Our plans to travel to Hometown this morning were thwarted by sickness. TT, who has been on antibiotics for an ear infection for the past week, spent most of Christmas day complaining that her ear was hurting again and the entire side of her face was throbbing. DH started developing a sore throat.
I sent them both to urgent care this morning. DH has strep and TT has a sinus infection. So we've delayed our trip.
Although we received a text on Christmas morning that DH's grandpa was declining, there hasn't been much change. The day was tense, constantly watching the phone, but I am thankful that he made it past Christmas.
The girls had a good day. Last night SS came downstairs and gave me a kiss and said "I love you! This was the best Christmas ever!" All she wanted for Christmas was "band merch" and concert tickets. The tickets were so cheap that I bought four--enough for each twin to go and take a friend, and she got plenty of band merch, too. It's been a long time since we've seen them so excited about something.
TT got Doctor Who Monopoly, and we spent most of the day playing. PS complained a bit, but I know she had fun. It was a great family day, despite the sad undertone.
12/26/14
12/24/14
Not So Merry Christmas
We found out yesterday that DH's grandpa was being admitted to hospice. It was something of a surprise, as we didn't know he was seriously ill. He had surgery a week or so ago that we knew was serious. He came through that ok, but then had some issues in recovery, and here we are. Now we feel like we are just waiting for the phone to ring with bad news.
We were already planning to head to Hometown on Friday. We discussed going earlier so that DH can see his grandfather, but he would rather remember him as he saw him last, and not in a sick bed. Also, his grandfather is in the same hospice that MIL was in, and I think DH just doesn't want to go there (and neither do I, but it's up to him). In fact, FIL told us that the hospice put Grandpa in a suite because they remembered us and how large the family is.
So now we don't know what will happen or how long we will need to stay in Hometown, but we will be packing heavily.
Ironically, we have been far more focused on my grandparents' failing health. They both have dementia and were moved to an assisted living facility a few months ago. My grandmother has declined rapidly and my dad thinks they need to be moved somewhere with a higher level of care. My aunt, who has power of attorney, disagrees. I've requested a family meeting, following a Saturday afternoon get-together, to which all have grudgingly agreed.
If my aunt wants to make a power play adverse to my grandparents' best interests, I will have to pull the lawyer card and threaten to file a guardianship action, which would trump the power of attorney. I do not want to do this, as it will start a war. I'm hopeful that we can have a civil and reasonable discussion, but reason does not always prevail in my family.
My dad and his sister do not get along at all, and my cousin and I have been stuck as the middle-women. My cousin suggested a group gift of new recliners for the grandparents. My side reluctantly agreed (because they think the grandparents need to move and may not be able to take their chairs), with a pre-set budget. My aunt was to handle the arrangements. She spent twice the agreed budget, without any consultation. I told her we will not contribute more.
Meanwhile, I am getting lots of pressure to visit my mother. I haven't spoken to her in 18 months, since she skipped my brother's wedding. She had her leg amputated a few weeks ago, and her health has continued to decline. If I go, I want to take her the leg lamp from A Christmas Story, but my family has forbidden it. Apparently she's depressed about losing the limb that has been completely useless and trying to kill her for the last 2.5 years. (Yes this sounds harsh, but she has spent 85% of her time since a major joint replacement in care facilities due to infections in the leg. She was already wheelchair-bound and the doctors recommended amputation two years ago, but she has refused.)
I hate family drama. This is why I usually find a reason to travel over the holidays. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how many of our grandparents will be around for another Christmas, and we thought it necessary to go to Hometown this year. I am dreading it.
We were already planning to head to Hometown on Friday. We discussed going earlier so that DH can see his grandfather, but he would rather remember him as he saw him last, and not in a sick bed. Also, his grandfather is in the same hospice that MIL was in, and I think DH just doesn't want to go there (and neither do I, but it's up to him). In fact, FIL told us that the hospice put Grandpa in a suite because they remembered us and how large the family is.
So now we don't know what will happen or how long we will need to stay in Hometown, but we will be packing heavily.
Ironically, we have been far more focused on my grandparents' failing health. They both have dementia and were moved to an assisted living facility a few months ago. My grandmother has declined rapidly and my dad thinks they need to be moved somewhere with a higher level of care. My aunt, who has power of attorney, disagrees. I've requested a family meeting, following a Saturday afternoon get-together, to which all have grudgingly agreed.
If my aunt wants to make a power play adverse to my grandparents' best interests, I will have to pull the lawyer card and threaten to file a guardianship action, which would trump the power of attorney. I do not want to do this, as it will start a war. I'm hopeful that we can have a civil and reasonable discussion, but reason does not always prevail in my family.
My dad and his sister do not get along at all, and my cousin and I have been stuck as the middle-women. My cousin suggested a group gift of new recliners for the grandparents. My side reluctantly agreed (because they think the grandparents need to move and may not be able to take their chairs), with a pre-set budget. My aunt was to handle the arrangements. She spent twice the agreed budget, without any consultation. I told her we will not contribute more.
Meanwhile, I am getting lots of pressure to visit my mother. I haven't spoken to her in 18 months, since she skipped my brother's wedding. She had her leg amputated a few weeks ago, and her health has continued to decline. If I go, I want to take her the leg lamp from A Christmas Story, but my family has forbidden it. Apparently she's depressed about losing the limb that has been completely useless and trying to kill her for the last 2.5 years. (Yes this sounds harsh, but she has spent 85% of her time since a major joint replacement in care facilities due to infections in the leg. She was already wheelchair-bound and the doctors recommended amputation two years ago, but she has refused.)
I hate family drama. This is why I usually find a reason to travel over the holidays. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how many of our grandparents will be around for another Christmas, and we thought it necessary to go to Hometown this year. I am dreading it.
Tap Tap Tap...Is This Thing On?
So, it's been a while. I did not voluntarily disappear. I was in the jury pool for a high-profile death penalty case. (You've probably heard about it.) There was a ridiculously long, duplicative, and overly nosy jury questionnaire required me to reveal the existence of this blog, and so I made it private. Hopefully I'm off the radar now that the trial is over. I don't love that my anonymity has been compromised in my own community, but I don't want to give up everything I've built here, either. I don't think there's anything too salacious in my old posts, anyway.
Individual voir dire was required in the case I was called for, and so I waited and waited and waited to hear that I was off the hook. Except I was never called for individual voir dire, nor was I ever informed that I was released from the jury pool. As someone who is quite invested in how our community perceives the jury system, I am more than a little irritated at the treatment here. Hundreds of people were called for this jury. We never heard one peep about continuances or when we were released from our obligations. And of course that obligation included avoiding all media where we might learn about these things. Court system fail!
I've missed blogging, but it wasn't very motivating without an audience. Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things. The blog is a good outlet.
Individual voir dire was required in the case I was called for, and so I waited and waited and waited to hear that I was off the hook. Except I was never called for individual voir dire, nor was I ever informed that I was released from the jury pool. As someone who is quite invested in how our community perceives the jury system, I am more than a little irritated at the treatment here. Hundreds of people were called for this jury. We never heard one peep about continuances or when we were released from our obligations. And of course that obligation included avoiding all media where we might learn about these things. Court system fail!
I've missed blogging, but it wasn't very motivating without an audience. Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things. The blog is a good outlet.
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