Met with temp agency recruiter. Definitely not the highlight of my day--meeting the recruiter, who was wearing a polyester suit, in a bare-bones windowless office. But they'll help me out with finding a permanent position, and in the meantime, there is a doc review project starting in another week.
I did not know that I would be locked into a doc review project once I started--so I told them that for now I am only interested in short term projects. I do not want to sign on for a 6 week project only to have the perfect job fall in my lap (which is exactly what would happen, the way my life typically works out.)
Then, DH and I decided to visit MIL this weekend. The inlaws are living out of a hotel for the next three weeks while MIL receives combo chemo/radiation treatments. They are about 700 miles from home, but only about 250 miles from us, so we thought we'd go down for the weekend to lift her spirits.
I spent the rest of my afternoon planning meals that I could make for them that MIL could possibly tolerate.
Then I researched cheap, decent hotels on Hotwire and Priceline. There are better deals to be had on Priceline, and I am better able to gauge which hotel I will end up with. But Priceline will only guarantee one bed--a problem for a family of 5. So I went with Hotwire and I ended up with the Crowne Plaza for $60/night.
Tomorrow I have another interview. Afterward, I'll cook for the inlaws and pack us up.
Friday the kids have field day at school. Usually these things end early, so DH and I will go the field day thing and then pull the kids out of school and hit the road as soon as they start wrapping up.
5/27/09
5/26/09
Okay, so I may have wallowed a little bit today.
I watched a little too much television. I made good progress through a book (it really seems to be dragging--I am sooo tempted to peek at the end and just get it over with). I took a nap.
A temp agency called to set up an interview for a doc review project. I am not excited at all. Doc review will help ease the financial strain--but I want a real job [insert whine]. I think my lack of enthusiasm stems largely from this post that I read last week. They also wanted me to fill out a job application. I hate filling out applications--it just seems to demeaning at this point in my career. It's not like they don't already have all of the information they asked for, since they clearly received my resume.
I am trying not to assume the worst because I haven't heard anything regarding the job that I interviewed for last week. (The second one--I know I'm not getting a callback from the first one, and I am just fine with that.) We are coming off of a holiday weekend, and not everybody has the life of leisure that I do.
Hopefully the fact that I have to get dressed and out of the house for an interview tomorrow will leave me less inclined to wallow.
A temp agency called to set up an interview for a doc review project. I am not excited at all. Doc review will help ease the financial strain--but I want a real job [insert whine]. I think my lack of enthusiasm stems largely from this post that I read last week. They also wanted me to fill out a job application. I hate filling out applications--it just seems to demeaning at this point in my career. It's not like they don't already have all of the information they asked for, since they clearly received my resume.
I am trying not to assume the worst because I haven't heard anything regarding the job that I interviewed for last week. (The second one--I know I'm not getting a callback from the first one, and I am just fine with that.) We are coming off of a holiday weekend, and not everybody has the life of leisure that I do.
Hopefully the fact that I have to get dressed and out of the house for an interview tomorrow will leave me less inclined to wallow.
I am such a wussie
I got all teary when Sotomayor was talking about her mom.
I thought her speech was pretty good, although she was obviously nervous. I will be interested to learn more about her as the confirmation hearings progress. I like that a female Hispanic was nominated, but I don't want to see someone on the Court merely because of her ethnicity or gender (coughPalincough).
I thought her speech was pretty good, although she was obviously nervous. I will be interested to learn more about her as the confirmation hearings progress. I like that a female Hispanic was nominated, but I don't want to see someone on the Court merely because of her ethnicity or gender (coughPalincough).
5/24/09
The Great Outdoors
This morning we headed out to go geocaching and hiking at a nature preserve about 40 miles from home. We ended up hiking about 8 miles. I am shocked--we usually get about a mile before the kids are ready to give it up. And the terrain was quite a bit more rugged that we are accustomed to. But it was such a peaceful area and the weather was really nice.
Came home and threw a couple of T-bones and some corn on the grill for dinner. Meanwhile, I made this chocolate cake, which was so simple and totally yummy.
Then we discovered that TT brought home a tick. I think I successfully removed it. Unfortunately, I washed it down the sink. My subsequent google research indicates that I should have saved it for identification purposes. Fortunately, I took note of it, and my google research indicates that it is an American Dog Tick, which is not known to carry Lyme disease. (But it is known to carry Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.) I am trying not to freak out about the tick--none of us has ever had one before.
It was nice to get out of the house--especially since our entertainment bet has been severely slashed.
I really hope the job I interviewed for on Thursday works out. But of course, the more I analyze the interview, the more things I find that I could have or should have done differently. Hopefully I will hear something early next week. My positive attitude is beginning to wane and I can tell that I have a short fuse. I'm afraid that if I am unemployed for more than another week or two my family will be ready to ship me off somewhere!
Came home and threw a couple of T-bones and some corn on the grill for dinner. Meanwhile, I made this chocolate cake, which was so simple and totally yummy.
Then we discovered that TT brought home a tick. I think I successfully removed it. Unfortunately, I washed it down the sink. My subsequent google research indicates that I should have saved it for identification purposes. Fortunately, I took note of it, and my google research indicates that it is an American Dog Tick, which is not known to carry Lyme disease. (But it is known to carry Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.) I am trying not to freak out about the tick--none of us has ever had one before.
It was nice to get out of the house--especially since our entertainment bet has been severely slashed.
I really hope the job I interviewed for on Thursday works out. But of course, the more I analyze the interview, the more things I find that I could have or should have done differently. Hopefully I will hear something early next week. My positive attitude is beginning to wane and I can tell that I have a short fuse. I'm afraid that if I am unemployed for more than another week or two my family will be ready to ship me off somewhere!
5/22/09
Still not wallowing
I've managed to stay remarkably busy for someone who doesn't have a job. In fact, my kitchen still isn't painted. I though I was ready to hit the ground running with the paining on Tuesday, but instead spend half a day taping and draping--a bigger project in the kitchen than in other rooms.
Tuesday night the girls had their end of soccer season party at a local water-park, so that took up the rest of my afternoon and evening.
Wednesday morning I had an interview and lunch with DH afterward. I poked around on the way home, did a little window shopping and ran a couple of errands.
Yesterday, another interview. Afterward I had lunch with a former associate. She was laid off shortly after I gave notice--so we both have nothing but time on our hands.
I will admit that I am not an adventurous eater. But, I decided to expand my horizons and we went to a "latin fusion" restaurant. It was fabulous. We had plantain chips as an appetizer and I had a jerk'd brisket taco--yum! We also had a delish drink which involved frozen coke with rum and a twist of lime. Kinda like a Coke Icee with liquor. Double yum!
However, I never, ever drink in the middle of the day (this may have been the first time ever) and all I wanted was to nap the rest of the afternoon. I also think the alcohol inflamed my sinuses, so I felt like I was in a haze the rest of the day.
Today I am back to the painting--currently waiting for the primer to dry. Hopefully I will be done today, because I am really ready to have my kitchen back.
I also just set up another interview for next week--yea! But I really hope that the job that I interviewed for yesterday works out.
Tuesday night the girls had their end of soccer season party at a local water-park, so that took up the rest of my afternoon and evening.
Wednesday morning I had an interview and lunch with DH afterward. I poked around on the way home, did a little window shopping and ran a couple of errands.
Yesterday, another interview. Afterward I had lunch with a former associate. She was laid off shortly after I gave notice--so we both have nothing but time on our hands.
I will admit that I am not an adventurous eater. But, I decided to expand my horizons and we went to a "latin fusion" restaurant. It was fabulous. We had plantain chips as an appetizer and I had a jerk'd brisket taco--yum! We also had a delish drink which involved frozen coke with rum and a twist of lime. Kinda like a Coke Icee with liquor. Double yum!
However, I never, ever drink in the middle of the day (this may have been the first time ever) and all I wanted was to nap the rest of the afternoon. I also think the alcohol inflamed my sinuses, so I felt like I was in a haze the rest of the day.
Today I am back to the painting--currently waiting for the primer to dry. Hopefully I will be done today, because I am really ready to have my kitchen back.
I also just set up another interview for next week--yea! But I really hope that the job that I interviewed for yesterday works out.
5/21/09
The Ancestral Tree
Today's interview went much better than yesterday's. It is a smaller, start-up firm and seems to be a really great environment. But apparently every firm that I have interviewed with stems from the same great tree.
We'll call that tree C & T. I actually had a co-defendant who worked for C & T and mentioned all of the offshoots (groups of partners and associates who left to form their own firms) from that firm. Apparently Old Firm was an offshoot from C & T from long ago (maybe 20 years). The firm that I received an offer from was a more recent offshoot from C & T (maybe 10 years ago). The firm that I interviewed with today was an offshoot from C & T about 1 year ago. Even one of the named partners at the firm that I interviewed at yesterday started at C & T.
So, since all of these partners started at the same place, they all know each other. This actually seems to be a benefit for me. First, they are familiar with Big Boss, so I don't really need to say much about why I was leaving. And second, the fact that I was working for old firm and left on my own, plus I had an offer from the other firm seems to provide me with a layer of respectability. I've already been through the vetting process.
Anyway, hopefully something will work out.
We'll call that tree C & T. I actually had a co-defendant who worked for C & T and mentioned all of the offshoots (groups of partners and associates who left to form their own firms) from that firm. Apparently Old Firm was an offshoot from C & T from long ago (maybe 20 years). The firm that I received an offer from was a more recent offshoot from C & T (maybe 10 years ago). The firm that I interviewed with today was an offshoot from C & T about 1 year ago. Even one of the named partners at the firm that I interviewed at yesterday started at C & T.
So, since all of these partners started at the same place, they all know each other. This actually seems to be a benefit for me. First, they are familiar with Big Boss, so I don't really need to say much about why I was leaving. And second, the fact that I was working for old firm and left on my own, plus I had an offer from the other firm seems to provide me with a layer of respectability. I've already been through the vetting process.
Anyway, hopefully something will work out.
5/20/09
Disappointed
I can't say that today's interview went particularly well. Although I perfectly fit the description in the ad that was posted, I would now not even consider this position if I were not unemployed.
First, it is coverage work. I have done coverage work and I do not like it. I would not have applied for a coverage position.
Second, their minimum billable is 180 and 200 is the norm.
Third, the commute is brutal. DH works in the building next door and is commute is generally 1.5 hours each way. There is no way in hell I could do that and hit 200/month. (Oh, and they like face time, too.) DH and I talked about moving if we were both working in that area, but it is a terrible time to sell our house. Even if we could actually sell it, we would likely lose all equity--which is about all we have going for a down payment on a new house.
I'm pretty sure that I won't be getting a call back. I said going in that I wasn't interested in putting in 200/month in perpetuity, so that probably killed it right there. And she was asking about all my experience, which I was very enthusiastic about, and said, "So, you're a litigator at heart, huh?" To which I answered, "yes." Which can be interpreted as, "Yes, I thrive on the drama of the courtroom and might shrivel up and die if I were confined to my office reviewing insurance policies all day."
I did make a little speech to try to save myself, but I'm sure she saw through it, and honestly, nothing about this job appeals to me. (Although the interviewer was very nice and we actually seemed to have a lot in common. She lives a few blocks from me and her husband is in the same industry as mine.)
So we'll just consider this my warm-up for tomorrow's interview. And I am in the process of setting up another interview next week. I just wish this process would move along a little faster.
First, it is coverage work. I have done coverage work and I do not like it. I would not have applied for a coverage position.
Second, their minimum billable is 180 and 200 is the norm.
Third, the commute is brutal. DH works in the building next door and is commute is generally 1.5 hours each way. There is no way in hell I could do that and hit 200/month. (Oh, and they like face time, too.) DH and I talked about moving if we were both working in that area, but it is a terrible time to sell our house. Even if we could actually sell it, we would likely lose all equity--which is about all we have going for a down payment on a new house.
I'm pretty sure that I won't be getting a call back. I said going in that I wasn't interested in putting in 200/month in perpetuity, so that probably killed it right there. And she was asking about all my experience, which I was very enthusiastic about, and said, "So, you're a litigator at heart, huh?" To which I answered, "yes." Which can be interpreted as, "Yes, I thrive on the drama of the courtroom and might shrivel up and die if I were confined to my office reviewing insurance policies all day."
I did make a little speech to try to save myself, but I'm sure she saw through it, and honestly, nothing about this job appeals to me. (Although the interviewer was very nice and we actually seemed to have a lot in common. She lives a few blocks from me and her husband is in the same industry as mine.)
So we'll just consider this my warm-up for tomorrow's interview. And I am in the process of setting up another interview next week. I just wish this process would move along a little faster.
5/18/09
Today I scheduled two interviews for later in the week
For real jobs, not contract jobs. Woot!
One is downtown, a few blocks down from old firm. The other is in the 'burbs, a few blocks down from DH's office.
Hopefully one will pan out, but I applied for several contract positions today, just in case.
One is downtown, a few blocks down from old firm. The other is in the 'burbs, a few blocks down from DH's office.
Hopefully one will pan out, but I applied for several contract positions today, just in case.
I will not wallow
I refuse to wallow in a pit of self-pity--which would be oh so easy to do--during my unemployedness and while the girls are still in school. So I got up and started prepping the kitchen for painting. I painted the rest of my downstairs the last time I was unemployed, right after the bar. But then I got a job and never made it to the kitchen.
I have been taking down all the knick-knacks and greenery that live in that useless space on top of my kitchen cabinets. It is truly disgusting up there--I think there is a 1/4" of dust coating everything. I'm pretty anal about keeping my light fixtures and ceiling fans dusted--I guess I just never thought about the tops of the cabinets.
I may paint TT's room once I get through the kitchen. We painted a castle surrounded by rolling hills when the twins were toddlers, and now she wants a big girl room. But we used textured paint for the castle, which is going to be a PITA to get off the walls.
Also on my to do list (excluding the obvious job hunting):
I have been taking down all the knick-knacks and greenery that live in that useless space on top of my kitchen cabinets. It is truly disgusting up there--I think there is a 1/4" of dust coating everything. I'm pretty anal about keeping my light fixtures and ceiling fans dusted--I guess I just never thought about the tops of the cabinets.
I may paint TT's room once I get through the kitchen. We painted a castle surrounded by rolling hills when the twins were toddlers, and now she wants a big girl room. But we used textured paint for the castle, which is going to be a PITA to get off the walls.
Also on my to do list (excluding the obvious job hunting):
- pick up dry cleaning
- send out MIL's Mother's Day gift (there is a perfectly excusable reason why this hasn't been done already, but I won't bore you)
- finish making the girls' jeans into shorts
- remove winter clothing from girls' closets
- Spray the lawn with week killer (because the $40 bag of Weed 'n' Feed did nothing by feed the weeds)
- Laundry, laundry, laundry
5/15/09
The End
Today went well. My secretary ordered a big cookie and invited the office to come say goodbye. (Which in true Cake Wrecks fashion said, "Will Miss You"--I loved it!) It was noted by many that Big Boss would have flipped had he come upon our little get together--which just made it that much better.
I received lots of hugs and good wishes. Several people offered to pass my resume along and others volunteered to serve as references. Most agreed that I was making the right decision. (Although many did not know the whole story and so responding to "Where are you going?" was a little awkward.)
I left with the feeling that I was well-liked by my co-workers and that they seemed genuinely sad to see me go.
Now I am hitting the ground running with the job hunting. I applied for 5 jobs today, most of which I am well qualified for (a nice change from when I was hunting for entry-level positions.) Hopefully I'll start interviewing next week, and of course, I'll continue searching and sending out my resume.
I received lots of hugs and good wishes. Several people offered to pass my resume along and others volunteered to serve as references. Most agreed that I was making the right decision. (Although many did not know the whole story and so responding to "Where are you going?" was a little awkward.)
I left with the feeling that I was well-liked by my co-workers and that they seemed genuinely sad to see me go.
Now I am hitting the ground running with the job hunting. I applied for 5 jobs today, most of which I am well qualified for (a nice change from when I was hunting for entry-level positions.) Hopefully I'll start interviewing next week, and of course, I'll continue searching and sending out my resume.
5/14/09
Advice for life: Always be nice to everybody
This is something that I tell my kids a lot. Be especially kind to the ones that every one else is not so kind to.
I was recently friended on Facebook by a high school classmate. He was a nerdy kid who was pretty much ignored by everyone. We didn't hang out together, but I always tried to be nice to him, and we had all of our honors classes together. Now he has a Ph.D. in physics and has a fancy job in D.C., presumably making buckets more money than most of the cool kids with whom we went to school. You just never know where someone is going to end up. (Especially those "nerdy" kids.)
And today I mentioned to the service center guy that tomorrow was my last day. The service center guys are pretty much the bottom of the office totem pole--and a lot of people seem to treat them as such. But Service Center Guy and I always joked around and I treated him the same as I would any attorney that I work with. So, when I mentioned that I was leaving and why, he told me that his wife also works in a law firm and that they are looking for an attorney. Maybe it'll work and and maybe it won't, but I wouldn't even have that opportunity if I didn't have a relationship with Service Center Guy.
As it turns out, lots of people in my firm are trying to help with my situation. A secretary gave me the name of another firm that is hiring, and another associate gave me the link for his law school's job board. Next week, I'm meeting two other associates at a bar association meeting targeted at women-hopefully a good networking opportunity.
Even Partner called today and told me to use him as a reference (yes, I was shocked.) I think he was impressed that I was still working and sending out email about my cases today. But I am determined to leave with my character in tact.
Oh, and I got a request from another firm to do an interview next week! I haven't even started sending out my resume yet. (I was trying to jazz it up a little bit yesterday before I started sending it out.) I think the recruiter I was working with sent them my info--even though she can't collect a recruiting fee from that firm.
Things are looking up. Hopefully my unemployment will be short-lived and I will be moving on to bigger and better in no time.
I was recently friended on Facebook by a high school classmate. He was a nerdy kid who was pretty much ignored by everyone. We didn't hang out together, but I always tried to be nice to him, and we had all of our honors classes together. Now he has a Ph.D. in physics and has a fancy job in D.C., presumably making buckets more money than most of the cool kids with whom we went to school. You just never know where someone is going to end up. (Especially those "nerdy" kids.)
And today I mentioned to the service center guy that tomorrow was my last day. The service center guys are pretty much the bottom of the office totem pole--and a lot of people seem to treat them as such. But Service Center Guy and I always joked around and I treated him the same as I would any attorney that I work with. So, when I mentioned that I was leaving and why, he told me that his wife also works in a law firm and that they are looking for an attorney. Maybe it'll work and and maybe it won't, but I wouldn't even have that opportunity if I didn't have a relationship with Service Center Guy.
As it turns out, lots of people in my firm are trying to help with my situation. A secretary gave me the name of another firm that is hiring, and another associate gave me the link for his law school's job board. Next week, I'm meeting two other associates at a bar association meeting targeted at women-hopefully a good networking opportunity.
Even Partner called today and told me to use him as a reference (yes, I was shocked.) I think he was impressed that I was still working and sending out email about my cases today. But I am determined to leave with my character in tact.
Oh, and I got a request from another firm to do an interview next week! I haven't even started sending out my resume yet. (I was trying to jazz it up a little bit yesterday before I started sending it out.) I think the recruiter I was working with sent them my info--even though she can't collect a recruiting fee from that firm.
Things are looking up. Hopefully my unemployment will be short-lived and I will be moving on to bigger and better in no time.
5/13/09
It's 2:00 p.m.--do you know where L.C. is?
Sitting on my couch.
I was up at 4:15 this morning to make a 7:30 flight for an out-of town deposition. I have already billed 9 hours today. Typically, I would be expected to return to the office and put in at least another 4 hours. It was nice to come home.
As Kady in her comment to my last post, I pulled some of the older posts. They were very angry and bitter, and now that I have had my chance to bitch and whine and receive all of your sympathy and well wishes, I pulled them (hopefully) before they achieve permanence on the internet.
But the quick rundown is that I was offered another job that seemed like the polar opposite of my current firm, where I have been quite unhappy. After the new firm extended their offer and I put in notice, a conflict arose. (I thought a preliminary conflict check had already been run because the new firm already knew of one conflict.) My firm won't waive the conflict. They initially counter-offered with more money and better hours, and when I tried to pin them down on specifics they back-pedaled and refused to give me actual numbers. I said that I wouldn't withdraw my resignation unless we came to an agreement as to salary and hours--which never happened. Meanwhile, the new firm withdrew their offer due to the conflict. Therefore, I will be unemployed as of Friday.
The whole situation sucks frog huevos* but I am determined to come out on top.
* Hat tip to PT for adding that phraseology to my lexicon.
I was up at 4:15 this morning to make a 7:30 flight for an out-of town deposition. I have already billed 9 hours today. Typically, I would be expected to return to the office and put in at least another 4 hours. It was nice to come home.
As Kady in her comment to my last post, I pulled some of the older posts. They were very angry and bitter, and now that I have had my chance to bitch and whine and receive all of your sympathy and well wishes, I pulled them (hopefully) before they achieve permanence on the internet.
But the quick rundown is that I was offered another job that seemed like the polar opposite of my current firm, where I have been quite unhappy. After the new firm extended their offer and I put in notice, a conflict arose. (I thought a preliminary conflict check had already been run because the new firm already knew of one conflict.) My firm won't waive the conflict. They initially counter-offered with more money and better hours, and when I tried to pin them down on specifics they back-pedaled and refused to give me actual numbers. I said that I wouldn't withdraw my resignation unless we came to an agreement as to salary and hours--which never happened. Meanwhile, the new firm withdrew their offer due to the conflict. Therefore, I will be unemployed as of Friday.
The whole situation sucks frog huevos* but I am determined to come out on top.
* Hat tip to PT for adding that phraseology to my lexicon.
5/12/09
Done
So, it looks like I am unemployed as of Friday. Partner wouldn't even look at me today (Big Boss was out all day). I think it speaks volumes that my superiors are incapable of being mature and professional while I am continuing to do my job through Friday like I said I would. Apparently class and dignity is not their strong suit. The good news is that I am attending an out of town deposition tomorrow and both Big Boss and Partner are out of the office Thursday and Friday. So I never have to see them again, and can live out my final days in peace.
I am pretty much ok with my decision. I think that if I stayed my anger and bitterness over Big Boss's actions would have made me far more miserable than I already was. Their counter-offer followed by back-pedaling simply underscores why I was leaving in the first place and makes me all the more confident about leaving.
My unemployed status will certainly require some sacrifices, but I think we can pull through. Hell, we lived on a single income for almost 10 years before I got a job.
And I am looking forward to getting to spend some time with the girlies. There is a lot going on at the end of the year, and I am glad that I will be able to participate.
So, fingers crossed, my unemployed status will last just long enough to feel like a vacation, allow me to regroup, reorganize my life, and hang with the kiddos for a couple of weeks. I am so tired of the drama and truly ready to move on.
I am pretty much ok with my decision. I think that if I stayed my anger and bitterness over Big Boss's actions would have made me far more miserable than I already was. Their counter-offer followed by back-pedaling simply underscores why I was leaving in the first place and makes me all the more confident about leaving.
My unemployed status will certainly require some sacrifices, but I think we can pull through. Hell, we lived on a single income for almost 10 years before I got a job.
And I am looking forward to getting to spend some time with the girlies. There is a lot going on at the end of the year, and I am glad that I will be able to participate.
So, fingers crossed, my unemployed status will last just long enough to feel like a vacation, allow me to regroup, reorganize my life, and hang with the kiddos for a couple of weeks. I am so tired of the drama and truly ready to move on.
5/6/09
Bitten in the ass by karma
Today has sucked. I am beginning to think that I have royally f'd up my life in every possible way.
First, I found that the imaginary conflict that Big Boss mentioned is not imaginary. That is a problem, because it is a case that I am actively involved with. New Firm hasn't told me what they plan to do, but I imagine they will want a conflict waiver. And I'm not at all sure that Big Boss will give it to me.
About the same time that I was finding this out I got a call from Lucy informing me that she wouldn't be picking up the kids from school today. Thanks for the whopping 3 hours' notice. I asked if she was planning to pick them up next week and she told me that she was quitting if I wasn't going to use her over the summer. Fan-freaking-tastic.
I understand that she is angry about having her hours cut, but we have treated her very well otherwise. She just doesn't get that we can't afford to pay her over the summer. To employ her full-time would be more than $2500/month. And economics is only half the issue, anyway.
The twins just curled up in my lap and cried when I told them that Lucy had quit. I felt like the mean mom of the year. I am pretty peeved that she left without even bothering to tell them goodbye.
Oh, but it just keeps getting better. It turns out that Jen is nuts. You know what they say, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." Anyway, this afternoon she sent me an email about the summer saying that she would need Wednesday afternoons off to attend a particular class.
That particular class is a particular kind of therapy for people with borderline personality disorder. BPD is more than depression and just short of psychosis.
Now, it's not like this came out of the clear blue sky. I had noticed a few quirky personality traits. And yesterday she said something to me that I had already intended to look into.
But BPD is serious. It would be fine if she were just a housekeeper, or my secretary or a coworker. But this is somebody who is caring for my children. Someone who might have issues with judgment or making impulsive decisions. Caring for my children. And on the minor end of the spectrum (although increasingly problematic if I actually do start a new job) someone who might not be dependable.
So I'm thinking that I will be returning to my original summer plan of putting the girls in a day camp. I will talk to Jen first, but I am very concerned about allowing someone with BPD care for my children all summer long.
And of course, I no longer have Lucy as a back-up.
I honestly don't think my life could be any more f'd up right now. I may or may not have a job in two weeks. I may or may not have a babysitter for the summer. At least DH hasn't left me yet.
First, I found that the imaginary conflict that Big Boss mentioned is not imaginary. That is a problem, because it is a case that I am actively involved with. New Firm hasn't told me what they plan to do, but I imagine they will want a conflict waiver. And I'm not at all sure that Big Boss will give it to me.
About the same time that I was finding this out I got a call from Lucy informing me that she wouldn't be picking up the kids from school today. Thanks for the whopping 3 hours' notice. I asked if she was planning to pick them up next week and she told me that she was quitting if I wasn't going to use her over the summer. Fan-freaking-tastic.
I understand that she is angry about having her hours cut, but we have treated her very well otherwise. She just doesn't get that we can't afford to pay her over the summer. To employ her full-time would be more than $2500/month. And economics is only half the issue, anyway.
The twins just curled up in my lap and cried when I told them that Lucy had quit. I felt like the mean mom of the year. I am pretty peeved that she left without even bothering to tell them goodbye.
Oh, but it just keeps getting better. It turns out that Jen is nuts. You know what they say, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." Anyway, this afternoon she sent me an email about the summer saying that she would need Wednesday afternoons off to attend a particular class.
That particular class is a particular kind of therapy for people with borderline personality disorder. BPD is more than depression and just short of psychosis.
Now, it's not like this came out of the clear blue sky. I had noticed a few quirky personality traits. And yesterday she said something to me that I had already intended to look into.
But BPD is serious. It would be fine if she were just a housekeeper, or my secretary or a coworker. But this is somebody who is caring for my children. Someone who might have issues with judgment or making impulsive decisions. Caring for my children. And on the minor end of the spectrum (although increasingly problematic if I actually do start a new job) someone who might not be dependable.
So I'm thinking that I will be returning to my original summer plan of putting the girls in a day camp. I will talk to Jen first, but I am very concerned about allowing someone with BPD care for my children all summer long.
And of course, I no longer have Lucy as a back-up.
I honestly don't think my life could be any more f'd up right now. I may or may not have a job in two weeks. I may or may not have a babysitter for the summer. At least DH hasn't left me yet.
5/4/09
Can I have one more uncomfortable conversation today? Please?
So I turned in my resignation to Big Boss this morning. It was obvious that Partner had already tipped him off. He pretty much just said, "ok, whatever."
Well, then he added, "But you know there's a conflict with the X case? I mean, that could be a problem for you. The client would have to waive the conflict, and I just don't know whether they will do that for you. I'm going to have to think about what to do about that." [No this is not THE conflict case. Big Boss doesn't know about that case.]
Which was complete and total BS. I have been involved from the very beginning of X case. It is in pre-litigation--if the other side has retained counsel, they haven't bothered to tell us about it. What's more, even if there were a true conflict, this is a very small case taken by Big Boss solely as a favor to a friend. It's unimaginable that the client would not grant the waiver if asked by Big Boss. But really--I have no idea what is up with this imaginary conflict.
The rest of the day went smoothly. Big Boss was surprisingly pleasant. But then he started giving me assignments on brand new cases that I had never worked on. WTH? Why on earth would you give someone whose halfway out the door new assignments.
He's also bumping up a bunch of deadlines on another case that I have worked on so that I will have everything done before I leave--but at least that makes sense.
Then this evening, I had to have a chat with our nanny, Lucy. I have posted before about having issues with her. She is incredibly dependable and loves the twins like a grandmother. But she doesn't get along with PS at all and clearly favors the twins. And she is increasingly reluctant to take the kids places--which is why I have a nanny in the first place. A few weeks ago her car battery died when she was picking up the girls from school. Instead of just walking home (we live 4 blocks from school and the weather was nice!) she called one of our neighbors to come pick them up. This neighbor doesn't even pick her own kids up from school!
Anyway, DH and I decided that we were not going to use her over the summer. We used her last summer, and it was so very expensive that it nearly broke us. A day camp would cost only 60% what we paid her--so that was what we were planning to do for the summer. I told her this two months ago, so that she would have adequate time to plan or make other arrangements for the summer.
Since that time, we have been using another sitter, Jen two days a week. Jen also cleans house, and has been doing a fantastic job. She loves hanging out with all of the girls, and has been begging to get to take them more places. So, I talked to Jen about reducing her regular hourly rate and taking a full-time position over the summer. Jen's salary would be in line with what we would pay for day camp, we would still have the convenience of having the girls in their own home, and she would take the girls to the pool several times a week and where ever else they would like to go. Oh, and she'd still be helping out with the housework.
So, because Lucy had been pumping the kids for info about their summer plans, I felt that I needed to share this information with her. Needless to say, she was not happy. She has mentioned more than once that we are "rich" now, so I guess she didn't believe my statement that this was a largely economic decision. I also told her that I wanted someone who would take the kids places and keep them busy all summer. She replied that kids are just too busy now days and need more time at home.
Then she said, "I can't believe you are treating me this way. I was with you when you were going to school, and you just come in and replace me with someone else. And to treat an older person like that is just wrong."
Ok, I understand that she is unhappy, I really do. But 1) I could never get away with speaking to my employer in such a way; and 2) I found someone who does her job better for less pay (no, she's not illegal, and yes, she's earning a fair amount above minimum wage.) I am not going to put my family under financial strain because Lucy thinks I owe her something.* The only reason that she is still around at all is because the twins love her. I don't want to be unfair to her, but she is no longer the best thing for our family.
* No, I don't think that I am causing her financial strain. Of course, I don't know her finances, but based on what I do know about her personal life, I think she works for her "mad money." And that is why I have her 3 months notice of our summer plans--she could certainly pick up another summer job if that is what she wanted to do.
Well, then he added, "But you know there's a conflict with the X case? I mean, that could be a problem for you. The client would have to waive the conflict, and I just don't know whether they will do that for you. I'm going to have to think about what to do about that." [No this is not THE conflict case. Big Boss doesn't know about that case.]
Which was complete and total BS. I have been involved from the very beginning of X case. It is in pre-litigation--if the other side has retained counsel, they haven't bothered to tell us about it. What's more, even if there were a true conflict, this is a very small case taken by Big Boss solely as a favor to a friend. It's unimaginable that the client would not grant the waiver if asked by Big Boss. But really--I have no idea what is up with this imaginary conflict.
The rest of the day went smoothly. Big Boss was surprisingly pleasant. But then he started giving me assignments on brand new cases that I had never worked on. WTH? Why on earth would you give someone whose halfway out the door new assignments.
He's also bumping up a bunch of deadlines on another case that I have worked on so that I will have everything done before I leave--but at least that makes sense.
Then this evening, I had to have a chat with our nanny, Lucy. I have posted before about having issues with her. She is incredibly dependable and loves the twins like a grandmother. But she doesn't get along with PS at all and clearly favors the twins. And she is increasingly reluctant to take the kids places--which is why I have a nanny in the first place. A few weeks ago her car battery died when she was picking up the girls from school. Instead of just walking home (we live 4 blocks from school and the weather was nice!) she called one of our neighbors to come pick them up. This neighbor doesn't even pick her own kids up from school!
Anyway, DH and I decided that we were not going to use her over the summer. We used her last summer, and it was so very expensive that it nearly broke us. A day camp would cost only 60% what we paid her--so that was what we were planning to do for the summer. I told her this two months ago, so that she would have adequate time to plan or make other arrangements for the summer.
Since that time, we have been using another sitter, Jen two days a week. Jen also cleans house, and has been doing a fantastic job. She loves hanging out with all of the girls, and has been begging to get to take them more places. So, I talked to Jen about reducing her regular hourly rate and taking a full-time position over the summer. Jen's salary would be in line with what we would pay for day camp, we would still have the convenience of having the girls in their own home, and she would take the girls to the pool several times a week and where ever else they would like to go. Oh, and she'd still be helping out with the housework.
So, because Lucy had been pumping the kids for info about their summer plans, I felt that I needed to share this information with her. Needless to say, she was not happy. She has mentioned more than once that we are "rich" now, so I guess she didn't believe my statement that this was a largely economic decision. I also told her that I wanted someone who would take the kids places and keep them busy all summer. She replied that kids are just too busy now days and need more time at home.
Then she said, "I can't believe you are treating me this way. I was with you when you were going to school, and you just come in and replace me with someone else. And to treat an older person like that is just wrong."
Ok, I understand that she is unhappy, I really do. But 1) I could never get away with speaking to my employer in such a way; and 2) I found someone who does her job better for less pay (no, she's not illegal, and yes, she's earning a fair amount above minimum wage.) I am not going to put my family under financial strain because Lucy thinks I owe her something.* The only reason that she is still around at all is because the twins love her. I don't want to be unfair to her, but she is no longer the best thing for our family.
* No, I don't think that I am causing her financial strain. Of course, I don't know her finances, but based on what I do know about her personal life, I think she works for her "mad money." And that is why I have her 3 months notice of our summer plans--she could certainly pick up another summer job if that is what she wanted to do.
5/3/09
Good weekend
This weekend has been exactly what I needed--relaxing.
The twins had a sleepover Friday night, so it was just PS, DH and I. We thought PS was overdue for some mommy/daddy time, so we went out to dinner and then to a new hangout for bowling, go-cart racing and video gaming. PS had a great time getting all of our attention and we were all pooped by the time we finally made it home at nearly 11:00 p.m.
Saturday morning we were up and at 'em for soccer games. DH took PS to her game, and I was to pick up the twins and head out to TT's game. I made it halfway to the soccer fields when I realized that I hadn't picked up the twins! I think I am losing my mind. Fortunately, I was running ahead of schedule, so my absent mindedness didn't make us late. After the games we all went out for brunch at a local diner. It was nice and relaxing and unhurried. (I almost hate gong out to dinner anymore, because there is always a long wait and the restaurants are always crowded and so loud you can hardly carry on a conversation.)
Then I went out shopping for MIL. She has lost more than 30 lbs. since the cancer returned last November and none of her clothes fit anymore, so I bought her a couple of new spring outfits. (And I may have picked up a new sweater for myself. But it was only $15, and I'm a sucker for a bargain.) But I was so caught up in my shopping that I didn't realize it had started pouring. In the 150' that I ran from the store to my car I got completely, to the skin drenched. It looked like I had just dived into a pool fully clothed. I was only 10 minutes from home, and thankful that I was in the Behemoth because the roads were flooding and I don't think I would have made it in the clown car. My phone started ringing just as I was pulling into the garage--DH was trying to tell me that we were under a tornado warning. It poured buckets the rest of the day, which was a fantastic excuse to nap and generally be a bum.
More slovenliness today. I need to draft my letter of resignation, but I am procrastinating. I am not looking forward to breaking the news to Big Boss. But I think once I get over that hump, I can start really looking forward to the change.
The twins had a sleepover Friday night, so it was just PS, DH and I. We thought PS was overdue for some mommy/daddy time, so we went out to dinner and then to a new hangout for bowling, go-cart racing and video gaming. PS had a great time getting all of our attention and we were all pooped by the time we finally made it home at nearly 11:00 p.m.
Saturday morning we were up and at 'em for soccer games. DH took PS to her game, and I was to pick up the twins and head out to TT's game. I made it halfway to the soccer fields when I realized that I hadn't picked up the twins! I think I am losing my mind. Fortunately, I was running ahead of schedule, so my absent mindedness didn't make us late. After the games we all went out for brunch at a local diner. It was nice and relaxing and unhurried. (I almost hate gong out to dinner anymore, because there is always a long wait and the restaurants are always crowded and so loud you can hardly carry on a conversation.)
Then I went out shopping for MIL. She has lost more than 30 lbs. since the cancer returned last November and none of her clothes fit anymore, so I bought her a couple of new spring outfits. (And I may have picked up a new sweater for myself. But it was only $15, and I'm a sucker for a bargain.) But I was so caught up in my shopping that I didn't realize it had started pouring. In the 150' that I ran from the store to my car I got completely, to the skin drenched. It looked like I had just dived into a pool fully clothed. I was only 10 minutes from home, and thankful that I was in the Behemoth because the roads were flooding and I don't think I would have made it in the clown car. My phone started ringing just as I was pulling into the garage--DH was trying to tell me that we were under a tornado warning. It poured buckets the rest of the day, which was a fantastic excuse to nap and generally be a bum.
More slovenliness today. I need to draft my letter of resignation, but I am procrastinating. I am not looking forward to breaking the news to Big Boss. But I think once I get over that hump, I can start really looking forward to the change.
5/2/09
I'm neck deep in now.
Friday did not go at all the way I intended, but the waiver shouldn't be a problem and I talked to Partner about leaving. I was told that I was up for a big raise and offered more money to stay. I was surprised by how they want to keep me.
I was very forthcoming with my reasons for leaving and I think I set off some alarm bells.
I will talk to Big Boss on Monday officially tender my resignation. I wanted to talk to him first, but Partner will be out most of next week and I really wanted to talk to Partner in person. And new firm wants me ASAP.
Overall, Friday was stressful--and I don't know what to anticipate on Monday.
I was very forthcoming with my reasons for leaving and I think I set off some alarm bells.
I will talk to Big Boss on Monday officially tender my resignation. I wanted to talk to him first, but Partner will be out most of next week and I really wanted to talk to Partner in person. And new firm wants me ASAP.
Overall, Friday was stressful--and I don't know what to anticipate on Monday.
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