We've never taken the kids on a big vacation, for several reasons, I guess. For one, the cost for 5 people to travel anywhere becomes astronomical very quickly. When we were living on a single income, most trips were simply out of our budget, so we tended to stick close to home. We've visited all the major cities in out state, but now it kind of feels "been there, done that." We've wandered out of state on a couple of occasions, renting a beach house for a week over spring break, and a cabin in the mountains last summer with all of DH's family. But we've never done a big, grand vacation with the kids. Number 1 on our list is Disney. I've been promising the kids for the last two years that we would someday go to Disney World.
Last fall Disney was running a great special that made a vacation very affordable, so I booked us for June. Unfortunately, due to a number of reasons (humongous tax bill, quitting my job, MIL receiving cancer treatments and not wanting to leave the state) we had to reschedule. I went ahead and rebooked for December because I figured it would be the easiest time to get away no matter where I was working. But the cost went up about $2k.
Given the number of financial hits we have taken lately, I really did not want to spend nearly $5k on this trip. But I poked around in the online trip planner and found that we could get back down to our original cost by changing our resort. Yea! It looked like our trip could still happen.
Then, last night, I was reading the Disney boards (yes, I'm that girl) and saw a banner ad to save 30% off room reservations. I followed the link, booked our exact trip and found I could save over $400. A quick call to reservations this morning, and the discount was applied to my existing reservation. That will cover our gas. (There is no way I can afford to fly all 5 of us out there, unless rates REALLY drop--unlikely over the holidays.)
So we're set and I am slowly chiseling away the cost of our trip. Hopefully, this will be the first of many big family vacations. One of my favorite pastimes is planning vacations--it would be great if we could actually start taking them.
In an ideal world, I would like to take a big trip every two years, with a smaller trip in between. Of course the problem with being a lawyer is that you finally have the money to travel, but finding the time is a whole new issue. Fortunately, I have noticed at my new firm that several people are taking long (2-3 week) vacations this summer.
8/9/09
8/6/09
Enjoy the silence
So I guess my posting has slowed now that I have rejoined the ranks of the employed.
My week started off slowly, with a little bit of thumb-twiddling. Now my desk is covered with projects and I already feel like I'm behind. I have worked later than I would prefer nearly every night this week. It seems that the lawyers there come in fairly late and stay really late. I don't want to look like a slacker my first week in by leaving when the clock strikes 6, but at the same time I'm not sure how this comports with their assurances that I would not be putting in nearly the hours that I was at old firm. But I am in earlier than everybody else, so hopefully I can maintain a more regular schedule once I've settled in a bit more.
I've already been given a case to call my own, and I'm being added as a second chair on a couple of others. I'm being sent to a conference in November. (I have my choice of attending it in Boston, San Diego, Fort Lauderdale, Denver or Nashville--suggestions??) And next month they're sending me to a luncheon for women in my new industry (which is really not a female-oriented industry).
It is very, very different from old firm--which is definitely not a bad thing, but there are some adjustments to be made.
Overall, I think it is going well. I am happy to be working again, and I think I am doing ok with learning my new practice area. I know enough about the basics that I can concentrate on the details. But boy am I tired.
My week started off slowly, with a little bit of thumb-twiddling. Now my desk is covered with projects and I already feel like I'm behind. I have worked later than I would prefer nearly every night this week. It seems that the lawyers there come in fairly late and stay really late. I don't want to look like a slacker my first week in by leaving when the clock strikes 6, but at the same time I'm not sure how this comports with their assurances that I would not be putting in nearly the hours that I was at old firm. But I am in earlier than everybody else, so hopefully I can maintain a more regular schedule once I've settled in a bit more.
I've already been given a case to call my own, and I'm being added as a second chair on a couple of others. I'm being sent to a conference in November. (I have my choice of attending it in Boston, San Diego, Fort Lauderdale, Denver or Nashville--suggestions??) And next month they're sending me to a luncheon for women in my new industry (which is really not a female-oriented industry).
It is very, very different from old firm--which is definitely not a bad thing, but there are some adjustments to be made.
Overall, I think it is going well. I am happy to be working again, and I think I am doing ok with learning my new practice area. I know enough about the basics that I can concentrate on the details. But boy am I tired.
8/2/09
First Day in the Office
I have moved from a mid-sized firm in a big shiny building downtown, to a smallish firm in a smaller shiny building not downtown. In one of my interviews with another firm, someone asked me how important it was for me to remain downtown. I responded that it was not at the top of my priority list--which is true, I could not care less about the "prestige" of working downtown.
When I walked in on Friday, I was given the tour and shown to my office. They told me that my computer was all set up and that I could start figuring it all out. I looked around, saw a monitor and a little box that looked like an external hard-drive, but no computer. Hmmm, that's odd. But I hit the keyboard, and indeed, my computer was functional. Turns out that little 8" x 8" x 3" box was the computer. The mac is very intuitive, and I think I'll adapt quickly.
Later Big Boss and two of the junior partners took me to a nice Italian place for lunch. I may have had the best manicotti in the world. The lunch was very relaxed and comfortable--which surprised me, because I am generally tense at business lunches--especially at places with excessive numbers of forks.
Throughout the day, everyone in the office came by and introduced themselves--I was at my old firm for 2 years, and there were still people I had never spoken with.
But how is this for bizarre? I was fiddling around with the screensaver and wallpaper, when I clicked on the "photos" folder--and found my facebook profile pic. How the heck did that get there? I certainly wasn't facebooking on my first day on the job. DH says he has a program that hooks into his outlook and searches the net for photos of his contacts--so I guess that is a possibility. But my work computer doesn't use outlook, and I didn't see anything like that in my email program (not that I was looking).
I also wouldn't be surprised at all if they googled me and found my facebook profile (it's locked, but you may be able to see the picture). But why would they do this on my computer, and why would they save the profile pic? Very strange--I will definitely ask IT guy about this next week.
When I walked in on Friday, I was given the tour and shown to my office. They told me that my computer was all set up and that I could start figuring it all out. I looked around, saw a monitor and a little box that looked like an external hard-drive, but no computer. Hmmm, that's odd. But I hit the keyboard, and indeed, my computer was functional. Turns out that little 8" x 8" x 3" box was the computer. The mac is very intuitive, and I think I'll adapt quickly.
Later Big Boss and two of the junior partners took me to a nice Italian place for lunch. I may have had the best manicotti in the world. The lunch was very relaxed and comfortable--which surprised me, because I am generally tense at business lunches--especially at places with excessive numbers of forks.
Throughout the day, everyone in the office came by and introduced themselves--I was at my old firm for 2 years, and there were still people I had never spoken with.
But how is this for bizarre? I was fiddling around with the screensaver and wallpaper, when I clicked on the "photos" folder--and found my facebook profile pic. How the heck did that get there? I certainly wasn't facebooking on my first day on the job. DH says he has a program that hooks into his outlook and searches the net for photos of his contacts--so I guess that is a possibility. But my work computer doesn't use outlook, and I didn't see anything like that in my email program (not that I was looking).
I also wouldn't be surprised at all if they googled me and found my facebook profile (it's locked, but you may be able to see the picture). But why would they do this on my computer, and why would they save the profile pic? Very strange--I will definitely ask IT guy about this next week.
7/30/09
Day 1
Well, I survived Day 1 of the new job. Thanks to all of you who wished me luck!
I wasn't in the office--instead they sent me to a seminar being presented by the female attorney who initially interviewed me. I am sure that the reason I got the job began with her. She told me in that first interview that she was not a partner because she had chosen not to accept partnership. She wanted to have a family, and once her children were born she began working part-time.
So in that first interview, when she asked what I did besides working, I had choice whether to reveal that I, too, have children. I learned as a law student that I was better off not advertising my age and the fact that I had children. Of course, I never lied, but I never volunteered this information, either. In my old firm Big Boss had absolutely no clue that I was a 30-something mother of three when he hired me, and there is no way he would have hired me if he had known as much (others in the office have confirmed this).
But I felt that I clicked with this female attorney who was successfully balancing career and family, and I decided to break my self-imposed rule and tell her that my spare time generally revolved around my children. She was immediately impressed, and suddenly I stood out from the crowd.
What's more, even the male partners I later met appreciated the dedication required to make it through law school with children. They did not view my family as a hindrance that would prevent me from billing enough hours, but rather as evidence of my work ethic and organizational skills.
And I think that I why I was so drawn to this firm. I didn't have to hide who I am--and they actually valued me more because of it.
I wasn't in the office--instead they sent me to a seminar being presented by the female attorney who initially interviewed me. I am sure that the reason I got the job began with her. She told me in that first interview that she was not a partner because she had chosen not to accept partnership. She wanted to have a family, and once her children were born she began working part-time.
So in that first interview, when she asked what I did besides working, I had choice whether to reveal that I, too, have children. I learned as a law student that I was better off not advertising my age and the fact that I had children. Of course, I never lied, but I never volunteered this information, either. In my old firm Big Boss had absolutely no clue that I was a 30-something mother of three when he hired me, and there is no way he would have hired me if he had known as much (others in the office have confirmed this).
But I felt that I clicked with this female attorney who was successfully balancing career and family, and I decided to break my self-imposed rule and tell her that my spare time generally revolved around my children. She was immediately impressed, and suddenly I stood out from the crowd.
What's more, even the male partners I later met appreciated the dedication required to make it through law school with children. They did not view my family as a hindrance that would prevent me from billing enough hours, but rather as evidence of my work ethic and organizational skills.
And I think that I why I was so drawn to this firm. I didn't have to hide who I am--and they actually valued me more because of it.
7/28/09
A hypothetical
Attorney obtains discovery from opposing party.
Attorney tells Client that Client can review and flag relevant documents, rather than paying attorney to review discovery. Client has no legal training.
What do you think of Attorney's actions?
Attorney tells Client that Client can review and flag relevant documents, rather than paying attorney to review discovery. Client has no legal training.
What do you think of Attorney's actions?
Karma and the Pessimist
I'll admit that I am a little stunned at the way things worked out. I ended up with a much better job that the one that I would have taken had previous Big Boss not acted like a manipulative asshole.
I am finally out of the insurance defense mill. This is a good thing. Fewer billables are required, and quality is emphasized over quantity.
I will be a true second chair on my cases. I will get to argue some of my own motions. I will get to go to trial. I will be a point of contact with my clients. This was not the case in old firm. Most of the time, I did not meet with clients and my name wasn't on anything (I did have a few cases where this was not true). I very rarely got to argue the motions that I drafted. It might have been years before I got to go to trial (because they wanted to bill partner rates for trial, and they certainly wouldn't allow me to do anything they couldn't bill for, just because I might learn something.)
New firm seems very interested in mentoring. They know that I am being to thrown into a new field in which I have no experience. But they are prepared to help me learn what I need to know. They have also emphasized that client development is very important--and they are very supportive in mentoring young associates to build their own client base.
New firm is a true "boutique" firm that specializes in a very specific area of law. It is an area that I would never have predicted that I would go into. But I think it is an area that will remain strong and not suddenly disappear (a la med mal). And it is far more appealing than family law--as I would have had to practice as a solo. One of the partners also does legislative drafting pertinent to this field--and I would love to gain experience there.
I just feel so fortunate to have found this position. I have been gearing up for such doom and gloom--either barely getting by while building my solo practice, or having to do practice in an area that I would not be happy in--that I am still in a state of shock.
I will be starting on Thursday, but it will not be a real work day because they are sending me to a seminar. I'll be in the office on Friday, although I have been warned that my office will not be ready--they are painting it over the weekend and they are ordering a new computer. But at least I can start reading up on my new practice area.
I am finally out of the insurance defense mill. This is a good thing. Fewer billables are required, and quality is emphasized over quantity.
I will be a true second chair on my cases. I will get to argue some of my own motions. I will get to go to trial. I will be a point of contact with my clients. This was not the case in old firm. Most of the time, I did not meet with clients and my name wasn't on anything (I did have a few cases where this was not true). I very rarely got to argue the motions that I drafted. It might have been years before I got to go to trial (because they wanted to bill partner rates for trial, and they certainly wouldn't allow me to do anything they couldn't bill for, just because I might learn something.)
New firm seems very interested in mentoring. They know that I am being to thrown into a new field in which I have no experience. But they are prepared to help me learn what I need to know. They have also emphasized that client development is very important--and they are very supportive in mentoring young associates to build their own client base.
New firm is a true "boutique" firm that specializes in a very specific area of law. It is an area that I would never have predicted that I would go into. But I think it is an area that will remain strong and not suddenly disappear (a la med mal). And it is far more appealing than family law--as I would have had to practice as a solo. One of the partners also does legislative drafting pertinent to this field--and I would love to gain experience there.
I just feel so fortunate to have found this position. I have been gearing up for such doom and gloom--either barely getting by while building my solo practice, or having to do practice in an area that I would not be happy in--that I am still in a state of shock.
I will be starting on Thursday, but it will not be a real work day because they are sending me to a seminar. I'll be in the office on Friday, although I have been warned that my office will not be ready--they are painting it over the weekend and they are ordering a new computer. But at least I can start reading up on my new practice area.
7/27/09
I got the job!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With Conservative Firm. And it comes with a nice salary bump, and a substantially lower billable requirement.
They want me to start ASAP--as early as this Thursday!
I must now go do the happy dance!
They want me to start ASAP--as early as this Thursday!
I must now go do the happy dance!
Still no offer
Had my third interview at Conservative Firm today. I met with two junior partners, and both of those seemed to go fine. Then I met for the second time with the two named partners for whom I would be working.
They still seem a little hung up on my grades, but the repeated how impressed they were with me personally. And they stated that I would not be back if they weren't seriously considering me.
I think they know I have the drive, but they are concerned about the brains.
I really hope they make up their minds soon.
They still seem a little hung up on my grades, but the repeated how impressed they were with me personally. And they stated that I would not be back if they weren't seriously considering me.
I think they know I have the drive, but they are concerned about the brains.
I really hope they make up their minds soon.
7/26/09
Good weekend
Friday we had Birthdaypalooza for the twins. First we headed out to the waterpark, where we spent a good part of the day. The kids had a great time and TT was finally brave enough to try the BIG water slides.
We headed home, showered, and let the birthday girls choose where to go for dinner. Their choice: CiCi's Pizza--a place I try to avoid at all cost. But something about all-you-can-eat pizza followed by all-you-can-eat dessert is appealing to the 8-year-old set.
We wound down our evening with a movie. Nothing like relaxing in a cool movie theater after spending the day in the sun. Unfortunately, the kids chose G-Force. If you're thinking about it, don't. Just don't. Yes, it's that bad (as if we weren't warned by the previews!) My girls weren't even into it--although maybe they were jut tired. The kids behind us found all of the butt jokes hilarious.
Yesterday we mostly bummed around the house. I became the house champion of wii Punchout, and I can feel it in my biceps this morning. Good to know I have retained my junior high Punchout skills.
We also went out to look at phones. My contract is up and I am trying to decide between a Blackjack, Blackberry or iphone. The iphone is winning my facebook poll--and the one I played with in the store was way cool.
I hated my firm-issued Blackberry, but it was an older one, so perhaps they have improved.
I liked my Blackjack (which I gave to DH when my firm gave me the Blackberry) because it has a Windows OS and worked really well with my calendar and task syncing--but the new one is is really ugly (yes, I'm a girl and aesthetics play into my phone selection.)
Right now I'm leaning heavily toward the iphone. It's just so cool! I can get the 3G for less than the Blackberry, but the 3GS would be about the same cost. I'm not sure that I need the extra features on the 3GS, but I would hate to regret not coughing up the extra $100 in 6 months when I still have a lot of time left on my contract. My biggest concern with the iphone is typing on the virtual keyboard--my fingers seemed a little clunky.
Of course, I won't make any decisions until after my interview on Monday. I have no idea what their smartphone policy is or what they support.
Anyone have any insight on the Blackberry v. iphone issue? Or the 3G v. 3GS?
P.S. Shelley, if you see this will you email me at legallycertifiable at gmail? I can't figure out how to contact you--I think you've gone underground!
We headed home, showered, and let the birthday girls choose where to go for dinner. Their choice: CiCi's Pizza--a place I try to avoid at all cost. But something about all-you-can-eat pizza followed by all-you-can-eat dessert is appealing to the 8-year-old set.
We wound down our evening with a movie. Nothing like relaxing in a cool movie theater after spending the day in the sun. Unfortunately, the kids chose G-Force. If you're thinking about it, don't. Just don't. Yes, it's that bad (as if we weren't warned by the previews!) My girls weren't even into it--although maybe they were jut tired. The kids behind us found all of the butt jokes hilarious.
Yesterday we mostly bummed around the house. I became the house champion of wii Punchout, and I can feel it in my biceps this morning. Good to know I have retained my junior high Punchout skills.
We also went out to look at phones. My contract is up and I am trying to decide between a Blackjack, Blackberry or iphone. The iphone is winning my facebook poll--and the one I played with in the store was way cool.
I hated my firm-issued Blackberry, but it was an older one, so perhaps they have improved.
I liked my Blackjack (which I gave to DH when my firm gave me the Blackberry) because it has a Windows OS and worked really well with my calendar and task syncing--but the new one is is really ugly (yes, I'm a girl and aesthetics play into my phone selection.)
Right now I'm leaning heavily toward the iphone. It's just so cool! I can get the 3G for less than the Blackberry, but the 3GS would be about the same cost. I'm not sure that I need the extra features on the 3GS, but I would hate to regret not coughing up the extra $100 in 6 months when I still have a lot of time left on my contract. My biggest concern with the iphone is typing on the virtual keyboard--my fingers seemed a little clunky.
Of course, I won't make any decisions until after my interview on Monday. I have no idea what their smartphone policy is or what they support.
Anyone have any insight on the Blackberry v. iphone issue? Or the 3G v. 3GS?
P.S. Shelley, if you see this will you email me at legallycertifiable at gmail? I can't figure out how to contact you--I think you've gone underground!
7/24/09
So, am I just a pessimist?
So I emailed conservative firm my ranking and honors info yesterday, but I got a weird auto-responder, so I followed up with a phone call this morning. I relayed the information over the phone, but couldn't really gauge Partner's reaction.
But, this afternoon Partner called and wants to set up another meeting for Monday morning. I'll be meeting with 3 junior partners, and then I will meet with the two named partners with whom I have already met.
This has to be a good sign, right? Maybe I am just developing a seriously doom-and-gloom attitude, but I am very wary about getting my hopes up.
But, this afternoon Partner called and wants to set up another meeting for Monday morning. I'll be meeting with 3 junior partners, and then I will meet with the two named partners with whom I have already met.
This has to be a good sign, right? Maybe I am just developing a seriously doom-and-gloom attitude, but I am very wary about getting my hopes up.
Eight
Today is the twins' eighth birthday. It's hard to comprehend that they have actually been in the world for 8 years. It doesn't seem like it's been that long.
I'll admit that infant twins were hard. The first 5 months were a complete blur because I got virtually no sleep and I felt like all I ever did was feed babies. (I never got the hang of nursing both at the same time, and one was a slow nurser, so about the time I was done with one, it was time to feed the other.)
But once they started sleeping and eating less frequently, life was great and they were (and still are) so much fun!
DH took the day off and we are taking them to the waterpark to celebrate. Right now they are all out getting donuts--and it is raining! Hopefully it is an isolated even that will pass quickly, because it was not supposed to rain today.
7/23/09
Another hit
I contacted the registrar's office today regarding my ranking and honors designation. While they do not give specific rankings to students, they are provided to graduates upon request. So I now have my exact ranking. I am not as close to the top third as I had anticipated--which seems to render the honors designation almost meaningless if almost half the class graduates with honors.
I think this will be the nail in the coffin that is my application with Conservative Firm. They seem to be really intent on hiring someone in the top third. In fact, they haven't asked for any professional references or writing samples. It's as though my professional qualifications are meaningless if I didn't hit some magic number in law school.
We'll see how they respond, but I don't expect anything positive. I'm afraid that they will think that I wasn't forthcoming about my grades--although I've tried to honestly answer everything they've asked.
I am just about at my breaking point. I have worked my ass off for the past 5 years, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it but a boatload of debt.
I met with a recruiter today, whose only position was with the firm that I am conflicted out with. Then she went on and on about how many unemployed attorneys there are, and how low doc review rates keep sliding because there are so many who need the work and are willing to do it for peanuts. Great.
That meeting certainly made me feel better about the crappy state of my existence.
I think this will be the nail in the coffin that is my application with Conservative Firm. They seem to be really intent on hiring someone in the top third. In fact, they haven't asked for any professional references or writing samples. It's as though my professional qualifications are meaningless if I didn't hit some magic number in law school.
We'll see how they respond, but I don't expect anything positive. I'm afraid that they will think that I wasn't forthcoming about my grades--although I've tried to honestly answer everything they've asked.
I am just about at my breaking point. I have worked my ass off for the past 5 years, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it but a boatload of debt.
I met with a recruiter today, whose only position was with the firm that I am conflicted out with. Then she went on and on about how many unemployed attorneys there are, and how low doc review rates keep sliding because there are so many who need the work and are willing to do it for peanuts. Great.
That meeting certainly made me feel better about the crappy state of my existence.
7/22/09
Is this good or bad?
This evening I received a call from Partner at Conservative firm, who had a few follow-up questions for me. It seems I confused them with my complicated, nontraditional background that is not really explained by my resume. He wanted to verify when I graduated undergrad, if I had started right after high school, and when I started law school and when I transferred. And he wanted clarification regarding whether I had graduated in the top 1/3 of my class. Then he asked me to send over my transcripts.
I explained that I did my undergraduate work right out of high school, graduated in 1997, and stayed home with my children for 6 years, until starting law school in 2004. I transferred after 1 year, which, as far as I am aware, is the only time that you can transfer in any law school in the country.
I explained that my school ranks top third and top half. I did not make the top third cut, but I know that I was close because I graduated with honors, and the cutoff for graduating with honors is close to the cutoff for top third, although I did not know what the difference is. (I think honors is a standard gpa cutoff that does not change from year to year--but I don't know what the gpa cutoff was for top third in my class, which, of course, would change every year.)
Conservative Partner repeated that they were still conducting interviews, but they were obviously looking closely at me. And he repeated that they were quite impressed with me and the fact that I put myself through undergrad while working full time.
I just hope my transcript doesn't blow it for me. My worst grades were in my contract and UCC classes--which are quite relevant to what I would be doing for them. But my best grades were in procedure and performance-based classes (trial ad), which is also very relevant.
I explained that I did my undergraduate work right out of high school, graduated in 1997, and stayed home with my children for 6 years, until starting law school in 2004. I transferred after 1 year, which, as far as I am aware, is the only time that you can transfer in any law school in the country.
I explained that my school ranks top third and top half. I did not make the top third cut, but I know that I was close because I graduated with honors, and the cutoff for graduating with honors is close to the cutoff for top third, although I did not know what the difference is. (I think honors is a standard gpa cutoff that does not change from year to year--but I don't know what the gpa cutoff was for top third in my class, which, of course, would change every year.)
Conservative Partner repeated that they were still conducting interviews, but they were obviously looking closely at me. And he repeated that they were quite impressed with me and the fact that I put myself through undergrad while working full time.
I just hope my transcript doesn't blow it for me. My worst grades were in my contract and UCC classes--which are quite relevant to what I would be doing for them. But my best grades were in procedure and performance-based classes (trial ad), which is also very relevant.
7/21/09
Always check your rear view before leaving the house
This morning I had my second round of interviews with Conservative Firm. I carefully selected my black skirt-suit with barely-there pinstripes and even pantyhose.
I was feeling pretty good about the interview when I arrived home, but when I reached behind me to unzip my skirt, I found that it was already unzipped. Yes, it appears that I spend the entire morning with my behind hanging out of my skirt.
I put my jacket back on to assess (ha!) how much I was really showing. About 2", more if I bent or reached. So instead of analyzing the interview, I have spent the last half hour analyzing whether the interviewers were walking in front or behind and whether I ever bent over. Fortunately, I think the opportunity to examine my exposed assets (ha!) was minimal--but it is still very possible that it was noticed.
As for the interview, I think it went well. The first interviewer told me that I had a good presence. And I got the "any firm would be luck to have you" line--but I get that a lot, and yet no frim seems to be thanking their lucky stars to have found me and offering me a job.
He seemed impressed that I had graduated from a top tier school with honors while raising three children. He also spent a lot of time asking about my background-where I was from, what my parents did. My dad is a machinist and my mother was a retail store manager. I obviously do not come from a pedigreed ivy-league background. But I think this played very well, because he stated that their clientele range from fairly unsophisticated and uneducated to highly educated, and they needed someone comfortable dealing with the entire range. I pointed out that their unsophisticated clients are the type of people that I came from, and that while I have pulled myself up by my own bootstraps and acquired an education and some degree of cultural sophistication, I certainly haven't forgotten where I came from.
He was also shocked at the circumstances of my leaving my previous firm, and seemed to sense that something somewhat underhanded had happened there. (Seriously, no lawyer has every heard of someone unable to take a job because of a conflict.) Then he gave me a little pep talk of the "when one door closes, another one opens" variety. (I've heard this one in several interviews, too.)
I also mentioned that I had co-authored a paper that was presented at a large conference on contractual risk transfer--a subject outside my primary practice area, but very relevant to the position at this firm. (Why is this not on my resume? I had almost forgotten about it.) He seemed very excited about that--and then showed me the large treatise on his desk involving the same subject matter.
That interview lasted about an hour, and I felt that we developed a nice rapport.
The second interview was short. I was supposed to interview with that partner first, but the schedule was changed at the last minute. He had a conference call, so we only had about 15 minutes together. He also spent quite a bit of time on my background--then he asked about my undergrad grades.
I told him honestly that my undergrad grades were unimpressive. I worked full-time while I was putting myself through school and just did not put a lot of effort into my classwork. He seemed ok with that--my law grades clearly show that I was smart enough to make the grade. Then he asked how I managed to get into a top tier school if my grades were that bad.
So it came out that I had transferred in from a 4th tier school. But I think he was ok with that, too. I explained that I was highly ranked in the 4th tier school and that it was almost as difficult to transfer in as it was to be admitted in the first place. He did not seem to have a problem with any of that--and also seemed impressed with my law school grades while I was raising a family.
Overall, I think it went well. They did mention that they were interviewing other candidates, but hopefully my blue-collar background and work ethic will give me an advantage. Unfortunately, this firm is taking their time--so who knows how long it will be before they make a decision. It has been a full month since my initial interviews.
I was feeling pretty good about the interview when I arrived home, but when I reached behind me to unzip my skirt, I found that it was already unzipped. Yes, it appears that I spend the entire morning with my behind hanging out of my skirt.
I put my jacket back on to assess (ha!) how much I was really showing. About 2", more if I bent or reached. So instead of analyzing the interview, I have spent the last half hour analyzing whether the interviewers were walking in front or behind and whether I ever bent over. Fortunately, I think the opportunity to examine my exposed assets (ha!) was minimal--but it is still very possible that it was noticed.
As for the interview, I think it went well. The first interviewer told me that I had a good presence. And I got the "any firm would be luck to have you" line--but I get that a lot, and yet no frim seems to be thanking their lucky stars to have found me and offering me a job.
He seemed impressed that I had graduated from a top tier school with honors while raising three children. He also spent a lot of time asking about my background-where I was from, what my parents did. My dad is a machinist and my mother was a retail store manager. I obviously do not come from a pedigreed ivy-league background. But I think this played very well, because he stated that their clientele range from fairly unsophisticated and uneducated to highly educated, and they needed someone comfortable dealing with the entire range. I pointed out that their unsophisticated clients are the type of people that I came from, and that while I have pulled myself up by my own bootstraps and acquired an education and some degree of cultural sophistication, I certainly haven't forgotten where I came from.
He was also shocked at the circumstances of my leaving my previous firm, and seemed to sense that something somewhat underhanded had happened there. (Seriously, no lawyer has every heard of someone unable to take a job because of a conflict.) Then he gave me a little pep talk of the "when one door closes, another one opens" variety. (I've heard this one in several interviews, too.)
I also mentioned that I had co-authored a paper that was presented at a large conference on contractual risk transfer--a subject outside my primary practice area, but very relevant to the position at this firm. (Why is this not on my resume? I had almost forgotten about it.) He seemed very excited about that--and then showed me the large treatise on his desk involving the same subject matter.
That interview lasted about an hour, and I felt that we developed a nice rapport.
The second interview was short. I was supposed to interview with that partner first, but the schedule was changed at the last minute. He had a conference call, so we only had about 15 minutes together. He also spent quite a bit of time on my background--then he asked about my undergrad grades.
I told him honestly that my undergrad grades were unimpressive. I worked full-time while I was putting myself through school and just did not put a lot of effort into my classwork. He seemed ok with that--my law grades clearly show that I was smart enough to make the grade. Then he asked how I managed to get into a top tier school if my grades were that bad.
So it came out that I had transferred in from a 4th tier school. But I think he was ok with that, too. I explained that I was highly ranked in the 4th tier school and that it was almost as difficult to transfer in as it was to be admitted in the first place. He did not seem to have a problem with any of that--and also seemed impressed with my law school grades while I was raising a family.
Overall, I think it went well. They did mention that they were interviewing other candidates, but hopefully my blue-collar background and work ethic will give me an advantage. Unfortunately, this firm is taking their time--so who knows how long it will be before they make a decision. It has been a full month since my initial interviews.
7/20/09
To be or not to be
Conservative Firm just called to set up an interview with 2 named partners (I already interviewed with one of 3 named partners). Woot! This is my last glimmer of hope of landing a job before my end of summer deadline, and then it is full speed ahead with my solo gig.
Actually, this weekend we bought a pricey new all -in-one laser printer. It is pretty much a necessity if I go solo, and can still be used even if I miraculously land a job. We also bought a desk off Craigslist for $80. It's not especially nice, but it gives me a ton of workspace and the price was right.
We've also started converting SS's room into an office. The twins have been begging to be in the same room again, and have both been sleeping in TT's room all summer, so I might as well take advantage of the space.
Since I haven't been able to find affordable office space, I think I am going forward with a virtual office, run from my newly-converted home office. It is the easiest way to keep overhead down--I'm just not so sure about how people feel about a lawyer without a real office.
Opinions anybody?
This is certainly becoming an acceptable way for the small-firm lawyer to practice. It is discussed frequently on Solosez and my state bar is offering a webcast-CLE on the home-based law office this week.
And in reality, I rarely met my clients face-to-face when I worked in a real firm--usually only when we were preparing for depositions. And I hired many experts who charge much more than I will be without ever meeting them in person.
Plus there is the added benefit that I will go to my clients, rather than them coming to me. Like old-fashioned house-calls. Since I'm focusing on a more rural area, this could be a big plus.
But will clients see it that way? And should I openly market my home-based status and the potential benefits, or only mention it when it comes up?
I guess we'll see what works.
Actually, this weekend we bought a pricey new all -in-one laser printer. It is pretty much a necessity if I go solo, and can still be used even if I miraculously land a job. We also bought a desk off Craigslist for $80. It's not especially nice, but it gives me a ton of workspace and the price was right.
We've also started converting SS's room into an office. The twins have been begging to be in the same room again, and have both been sleeping in TT's room all summer, so I might as well take advantage of the space.
Since I haven't been able to find affordable office space, I think I am going forward with a virtual office, run from my newly-converted home office. It is the easiest way to keep overhead down--I'm just not so sure about how people feel about a lawyer without a real office.
Opinions anybody?
This is certainly becoming an acceptable way for the small-firm lawyer to practice. It is discussed frequently on Solosez and my state bar is offering a webcast-CLE on the home-based law office this week.
And in reality, I rarely met my clients face-to-face when I worked in a real firm--usually only when we were preparing for depositions. And I hired many experts who charge much more than I will be without ever meeting them in person.
Plus there is the added benefit that I will go to my clients, rather than them coming to me. Like old-fashioned house-calls. Since I'm focusing on a more rural area, this could be a big plus.
But will clients see it that way? And should I openly market my home-based status and the potential benefits, or only mention it when it comes up?
I guess we'll see what works.
7/19/09
I have good kids
The twins woke DH and me this morning blaring "They Say It's Your Birthday." It is DH's b-day and playing the song first thing in the morning and dancing like crazy people is our family ritual, but this is the first time it has been kid-initiated.
Then they presented DH with a breakfast menu. His choices were:
They've also made up a list of other things they have planned for today
Then they presented DH with a breakfast menu. His choices were:
- Milk
- Water
- OJ
- Beer
- Pancakes
They've also made up a list of other things they have planned for today
- Make a Birthday King Crown
- Write a Birthday Story
- Do Everything We're Told (yeah, we'll see about that one.)
7/18/09
Real life and movies
So this morning we we headed out to the early showing of Harry Potter (which saves us $15 - 20 vs. going to afternoon or evening showings.) Just as we were about to leave our neighborhood, I noticed a car on the side of the road with the door slightly open and the driver jerking around. I pulled over and DH hopped out to check on the guy.
I was backing up to where the other car was and saw DH whip out his cell phone, so I knew something wasn't right. The driver was having a full-blown seizure. I stayed with the driver while DH talked to the 911 operator.
I have had first-aid training, and have been CPR certified, but I didn't recall any instruction for what to do about a seizure, other than stick something in the person's mouth to keep them from biting--and maybe roll them over to keep them from aspirating. But I had already searched through our first-aid kit and hadn't come up with anything appropriate, and since he was mostly upright in the car, the chances of aspiration seemed pretty low.
Fortunately, the seizure seemed to be weakening and the guy did not appear to be causing himself harm. But he was completely unresponsive.
Shortly before the paramedics arrived, he seemed to come out of the seizure, but he was still unable to speak. I tried to ask him questions, and he seemed to understand and sort of nod, but he couldn't speak.
Finally the paramedics arrived, and he was able to speak to them, but he was disoriented and unable to correctly answer basic questions.
I hope everything turned out well. His car had been moved when we drove by this afternoon, so hopefully that is a good sign. I'm glad we stopped--there were several other cars that passed by while we were standing there, and none of them stopped-but they did shoot us the evil-eye for blocking the road.
Yes, we actually made the early showing--we had left really early, and the entire incident above probably only lasted about 15 minutes. And HP was good. PS thought it didn't follow the book closely enough, but you can only cram so much into a movie. I thought it was funnier and less dark and intense than the more recent HP films. Lots of snogging. Ha! I love that word--snogging!
I was backing up to where the other car was and saw DH whip out his cell phone, so I knew something wasn't right. The driver was having a full-blown seizure. I stayed with the driver while DH talked to the 911 operator.
I have had first-aid training, and have been CPR certified, but I didn't recall any instruction for what to do about a seizure, other than stick something in the person's mouth to keep them from biting--and maybe roll them over to keep them from aspirating. But I had already searched through our first-aid kit and hadn't come up with anything appropriate, and since he was mostly upright in the car, the chances of aspiration seemed pretty low.
Fortunately, the seizure seemed to be weakening and the guy did not appear to be causing himself harm. But he was completely unresponsive.
Shortly before the paramedics arrived, he seemed to come out of the seizure, but he was still unable to speak. I tried to ask him questions, and he seemed to understand and sort of nod, but he couldn't speak.
Finally the paramedics arrived, and he was able to speak to them, but he was disoriented and unable to correctly answer basic questions.
I hope everything turned out well. His car had been moved when we drove by this afternoon, so hopefully that is a good sign. I'm glad we stopped--there were several other cars that passed by while we were standing there, and none of them stopped-but they did shoot us the evil-eye for blocking the road.
Yes, we actually made the early showing--we had left really early, and the entire incident above probably only lasted about 15 minutes. And HP was good. PS thought it didn't follow the book closely enough, but you can only cram so much into a movie. I thought it was funnier and less dark and intense than the more recent HP films. Lots of snogging. Ha! I love that word--snogging!
7/17/09
The Last Unicorn
So I worked the Legal Aid intake clinic last night. I think it was good for me. A little slap upside the head to remind me that there are plenty of people with even worse lives than me right now.
And it was nice to have a reason to put on my suit and heels and look like a lawyer again.
The clinic was about 20 miles away, along back country roads. I was driving back home at dusk when I saw a unicorn walking toward the road. What's that you say? There's no such thing as unicorns? That's kind of what I was thinking, too. But it was a big white horse with something sticking straight up on top of its head.
As I passed, I realized that it was its ears sticking up. But they were long ears--like a donkey. And this animal was bigger than a donkey--and I've never seen a white donkey. Maybe it was a white mule with long donkey ears. But my dad has a mule and it has short horse ears. So I'm just going to stick with unicorn.
Hopefully it's a sign of good things to come. Or maybe its just a sign that I'm losing my mind.
And it was nice to have a reason to put on my suit and heels and look like a lawyer again.
The clinic was about 20 miles away, along back country roads. I was driving back home at dusk when I saw a unicorn walking toward the road. What's that you say? There's no such thing as unicorns? That's kind of what I was thinking, too. But it was a big white horse with something sticking straight up on top of its head.
As I passed, I realized that it was its ears sticking up. But they were long ears--like a donkey. And this animal was bigger than a donkey--and I've never seen a white donkey. Maybe it was a white mule with long donkey ears. But my dad has a mule and it has short horse ears. So I'm just going to stick with unicorn.
Hopefully it's a sign of good things to come. Or maybe its just a sign that I'm losing my mind.
7/16/09
A little of this and a little of that
Finally met with my pro bono client yesterday. At least I have something to do, now. I'm also working the Legal Aid intake clinic tonight. I'm trying to increase my positive karma.
I emailed the firm that was waiting 3 weeks to do call backs. They said they are still interested in me--just moving slowly. That is my only remaining glimmer of hope. I think I've found 2 jobs to apply to in the past two weeks.
In the meantime, DH is moving right along on the website for my solo firm. We spent a couple of weeks scratching our heads trying to figure out a design. We looked at lots and lots of other attorney websites, and let me tell you, the vast majority of them are really, really bad. We've finally come up with something that is coming together very nicely. If DH doesn't kill me first--he doesn't generally have his clients sitting right next to him offering input while he is designing.
After going out with a friend last weekend, I realized that my wardrobe was lacking in going-out attire. I have a closet full of professional clothes. I have shorts and tanks. I have jeans--which will not see the light of day again until at least October, because it is too hot to even consider putting on a pair of jeans. And I have mom capris.
So I didn't have much to choose from last weekend, or for the outdoor concert I am attending this weekend. I decided that I wanted a super-casual summer dress. I rarely wear dresses, because I just don't have the body type. I am short-waisted, and have a wide rib-cage--so it's hard to find something large enough in the bodice that doesn't bag everywhere else. (I have no hips whatsoever--so I often end up with saddlebags where my hips are supposed to be.)
Anyway, I went out yesterday and tried on a dress that I would normally never, ever consider. It is a black knit halter dress, with an A-line cut. The fit was actually pretty flattering (as opposed to the empire-waist dresses that just make me look pregnant). I also picked up a pair of silver chandelier earrings (I rarely wear earrings, and when I do they are just my simple diamond studs) and some sparkly black flip-flops. The whole outfit was less than $40, and totally not mom-like.
The problem is that I bought a backless dress and I have some crazy-ass coloring on my back right now. I have always been pale and freckly. Now I'm multi-colored and freckly.
A few weeks ago I took the girls to the beach. PS was charged with putting sunscreen on my back. There are now jagged shades of brown (formerly bright red) where she missed. DH says it looks like someone threw acid on my back. This week I took the girls to the pool. Now there is a big red circle, where, once again, no sunscreen managed to land. Kids are useless at helping with sunscreen, and my back looks like a piece of modern art. At least my hair is really long right now and should cover most of it.
***
I emailed the firm that was waiting 3 weeks to do call backs. They said they are still interested in me--just moving slowly. That is my only remaining glimmer of hope. I think I've found 2 jobs to apply to in the past two weeks.
***
In the meantime, DH is moving right along on the website for my solo firm. We spent a couple of weeks scratching our heads trying to figure out a design. We looked at lots and lots of other attorney websites, and let me tell you, the vast majority of them are really, really bad. We've finally come up with something that is coming together very nicely. If DH doesn't kill me first--he doesn't generally have his clients sitting right next to him offering input while he is designing.
***
After going out with a friend last weekend, I realized that my wardrobe was lacking in going-out attire. I have a closet full of professional clothes. I have shorts and tanks. I have jeans--which will not see the light of day again until at least October, because it is too hot to even consider putting on a pair of jeans. And I have mom capris.
So I didn't have much to choose from last weekend, or for the outdoor concert I am attending this weekend. I decided that I wanted a super-casual summer dress. I rarely wear dresses, because I just don't have the body type. I am short-waisted, and have a wide rib-cage--so it's hard to find something large enough in the bodice that doesn't bag everywhere else. (I have no hips whatsoever--so I often end up with saddlebags where my hips are supposed to be.)
Anyway, I went out yesterday and tried on a dress that I would normally never, ever consider. It is a black knit halter dress, with an A-line cut. The fit was actually pretty flattering (as opposed to the empire-waist dresses that just make me look pregnant). I also picked up a pair of silver chandelier earrings (I rarely wear earrings, and when I do they are just my simple diamond studs) and some sparkly black flip-flops. The whole outfit was less than $40, and totally not mom-like.
The problem is that I bought a backless dress and I have some crazy-ass coloring on my back right now. I have always been pale and freckly. Now I'm multi-colored and freckly.
A few weeks ago I took the girls to the beach. PS was charged with putting sunscreen on my back. There are now jagged shades of brown (formerly bright red) where she missed. DH says it looks like someone threw acid on my back. This week I took the girls to the pool. Now there is a big red circle, where, once again, no sunscreen managed to land. Kids are useless at helping with sunscreen, and my back looks like a piece of modern art. At least my hair is really long right now and should cover most of it.
SuperBob Update
I got a call back from the low-cost vet clinic today. They will do the heartworm treatment for $265--which is less than 1/3 the cost from the vet. But they can't get him in until the end of August. They said it was ok to wait, but he needed to get back on the heartworm preventative. The clinic also doesn't do an x-ray or blood panel, which the vet wanted to do, but said wasn't absolutely essential for treatment. DH and I are considering having the vet go ahead and do these things--but it will be about $250.
And the clinic said that Bob would have to be crated for 30 days following his treatment--only out when on a leash. I anticipated this from my internet research--but it is going to be a hige challenge.
Bob has never been crate trained. Yes, yes I know that is our doing and that if we were good dog owners we would have crate trained him. We did purchase an outdoor chain-link kennel for when the yard guys come and when the kids' friends are over (Bob can be rambunctious and he is big enough to be scary to kids who aren't used to big dogs.) Bob ripped the darn thing apart! So not only do I need to find a crate, but it needs to be something that he can't destroy.
And then there is the concern that crating Bob is going to get him all worked up anyway, defeating the purpose of crating him in the first place. He may have to spend 30 days sedated. Poor Bob--I was on bedrest for most of my pregnancy with the twins and it sucked. I can't imagine being stuck in a cage for a month!
And the clinic said that Bob would have to be crated for 30 days following his treatment--only out when on a leash. I anticipated this from my internet research--but it is going to be a hige challenge.
Bob has never been crate trained. Yes, yes I know that is our doing and that if we were good dog owners we would have crate trained him. We did purchase an outdoor chain-link kennel for when the yard guys come and when the kids' friends are over (Bob can be rambunctious and he is big enough to be scary to kids who aren't used to big dogs.) Bob ripped the darn thing apart! So not only do I need to find a crate, but it needs to be something that he can't destroy.
And then there is the concern that crating Bob is going to get him all worked up anyway, defeating the purpose of crating him in the first place. He may have to spend 30 days sedated. Poor Bob--I was on bedrest for most of my pregnancy with the twins and it sucked. I can't imagine being stuck in a cage for a month!
7/15/09
The Amazing Adventures of SuperBob
Last night as we were about to head to bed, DH and I heard Bob going nuts outside. We peeked out the back door to find Bob nose to nose with a curled up snake.At that point, we could only see that it was bigger and darker than a garden snake--and was possibly a rattlesnake. I was yelling at Bob to come inside, but Bob was having none of it. Then the snake suddenly lunged at Bob--and fortunately missed.
Somehow, DH managed to shoo Bob into the house. I was terrified that the snake would strike Bob. My SIL's lab was bitten by a rattlesnake about a year ago. The dog nearly died and the vet bills were astronomical.
Now, I don't generally have a problem with snakes. We have come across several of them while hiking, and they just slither on their merry way. When the twins were about 3, we found a little rat snake on the front walk and the twins carried it around in a Mr. Peanut jar for 3 days until I made them release it before it starved to death.
And once when the twins were babies (in a different house) we awoke to find a garden snake curled up in the bottom of the Exersaucer (Ok, that one freaked me out a little bit.) But we had lots of garden snakes at that house, and we lived in peace as long as they stayed in the garden.
But this snake was big (you can't tell from the picture, but when it slithered away it was about 4' long), looked suspiciously like a rattler, and was trying to strike my dog. It had to go.
My plan was to take it out with the .20 gauge from the safety of my living room window. DH insisted the neighbors would call the police if I discharged a firearm and that I would be hauled to the clinker--despite my insistence that I could definitely beat the rap for firing at a potential rattler. I'm a good shot and our yard is large enough that the .20 gauge couldn't do much damage beyond our fence even if I missed.
Instead, DH went out with a shovel and a bucket. I was hoping that he was going to beat the darn thing to death with a shovel. Nope, his grand plan was to shoo the snake into the bucket. And then what?? It's not like the snake couldn't just slither right back out. And don't ask me what he planned to do with it if he did manage to trap it in the bucket--put in it the aquarium and keep it as a pet?
The snake actually did crawl about 4" into the bucket. Then it backtracked and started slithering across the yard. Snakes can move pretty freakin' fast. DH did not start beating the snake with the shovel--despite my shrieks of "Kill it! Kill it!" And it slithered under the fence and into the front yard where it disappeared.
We are pretty sure that it was a rat snake and not a rattlesnake. The rat snakes looks like a rattlesnake, but does not have a rattle and is not venomous. DH never heard a rattle, and you can see the tail in the picture, and it does not appear to have a rattle.
Still, I'm not thrilled that this creature was found sitting about 10' from my house and 5' from my kids' play fort. Venomous or not, it can still bite, and I don't want it going after the dog or the kids. I guess the good news is that Bob is perfectly willing to protect us from snakes (I'm pretty sure he'd be useless against burglars-he doesn't even bark when the doorbell rings.)
7/14/09
Really, God? Really??
I feel like I just keep getting punched in the face over and over.I took Bob to the vet this morning for his annual checkup and shots. He was a couple of months overdue, and this was our first visit with a new vet.
The vet kept going on and on about what a good-looking dog he is, coat was in good shape, ears were perfectly clear, teeth were pearly white, no fecal parasites.
Unfortunately, an hour after we left the vet called to tell me that Bob had tested positive for heartworm. He can't tell how extensive it is without an x-ray and additional bloodwork. And he warned that treatment would be pretty expensive--about $1000 because he is such a large dog.
Bob tested negative for heartworm at his last vet appointment a little over a year ago, and was on a heartworm preventative. Unfortunately, we were not so great about giving him the heartworm preventative every month. So it's basically my fault that Bob has this serious and expensive-to-treat condition.
I'm just about at the end of my rope. I'm not sure I can handle any more emotional or financial hits.
7/13/09
Yummy summer entertainment for kids.
Today we made ice cream in a bag. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it actually worked and tasted really good! You do have to shake pretty vigorously and the kids weren't the best shakers, so theirs were more like milkshakes, but mine hardened up pretty well.
No we're having a Harry Potter marathon to catch up before the new movie this week. (Yes, I've read all the books and I've seen all the movies, but I have a memory like a sieve, so a little refresher is a good thing.)
No we're having a Harry Potter marathon to catch up before the new movie this week. (Yes, I've read all the books and I've seen all the movies, but I have a memory like a sieve, so a little refresher is a good thing.)
Sotomayor hearing
So, being unemployed with nothing better to do, I am watching the Sotomayor confirmation hearings. This is my first go 'round watching confirmation hearings--so perhaps I am just naive. But some of these senators are major asshats.
Some of the Republicans seem to be taking an opportunity to lecture, bordering on a personal attack in their opening statements. I'm listening to Sen. Graham of S.C. who wants to ensure everyone knows he is unhappy with the nomination, but has admitted that Sotomayor will be confirmed absent a "melt-down." He keeps making snippy little comments which just aren't necessary. It really makes the senator look like a pouty little-leaguer who just lost the big game. Sen. Sessions also made his share of snippy comments--although he was less openly hostile than Graham.
Of course, the Democrats are irritatingly kiss-assy. We've heard about about her qualifications about 5 times over (and we're only 90 minutes in.)
Read what you want into my comments, I'm about a non-partisan as you can get. I like Sotomayor, but I'm a little concerned about where she will fall on the pro-choice/pro-life spectrum.
I can't imagine having to sit there quietly while one after another throw hateful comments at you, about why you aren't right for the job and why some other hispanic would be better (Sen. Graham's statement.) She's obviously smarter, and pending the outcome of these hearings, will have a far more prestigious career than any of these goofball senators who are grilling her.
Maybe her ability to maintain poise and grace during this hearing is as telling about her qualifications as anything else.
Some of the Republicans seem to be taking an opportunity to lecture, bordering on a personal attack in their opening statements. I'm listening to Sen. Graham of S.C. who wants to ensure everyone knows he is unhappy with the nomination, but has admitted that Sotomayor will be confirmed absent a "melt-down." He keeps making snippy little comments which just aren't necessary. It really makes the senator look like a pouty little-leaguer who just lost the big game. Sen. Sessions also made his share of snippy comments--although he was less openly hostile than Graham.
Of course, the Democrats are irritatingly kiss-assy. We've heard about about her qualifications about 5 times over (and we're only 90 minutes in.)
Read what you want into my comments, I'm about a non-partisan as you can get. I like Sotomayor, but I'm a little concerned about where she will fall on the pro-choice/pro-life spectrum.
I can't imagine having to sit there quietly while one after another throw hateful comments at you, about why you aren't right for the job and why some other hispanic would be better (Sen. Graham's statement.) She's obviously smarter, and pending the outcome of these hearings, will have a far more prestigious career than any of these goofball senators who are grilling her.
Maybe her ability to maintain poise and grace during this hearing is as telling about her qualifications as anything else.
7/12/09
Facebook and Tragedy
Facebook seems to have a way of putting us within 6 degrees of separation of tragedy over and over again. I guess I've lived a somewhat charmed life in the sense that I have not personally had to handle any stunning tragedies.
Today I learned via Facebook of a father (the ex-husband of a friend) who drowned in front of his children this morning--right after saving one who had fallen into the water.
Over the past few months, I learned that I girl I went to high school passed away from brain cancer. I learned that another classmate has had a stroke. My god, I'm 34--not old enough to be losing my contemporaries to cancer and strokes!
I learned that a former classmate was married to a man who was paralyzed in a hugely publicized incident.
I also learned that an old friend's father passed was found unresponsive, and a short time later that he had passed away--all via facebook.
I think I preferred the "ignorance is bliss" state of mind. Suddenly hearing of all these terrible things forces me to consider my own mortality (or even more frightening, my children's mortality).
Today I learned via Facebook of a father (the ex-husband of a friend) who drowned in front of his children this morning--right after saving one who had fallen into the water.
Over the past few months, I learned that I girl I went to high school passed away from brain cancer. I learned that another classmate has had a stroke. My god, I'm 34--not old enough to be losing my contemporaries to cancer and strokes!
I learned that a former classmate was married to a man who was paralyzed in a hugely publicized incident.
I also learned that an old friend's father passed was found unresponsive, and a short time later that he had passed away--all via facebook.
I think I preferred the "ignorance is bliss" state of mind. Suddenly hearing of all these terrible things forces me to consider my own mortality (or even more frightening, my children's mortality).
Overheard at LC's house
DH: "Hey, TT, do you want a chicken leg?"
TT: "No thanks, I'll take a drumstick!"
TT: "No thanks, I'll take a drumstick!"
Thank God I'm Married
I met a friend for drinks last night at this tiny divey honky tonk where the beer is cold and cheap and served in a can. We met at 7 and ended up staying much later than either of us intended. (We had to refill our parking meters twice.)
When we first arrived, there were only a couple of others in the place, but as the night wore on, the crowd thickened and shots started pouring into plastic cups (for them, not us--I am well past the shot shooting era of my life.)
Watching drunken mating rituals was entertaining for my happily-married-with-three-children viewpoint. Whatever they are out there looking for, I've already got.
But I was stunned by the number of hot young girls hooked up with bald, fat old men. Most of the women in the bar were 10 years younger than me, and most of the men were at least 10 years older than me. WTH? Why weren't these girls going some place full of cute, young frat boys. Just because you're old doesn't mean you're rich, and these old guys didn't exactly give off an aura of success.
Anyway the people-watching and judgy snarks about the selected attire of the other patrons made for a fun evening. But I am so glad this is a once-in-a-blue-moon thing and not an every-weekend-hoping-to-find-the-right-guy kind of thing.
When we first arrived, there were only a couple of others in the place, but as the night wore on, the crowd thickened and shots started pouring into plastic cups (for them, not us--I am well past the shot shooting era of my life.)
Watching drunken mating rituals was entertaining for my happily-married-with-three-children viewpoint. Whatever they are out there looking for, I've already got.
But I was stunned by the number of hot young girls hooked up with bald, fat old men. Most of the women in the bar were 10 years younger than me, and most of the men were at least 10 years older than me. WTH? Why weren't these girls going some place full of cute, young frat boys. Just because you're old doesn't mean you're rich, and these old guys didn't exactly give off an aura of success.
Anyway the people-watching and judgy snarks about the selected attire of the other patrons made for a fun evening. But I am so glad this is a once-in-a-blue-moon thing and not an every-weekend-hoping-to-find-the-right-guy kind of thing.
7/9/09
And now for something fun
If you have not checked out Awkward family Photos, you must go there now. Freakin' hilarious.
Adventures in finding office space
My biggest challenge with my plan to go solo is finding office space. I need to keep my overhead as low as possible, and office space ain't cheap.
Ideally, I could work out some kind of office-sharing agreement with another attorney--but I'm not sure how to go about that. I've attended a local bar association meeting, and the attorneys in my little town weren't especially friendly and welcoming. They clearly did not want to encourage any competition to settle in. So I'm not sure how to work out the whole office sharing thing. There also does not appear to be any local bar association newsletter in which to advertise.
Another alternative is a virtual office. For a couple hundred bucks a month, I would have access to office and conference space in a nice office building for a set number of hours each month. This would work great if I were building my practice in Big City. But if I go solo, I want to stay close to home (have to, really, to avoid child care costs I can't afford), and there are no virtual offices in the 'burbs.
So I have been looking at low-rent local office space.
The first place I looked at was in another suburb, about 10 miles away. It is a small town that is experiencing a lot of growth and it doesn't have a lawyer. (But the income and home values are approximately 1/2 what they are in my suburb.) There is a small office for rent there for $500/month. That was definitely more than I wanted to spend, but I was hopeful that if I liked the place, I could negotiate the rent.
The "office" ended up being a small room inside of larger retail space in a strip of attached buildings. The space would be shared with a gift shop, through which clients would have to navigate to reach my office. No conference space or reception area at all. Definitely not something that says "successful lawyer."
So this week, I decided to try again. I drove around the little downtown square in my town looking for available office space. I found one that looked promising, with another attorney in the same space. I called the leasing agent who said he had an office for $200/month.
I went to take a look today. OMG, it was worse than the first space. I swear I have a closet in my house that it larger than this alleged office. It had nasty stained commercial carpeting and a homemade built-in desk made out of plywood. There was a modem with a bunch of wires sticking out sitting on the floor. I guess it had free internet.
I spent about 5 seconds in that office before I turned around and walked out. Working out of a closet is not the image I want to present to my clients.
I can certainly work out of the spare bedroom in my house--but I really need someplace to meet clients. So the search continues.
Ideally, I could work out some kind of office-sharing agreement with another attorney--but I'm not sure how to go about that. I've attended a local bar association meeting, and the attorneys in my little town weren't especially friendly and welcoming. They clearly did not want to encourage any competition to settle in. So I'm not sure how to work out the whole office sharing thing. There also does not appear to be any local bar association newsletter in which to advertise.
Another alternative is a virtual office. For a couple hundred bucks a month, I would have access to office and conference space in a nice office building for a set number of hours each month. This would work great if I were building my practice in Big City. But if I go solo, I want to stay close to home (have to, really, to avoid child care costs I can't afford), and there are no virtual offices in the 'burbs.
So I have been looking at low-rent local office space.
The first place I looked at was in another suburb, about 10 miles away. It is a small town that is experiencing a lot of growth and it doesn't have a lawyer. (But the income and home values are approximately 1/2 what they are in my suburb.) There is a small office for rent there for $500/month. That was definitely more than I wanted to spend, but I was hopeful that if I liked the place, I could negotiate the rent.
The "office" ended up being a small room inside of larger retail space in a strip of attached buildings. The space would be shared with a gift shop, through which clients would have to navigate to reach my office. No conference space or reception area at all. Definitely not something that says "successful lawyer."
So this week, I decided to try again. I drove around the little downtown square in my town looking for available office space. I found one that looked promising, with another attorney in the same space. I called the leasing agent who said he had an office for $200/month.
I went to take a look today. OMG, it was worse than the first space. I swear I have a closet in my house that it larger than this alleged office. It had nasty stained commercial carpeting and a homemade built-in desk made out of plywood. There was a modem with a bunch of wires sticking out sitting on the floor. I guess it had free internet.
I spent about 5 seconds in that office before I turned around and walked out. Working out of a closet is not the image I want to present to my clients.
I can certainly work out of the spare bedroom in my house--but I really need someplace to meet clients. So the search continues.
Another fabulous day in the fabulous life of LC
I knew it was too good to be true when it only cost $220 to fix the A/C in my car last week. Today I was heading out on an errand when it started making a funny noise. Every time I accelerated it sounded like a baseball card stuck in bicycle spokes. This was especially concerning because we were planning to drive 400 miles to Hometown tomorrow.
So I called the shop that did the previous repair and they got me in right away. And then informed me that the air compressor was going out, and it is attached to some belt that would take out lots of important stuff if it did. Cost of repair-- $1300.
Um, yeah I DON'T HAVE A JOB!! I do not want to spend $1300 to repair my 7-year-old vehicle with 130,000 miles! There are much better things that I can think of to spend that kind of money on.
Unfortunately, I don't have a choice. I can't just turn off the A/C--the average temp this time of year is 100. And the guy said that I still run the risk of the belt breaking and messing stuff up even if I don't run the A/C.
I did however, call another shop. I was not especially happy with the first shop for not figuring all of this out the first time around. (I was pretty surprised when they didn't tell me the compressor needed to be replaced on Monday, because my research had indicated that was the problem.) And I really need to spend 2 full days without my vehicle and cancel my plans to leave town because they didn't bother to look beyond the obvious on Monday.
Anyway, the 2d shop quoted me about $1000 for the repair. The guy spent about 10 minutes with me on the phone explaining what needed to be done and why it would cost so much. He also said the chances were slim that the belt would break if I don't run the A/C (whereas the first guy was trying to convince me that I was driving a ticking time bomb--and was obviously peeved when I told him I was seeking a second opinion before dropping $1300.*)
So I guess I'll take it into the 2d shop tomorrow and cancel my weekend plans. I honestly didn't want to go anyway, but I had promised my dad that I would be there for his installation as the Grand Poobah of his lodge. I guess I won't be learning any DaVinci Code Masonic secrets, after all.
*WTH is up with mechanics who treat me like a moron because I am a woman. Hello?? I guarantee I have more education than you and I am 90% sure I'm smarter that you. And I spent a good part of my childhood hanging out in the garage with my dad. My first car wasn't running when I got it. I had to change out all the belts, the oil, rotate the tires, change out the master cylinder, bleed the brakes, replace the CV joints, and help out with any other repair that needed to be made. So while I am not a mechanic, I have a decent idea of what is going on under the hood of my car. And if I don't, I am going to call my dad or my grandfather before I bring my car in to you, so that I know whether you are trying to screw me over!
So I called the shop that did the previous repair and they got me in right away. And then informed me that the air compressor was going out, and it is attached to some belt that would take out lots of important stuff if it did. Cost of repair-- $1300.
Um, yeah I DON'T HAVE A JOB!! I do not want to spend $1300 to repair my 7-year-old vehicle with 130,000 miles! There are much better things that I can think of to spend that kind of money on.
Unfortunately, I don't have a choice. I can't just turn off the A/C--the average temp this time of year is 100. And the guy said that I still run the risk of the belt breaking and messing stuff up even if I don't run the A/C.
I did however, call another shop. I was not especially happy with the first shop for not figuring all of this out the first time around. (I was pretty surprised when they didn't tell me the compressor needed to be replaced on Monday, because my research had indicated that was the problem.) And I really need to spend 2 full days without my vehicle and cancel my plans to leave town because they didn't bother to look beyond the obvious on Monday.
Anyway, the 2d shop quoted me about $1000 for the repair. The guy spent about 10 minutes with me on the phone explaining what needed to be done and why it would cost so much. He also said the chances were slim that the belt would break if I don't run the A/C (whereas the first guy was trying to convince me that I was driving a ticking time bomb--and was obviously peeved when I told him I was seeking a second opinion before dropping $1300.*)
So I guess I'll take it into the 2d shop tomorrow and cancel my weekend plans. I honestly didn't want to go anyway, but I had promised my dad that I would be there for his installation as the Grand Poobah of his lodge. I guess I won't be learning any DaVinci Code Masonic secrets, after all.
*WTH is up with mechanics who treat me like a moron because I am a woman. Hello?? I guarantee I have more education than you and I am 90% sure I'm smarter that you. And I spent a good part of my childhood hanging out in the garage with my dad. My first car wasn't running when I got it. I had to change out all the belts, the oil, rotate the tires, change out the master cylinder, bleed the brakes, replace the CV joints, and help out with any other repair that needed to be made. So while I am not a mechanic, I have a decent idea of what is going on under the hood of my car. And if I don't, I am going to call my dad or my grandfather before I bring my car in to you, so that I know whether you are trying to screw me over!
7/7/09
An opportunity?
Last night I received an email from my aunt, forwarding an email from an out-of-state attorney (a close friend of theirs) who is looking for a family law attorney in my area.
I honestly don't know any family law attorneys--but could probably ask around to get a name. Or I could try to sell myself--after all, that is what I'll be doing if I go solo, and I am jumping in with my legal aid case.
I haven't decided how to respond yet. DH and I agreed to give it until the end of summer before launching my solo firm if it becomes necessary. Going solo really isn't my top choice. The financial instability terrifies me--especially when I consider the amount that I owe in student loans. We can get by on DH's salary--but only while my loans are deferred, and they can't be deferred forever.
Nevertheless, I have been preparing for "Plan B," should it become necessary. I have received quotes for insurance and advertising, I have looked around a bit at renting office space, DH has started designing my website and I already have a domain registered. I signed up for a virtual PBX system which gives a free 800 number, fax, and the aura of a real office for minimal cost. Yesterday I filled up a virtual shopping cart with office supplies to get an idea of the cost of the bare minimum to set up my office (about $150.) DH has speced out a new computer and the software I would need.
I could go forward and try to take this case.
But what if I do get an offer next week or next month? Will a firm be turned off if I bring family law clients with me? I haven't been interviewing with firms that practice family law. Or will it show that I have the gumption to move forward when I am unemployed?
Also, although I have done a lot of research so far, there are still additional steps to be taken should I take on an actual paying client. At a minimum, I would have to open an IOLTA account. Is it worth the hassle, just to stick my toe in?
I don't know--but I am reluctant to turn down any opportunity at this point.
I honestly don't know any family law attorneys--but could probably ask around to get a name. Or I could try to sell myself--after all, that is what I'll be doing if I go solo, and I am jumping in with my legal aid case.
I haven't decided how to respond yet. DH and I agreed to give it until the end of summer before launching my solo firm if it becomes necessary. Going solo really isn't my top choice. The financial instability terrifies me--especially when I consider the amount that I owe in student loans. We can get by on DH's salary--but only while my loans are deferred, and they can't be deferred forever.
Nevertheless, I have been preparing for "Plan B," should it become necessary. I have received quotes for insurance and advertising, I have looked around a bit at renting office space, DH has started designing my website and I already have a domain registered. I signed up for a virtual PBX system which gives a free 800 number, fax, and the aura of a real office for minimal cost. Yesterday I filled up a virtual shopping cart with office supplies to get an idea of the cost of the bare minimum to set up my office (about $150.) DH has speced out a new computer and the software I would need.
I could go forward and try to take this case.
But what if I do get an offer next week or next month? Will a firm be turned off if I bring family law clients with me? I haven't been interviewing with firms that practice family law. Or will it show that I have the gumption to move forward when I am unemployed?
Also, although I have done a lot of research so far, there are still additional steps to be taken should I take on an actual paying client. At a minimum, I would have to open an IOLTA account. Is it worth the hassle, just to stick my toe in?
I don't know--but I am reluctant to turn down any opportunity at this point.
Today's conversation
"Mom, Bob's pink thing is hanging out." (Bob is the dog.)
"Mom, what is the pink thing?"
"It's his pen!s."
"But how come you can't see it all the time?"
"Because it only sticks out when he's happy. The rest of the time it is shriveled up where you can't really see it."
"But why is it covered in fur?"
"I have no idea."
"Mom, what is the pink thing?"
"It's his pen!s."
"But how come you can't see it all the time?"
"Because it only sticks out when he's happy. The rest of the time it is shriveled up where you can't really see it."
"But why is it covered in fur?"
"I have no idea."
7/6/09
Food
I have to say that I made some fabulous dishes to take to my neighbor yesterday. I baked Poppy Seed bread with Glaze that is so yummy and super easy. (It made 2 loaves, so I kept one and gave the other away.) The glaze really makes the bread, which reminds me of the poppy seed muffins that I would occasionally splurge on at Paradise Cafe when I was working.
I also made chicken salad and Strawberry and Spinach Salad. I just kind of do my own thing with the chicken salad. I chunked 3 chicken breast halves, diced 1 rib of celery (for crunch), a quarter cup or so of dried cranberries (for color and a touch of sweetness), and a quarter cup or so of walnuts. I add just enough mayo to moisten the mixture. I don't like mushy chicken salad!
This was my first time making the strawberry and spinach salad, and it is to die for! The dressing really makes the salad--but don't add it until you are ready to serve because the spinach wilts quickly once the dressing is added. Also, the dressing calls for sesame seeds and poppy seeds, which I think I will omit next time. I'm not sure they added anything and I could live without the seeds in my teeth.
Oh, and on the salad, I followed one of the reviewers' advice and added sugared almonds. They were so easy and really added a nice crunch and flavor. Just take 1/2 c. almonds and 3 T. sugar and heat until the sugar caramelizes--delish!
All of it was very easy, and made a great summer dinner. Although DH and the kids refuse to eat chicken salad, and instead opted for barbecue chicken sandwiches. Very easy and pretty good. (But this is not an all-day slow-cooker recipe--the chicken will get mushy if cooked for more than 6 hours. When I'm working I will start it on high when I get home from work, cook until I go to bed, then refrigerate and it is great the next day.)
I also made chicken salad and Strawberry and Spinach Salad. I just kind of do my own thing with the chicken salad. I chunked 3 chicken breast halves, diced 1 rib of celery (for crunch), a quarter cup or so of dried cranberries (for color and a touch of sweetness), and a quarter cup or so of walnuts. I add just enough mayo to moisten the mixture. I don't like mushy chicken salad!
This was my first time making the strawberry and spinach salad, and it is to die for! The dressing really makes the salad--but don't add it until you are ready to serve because the spinach wilts quickly once the dressing is added. Also, the dressing calls for sesame seeds and poppy seeds, which I think I will omit next time. I'm not sure they added anything and I could live without the seeds in my teeth.
Oh, and on the salad, I followed one of the reviewers' advice and added sugared almonds. They were so easy and really added a nice crunch and flavor. Just take 1/2 c. almonds and 3 T. sugar and heat until the sugar caramelizes--delish!
All of it was very easy, and made a great summer dinner. Although DH and the kids refuse to eat chicken salad, and instead opted for barbecue chicken sandwiches. Very easy and pretty good. (But this is not an all-day slow-cooker recipe--the chicken will get mushy if cooked for more than 6 hours. When I'm working I will start it on high when I get home from work, cook until I go to bed, then refrigerate and it is great the next day.)
Ups and Downs
The A/C problem was only a broken belt--yea! I had been poking around the internet and reading of $1200 repairs, so I was anticipating the worst. My car is ready, but I have no means of retrieving it, so I guess I'll be hanging out at home today.
I called to reschedule with the recruiter, but she is leaving town, so we can't meet for 2 weeks. Sounds like it was just an informational meeting, and they didn't have anything specific in mind.
I am beginning to sink into a well of hopelessness. I need to start working again. I am disappointed that I have not heard anything from Terrible Commute Firm, because I thought that interview went really well. I sent a follow-up today, restating my interest and inquiring whether I am still being considered. It drives me nuts when firms that interview you don't have the courtesy to let you know they aren't interested.
I've seen a couple of new postings for firms that rejected my resume, but never interviewed me. I met the qualifications they advertised, so how can they decide I'm not the one if they don't bother to interview me? Obviously they aren't finding anyone better if they are still looking after a month.
I'm trying to remain optimistic about Conservative Firm, which isn't doing callbacks for another week. But I think (but am not at all sure) that I saw a new ad for them this morning. If it is the same firm, they have redrawn their required qualifications and I don't make the cut.
Why does no one want me? Every single person that I have ever worked for in the legal field has complimentary things to say about my work. I know I'm good at what I do--I'm just not very good at interviewing.
Ok, ok, I'll stop the pity party.
I called to reschedule with the recruiter, but she is leaving town, so we can't meet for 2 weeks. Sounds like it was just an informational meeting, and they didn't have anything specific in mind.
I am beginning to sink into a well of hopelessness. I need to start working again. I am disappointed that I have not heard anything from Terrible Commute Firm, because I thought that interview went really well. I sent a follow-up today, restating my interest and inquiring whether I am still being considered. It drives me nuts when firms that interview you don't have the courtesy to let you know they aren't interested.
I've seen a couple of new postings for firms that rejected my resume, but never interviewed me. I met the qualifications they advertised, so how can they decide I'm not the one if they don't bother to interview me? Obviously they aren't finding anyone better if they are still looking after a month.
I'm trying to remain optimistic about Conservative Firm, which isn't doing callbacks for another week. But I think (but am not at all sure) that I saw a new ad for them this morning. If it is the same firm, they have redrawn their required qualifications and I don't make the cut.
Why does no one want me? Every single person that I have ever worked for in the legal field has complimentary things to say about my work. I know I'm good at what I do--I'm just not very good at interviewing.
Ok, ok, I'll stop the pity party.
7/5/09
I feel like a jerk
I was awakened last Tuesday night by flashing lights outside my window. They were from an ambulance in front of my elderly neighbors' home. As I was contemplating whether to go offer assistance, an EMT got in the rig and left. I never saw them load anybody into the ambulance and there were no lights or sirens and no apparent hurry. I assumed it had been a "false alarm."
I considered visiting my neighbors the next day, but I have only met them a couple of time and I didn't want to be the nosy neighbor. But I happened to be in my kids fort yesterday when she arrived home, and said, "Hi!" over the back fence. My neighbor told us that her husband had passed away the night we saw the ambulance.
I just feel terrible for not checking in on her. He had been in poor health, but his death was sudden and unexpected at that moment.
The services are tomorrow, a couple of hundred miles from here. (They moved in only about a year ago.) She mentioned that several out-of-town relatives were coming.
Now I'm scrambling to prepare some food to take over. It is so hot here that traditional comfort food just sounds too heavy. I'm thinking chicken salad with sandwich makings and a fruit plate. And maybe some kind of breakfast bread.
I wish there was more I could do now--but we did give her all of our contact numbers and told us to call if she needed anything at all.
I considered visiting my neighbors the next day, but I have only met them a couple of time and I didn't want to be the nosy neighbor. But I happened to be in my kids fort yesterday when she arrived home, and said, "Hi!" over the back fence. My neighbor told us that her husband had passed away the night we saw the ambulance.
I just feel terrible for not checking in on her. He had been in poor health, but his death was sudden and unexpected at that moment.
The services are tomorrow, a couple of hundred miles from here. (They moved in only about a year ago.) She mentioned that several out-of-town relatives were coming.
Now I'm scrambling to prepare some food to take over. It is so hot here that traditional comfort food just sounds too heavy. I'm thinking chicken salad with sandwich makings and a fruit plate. And maybe some kind of breakfast bread.
I wish there was more I could do now--but we did give her all of our contact numbers and told us to call if she needed anything at all.
7/3/09
A little advice
Do not shout to whatever random deity may be listening, "Can you please throw a little more shit at me? Please?" Because, the answer is "Yes." It can always get worse.
DH and I hopped in the car today to run an errand. About 30 seconds after we pulled out of the driveway, the A/C stopped blowing cold air. It wasn't even blowing lukewarm air. It was blowing HOT air.
At about the same time, the thermometer on our patio was reading 110.
Of course, this happened at about 4:30--when no repair shop in the world was willing to take us. So we will be A/C-free until at least Monday.
And I have an interview on Monday. There is no way in hell I can drive 25 miles to an interview without A/C when it is 100+ outside. It would not be a pretty picture once I arrived. Fortunately, the interview is just with a recruiter, so I have emailed to see if we can reschedule for later in the week.
The rest of the day was pretty good. We hung with the kids all day and then went to see fireworks. (Where we were rained on by soot and bits of shell the entire time--I think the random deity is still punishing me. But the show was great.)
DH and I hopped in the car today to run an errand. About 30 seconds after we pulled out of the driveway, the A/C stopped blowing cold air. It wasn't even blowing lukewarm air. It was blowing HOT air.
At about the same time, the thermometer on our patio was reading 110.
Of course, this happened at about 4:30--when no repair shop in the world was willing to take us. So we will be A/C-free until at least Monday.
And I have an interview on Monday. There is no way in hell I can drive 25 miles to an interview without A/C when it is 100+ outside. It would not be a pretty picture once I arrived. Fortunately, the interview is just with a recruiter, so I have emailed to see if we can reschedule for later in the week.
The rest of the day was pretty good. We hung with the kids all day and then went to see fireworks. (Where we were rained on by soot and bits of shell the entire time--I think the random deity is still punishing me. But the show was great.)
7/2/09
Ugh!
I just received a phone call from my former secretary--at 5:15 on the eve of a 3-day weekend. I assumed it was DH calling, or I probably would have let it go to voicemail.
She said that I had received a magazine from an industry organization that my firm had signed me up with, and wanted to know if she should forward it to me.
I've been gone for more than 6 weeks, and have presumably received numerous mailings in that time, but suddenly she wants to know if I want my junk mail forwarded? She beat around the, "so what have you been up to?" bush a couple of times, and I gave intentionally vague answers. But she eventually came right out and asked whether I was working.
I am almost certain that someone told her to call to find out my status. I think that it might have been a result of my cashing out my 401K this week (my seed money if I go solo.) The plan administrator--who is the office manager, would have to sign off, and would therefore be alerted to what I was doing.
Maybe they think I'm destitute and feel bad for treating me like shit. Maybe they are up to their eyeballs in work, since two more associates have quit since I did, and think there is some chance in hell that I would go back there. Maybe they are just being nosy.
Regardless, whether or not I am working is none of their f'ing business, and they really shouldn't have sent my former secretary in to do their dirty work. At the very least, they should have come up with better cover for their phone call--like a question about a case I was working on. But to call about junk mail--really???
Do I sound like a paranoid crazy person?
She said that I had received a magazine from an industry organization that my firm had signed me up with, and wanted to know if she should forward it to me.
I've been gone for more than 6 weeks, and have presumably received numerous mailings in that time, but suddenly she wants to know if I want my junk mail forwarded? She beat around the, "so what have you been up to?" bush a couple of times, and I gave intentionally vague answers. But she eventually came right out and asked whether I was working.
I am almost certain that someone told her to call to find out my status. I think that it might have been a result of my cashing out my 401K this week (my seed money if I go solo.) The plan administrator--who is the office manager, would have to sign off, and would therefore be alerted to what I was doing.
Maybe they think I'm destitute and feel bad for treating me like shit. Maybe they are up to their eyeballs in work, since two more associates have quit since I did, and think there is some chance in hell that I would go back there. Maybe they are just being nosy.
Regardless, whether or not I am working is none of their f'ing business, and they really shouldn't have sent my former secretary in to do their dirty work. At the very least, they should have come up with better cover for their phone call--like a question about a case I was working on. But to call about junk mail--really???
Do I sound like a paranoid crazy person?
7/1/09
Stupid Mom Move
I told the twins to let the guinea pig run around in SS's room while PS cleaned out her cage. We have a little carrier, but the poor creature spends her whole life in a cage, and I though she might like the chance to roam a bit. (She is more timid and apt to scratch than our previous guinea pig-maysherestinpeace-so the kids don't play with her as much.)
The only way she could get into trouble in SS's room is if she got under the bed--a daybed with a trundle. So I told the kids, "block off the front of the bed and make sure she doesn't get under there."
Just because I can foresee the future doesn't mean I can prevent it. Five minutes later I hear, "Mo-oooomm! Stephany's under the bed." (I hate "Mo-oooommm!" Nothing good ever follows "Mo-oooomm." If I'm lucky, it's just whining or tattling. If I'm not so lucky bodily fluids or animal carcasses are involved.)
Of course she is. And we can't see her because of the trundle. And I'm afraid we'll squish her if we try to move the trundle.
So the kids are on guinea pig watch, locked in SS's room and hoping Stephany makes an appearance soon. I don't think she's coming out--this is the most nervous animal I have ever seen. But hopefully she'll get hungry soon. She does love to eat, and is almost as big as a cat.
The only way she could get into trouble in SS's room is if she got under the bed--a daybed with a trundle. So I told the kids, "block off the front of the bed and make sure she doesn't get under there."
Just because I can foresee the future doesn't mean I can prevent it. Five minutes later I hear, "Mo-oooomm! Stephany's under the bed." (I hate "Mo-oooommm!" Nothing good ever follows "Mo-oooomm." If I'm lucky, it's just whining or tattling. If I'm not so lucky bodily fluids or animal carcasses are involved.)
Of course she is. And we can't see her because of the trundle. And I'm afraid we'll squish her if we try to move the trundle.
So the kids are on guinea pig watch, locked in SS's room and hoping Stephany makes an appearance soon. I don't think she's coming out--this is the most nervous animal I have ever seen. But hopefully she'll get hungry soon. She does love to eat, and is almost as big as a cat.
6/30/09
Weird Facebook Friend
So a handful of my Facebook friends are people that I went to high school with that I don't really remember. I'm sure that we went to high school together, but we didn't hang out together and I have only a vague recollection of them.
Once such person, we'll call her Sue, friended DH shortly after she friended me. DH did not know her at all! (I transferred to a new HS at the beginning of my junior year. DH went to second HS, this friend is from 1st HS.) She sent DH a message that said something like, "Hi, I know that you don't know me, but I'm a friend of LC.'s and I wanted to add you as a friend."
We both thought it a little strange, but she seemed harmless enough, so he added her.
Anyway, today is my aunt's birthday. The first thing on my wall is happy birthday wishes to my aunt. And Sue is one of the well-wishers! There is no way on earth that she could know my aunt. My aunt moved from Hometown to another state when I was a kid. I haven't seen her in at least 15 years!!
How freaky is this? Now I wonder if Sue is contacting all of my friends--which truly horrifies me! I checked her friends list, but we only have one other mutual friend who did not go to 1st HS. So maybe not--or maybe everybody else just decided she's a kook and didn't friend her.
Once such person, we'll call her Sue, friended DH shortly after she friended me. DH did not know her at all! (I transferred to a new HS at the beginning of my junior year. DH went to second HS, this friend is from 1st HS.) She sent DH a message that said something like, "Hi, I know that you don't know me, but I'm a friend of LC.'s and I wanted to add you as a friend."
We both thought it a little strange, but she seemed harmless enough, so he added her.
Anyway, today is my aunt's birthday. The first thing on my wall is happy birthday wishes to my aunt. And Sue is one of the well-wishers! There is no way on earth that she could know my aunt. My aunt moved from Hometown to another state when I was a kid. I haven't seen her in at least 15 years!!
How freaky is this? Now I wonder if Sue is contacting all of my friends--which truly horrifies me! I checked her friends list, but we only have one other mutual friend who did not go to 1st HS. So maybe not--or maybe everybody else just decided she's a kook and didn't friend her.
6/29/09
I have a case!
LegalAid finally called me back today, and I agreed to take on a pro bono case. I am excited and freaked out at the same time.
It's a divorce case, and one that could turn nasty. I do not practice family law--although it is a direction I would have to take if I end up going solo. I did work for a family law solo for a short time in law school, so I have drafted divorce petitions, decrees, TRO's and custody modifications, but I've never argued a TRO hearing or done a divorce prove-up. (And I interned in the county where the petition would be filed and saw the judge there throw out more than one pro se petitioner who screwed up their prove-up hearing.)
But I am jumping in with few resources. I no longer have access to internet research or forms manuals. I'm not that worried about the research--I have a cited code book and family law doesn't change that much. But I don't have a forms manual and didn't keep copies of the documents that I drafted as a clerk. I'm sure I can come up with the forms, but I no longer have the luxury of downloading them from my firm's network or library.
Also, it just occurred to me that I have to sign pleading with an actual address. I am almost certain that a P.O. box will not do under the rules in my state. Umm, I don't have an office. And I REALLY don't want o put my home address on pleadings--especially a nasty divorce case.
It's a divorce case, and one that could turn nasty. I do not practice family law--although it is a direction I would have to take if I end up going solo. I did work for a family law solo for a short time in law school, so I have drafted divorce petitions, decrees, TRO's and custody modifications, but I've never argued a TRO hearing or done a divorce prove-up. (And I interned in the county where the petition would be filed and saw the judge there throw out more than one pro se petitioner who screwed up their prove-up hearing.)
But I am jumping in with few resources. I no longer have access to internet research or forms manuals. I'm not that worried about the research--I have a cited code book and family law doesn't change that much. But I don't have a forms manual and didn't keep copies of the documents that I drafted as a clerk. I'm sure I can come up with the forms, but I no longer have the luxury of downloading them from my firm's network or library.
Also, it just occurred to me that I have to sign pleading with an actual address. I am almost certain that a P.O. box will not do under the rules in my state. Umm, I don't have an office. And I REALLY don't want o put my home address on pleadings--especially a nasty divorce case.
The Evil Force
At some point in the middle of the night last night I moved from my bed to the couch. I kept having bad dreams and would wake sitting upright and trying to figure out what was happening. I can't really describe what the dreams were about--but I had this sense of something closing in on me, sort of encapsulating me.
The last one before I moved was the worst. And I had the sense that were was some kind of Evil Force next to me that was out to get me. So I hightailed it out of there.
Of course, this morning DH wanted to know what happened to me. And he was none to happy to realize that he was the Evil Force. I think he is wondering what kind of subconscious animosity I hold for him.
I told him that I can't be responsible for what I do in my sleep. Kind of like the time I yanked the pillow out from under his head in the middle of the night and started beating him with it. (Yes, it really happened, and yes, I was really asleep.) He's just lucky I didn't try to attack the Evil Force with something harder than a pillow.
Anyway, the dreams continued through the night. Stress has a tendency to manifest itself in my dreams, but last night was the worst. (This happened nightly the entire time I was studying for the bar, but hasn't been a real problem since then.)
Now, I think I need to go take a nap to recover from my sleepless night.
The last one before I moved was the worst. And I had the sense that were was some kind of Evil Force next to me that was out to get me. So I hightailed it out of there.
Of course, this morning DH wanted to know what happened to me. And he was none to happy to realize that he was the Evil Force. I think he is wondering what kind of subconscious animosity I hold for him.
I told him that I can't be responsible for what I do in my sleep. Kind of like the time I yanked the pillow out from under his head in the middle of the night and started beating him with it. (Yes, it really happened, and yes, I was really asleep.) He's just lucky I didn't try to attack the Evil Force with something harder than a pillow.
Anyway, the dreams continued through the night. Stress has a tendency to manifest itself in my dreams, but last night was the worst. (This happened nightly the entire time I was studying for the bar, but hasn't been a real problem since then.)
Now, I think I need to go take a nap to recover from my sleepless night.
6/26/09
Grumble, Grumble
I just received an email from Conservative Firm that they do not intend to conduct call back interviews for another 3 weeks!
On the one hand, I take it as a good sign that they bothered to tell me this. On the other hand, I need to start working. My psyche needs to start working, and my bank account needs me to start working.
I really like Conservative Firm, but if by some miracle another offer comes through before they are prepared to make a move, I am going to have to take it.
On the one hand, I take it as a good sign that they bothered to tell me this. On the other hand, I need to start working. My psyche needs to start working, and my bank account needs me to start working.
I really like Conservative Firm, but if by some miracle another offer comes through before they are prepared to make a move, I am going to have to take it.
The most interesting interview to date
Today I had an interview at a firm 60 miles from home. Their offices are in a turn-of-the-century house that they have fully restored. It was just gorgeous--beautifully restored and beautifully decorated.
They obviously observe casual Friday, as all of the staff and the first partner (Partner A) whom I met were wearing jeans. Then Partner B walked in--wearing flip-flops and cargo shorts, long red hair, and a silver skull ring.
They asked why I left my old firm and I gave my pat answer, "I was offered a position at another law firm, after I accepted and offered notice a conflict was discovered that was not waived."
Partner B said, "What Assholes!"
They asked what I wanted and I said, "Well I really enjoy practicing law and I like what I have been doing. I have worked on some high-quality cases and have been given increasing responsibility. I would like to continue with that--to take on additional responsibility, more complex depositions, more time in court and to go to trial eventually. Ultimately I'd like to build a book of business and make partner."
Partner B said, "I don't want to hear all that 'I love the law' bullshit. I want to hear that you want to make money."
Partner A said, "I think that's what she said."
They also warned me that they are very casual, like to joke around, (and yell and curse) and someone who is easily offended would not fit in.
Overall, I think the interview went well (except for the "I love the law" bullshit). I think they liked the answers that I gave, but they may have reservations because I live so far away. They also asked what I was earning before, and I'm not sure they are prepared to match it, as they are a much smaller firm.
I think I would really enjoy working there, but for the horrendous commute. They do a wide variety of defense litigation, and I really prefer to have a variety. I think it would be terrific experience at this stage in my career.
So this firm was really the complete opposite of the firm I interviewed with on Wednesday, but I am really drawn to both firms. Fingers crossed that one or the other works out. At this point, my emotional need to work is becoming greater than my financial need to work (which is no small need.)
They obviously observe casual Friday, as all of the staff and the first partner (Partner A) whom I met were wearing jeans. Then Partner B walked in--wearing flip-flops and cargo shorts, long red hair, and a silver skull ring.
They asked why I left my old firm and I gave my pat answer, "I was offered a position at another law firm, after I accepted and offered notice a conflict was discovered that was not waived."
Partner B said, "What Assholes!"
They asked what I wanted and I said, "Well I really enjoy practicing law and I like what I have been doing. I have worked on some high-quality cases and have been given increasing responsibility. I would like to continue with that--to take on additional responsibility, more complex depositions, more time in court and to go to trial eventually. Ultimately I'd like to build a book of business and make partner."
Partner B said, "I don't want to hear all that 'I love the law' bullshit. I want to hear that you want to make money."
Partner A said, "I think that's what she said."
They also warned me that they are very casual, like to joke around, (and yell and curse) and someone who is easily offended would not fit in.
Overall, I think the interview went well (except for the "I love the law" bullshit). I think they liked the answers that I gave, but they may have reservations because I live so far away. They also asked what I was earning before, and I'm not sure they are prepared to match it, as they are a much smaller firm.
I think I would really enjoy working there, but for the horrendous commute. They do a wide variety of defense litigation, and I really prefer to have a variety. I think it would be terrific experience at this stage in my career.
So this firm was really the complete opposite of the firm I interviewed with on Wednesday, but I am really drawn to both firms. Fingers crossed that one or the other works out. At this point, my emotional need to work is becoming greater than my financial need to work (which is no small need.)
6/24/09
Interview
I was pretty apathetic going into today's interview. I am tired of being rejected, and I wasn't sure how interested they would be in me because I have virtually no exposure to the type of law that they practice.
But it went much better than I anticipated, and now I'm afraid I have my hopes up once again.
The female attorney with whom I had been in contact was conducting initial interviews. It seemed to go ok, but I am a terrible judge. She asked for my expected salary. I threw out my previously decided upon number (which I was willing to compromise) and she said, "That's much too low. I'm going to put down [much higher number] as your minimum expected salary." My new minimum expected salary is almost $20K more than I was previously earning.
Then she said, "I know I only scheduled you for one interview, but I know that I will be calling you back, so if you have time, I'd really like to see if one of our partners can meet with you right now."
Okey dokey, no problem on my end.
Partner was preparing for a trial on Monday, but spent about an hour speaking to me. I think it went pretty well.
I am much, much more interested in the firm now, and not just because of the substantial salary increase. I would be second chairing the cases on which I was assigned--and second chairs get a lot of responsibility. It would be great experience.
The negatives (which aren't really that negative): The firm is very conservative. No business casual, which means I would have to add a few more suits to my wardrobe. I even stopped on the way home to buy Crane notecards so that I could handwrite follow-up notes. These days I generally just send an email follow up.
And they use Macs. I have never even heard of a law firm that uses Macs, and I haven't touched one since high school. I'm sure I can pick it up, but I wonder how much trouble it is sending and receiving documents. We had issues at my old firm because we used WordPerfect instead of Word.
But it went much better than I anticipated, and now I'm afraid I have my hopes up once again.
The female attorney with whom I had been in contact was conducting initial interviews. It seemed to go ok, but I am a terrible judge. She asked for my expected salary. I threw out my previously decided upon number (which I was willing to compromise) and she said, "That's much too low. I'm going to put down [much higher number] as your minimum expected salary." My new minimum expected salary is almost $20K more than I was previously earning.
Then she said, "I know I only scheduled you for one interview, but I know that I will be calling you back, so if you have time, I'd really like to see if one of our partners can meet with you right now."
Okey dokey, no problem on my end.
Partner was preparing for a trial on Monday, but spent about an hour speaking to me. I think it went pretty well.
I am much, much more interested in the firm now, and not just because of the substantial salary increase. I would be second chairing the cases on which I was assigned--and second chairs get a lot of responsibility. It would be great experience.
The negatives (which aren't really that negative): The firm is very conservative. No business casual, which means I would have to add a few more suits to my wardrobe. I even stopped on the way home to buy Crane notecards so that I could handwrite follow-up notes. These days I generally just send an email follow up.
And they use Macs. I have never even heard of a law firm that uses Macs, and I haven't touched one since high school. I'm sure I can pick it up, but I wonder how much trouble it is sending and receiving documents. We had issues at my old firm because we used WordPerfect instead of Word.
6/23/09
Today ...
- I applied for at least 5 jobs. One was a temporary position at a firm with an office dog. I like the idea of an office dog.
- I took PS to the library for a workshop on making flip-flops out of duct tape. (Don't ask me-but it was so popular that not all of the kids who showed up could participate.)
- I made friends with an adorable little girl of about 15 months who kept coming over to me, putting her hand on my knee, and jabbering away. Her mom would haul her away and a minute later she would be back.
- I yelled at random kids for running in the library. I'm not big on calling out other people's kids--but one of them used to be one of my girl scouts and I know her mom would have been mortified by her behavior.
- I got a call for another interview on Friday. The firm sounds great--but it is 60 miles away. 60 miles of city traffic.
- I met a former coworker for dinner, who was fired the week before I left. It's nice to have a fellow unemployed lawyer to bitch to--especially one who truly understands what an asshole our former boss was.
- I went to Half-Price Books all by myself. The kid-free time was nice. Didn't buy anything because I am already reading 5 books simultaneously. (East of Eden; Love in the Time of Cholera; Standing Under the Rainbow (Fannis Flagg-not as good as her other stuff); The Diary of Anne Frank (to recall whether it is ok for PS); and a chick lit book by Jane Green, the title of which I cannot recall, but probably isn't worth finishing. I am trying to build up my library in case I decide to go solo, and sometimes I can find code books for a steal. (I got a 2009 code book on ebay for $15 last week--would have cost at least $100 new.)
- I went to the grocery store. I think the butcher was flirting with me.
6/22/09
Another day another hill to climb
I think the hardest part about job hunting is the roller coaster emotional toll. Initially I was rolling uphill--I was leaving old firm, but I had several interviews lined up and I convinced myself that my unemployment would be short lived. I eventually hit the peak and plummeted downward when none of those interviews transformed into jobs.
Every time I find a job to apply for, I feel a tiny glimmer of hope and start climbing uphill. When I receive no response, I roll downhill again--but at least I haven't ascended as far before the fall.
But when I receive an interview, my hope climbs quickly and steeply and the fall is much faster and scarier when I am rejected.
Or nothing at all happens, and I just circle over an over with the tiny bumps like the kiddie-coaster at the county fair.
I'm not sure which is worse--the constant up and down or the boring endless circle. But I am tired of being unemployed. I like working. And I am a better mom when I don't spend 24/7 with my kids. My temper and patience are both running short these days.
I have an interview on Wednesday. It is still litigation, but an area that I don't have much experience in. I guess we'll see what happens, but I don't look forward to the emotional downfall following another rejection.
Every time I find a job to apply for, I feel a tiny glimmer of hope and start climbing uphill. When I receive no response, I roll downhill again--but at least I haven't ascended as far before the fall.
But when I receive an interview, my hope climbs quickly and steeply and the fall is much faster and scarier when I am rejected.
Or nothing at all happens, and I just circle over an over with the tiny bumps like the kiddie-coaster at the county fair.
I'm not sure which is worse--the constant up and down or the boring endless circle. But I am tired of being unemployed. I like working. And I am a better mom when I don't spend 24/7 with my kids. My temper and patience are both running short these days.
I have an interview on Wednesday. It is still litigation, but an area that I don't have much experience in. I guess we'll see what happens, but I don't look forward to the emotional downfall following another rejection.
6/18/09
"Don't be such a pu$$y!"
That's what one of my twins told the other when she started freaking out about a bug. Being the fabulous mom that I am, I burst out laughing.
"Wha-at?" said SS.
"Sweetie, do you know that is not a nice word?"
"What do you mean--it's just another word for kitty?"
By this point SS is obviously embarrassed and realizes that she unintentionally said something that she shouldn't.
"Well, it is a bad word, too. And if you said that to someone at school, you would get in trouble. I know you didn't know any better, but please don't call your sister a pu$$y anymore."
SS then goes and hides behind a chair.
I thought they at least recognized most of the bad words by now--but I guess that one's not part of my lexicon so they must have though it was ok (I've said before that my biggest failing as a mother is my potty mouth).
Not much happening on the job front. I haven't heard anything from the several jobs that I applied for last week, and there hasn't been anything to apply for this week. I am more seriously contemplating going solo--researching costs to get a realistic picture of what I would be getting myself into. Honestly, it scares the shit out of me . . . but at the same time I feel like karma is pushing me in that direction.
I emailed the volunteer att'y program a couple of days ago, but haven't heard anything yet. Guess they don't need volunteers too badly. Perhaps they are overwhelmed by laid off BigLawyers.
The weight watching and working out is going ok. I have nothing better to do than count calories right now--and at least it gives me control over some part of my life. Took the girls to a local farm to pick blackberries and buy produce yesterday, so we are now well stocked with healthy stuff.
"Wha-at?" said SS.
"Sweetie, do you know that is not a nice word?"
"What do you mean--it's just another word for kitty?"
By this point SS is obviously embarrassed and realizes that she unintentionally said something that she shouldn't.
"Well, it is a bad word, too. And if you said that to someone at school, you would get in trouble. I know you didn't know any better, but please don't call your sister a pu$$y anymore."
SS then goes and hides behind a chair.
I thought they at least recognized most of the bad words by now--but I guess that one's not part of my lexicon so they must have though it was ok (I've said before that my biggest failing as a mother is my potty mouth).
Not much happening on the job front. I haven't heard anything from the several jobs that I applied for last week, and there hasn't been anything to apply for this week. I am more seriously contemplating going solo--researching costs to get a realistic picture of what I would be getting myself into. Honestly, it scares the shit out of me . . . but at the same time I feel like karma is pushing me in that direction.
I emailed the volunteer att'y program a couple of days ago, but haven't heard anything yet. Guess they don't need volunteers too badly. Perhaps they are overwhelmed by laid off BigLawyers.
The weight watching and working out is going ok. I have nothing better to do than count calories right now--and at least it gives me control over some part of my life. Took the girls to a local farm to pick blackberries and buy produce yesterday, so we are now well stocked with healthy stuff.
6/15/09
8 pounds
No, not the sequel to the Will Smith movie. That's how much I have gained during my one moth of unemployment. (BTW, today is my 1 month unemployedaversary--yea for me.)
Apparently I should have been following gudnuff's workout advice. It's not hard to figure out the source of these 8 pounds. I have been baking like a mad woman to fill all the extra time. And cooking elaborate (and fattening) meals for my family. And when I'm home I snack. I rarely snacked at work--if I did I went for the almonds or dried cranberries that I kept in my desk drawer for a late afternoon pick-me-up (or dinner, as the case sometimes was.) No homemade cookies or Peanut Butter Crunch lying around.
So I have joined fat secret which tracks my calories and weight watchers points. (I have never actually joined weight watchers, but have gleaned enough information online to basically follow their point system.)
And then I signed up for a challenge, which is a running program outlined by Women's Health.
So far today I am off to a good start. I had an egg white omelet for breakfast and ran on the treadmill. We'll see how the rest of the day goes--I'm not really stocked with low fat foods right now. I've been too busy buying real butter and cream and chocolate chips.
I'm not too concerned about the 8 pounds. My weight tends to hover at about [yeah, like I'm gonna tell you], and I think I can return if I just knock off the baking. But it would be nice to lose the extra 15 pounds or so that I have been carrying around since I stopped breastfeeding the twins. (Yes, I lost all of my baby weight instantly, both times. With the twins I weighed less a week after I delivered than I did before I got pregnant. But once I stopped breastfeeding I gained 15 pounds--what the heck is that about??? I guess I was used to eating for 3 and never stopped.)
Meanwhile, I need a job, I need a job, I need a job. I miss working. I think I will call the volunteer attorney program today to see what I can do to help out.
Apparently I should have been following gudnuff's workout advice. It's not hard to figure out the source of these 8 pounds. I have been baking like a mad woman to fill all the extra time. And cooking elaborate (and fattening) meals for my family. And when I'm home I snack. I rarely snacked at work--if I did I went for the almonds or dried cranberries that I kept in my desk drawer for a late afternoon pick-me-up (or dinner, as the case sometimes was.) No homemade cookies or Peanut Butter Crunch lying around.
So I have joined fat secret which tracks my calories and weight watchers points. (I have never actually joined weight watchers, but have gleaned enough information online to basically follow their point system.)
And then I signed up for a challenge, which is a running program outlined by Women's Health.
So far today I am off to a good start. I had an egg white omelet for breakfast and ran on the treadmill. We'll see how the rest of the day goes--I'm not really stocked with low fat foods right now. I've been too busy buying real butter and cream and chocolate chips.
I'm not too concerned about the 8 pounds. My weight tends to hover at about [yeah, like I'm gonna tell you], and I think I can return if I just knock off the baking. But it would be nice to lose the extra 15 pounds or so that I have been carrying around since I stopped breastfeeding the twins. (Yes, I lost all of my baby weight instantly, both times. With the twins I weighed less a week after I delivered than I did before I got pregnant. But once I stopped breastfeeding I gained 15 pounds--what the heck is that about??? I guess I was used to eating for 3 and never stopped.)
Meanwhile, I need a job, I need a job, I need a job. I miss working. I think I will call the volunteer attorney program today to see what I can do to help out.
6/12/09
Inlaws
I love my inlaws--I really do. But I though I might strangle my FIL this weekend.
DH and I made an impromptu road trip Friday afternoon to help out FIL because MIL, who had been receiving outpatient treatments at a cancer center 700 miles from their home, was admitted for inpatient care.
When we arrived in town we headed straight for the hospital, and called FIL for the specific address and to inquire where to park (on an enormous campus). He insisted on meeting us outside so that he could hop in the car and direct us where to park, instead of just telling us which lot was nearest.
So I am stuck driving up and down the the street while FIL is on the phone with DH saying "what street are you on now? are you driving toward the sun or away from the sun? nope, nope turn around, you've passed it." Yeah, we passed it because we were looking for you on the side of the road.
So we picked up FIL and he led us to the lot across the street. (Because he couldn't have told us that on the phone?) "Ok, now you push the button and a ticket comes out. You have to pay to park here." (Me, gritting teeth, not saying anything.)
"Ok, now, turn right, now turn left, now turn right." (Because there aren't giant arrows telling me which way to turn within the parking garage.)
"Ok, there, there's an open spot, park there." (Because I wasn't already planning to park there.)
Finally, finally we unload and head toward the hospital. "Ok, now you have to keep that ticket and feed it into a machine to pay when you leave."
I just kept on nodding. "I guess maybe you've done this before, huh?" To which I replied "oh, maybe a time or two." Because it's not like I live and work(ed) in a big city where I park(ed) in a parking garage every single day, and had to pay to park every time I visited another lawyer's office or airport.
I know FIL was just trying to be helpful, and I feel a little guilty for being so cranky about it. But he doesn't seem to recognize that his kids are now adults who function every day in an environment very similar to the one in which he has suddenly and unwillingly been thrust. (To be fair, the inlaws were born and raised in a smallish city, rarely travel, refuse to pay for cable, and only got a cell phone a few weeks ago because of the travels related to MIL's illness.)
We have all the necessary modern accouterments to find our way in an unfamiliar big city, and we've parked in a pay garage, navigated our way across a business complex, and visited unfamiliar cities before.
I swear, I don't know how he thinks we've managed to secure a mortgage, raise three kids, obtain graduate degrees and go to work without step-by-step instructions.
DH and I made an impromptu road trip Friday afternoon to help out FIL because MIL, who had been receiving outpatient treatments at a cancer center 700 miles from their home, was admitted for inpatient care.
When we arrived in town we headed straight for the hospital, and called FIL for the specific address and to inquire where to park (on an enormous campus). He insisted on meeting us outside so that he could hop in the car and direct us where to park, instead of just telling us which lot was nearest.
So I am stuck driving up and down the the street while FIL is on the phone with DH saying "what street are you on now? are you driving toward the sun or away from the sun? nope, nope turn around, you've passed it." Yeah, we passed it because we were looking for you on the side of the road.
So we picked up FIL and he led us to the lot across the street. (Because he couldn't have told us that on the phone?) "Ok, now you push the button and a ticket comes out. You have to pay to park here." (Me, gritting teeth, not saying anything.)
"Ok, now, turn right, now turn left, now turn right." (Because there aren't giant arrows telling me which way to turn within the parking garage.)
"Ok, there, there's an open spot, park there." (Because I wasn't already planning to park there.)
Finally, finally we unload and head toward the hospital. "Ok, now you have to keep that ticket and feed it into a machine to pay when you leave."
I just kept on nodding. "I guess maybe you've done this before, huh?" To which I replied "oh, maybe a time or two." Because it's not like I live and work(ed) in a big city where I park(ed) in a parking garage every single day, and had to pay to park every time I visited another lawyer's office or airport.
I know FIL was just trying to be helpful, and I feel a little guilty for being so cranky about it. But he doesn't seem to recognize that his kids are now adults who function every day in an environment very similar to the one in which he has suddenly and unwillingly been thrust. (To be fair, the inlaws were born and raised in a smallish city, rarely travel, refuse to pay for cable, and only got a cell phone a few weeks ago because of the travels related to MIL's illness.)
We have all the necessary modern accouterments to find our way in an unfamiliar big city, and we've parked in a pay garage, navigated our way across a business complex, and visited unfamiliar cities before.
I swear, I don't know how he thinks we've managed to secure a mortgage, raise three kids, obtain graduate degrees and go to work without step-by-step instructions.
6/11/09
LC Unveiled
'Cause I know you've been dying to know what I look like. (I love it when I get sneak peeks at the bloggers that I follow.) DH found this app and has been making Obamicons of the entire family. PS picked out the caption.On the job front, I have been much more relaxed since the girlies have been out of school. Frankly, the cost of summer child care is so astronomical that the financial impact of my unemployment is greatly reduced while the kids are out of school.
And the kids keep me busy, so there is not so much wallowing. Although I did feel like my brain was rotting at one point this afternoon while at the library summer program watching a 50-year old woman dressed like a cowgirl singing and riding a stick pony. I thought to myself, "a month ago I was drafting an MSJ to dispose of a multi-million-dollar lawsuit in federal court, and now I am reduced to this." But for the most part, I've enjoyed hanging with the girls.
That's not to say that I am not still job hunting. I check all of my various job boards every day and apply for everything that I am even remotely qualified for. But I haven't blasted my resume, yet. And I should probably contact a few more recruiters.
6/10/09
Kid Funnies
To make up for my downer post yesterday, here are comments from random children I have encountered lately.
My little monkey girl, SS, got a little carried away climbing a tree at a park and got stuck about 10 feet of the ground. I eventually went to rescue her, but she was well above my head and I had to coax her to back her way down the tree.
A little boy watching said, "My mom said I can't climb trees."
"Well, you're mom sounds smarter than me right about now."
"She only went to the 9th grade. Did you stop going to school in the 9th grade too?" I'm sure his mom was thrilled by his over sharing.
A couple of weeks ago I was in Costco behind a woman and an adorable little girl who was about 4. I'm minding my own business, when the little girls pipes up, "We're Muslim. That means we can't eat pork and my mommy has to wear a head scarf."
"Really, that's very interesting." I replied. Then she continued to educate me about her faith and question me about my shopping cart. By the time her mother finished checking out, we were like old friends.
And then today the girls went to work with DH for "take your kid to work day." DH's office makes this a huge event, with each department sponsoring an activity for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids leave with huge bags full of loot and they get paid $5 for their work.
I asked SS what she thought about DH's office, and she said, "Daddy works in the mechanical room and doesn't get any sunshine."
DH is a web developer and his office is in the server room--but I can just imagine how a stranger would interpret this!
My little monkey girl, SS, got a little carried away climbing a tree at a park and got stuck about 10 feet of the ground. I eventually went to rescue her, but she was well above my head and I had to coax her to back her way down the tree.
A little boy watching said, "My mom said I can't climb trees."
"Well, you're mom sounds smarter than me right about now."
"She only went to the 9th grade. Did you stop going to school in the 9th grade too?" I'm sure his mom was thrilled by his over sharing.
A couple of weeks ago I was in Costco behind a woman and an adorable little girl who was about 4. I'm minding my own business, when the little girls pipes up, "We're Muslim. That means we can't eat pork and my mommy has to wear a head scarf."
"Really, that's very interesting." I replied. Then she continued to educate me about her faith and question me about my shopping cart. By the time her mother finished checking out, we were like old friends.
And then today the girls went to work with DH for "take your kid to work day." DH's office makes this a huge event, with each department sponsoring an activity for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids leave with huge bags full of loot and they get paid $5 for their work.
I asked SS what she thought about DH's office, and she said, "Daddy works in the mechanical room and doesn't get any sunshine."
DH is a web developer and his office is in the server room--but I can just imagine how a stranger would interpret this!
6/9/09
Sadness
DH attended the memorial service today for a teen who took his own life last week. I simply can't imagine a worse pain for a parent to endure.
This child was getting ready to go to college--on the cusp of a whole new life. But at that age, and in such a state of depression, I guess it is hard to have perspective for what is in front of you.
I went through some pretty serious bouts of depression when I was a teen. I wish that I had known then how fantastic my life would turn out. That I would finally escape the insane whims of my parents and their current spouses and have control over my life. That I would meet a fantastic guy and have a very normal and happy marriage. That having kids would be the best thing that ever happened to me (and I never wanted kids!) That I would put myself through school and go on to have a successful career (even with the current bump-in-the-road.)
I wish that my teenage self would have had the perspective to see that my unhappiness was a temporary situation arising from temporary circumstances. I wish all unhappy teens could see that. And how much the decision to take your own life impacts those around you--something that I don't think you can truly grasp until you are a parent.
I hope the parents of the child who killed himself can somehow survive this--I just don't know how you could ever start living again after such a tragedy.
This child was getting ready to go to college--on the cusp of a whole new life. But at that age, and in such a state of depression, I guess it is hard to have perspective for what is in front of you.
I went through some pretty serious bouts of depression when I was a teen. I wish that I had known then how fantastic my life would turn out. That I would finally escape the insane whims of my parents and their current spouses and have control over my life. That I would meet a fantastic guy and have a very normal and happy marriage. That having kids would be the best thing that ever happened to me (and I never wanted kids!) That I would put myself through school and go on to have a successful career (even with the current bump-in-the-road.)
I wish that my teenage self would have had the perspective to see that my unhappiness was a temporary situation arising from temporary circumstances. I wish all unhappy teens could see that. And how much the decision to take your own life impacts those around you--something that I don't think you can truly grasp until you are a parent.
I hope the parents of the child who killed himself can somehow survive this--I just don't know how you could ever start living again after such a tragedy.
6/8/09
Contemplations
So my little unplanned 3 week vacation has had me thinking. I really like spending more time with my kiddos, cooking real dinners for my family, not having to cram all of my errands and chores into the weekend. And the relief from the constant voice in my head saying I should be working more, working harder, doing something other than whatever I happen to be doing at the moment.
That's not to say I have any intention of voluntarily continuing my unemployed status on a permanent basis. First of all, I have done the SAHM thing before, and I was not happy. I like working. I like being a lawyer. Second, I don't really have a choice--when I was previously a SAHM I did not have a disgusting amount of law school debt which can only be paid if I am working.
But I am contemplating my options for better merging of my work and home life. In an ideal world, I'd work until 3:00 pm (except when in court or depos), and be done in time to pick the girls up from school, help with homework and make dinner. Of course, this is not an ideal world.
I really liked the type of law I was practicing--complex products cases with 6 to 8 figure exposure. I would like to continue doing this kind of work--but in an environment more conducive to maintaining a home life. (Some of the firms I interviewed with seemed to indicate that this is actually possible--but I don't necessarily believe everything I hear in an interview.)
Another option is to consider going solo. This could allow me to practice in my town--cutting out 2 hours of daily commuting, and allow more flexibility over my schedule. But there are so many cons.
I could not practice the kind of law that I have been--not even on the Plaintiff's side. Prosecuting products and PI cases takes money--money for experts, money for evidence collection and analysis, money for court costs. Any no money coming in until you settle or go to court. I simply have no means of backing those kinds of cases.
And then there is overhead. At a bare minimum Westlaw or Lexis access, malpractice insurance and advertising. Ideally, office space and a phone service. And about a million more expenses, large and small.
And I would be limited to small general practice cases and family law. I really don't want to do family law. I very briefly considered family law in school and worked for a family law attorney for a short time. I quickly weeded it out as a potential career option. Family law clients are needy. You have to be nice and understanding--a handholder. I am not nice. I liked the law I practiced because my clients were corporate--not emotionally invested individuals.
And I would be starting over--this isn't the kind of law that I have been practicing over the past two years. I know the basics, but there would be a lot to learn. And going solo means no database of old pleadings and motions to turn to when I have an issue that I have never addressed before (a nice benefit to working in a firm!)
So, I guess the choice is between continuing to do what I love and balancing it with my family--or going it alone where I have more control over the home/life balance but less control over the kind of law that I practice.
But this is not a choice that will be made today. For now I will continue the job search--as DH pointed out, it's only been 3 weeks. But if nothing pans out by the end of the summer, I may more seriously contemplate going solo.
That's not to say I have any intention of voluntarily continuing my unemployed status on a permanent basis. First of all, I have done the SAHM thing before, and I was not happy. I like working. I like being a lawyer. Second, I don't really have a choice--when I was previously a SAHM I did not have a disgusting amount of law school debt which can only be paid if I am working.
But I am contemplating my options for better merging of my work and home life. In an ideal world, I'd work until 3:00 pm (except when in court or depos), and be done in time to pick the girls up from school, help with homework and make dinner. Of course, this is not an ideal world.
I really liked the type of law I was practicing--complex products cases with 6 to 8 figure exposure. I would like to continue doing this kind of work--but in an environment more conducive to maintaining a home life. (Some of the firms I interviewed with seemed to indicate that this is actually possible--but I don't necessarily believe everything I hear in an interview.)
Another option is to consider going solo. This could allow me to practice in my town--cutting out 2 hours of daily commuting, and allow more flexibility over my schedule. But there are so many cons.
I could not practice the kind of law that I have been--not even on the Plaintiff's side. Prosecuting products and PI cases takes money--money for experts, money for evidence collection and analysis, money for court costs. Any no money coming in until you settle or go to court. I simply have no means of backing those kinds of cases.
And then there is overhead. At a bare minimum Westlaw or Lexis access, malpractice insurance and advertising. Ideally, office space and a phone service. And about a million more expenses, large and small.
And I would be limited to small general practice cases and family law. I really don't want to do family law. I very briefly considered family law in school and worked for a family law attorney for a short time. I quickly weeded it out as a potential career option. Family law clients are needy. You have to be nice and understanding--a handholder. I am not nice. I liked the law I practiced because my clients were corporate--not emotionally invested individuals.
And I would be starting over--this isn't the kind of law that I have been practicing over the past two years. I know the basics, but there would be a lot to learn. And going solo means no database of old pleadings and motions to turn to when I have an issue that I have never addressed before (a nice benefit to working in a firm!)
So, I guess the choice is between continuing to do what I love and balancing it with my family--or going it alone where I have more control over the home/life balance but less control over the kind of law that I practice.
But this is not a choice that will be made today. For now I will continue the job search--as DH pointed out, it's only been 3 weeks. But if nothing pans out by the end of the summer, I may more seriously contemplate going solo.
6/5/09
No more teachers . . .
Yesterday was the girls' last day of school. We did the awards ceremonies and then went out of ice cream. It's hard to believe that I now have a 6th grader and 2 3rd graders. I don't feel old enough to have a 6th grader--although my brother, who is 3 years younger, will have a high schooler next year!
PS still has friends over who spent the night--they are blessedly past the running around and screaming stage and you would never know that there are 5 kids in my house right now.
I have been far more productive the today and yesterday than I was the rest of the week. (Still not working out, gudnuff, but I did ask DH to look at the treadmill for me.) I applied for 2 jobs yesterday--which is more than I have the rest of the week combined. I cleaned the downstairs. (The reason I told PS she could have friends over was just so I would be motivated to clean!)
This morning I made monkey brains for breakfast, started a pot roast for dinner, filled out the paperwork to defer my student loans, and helped the twins fill up water balloons. As soon as I get rid of the extra kiddos we need to run errands and are heading to the library.
Oh yes, and lots of napping--I heart naps!
PS still has friends over who spent the night--they are blessedly past the running around and screaming stage and you would never know that there are 5 kids in my house right now.
I have been far more productive the today and yesterday than I was the rest of the week. (Still not working out, gudnuff, but I did ask DH to look at the treadmill for me.) I applied for 2 jobs yesterday--which is more than I have the rest of the week combined. I cleaned the downstairs. (The reason I told PS she could have friends over was just so I would be motivated to clean!)
This morning I made monkey brains for breakfast, started a pot roast for dinner, filled out the paperwork to defer my student loans, and helped the twins fill up water balloons. As soon as I get rid of the extra kiddos we need to run errands and are heading to the library.
Oh yes, and lots of napping--I heart naps!
6/3/09
Why yes, yes I have been wallowing
This week has been tough. No interviews and no prospects. Yesterday I got a rejection letter from a firm where I thought the interview went really well. I have worked just about every networking contact that I know of. I am beginning to sink into a deep muddy pit of depression. I was grossly unproductive both Monday and Tuesday.
Today I dragged myself to a bar association presentation directed at women. I met up with a couple of former coworkers, which was nice. They said that lots of people in the office had mentioned how much they missed me.
I was disappointed with the presentation. It was dubbed "Inspiring Women" and was a panel discussion by several prominent female lawyers. Their spiel was that they are all successful women lawyers who have overcome adversity and have found success. Which is certainly true--they are all successful and they all began practicing at a time when women lawyers were greatly outnumbered by men.
But they made it sound like their career path was all rainbows and butterflies. "Yes you can have it all. I raised two kids and I am the managing partner at BigLawFirm."
She didn't mention what it feel like when you have to miss putting your kids to bed 3 nights in a row. Or how the very last thing in the world that you want to do on a Saturday morning after working a 65 hour week is go to a 9:00 a.m. soccer game. Except for maybe going back to work after that soccer game. Or how to handle a boss who tries to turn you into a "special situation" when you complain about working 30% more hours than you agreed to and without additional compensation--just because you are a mom.
There was no substance to their discussions--no real picture of what it is like to balance a demanding career and a family.
But I got a great piece of chocolate cake and a CLE credit, so it wasn't all for nothing.
On my way home I stopped by Target for necessaries, but ended up splurging on a vintage-look $10 t-shirt that says, "Will work for shoes" with Dorothy's ruby slippers splashed across the front. (I wanted to post a pic, but can't find the same shirt anywhere online--and my shirt is waaayyy cuter than any of the ones my google search came up with.) I don't usually buy (or even look at) Target clothes, because I don't think they hold up well, but this one fit my situation so perfectly that I couldn't resist.
Today I dragged myself to a bar association presentation directed at women. I met up with a couple of former coworkers, which was nice. They said that lots of people in the office had mentioned how much they missed me.
I was disappointed with the presentation. It was dubbed "Inspiring Women" and was a panel discussion by several prominent female lawyers. Their spiel was that they are all successful women lawyers who have overcome adversity and have found success. Which is certainly true--they are all successful and they all began practicing at a time when women lawyers were greatly outnumbered by men.
But they made it sound like their career path was all rainbows and butterflies. "Yes you can have it all. I raised two kids and I am the managing partner at BigLawFirm."
She didn't mention what it feel like when you have to miss putting your kids to bed 3 nights in a row. Or how the very last thing in the world that you want to do on a Saturday morning after working a 65 hour week is go to a 9:00 a.m. soccer game. Except for maybe going back to work after that soccer game. Or how to handle a boss who tries to turn you into a "special situation" when you complain about working 30% more hours than you agreed to and without additional compensation--just because you are a mom.
There was no substance to their discussions--no real picture of what it is like to balance a demanding career and a family.
But I got a great piece of chocolate cake and a CLE credit, so it wasn't all for nothing.
On my way home I stopped by Target for necessaries, but ended up splurging on a vintage-look $10 t-shirt that says, "Will work for shoes" with Dorothy's ruby slippers splashed across the front. (I wanted to post a pic, but can't find the same shirt anywhere online--and my shirt is waaayyy cuter than any of the ones my google search came up with.) I don't usually buy (or even look at) Target clothes, because I don't think they hold up well, but this one fit my situation so perfectly that I couldn't resist.
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