Spent a good hunk of my weekend doing doc review. I was supposed to finish up a very long memo for a meeting with Big Boss this afternoon, but it just didn't happen. So I got up early this morning so I could get in extra early and try to finish the memo. But traffic was a disaster and at least four different cars tried to run me off the road. Finally made it in just a little early.
So I closed my office door so I could finish up my memo before Big Boss arrived. And every five seconds someone knocked on my door with some inane question. I snapped at Big Boss' secretary who takes all of his crap and sticks it in my inbox so that my secretary has to distribute the filing instead of her. Probably should have handled it more diplomatically.
Never did finish up the memo, but it was mostly just polish left. Big Boss seemed satisfied with his cursory review, and he gave me a new assignment for another long, complex memo. And then I went back to work on my doc review. Because despite the fact that it has been handed off to another associate, he refuses to work on it if I am not in there. And it's my ass on the line if it doesn't get turned around ASAP. Grumble.
Brought home two boxes, but I'm so tired I can't bring myself to open them.
New nanny started today, and everything went mostly ok. But she forgot to mention during the interview process that she was going to be out of town the week of Thanksgiving. It wouldn't have affected our decision to hire her, but it would have been nice if she had been more up front about it.
And I notified my other nanny candidate that we had offered the position to someone else. She sent back a smart-ass response, griping about how bad the economy is. Looks like we made the right decision. I really liked her after our initial interview, but she seemed to get a little flaky after that. Glad we were thorough with the interview process.
And then SIL just called to update us on FIL. It's not good. He's been seeing a counselor and is being treated for depression. Despite his assurances a few months ago that he had done his grieving, he is finally acknowledging that everything is not ok. He's been missing work and sleeping all day. It's bad enough that DH just called his sister back and told her to go get FIL's guns. Oh, and MIL's birthday is Thursday. Looks like we may be visiting Hometown this weekend.
8/30/10
8/26/10
TGI almost F
This week has been insane. Three of my bigger cases have all decided to explode at once. I was just surprised with 90 boxes of documents that need to be reviewed within the next week. And to make doc review even more fun, they are nasty, rotten, moldy boxes. Literally, huge globs of black mold growing on some of the documents. Ah, the glamorous life of a lawyer. And while I was enduring all of this fun, Big Boss was frantically calling me to arrange an emergency meeting involving several parties in another case while he was stuck in meetings all morning. My phone range off the wall all freakin' day.
In other news, I've hired a new nanny, contingent upon a successful test-drive on Saturday morning. I always leave the girls with a new nanny for a couple of hours while DH and I hang out somewhere nearby before I make a final offer. She is a senior in high school, but she seems very mature, and will hopefully be just what we need for this 3-hour per day school-year position. Whew--one big to-do off my list.
But there is no way in heck I could leave my girls with a teenager for a week while we cruise the Caribbean--so it looks like we will be making some changes to our cruising plan. The only way we can go is if we take the kids with us. I am not happy about this. We have not traveled anywhere without the kids in 8 years, and we deserve some grown-up time for our anniversary. But alas, it was not meant to be. To add salt to the wounds, I am going to have to change ships and itineraries. I loved our itinerary--we were going to see Mayan ruins, ziplining, snorkeling and have a beach day. But that cruise just totally blows our budget when there are five of us instead of two. I've found an alternative, but it sails to the Bahamas and Grand Turk--so no ruins and no ziplines. Only beach days (oh the torture!)
We are also going to pull the kids out of school. I have never allowed the kids to miss for vacation or non-illness/dying grandma reasons. I'm generally opposed to taking the kids out of school for vacations--particularly non-educational ones. But I can't reschedule. I have trials set every.single.month from February through next November. Of course, probably none of them will actually go, but I still have to plan around them. So it looks like I will be breaking my own rule. I'm sure their teachers will be thrilled.
But I guess I can't complain too much. A vacation with my kids is better than no vacation, and any cruise is better than no cruise.
In other news, I've hired a new nanny, contingent upon a successful test-drive on Saturday morning. I always leave the girls with a new nanny for a couple of hours while DH and I hang out somewhere nearby before I make a final offer. She is a senior in high school, but she seems very mature, and will hopefully be just what we need for this 3-hour per day school-year position. Whew--one big to-do off my list.
But there is no way in heck I could leave my girls with a teenager for a week while we cruise the Caribbean--so it looks like we will be making some changes to our cruising plan. The only way we can go is if we take the kids with us. I am not happy about this. We have not traveled anywhere without the kids in 8 years, and we deserve some grown-up time for our anniversary. But alas, it was not meant to be. To add salt to the wounds, I am going to have to change ships and itineraries. I loved our itinerary--we were going to see Mayan ruins, ziplining, snorkeling and have a beach day. But that cruise just totally blows our budget when there are five of us instead of two. I've found an alternative, but it sails to the Bahamas and Grand Turk--so no ruins and no ziplines. Only beach days (oh the torture!)
We are also going to pull the kids out of school. I have never allowed the kids to miss for vacation or non-illness/dying grandma reasons. I'm generally opposed to taking the kids out of school for vacations--particularly non-educational ones. But I can't reschedule. I have trials set every.single.month from February through next November. Of course, probably none of them will actually go, but I still have to plan around them. So it looks like I will be breaking my own rule. I'm sure their teachers will be thrilled.
But I guess I can't complain too much. A vacation with my kids is better than no vacation, and any cruise is better than no cruise.
8/21/10
Today was better
It turns out that my mom took a fall and, miraculously, did not break anything, but suffered a severe cut. It took something like 36 stitches plus some surgical glue and steri-strips to patch her up. And apparently her face took the brunt of the fall and she looks like she's been in a bar fight.
Her husband left town to visit his elderly mother the day before the fall , so my brother and his girls are stuck babysitting her all weekend. It's their last weekend before school starts, and he is a teacher and has last minute prep work. I'm pretty sure he would strangle me if he could for living 400 miles away and leaving him to deal with the chaos. I told him to tell her to pay my 25-year-old out-of work cousin to be her caretaker for a few days. My mother can afford it and my cousin could use the cash. (Maybe this sounds harsh, but she has never really stepped up to help me or my brother when times were tough. He was a teenage parent who has struggled a lot, with virtually no help from either of our parents.)
Also got the garage door fixed. I went with the guy with a slightly higher quote just because he was friendly and really good about explaining the issues when I spoke with him. The guy with the lower quote was kind of an ass on the phone. Just goes to show, customer service counts.
Wound up our evening watching Close Encounters of the Third Kind for family movie night. DH was disappointed to learn that the girls and I just didn't appreciate it the way he does.
Her husband left town to visit his elderly mother the day before the fall , so my brother and his girls are stuck babysitting her all weekend. It's their last weekend before school starts, and he is a teacher and has last minute prep work. I'm pretty sure he would strangle me if he could for living 400 miles away and leaving him to deal with the chaos. I told him to tell her to pay my 25-year-old out-of work cousin to be her caretaker for a few days. My mother can afford it and my cousin could use the cash. (Maybe this sounds harsh, but she has never really stepped up to help me or my brother when times were tough. He was a teenage parent who has struggled a lot, with virtually no help from either of our parents.)
Also got the garage door fixed. I went with the guy with a slightly higher quote just because he was friendly and really good about explaining the issues when I spoke with him. The guy with the lower quote was kind of an ass on the phone. Just goes to show, customer service counts.
Wound up our evening watching Close Encounters of the Third Kind for family movie night. DH was disappointed to learn that the girls and I just didn't appreciate it the way he does.
8/20/10
Chaos
Can it stop please.
First my nanny put in notice, leaving me once again scrambling for child care. Then I realized that this totally screws up our cruise plans for November. My final payment is due in two weeks, and then it becomes nonrefundable. We are screwed if we don't have reliable child care in place. Or we can cancel now. Or we can just take the kids. But this is our anniversary trip, and we really wanted grown-up time. And the trip we are booked on would require pulling the kids out of school, which I am really opposed to--especially since this is a totally non-educational trip.
Then nanny's car got vandalized--eggs were broken all over the interior of her car--so she had to deal with getting it cleaned while she was watching the girls yesterday. And when she pulled her car into the driveway, our garage door became demon-possessed and wouldn't stop opening and closing. She called me frantically at work, and I told her to throw the breaker, because nothing would make it stop. Turns out the spring broke.
Then we had PS's schedule pick up night, where we attempted to find all of her classes in her new middle school. The place was a zoo, and I pray she doesn't get lost on the first day.
Then as soon as I walked into work this morning, the receptionist informed me that our firm had been burgled overnight, and I needed to check my office to see if anything was missing. the thieves had started loading up our computers and had them stacked up by the back door. Security caught them in the act, and the bad guys got away, but it doesn't look like they took anything. Our office is on the 9th floor! Who the hell breaks into a 9th floor office? Or a law firm? It's not like we keep any cash on the premises.
Once I finally got settled in, I started making calls to have the garage door fixed. Apparently replacing the spring is not a do-it-yourself project.
Left the office early for the twins' meet the teacher night. Another zoo. And SS' teacher had a baby today, so SS will have a sub for the first 6 weeks of school. Also, all of TT's and SS's friends are in TT's class--poor SS has no one (fortunately, she can make friends anywhere, so I think she'll be fine.)
I was supposed to meet with new prospective nanny immediately after meet the teacher night, but she flaked. Arghhh.
Got a call from my brother at 10:30 tonight saying that my mom fell and there was blood everywhere and she was in shock and an ambulance was taking her to the hospital. Brother was on the way to meet her at the hospital and didn't have a lot of information, so I am staying up until he calls back. My mom is in terrible health and has had many joint replacements, so it wouldn't surprise me to hear she broke something, but the blood everywhere is concerning. And I her bones are so brittle and she's already had so many replacements that my understanding is that they can't do any more replacements.
I'm afraid to see what tomorrow holds.
First my nanny put in notice, leaving me once again scrambling for child care. Then I realized that this totally screws up our cruise plans for November. My final payment is due in two weeks, and then it becomes nonrefundable. We are screwed if we don't have reliable child care in place. Or we can cancel now. Or we can just take the kids. But this is our anniversary trip, and we really wanted grown-up time. And the trip we are booked on would require pulling the kids out of school, which I am really opposed to--especially since this is a totally non-educational trip.
Then nanny's car got vandalized--eggs were broken all over the interior of her car--so she had to deal with getting it cleaned while she was watching the girls yesterday. And when she pulled her car into the driveway, our garage door became demon-possessed and wouldn't stop opening and closing. She called me frantically at work, and I told her to throw the breaker, because nothing would make it stop. Turns out the spring broke.
Then we had PS's schedule pick up night, where we attempted to find all of her classes in her new middle school. The place was a zoo, and I pray she doesn't get lost on the first day.
Then as soon as I walked into work this morning, the receptionist informed me that our firm had been burgled overnight, and I needed to check my office to see if anything was missing. the thieves had started loading up our computers and had them stacked up by the back door. Security caught them in the act, and the bad guys got away, but it doesn't look like they took anything. Our office is on the 9th floor! Who the hell breaks into a 9th floor office? Or a law firm? It's not like we keep any cash on the premises.
Once I finally got settled in, I started making calls to have the garage door fixed. Apparently replacing the spring is not a do-it-yourself project.
Left the office early for the twins' meet the teacher night. Another zoo. And SS' teacher had a baby today, so SS will have a sub for the first 6 weeks of school. Also, all of TT's and SS's friends are in TT's class--poor SS has no one (fortunately, she can make friends anywhere, so I think she'll be fine.)
I was supposed to meet with new prospective nanny immediately after meet the teacher night, but she flaked. Arghhh.
Got a call from my brother at 10:30 tonight saying that my mom fell and there was blood everywhere and she was in shock and an ambulance was taking her to the hospital. Brother was on the way to meet her at the hospital and didn't have a lot of information, so I am staying up until he calls back. My mom is in terrible health and has had many joint replacements, so it wouldn't surprise me to hear she broke something, but the blood everywhere is concerning. And I her bones are so brittle and she's already had so many replacements that my understanding is that they can't do any more replacements.
I'm afraid to see what tomorrow holds.
8/16/10
Sigh...
The new nanny put in notice today. She has decided to go back to school. In Virginia.
We've only had her for 5 weeks. I knew she was over-qualified when I hired her, but I hoped that she would last longer than this. We talked about her having one year of college left, but I guess I wrongly assumed that she would attend school here. You could definitely work a college schedule around my girls' after-school schedule.
Ugh. I lost an entire weekend to interviewing nannies the last time around, and am not looking forward to a repeat. Plus my girls have already become attached to new nanny, and a little stability would be nice.
One of the biggest challenges of being a working mom is finding quality child care. My mom left us with whatever in-home care provider she could find at a bargain--and we had some of the worst babysitters on the planet over the years. There was the one who made a boy drink his own pee because he wet the bed; the one who burned her grass and stomped it out with her house slippers; the one who allowed her 5th grader to smoke; the 16 year old runaway who lived on our couch until she disappeared one day, taking all of the cash in my piggy bank; the crazy holy roller who told us graphic crucifixion stories and took us to church were people were speaking in tongues and turning cartwheels in the aisles, and who yelled at us for wearing shorts because God didn't approve (then God shouldn't have given us triple-digit summers) and who took us to the free summer lunch program in the parks and then took all of the leftovers to feed us the rest of the week, and who crammed about 5 kids into the back of a Volkswagen Rabbit, and who had a pet guinea pig who was allowed to run all over the house, leaving a trial of guinea pig pellets. Makes the one who just plopped us in front of the soaps all summer not seem so bad.
So, my very bad childhood experience makes child care a very high priority for me. And so far we've been lucky in that every nanny seems to have genuinely cared about my children. But I don't like the turnover of the last couple of months, and it's hard on the kids.
The tiny ray of hope is that the #2 choice from my interviews is still interested in the position. Hopefully it will work out, but when I interviewed her she had another job that I was concerned would conflict, so we'll see.
We've only had her for 5 weeks. I knew she was over-qualified when I hired her, but I hoped that she would last longer than this. We talked about her having one year of college left, but I guess I wrongly assumed that she would attend school here. You could definitely work a college schedule around my girls' after-school schedule.
Ugh. I lost an entire weekend to interviewing nannies the last time around, and am not looking forward to a repeat. Plus my girls have already become attached to new nanny, and a little stability would be nice.
One of the biggest challenges of being a working mom is finding quality child care. My mom left us with whatever in-home care provider she could find at a bargain--and we had some of the worst babysitters on the planet over the years. There was the one who made a boy drink his own pee because he wet the bed; the one who burned her grass and stomped it out with her house slippers; the one who allowed her 5th grader to smoke; the 16 year old runaway who lived on our couch until she disappeared one day, taking all of the cash in my piggy bank; the crazy holy roller who told us graphic crucifixion stories and took us to church were people were speaking in tongues and turning cartwheels in the aisles, and who yelled at us for wearing shorts because God didn't approve (then God shouldn't have given us triple-digit summers) and who took us to the free summer lunch program in the parks and then took all of the leftovers to feed us the rest of the week, and who crammed about 5 kids into the back of a Volkswagen Rabbit, and who had a pet guinea pig who was allowed to run all over the house, leaving a trial of guinea pig pellets. Makes the one who just plopped us in front of the soaps all summer not seem so bad.
So, my very bad childhood experience makes child care a very high priority for me. And so far we've been lucky in that every nanny seems to have genuinely cared about my children. But I don't like the turnover of the last couple of months, and it's hard on the kids.
The tiny ray of hope is that the #2 choice from my interviews is still interested in the position. Hopefully it will work out, but when I interviewed her she had another job that I was concerned would conflict, so we'll see.
8/15/10
Must See Adorableness
I found Mila's Daydreams today and was amazed by the creativity and sheer cuteness. One of those things I wish I had thought of when my girls were little. But then, when my little ones were sleeping, I wouldn't have dared move them for fear that they would wake up!See, I'm not totally old and cranky. I still enjoy pictures of adorable babies--I just don't want to hear them cry!
I'm old and cranky
I have reached the point in my life where screaming children grate on my last nerve. I was in the grocery store today and a little boy (probably about 18 months) kept screeching. His parents have apparently learned to block out this ear-piercing scream, as they seemed completely unaffected and never broke from their conversation
And it now seems that I encounter a similar situation every single time I leave the house--which leaves me eternally grateful that my children are now big kids. I'm sure they had their moments when they were toddlers, but I don't recall allowing them to scream without recourse. And I can count on one hand the number of temper-tantrums they collectively threw.
I miss the cute snuggliness of their toddler years, but I really enjoy the freedom that we have now to get-up-and go, and to go all day if we want (and not have to pack up half the house!). I really enjoyed my shopping trips with the girls these past two days--something that would have been torture just a couple of years ago.
Of course, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. On Friday my nanny called me at work, distraught because the kids had let a stray dog into the house who was taking it upon itself to run around marking his territory--and they told her that I had said it was ok. Of course, I had told them no such thing (they texted me that they had found a stray, and I told them to put it in the backyard with water and that I would deal with it when I got home.) They ended up in a world of trouble--but at least they are old enough to reason with and appreciate why their actions were such a bad idea, once they were explained.
It seems like everyone I know if pregnant right now. A year ago, I might have had some major baby cravings. But in the last 6 months, they have completely disappeared. I got lots of sunggle time with my newborn nephew when MIL was in hospice. I enjoyed the sweet smell of a new baby--but I was awfully darn happy to give him back to his mama when he was inconsolable. And I'm awfully darn happy with my big girls.
And it now seems that I encounter a similar situation every single time I leave the house--which leaves me eternally grateful that my children are now big kids. I'm sure they had their moments when they were toddlers, but I don't recall allowing them to scream without recourse. And I can count on one hand the number of temper-tantrums they collectively threw.
I miss the cute snuggliness of their toddler years, but I really enjoy the freedom that we have now to get-up-and go, and to go all day if we want (and not have to pack up half the house!). I really enjoyed my shopping trips with the girls these past two days--something that would have been torture just a couple of years ago.
Of course, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. On Friday my nanny called me at work, distraught because the kids had let a stray dog into the house who was taking it upon itself to run around marking his territory--and they told her that I had said it was ok. Of course, I had told them no such thing (they texted me that they had found a stray, and I told them to put it in the backyard with water and that I would deal with it when I got home.) They ended up in a world of trouble--but at least they are old enough to reason with and appreciate why their actions were such a bad idea, once they were explained.
It seems like everyone I know if pregnant right now. A year ago, I might have had some major baby cravings. But in the last 6 months, they have completely disappeared. I got lots of sunggle time with my newborn nephew when MIL was in hospice. I enjoyed the sweet smell of a new baby--but I was awfully darn happy to give him back to his mama when he was inconsolable. And I'm awfully darn happy with my big girls.
8/14/10
And so it begins
School, that is. I'm not really ready for school to start again. I enjoy to more relaxed pace of summer, where I get to sleep in an extra half hour because I'm not nagging three kids to move along in the morning, and where we don't lose most of our evening to math homework or PTA programs or back-to-back soccer practices.
Next week is our last week of summer vacation, but the hecticness has already started to creep back in. PS, who is starting her first year of middle school, had cheer camp all last week, and last night we had to rush home for her show-offs. And next week we have back to school nights on Thursday and Friday. We now have the added challenge of kids in two different schools. Meet the teacher nights will also be on consecutive nights the first week of September.
I'm worried about how my quiet, bookish PS will fare in middle school. PS is petite and also the youngest in her class--which makes her the smallest in her class. She looked like a little kid imposing among the much taller cheerleaders last night. Her BFF is about a foot taller than she, but they've always had a huge spread.
Nevertheless, she is apparently growing, because a survey of her closet this morning revealed that all of the shorts I bought at the beginning of summer are now too small. So today we went shopping. She is unfortunately caught between the kids' and juniors' clothing departments. I remember that place well when I was going into junior high--too small for the junior's department and not wanting to wear kid clothes. Fortunately, we now live in a much larger city than I did growing up, and she has more options. She can wear XS t-shirts from Delias, Abercrombie and Aeropostale. And she can wear a size 00 skinny jean at Delias. But the 00 at American Eagle and Aeropostale swallowed her. So we ended up in the kids' department at Old Navy for some basic denim capris and mini-skirts--nothing too obviously from the kids' department. We got some super-cute outfits and a pair of sparkly purple Converse.
Tomorrow I'll take the twins shoe shopping. Their closet is well stocked, thanks to PS's hand-me-downs, but their feet have now overtaken hers (should 4th graders be wearing a Women's size 6???) and the flip-flops they have been living in all summer aren't allowed at school.
Next week is our last week of summer vacation, but the hecticness has already started to creep back in. PS, who is starting her first year of middle school, had cheer camp all last week, and last night we had to rush home for her show-offs. And next week we have back to school nights on Thursday and Friday. We now have the added challenge of kids in two different schools. Meet the teacher nights will also be on consecutive nights the first week of September.
I'm worried about how my quiet, bookish PS will fare in middle school. PS is petite and also the youngest in her class--which makes her the smallest in her class. She looked like a little kid imposing among the much taller cheerleaders last night. Her BFF is about a foot taller than she, but they've always had a huge spread.
Nevertheless, she is apparently growing, because a survey of her closet this morning revealed that all of the shorts I bought at the beginning of summer are now too small. So today we went shopping. She is unfortunately caught between the kids' and juniors' clothing departments. I remember that place well when I was going into junior high--too small for the junior's department and not wanting to wear kid clothes. Fortunately, we now live in a much larger city than I did growing up, and she has more options. She can wear XS t-shirts from Delias, Abercrombie and Aeropostale. And she can wear a size 00 skinny jean at Delias. But the 00 at American Eagle and Aeropostale swallowed her. So we ended up in the kids' department at Old Navy for some basic denim capris and mini-skirts--nothing too obviously from the kids' department. We got some super-cute outfits and a pair of sparkly purple Converse.
Tomorrow I'll take the twins shoe shopping. Their closet is well stocked, thanks to PS's hand-me-downs, but their feet have now overtaken hers (should 4th graders be wearing a Women's size 6???) and the flip-flops they have been living in all summer aren't allowed at school.
8/10/10
Law Dork
I wish that I could blog more about the specifics of my job. My big case just got bigger and may turn out to be one of the most fun (in the lawyer sense) cases I have worked on thus far in my career.
There is a lot of money at stake. There are many wealthy and influential parties. We are treading completely new ground because there is absolutely no related case law in my state (I'm now looking at other states, but this is a pretty state-specific issue.) And to top it all off, opposing counsel is the biggest prick I have ever encountered. He has threatened to personally sue all of the other attorneys involved and had already brought about 10 preposterous claims against my client and the other parties involved. He reminds me of the two-year old who throws a temper-tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. Which just makes me want to grind him into dust with a stiletto heel.
I'm psyched. It's going to be a hell of a battle, but if the darn thing actually makes it to trial we will be creating a new area of law.
And in almost as exciting news, I officially got rid of the boots today. I actually ditched them last Thursday, but today was my follow-up appointment. My ankles are still broken and I still can't do any serious walking or running or anything else that causes an impact, but at least I can wear real shoes again. Doc also said that I can't do The Great Urban Race--which is a major bummer--but he thought I'd be ok climbing Mayan ruins and ziplining on our cruise in November.
There is a lot of money at stake. There are many wealthy and influential parties. We are treading completely new ground because there is absolutely no related case law in my state (I'm now looking at other states, but this is a pretty state-specific issue.) And to top it all off, opposing counsel is the biggest prick I have ever encountered. He has threatened to personally sue all of the other attorneys involved and had already brought about 10 preposterous claims against my client and the other parties involved. He reminds me of the two-year old who throws a temper-tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. Which just makes me want to grind him into dust with a stiletto heel.
I'm psyched. It's going to be a hell of a battle, but if the darn thing actually makes it to trial we will be creating a new area of law.
And in almost as exciting news, I officially got rid of the boots today. I actually ditched them last Thursday, but today was my follow-up appointment. My ankles are still broken and I still can't do any serious walking or running or anything else that causes an impact, but at least I can wear real shoes again. Doc also said that I can't do The Great Urban Race--which is a major bummer--but he thought I'd be ok climbing Mayan ruins and ziplining on our cruise in November.
8/4/10
So tired
After a couple of slow months I am hopping again. Big Boss put me on a new case with multiple complex issues, and I have spent the last week doing nothing but intense research. I am exhausted by the end of every day from being "on" all day.
I thought we were in good shape when I left yesterday, and took my time coming in to work this morning, after a week full of very early mornings. I was also planning to cut out of the office early today (I had originally planned to take the day off). Ha! As soon as I hit the office I had an email from Big Boss that was sent late yesterday (guess I hadn't bothered to check my iphone) expecting me to have reviewed a document by the time he got into the office. Oops. Fortunately it was short and I did have time to look over it before he arrived, but it set the tone for the rest of the day.
I finally left at 5:45, but have plenty to do this weekend. But DH and the twins left town for his sister's graduation, and I didn't want to leave PS alone for too long (and I had promised her some mommy time) so I rushed home so we could get some dinner. Then we went to the craft store to get supplies for a birthday present, went to Target for more supplies and the required workout clothes that PS needs for cheer camp next week (that I got an email about 2 days ago, thanks for all the notice), finally made it home by 9, spent an hour putting together our project (which turned out awesome, thankyouverymuch--maybe I'll post pics tomorrow) and collapsed in a heap of exhaustion.
Tomorrow PS and I are going to see Ramona and Beezus and do a little shopping as we meander our way to my uncle's house on the opposite end of the metroplex where my family is convening for my mother's 60th birthday.
Sunday I will finish up my work project because I have a Monday deadline. Hopefully (or maybe not) things will settle down next week. We're waiting the client to make a big decision. It will be a fun case to move forward with because of all of the complex issues--but it will mean a whole lot more craziness. And all of my other cases are acting like neglected children and are whining for attention. But being busy is so much better than the alternative.
I thought we were in good shape when I left yesterday, and took my time coming in to work this morning, after a week full of very early mornings. I was also planning to cut out of the office early today (I had originally planned to take the day off). Ha! As soon as I hit the office I had an email from Big Boss that was sent late yesterday (guess I hadn't bothered to check my iphone) expecting me to have reviewed a document by the time he got into the office. Oops. Fortunately it was short and I did have time to look over it before he arrived, but it set the tone for the rest of the day.
I finally left at 5:45, but have plenty to do this weekend. But DH and the twins left town for his sister's graduation, and I didn't want to leave PS alone for too long (and I had promised her some mommy time) so I rushed home so we could get some dinner. Then we went to the craft store to get supplies for a birthday present, went to Target for more supplies and the required workout clothes that PS needs for cheer camp next week (that I got an email about 2 days ago, thanks for all the notice), finally made it home by 9, spent an hour putting together our project (which turned out awesome, thankyouverymuch--maybe I'll post pics tomorrow) and collapsed in a heap of exhaustion.
Tomorrow PS and I are going to see Ramona and Beezus and do a little shopping as we meander our way to my uncle's house on the opposite end of the metroplex where my family is convening for my mother's 60th birthday.
Sunday I will finish up my work project because I have a Monday deadline. Hopefully (or maybe not) things will settle down next week. We're waiting the client to make a big decision. It will be a fun case to move forward with because of all of the complex issues--but it will mean a whole lot more craziness. And all of my other cases are acting like neglected children and are whining for attention. But being busy is so much better than the alternative.
8/3/10
Go ahead...analyze this one...
Last night I dreamed that people kept giving me dioramas and it was making me really mad. I did not want any more stinkin' dioramas! I swear I woke up every hour last night and every time I went back to sleep I dreamed about another stupid diorama.
I didn't know I had a hidden hatred for dioramas, but I woke up angry because of the diorama dreams.
I didn't know I had a hidden hatred for dioramas, but I woke up angry because of the diorama dreams.
8/1/10
The Great Divide
DH and the girls are at church. I am not. Because I don't believe in God, and I feel like a fraud when I go to church.
This is something of an issue in our marriage, and I'll admit that it's a little unfair to DH. After all, I was a purported Christian when we married. I had been raised in a fundamentalist church before my parents' divorce, and in the Baptist church after. And I grew up in a very conservative, smallish town where not being Christian was not an option. Everybody went to church.
So it wasn't until I went off to college (ironically, a Baptist school) that I began to question, and be turned off by, religion. I couldn't understand why any religion demanded intolerance of others--or why one group could be so certain that it was right and everyone else was wrong.
And this was my state of mind when DH and I married. Not an atheist, slightly agnostic, mostly fed-up with organized religion. And so I attended Catholic church with his devout family, and agreed to be married in the Catholic church because it was important to them and it was not to me.
My fundamentalist relatives thought I was going to Hell for marrying a Catholic, and DH's family assumed that I would eventually convert--especially since my mother had recently converted when she married hubby #3.
We attended the Catholic church together in the early part of our marriage, and had all of our kids baptized in the Catholic church. Even before my atheistic conversion, I thought it completely unnecessary to baptize children, but I did it because it was important to my husband's family and it wasn't a point worth arguing about.
By the time the twins came along, I was pretty much agnostic and going to church with three young children was a lot of trouble (no nursery), so we rarely attended. And sometime thereafter I admitted to myself, and to DH, that I simply didn't believe--and I couldn't make myself believe.
DH does not share my disbelief--and he worries about it. I am a closet atheist. Very few friends and relatives know that I am an atheist. This is partly because my MIL would have been genuinely worried about me--and she didn't need another burden, especially in the last years of her lift. My fundamentalist grandparents would also worry--although that concerns me less, since they already think I am going to Hell.
It is also not socially appropriate to be an atheist in this part of the world. Everyone just assumes you are Christian (unless you are obviously Jewish), and atheists are presumed to be outspoken God-haters who want to destroy Christianity.
For the record, I don't hate God, and I think Christianity is a great moral guidance system. I respect everyone's right to believe--or not--they way that they want. I would just like the same respect extended to my disbelief.
Anyway, one of MIL's deathbed requests was that our children have a religious education. She was clearly bothered that we had not been taking them to church. So DH has been taking them since her death. I feel a bit of guilt for not going--church does seem to be a family kind of thing--but every time I go, I feel like a poser. I don't believe in the songs they are singing or the message the pastor is delivering. And so they go, and I do not.
They kids know my position and their dad's position. They can make the decision about their own beliefs when the time is right for them. But, as DH pointed out, from a cultural standpoint, it is good for them to go to church and learn the bible stories and common biblical references that we all know. (Although, TT has read a 2" think illustrated children's Bible from cover to cover of her own volition, so she's self-educating.)
It's not ideal, but DH and I have mostly come to terms with our different beliefs.
This is something of an issue in our marriage, and I'll admit that it's a little unfair to DH. After all, I was a purported Christian when we married. I had been raised in a fundamentalist church before my parents' divorce, and in the Baptist church after. And I grew up in a very conservative, smallish town where not being Christian was not an option. Everybody went to church.
So it wasn't until I went off to college (ironically, a Baptist school) that I began to question, and be turned off by, religion. I couldn't understand why any religion demanded intolerance of others--or why one group could be so certain that it was right and everyone else was wrong.
And this was my state of mind when DH and I married. Not an atheist, slightly agnostic, mostly fed-up with organized religion. And so I attended Catholic church with his devout family, and agreed to be married in the Catholic church because it was important to them and it was not to me.
My fundamentalist relatives thought I was going to Hell for marrying a Catholic, and DH's family assumed that I would eventually convert--especially since my mother had recently converted when she married hubby #3.
We attended the Catholic church together in the early part of our marriage, and had all of our kids baptized in the Catholic church. Even before my atheistic conversion, I thought it completely unnecessary to baptize children, but I did it because it was important to my husband's family and it wasn't a point worth arguing about.
By the time the twins came along, I was pretty much agnostic and going to church with three young children was a lot of trouble (no nursery), so we rarely attended. And sometime thereafter I admitted to myself, and to DH, that I simply didn't believe--and I couldn't make myself believe.
DH does not share my disbelief--and he worries about it. I am a closet atheist. Very few friends and relatives know that I am an atheist. This is partly because my MIL would have been genuinely worried about me--and she didn't need another burden, especially in the last years of her lift. My fundamentalist grandparents would also worry--although that concerns me less, since they already think I am going to Hell.
It is also not socially appropriate to be an atheist in this part of the world. Everyone just assumes you are Christian (unless you are obviously Jewish), and atheists are presumed to be outspoken God-haters who want to destroy Christianity.
For the record, I don't hate God, and I think Christianity is a great moral guidance system. I respect everyone's right to believe--or not--they way that they want. I would just like the same respect extended to my disbelief.
Anyway, one of MIL's deathbed requests was that our children have a religious education. She was clearly bothered that we had not been taking them to church. So DH has been taking them since her death. I feel a bit of guilt for not going--church does seem to be a family kind of thing--but every time I go, I feel like a poser. I don't believe in the songs they are singing or the message the pastor is delivering. And so they go, and I do not.
They kids know my position and their dad's position. They can make the decision about their own beliefs when the time is right for them. But, as DH pointed out, from a cultural standpoint, it is good for them to go to church and learn the bible stories and common biblical references that we all know. (Although, TT has read a 2" think illustrated children's Bible from cover to cover of her own volition, so she's self-educating.)
It's not ideal, but DH and I have mostly come to terms with our different beliefs.
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