I'm not sure I'm going to survive 3 teenagers--and the twins are still only 11! But they have been giving me a run for my money this week, the likes of which I haven't seen since they were toddlers.
Apparently, TT and SS decided they didn't have to do homework anymore. I discovered this when I learned they were both failing math. This was something of a shock since all of my kids are typically straight-A students.
A call to the math teacher revealed that they hadn't been turning in any of their work. And once I started digging, I learned that this wasn't limited to math--they had missing papers in all of their classes. The math teacher was just the first to update their grades.
So we have spent every night this week doing makeup work. They are turning everything bit of their previously-skipped work in to their teachers, whether they can still get credit for it or not.
And they're on Amish house arrest. I've confiscated their iPods and their laptops* and locked down the television. The only thing I left them was their phones, because we don't have a landline and need to be able to get in touch with them.
The twins haven't been big texters, but apparently some of their friends just got phones and the texting has escalated. I got online today and saw that they have been texting nonstop this week--while they're grounded from everything else and long after bedtime.
So, I figured out how to activate the parental controls for their phones. I can now restrict what hours they are allowed to text, and exempt our immediate family and emergency contacts from the restrictions.
It is a lot of work staying a step ahead of them. And the biggest problem with the twins is that they have no currency. No matter what I take away from them, they will adapt. They are perfectly content to draw and read now that all of their electronic accoutrements are gone--and will spend hours at the table doodling instead of doing their homework.
Anyway, I am now all over the homework issue, so there will be no more slacking there. And they will remain technology-free until they have at least a B in math. But this week has royally sucked between all of the makeup work and teacher conferences and discipline. What happened to my sweet little girls who were always model students?
9/27/12
9/23/12
Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!
A few days ago PS said to me, "Do you know what happens in 11 days?"
And I responded, "yeah, the anniversary of the day I pushed your giant head out of my vagina."
She rolled her eyes and huffed off. It's so much fun torturing teenagers.
So tomorrow I've been a mom for 14 years. Hard to believe, and I'm not adjusting well. PS has changed so much in the last year, from a petite girl in middle school, to a grown-up sized young woman in high school. Last week she came downstairs in her go-to dress, paired with a pair of wedge-heeled booties and patterned tights. The dress had suddenly become too-short and too-tight and she had curves that seemingly appeared overnight. She is definitely not the 8-pound butterball I fell in love with 14 years ago.
Sadly, she's learning that birthdays get less fun as you get older. She's got school tomorrow, followed by robotics club and then the parent open-house. She's pretty much spending13 hours at school tomorrow. We're hoping we can squeeze in a super-quick dinner, but it's going to be a crazy day.
So tonight she gets Cherry Crunch per her request. And I guess we'll let her open her presents. Unless I want to torture her a little longer with them.
And I responded, "yeah, the anniversary of the day I pushed your giant head out of my vagina."
She rolled her eyes and huffed off. It's so much fun torturing teenagers.
So tomorrow I've been a mom for 14 years. Hard to believe, and I'm not adjusting well. PS has changed so much in the last year, from a petite girl in middle school, to a grown-up sized young woman in high school. Last week she came downstairs in her go-to dress, paired with a pair of wedge-heeled booties and patterned tights. The dress had suddenly become too-short and too-tight and she had curves that seemingly appeared overnight. She is definitely not the 8-pound butterball I fell in love with 14 years ago.
Sadly, she's learning that birthdays get less fun as you get older. She's got school tomorrow, followed by robotics club and then the parent open-house. She's pretty much spending13 hours at school tomorrow. We're hoping we can squeeze in a super-quick dinner, but it's going to be a crazy day.
So tonight she gets Cherry Crunch per her request. And I guess we'll let her open her presents. Unless I want to torture her a little longer with them.
9/16/12
Keep on Keepin' On
My mother has been sent back home, for which I am eternally grateful. I was not ready for the upheaval that we endured last fall and winter.
I've figured out what to do with my grandfather's estate, which is a whole lot of nothing. I'll notify the creditors that he's dead and if one of them wants to open probate they can have at it.
My brother continues to be a pain in the ass with his very messy divorce and the drama that comes with it, but at least that is the only family issue I am dealing with right now.
As for the kids, we have survived the first three weeks of school. It's been a transition for PS (and us), starting high school. Her classes are hard and her days are long. She doesn't have any of her old friends in any of her classes or her lunch period, but I think she is doing ok and starting to make new friends.
She tried out for the soccer team, but was cut. This was no surprise to her parents. She had deluded herself into believing that she would make the team no matter what. She never, ever practiced at home, and refused all of the soccer camps and clinics I offered to send her to. By the second day of practice, when she saw the skills of girls who have been playing competitively for years, she knew it wasn't going to happen. It was tough on her, but it was a life lesson that she needed to learn, and no amount of nagging from me was going to teach her what she learned from that experience: you have to work for the things that you want.
Anyway, she dropped soccer and picked up art--something that she does have a lot of talent for and spends hours a day "practicing." She also joined the robotics team. The team went to nationals last year, and we are all super-geekily excited about what they will do this year. The machines these kids build are simply phenomenal.
SS and TT are in their final year of elementary school. No big changes for them--except that they now change classes and they have two classes together. They have never had class together. I made the very conscious decision to separate them in pre-K (I would not have done it if I didn't think they were ready for it, and I would have fought to keep them together if I though it was necessary) and they have never been in the same class. Interestingly, they are not at all excited to have classes together now. Even though they always eat lunch together and have mostly the same friends.
So, we're off. I miss our relaxed summer evenings and the much lighter summer traffic. But at least the weather is cooler and we have Halloween and Thanksgiving to look forward to--which are, hands down, the best holidays.
I've figured out what to do with my grandfather's estate, which is a whole lot of nothing. I'll notify the creditors that he's dead and if one of them wants to open probate they can have at it.
My brother continues to be a pain in the ass with his very messy divorce and the drama that comes with it, but at least that is the only family issue I am dealing with right now.
As for the kids, we have survived the first three weeks of school. It's been a transition for PS (and us), starting high school. Her classes are hard and her days are long. She doesn't have any of her old friends in any of her classes or her lunch period, but I think she is doing ok and starting to make new friends.
She tried out for the soccer team, but was cut. This was no surprise to her parents. She had deluded herself into believing that she would make the team no matter what. She never, ever practiced at home, and refused all of the soccer camps and clinics I offered to send her to. By the second day of practice, when she saw the skills of girls who have been playing competitively for years, she knew it wasn't going to happen. It was tough on her, but it was a life lesson that she needed to learn, and no amount of nagging from me was going to teach her what she learned from that experience: you have to work for the things that you want.
Anyway, she dropped soccer and picked up art--something that she does have a lot of talent for and spends hours a day "practicing." She also joined the robotics team. The team went to nationals last year, and we are all super-geekily excited about what they will do this year. The machines these kids build are simply phenomenal.
SS and TT are in their final year of elementary school. No big changes for them--except that they now change classes and they have two classes together. They have never had class together. I made the very conscious decision to separate them in pre-K (I would not have done it if I didn't think they were ready for it, and I would have fought to keep them together if I though it was necessary) and they have never been in the same class. Interestingly, they are not at all excited to have classes together now. Even though they always eat lunch together and have mostly the same friends.
So, we're off. I miss our relaxed summer evenings and the much lighter summer traffic. But at least the weather is cooler and we have Halloween and Thanksgiving to look forward to--which are, hands down, the best holidays.
9/9/12
Family
On Wednesday evening I flew in for my maternal grandfather's funeral. My dad picked me up from the airport, and we had dinner with his parents. My grandmother promptly informed us that she had been to the doctor earlier that day and that he had given her a mew medication "for my brain." It is the Alzheimer's medication that my grandfather currently taking. It was clear that both of their conditions were worse than the last time a saw them, less than 6 months ago.
My paternal grandparents always refused to grow old gracefully, and I always believed that their active lifestyle kept them young. But they are becoming old and frail and forgetful. I told DH a few weeks ago that it felt like all of our grandparents were going to start to die soon. They are all in their 80's now--so it wasn't exactly a prophetic statement. But it's still not going to be easy.
I spent the later evening hours with aunts and cousins that I hadn't seen in a very long time. It's terrible that it's always death that brings us together, but I really enjoyed spending time with them. That is somewhat unusual. I never quite fit in with my mother's family. I am the oldest of my generation, with my male cousin and brother a couple of years behind me. Those two were inseparable, and I was the third wheel. My two female cousins are both more than 12 years younger than me. I babysat them. So for years, at every family gathering, I sat in the corner reading, with my boisterous family in the background. I was the quiet, smart one. I don't think anyone knew what to do with me. They are all loud and gossipy and in the middle of one another's business.
My mother traveled to my city on Wednesday, while I was headed to Hometown. Her insurance wouldn't pay for ambulance transport, and so she was discharged and her husband drove her. She could have left on Thursday afternoon instead of Wednesday afternoon so that she could attend her father's funeral, but she did not. Nor did she attend the visitation on Wednesday morning before she left. For the next two days, all of her siblings were asking if I had heard from her, because she wasn't taking anyone's phone calls.
The funeral was small and simple. Afterward we gathered again at my aunt's house. She gave me the photographs that had been taken from my grandparent's house that were earmarked for my mother. I don't have any of my childhood pictures, so I was happy to have them. My kids found them hilarious.
I also brought home a load of paperwork to sort out the "estate." There's not really an estate. There's a trailer with an overdue mortgage and two tax liens, and an empty lot that my grandfather conveyed to two different purchasers. I have no idea where to start with all of this. I do not practice probate law. The property just needs to be foreclosed on and the two purchasers are going to have to sort it out among themselves. I'm just not sure how his death affects this. We were trying to get it sorted out before he passed away. I guess I'll be doing some research this afternoon.
I flew home Thursday evening, and within 12 hours I was back at the airport for my flight out for a hearing on Friday. That went well, and I was back home again, and exhausted, by mid-afternoon. I stopped by to see my mother on the way home. It turns out that the docs here do not want to re-do the knee and want to ship her back home next week. This is good news for me, but I don't think this battle between doctors in two cities is in her best interest. I guess we'll see what happens next. I'm just hoping this week is better than last.
My paternal grandparents always refused to grow old gracefully, and I always believed that their active lifestyle kept them young. But they are becoming old and frail and forgetful. I told DH a few weeks ago that it felt like all of our grandparents were going to start to die soon. They are all in their 80's now--so it wasn't exactly a prophetic statement. But it's still not going to be easy.
I spent the later evening hours with aunts and cousins that I hadn't seen in a very long time. It's terrible that it's always death that brings us together, but I really enjoyed spending time with them. That is somewhat unusual. I never quite fit in with my mother's family. I am the oldest of my generation, with my male cousin and brother a couple of years behind me. Those two were inseparable, and I was the third wheel. My two female cousins are both more than 12 years younger than me. I babysat them. So for years, at every family gathering, I sat in the corner reading, with my boisterous family in the background. I was the quiet, smart one. I don't think anyone knew what to do with me. They are all loud and gossipy and in the middle of one another's business.
My mother traveled to my city on Wednesday, while I was headed to Hometown. Her insurance wouldn't pay for ambulance transport, and so she was discharged and her husband drove her. She could have left on Thursday afternoon instead of Wednesday afternoon so that she could attend her father's funeral, but she did not. Nor did she attend the visitation on Wednesday morning before she left. For the next two days, all of her siblings were asking if I had heard from her, because she wasn't taking anyone's phone calls.
The funeral was small and simple. Afterward we gathered again at my aunt's house. She gave me the photographs that had been taken from my grandparent's house that were earmarked for my mother. I don't have any of my childhood pictures, so I was happy to have them. My kids found them hilarious.
I also brought home a load of paperwork to sort out the "estate." There's not really an estate. There's a trailer with an overdue mortgage and two tax liens, and an empty lot that my grandfather conveyed to two different purchasers. I have no idea where to start with all of this. I do not practice probate law. The property just needs to be foreclosed on and the two purchasers are going to have to sort it out among themselves. I'm just not sure how his death affects this. We were trying to get it sorted out before he passed away. I guess I'll be doing some research this afternoon.
I flew home Thursday evening, and within 12 hours I was back at the airport for my flight out for a hearing on Friday. That went well, and I was back home again, and exhausted, by mid-afternoon. I stopped by to see my mother on the way home. It turns out that the docs here do not want to re-do the knee and want to ship her back home next week. This is good news for me, but I don't think this battle between doctors in two cities is in her best interest. I guess we'll see what happens next. I'm just hoping this week is better than last.
9/4/12
Not Enough Vodka
As I was rushing the kids out the door this morning, my brother called to inform me that my grandfather had just passed away. While his health had been declining somewhat rapidly, we still though there was some time left. A birthday party for him was in the works for the end of the month, and while we were expecting that it would likely be our last visit, we were comfortable that there was that much time left.
Minutes after learning about my grandfather, I spoke with my mother who informed me that they were intending to transfer her to a hospital here within the next day or two to remove and replace her knee. She is in a contamination ward at the hospital and will not be attending her father's funeral.
I was left trying to figure out whether to make travel arrangements to attend the funeral, or to stay here for my mother's surgery. And to complicate matters, I already had an out-of-town hearing scheduled for Friday.
The funeral is scheduled for Thursday, and I decided that it was unlikely my mother would be transported and her surgery scheduled before then, so I went ahead and booked the flight.
And now my 4-day workweek has been condensed into a day-and-a-half. I have a hard deadline on Friday for my pro bono case that left me sending an affidavit to my client this morning, begging her to get it notarized today, and then driving half-way across the world to retrieve it from her so that I can file it in the morning. This is a perfect example of why procrastination is bad!
I fly to Hometown late tomorrow afternoon and back out early Thursday evening. Then I have an early morning flight on Friday for my hearing, and will hopefully be home again by early evening.
Tonight I have to pack and finish up a couple of research projects to hand off to my bosses before I leave tomorrow. And the kids and I all have colds and feel crappy and cranky.
To top it all off, my brother just texted me and said that when he tried to visit my mother this evening her husband tried to start a physical fight in the hospital and in front of my nieces and had to be pulled off my brother and escorted out by a hospital aide! WTF?! And then my aunt told me it was the other way around.
If I wasn't convinced that my family was white trash before, this definitely seals the deal. Without question, the smartest thing I have ever done in my life was to get the hell out of Hometown.
Minutes after learning about my grandfather, I spoke with my mother who informed me that they were intending to transfer her to a hospital here within the next day or two to remove and replace her knee. She is in a contamination ward at the hospital and will not be attending her father's funeral.
I was left trying to figure out whether to make travel arrangements to attend the funeral, or to stay here for my mother's surgery. And to complicate matters, I already had an out-of-town hearing scheduled for Friday.
The funeral is scheduled for Thursday, and I decided that it was unlikely my mother would be transported and her surgery scheduled before then, so I went ahead and booked the flight.
And now my 4-day workweek has been condensed into a day-and-a-half. I have a hard deadline on Friday for my pro bono case that left me sending an affidavit to my client this morning, begging her to get it notarized today, and then driving half-way across the world to retrieve it from her so that I can file it in the morning. This is a perfect example of why procrastination is bad!
I fly to Hometown late tomorrow afternoon and back out early Thursday evening. Then I have an early morning flight on Friday for my hearing, and will hopefully be home again by early evening.
Tonight I have to pack and finish up a couple of research projects to hand off to my bosses before I leave tomorrow. And the kids and I all have colds and feel crappy and cranky.
To top it all off, my brother just texted me and said that when he tried to visit my mother this evening her husband tried to start a physical fight in the hospital and in front of my nieces and had to be pulled off my brother and escorted out by a hospital aide! WTF?! And then my aunt told me it was the other way around.
If I wasn't convinced that my family was white trash before, this definitely seals the deal. Without question, the smartest thing I have ever done in my life was to get the hell out of Hometown.
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