If you like PostSecret and lolcats...

...then you'll love lolsecretz.

Yes, I am obsessed w/ lolcats.

I Survived

And there was virtually no drama. I kept the girls busy with activities so that they wouldn't have too much time to fight. Even the dueling BFF's seemed to get along well, and both were the last to leave--by a lot. (When the invitation says til 10:00 am I do not want your kids still here at 11:00 am.)

I think the BFF mom who called sort of fosters the drama. I would love to make friends with my kids' friends' moms, but I swear, they are all freakin' nuts. First there was PsychoMom , then another friend's mom who always seems half asleep. Her kid will call and invite herself over and then stay for hours and hours before her mom calls her home. I think the mom is possibly suffering from depression--or some kind of soccer-mom drug addiction. When she's awake and coherent, she's very nice.

And now the new BFF's mom (the one who started the drama yesterday) who is pushing very hard for our daughters to be BFFs and calls me almost every single day. She is very pushy and I find myself constantly having to draw lines--like when she heard I was planning PSs party, it was, "Oh, you must go here and buy this, and I have this you can use, and you have to do this, and what is your theme?" WTF? I don't have a theme--I thought that was a little kid thing. And the first time she was over to drop of her daughter she gave herself a tour of our home, giving me decorating advice all along the way. She is nice enough, besides the pushy thing (and the drama thing, and the her kids are very spoiled and seem to never hear the "no" word thing.)-it is just tiring having a conversation because I am forever having to sidestep all of her suggestions.

And so it begins...

The drama that I was hoping to avoid at PS's b-day party tonight, I mean. And the party doesn't even start for another 45 minutes. BFF #1's mom called this morning to inform me that BFF told her that BFF #2 liked to flash kids on the playground by pulling up her shirt. I calmly responded that I knew BFF #2 very well because she lives 2 houses down and she is at my house almost as much as she is at her own, and this did not sound like BFF #2 type behavior at all. I told BFF #1 mom that I would talk to PS about it and get back to her.

PS informed me that she had never, ever seen anything like that from anybody at school and that BFF #1 does not like BFF #2 at all. Great. So I called BFF #1's mom back and told her that PS had not seen that type of behaviour, I did not really think that sounded right, and there were apparently issues between BFF #1 and BFF #2. BFF's mom finally backed down--she was sort of insinuating that I shouldn't have BFF #2 at the party--there was no way that was gonna happen.

We determined that it must be a jealousy thing. At this age a girl wants her BFF all to herself, and there are two girls claiming BFF rights to PS. I know that PS had an issue w/ BFF #1 last year when PS befriended a new girl, and BFF #1 quit playing with her and told her they couldn't be friends anymore unless PS dumped New Girl. New Girl will also be at tonight's party.

Wish me luck, my hair may be completely gray before the night is over.

P.S. DH passed his kidney stone, finally. It was ginormous. (Well, not as ginormous as a baby's head, but he gets really PO'd when I point that out.) Seriously, it was an huge and jaggedy and I can see why it was causing so much pain.

Because life was already going so well

DH has been home most of this week trying to pass a kidney stone. He has had a few in the past which cause lots of pain for a few hours and then the pain subsides and the stone passes within a day or two. This one has been causing lots of pain since Tuesday and isn't in any hurry. DH finally went to the doc, who ordered a CT scan. The scan found the stone and also an enlarged prostate. We don't know what the deal is with his prostate being enlarged, and the doc wouldn't elaborate. I always though prostate problems were kind of an old guy thing. DH is 32. The doc did get him in with his urologist on Monday. But that has me a little worried because it usually takes a couple of weeks to get in with a specialist. Doc also said that if DH doesn't pass this stone soon he may have to be admitted at the hospital. He has started running a fever, which is not a good thing. Really, if DH just had to mess up a part of his body, I would prefer that it not be so closely associated with his fun parts.

My daughter is a klepto

In preparation for PS's slumber party this weekend, DH and I decided to go in and help her really clean her room. PS is a packrat, so we have to do this a couple of times a year. (The last housekeeper we had decided on her own to clean under PS's bed and came out crying--seriously!) She saves every scrap of paper or wrapper saying, "I can use it for a craft or a science experiment!" My grandmother apparently fosters this behavior, because PS had all kinds of weird stuff that appeared after spending the summer with my grandparents. PS has paper and junk stuffed everywhere possible--in her bins and baskets, drawers, dresser, nightstand, and of course, under her bed. It isn't gross stuff--she isn't allowed to have food in her room--it's mostly just paper. But we filled four big trash sacks with stuff from her room.

Apparently her packrat tendencies have led her to filch stuff from the rest of the house and bury it in her room. I found three half-boxes of Kleenex, a Ziploc full of placticware, a bunch of cellophane treat bags leftover from a party, leftover valentine treat bags, two rolls of scotch tape, a roll of packing tape, the dog's nail clippers, a wreath hanger, about a million q-tips, and the hole punch that I really needed for her birthday party invitations last weekend.

WTH? Why on earth does a kid need all this stuff. And while they are minor things, it is really irritating to know that you just bought Kleenex or tape and then not be able to find it. I guess I now know where to look.

DH thinks she has a sickness and is going to end up like those crazy people on tv that fill their houses full of crap and just keep bringing in more. I honestly don't know where she gets this compulsion (yes I do, it's from my grandparents who have never thrown out anything, ever), but it's not from me. When I no longer need something, I donate it or trash it. I don't like clutter and do not have a house full of junk or nick-knacks (how the hell do you spell that?) So why is my daughter becoming crazy klepto packrat girl?

Validation

This is exactly what I have been bitching about for the last few months.* It's like I have been validated. I'm not just a big whiner--there really is something going on. This article could have been about my school. A T1 school, which claims an average starting salary at something like $98K, and swears 98% of its graduates are employed 6 months after the bar. I already knew the employment numbers were skewed because if you don't have a job, the school will create one for you. There are law graduates essentially working a secretaries to different departments within the school. Wonder if they are reporting what they are getting paid--cause it sure ain't anywhere near $98K.

I have tried to be brutally honest about my plight (which is why I sound so whiny so much) to try to counteract the too-sunny pictures painted by the law schools. I graduated with honors from a T1 school and do not have a job--and I know of many in the same boat. I did externships, clinics, mock trial and worked for less than what I pay my nanny all to gain practical experience and make myself more marketable. The jobs aren't there and the law schools are being deceptive by implying that there are plenty of jobs and they pay big bucks.

* Thanks to PT-lawmom for the link.

Cafeteria Nazi

I went to have lunch with PS today, since it is her birthday and I was conveniently not working. The way they run the cafeteria drives me batty. Actually their disciplinary procedures do in general. At least three times while I was there the cafeteria nazi turned off the lights--meaning the kids can't talk. It's their friggin' lunch (half) hour. They are supposed to talk about all the things they aren't supposed to be chatting about while in class. These kids are in school 7 hours a day. They get lunch plus one 15 minute recess. It is absolutely ridiculous not to let them talk at lunch time.

Oh, and if they get in trouble at school, they lose their recess. Even my first graders--and the same last year when they were in full-day kindergarten. If they don't complete their work or have any disciplinary issues they lose recess. Did any of the geniuses who came up with this plan ever consider that perhaps if the kids had a chance to break for a little while they might be able to focus better--eliminating both the slow-work and the disciplinary problems? I am an adult, but I have to stop and regroup (like just getting up from my desk to go to the bathroom or to get a coke) after I have worked for a couple hours. When I come back I am always better focused. And yet we are expecting 6 year old kids to work for 3 hours and lose their only break if they start to get rowdy or work too slowly.

Can they not come up with a more creative punishment than taking away free time. I don't think recess is a reward--I think it is a necessity. And kids have to be able to chat during lunch if you don't want them chatting in class.

Speaking of...over lunch PS informed me that she had to write her name on the board for talking this morning. Honestly, I could not give a flying flip--she never, ever gets in trouble. It kind of makes me happy that she was misbehaving a little bit and not being miss goody-goody. (I know that sounds weird, but PS is very into following the rules, so much so that it almost makes her sort-of socially awkward.) I was also pleased that she felt ok telling me this--and not freaked out that she was going to be in trouble. I just told her to stay out of trouble for the rest of the day so she didn't lose any recess time. (I mean, I can't tell her that I didn't care that she got in trouble at school--I had to maintain my mom face, but I didn't make a big deal out of it.)

Nine

Today PS turns nine. It's hard to believe it has been that long since I first saw my fat happy baby. It was right about this time of the morning when my water burst all over the doctor's office--which DH still rates the #1 funniest thing he has ever seen in his life. Still didn't put PS in any big hurry to make her arrival, though. I had 8 hours on a pit drip and two and half hours of pushing before the doc finally had to vacuum her out. (I still have no hips at all, and she was an 8 lb. baby.)

So now she is nine and already acting like a moody, sulky pre-teen (shouldn't I have at least a couple more years?) I almost cut her party completely because of her bad attitude, but DH thought that was too harsh. So yesterday we went out to pick up supplies for her party this weekend. We had to stop by Petsmart for guinea pig bedding, and I made the mistake of letting her look at the kitties up for adoption. They had a litter of adorable, playful 7 week old kittens, and PS got to hold one of them.

PS has been asking for a cat for several weeks now and we have been resisting. Mainly because SS has asthma and both twins have allergies and we don't want to commit to an animal without knowing how they will react. They haven't really been around cats, so I don't know how they affect their allergies. Also, I am not thrilled with the idea of a litterbox in the house. It just seems like there's not a good place to put one.

So anyway, in a moment of weakness, seeing her with the sweet little kitten, I told PS that if she were willing to spend her birthday money on it, maybe her dad would reconsider letting her have a cat. Yeah, I know, nice of me to make him the heavy--and of course it still doesn't solve the potential allergy problem. (Although the lady in the adoption center said if you get a kitten and start giving them baths when they are little it will cut down on allergens. Makes sense--anyone know if it's true?) DH said no, and PS spent the rest of the day pouting and sulking. Which royally pissed me off, since I spent all day working on stuff for her party.

By the end of the day her attitude had improved, but this morning she was asking about getting a cat again--arrrggghhh.

So Happy It's the Weekend

I finally finished my project--yea! I am so glad to be done. I haven't heard yet if they have another project for me. The partner I am working with was out most of the week and said she would look over my stuff this week and get back to me by Monday. I hate not knowing what I will be doing next week.

Meanwhile, I had an interview yesterday morning with a DA's office in a mid-size suburb. I think the interview went well, but who knows. My mom status came out when the interviewer asked if I went straight from college to law school. But she has three kids, too, and we agreed that it probably worked out best to have kids before going to law school. And obviously she knows that you actually can be a good lawyer and have kids. Overall, I think we had a good rapport, but she said that she had 20 interviews for 2 positions, and many were my classmates. The bad news is that that suburb is far north, and my suburb is far east, and it took me an hour and a half to get there in morning traffic with no major snafu's. We would definitely have to move if that worked out--and selling our house in this market is not appealing.

Also yesterday I got a call for another interview. It is for a staff att'y position in the criminal courts in Big City. I think it would be great experience and probably a good jumping point to go to the DA's office or private practice.

Of course both of the above positions would be at least a 30% pay cut from what I am making right now as a temp. But I think that I would like what I was doing a lot more and have cushier hours. Besides, I still don't know exactly where this temp position is headed. At least some more doors are finally opening.

A Little Funny

The Dilbert Blog: Suing God

Mortification

Tonight PS brought home her writing notebook to finish a story that she had started. She also shared with us some of her other writing exercises, one was on her favorite memory.

"On my dad's birthday a lady dressed like a bunny came to our house and sang a song."

OMG--I nearly died. What must her teacher think?

Yes, it's true, for DH's 30th birthday I hired a singing telegram dressed like a playboy bunny. I very tame, non-risque bunny. The company I hired normally didn't even do that sort of thing, but when I explained what I wanted and that there would be children and grandparents present, they agreed. I did it because DH's mom did it for his dad for his 30th birthday (which is especially hilarious because DH's parents are veeerrrryyyy conservative). DH remembered his dad's bunny, and I thought it would be a fun tradition to carry on.

The look on DH's face when he opened the door to the bunny was priceless. We had already managed the huge surprise of a party--his family lives 300 miles away, so smuggling them all into town and getting him out of the house was tricky--and it was the icing on the cake.

On a sadder note, today is my baby brother's 30th. He still hasn't spoken to me since the Spring Break fiasco. I'm pretty pissed at him for not giving me so much as a phone call to congratulate me for, ya know, the whole law school thing. But maybe I'll try to be the bigger person and give him a call.

Today was a good day

I got moved into the office today. I was anticipating a cubicle buried deep in the bowels of the firm reminiscent of my last job.

Oh no, I got a real office. With a view!!! I can see rooftop swimming pools from my office. And the cars below look like ants. And it was stocked with every color and size of post-its and binder clips and every other office supply I could ever imagine..

And they had a computer all set up for me. They had already set up an email account and put in a firm signature that designated me as "Attorney". (Ummm, can they do that? I'm pretty sure I can't call myself an attorney until I get my license. Might need to look into that.) And they sent in a trainer to teach me how to use their file management software and how to log into the servers from home. And I had to set up voicemail. I was so not expecting firm email and voicemail.

Oh and to top it off I got paid-woohoo! It is the biggest paycheck I have ever received in my entire life. It's nice to be a contributing member of society and to be getting paid to do it. But I am gonna be so brokenhearted if (look at me being optimistic!) they decide they don't need me anymore.

Heart Palpitations

I went to get the mail today and immediately noticed the return address for the Board of Law Examiners. Oh Crap! What did I do? Bar results aren't due for another 6 weeks. Maybe they let you know (really) early if you fail.

Whew! They were just making sure they had my name right for my law license. How nice of them to assume I was going to pass. Well, except for the little footnote at the bottom informing that if I did not pass, I would only have 3 weeks to register for the Feb. bar.

Movin' on up

When I picked up my assignment yesterday, pseudo-employer offered to set me up with a work space if I preferred to work in the office instead of at home. I told them I would consider it and get back to them. There were a lot of factors to consider and I wanted to discuss with DH.

Working downtown would mean the expense of childcare, the expense and hassle of commuting, paying for parking, planning for lunch, getting dressed in a suit which = dry cleaning expenses.

On the other hand, if I am in the office I am visible. They get to know me. I am more likely to get continuous assignments--and more importantly the potential for full-time employment. And they have hinted that this could be a possibility. The fact that they are willing to go to the trouble of setting me up with a work space seems to confirm this. Why would they bother for a 50 hour project?

I really think I would be an idiot not to work in the office just for the visibility aspect. And they pay me enough for one hour to cover my nanny for the day (since it's just after school care). Besides the added bonus of re-employing the nanny before she finds another position. Oh yeah--and I always wanted to work in a big, shiny building downtown.

So I told them that I wanted to accept their offer to start working in the office. They will let me know when my space is set up.

P.S. They were not concerned AT ALL with the number of hours I billed on the first part of the project. I was all worked up for nothing.

P.P.S. Yes, I know my colors still look like a psychedelic cat barfed on the screen. I'll try to deal with it this weekend. And, PT LawMom if you see this, please read my comment to your comment in the previous post.

Ummm, yeah...it's a work in progress.

But I don't have any more time to fiddle with it right now. And I haven't figured out how to do edits in blogger w/o making them live.

Tip o' the Day

Don't use the "next blog" feature in the Blogger header. I was thinking that my blog needed an updated look, so I wanted to browse a few blogs to look at their headers. Using the link above is a bad idea. On the third blog I browsed, VirusScan caught three viruses. Hope there weren't more that didn't get caught.

Well, I haven't been fired yet

Finally got a call late today. They need a few things clarified, but didn't say anything about how long I took. I will probably need to pick up additional documents tomorrow and then I can set to work on the rest of the task.

So this is good. I am back to having work to do--and making money isn't a bad bonus. Actually it's a really good bonus. PS is begging for a robot for her birthday later this month. I really, really want to get her the Lego Mindstorms set, but it is $250--much more than I was planning to spend. But it is educational and I know she would love it, and so I think I might be able to splurge with the extra income from this project.

Why I have a dead guinea pig in my freezer.

Last week PS's BFF and her little sister (same age as the twins) spent the night. They liked our guinea pig so much that they went out and bought out that very day (because apparently these parents are the type to buy animals on their children's whims). So BFF's mom called and asked me for tips on the newly acquired piggie. During the conversation I mentioned that we had another guinea pig that had gotten sick and died even after a trip to the vet and my diligent efforts to nurse it back to health.

So fastforward to this Saturday. DD goes to BFF's house for her birthday party. During the party DD calls and says, "Mom, BFF's guinea pig is sick, what do we do?" Yeah, because I am totally qualified to diagnose sick guinea pigs. I said, "Well, when yours was sick I held her to keep her warm and and fed her with a syringe." So BFF's mom gets on the phone and says, "What do I do, here eyes are closing...oh no, I think she's gone. Yeah, she's getting stiff now."

Yes, the guinea pig died in the middle of the little girl's birthday party, in front of a whole room full of little girls. Kinda put a damper on the whole party.

So, since the guinea pig was purchased last week, BFF's mom can return her to get a refund or replacement. But she needs to be frozen in the meantime. BFF's mom has only the freezer attached to the fridge. It's full and she doesn't want her girls finding it. So it's in my chest freezer, resting peacefully in a Hello Kitty shoe box.

Well, I sort of have a job

I had my interview for the contract position today. It was with a mid-size firm in a big shiny building with a fantastic view of downtown.

They started out saying, "If we decide to offer you the position," and ended by telling me to come back tomorrow at noon to sign an engagement and confidentiality agreement. But they only want me to do the first step of the project so that they can judge the quality of my work before going further. Can't blame them for that. I just hope I'm up to par--I've always been a little insecure about my writing (law school will do that to you) and they wanted someone with law review experience--not me.

The good news--it pays well. It gives me something to do. They might have more projects for me after this one. This could open other doors. And I can work from home in my jammies.

The bad news--I might screw this up. It's only temporary. It is going to be really boring. Because I am working from home, I don't need my nanny, and I am really worried that I am going to lose the nanny.

Because, you just can't sleep with a lizard.

That was my response to, "Why can't I sleep with Sticky?" Sticky is the tiny little Gecko that a friend brought over and the girls begged to keep. I found a Ball canning jar and poked holes in the top to make Sticky a temporary habitat. The girlies the took her (him? PS asked me to google gender identification in lizards, but I never got around to it) outside and caught three grasshoppers half the size of Sticky and added some woodchips (to climb on!) and grass.

When I went to tuck in TT, there was Sticky (and grasshoppers) sitting in the bed. I'm pretty open to critters in the house, but I draw the line at lizards in bed.

Oh, and the twins are asking to have their ears pierced. (There will be no pigeon-holing them as girlie-girls or tomboys. They are an awesome mix of both.) I'm not sure how I feel about this. I am very much against piercing babies. But they aren't babies anymore. I had mine pierced when I was just a little older than they are now, and it worked out ok. But I rarely ever wear earrings now--or any other jewelery for that matter, drives DH crazy that I don't wear my wedding ring. Still, it seems like such a big girl thing. And it is poking holes in their bodies--permanently!

PS meanwhile has absolutely no interest in piercing anything. She doesn't want to have anything to do with anything that causes pain. Smart girl.