her in the car with an older boy.
DH thinks I'm being a bit to spazzy about this. That's because DH was a nice boy. He actually asked before he tried to kiss me the first time. But I dated lots of other boys and they were not so nice. I dated a senior as a freshman, and it was a constant battle to keep his hands from roaming under my clothes. And he was not the only one. Nope, there is no way in Hell my freshman daughter will be going anywhere with junior or senior boys. At least not in a car.
I am not at all excited about this. She claims that they are all just friends. But still--boys? And she is so private, I don't think she would tell me if any of them were more than friends. They are also mostly older boys. Juniors. Boys who can drive. Boys with cars.
One offered her a ride home from Robotics last week. He lives around the block. It would be oh so convenient.
Um, no. 1) I don't want her in the car with a new driver. 2) I don't want her in the car with a boy. 3) I don't want her in the car with an older boy.
DH thinks I'm being a bit to spazzy about this. That's because DH was a nice boy. He actually asked before he tried to kiss me the first time. But I dated lots of other boys and they were not so nice. I dated a senior as a freshman, and it was a constant battle to keep his hands from roaming under my clothes. And he was not the only one. Nope, there is no way in Hell my freshman daughter will be going anywhere with junior or senior boys. At least not in a car.
11/12/12
Interesting...
So when I was leaving the courthouse in Hometown last week after proving up my brother's divorce, I ran into my 5th Grade Arch-Nemesis. I knew he was a lawyer in Hometown, so I wasn't especially surprised to see him, although he looked shocked to see me. We chatted for a minute and then parted ways.
Arch-Nemesis and I spent most of the 5th and 6th grades tormenting one another. We were in a full-day GT program that mingled with other classes only for Art and PE. Being a GT class, it was much different from most of the other classes I had. Instead of desks, we had tables, grouped together in little sections throughout the room. We chose where we sat, and my group of friends always sat on one side of a long table, with Arch-Nemesis and his buddies on the other side. I have no idea why we endured this arrangement for two years--or why our teacher put up with our bickering all that time. We were also given much more freedom than standard classes, and had many, many debates over those two years. I knew a whole lot more about politics and current events in the 5th and 6th grades than most adults did.
This setting left ample opportunity for Arch-Nemesis and me to relentlessly argue and hurl insults at one another. It is not at all surprising that the two of us grew up to become lawyers.*
But we each moved on and grew up. We had fewer classes together and didn't really have much to do with each other after those two years. Interestingly, we both transferred from our original high school to another high school our junior year. Even with us both being the new kids, we continued to ignore each other.
But he did become buddies with my future DH. And so DH knows Arch-Nemesis in a completely different way than I did. I knew him as a 12-year-old pain in the ass, and DH knew him as a 16 year-old crazy teenager.
Then I went off to college. And Arch-Nemesis went to the same college. DH and I would occasionally run into him. He worked at Sears selling vacuums, I worked for a satellite television company and set up his account.
And then he eventually became FB friends with DH, because they were casual friends in HS. But he never friended me and I never friended him (because I never friended anybody--all my friends friended me first--I guess I have a fear of rejection).
Sooooo, anyway, after I got back from Hometown, Arch-Nemesis send DH a message saying, "hey, I saw LC, it was great seeing her, tell her if she has something like a prove-up again to let me know, I'd be happy to help out." And that was nice and I though I would send Arch-Nemesis a friend request, because the professional connection wouldn't be a bad thing, but then I cancelled FB before I did it.
But then tonight Arch-Nemesis sent DH another message via FB that said something like, "Hey, I don't know if LC has said something about it, but I was a real dick to her in 5th grade, and it's really been on my mind lately."
So I guess I should respond. The funny thing is, I truly don't harbor any ill will for Arch-Nemesis. It was kind of like battling with my brother. It's not like I felt bullied and am holding some secret resentment. But I guess I should let him off the hook and tell him that.
Besides, I get it. There were a couple of people in my school years that I could have been nicer to. I have apologized to some of them, but I hate the fact that I might have made someone's junior high or high school years harder than they should have been.
So I understand wanting to clear your conscience. It just seems strange to be coming via my husband.
Arch-Nemesis and I spent most of the 5th and 6th grades tormenting one another. We were in a full-day GT program that mingled with other classes only for Art and PE. Being a GT class, it was much different from most of the other classes I had. Instead of desks, we had tables, grouped together in little sections throughout the room. We chose where we sat, and my group of friends always sat on one side of a long table, with Arch-Nemesis and his buddies on the other side. I have no idea why we endured this arrangement for two years--or why our teacher put up with our bickering all that time. We were also given much more freedom than standard classes, and had many, many debates over those two years. I knew a whole lot more about politics and current events in the 5th and 6th grades than most adults did.
This setting left ample opportunity for Arch-Nemesis and me to relentlessly argue and hurl insults at one another. It is not at all surprising that the two of us grew up to become lawyers.*
But we each moved on and grew up. We had fewer classes together and didn't really have much to do with each other after those two years. Interestingly, we both transferred from our original high school to another high school our junior year. Even with us both being the new kids, we continued to ignore each other.
But he did become buddies with my future DH. And so DH knows Arch-Nemesis in a completely different way than I did. I knew him as a 12-year-old pain in the ass, and DH knew him as a 16 year-old crazy teenager.
Then I went off to college. And Arch-Nemesis went to the same college. DH and I would occasionally run into him. He worked at Sears selling vacuums, I worked for a satellite television company and set up his account.
And then he eventually became FB friends with DH, because they were casual friends in HS. But he never friended me and I never friended him (because I never friended anybody--all my friends friended me first--I guess I have a fear of rejection).
Sooooo, anyway, after I got back from Hometown, Arch-Nemesis send DH a message saying, "hey, I saw LC, it was great seeing her, tell her if she has something like a prove-up again to let me know, I'd be happy to help out." And that was nice and I though I would send Arch-Nemesis a friend request, because the professional connection wouldn't be a bad thing, but then I cancelled FB before I did it.
But then tonight Arch-Nemesis sent DH another message via FB that said something like, "Hey, I don't know if LC has said something about it, but I was a real dick to her in 5th grade, and it's really been on my mind lately."
So I guess I should respond. The funny thing is, I truly don't harbor any ill will for Arch-Nemesis. It was kind of like battling with my brother. It's not like I felt bullied and am holding some secret resentment. But I guess I should let him off the hook and tell him that.
Besides, I get it. There were a couple of people in my school years that I could have been nicer to. I have apologized to some of them, but I hate the fact that I might have made someone's junior high or high school years harder than they should have been.
So I understand wanting to clear your conscience. It just seems strange to be coming via my husband.
11/11/12
Over and Out
So, I deactivated my Facebook account this week. I've been thinking about it for a while, but the political maelstrom is what finally drove me over the edge. You would think it would have happened before the election, but in fact, it was the aftermath.The self-righteous, covertly-racist, you-must-be-an-idiot-if-you-don't-see-things-my-way pre-election posts were awful. But the-sky-is-falling-and-Obama-supporters-made-this-happen posts afterward were truly intolerable.
Seriously? You seriously believe that armageddon is coming because Obama was re-elected? You truly, in your hear-of-hearts believe that we will be under Chinese rule within 4 years? That you need to start stockpiling guns and staples? Seriously?
Indeed, there are people on my feed who believe all of that bullshit.
I grew up in a mid-sized city that was, in a word, it was homogeneous. Mostly all while, mostly all protestant. There were a few Hispanics thrown in, along with a small Catholic population that was barely tolerated. (My own grandparents told me I was going to Hell for marrying a Catholic.) I didn't go to school with any black students until high school--and they were bussed in from another part of town and were not in any of my honors classes. I think we had one Asian kid and one Indian kid. No Jews. No Muslims. No Mormons. Everybody went to church, usually on Sunday morning and evenings and on Wednesday nights, too.
It is not surprising that area is strongly right-wing Republican. Practically the birthplace of the Tea Party. And I saw the world through the exact same lens as all of them until I got the hell out.
I've said often that the smartest thing I've ever done is get out of of there. To raise my children in an area where they have friends of many faiths and colors and political beliefs. My kids were stunned when they learned about slavery in school. They couldn't imagine that people could be treated that way because of the color of their skin. I grew up in an environment where the "N-word" was thrown around freely and open racism made slavery not such a big surprise. Today, the racism is more subtle, but intolerance still abounds. My aunt recently announced that it was just too bad that a dear family friend was going to hell, regardless of the many charitable works he has done, because he just came out of the closet.
And so the election brought back all the reasons why I will never go back to Hometown. Because I learned to think for myself, instead of just accepting the crap I had been spoon-fed my entire life. I guess I though that my peers from Hometown would have similarly evolved. Not so much.
Interestingly, those that still live in Hometown, still follow (literally) the party line. Those that have moved away, generally, do not. They are more open to at least consider the other side of the story, no matter which side they come out on at the end of the day. Those that are still there seem stunned that there is another viewpoint. Did the ones that moved away do so because they were more open-minded to begin with? Or did breaking away from the homogeneous bubble of Hometown make them more open-minded?
For the record, I am an Independent. I voted a split ticket, after researching all of the elections on my ballot. My presidential vote was largely decided by social issues and by who would likely be making Supreme Court appointments over the next four years (especially in light of Ginsburg's health). I am intolerant of intolerance. Of legislating religious beliefs with no other legitimate support. And I don't really care how you voted. But don't act like I'm a moron because of the way I voted. Like my vote is leading to your demise. I am many things, but I am not stupid and I put a whole lot of thought and research into my vote.
So I gave up Facebook because I was starting to hate people that I had previously liked and respected. And because it seemed better to end our cyber relationships before they infected the real ones.
We'll see what happens. If I will eventually go back, or if I'm truly done. PS has staunchly refused to get on FB--perhaps the only 14-year-old girl in the world to make this decision. She may be the smartest person I know.
Seriously? You seriously believe that armageddon is coming because Obama was re-elected? You truly, in your hear-of-hearts believe that we will be under Chinese rule within 4 years? That you need to start stockpiling guns and staples? Seriously?
Indeed, there are people on my feed who believe all of that bullshit.
I grew up in a mid-sized city that was, in a word, it was homogeneous. Mostly all while, mostly all protestant. There were a few Hispanics thrown in, along with a small Catholic population that was barely tolerated. (My own grandparents told me I was going to Hell for marrying a Catholic.) I didn't go to school with any black students until high school--and they were bussed in from another part of town and were not in any of my honors classes. I think we had one Asian kid and one Indian kid. No Jews. No Muslims. No Mormons. Everybody went to church, usually on Sunday morning and evenings and on Wednesday nights, too.
It is not surprising that area is strongly right-wing Republican. Practically the birthplace of the Tea Party. And I saw the world through the exact same lens as all of them until I got the hell out.
I've said often that the smartest thing I've ever done is get out of of there. To raise my children in an area where they have friends of many faiths and colors and political beliefs. My kids were stunned when they learned about slavery in school. They couldn't imagine that people could be treated that way because of the color of their skin. I grew up in an environment where the "N-word" was thrown around freely and open racism made slavery not such a big surprise. Today, the racism is more subtle, but intolerance still abounds. My aunt recently announced that it was just too bad that a dear family friend was going to hell, regardless of the many charitable works he has done, because he just came out of the closet.
And so the election brought back all the reasons why I will never go back to Hometown. Because I learned to think for myself, instead of just accepting the crap I had been spoon-fed my entire life. I guess I though that my peers from Hometown would have similarly evolved. Not so much.
Interestingly, those that still live in Hometown, still follow (literally) the party line. Those that have moved away, generally, do not. They are more open to at least consider the other side of the story, no matter which side they come out on at the end of the day. Those that are still there seem stunned that there is another viewpoint. Did the ones that moved away do so because they were more open-minded to begin with? Or did breaking away from the homogeneous bubble of Hometown make them more open-minded?
For the record, I am an Independent. I voted a split ticket, after researching all of the elections on my ballot. My presidential vote was largely decided by social issues and by who would likely be making Supreme Court appointments over the next four years (especially in light of Ginsburg's health). I am intolerant of intolerance. Of legislating religious beliefs with no other legitimate support. And I don't really care how you voted. But don't act like I'm a moron because of the way I voted. Like my vote is leading to your demise. I am many things, but I am not stupid and I put a whole lot of thought and research into my vote.
So I gave up Facebook because I was starting to hate people that I had previously liked and respected. And because it seemed better to end our cyber relationships before they infected the real ones.
We'll see what happens. If I will eventually go back, or if I'm truly done. PS has staunchly refused to get on FB--perhaps the only 14-year-old girl in the world to make this decision. She may be the smartest person I know.
11/7/12
Divorce Flowers
I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Life just got really busy.
So, I've been handling my brother's divorce. Generally, my mantra is "I don't do family or criminal law." I only got involved in this one because of my nieces. Otherwise, I would have left him to handle is on his own. Anyway, it was set for trial last Friday. There was a whole lot of unnecessary drama that caused my stress levels to escalate through the roof. But in the end, there was a last minute agreement, and it was good to have it done.
So I drove to Hometown late Thursday afternoon, had the hearing Friday morning, filed my mother-in-laws probate proceeding (it will be 3 years in February) had lunch with my grandparents and their friends at the Dairy Queen where I was introduced as "this is our beautiful granddaughter, she's a lawyer" was grilled by the friends on why I wasn't traveling with a firearm since I was alone.
I finally drove home late Friday night, and was up early Saturday because DH and the girls had a race followed by TT's double-header softball games.
Because of the divorce mess, I had procrastinated on another deadline for Monday, and spent all day Sunday at the office.And on Monday my dad sent a huge bouquet to thank me for handling my brother's divorce. Everyone who asks about the flowers finds it quite amusing that I got them for ending my brother's marriage. My new mantra is "I will never do another divorce." I've done two before and didn't like it then, but this one was truly awful. But the flowers are pretty.
In other news, a student at PS's school was murdered last week, so that threw us off kilter. Our little town has only had two murders. Ever. There's really not much crime here and maybe we all have a bit of a false sense of security. It was truly shocking and tragic.
There was also a murder less than a block from my office in Big City, and the next day a kidnapping at a mall across the street. That does not leave me particularly excited to be leaving my building alone after dark.
And then our guinea pig died. The twins took it much harder than expected, so tonight we buried it and had a little memorial service and the girls wrote poems about her.
So, yeah, it's been a little crazy around here. But crazy is the norm. The good news is that this coming weekend is our first free weekend in a couple of weeks. Yay!
So, I've been handling my brother's divorce. Generally, my mantra is "I don't do family or criminal law." I only got involved in this one because of my nieces. Otherwise, I would have left him to handle is on his own. Anyway, it was set for trial last Friday. There was a whole lot of unnecessary drama that caused my stress levels to escalate through the roof. But in the end, there was a last minute agreement, and it was good to have it done.
So I drove to Hometown late Thursday afternoon, had the hearing Friday morning, filed my mother-in-laws probate proceeding (it will be 3 years in February) had lunch with my grandparents and their friends at the Dairy Queen where I was introduced as "this is our beautiful granddaughter, she's a lawyer" was grilled by the friends on why I wasn't traveling with a firearm since I was alone.
I finally drove home late Friday night, and was up early Saturday because DH and the girls had a race followed by TT's double-header softball games.
Because of the divorce mess, I had procrastinated on another deadline for Monday, and spent all day Sunday at the office.And on Monday my dad sent a huge bouquet to thank me for handling my brother's divorce. Everyone who asks about the flowers finds it quite amusing that I got them for ending my brother's marriage. My new mantra is "I will never do another divorce." I've done two before and didn't like it then, but this one was truly awful. But the flowers are pretty.
In other news, a student at PS's school was murdered last week, so that threw us off kilter. Our little town has only had two murders. Ever. There's really not much crime here and maybe we all have a bit of a false sense of security. It was truly shocking and tragic.
There was also a murder less than a block from my office in Big City, and the next day a kidnapping at a mall across the street. That does not leave me particularly excited to be leaving my building alone after dark.
And then our guinea pig died. The twins took it much harder than expected, so tonight we buried it and had a little memorial service and the girls wrote poems about her.
So, yeah, it's been a little crazy around here. But crazy is the norm. The good news is that this coming weekend is our first free weekend in a couple of weeks. Yay!
10/21/12
Crappy Cake Week
So this week was the busiest I've had in months. I like busy. Busy makes me happy. But this was stressful busy. There was a lot of unnecessary tension and by Friday afternoon my staff was practically cowering in the corner (and my secretary was literally in tears). Why do so many lawyers create their own emergencies? Procrastination is not your friend.
In the middle of a phone call came from my mother informing me that she was on her way here (again), and that they were expecting to amputate her leg. It has been infected since before her multiple surgeries last year, and the infection just won't go away. She has been in the hospital on IV antibiotics for weeks, which suppress the infection while she is on them, but as soon as she goes off of them it comes raging back. The infectious disease doctors told her there is nothing more they can do.
Of course, the surgeon is another matter. He's saying maybe they can just open up her leg and clean it out. Yeah--they've already done that once and it didn't work. I think that plan will just delay the inevitable. So we don't know for sure what's going to happen. But she's here and there's no telling how long she's going to be here. And her husband is supposed to be here for 6 weeks starting next month for a bone-marrow transplant. So, yeah, this is gonna be fun.
And then I got a 14-page order denying my 12(b) motions. Was it really necessary to take 14 pages to tell me that my arguments sucked? That was just the icing on this crappy-cake week.
In happier news, the kids seem to be back on track. The twins have B's in math and A's in everything else, and are slowly earning privileges back. SS has received a ton of compliments about how much she has improved in volleyball since last season--which is the first time one of my kids has ever shown any athletic prowess. It looks like this will be her "thing". And TT is doing great with the flute. It is so much easier to get her to practice than it was with the violin, and she seems to really like band. So maybe we've found her "thing," too.
In the middle of a phone call came from my mother informing me that she was on her way here (again), and that they were expecting to amputate her leg. It has been infected since before her multiple surgeries last year, and the infection just won't go away. She has been in the hospital on IV antibiotics for weeks, which suppress the infection while she is on them, but as soon as she goes off of them it comes raging back. The infectious disease doctors told her there is nothing more they can do.
Of course, the surgeon is another matter. He's saying maybe they can just open up her leg and clean it out. Yeah--they've already done that once and it didn't work. I think that plan will just delay the inevitable. So we don't know for sure what's going to happen. But she's here and there's no telling how long she's going to be here. And her husband is supposed to be here for 6 weeks starting next month for a bone-marrow transplant. So, yeah, this is gonna be fun.
And then I got a 14-page order denying my 12(b) motions. Was it really necessary to take 14 pages to tell me that my arguments sucked? That was just the icing on this crappy-cake week.
In happier news, the kids seem to be back on track. The twins have B's in math and A's in everything else, and are slowly earning privileges back. SS has received a ton of compliments about how much she has improved in volleyball since last season--which is the first time one of my kids has ever shown any athletic prowess. It looks like this will be her "thing". And TT is doing great with the flute. It is so much easier to get her to practice than it was with the violin, and she seems to really like band. So maybe we've found her "thing," too.
10/6/12
Kids and Math and Life
So after a week of tough love, the twins are passing math again. We spent many hours at the table doing makeup work. I've also learned that they do not know their multiplication tables. Yes, it does make me a failure as a mother that my 6th graders don't know their multiplication tables. And since the work that their doing now is all about factoring, it is a major handicap for them. So this weekend we are taking the guerrilla approach to memorizing multiplication tables. It will be all flash cards, all the time. I made them make their own. And when they don't know one, we do a little chant, so that we can assault all of our senses in the quest for memorization. I don't think there are a whole lot of things in this world that have to be memorized, but the multiplication tables are on the short list.
PS is having her own struggles. I don't think she was prepared for how much harder high school was going to be. We leave the house at 7:30 in the morning, and she's staying at school until 6 for robotics most nights and then doing homework until about 10. The poor kid hardly has a free moment. I've pretty much eliminated her chores, and bumped the twins' allowance for picking up the slack.
We are now well into the fall frenzy--where our weekends are filled with the kids' activities. I limit how many activities they can participate in, but with 3 kids, it still adds up to a lot of running around. The twins had girl scouts last night, PS had to be at school at 7:00 this morning for robotics, and the twins have conflicting softball practice and volleyball games this afternoon, followed by volleyball practice tomorrow. It's ok for now, but if there is a wrench thrown in, it will be hard. I've heard that my mother might be coming back, but she hasn't bothered to actually tell me this. So for now I'm just holding my breath and hoping for the best.
PS is having her own struggles. I don't think she was prepared for how much harder high school was going to be. We leave the house at 7:30 in the morning, and she's staying at school until 6 for robotics most nights and then doing homework until about 10. The poor kid hardly has a free moment. I've pretty much eliminated her chores, and bumped the twins' allowance for picking up the slack.
We are now well into the fall frenzy--where our weekends are filled with the kids' activities. I limit how many activities they can participate in, but with 3 kids, it still adds up to a lot of running around. The twins had girl scouts last night, PS had to be at school at 7:00 this morning for robotics, and the twins have conflicting softball practice and volleyball games this afternoon, followed by volleyball practice tomorrow. It's ok for now, but if there is a wrench thrown in, it will be hard. I've heard that my mother might be coming back, but she hasn't bothered to actually tell me this. So for now I'm just holding my breath and hoping for the best.
9/27/12
God, Help Us All
I'm not sure I'm going to survive 3 teenagers--and the twins are still only 11! But they have been giving me a run for my money this week, the likes of which I haven't seen since they were toddlers.
Apparently, TT and SS decided they didn't have to do homework anymore. I discovered this when I learned they were both failing math. This was something of a shock since all of my kids are typically straight-A students.
A call to the math teacher revealed that they hadn't been turning in any of their work. And once I started digging, I learned that this wasn't limited to math--they had missing papers in all of their classes. The math teacher was just the first to update their grades.
So we have spent every night this week doing makeup work. They are turning everything bit of their previously-skipped work in to their teachers, whether they can still get credit for it or not.
And they're on Amish house arrest. I've confiscated their iPods and their laptops* and locked down the television. The only thing I left them was their phones, because we don't have a landline and need to be able to get in touch with them.
The twins haven't been big texters, but apparently some of their friends just got phones and the texting has escalated. I got online today and saw that they have been texting nonstop this week--while they're grounded from everything else and long after bedtime.
So, I figured out how to activate the parental controls for their phones. I can now restrict what hours they are allowed to text, and exempt our immediate family and emergency contacts from the restrictions.
It is a lot of work staying a step ahead of them. And the biggest problem with the twins is that they have no currency. No matter what I take away from them, they will adapt. They are perfectly content to draw and read now that all of their electronic accoutrements are gone--and will spend hours at the table doodling instead of doing their homework.
Anyway, I am now all over the homework issue, so there will be no more slacking there. And they will remain technology-free until they have at least a B in math. But this week has royally sucked between all of the makeup work and teacher conferences and discipline. What happened to my sweet little girls who were always model students?
Apparently, TT and SS decided they didn't have to do homework anymore. I discovered this when I learned they were both failing math. This was something of a shock since all of my kids are typically straight-A students.
A call to the math teacher revealed that they hadn't been turning in any of their work. And once I started digging, I learned that this wasn't limited to math--they had missing papers in all of their classes. The math teacher was just the first to update their grades.
So we have spent every night this week doing makeup work. They are turning everything bit of their previously-skipped work in to their teachers, whether they can still get credit for it or not.
And they're on Amish house arrest. I've confiscated their iPods and their laptops* and locked down the television. The only thing I left them was their phones, because we don't have a landline and need to be able to get in touch with them.
The twins haven't been big texters, but apparently some of their friends just got phones and the texting has escalated. I got online today and saw that they have been texting nonstop this week--while they're grounded from everything else and long after bedtime.
So, I figured out how to activate the parental controls for their phones. I can now restrict what hours they are allowed to text, and exempt our immediate family and emergency contacts from the restrictions.
It is a lot of work staying a step ahead of them. And the biggest problem with the twins is that they have no currency. No matter what I take away from them, they will adapt. They are perfectly content to draw and read now that all of their electronic accoutrements are gone--and will spend hours at the table doodling instead of doing their homework.
Anyway, I am now all over the homework issue, so there will be no more slacking there. And they will remain technology-free until they have at least a B in math. But this week has royally sucked between all of the makeup work and teacher conferences and discipline. What happened to my sweet little girls who were always model students?
9/23/12
Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!
A few days ago PS said to me, "Do you know what happens in 11 days?"
And I responded, "yeah, the anniversary of the day I pushed your giant head out of my vagina."
She rolled her eyes and huffed off. It's so much fun torturing teenagers.
So tomorrow I've been a mom for 14 years. Hard to believe, and I'm not adjusting well. PS has changed so much in the last year, from a petite girl in middle school, to a grown-up sized young woman in high school. Last week she came downstairs in her go-to dress, paired with a pair of wedge-heeled booties and patterned tights. The dress had suddenly become too-short and too-tight and she had curves that seemingly appeared overnight. She is definitely not the 8-pound butterball I fell in love with 14 years ago.
Sadly, she's learning that birthdays get less fun as you get older. She's got school tomorrow, followed by robotics club and then the parent open-house. She's pretty much spending13 hours at school tomorrow. We're hoping we can squeeze in a super-quick dinner, but it's going to be a crazy day.
So tonight she gets Cherry Crunch per her request. And I guess we'll let her open her presents. Unless I want to torture her a little longer with them.
And I responded, "yeah, the anniversary of the day I pushed your giant head out of my vagina."
She rolled her eyes and huffed off. It's so much fun torturing teenagers.
So tomorrow I've been a mom for 14 years. Hard to believe, and I'm not adjusting well. PS has changed so much in the last year, from a petite girl in middle school, to a grown-up sized young woman in high school. Last week she came downstairs in her go-to dress, paired with a pair of wedge-heeled booties and patterned tights. The dress had suddenly become too-short and too-tight and she had curves that seemingly appeared overnight. She is definitely not the 8-pound butterball I fell in love with 14 years ago.
Sadly, she's learning that birthdays get less fun as you get older. She's got school tomorrow, followed by robotics club and then the parent open-house. She's pretty much spending13 hours at school tomorrow. We're hoping we can squeeze in a super-quick dinner, but it's going to be a crazy day.
So tonight she gets Cherry Crunch per her request. And I guess we'll let her open her presents. Unless I want to torture her a little longer with them.
9/16/12
Keep on Keepin' On
My mother has been sent back home, for which I am eternally grateful. I was not ready for the upheaval that we endured last fall and winter.
I've figured out what to do with my grandfather's estate, which is a whole lot of nothing. I'll notify the creditors that he's dead and if one of them wants to open probate they can have at it.
My brother continues to be a pain in the ass with his very messy divorce and the drama that comes with it, but at least that is the only family issue I am dealing with right now.
As for the kids, we have survived the first three weeks of school. It's been a transition for PS (and us), starting high school. Her classes are hard and her days are long. She doesn't have any of her old friends in any of her classes or her lunch period, but I think she is doing ok and starting to make new friends.
She tried out for the soccer team, but was cut. This was no surprise to her parents. She had deluded herself into believing that she would make the team no matter what. She never, ever practiced at home, and refused all of the soccer camps and clinics I offered to send her to. By the second day of practice, when she saw the skills of girls who have been playing competitively for years, she knew it wasn't going to happen. It was tough on her, but it was a life lesson that she needed to learn, and no amount of nagging from me was going to teach her what she learned from that experience: you have to work for the things that you want.
Anyway, she dropped soccer and picked up art--something that she does have a lot of talent for and spends hours a day "practicing." She also joined the robotics team. The team went to nationals last year, and we are all super-geekily excited about what they will do this year. The machines these kids build are simply phenomenal.
SS and TT are in their final year of elementary school. No big changes for them--except that they now change classes and they have two classes together. They have never had class together. I made the very conscious decision to separate them in pre-K (I would not have done it if I didn't think they were ready for it, and I would have fought to keep them together if I though it was necessary) and they have never been in the same class. Interestingly, they are not at all excited to have classes together now. Even though they always eat lunch together and have mostly the same friends.
So, we're off. I miss our relaxed summer evenings and the much lighter summer traffic. But at least the weather is cooler and we have Halloween and Thanksgiving to look forward to--which are, hands down, the best holidays.
I've figured out what to do with my grandfather's estate, which is a whole lot of nothing. I'll notify the creditors that he's dead and if one of them wants to open probate they can have at it.
My brother continues to be a pain in the ass with his very messy divorce and the drama that comes with it, but at least that is the only family issue I am dealing with right now.
As for the kids, we have survived the first three weeks of school. It's been a transition for PS (and us), starting high school. Her classes are hard and her days are long. She doesn't have any of her old friends in any of her classes or her lunch period, but I think she is doing ok and starting to make new friends.
She tried out for the soccer team, but was cut. This was no surprise to her parents. She had deluded herself into believing that she would make the team no matter what. She never, ever practiced at home, and refused all of the soccer camps and clinics I offered to send her to. By the second day of practice, when she saw the skills of girls who have been playing competitively for years, she knew it wasn't going to happen. It was tough on her, but it was a life lesson that she needed to learn, and no amount of nagging from me was going to teach her what she learned from that experience: you have to work for the things that you want.
Anyway, she dropped soccer and picked up art--something that she does have a lot of talent for and spends hours a day "practicing." She also joined the robotics team. The team went to nationals last year, and we are all super-geekily excited about what they will do this year. The machines these kids build are simply phenomenal.
SS and TT are in their final year of elementary school. No big changes for them--except that they now change classes and they have two classes together. They have never had class together. I made the very conscious decision to separate them in pre-K (I would not have done it if I didn't think they were ready for it, and I would have fought to keep them together if I though it was necessary) and they have never been in the same class. Interestingly, they are not at all excited to have classes together now. Even though they always eat lunch together and have mostly the same friends.
So, we're off. I miss our relaxed summer evenings and the much lighter summer traffic. But at least the weather is cooler and we have Halloween and Thanksgiving to look forward to--which are, hands down, the best holidays.
9/9/12
Family
On Wednesday evening I flew in for my maternal grandfather's funeral. My dad picked me up from the airport, and we had dinner with his parents. My grandmother promptly informed us that she had been to the doctor earlier that day and that he had given her a mew medication "for my brain." It is the Alzheimer's medication that my grandfather currently taking. It was clear that both of their conditions were worse than the last time a saw them, less than 6 months ago.
My paternal grandparents always refused to grow old gracefully, and I always believed that their active lifestyle kept them young. But they are becoming old and frail and forgetful. I told DH a few weeks ago that it felt like all of our grandparents were going to start to die soon. They are all in their 80's now--so it wasn't exactly a prophetic statement. But it's still not going to be easy.
I spent the later evening hours with aunts and cousins that I hadn't seen in a very long time. It's terrible that it's always death that brings us together, but I really enjoyed spending time with them. That is somewhat unusual. I never quite fit in with my mother's family. I am the oldest of my generation, with my male cousin and brother a couple of years behind me. Those two were inseparable, and I was the third wheel. My two female cousins are both more than 12 years younger than me. I babysat them. So for years, at every family gathering, I sat in the corner reading, with my boisterous family in the background. I was the quiet, smart one. I don't think anyone knew what to do with me. They are all loud and gossipy and in the middle of one another's business.
My mother traveled to my city on Wednesday, while I was headed to Hometown. Her insurance wouldn't pay for ambulance transport, and so she was discharged and her husband drove her. She could have left on Thursday afternoon instead of Wednesday afternoon so that she could attend her father's funeral, but she did not. Nor did she attend the visitation on Wednesday morning before she left. For the next two days, all of her siblings were asking if I had heard from her, because she wasn't taking anyone's phone calls.
The funeral was small and simple. Afterward we gathered again at my aunt's house. She gave me the photographs that had been taken from my grandparent's house that were earmarked for my mother. I don't have any of my childhood pictures, so I was happy to have them. My kids found them hilarious.
I also brought home a load of paperwork to sort out the "estate." There's not really an estate. There's a trailer with an overdue mortgage and two tax liens, and an empty lot that my grandfather conveyed to two different purchasers. I have no idea where to start with all of this. I do not practice probate law. The property just needs to be foreclosed on and the two purchasers are going to have to sort it out among themselves. I'm just not sure how his death affects this. We were trying to get it sorted out before he passed away. I guess I'll be doing some research this afternoon.
I flew home Thursday evening, and within 12 hours I was back at the airport for my flight out for a hearing on Friday. That went well, and I was back home again, and exhausted, by mid-afternoon. I stopped by to see my mother on the way home. It turns out that the docs here do not want to re-do the knee and want to ship her back home next week. This is good news for me, but I don't think this battle between doctors in two cities is in her best interest. I guess we'll see what happens next. I'm just hoping this week is better than last.
My paternal grandparents always refused to grow old gracefully, and I always believed that their active lifestyle kept them young. But they are becoming old and frail and forgetful. I told DH a few weeks ago that it felt like all of our grandparents were going to start to die soon. They are all in their 80's now--so it wasn't exactly a prophetic statement. But it's still not going to be easy.
I spent the later evening hours with aunts and cousins that I hadn't seen in a very long time. It's terrible that it's always death that brings us together, but I really enjoyed spending time with them. That is somewhat unusual. I never quite fit in with my mother's family. I am the oldest of my generation, with my male cousin and brother a couple of years behind me. Those two were inseparable, and I was the third wheel. My two female cousins are both more than 12 years younger than me. I babysat them. So for years, at every family gathering, I sat in the corner reading, with my boisterous family in the background. I was the quiet, smart one. I don't think anyone knew what to do with me. They are all loud and gossipy and in the middle of one another's business.
My mother traveled to my city on Wednesday, while I was headed to Hometown. Her insurance wouldn't pay for ambulance transport, and so she was discharged and her husband drove her. She could have left on Thursday afternoon instead of Wednesday afternoon so that she could attend her father's funeral, but she did not. Nor did she attend the visitation on Wednesday morning before she left. For the next two days, all of her siblings were asking if I had heard from her, because she wasn't taking anyone's phone calls.
The funeral was small and simple. Afterward we gathered again at my aunt's house. She gave me the photographs that had been taken from my grandparent's house that were earmarked for my mother. I don't have any of my childhood pictures, so I was happy to have them. My kids found them hilarious.
I also brought home a load of paperwork to sort out the "estate." There's not really an estate. There's a trailer with an overdue mortgage and two tax liens, and an empty lot that my grandfather conveyed to two different purchasers. I have no idea where to start with all of this. I do not practice probate law. The property just needs to be foreclosed on and the two purchasers are going to have to sort it out among themselves. I'm just not sure how his death affects this. We were trying to get it sorted out before he passed away. I guess I'll be doing some research this afternoon.
I flew home Thursday evening, and within 12 hours I was back at the airport for my flight out for a hearing on Friday. That went well, and I was back home again, and exhausted, by mid-afternoon. I stopped by to see my mother on the way home. It turns out that the docs here do not want to re-do the knee and want to ship her back home next week. This is good news for me, but I don't think this battle between doctors in two cities is in her best interest. I guess we'll see what happens next. I'm just hoping this week is better than last.
9/4/12
Not Enough Vodka
As I was rushing the kids out the door this morning, my brother called to inform me that my grandfather had just passed away. While his health had been declining somewhat rapidly, we still though there was some time left. A birthday party for him was in the works for the end of the month, and while we were expecting that it would likely be our last visit, we were comfortable that there was that much time left.
Minutes after learning about my grandfather, I spoke with my mother who informed me that they were intending to transfer her to a hospital here within the next day or two to remove and replace her knee. She is in a contamination ward at the hospital and will not be attending her father's funeral.
I was left trying to figure out whether to make travel arrangements to attend the funeral, or to stay here for my mother's surgery. And to complicate matters, I already had an out-of-town hearing scheduled for Friday.
The funeral is scheduled for Thursday, and I decided that it was unlikely my mother would be transported and her surgery scheduled before then, so I went ahead and booked the flight.
And now my 4-day workweek has been condensed into a day-and-a-half. I have a hard deadline on Friday for my pro bono case that left me sending an affidavit to my client this morning, begging her to get it notarized today, and then driving half-way across the world to retrieve it from her so that I can file it in the morning. This is a perfect example of why procrastination is bad!
I fly to Hometown late tomorrow afternoon and back out early Thursday evening. Then I have an early morning flight on Friday for my hearing, and will hopefully be home again by early evening.
Tonight I have to pack and finish up a couple of research projects to hand off to my bosses before I leave tomorrow. And the kids and I all have colds and feel crappy and cranky.
To top it all off, my brother just texted me and said that when he tried to visit my mother this evening her husband tried to start a physical fight in the hospital and in front of my nieces and had to be pulled off my brother and escorted out by a hospital aide! WTF?! And then my aunt told me it was the other way around.
If I wasn't convinced that my family was white trash before, this definitely seals the deal. Without question, the smartest thing I have ever done in my life was to get the hell out of Hometown.
Minutes after learning about my grandfather, I spoke with my mother who informed me that they were intending to transfer her to a hospital here within the next day or two to remove and replace her knee. She is in a contamination ward at the hospital and will not be attending her father's funeral.
I was left trying to figure out whether to make travel arrangements to attend the funeral, or to stay here for my mother's surgery. And to complicate matters, I already had an out-of-town hearing scheduled for Friday.
The funeral is scheduled for Thursday, and I decided that it was unlikely my mother would be transported and her surgery scheduled before then, so I went ahead and booked the flight.
And now my 4-day workweek has been condensed into a day-and-a-half. I have a hard deadline on Friday for my pro bono case that left me sending an affidavit to my client this morning, begging her to get it notarized today, and then driving half-way across the world to retrieve it from her so that I can file it in the morning. This is a perfect example of why procrastination is bad!
I fly to Hometown late tomorrow afternoon and back out early Thursday evening. Then I have an early morning flight on Friday for my hearing, and will hopefully be home again by early evening.
Tonight I have to pack and finish up a couple of research projects to hand off to my bosses before I leave tomorrow. And the kids and I all have colds and feel crappy and cranky.
To top it all off, my brother just texted me and said that when he tried to visit my mother this evening her husband tried to start a physical fight in the hospital and in front of my nieces and had to be pulled off my brother and escorted out by a hospital aide! WTF?! And then my aunt told me it was the other way around.
If I wasn't convinced that my family was white trash before, this definitely seals the deal. Without question, the smartest thing I have ever done in my life was to get the hell out of Hometown.
8/29/12
A Vodka and Chocolate Kind of Day
My morning started with my brother frantically texting me to call him ASAP. His very messy divorce is getting messier.
As soon as I got to work, my aunt called to give me a heads up that my mother's infection just won't go away and they are likely going to be sending her back here. An hour later she confirmed that was the plan. My mother will likely have to have her new knee replaced, which would involve a temporary antibiotic spacer for several weeks before the new one is installed. Or they could amputate.
Call me a selfish bitch, but the thought of my mother coming back here for several months again nearly made me cry at my desk at work. It was so, so hard adding her in to my already precarious balance last year. I don't want that stress again.
Then a friend who always manages to be in legal trouble called with more legal trouble. I just ignored her texts because I was busy, and I couldn't freaking deal with anyone else's problems by that point.
Got hung up at work a bit late. Met DH for dinner while the twins were at church (they asked to start going to church on Wednesday nights, who am I to say no?). I was bitching about my day to DH and he said, "you know what we need to do? Go to the batting cages!"
And so we went. And it was therapeutic. DH called out "This one's your brother! This one's your mom! This one's your surly teenage daughter!"
And then I hit one onto the top of my foot. Did I mention that I came straight from work? So I was still in heels. Yeah, there's a reason you don't play baseball in heels. And no, I don't know how I managed to hit a ball straight down onto my foot.
I immediately uttered a curse word and my foot immediately started to swell. You could see a perfect, white imprint of the ball on the top of my foot. It kept swelling and got a bit tingly, and my toes won't bend. I'm 95% certain its a hematoma, and WebMD agrees with me. I just don't know if I broke anything under the hematoma. I can kind of walk on it.
So I'm sitting here iced and elevated, sipping a cocktail (with whipped cream flavored vodka, which is so very yummy). I guess I'll see what it looks like in the morning and decide if I need to go to the doctor. Now I just need some damn chocolate.
As soon as I got to work, my aunt called to give me a heads up that my mother's infection just won't go away and they are likely going to be sending her back here. An hour later she confirmed that was the plan. My mother will likely have to have her new knee replaced, which would involve a temporary antibiotic spacer for several weeks before the new one is installed. Or they could amputate.
Call me a selfish bitch, but the thought of my mother coming back here for several months again nearly made me cry at my desk at work. It was so, so hard adding her in to my already precarious balance last year. I don't want that stress again.
Then a friend who always manages to be in legal trouble called with more legal trouble. I just ignored her texts because I was busy, and I couldn't freaking deal with anyone else's problems by that point.
Got hung up at work a bit late. Met DH for dinner while the twins were at church (they asked to start going to church on Wednesday nights, who am I to say no?). I was bitching about my day to DH and he said, "you know what we need to do? Go to the batting cages!"
And so we went. And it was therapeutic. DH called out "This one's your brother! This one's your mom! This one's your surly teenage daughter!"
And then I hit one onto the top of my foot. Did I mention that I came straight from work? So I was still in heels. Yeah, there's a reason you don't play baseball in heels. And no, I don't know how I managed to hit a ball straight down onto my foot.
I immediately uttered a curse word and my foot immediately started to swell. You could see a perfect, white imprint of the ball on the top of my foot. It kept swelling and got a bit tingly, and my toes won't bend. I'm 95% certain its a hematoma, and WebMD agrees with me. I just don't know if I broke anything under the hematoma. I can kind of walk on it.
So I'm sitting here iced and elevated, sipping a cocktail (with whipped cream flavored vodka, which is so very yummy). I guess I'll see what it looks like in the morning and decide if I need to go to the doctor. Now I just need some damn chocolate.
8/25/12
Awesome Grannies
8/24/12
Today
I took off this last Friday of summer to hang with my girlies. Despite the fact that I have had to drag my tired ass out of bed every day this week, this morning I was wide awake at 6:00 am. WTF?
I let Bob out and impatiently waited for him to do his business so that I could let him back in. And then he started barking. I poked my head out of the door (because I was only wearing a tank top and undies), and could see that his hair was raised and he had something trapped, but it was just around the corner of the house where I couldn't see what. I ran inside to find pants and shoes, but DH volunteered to check it out. I wasn't going to argue, since the last time Bob cornered something it was a rat snake.
It turned out to be a plastic bag. I'm so glad to know that Bob is willing to protect us from those vicious plastic bags. Especially when he will let any human into the house without so much as a growl, and will love you forever if you scratch his ears.
We spent the rest of the days running back to school errands (and saw The Odd Life of Timothy Green. It was a bit boring and a bit sad.) It was a really nice girlie day.
Finally, we headed to the school for meet the teacher, which had been advertised in several places as being from 4-6 pm. And when we got there at 4:15 we were informed that we couldn't meet the teachers until 5. WTF? And then it came flooding back to me that they pulled this same crap last year. At least I didn't leave work early to be there at 4:00 (like last year).
So now we're killing time before we go back to school.
I let Bob out and impatiently waited for him to do his business so that I could let him back in. And then he started barking. I poked my head out of the door (because I was only wearing a tank top and undies), and could see that his hair was raised and he had something trapped, but it was just around the corner of the house where I couldn't see what. I ran inside to find pants and shoes, but DH volunteered to check it out. I wasn't going to argue, since the last time Bob cornered something it was a rat snake.
It turned out to be a plastic bag. I'm so glad to know that Bob is willing to protect us from those vicious plastic bags. Especially when he will let any human into the house without so much as a growl, and will love you forever if you scratch his ears.
We spent the rest of the days running back to school errands (and saw The Odd Life of Timothy Green. It was a bit boring and a bit sad.) It was a really nice girlie day.
Finally, we headed to the school for meet the teacher, which had been advertised in several places as being from 4-6 pm. And when we got there at 4:15 we were informed that we couldn't meet the teachers until 5. WTF? And then it came flooding back to me that they pulled this same crap last year. At least I didn't leave work early to be there at 4:00 (like last year).
So now we're killing time before we go back to school.
8/19/12
Food and Family
With only one week left until school starts, I spent my weekend cooking. I'm always happiest when my freezer is full. It was a perfect, rainy weekend for my cookathon, and everybody pitched in. PS pretty much hates cooking, but the twins like helping out. Especially when they get to use a big knife. I Tom Sawyered them into chopping up 5 pounds of cooked chicken breast.
Meanwhile, things are not going well with the extended family. My mother has been admitted to the hospital twice in the last week for infection. DH's grandmother broke her hip Friday and had surgery on Saturday. My brother, who is going through an ugly divorce, called to tell me that my grandparents' (on my dad's side) dementia was getting really bad. And my grandfather (on my mother's side) just found out that his cancer has spread to his lymph nodes and spleen and he is in kidney failure.
My poor aunt has been keeping me updated with the grandfather issues, in part because there have been legal issues that go along with it. A few months ago she discovered that my grandfather was engaging in behavior that was putting himself and my (step) grandmother in danger. There had been a couple of mysterious break-ins at their house and my grandfather had been beaten in the last one.
My grandmother's kids (who all live in other towns) came down, evaluated the situation, and decided to take her back home with them. Her dementia was becoming more advanced, and my grandfather wasn't able to take care of her. And the house was full of bedbugs.
Thankfully, I had them both execute powers of attorney a couple of years ago.* It was time to start using them. My grandfather was moved into a nursing home, but has been kicked out of two of them already for inappropriate behavior. Hopefully, number 3 will stick. My aunt was left to deal with him and close out the house--which has been no easy task. It all seemed to happen really fast, and now it appears that my grandfather has only a few months left.
I feel like I should be more upset, but I was never particularly close to this grandfather. These were not warm, fuzzy grandparents who ever cared much about hanging out with their grandchildren. The most quality time I ever spent with him was when he was in a halfway house in my college town after being released from federal prison. I was the only person he knew in that town, and I diligently went to visit every Thursday evening during the 3 month period that he was required to stay there.
After I graduated college and became a SAHM (before I went to law school), he informed me that I had wasted my education (not that he or anybody else on that side of the family had ever graduated from college). And he didn't have much use for lawyers, either, since his didn't manage to keep him out of the pen. I was pretentious for getting a graduate degree, when I hadn't even made use of my undergrad degree.
I actually haven't spoken to him at all since my MIL died and he tried to hit me up for money while we were camped out at hospice--that's been 2.5 years. My uncle wants to have a birthday party for him next month. I suppose we will go. There seem to be lots of things pulling us toward a trip to Hometown, but I will admit that I am not looking forward to it. My messed up family is why I moved so far away. I like my boring, quiet life in the suburbs.
*Please make sure you have general and medical powers of attorney. I just did a pro bono guardianship of an elderly woman, and it is expensive and involves a lot of ongoing paperwork. It could have been avoided if a power of attorney had been signed while she still had full capacity. You do not want to do that to your children! (Yes, I know I'm preaching to the choir!)
Meanwhile, things are not going well with the extended family. My mother has been admitted to the hospital twice in the last week for infection. DH's grandmother broke her hip Friday and had surgery on Saturday. My brother, who is going through an ugly divorce, called to tell me that my grandparents' (on my dad's side) dementia was getting really bad. And my grandfather (on my mother's side) just found out that his cancer has spread to his lymph nodes and spleen and he is in kidney failure.
My poor aunt has been keeping me updated with the grandfather issues, in part because there have been legal issues that go along with it. A few months ago she discovered that my grandfather was engaging in behavior that was putting himself and my (step) grandmother in danger. There had been a couple of mysterious break-ins at their house and my grandfather had been beaten in the last one.
My grandmother's kids (who all live in other towns) came down, evaluated the situation, and decided to take her back home with them. Her dementia was becoming more advanced, and my grandfather wasn't able to take care of her. And the house was full of bedbugs.
Thankfully, I had them both execute powers of attorney a couple of years ago.* It was time to start using them. My grandfather was moved into a nursing home, but has been kicked out of two of them already for inappropriate behavior. Hopefully, number 3 will stick. My aunt was left to deal with him and close out the house--which has been no easy task. It all seemed to happen really fast, and now it appears that my grandfather has only a few months left.
I feel like I should be more upset, but I was never particularly close to this grandfather. These were not warm, fuzzy grandparents who ever cared much about hanging out with their grandchildren. The most quality time I ever spent with him was when he was in a halfway house in my college town after being released from federal prison. I was the only person he knew in that town, and I diligently went to visit every Thursday evening during the 3 month period that he was required to stay there.
After I graduated college and became a SAHM (before I went to law school), he informed me that I had wasted my education (not that he or anybody else on that side of the family had ever graduated from college). And he didn't have much use for lawyers, either, since his didn't manage to keep him out of the pen. I was pretentious for getting a graduate degree, when I hadn't even made use of my undergrad degree.
I actually haven't spoken to him at all since my MIL died and he tried to hit me up for money while we were camped out at hospice--that's been 2.5 years. My uncle wants to have a birthday party for him next month. I suppose we will go. There seem to be lots of things pulling us toward a trip to Hometown, but I will admit that I am not looking forward to it. My messed up family is why I moved so far away. I like my boring, quiet life in the suburbs.
*Please make sure you have general and medical powers of attorney. I just did a pro bono guardianship of an elderly woman, and it is expensive and involves a lot of ongoing paperwork. It could have been avoided if a power of attorney had been signed while she still had full capacity. You do not want to do that to your children! (Yes, I know I'm preaching to the choir!)
8/17/12
I am a Jinx
Earlier this summer we were supposed to vacation in Colorado Springs. Our vacation was scheduled for the week after the fires started there. So we made it a staycation instead. It was fine, the downtime was nice, but I've been jonesing to get out of town. I'd still love to go to Colorado, but it's much too far for a weekend trip.
So I thought we'd do a little beach trip over Labor Day. And then this morning I heard on the radio that dead fish were washing up on the beach by the thousands. Gross.
I'm beginning to think that I am a magnet for natural disasters. Or that karma wants me to stay home.
We're trying to come up with an alternative solution--but by now most everything is booked up. Man, I need a lake house. But that seems unlikely with three college educations to pay for (not to mention my own JD). Man, I need to inherit a lake house from some unknown, elderly relative who lived a long and happy life.
So I thought we'd do a little beach trip over Labor Day. And then this morning I heard on the radio that dead fish were washing up on the beach by the thousands. Gross.
I'm beginning to think that I am a magnet for natural disasters. Or that karma wants me to stay home.
We're trying to come up with an alternative solution--but by now most everything is booked up. Man, I need a lake house. But that seems unlikely with three college educations to pay for (not to mention my own JD). Man, I need to inherit a lake house from some unknown, elderly relative who lived a long and happy life.
8/14/12
Senorita Fashionista
As I was walking through my parking garage at work today, a complete stranger came up to me and said, "Can I ask you something? Do I look tacky?"
"I'm sorry?" I asked confusedly.
"Is this outfit tacky?" she said.
"No, you look nice," I said.
"Are these purple shoes ok with this outfit?" she said.
"Yes, they are exactly the pop of color you needed for your outfit," I said. (She was wearing a black top and a black bias-cut skirt with a white stripe through it, and deep purple heels.)
Very strange. And yet, I was somewhat disappointed that she wasn't horribly dressed. Oh how many times have I wished strangers would ask me for fashion advice. There have been plenty of times I could have helped a girl out, but it just wasn't appropriate to do so. I definitely think more complete strangers should start asking me for fashion advice.
"I'm sorry?" I asked confusedly.
"Is this outfit tacky?" she said.
"No, you look nice," I said.
"Are these purple shoes ok with this outfit?" she said.
"Yes, they are exactly the pop of color you needed for your outfit," I said. (She was wearing a black top and a black bias-cut skirt with a white stripe through it, and deep purple heels.)
Very strange. And yet, I was somewhat disappointed that she wasn't horribly dressed. Oh how many times have I wished strangers would ask me for fashion advice. There have been plenty of times I could have helped a girl out, but it just wasn't appropriate to do so. I definitely think more complete strangers should start asking me for fashion advice.
8/12/12
Sunday Scrambling
I have a reply brief due on Monday. I thought I was done with it, and then at 5:15 this evening, Partner sends another section that he wants me to add. Which put me over my page limits. Argggghhhh! This is the same partner who gave me his revisions at 6:30 Friday night--including those for the client's supporting affidavit. Grumble.
I like Partner, but he is a major procrastinator. I HATE working under a deadline like this. Yes, I may be the only lawyer on the planet who gets stuff out ahead of time. Now I will be scrambling tomorrow to create my appendix and finalize my cites to the sequentially-numbered appendix. Double grumble. I guess the bright (or not) side is that the fed courts have a midnight filing deadline, unlike the 5:00 state court deadline.
P.S. In case you were wondering, SS's cardiologist appointment went great. We saw the father of TT's cardiologist, and I swear he was 90 years old, but still sharp as a tack. He said that TT has an "innocent murmur" and that her heart is perfectly normal. Apparently they just pop up sometimes in toddlers and adolescents, hang around for a year or two, and then disappear. She does not have the same condition as her twin.
I like Partner, but he is a major procrastinator. I HATE working under a deadline like this. Yes, I may be the only lawyer on the planet who gets stuff out ahead of time. Now I will be scrambling tomorrow to create my appendix and finalize my cites to the sequentially-numbered appendix. Double grumble. I guess the bright (or not) side is that the fed courts have a midnight filing deadline, unlike the 5:00 state court deadline.
P.S. In case you were wondering, SS's cardiologist appointment went great. We saw the father of TT's cardiologist, and I swear he was 90 years old, but still sharp as a tack. He said that TT has an "innocent murmur" and that her heart is perfectly normal. Apparently they just pop up sometimes in toddlers and adolescents, hang around for a year or two, and then disappear. She does not have the same condition as her twin.
8/8/12
Winding Down and Gearing Up
We have 2.5 weeks left of summer. Sigh. We did a road trip on Saturday, which TT declared "the best day ever." We toured caverns, swam in a natural spring-fed pool that was a perfect 68 degrees on a 101 degree day, and watched a colony of bats emerge from their habitat at dusk. (The trip was all about the bats--my kids are obsessed with them!) It was a nice little getaway and we crammed a lot into that day.
I'm really not ready for back-to-school craziness, but it's already begun. TT started summer band this week. I may be more excited than she is. I was a total band geek, and I'm psyched to have one of my three kids following in my footsteps.
PS has high school orientation next week. I am not excited about that. I am not adjusting well to the fact that I have a kid going into high school. I'm not that old. She's not that old. I'm not ready to give her up in 4 years. (Why did I grade-accelerate her? She'll go to college when she's 17!)
And SS has an orthodontist and a cardiologist appointment in the next week, as I try to squeeze everything in before school starts. The cardio appointment is in an abundance of caution by our GP. TT has very, very mild pulmonary valve stenosis and has been seeing a cardiologist since she was a toddler. The GP couldn't even hear TT's murmur, but thought she might have heard something in SS. And since they're identical, she thought it best to have it checked out. (Although I would swear we had asked the cardio about SS at some point, apparently there's no record of it.) So, anyway, I am surprisingly not worried about this appointment, even though pediatric and cardiologist are two words that should not go together.
Work has been concerningly slow for most of the summer, but has picked up this week. I'm sure it will all pick up just in time for the back-to-school madness.
I'm really not ready for back-to-school craziness, but it's already begun. TT started summer band this week. I may be more excited than she is. I was a total band geek, and I'm psyched to have one of my three kids following in my footsteps.
PS has high school orientation next week. I am not excited about that. I am not adjusting well to the fact that I have a kid going into high school. I'm not that old. She's not that old. I'm not ready to give her up in 4 years. (Why did I grade-accelerate her? She'll go to college when she's 17!)
And SS has an orthodontist and a cardiologist appointment in the next week, as I try to squeeze everything in before school starts. The cardio appointment is in an abundance of caution by our GP. TT has very, very mild pulmonary valve stenosis and has been seeing a cardiologist since she was a toddler. The GP couldn't even hear TT's murmur, but thought she might have heard something in SS. And since they're identical, she thought it best to have it checked out. (Although I would swear we had asked the cardio about SS at some point, apparently there's no record of it.) So, anyway, I am surprisingly not worried about this appointment, even though pediatric and cardiologist are two words that should not go together.
Work has been concerningly slow for most of the summer, but has picked up this week. I'm sure it will all pick up just in time for the back-to-school madness.
7/23/12
Ghosts From the Past
My brother just moved into a new apartment only to learn that his next-door neighbor is our former stepfather. A man neither of us have seen in more than 20 years, and quite frankly, hoped dead. A man who regularly beat my mother, and less regularly, my brother.*
I used to lie in bed at night, imagining what I would do the next time he attacked her. There was a gun in the top of her closet. I knew how to use it, and he didn't. But I wasn't sure I could bring myself to actually shoot someone--and I knew the danger was too high if I wasn't successful. My alternative plan was to take her big iron skillet to the back of his head. But again, I was afraid of the consequences if I wasn't strong enough to knock him out. And so when he attacked her, we usually just ran to the neighbors and called the police. And time after time, she took him back, even with breaks, bruises and hospital visits.
If you think it's ok to stay with a man who hits you, as long as he's not hitting the kids, you're wrong. First, you don't know when he's going to turn on the kids. But the scars from watching my mother attacked over and over again, while she refused to remove herself and us from that situation, are as deep as any physical wound. It is the primary reason for the wedge between us. There was no reason not to leave. He offered little financial contribution (he worked construction and often went weeks between jobs), and I can't name a single redeeming quality about him. She had family all around who could have helped her out. I will never understand why she didn't leave--and why she chose him over us.
I asked my brother if he said anything to him--told him that my inclination would be to sucker punch him. But my brother said he is old and frail now. He was 10-15 years older than my mother, and probably in his late 70's now. My brother is 6'/250lbs--no longer the scrawny kid who used to get his bare ass beat with a belt.
I think I would have to move, in my brother's situation. There is still too much anger there, even after 20 years.
*He didn't mess with me, much. He once pinned me to a wall, but backed off when I kneed him in the balls. He slapped me once, hard enough to knock me into the refrigerator. I moved in with my dad that day, and told my mother, "him or me." She chose him.
I used to lie in bed at night, imagining what I would do the next time he attacked her. There was a gun in the top of her closet. I knew how to use it, and he didn't. But I wasn't sure I could bring myself to actually shoot someone--and I knew the danger was too high if I wasn't successful. My alternative plan was to take her big iron skillet to the back of his head. But again, I was afraid of the consequences if I wasn't strong enough to knock him out. And so when he attacked her, we usually just ran to the neighbors and called the police. And time after time, she took him back, even with breaks, bruises and hospital visits.
If you think it's ok to stay with a man who hits you, as long as he's not hitting the kids, you're wrong. First, you don't know when he's going to turn on the kids. But the scars from watching my mother attacked over and over again, while she refused to remove herself and us from that situation, are as deep as any physical wound. It is the primary reason for the wedge between us. There was no reason not to leave. He offered little financial contribution (he worked construction and often went weeks between jobs), and I can't name a single redeeming quality about him. She had family all around who could have helped her out. I will never understand why she didn't leave--and why she chose him over us.
I asked my brother if he said anything to him--told him that my inclination would be to sucker punch him. But my brother said he is old and frail now. He was 10-15 years older than my mother, and probably in his late 70's now. My brother is 6'/250lbs--no longer the scrawny kid who used to get his bare ass beat with a belt.
I think I would have to move, in my brother's situation. There is still too much anger there, even after 20 years.
*He didn't mess with me, much. He once pinned me to a wall, but backed off when I kneed him in the balls. He slapped me once, hard enough to knock me into the refrigerator. I moved in with my dad that day, and told my mother, "him or me." She chose him.
7/19/12
Still Here
I survived, in case you were worried about me. The plane was tiny--like a compact car with wings. But the pilot was a retired commercial pilot, and the flight was smooth. It was really not a bad way to travel. Not quite as fast as a jet, but when you factor in all the time saved from not having to stand in security lines (and, bonus!, no body scanners), it worked out about the same.
Meanwhile, it's birthdaypalooza around here. Today is DH's b-day, which commenced with our traditional birthday morning dance party to the Beatles' Birthday Song. He's winding up his day with PS at the midnight premiere of the Dark Knight Rises. Thankfully he has a teenage daughter to accompany him, because I am definitely too old to be out until 3:00 am.
The twins' b-day is next week, and their party a week from Saturday. I sent out Evites last week and we have had 2 no's and one yes. No other responses (not even from their BFF!). I don't know what we'll do if we don't get more yesses. TT and SS will be broken hearted, and I've ordered a ton of stuff and lined up a friend to bake each kid her own cake.
They've never had a big birthday party with all of their friends before because it's just so hard to pin people down in the middle of summer. We had a pretty big guest list, hoping that at least half would be able to come. Maybe it's just too early--we're usually lucky if we get a week's notice of a party.
Work is slow, but that's pretty typical for summer. You can't schedule anything because somebody is always on vacation. The slower pace is nice--but it would be more appreciated during the hecticness of the school year. We've only got a month of summer left, and I'm not ready for it to end. I love the extra time with my girlies when we don't have to worry about homework or bedtimes.
Meanwhile, it's birthdaypalooza around here. Today is DH's b-day, which commenced with our traditional birthday morning dance party to the Beatles' Birthday Song. He's winding up his day with PS at the midnight premiere of the Dark Knight Rises. Thankfully he has a teenage daughter to accompany him, because I am definitely too old to be out until 3:00 am.
The twins' b-day is next week, and their party a week from Saturday. I sent out Evites last week and we have had 2 no's and one yes. No other responses (not even from their BFF!). I don't know what we'll do if we don't get more yesses. TT and SS will be broken hearted, and I've ordered a ton of stuff and lined up a friend to bake each kid her own cake.
They've never had a big birthday party with all of their friends before because it's just so hard to pin people down in the middle of summer. We had a pretty big guest list, hoping that at least half would be able to come. Maybe it's just too early--we're usually lucky if we get a week's notice of a party.
Work is slow, but that's pretty typical for summer. You can't schedule anything because somebody is always on vacation. The slower pace is nice--but it would be more appreciated during the hecticness of the school year. We've only got a month of summer left, and I'm not ready for it to end. I love the extra time with my girlies when we don't have to worry about homework or bedtimes.
7/16/12
Flying Ducts
So tomorrow I have to attend an out-of-town site inspection. And the client is flying us down on his private plane.
I'm not too excited about this. I would far rather take a full-size commercial jetliner than a teeny-tiny private plane. As DH said, "those things crash all the time!" (He's not too excited about this, either.)
Anyway, I worked until about 7:30 tonight, tying up loose ends in case today is my last day on earth. Then met DH and the girlies for a quick dinner and finally made it home about 8:30, where I spent half an hour staring into my closet trying to figure out what the heck I am wearing tomorrow.
The problem: nearly all of my pants are hemmed for heels. Heels are not appropriate for a site inspection. Usually I wear a nice pair of dark jeans, and that is perfectly appropriate and very much in line with what all of the other attorneys are wearing to these things.
But one of the big bosses is going, and the big bosses tend to err on the side of formal and I think he will be all frowny if I show up in jeans.
I recall that I have one pair of black pants hiding in the back of my closet that I bought specifically to wear with my one pair of flats. They've been back there so long there is a line of dust where they fold over the hanger. I put them on, excited to see that they fit.
Well, kinda. They fit, but I'm left with a muffin top. You know those 10 pounds that I lost when I quit eating bread? Well, I've gained 5 of them back thanks to Sonic's half-price milkshakes after 8:00. I can't find a shirt to hide that muffin top. It ain't pretty.
By 9:00 I decide that I am having a fashion emergency and must buy new pants. Of course, the only stores in town that are still open are Kohls and Target, and I have to be at the airport at 7:30 in the morning. Kohls it is, and my little fashionista, SS, comes along to give me advice (and manages to score a new pair of shoes off the clearance rack!).
I try on approximately 300 pairs of pants, before coming up with something suitable. They're a bit too big, but at least there's no muffin top. And they're too long to wear with my flats.
Back home by 10:00, and I have to figure out how to hem my pants. I can sew, but I don't do clothes, and I'm pretty sure it will look like crap if I try. Not to mention that all of my sewing supplies are shoved willy-nilly into a closet since we turned my sewing room into TT's bedroom. That includes the iron-on hem tape that would be oh-so-handy right about now.
So I turn to duct tape. It will fix anything, right? And I have used duct tape to fix a hem in an emergency before (staples actually work better, but are more visible--I am notorious for catching a heel in my hem.).
And so I iron a sharp crease at the new hemline and proceed to hem my pants with pink and black zebra-striped duct tape. Fingers crossed that it holds, because there is an enormous opportunity here for me to make a total fool of myself.
Fingers and toes crossed that I make it home in one piece tomorrow. Hopefully the plane is held together with more than duct tape. If you don't hear back from me after this, it was nice knowing you.
I'm not too excited about this. I would far rather take a full-size commercial jetliner than a teeny-tiny private plane. As DH said, "those things crash all the time!" (He's not too excited about this, either.)
Anyway, I worked until about 7:30 tonight, tying up loose ends in case today is my last day on earth. Then met DH and the girlies for a quick dinner and finally made it home about 8:30, where I spent half an hour staring into my closet trying to figure out what the heck I am wearing tomorrow.
The problem: nearly all of my pants are hemmed for heels. Heels are not appropriate for a site inspection. Usually I wear a nice pair of dark jeans, and that is perfectly appropriate and very much in line with what all of the other attorneys are wearing to these things.
But one of the big bosses is going, and the big bosses tend to err on the side of formal and I think he will be all frowny if I show up in jeans.
I recall that I have one pair of black pants hiding in the back of my closet that I bought specifically to wear with my one pair of flats. They've been back there so long there is a line of dust where they fold over the hanger. I put them on, excited to see that they fit.
Well, kinda. They fit, but I'm left with a muffin top. You know those 10 pounds that I lost when I quit eating bread? Well, I've gained 5 of them back thanks to Sonic's half-price milkshakes after 8:00. I can't find a shirt to hide that muffin top. It ain't pretty.
By 9:00 I decide that I am having a fashion emergency and must buy new pants. Of course, the only stores in town that are still open are Kohls and Target, and I have to be at the airport at 7:30 in the morning. Kohls it is, and my little fashionista, SS, comes along to give me advice (and manages to score a new pair of shoes off the clearance rack!).
I try on approximately 300 pairs of pants, before coming up with something suitable. They're a bit too big, but at least there's no muffin top. And they're too long to wear with my flats.
Back home by 10:00, and I have to figure out how to hem my pants. I can sew, but I don't do clothes, and I'm pretty sure it will look like crap if I try. Not to mention that all of my sewing supplies are shoved willy-nilly into a closet since we turned my sewing room into TT's bedroom. That includes the iron-on hem tape that would be oh-so-handy right about now.
So I turn to duct tape. It will fix anything, right? And I have used duct tape to fix a hem in an emergency before (staples actually work better, but are more visible--I am notorious for catching a heel in my hem.).
And so I iron a sharp crease at the new hemline and proceed to hem my pants with pink and black zebra-striped duct tape. Fingers crossed that it holds, because there is an enormous opportunity here for me to make a total fool of myself.
Fingers and toes crossed that I make it home in one piece tomorrow. Hopefully the plane is held together with more than duct tape. If you don't hear back from me after this, it was nice knowing you.
7/14/12
Kid Stuff
We got the girls' rooms painted and they are settled back in. The new colors look awesome. We did manage a checkerboard in PS's room by cutting big squares of black contact paper and sticking them on top of the dark purple paint. I'm sure it was 1000 times easier than trying to paint a checkerboard, and it looks really good (and cost $14 for the contact paper!)
PS continues with her pseudo-goth look. Right now she is begging me to let her dye her hair jet-black (from her natural dark brown). She's almost 14 and going into high school. Hair color is not a hill I want to die on, but I wish it weren't black. My stylist said that if she did it, it would be really hard to get out again. Sigh. I promised her a decision by this morning.
TT and SS have a birthday this month and are dying for iPod touches. I refuse to buy them, because I don't think they take care of things well enough, and I think it's too much to spend on a gadget for an 11 year old. But I did tell them that if they can come up with half the money, I would pay the other half as their birthday present.
We'll see if they can do it. They don't have much saved up because they tend to get distracted and spend their money on every bright, shiny object they see. Their current plan is to have a garage sale. I'm glad to see them trying to earn the money--and cleaning out their closets. I hate garage sales though--I'd far rather donate my junk. And I don't think they have enough stuff to get them there. But maybe that plus some birthday money from the grandparents will get them close.
Meanwhile, we're bringing back the Amazing Race/scavenger hunt party that we did for PS a couple of years ago. It was a lot of work, but so much fun. I love planning parties!
PS continues with her pseudo-goth look. Right now she is begging me to let her dye her hair jet-black (from her natural dark brown). She's almost 14 and going into high school. Hair color is not a hill I want to die on, but I wish it weren't black. My stylist said that if she did it, it would be really hard to get out again. Sigh. I promised her a decision by this morning.
TT and SS have a birthday this month and are dying for iPod touches. I refuse to buy them, because I don't think they take care of things well enough, and I think it's too much to spend on a gadget for an 11 year old. But I did tell them that if they can come up with half the money, I would pay the other half as their birthday present.
We'll see if they can do it. They don't have much saved up because they tend to get distracted and spend their money on every bright, shiny object they see. Their current plan is to have a garage sale. I'm glad to see them trying to earn the money--and cleaning out their closets. I hate garage sales though--I'd far rather donate my junk. And I don't think they have enough stuff to get them there. But maybe that plus some birthday money from the grandparents will get them close.
Meanwhile, we're bringing back the Amazing Race/scavenger hunt party that we did for PS a couple of years ago. It was a lot of work, but so much fun. I love planning parties!
6/30/12
Awkward!
I ran out of the house at 8:00 this morning to go to Lowe's for paint to finish up my projects before DH gets back in town (he is retrieving SS from fashion camp). I didn't bother to put on any makeup for my trek to Lowe's and my slightly greasy hair was pulled haphazardly into a ponytail/bun thing. I didn't see any point in showering until after I painted.
On the way home I stopped by Starbucks for some much needed coffee, somewhat nervously pulling into a parking space filled with 4 Harleys. I immediately spotted the bikers, and then immediately recognized one of them as a client. He looked right at me, but didn't show any hint of recognition.
What to do? I didn't want to appear rude, and I was praying he didn't recognize me. I was about as far as humanly possible from the made-up, coiffed, stiletto-and-suit-wearing lawyer he had previously met.
And I could not remember his name. I think it may be John. I had only worked with him on one matter, for a short time, several months ago. We had met only once or twice. Even if I were willing to present my self in my sloppy-Saturday-morning state, I wasn't sure how to initiate conversation--especially if he didn't remember me. "Hey, uh, client guy. I'm your lawyer, remember me?"
So what did I do? I ignored him. Our backs were to each other the rest of the time I was ordering, so there was no more awkward meeting of the eyes. Hopefully, he didn't recognize me at all, or though I looked only vaguely familiar (I frequently get "you look familiar" from complete strangers.) Or maybe he's just relieved that he didn't have to introduce his lawyer to his biker buddies.
On the way home I stopped by Starbucks for some much needed coffee, somewhat nervously pulling into a parking space filled with 4 Harleys. I immediately spotted the bikers, and then immediately recognized one of them as a client. He looked right at me, but didn't show any hint of recognition.
What to do? I didn't want to appear rude, and I was praying he didn't recognize me. I was about as far as humanly possible from the made-up, coiffed, stiletto-and-suit-wearing lawyer he had previously met.
And I could not remember his name. I think it may be John. I had only worked with him on one matter, for a short time, several months ago. We had met only once or twice. Even if I were willing to present my self in my sloppy-Saturday-morning state, I wasn't sure how to initiate conversation--especially if he didn't remember me. "Hey, uh, client guy. I'm your lawyer, remember me?"
So what did I do? I ignored him. Our backs were to each other the rest of the time I was ordering, so there was no more awkward meeting of the eyes. Hopefully, he didn't recognize me at all, or though I looked only vaguely familiar (I frequently get "you look familiar" from complete strangers.) Or maybe he's just relieved that he didn't have to introduce his lawyer to his biker buddies.
6/24/12
The Bits and Pieces of Life
Work has been super-slow for the last week. In fact, I left the office early every single day. I really need to get over feeling guilty when I leave the office before 6:00 p.m.--especially when I don't have anything to do anyway.
DH and I had a mini-date night on Wednesday while we did a trial run of the summer nanny. (Yes! I found someone. In fact, I found a few and had a really tough time making a decision.) We did the batting cages (It sounded like so much fun after he went with TT) and then had snow cones. It was so much fun! The batting cages are very therapeutic--I just envisioned the faces of all the assholes I had to deal with lately, and bam!, I was knocking them out of the park.
I've been painting all weekend. PS talked me into doing her room while I did TT's new room, and I somehow reasoned that it would be easiest to knock both out at once. I am sore today, after spending the last 36 hours up and down ladders. The kids get to roll on the easy middle part of the wall while I do the edge work up high and down low. Both rooms are looking great, though. TT's room is a tranquil blue that feels very "under the sea" PS's room is a deep purple (4 coats!) with a black accent wall. She has been trying to talk me into painting a purple-and-black checkerboard on one wall, but I'm not sure I'm up for the work it would entail or that I could create sharp lines on our textured walls. We may try it with black contact paper instead of paint.
The painting has been good bonding time with PS. She never wants to hang out with the rest of us anymore, but she's been happy and chatty while we work on her room. Her BFF was over for a bit, DJing for us while we painted, and it was nice getting to listen to their chatter.
Tomorrow I'm driving SS to camp. The round-trip will be a full day in the car, but I'm kind of looking forward to it. TT will make the trip with us so I'll have company in the car on the way home. And the bonus is that I get to have a calzone from my favorite college restaurant--which are the best calzones in the world!
We are supposed to leave for a mini-vacation on Friday, but our destination has been evacuated because of wild fires. I think we're just going to cancel and do a stay-cation instead. We've had a few expenses lately that were affecting our vacation budget, anyway. (I really liked the 20" rims on my Armada until I had to buy new tires--ouch!)
DH and I had a mini-date night on Wednesday while we did a trial run of the summer nanny. (Yes! I found someone. In fact, I found a few and had a really tough time making a decision.) We did the batting cages (It sounded like so much fun after he went with TT) and then had snow cones. It was so much fun! The batting cages are very therapeutic--I just envisioned the faces of all the assholes I had to deal with lately, and bam!, I was knocking them out of the park.
I've been painting all weekend. PS talked me into doing her room while I did TT's new room, and I somehow reasoned that it would be easiest to knock both out at once. I am sore today, after spending the last 36 hours up and down ladders. The kids get to roll on the easy middle part of the wall while I do the edge work up high and down low. Both rooms are looking great, though. TT's room is a tranquil blue that feels very "under the sea" PS's room is a deep purple (4 coats!) with a black accent wall. She has been trying to talk me into painting a purple-and-black checkerboard on one wall, but I'm not sure I'm up for the work it would entail or that I could create sharp lines on our textured walls. We may try it with black contact paper instead of paint.
The painting has been good bonding time with PS. She never wants to hang out with the rest of us anymore, but she's been happy and chatty while we work on her room. Her BFF was over for a bit, DJing for us while we painted, and it was nice getting to listen to their chatter.
Tomorrow I'm driving SS to camp. The round-trip will be a full day in the car, but I'm kind of looking forward to it. TT will make the trip with us so I'll have company in the car on the way home. And the bonus is that I get to have a calzone from my favorite college restaurant--which are the best calzones in the world!
We are supposed to leave for a mini-vacation on Friday, but our destination has been evacuated because of wild fires. I think we're just going to cancel and do a stay-cation instead. We've had a few expenses lately that were affecting our vacation budget, anyway. (I really liked the 20" rims on my Armada until I had to buy new tires--ouch!)
6/22/12
Everybody Has Secrets
DH's family has always been Cleaver-normal--wide-eyed and amazed at the stories that hale from my side of the world. But on Wednesday DH got a text from his dad saying that DH's great-uncle had been arrested for indecency with a child. The Uncle was a prominent member of his small community and the story was expected to be in the news the next day.
My first question was, "did he ever do anything to anyone in the family?" We learned later that night that he had--decades ago--and that family member never came forward. Today we learned that it was another family member--now an adult--who reported him.
So, the news story broke today. I found it online and sent DH the link. All of the comments were typical disbelief and "he was such a nice guy." The molester is always a nice guy and upstanding citizen. (I also have an uncle who was convicted of child molestation and everyone who ever met him will tell you what a nice guy he is.)
And then, at the end of the day, DH checked the link again to read new comments. And that is how he learned that the Uncle had committed suicide about two-hours earlier.
No, the bastard media did not even allow time for the family to be notified before breaking the news. DH immediately called his dad, who hadn't heard yet, so that he could let other family members know (DH's grandmother is Uncle's sister).
The things this man did were heinous, and I am shedding no tears over the loss of his life. But it is so, so much for his family to deal with. He had children and grandchildren. A wife. His sisters. Who all have to deal with this horrible news and then a funeral on top of it all. (One of the sisters has a grandchild getting married--I can only imagine how this horrific tragedy is marring that joyous event.)
It is too much to process. DH knew nothing about his uncle's dark side. There is a mixture of hurt and anger toward those who did know and swept it under the rug. Why don't people come forward? Of course there are a million answers. But allowing someone to maintain his Mr. Nice Guy image just permits more victims. And I'm not necessarily referring to the victims. There were others who knew and did nothing, and sadly, that seems to be typical.
I don't know how to encourage people to expose molesters. Hopefully all of the high-profile cases of late that demonstrate so clearly how abusers will continue until they are stopped will help in that regard. We are wondering if that is what triggered this report, so many years later. But how many kids could have been saved if he had been stopped sooner?
My first question was, "did he ever do anything to anyone in the family?" We learned later that night that he had--decades ago--and that family member never came forward. Today we learned that it was another family member--now an adult--who reported him.
So, the news story broke today. I found it online and sent DH the link. All of the comments were typical disbelief and "he was such a nice guy." The molester is always a nice guy and upstanding citizen. (I also have an uncle who was convicted of child molestation and everyone who ever met him will tell you what a nice guy he is.)
And then, at the end of the day, DH checked the link again to read new comments. And that is how he learned that the Uncle had committed suicide about two-hours earlier.
No, the bastard media did not even allow time for the family to be notified before breaking the news. DH immediately called his dad, who hadn't heard yet, so that he could let other family members know (DH's grandmother is Uncle's sister).
The things this man did were heinous, and I am shedding no tears over the loss of his life. But it is so, so much for his family to deal with. He had children and grandchildren. A wife. His sisters. Who all have to deal with this horrible news and then a funeral on top of it all. (One of the sisters has a grandchild getting married--I can only imagine how this horrific tragedy is marring that joyous event.)
It is too much to process. DH knew nothing about his uncle's dark side. There is a mixture of hurt and anger toward those who did know and swept it under the rug. Why don't people come forward? Of course there are a million answers. But allowing someone to maintain his Mr. Nice Guy image just permits more victims. And I'm not necessarily referring to the victims. There were others who knew and did nothing, and sadly, that seems to be typical.
I don't know how to encourage people to expose molesters. Hopefully all of the high-profile cases of late that demonstrate so clearly how abusers will continue until they are stopped will help in that regard. We are wondering if that is what triggered this report, so many years later. But how many kids could have been saved if he had been stopped sooner?
6/16/12
Father's Day
We decided to give DH time with each of his girls this Father's Day. With three kids it's hard finding one-on-one time with each of them, and they seem to need it even more as they get older.This idea was triggered when I got a groupon for local batting cages. TT is playing softball, and it seemed like the perfect father-daughter outing. And he and PS were both dying to see the midnight showing of The Dark Night Rises that he mistakenly though was sold out already. Woot! Two gifts down for less than $40.
SS was a bit tougher. She is my girlie-girl, and I just couldn't see DH going for a pedi or an afternoon at the mall. We finally decided on tacos and target shooting--celebrating their mutual love of mexican food and shooting stuffed squirrels with a laser gun.
PS made an awesome comic strip outlining what his gifts are, and to round it all out, we heading out for a baseball game tomorrow afternoon.
Yay! It's so hard to shop for DH, but he seemed to really like what we came up with. (We gave it to him early so he could start scheduling his daddy-daughter dates.)
6/11/12
Here We Go Again
So, I've once again sighed up for care.com. This is where I found my last several nannies. I don't even want to count them up. I'm so frustrated with having to go through this process AGAIN.
I am very thorough. I usually have two interviews, do a complete background check (yes I do google applicants and check facebook and my findings have cost candidates the job), and then do a test-run where they stay with the girls for a couple of hours while DH and I stay nearby before we hire somebody. This process is unbelievably time consuming, and time is the one thing I do not have a lot of. (I tried to talk me secretary into doing preliminary interviews, but she refused!)(Yes, that's a joke. I do not ask my secretary to handle personal tasks.)
I don't think that our nanny turnover is because the pay is bad or we treat them poorly. I think being somewhat transitory is the nature of the late-teen/early-twenty somethings that I typically hire Our current nanny is heading to college in the fall and suddenly decided she wanted to take a summer session. Our former nanny was with us for a year before she went off to college (and she visits us whenever she is back in town) The one before that was with us a matter of weeks before she decided to move across the country to be with her twin (and stays in touch with the girls via email).
So why do I keep hiring 18-24 year olds?
Because the grandmotherly-type who was our nanny for two years got mad and quit after I refused to employ her full-time over the summer. Frankly, she just wasn't up to it--regardless of what she thought. She quit going upstairs (where the kids spend most of their time) and every time I came home she was doing crosswords downstairs while the kids ran amok. She started refusing to drive them places, and the was increasingly hostile toward PS. She needed to go, and I was glad I didn't have to fire her, but the twins were devastated by her sudden disappearance.
And because I like for my girls to have upwardly mobile role models. Girls who are in school and are working toward their goals. Because the older women who have applied for these position (and I almost hired one the last go-round) have not generally had great career aspirations. They just need something to pay the bills. (Of course, there are nannies who see it not as a job, but as a career, who are educated and have excellent qualifications. These nannies are generally seeking full time positions and pay beyond my budget.)
Because my girls like hanging out with younger people, and getting advice from them. (PS has been texting our former nanny with all her high school questions.) And because the younger people can help with homework.
And so, here we go again. I did find several local girls who are home from college for the summer and interested in hanging out with my girls, so I guess I'll spend this weekend interviewing. But even with all the trouble, I think in-my-home care is best for me and my girls. Especially as they get older. At least one of them is doing a half-day camp every day this month. And I just realized TT has summer band through half of August. I have no idea how we'll get them to and fro without someone to run them around.
I am very thorough. I usually have two interviews, do a complete background check (yes I do google applicants and check facebook and my findings have cost candidates the job), and then do a test-run where they stay with the girls for a couple of hours while DH and I stay nearby before we hire somebody. This process is unbelievably time consuming, and time is the one thing I do not have a lot of. (I tried to talk me secretary into doing preliminary interviews, but she refused!)(Yes, that's a joke. I do not ask my secretary to handle personal tasks.)
I don't think that our nanny turnover is because the pay is bad or we treat them poorly. I think being somewhat transitory is the nature of the late-teen/early-twenty somethings that I typically hire Our current nanny is heading to college in the fall and suddenly decided she wanted to take a summer session. Our former nanny was with us for a year before she went off to college (and she visits us whenever she is back in town) The one before that was with us a matter of weeks before she decided to move across the country to be with her twin (and stays in touch with the girls via email).
So why do I keep hiring 18-24 year olds?
Because the grandmotherly-type who was our nanny for two years got mad and quit after I refused to employ her full-time over the summer. Frankly, she just wasn't up to it--regardless of what she thought. She quit going upstairs (where the kids spend most of their time) and every time I came home she was doing crosswords downstairs while the kids ran amok. She started refusing to drive them places, and the was increasingly hostile toward PS. She needed to go, and I was glad I didn't have to fire her, but the twins were devastated by her sudden disappearance.
And because I like for my girls to have upwardly mobile role models. Girls who are in school and are working toward their goals. Because the older women who have applied for these position (and I almost hired one the last go-round) have not generally had great career aspirations. They just need something to pay the bills. (Of course, there are nannies who see it not as a job, but as a career, who are educated and have excellent qualifications. These nannies are generally seeking full time positions and pay beyond my budget.)
Because my girls like hanging out with younger people, and getting advice from them. (PS has been texting our former nanny with all her high school questions.) And because the younger people can help with homework.
And so, here we go again. I did find several local girls who are home from college for the summer and interested in hanging out with my girls, so I guess I'll spend this weekend interviewing. But even with all the trouble, I think in-my-home care is best for me and my girls. Especially as they get older. At least one of them is doing a half-day camp every day this month. And I just realized TT has summer band through half of August. I have no idea how we'll get them to and fro without someone to run them around.
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