This week has been tough. No interviews and no prospects. Yesterday I got a rejection letter from a firm where I thought the interview went really well. I have worked just about every networking contact that I know of. I am beginning to sink into a deep muddy pit of depression. I was grossly unproductive both Monday and Tuesday.
Today I dragged myself to a bar association presentation directed at women. I met up with a couple of former coworkers, which was nice. They said that lots of people in the office had mentioned how much they missed me.
I was disappointed with the presentation. It was dubbed "Inspiring Women" and was a panel discussion by several prominent female lawyers. Their spiel was that they are all successful women lawyers who have overcome adversity and have found success. Which is certainly true--they are all successful and they all began practicing at a time when women lawyers were greatly outnumbered by men.
But they made it sound like their career path was all rainbows and butterflies. "Yes you can have it all. I raised two kids and I am the managing partner at BigLawFirm."
She didn't mention what it feel like when you have to miss putting your kids to bed 3 nights in a row. Or how the very last thing in the world that you want to do on a Saturday morning after working a 65 hour week is go to a 9:00 a.m. soccer game. Except for maybe going back to work after that soccer game. Or how to handle a boss who tries to turn you into a "special situation" when you complain about working 30% more hours than you agreed to and without additional compensation--just because you are a mom.
There was no substance to their discussions--no real picture of what it is like to balance a demanding career and a family.
But I got a great piece of chocolate cake and a CLE credit, so it wasn't all for nothing.
On my way home I stopped by Target for necessaries, but ended up splurging on a vintage-look $10 t-shirt that says, "Will work for shoes" with Dorothy's ruby slippers splashed across the front. (I wanted to post a pic, but can't find the same shirt anywhere online--and my shirt is waaayyy cuter than any of the ones my google search came up with.) I don't usually buy (or even look at) Target clothes, because I don't think they hold up well, but this one fit my situation so perfectly that I couldn't resist.
8 comments:
I find that many of the presentations geared towards female attorneys that are like this are devoid of anything substantial. I have yet to hear anyone talk about their feelings and the struggles and what they had to do to get there.
why would they talk about their struggles? these are women who made it to the top by masking them, or even convincing themselves these feelings dont exist. :(
...or by taking prescription drugs, like anti-depressants or speed, or both. And who's gonna admit to such things in an open forum?
How's the routine? I want to hear about your grueling workouts, your ever-tightening abs, the 5K you signed up for...
Ok, I think the comments are a bit harsh. I do think it is possible to have a successful career,without pharmaceutical intervention, while still acknowledging the struggles. I'm not sure that these women were masking or ignoring anything--they just weren't speaking publicly about it.
Perhaps they would have in a more intimate forum--there were hundreds of women at this event. I'm not sure that I would feel comfortable sharing my war stories in such a venue, either.
But I was disappointed that this was billed as an even where women would share their experiences climbing to the top, when there was really no depth to the stories that were told.
LOL gudnuff--my routine has more to do with baking than with working out. Unfortunately my abs are moving in the wrong direction. If I don't get a job soon I will weigh 300 pounds.
I've never gotten a job offer from an interview I thought went really well. I dunno what it is, but every time I have a spectacular interview, where we really hit it off and I think I nailed it... nothing. Then I'll have an interview where I'm like, okay, that person seemed completely disinterested in me and there's no way I'm getting that job... and then I get an offer. I can't figure it out.
Just try to enjoy your time off as much as possible! Keep in mind, you'll find something soon enough, then you'll be back to work, and no more afternoon naps. And if you aren't taking afternoon naps, you're really missing out! (I might be projecting... I'm really going to miss afternoon naps when I start work this fall.)
I agree with Proto - naps are an excellent plan. And with Gudnuff re: working out (and pharmaceuticals...). And, harsh as it may seem, I agree with Anon. Some of the female partners I knew got through it by pretending it wasn't an issue. Denial...
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