I'm in Hometown for the holiday and to finally probate MIL's estate. Yesterday the girls and I went to lunch with my mother at this tiny dive with awesome burgers on the most delicious homemade buns I've ever eaten.
Apparently my mother and stepdad are in there nearly every day and everybody knows them. My mother introduced our waitress as the lady who also cleans their house.
And then the waitress said, "you look really familiar, did you go to school here?"
It turns out that we went to high school together. We weren't friends, and I only vaguely remembered her, although she seemed to have a better recollection of me.
She asked where I was living and what I was doing. I tried to dodge the question the first time, but she asked again, more pointedly.
Never have I wanted less to admit that I am a lawyer--especially a Big City lawyer. It just felt like bragging. And went I finally 'fessed up, she said, "That's great. I'm just a waitress." How do you respond to that? I said something lame that I can't fully recall.
I went to a disadvantaged high school. Lower socioeconomic status. A lot of gangs and fighting. A lot of teen pregnancy. Not a lot of parent involvement. I'm in the minority of kids who went on to college, and certainly who now have grad degrees. And while I worked hard to pull myself out of that situation and make a better life, I am also very lucky to have been blessed with brains, which made it a whole lot easier.
It was just a totally awkward situation.
And now for an Easter funny:
Last night SIL asked my adorable 3-year-old nephew if he wanted to dye eggs. He got a horrified look on his face and said, with much disgust, "Why? Why do we want to die the eggs?"
3/31/13
3/28/13
Advice for Young Lawyers: Quality over Quantity
I am working on a response to a 12(b)(6) motion. I rolled my eyes a bit because the author of the motion cited more than two dozen cases over about 5 pages. Not string cites, either. A new case for nearly every.single.sentence. Really, you couldn't find a single case that supported more than one point in the same paragraph? Id is your friend.
But my irritation at having to pull and read all those cases was quickly squelched when I read the very first case she cited. She completely misstated the holding of the case--asserting that it holds the opposite of what it really does! Clearly the Author was so busy throwing as much authority as possible at her point that she didn't bother to thoroughly read her cases. She picked out the good nuggets and ignored the rest.
Not only does this give me ammo that destroys her arguments, but it's also all the ammo I need for my own argument. I have my ace-in-the-whole case, and the other side handed it over on a silver platter.
This isn't the first time another party gave me good authority because they didn't thoroughly analyze their cases, but it is the most dramatic. Read you cases!
And really, a handful of solid cases is all you need to support any given argument. It's ok to cite a case more than once. Really.
But my irritation at having to pull and read all those cases was quickly squelched when I read the very first case she cited. She completely misstated the holding of the case--asserting that it holds the opposite of what it really does! Clearly the Author was so busy throwing as much authority as possible at her point that she didn't bother to thoroughly read her cases. She picked out the good nuggets and ignored the rest.
Not only does this give me ammo that destroys her arguments, but it's also all the ammo I need for my own argument. I have my ace-in-the-whole case, and the other side handed it over on a silver platter.
This isn't the first time another party gave me good authority because they didn't thoroughly analyze their cases, but it is the most dramatic. Read you cases!
And really, a handful of solid cases is all you need to support any given argument. It's ok to cite a case more than once. Really.
3/23/13
Sometimes Being a Parent Sucks
...And Sometimes it is Awesome
The Suck
It came to our attention late Tuesday that PS, my formerly straight A student, is failing geometry. She has struggled with geometry all year, but always managed at least a B when push came to shove.
She really bombed a test a couple of weeks ago. But so did everyone else, so we didn't worry too much. (We can see class averages and medians in the gradebook, plus PS has some insight on how her friends do.) But then she bombed the retake. And then she bombed two quizzes. And so things were looking really bad.
There is another test next week that could be a grade changer (tests count 60%, homework and quizzes 30%). But PS had a robotics competition Thursday - Saturday which would mean missing 2 days of school immediately before this test.
So what kind of parent lets their kid go to a robotics competition and miss two days of school when she is failing a class and has an upcoming exam in that class?
I emailed PS's teacher about what she would be missing and how detrimental it would be. She said there was a quiz that day that would be a good predictor of PS's success on the test.
And then on Wednesday we learned that PS failed that quiz, too.
And so we were left deciding whether to make her go to school and miss the one thing that she has been working on relentlessly for three months, or make her suffer the consequences of her grades.*
DH and I went back and forth. It seemed appropriate to make her miss the competition. She has spent a lot of energy on robotics and not so much on math. But on the other hand, she has worked really, really hard at robotics.
In the end, we let her go to the robotics competition. We weren't sure if it was the best decision, but it seemed unfair to take it away from her with so little notice. We also set forth a strict set of consequences and rules that she must follow until she is passing all classes again. And I hired a tutor for an intense session tomorrow and then weekly for however long she needs it. And one of the upperclassmen in robotics is going to tutor her during school.
And the Awesome
And now, we are so glad we let her go. On Friday one of the team's mentors came up to us and said, "Are you PS's parents? She is phenomenal." Yes, yes she is.
DH and PS have worked hard to put together the team's website and PS has been filming their competitions and practices and editing video to put on the website. And on Friday night we made trading cards with a QR code leading to their website, which the rest of the team was amazed by.
And today her team won the regionals and now are heading to the world championships in St. Louis next month! It was such a great weekend for her team and I'm so glad she got to be part of it.
Of course, she will not be going to the world championships if she doesn't pass geometry. But I think we have a good plan in place, and hopefully, with the help of the tutor she will rock her test next week.
I hated the idea of making her miss her competition, but I also don't want to be the mom who is afraid to parent when the going gets tough. And she is a genuinely good kid who works really hard. Hopefully we made the right decision and it will all work out ok. Because I really, really don't want to tell her that she can't go to the world championships because of her grades. But at least she already knows that consequence is on the table, which should be a good motivator.
*She wasn't automatically precluded because these grades haven't been reflected on a progress report or report card. Also, Pre-Ap classes are inexplicably excluded from the no pass-no play rule.
The Suck
It came to our attention late Tuesday that PS, my formerly straight A student, is failing geometry. She has struggled with geometry all year, but always managed at least a B when push came to shove.
She really bombed a test a couple of weeks ago. But so did everyone else, so we didn't worry too much. (We can see class averages and medians in the gradebook, plus PS has some insight on how her friends do.) But then she bombed the retake. And then she bombed two quizzes. And so things were looking really bad.
There is another test next week that could be a grade changer (tests count 60%, homework and quizzes 30%). But PS had a robotics competition Thursday - Saturday which would mean missing 2 days of school immediately before this test.
So what kind of parent lets their kid go to a robotics competition and miss two days of school when she is failing a class and has an upcoming exam in that class?
I emailed PS's teacher about what she would be missing and how detrimental it would be. She said there was a quiz that day that would be a good predictor of PS's success on the test.
And then on Wednesday we learned that PS failed that quiz, too.
And so we were left deciding whether to make her go to school and miss the one thing that she has been working on relentlessly for three months, or make her suffer the consequences of her grades.*
DH and I went back and forth. It seemed appropriate to make her miss the competition. She has spent a lot of energy on robotics and not so much on math. But on the other hand, she has worked really, really hard at robotics.
In the end, we let her go to the robotics competition. We weren't sure if it was the best decision, but it seemed unfair to take it away from her with so little notice. We also set forth a strict set of consequences and rules that she must follow until she is passing all classes again. And I hired a tutor for an intense session tomorrow and then weekly for however long she needs it. And one of the upperclassmen in robotics is going to tutor her during school.
And the Awesome
And now, we are so glad we let her go. On Friday one of the team's mentors came up to us and said, "Are you PS's parents? She is phenomenal." Yes, yes she is.
DH and PS have worked hard to put together the team's website and PS has been filming their competitions and practices and editing video to put on the website. And on Friday night we made trading cards with a QR code leading to their website, which the rest of the team was amazed by.
And today her team won the regionals and now are heading to the world championships in St. Louis next month! It was such a great weekend for her team and I'm so glad she got to be part of it.
Of course, she will not be going to the world championships if she doesn't pass geometry. But I think we have a good plan in place, and hopefully, with the help of the tutor she will rock her test next week.
I hated the idea of making her miss her competition, but I also don't want to be the mom who is afraid to parent when the going gets tough. And she is a genuinely good kid who works really hard. Hopefully we made the right decision and it will all work out ok. Because I really, really don't want to tell her that she can't go to the world championships because of her grades. But at least she already knows that consequence is on the table, which should be a good motivator.
*She wasn't automatically precluded because these grades haven't been reflected on a progress report or report card. Also, Pre-Ap classes are inexplicably excluded from the no pass-no play rule.
3/15/13
Shopping!
So, we have been on a money diet for the past several weeks. We just kinda suck at budgeting, and I have been growing more concerned about the kids' rising expenses and paying for college, and we just decided that it was time to have a reboot of our finances. (You think it will get better once you get past diapers and formula and daycare. Ha! All that money and more goes to classes and camps and lessons and school trips and yearbooks and club dues and about a million other things.) Anyway, we have strictly limited our spending and have been putting big money toward debt reduction and savings. It hasn't been so bad, but there hasn't been much shopping lately.
But we are about to get DH's bonus money, and have allocated a nice chunk of that for mattresses. We are in desperate, desperate need of new mattresses, and have decided to upgrade from queen to king. We spent a good part of last weekend playing Goldilocks, trying this one and that one. I think mattress shopping is one of the more awkward shopping experiences--lying bed in the middle of a store while random strangers saunter by. We've narrowed it down to two, both oh so plush and comfy, with a $500 difference between them.
And then, the real fun. Since we are upgrading the size of our mattress, we need all new bedding, too. I had a pretty good idea of what a mattress would cost, but I didn't even consider how much new bedding would cost. There is a hefty price jump in king sized linens. And there is also the matter of an actual bed. We haven't figured that one out yet. So much for the money diet.
And we need to repaint our bedroom. I've been tired of our current sage green for a while--but I don't really know what I want to do next. I guess it depends on the bedding.
So mattress shopping has turned into bedding shopping, which has turned into paint color shopping, and also involves headboard shopping, which has all reminded me that I don't really like shopping that much to begin with. But it will be nice to have a fresh new super-comfy bedroom.
But we are about to get DH's bonus money, and have allocated a nice chunk of that for mattresses. We are in desperate, desperate need of new mattresses, and have decided to upgrade from queen to king. We spent a good part of last weekend playing Goldilocks, trying this one and that one. I think mattress shopping is one of the more awkward shopping experiences--lying bed in the middle of a store while random strangers saunter by. We've narrowed it down to two, both oh so plush and comfy, with a $500 difference between them.
And then, the real fun. Since we are upgrading the size of our mattress, we need all new bedding, too. I had a pretty good idea of what a mattress would cost, but I didn't even consider how much new bedding would cost. There is a hefty price jump in king sized linens. And there is also the matter of an actual bed. We haven't figured that one out yet. So much for the money diet.
And we need to repaint our bedroom. I've been tired of our current sage green for a while--but I don't really know what I want to do next. I guess it depends on the bedding.
So mattress shopping has turned into bedding shopping, which has turned into paint color shopping, and also involves headboard shopping, which has all reminded me that I don't really like shopping that much to begin with. But it will be nice to have a fresh new super-comfy bedroom.
3/9/13
Good Week
It has been a good week, professionally. I finally got a long-awaited decision in my favor on a complex multi-state procedural issue that I briefed back in December. Woot!
On the same day, I mediated a 3-year-old case with my very first client (that I brought in myself and whose 7-figure case I handled completely by myself) and got a great result. But the best part is that the mediator, one of the other attorneys, and another party's insurance adjuster were very complimentary of me. The mediator said, in front of the other parties and their lawyers, "she is the only attorney who showed up today." Double woot!
In other news, work is very busy right now. I have some kind of major event to prepare for every week for the rest of this month, plus a bunch of smaller fires that are turning out to be huge time sucks. I'm not sure how I'm going to fit it all in.
And then, even with everything else on my plate, I left early on Friday because I have a cold and was feeling pretty crappy. I went to take a nap at 3:00 and didn't budge until 6:15 when the twins awakened me to take them to Girl Scouts. I never sleep like that!
Feeling a bit better today. I have a lot to do, but at least I can do it in my PJ's from my sofa.
And in case you are wondering about the robotics competition, they performed much better on Saturday and made it to the finals. Unfortunately, the drew the #1 team in both rounds of the semi-finals and got knocked out. (That team was so good, there was no chance of beating it.) They've got another shot in a couple of weeks, so hopefully they will have all the kinks worked out by then and will make it to nationals.
On the same day, I mediated a 3-year-old case with my very first client (that I brought in myself and whose 7-figure case I handled completely by myself) and got a great result. But the best part is that the mediator, one of the other attorneys, and another party's insurance adjuster were very complimentary of me. The mediator said, in front of the other parties and their lawyers, "she is the only attorney who showed up today." Double woot!
In other news, work is very busy right now. I have some kind of major event to prepare for every week for the rest of this month, plus a bunch of smaller fires that are turning out to be huge time sucks. I'm not sure how I'm going to fit it all in.
And then, even with everything else on my plate, I left early on Friday because I have a cold and was feeling pretty crappy. I went to take a nap at 3:00 and didn't budge until 6:15 when the twins awakened me to take them to Girl Scouts. I never sleep like that!
Feeling a bit better today. I have a lot to do, but at least I can do it in my PJ's from my sofa.
And in case you are wondering about the robotics competition, they performed much better on Saturday and made it to the finals. Unfortunately, the drew the #1 team in both rounds of the semi-finals and got knocked out. (That team was so good, there was no chance of beating it.) They've got another shot in a couple of weeks, so hopefully they will have all the kinks worked out by then and will make it to nationals.
3/2/13
Nerd Convention
We're spending the weekend at PS's robotics competition. It has been so much fun, ans it is so amazing to see not only what these kids can create, but also, how many different ideas and designs all of the teams have come up with to accomplish the same task.
They have all had just a few weeks to design, build and program a robot that can throw frisbees into targets (both autonomously and with user-control) and then to climb a pyramid-shaped pole frame that is about 10 feet high. These robots weigh over 120 pounds, so climbing is a major risk because if the robot falls it is likely destroyed. Just one team managed to climb all the way to the top, and it was amazing (yeah, I know I keep using that word) to watch.
Only 3 kids from their 40ish person team are allowed on the field, but PS managed to score a super-special press pass, so she also gets to go down there to film. DH helped her set up the team website, so she has taken off with that and gained a lot of cred with her team (especially for a freshman). She's also been filming their practices and editing video for the site. She's done a great job, and I'm so glad that her work has paid off by letting her get closer to the action.
We're also getting to see lots of family this weekend. The competition is just a couple hours from hometown, so DH's dad came down. Because we live so far from family, the kids never have grandparents at their events, so this is kind of cool. And DH's nephew has a baseball tournament here this weekend, so we've been able to spend some time with them and let the kids get some cousin time. And my aunt is coming down today. PS will have quite the cheering squad.
Today we have the last rounds of qualifying matches and then finals. It's not looking great for PS's team. Their robot is one of the better ones when it works, but they have had some unfortunate technical glitches. And there are two teams here that are far above the rest. The good news is that we signed up for another regional competition in a few weeks, so we should have some time to figure out the problems. ( This team made it to nationals last year, so the kids have high expectations for themselves.)
They have all had just a few weeks to design, build and program a robot that can throw frisbees into targets (both autonomously and with user-control) and then to climb a pyramid-shaped pole frame that is about 10 feet high. These robots weigh over 120 pounds, so climbing is a major risk because if the robot falls it is likely destroyed. Just one team managed to climb all the way to the top, and it was amazing (yeah, I know I keep using that word) to watch.
Only 3 kids from their 40ish person team are allowed on the field, but PS managed to score a super-special press pass, so she also gets to go down there to film. DH helped her set up the team website, so she has taken off with that and gained a lot of cred with her team (especially for a freshman). She's also been filming their practices and editing video for the site. She's done a great job, and I'm so glad that her work has paid off by letting her get closer to the action.
We're also getting to see lots of family this weekend. The competition is just a couple hours from hometown, so DH's dad came down. Because we live so far from family, the kids never have grandparents at their events, so this is kind of cool. And DH's nephew has a baseball tournament here this weekend, so we've been able to spend some time with them and let the kids get some cousin time. And my aunt is coming down today. PS will have quite the cheering squad.
Today we have the last rounds of qualifying matches and then finals. It's not looking great for PS's team. Their robot is one of the better ones when it works, but they have had some unfortunate technical glitches. And there are two teams here that are far above the rest. The good news is that we signed up for another regional competition in a few weeks, so we should have some time to figure out the problems. ( This team made it to nationals last year, so the kids have high expectations for themselves.)
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