This week has been tough. No interviews and no prospects. Yesterday I got a rejection letter from a firm where I thought the interview went really well. I have worked just about every networking contact that I know of. I am beginning to sink into a deep muddy pit of depression. I was grossly unproductive both Monday and Tuesday.
Today I dragged myself to a bar association presentation directed at women. I met up with a couple of former coworkers, which was nice. They said that lots of people in the office had mentioned how much they missed me.
I was disappointed with the presentation. It was dubbed "Inspiring Women" and was a panel discussion by several prominent female lawyers. Their spiel was that they are all successful women lawyers who have overcome adversity and have found success. Which is certainly true--they are all successful and they all began practicing at a time when women lawyers were greatly outnumbered by men.
But they made it sound like their career path was all rainbows and butterflies. "Yes you can have it all. I raised two kids and I am the managing partner at BigLawFirm."
She didn't mention what it feel like when you have to miss putting your kids to bed 3 nights in a row. Or how the very last thing in the world that you want to do on a Saturday morning after working a 65 hour week is go to a 9:00 a.m. soccer game. Except for maybe going back to work after that soccer game. Or how to handle a boss who tries to turn you into a "special situation" when you complain about working 30% more hours than you agreed to and without additional compensation--just because you are a mom.
There was no substance to their discussions--no real picture of what it is like to balance a demanding career and a family.
But I got a great piece of chocolate cake and a CLE credit, so it wasn't all for nothing.
On my way home I stopped by Target for necessaries, but ended up splurging on a vintage-look $10 t-shirt that says, "Will work for shoes" with Dorothy's ruby slippers splashed across the front. (I wanted to post a pic, but can't find the same shirt anywhere online--and my shirt is waaayyy cuter than any of the ones my google search came up with.) I don't usually buy (or even look at) Target clothes, because I don't think they hold up well, but this one fit my situation so perfectly that I couldn't resist.