Little Brothers are Buttheads (even when they are grown)

Apparently my brother is now screening my calls. We had a little tiff about a month ago, but I really thought he would be over it by now. Apparently not.

I had off-handedly mentioned that we were considering taking the kids to Disney for spring break if we could manage the finances. BB (Brother Butthead) said that he really wanted to take his kids too since they should be getting a good tax refund this year, and hey, wouldn't it be great if we could go together. I said, sure that might be fun, we'll talk more later.

The next day he sends DH this long detailed email about how we will rent a 12 passenger van, and take turns driving so we can make it in one day, and oh yeah, we can also make a stop along the way to visit his wife's family.

That is when I knew that this wasn't gonna work. The idea of 14 hours in a van with 7 kids screams anything but vacation. (Can you imagine how many potty stops that would be?) I didn't want a van, I wanted my big comfy computer-climate controlled, HD-stereo having behemoth Suburban to drive. I did not want to do 14 hours in a stretch, I wanted to split it over 2 days and take the time to enjoy the little stops along the way. And I sure as hell didn't want to waste one day of my vacation visiting my brother's in-laws.

So I told him, as gently as possible, that his vision of a vacation did not mesh with our vision of a vacation. And he blew up. He said it was because we though they weren't good enough for us and we just didn't want to spend time with them. Eventually it came out that their own vehicle wasn't reliable enough to make the trip and they couldn't go without us to split the cost of the van and presumably a hotel room (did I forget the part about fudging occupancy numbers and bringing sleeping bags?). Seriously, could we get any more Griswold. We just need to tie my dead grandma to the roof of that van.

The real problem is that while my brother and I stem from the same white trash roots, I have managed to pull myself out and he never has. They never seem to be able to make ends meet--never find a way to get out of the crappy house in the bad part of town or keep their phone hooked up and their vehicles running. And it's their own fault. My brother put himself through school and got a teaching degree. He is half way through a master's, but has changed his degree plan three times. He should be able to live a better life than he does.

It's to the point that I don't want to share anything with him. My going to law school, or buying a house, or a new care are all insults to him. They are the things I have accomplished that he has not. And apparently my mention of Disney was salt in the wounds--and if I didn't want to go with him, it was because I was better than him. I guess he didn't consider that I would be spending my money and my precious time and should have some input into my vacation (not to mention DH, who immediately nixed this plan.)

Oh, and the real irony... we aren't going to Disney, either. We decided it was just to expensive, with all of my bar expenses coming up (mostly paying for full-time childcare when I'm not working). But of course I can't tell BB that, because he won't take my damn calls.