It's been a heck of a week. I've been putting in lots of long days for almost a month now, and this week we hosted a big mediation, which meant I saw the inside of my house for approximately 8 hours during a 48 hour period. By Thursday I was so exhausted that I fell into bed at 7:30. Exhausted from working, exhausted from the stress of possibly never finding the end of my to-do list, exhausted from dealing with the secretary situation, exhausted from the mom-guilt of not spending enough time with my kids.
By Friday I managed to leave the office at a reasonable hour and we went to dinner together. Yesterday we went searching for a television console. DH used his bonus to finally buy a big ass flatscreen tv, but we can't find a console for it. So we promised the kids that if we dragged them out looking for furniture we'd take them to play laser tag afterward. But SS started to complain that she didn't feel well, and then she developed rosy cheeks and clammy skin. Sure enough, she had a fever by the time we got home. So no laser tag--instead we watched movies and worked on a puzzle.
On the secretary front, we are in limbo. She didn't come in the first half of the week, claiming an injury. When she showed up on Thursday, she was very, very apologetic. There was a lot of crying. The decision is not mine, and I don't know what the powers that be are going to do. There are several legal issues at play. But she knows that she is in deep and was Suzy Sunshine the rest of the week. Still, I am hesitant to give her important assignments if she is not going to be around in a few days, or in case she decides to throw another fit and screw something up. I like my firm, but I am very frustrated by this situation.
1/30/11
1/24/11
The Update
Secretary called in sick today. I was somewhat relieved, as that meant I could deal with the situation without her overhearing.
Big Boss asked what I thought should happen. I told him that if it were up to me she would be fired. I told him that he or one of the other partners had acted that way, I would be looking for another job. I have worked for crazy before, and I won't do it again. And I absolutely will not tolerate it from a subordinate. I said that at a bare minimum she must be written up and it must be made clear that if anything else remotely similar were to happen again, she would be out the door.
I have certainly had enough drama in my life, and I hate dealing with it. When I was a kid, I had no choice but to deal with whatever drama my parents threw at me. And one of the things I value the most as an adult is having control over my life. Nobody can force me to live with their drama. It's one of the reasons I live 400 miles away from my family. It's one of the reasons that I became a lawyer--because I wanted a job with the freedom to not work for someone else if I so choose.
I am sometimes stunned by how classically normal my little family is. I have a 15 year, happy, marriage. I have three really good, happy, kids. I have a house in the suburbs and a houseful of critters. And we have very little drama--which is by design, not coincidence. I have made a conscious decision to cut the crazy out of my life, and I am sure as hell not going to deal with it from my secretary.
Big Boss asked what I thought should happen. I told him that if it were up to me she would be fired. I told him that he or one of the other partners had acted that way, I would be looking for another job. I have worked for crazy before, and I won't do it again. And I absolutely will not tolerate it from a subordinate. I said that at a bare minimum she must be written up and it must be made clear that if anything else remotely similar were to happen again, she would be out the door.
I have certainly had enough drama in my life, and I hate dealing with it. When I was a kid, I had no choice but to deal with whatever drama my parents threw at me. And one of the things I value the most as an adult is having control over my life. Nobody can force me to live with their drama. It's one of the reasons I live 400 miles away from my family. It's one of the reasons that I became a lawyer--because I wanted a job with the freedom to not work for someone else if I so choose.
I am sometimes stunned by how classically normal my little family is. I have a 15 year, happy, marriage. I have three really good, happy, kids. I have a house in the suburbs and a houseful of critters. And we have very little drama--which is by design, not coincidence. I have made a conscious decision to cut the crazy out of my life, and I am sure as hell not going to deal with it from my secretary.
1/21/11
Helluva day
I slept in (until 7) because I'd been battling a relentless headach for the past two days and hadn't slept worth a darn. Should've known it wasn't gonna be a great day when the only clean undies I could find were of the lacy thong variety. Nothing like feeling your underwear up your butt all day to make you chipper.
Work was, like the last two weeks, insane. I have a huge to-do list, and it isn't getting any shorter because little fires keep popping up. And it doesn't help that three of my bosses were out of town this week and they all loaded me up before they left. I've been the only attorney in the office for the better part of the week.
On one of my cases, the opposing attorney wants to turn every single step a battle. For instance, I sent her a request for a privilege log, and she responded by informing me that my request would generate additional attorney's fees that my client would be obligated to pay. (I was tempted to reply back that I admired her optimism, but I just ignored her instead.) I just don't understand why this case is generating so much hostility. Most of the lawyers I work with are pretty decent people and realize that a wise lawyer chooses her battles.
And my secretary has lost her freaking mind. At 2:00 this afternoon I got a Fed Ex containing disks that I have been waiting for and need to review this weekend. I asked my secretary to please make copies of the disks by the end of the day and told her that if she did not have time to get it done to hand it off to someone else (since all of their attorneys are out of town.)
She waited until 5:15 to start burning the disks (after her 30 minute cell phone conversation). Then she ran into a problem. So she called the computer guy and was rude and hateful to him yelling about how she had to leave immediately (she leaves at 5:30). So she finally comes into my office and informs me that I am just going to have to take the originals home because she can't make copies. And I asked her, perfectly calmly, "Did you ask anybody else to help out with this earlier in the day?" And she said, "I didn't have time for that." And I said, "asking for help earlier in the day would have prevented problems late in the day." And she started yelling and said, "I work like a fucking dog and you don't appreciate it and you just think I'm too slow." And she threw the CDs at me and stormed out of the office! WTF???
Besides the complete inappropriateness of her actions, can someone explain how advising her to give part of her work to someone else is accusing her of being slow or overworking her? (And yes, I had already spoken to the other secretaries about helping out this week, so there was no problem with her asking for help.)
And, oh yes, I gave her three things to do today. Two letters that I drafted that she had to cut and paste onto letterhead and fax, and a cut-and-paste depo notice that went out certified. Yep, that's a tough life. I swear I'm getting more pissed the longer I sit and think about it.
So I stayed at work until 9:00 to try to knock out some of my to-dos and then got stuck in traffic for an hour. Dead standstill because there were some flares left in the road from an earlier accident.
Finally made it home by 10. Told hubby that I wish there was a bar where you could wear your pajama pants, because I really needed a drink, but I really wanted to put on my comfy pants. So he volunteered to go to the liquor store to get tequila and a margarita mixer. But apparently you can't buy liquor here after 9:00 pm!! WTF?? I think I knew that somewhere in the back of my mind, but obviously, I don't buy liquor very often.
So poor DH got out in the cold for nothing, and I'm stuck with a bottle of red wine. Or the vodka in the freezer--although I've avoided vodka ever since the Russian wedding.
Work was, like the last two weeks, insane. I have a huge to-do list, and it isn't getting any shorter because little fires keep popping up. And it doesn't help that three of my bosses were out of town this week and they all loaded me up before they left. I've been the only attorney in the office for the better part of the week.
On one of my cases, the opposing attorney wants to turn every single step a battle. For instance, I sent her a request for a privilege log, and she responded by informing me that my request would generate additional attorney's fees that my client would be obligated to pay. (I was tempted to reply back that I admired her optimism, but I just ignored her instead.) I just don't understand why this case is generating so much hostility. Most of the lawyers I work with are pretty decent people and realize that a wise lawyer chooses her battles.
And my secretary has lost her freaking mind. At 2:00 this afternoon I got a Fed Ex containing disks that I have been waiting for and need to review this weekend. I asked my secretary to please make copies of the disks by the end of the day and told her that if she did not have time to get it done to hand it off to someone else (since all of their attorneys are out of town.)
She waited until 5:15 to start burning the disks (after her 30 minute cell phone conversation). Then she ran into a problem. So she called the computer guy and was rude and hateful to him yelling about how she had to leave immediately (she leaves at 5:30). So she finally comes into my office and informs me that I am just going to have to take the originals home because she can't make copies. And I asked her, perfectly calmly, "Did you ask anybody else to help out with this earlier in the day?" And she said, "I didn't have time for that." And I said, "asking for help earlier in the day would have prevented problems late in the day." And she started yelling and said, "I work like a fucking dog and you don't appreciate it and you just think I'm too slow." And she threw the CDs at me and stormed out of the office! WTF???
Besides the complete inappropriateness of her actions, can someone explain how advising her to give part of her work to someone else is accusing her of being slow or overworking her? (And yes, I had already spoken to the other secretaries about helping out this week, so there was no problem with her asking for help.)
And, oh yes, I gave her three things to do today. Two letters that I drafted that she had to cut and paste onto letterhead and fax, and a cut-and-paste depo notice that went out certified. Yep, that's a tough life. I swear I'm getting more pissed the longer I sit and think about it.
So I stayed at work until 9:00 to try to knock out some of my to-dos and then got stuck in traffic for an hour. Dead standstill because there were some flares left in the road from an earlier accident.
Finally made it home by 10. Told hubby that I wish there was a bar where you could wear your pajama pants, because I really needed a drink, but I really wanted to put on my comfy pants. So he volunteered to go to the liquor store to get tequila and a margarita mixer. But apparently you can't buy liquor here after 9:00 pm!! WTF?? I think I knew that somewhere in the back of my mind, but obviously, I don't buy liquor very often.
So poor DH got out in the cold for nothing, and I'm stuck with a bottle of red wine. Or the vodka in the freezer--although I've avoided vodka ever since the Russian wedding.
1/16/11
Surviving
This weekend has not been as bad as I anticipated.
I think that one of the things I was dreading the most were changes to MIL's home. There are some--but not nearly what I expected.
We have been very busy and that has helped to avoid long awkward pauses. And we have gotten to spend lots of time with our siblings, which is a good thing. I got to hang out with my brother and nieces last night, and tonight all of DH's sibs, along with FIL and new wife, (there are 20 of us, total) met up at SIL's house for pizza and a Just Dance Wii smackdown (that was hilarious--we are a most uncoordinated group). FIL and new wife cut out early, and we weren't really sure why. After we got back here, FIL explained that it was the first time that the entire family has been together since the funeral and it was tough having everybody there except MIL. I hope it doesn't set him back again, but I guess it needed to happen.
I also met with my mother. Her life is not going well. I think she was hinting about moving in with me. Not gonna happen. Not even logistically possible since I live in a 2-story house and she has so many artificial body parts that stairs are out of the question.
We leave first thing in the morning. Glad to have this trip behind me.
I think that one of the things I was dreading the most were changes to MIL's home. There are some--but not nearly what I expected.
We have been very busy and that has helped to avoid long awkward pauses. And we have gotten to spend lots of time with our siblings, which is a good thing. I got to hang out with my brother and nieces last night, and tonight all of DH's sibs, along with FIL and new wife, (there are 20 of us, total) met up at SIL's house for pizza and a Just Dance Wii smackdown (that was hilarious--we are a most uncoordinated group). FIL and new wife cut out early, and we weren't really sure why. After we got back here, FIL explained that it was the first time that the entire family has been together since the funeral and it was tough having everybody there except MIL. I hope it doesn't set him back again, but I guess it needed to happen.
I also met with my mother. Her life is not going well. I think she was hinting about moving in with me. Not gonna happen. Not even logistically possible since I live in a 2-story house and she has so many artificial body parts that stairs are out of the question.
We leave first thing in the morning. Glad to have this trip behind me.
1/14/11
Dread
We're heading to Hometown tomorrow--something I've successfully avoided since MIL passed away last February. I am not looking forward to it. I've had a crazy week and there is nothing appealing about a 7-hour drive, a day-and-a half of trying to see about a million different relatives, and a return 7-hour drive. I'd rather stay curled up on my comfy couch reading my nook (or, more realistically, doing doc review).
But mostly, I just don't want to go. I don't want to stay with FIL and his new wife, but DH says we have to or we'll hurt FIL's feelings. I promised to be nice to New Wife, but I truly feel that she is either stupid or manipulative for jumping into a relationship with FIL less than 3 months after MIL died, and I have absolutely no respect for her. (I'm leaning toward stupid, but carefully watching for manipulative.) I don't have a poker face (a terrible trait for a lawyer), so it will be a real challenge to feign nice.
And I don't want to deal with my mother who has her own bag of crazy issues. I try to avoid dealing with her, but she has sucked me in to helping her deal with certain problems for which I am uniquely qualified to help. (Yes, I know that I sound awful, and you really can't understand unless you have a toxic, narcissistic parent.)
The reason we're going is to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandparents have always been the rock in my dysfunctional life, and my grandmother wants nothing more than to have her family together. So I will go, and deal with my emotional deficiencies.
And the kids are super excited about seeing their cousins and their grandparents.
And we'll be so busy that I'll have only minimal time to spend with New Wife or my mother.
So, I'll survive. But I'd rather do doc review.
But mostly, I just don't want to go. I don't want to stay with FIL and his new wife, but DH says we have to or we'll hurt FIL's feelings. I promised to be nice to New Wife, but I truly feel that she is either stupid or manipulative for jumping into a relationship with FIL less than 3 months after MIL died, and I have absolutely no respect for her. (I'm leaning toward stupid, but carefully watching for manipulative.) I don't have a poker face (a terrible trait for a lawyer), so it will be a real challenge to feign nice.
And I don't want to deal with my mother who has her own bag of crazy issues. I try to avoid dealing with her, but she has sucked me in to helping her deal with certain problems for which I am uniquely qualified to help. (Yes, I know that I sound awful, and you really can't understand unless you have a toxic, narcissistic parent.)
The reason we're going is to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandparents have always been the rock in my dysfunctional life, and my grandmother wants nothing more than to have her family together. So I will go, and deal with my emotional deficiencies.
And the kids are super excited about seeing their cousins and their grandparents.
And we'll be so busy that I'll have only minimal time to spend with New Wife or my mother.
So, I'll survive. But I'd rather do doc review.
1/12/11
Forgetting to eat
I'm not the kinda girl who likes to miss a meal, but today was the kind of day where I didn't eat anything until 4:45 this afternoon.
I had a potential client meeting first thing morning (looks like I hooked a new client--yay!), and then ran back to the office to prepare for another client meeting. In the two hours in between, I was running around like a crazy person dealing with all of the emergencies that popped up while I was out of the office this morning.
And then I had my second meeting that lasted from 1:00-2:30. Then I immediately launched into negotiations with opposing counsel.
It wasn't until 3:30 that I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day. But by then I was on a short deadline to get an agreement in place so that I could call the court to cancel a hearing that was set for first thing tomorrow morning.
Finally had 5 minutes to scarf down last night's leftover spaghetti at 4:45 before resuming negotiations with opposing counsel. We finally had our agreement set and off to the court by 6:00, and I then spent the next hour and half wrapping up other loose ends.
I could have easily spent another two hours in the office, but I'm exhausted. Hopefully, I can put the time I gained from my canceled hearing to good use tomorrow, because I am buried right now. Hard to believe that just two weeks ago I was watching streaming CLE's at my desk because I didn't have anything else to do.
I had a potential client meeting first thing morning (looks like I hooked a new client--yay!), and then ran back to the office to prepare for another client meeting. In the two hours in between, I was running around like a crazy person dealing with all of the emergencies that popped up while I was out of the office this morning.
And then I had my second meeting that lasted from 1:00-2:30. Then I immediately launched into negotiations with opposing counsel.
It wasn't until 3:30 that I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day. But by then I was on a short deadline to get an agreement in place so that I could call the court to cancel a hearing that was set for first thing tomorrow morning.
Finally had 5 minutes to scarf down last night's leftover spaghetti at 4:45 before resuming negotiations with opposing counsel. We finally had our agreement set and off to the court by 6:00, and I then spent the next hour and half wrapping up other loose ends.
I could have easily spent another two hours in the office, but I'm exhausted. Hopefully, I can put the time I gained from my canceled hearing to good use tomorrow, because I am buried right now. Hard to believe that just two weeks ago I was watching streaming CLE's at my desk because I didn't have anything else to do.
1/7/11
The girls are all right
But, OMG, the mammo was as terrible as purported to be. The tech put each boob in a vice and squeezed until I thought she couldn't squish them anymore, and then she gave it one more crank. I can't believe I'm not sporting titty pancakes now. If you had implants, I'm pretty sure they would have popped.
I wasn't really worried about the mammo beforehand, although I did get a wee bit nervous when after the mammo the tech said that I needed to have a sonogram as well. But after the sono they said that I just have a couple of cysts that are completely normal--exactly like my doc said before they tortured my sweater puppies.
BTW, thanks to the commenters who shared your experiences. It was nice to hear from other women who had it done and everything turned out fine.
I wasn't really worried about the mammo beforehand, although I did get a wee bit nervous when after the mammo the tech said that I needed to have a sonogram as well. But after the sono they said that I just have a couple of cysts that are completely normal--exactly like my doc said before they tortured my sweater puppies.
BTW, thanks to the commenters who shared your experiences. It was nice to hear from other women who had it done and everything turned out fine.
1/4/11
Boobie Issues
So I went to the doc today because I have had this weird intermittent pain in my right breast for about a month now. I can't feel anything lumpy or bumpy, but whenever I bump my boob just right it feels kind of like hitting your funny bone.
Google said it wasn't cancer and I should just take an aspirin and get over it, but it was going on long enough and was uncomfortable enough that I finally sought a professional opinion.
Doc said pretty much the same thing as Google--it's probably normal fibrocystic changes. I can take vitamin E if I want to help with the pain. Not much else to do.
Well, except a baseline mammogram "just in case" and because I've never had one. So now my girls are getting squished on Friday. Not looking forward to that one.
And once again I have dragged myself to the doctor to hear the equivalent of "suck it up, buttercup." I go to the doctor maybe twice a year and I swear there is never anything that can be done for whatever happens to ail me. But I guess that's better than hearing that I'm dying of some dreadful disease.
Google said it wasn't cancer and I should just take an aspirin and get over it, but it was going on long enough and was uncomfortable enough that I finally sought a professional opinion.
Doc said pretty much the same thing as Google--it's probably normal fibrocystic changes. I can take vitamin E if I want to help with the pain. Not much else to do.
Well, except a baseline mammogram "just in case" and because I've never had one. So now my girls are getting squished on Friday. Not looking forward to that one.
And once again I have dragged myself to the doctor to hear the equivalent of "suck it up, buttercup." I go to the doctor maybe twice a year and I swear there is never anything that can be done for whatever happens to ail me. But I guess that's better than hearing that I'm dying of some dreadful disease.
1/2/11
I made a nook cozy!
I searched the internet far and wide for a nook cover. I just didn't like anything that was commercially available--and most of them were ridiculously expensive. I don't want the nook in a cover while I am reading, so I was really looking for a sleeve that I could slip it into when I wasn't using it--and the only sleeves I found were icky neoprene ones on ebay.
So I decided to make my own. I spent about $20 on supplies, but I bought way more of all of my materials than I needed. (DH says I should just make up the extras and sell them on etsy to recoup my cost and contribute to my book fund.)
I used this pattern as a guide, but made a few modifications. First, I made a ribbon-loop closure instead of making the two straps. I also added a pocket--mostly just because I needed a reason to include a cute coordinating fabric, but it does hold my book light. Finally, I used flannel instead of fleece to line my cover, but I attached fusable fleece batting to the outside pieces so that I my nook would be extra cozy and protected.
I heart my nook cozy! I'm so happy with the way it turned out, and I think it's about 1000 times cuter than anything I have seen in stores (including the $125 kate spade cover.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)