Sort of an update on the situation with PS

Since finding PS's hiding spot, I have had an ongoing email conversation with her teacher. I wanted to make sure she did not hide anymore papers, so her teacher said that she would email me if she received a poor grade. Which has already happened.

Her class is reading Shiloh, which she has talked about and she loves, and takes a quiz at the end of every chapter. PS, who usually get 100's suddenly got a 71. WTF? It turns out that their "reading" is listening to an audio tape and following along. I'm not quite sure what purpose this serves in the fourth grade. I can see it to help first graders, but shouldn't fourth graders all be fluent readers?

So PS tells me that she has absolutely no recollection of chapter 8. She tries to tell me that she was in her GT pull-out class, but there are two other GT kids in her class that remember chapter 8. I convince her that she must have just zoned out. She said that she hates listening to the audio tapes and would rather just read it herself. She also asked me to take her to the library to get the book so that she could read chapter 8 and catch up on what she missed (which we did.)

I have emailed PS's teacher asking if PS can read independently and do an extra project or report instead of listening to the audio tapes. I don't want to tell the teacher how to do her job, but PS is such a gifted reader, and I don't think the school is doing an adequate job of challenging her. I had a major battle with her second grade teacher because she was only allowed to check out certain leveled readers from the school library. The child had already read three Harry Potter books, and they were limiting her to Junie B. Jones and The Magic Treehouse. (But her 3rd grade teacher started a Harry Potter book club for a handful of gifted readers.)

I also explained to PS that not all schoolwork is fun, as she is finding out, and that is part of growing up. I don't want her to think that because I am asking for special consideration on her reading lessons, that she will somehow get out of all boring work. Sometimes life is just boring.

Am I too tough on her?

I will admit that I set very high standards for my children--especially PS. Partly because I know they are capable of so much. PS is a smart cookie. She could recognize every letter in the alphabet at 18 months and had a few Dr. Seuss books memorized well enough that she could convince someone who didn't know better that she could read. (She also had quite a repertoire of old rock songs.) She was reading words as a late 2 year old, books as an early 3. At the time I didn't realize that this was unusual, and actually asked my pediatrician if something was wrong with my twins because they didn't recognize all of their letters by the time they were two.

But I'll also admit that part of my the reason I set such high expectations for PS is because I don't want her to be like me. Because everyone who knew me as a child says that PS is a carbon copy of me. We look a lot alike, but it goes deeper than than. I was bookish like her and she is a know-it-all like me. And I was a smart kid too (although I am told that my daughter is smarter than I was). But I was lazy. I never put any effort into my education until I got to law school. Before that I could slide by with minimal effort. And PS could too, but I want her to put out more than minimal effort. I want to push her to live up to her potential. But perhaps I push too hard.

This weekend we found a stash of papers hidden beneath the sink in the kids' bathroom. They were all of PS's "bad" grades, ranging from 86 to 70. The 70's were for papers that she turned in late or didn't complete properly. The 86 is bad because a B is bad, in the world I have created for my daughter. She was afraid she'd get in trouble. I felt like an ogre. DH thinks I push her too hard.

I explained that she would never be in trouble for bad grades when she genuinely didn't understand--that if she had shown me those papers we would have gone over them together to make sure she understood, and that I couldn't help her if she hid things from me. I told her that she would have been in trouble for the late and incomplete work, but that had been an issue just last week and she had only received was a short lecture. I'm not sure what she thought would happen--the only punishments she ever receives are extra chores or removal of privileges.

I guess I need to lighten up. It worries me that she thinks she has to hide a paper with an 86--or even a 70. What if she gets into serious trouble as a teen? I don't want her to be so fearful that she doesn't come to me.

Christmas Contemplations

Now that we are through Thanksgiving, I guess it is time to start thinking about Christmas. For the twins, we are thinking some kind of music player, but that is where we are hung up. We were initially thinking CD boomboxes. But they are nearly impossible to find this year. All the music aisles are filled with I-pod docking stations. So I started wondering if CD players are becoming obsolete in the digital music era. Then I started thinking maybe I should get MP3 players, instead. But they would need some kind of speaker system. And an MP3 player is awfully small for a 6 year old to keep up with. And more complicated to load music into. So maybe the old school CD player is the best route for now. Arghhh, why does this have to be more difficult?

PS, however, is making life easy on us. She created a PowerPoint presentation of her Christmas wish list, complete with fly-ins and sound effects. The child has a better grasp of Power Point than I do. I think her first job will be to create my trial presentations.

A little bit of everything

Look what my SIL sent. Isn't it cute? I love the little lawyer bear in the front. My law license and bar card showed up in the mail today--woohoo, now I am official.

Both of the kitties we have now are getting sick, so I had to meet with the person who runs the cat rescue to pick up meds. She has been a paralegal for a very long time and said that if I were thinking about going solo she could send me plenty of referrals. She also said that she had a huge forms library and could help with almost anything. You just never know where you might pick up a network connection. I'm still not sold on the idea of going solo, but I have decided that if I don't have a job by my birthday in late January I will go that route. I think it's good to have a deadline to work towards.

And just in case you were wondering, I survived Thanksgiving with my mother. My aunts, who are fully aware of the situation and basically on my side did a good job running interference so that she couldn't corner me. Unfortunately, my mother invited herself over to my house on Sunday. Sort of took my by surprise and I wasn't thinking quickly enough to get out of it--so we'll see what happens then. (Why is it I have no problem standing up to anybody in the world except my parents?) But at least I'll be on my own turf. Plus she has cat allergies, so maybe the kitties will run her off. I know this makes me sound like a real bitch, and unless you have a mother who is the center of her own universe you just can't understand. Heck, I didn't even understand how bad it was until I had children of my own and realized that I would never, ever treat my children the way she did.

But otherwise, T-day went much better than anticipated. I enjoyed a raucous game of chicken foot dominoes with my grandparents, who I know were very happy to see me (or rather my girlies.) And it snowed! I love snow, but it doesn't happen much in my neck of the woods, and I have never seen snow here on Thanksgiving before. They were big gorgeous flakes that didn't last long, but were a nice Thanksgiving surprise.

And speaking of Thanksgiving surprises, my brother called my uncle's house to speak with everyone, since he was the only family not present. I haven't spoken with my brother in 9 months (because he won't take my calls) and he has been blowing off the rest of the family too. But he called and he talked to me, and he sounded ok, so I guess he is speaking to me again.

God my family has too much drama.

Please don't vacuum the kitties

Just one of those weird phrases you utter once you have kids. (Don't worry about the kitties, it's a bug vacuum, so not enough suction to hurt anyone, but great for sucking up spiders.)

We had to give our orange kitten back to the cat rescue because he was sick. It was sad to give him back. We still have the little black kitten who loves to snuggle and we were given a 3 month old cat named Dylan. We'll have him for about a month, until he can be neutered. Dylan is hilarious. He zooms back and forth across the house at top speed. Then he'll snuggle for a little bit, then back to crazy cat. I think the kids enjoy him more than the little kittens because he is so playful. And he is very tolerant of the kids carting him around. I guess one good thing about is fostering is that any animal that comes from our house will be used to kids.

And Dylan loves DH, who has been rather grumbly about us bringing cats into the house. Last night he kept rubbing against his legs and jumping in his lap.

But I am now remembering why I didn't want a cat--the litterbox. PS cleans it every day and it still smells up the whole powder room. I don't know where else to put it, but this is not working. I don't want a stinky cat house.

Stress, it's a-buildin'

First, I am dreading Thanksgiving. Which is sad, because T-day is one of my favorite holidays. No stressing about buying (and paying for) the perfect gift. Just lots and lots of delicious food. For the past several years I have hosted assorted in-laws who have come down here. I love cooking for Thanksgiving. But this year I don't get to, because of the cousin's wedding. The whole damn family will be in town and Uncle is hosting. (I would have happily done it and have a much larger house, but I wasn't really given the choice.) But I could deal with all of that. The part I'm dreading is seeing my mother. And being trapped in this small house with her for at least a few hours. I'm afraid she is going to ruin a perfectly good holiday, just like last Christmas when she literally cornered me and refused to let me leave the room until she said her piece. It wasn't pretty.

Next, tomorrow is DH's last day at his current job. He has been there for nine years--since right out of college. It was time for a change, but the timing isn't great (I think he first interviewed with the new place 2 months ago), and there is a lot that is still unknown. Like when he'll get his first check at new place and for what time period it will cover, and how much it will be with all the benefits taken out. And with the holidays and my continued unemployment these unknowns are a little stressful. Besides the uncertainty of leaving the stable and secure for the unknown. He was working for a place largely unaffected by whatever the economy might bring. Now he is going to work for a real-estate investment firm--is this really the best time for them?

And of course there is the ever-present stress of unemployment.

And the kids are out of school this week, and while I love the little critters, they are about to drive me crazy with the fighting. And the, "Can we please go do something fun?"requests. Because no, we cannot go do anything fun because mommy doesn't have a job and Santa's coming soon.

This is what happens to kitties in a house full of little girls

These kittens are going to be spoiled rotten by the time we give them up. The girls are out of school this week and they are constantly cuddling the kitties. The poor little things won't know what to do if they go to a home where there is no one to hold them all the time.

Just in case these are on your Christmas list...

The 10 worst toys of the year. I was shocked that toy swords, daggers and rubber band guns could be dangerous. But Diego always seemed so innocent.

Blogging about blogging

DH says I am a total geek.

I finally got my new non-anon blog going. (No, I'm not linking here, then this one wouldn't be anonymous, and I don't want my bitching to come back and haunt me when I am being confirmed for my federal judgship some day.) It took all damn day. I decided to go with WordPress because it seems to have a lot more customization options. But then I couldn't figure out how to customize a regular old WordPress account, so I decided I needed to host my own account. Not a big deal, I already have a hosting account that I use for a nonprofit whose website I maintain, so I only needed to register my domain. And install the WordPress files on my account. And then my WordPress template. And then tinker with the template until I got it like I wanted it. And then draft my first carefully thought out, non-rambling, sensible post. Seriously, an all day event, and one I couldn't have pulled off without DH's help. But it's up and, if nothing else, it looks nice.

Look what I've got!

Kitties! PS has been begging for a cat for months now, but I have told her no because of SS's asthma and allergies. But a few weeks ago I contacted a local cat rescue to see if they needed foster homes. I figured it would give us the chance to test drive a cat and see how SS reacted. They finally called yesterday to see if we could take these kittens. They were rescued from a ditch and believed to be 4-5 weeks old. We'll have them for at least two weeks, until they are old enough for their first shots.

The orange one looks like a rough little street cat. He has no fur on his ears (I really hope its not from a disease my kids can catch) and one of his eyes is seems funny. But he's very playful and moves fast for something so little.

The black one is shy and snugly. He just likes to be held and sleep.

It will be fun to have kittens in the house for a little while. I finally get my own LOL cats.

This doesn't really make me feel better

I just read that unemployment in my state is the lowest it's been in over 30 years. And yet, here I sit.

Working Mom's Cooking Tip o' the Day

Rotisserie chickens from the grocery store are awesome. They make a meal on their own, but the leftovers can also be used to throw together quick meals later in the week.

Yesterday I bought two rotisserie chickens, for $5 each. My kids all want legs, and since I haven't found a three-legged chicken, two chickens solved that problem. For dinner last night I cut off the legs, thighs and wings of both chickens, and a little of the breast. I chopped up the rest of the breast (about 3 cups) which will be enough for two more meals. I'll probably do a chicken pot pie one night (which is a little time consuming, but can be made ahead and refrigerated or frozen) and fettuccine alfredo another night--which I can thrown together in about 20 minutes.

Shoe Problems

I always wear a 3-4" spiked heel with suits and dresses. And I swear I screw up every freakin' pair of shoes by stepping into a skinny crack and ripping up the leather on the heel. This often pulls the tip of the heel off, too. Just today I noticed that the heel was screwed up on my newest (and most comfortable) shoes. I must have done it while waiting on the valet before my swearing in, because I definitely remember stepping in a crack then. And just a few weeks ago I managed to scuff up my shoes and lose the heel on the escalator leading to Contract Firm. Fortunately the floors there are marble, so I did no damage with my tipless heel, but I did make an annoying one footed tapping sound all day, from the single metal spike hitting the floor. And once I stepped in a crack on the stairwell in the courthouse and got stuck. I would have fallen down the stairs if my coworker hadn't caught me.

Am I just unusually clumsy or does anyone else have this problem?

The Bar Meeting

Overall it went well. People weren't overly friendly, but I found a couple of kind souls who took pity on me and made it a point to include me. I got my first 1.5 hrs. CLE out of the way. Pretty good since I don't even have my bar card yet, and I have 2 years before I have to start reporting.

One att'y took my info and said that he may have some contract work for me. Another att'y who works for a civil defense firm in Big City gave me his card and said he thought they would have an opening in Jan. And another att'y advised that I take mental health court appointments if I have to go solo, and gave me contact info for that.

But apparently my little town is overrun with family lawyers. None of them were happy to hear that is what I'd be doing if I go solo. According to them, there is just not enough work here, and Big City lawyers keep taking what there is. Maybe its true, or maybe they are just protecting their turf.

Blogging for Business

I've been thinking that I should blog as a marketing tool if I want to go solo. I get a decent number of hits on this blog (and, of course, decent is relative). It would be great to turn those hits into a target audience to build my potential firm. Of course, I can't use this blog--you guys know too much about my personal life--and my whining would not exactly come off as professional, so I have to start from scratch.

So today I finally registered a new non-anonymous blog and gmail account (to keep things completely separate.) But I have no freaking clue what to do for content. So I currently have a postless blog. It's a lot easier to patter on about one's daily trials and tribulations than to actually write about something significant.

Also, I am a little worried about how blogging plays into the bar's advertising requirements. There are other lawyer bloggers in my state, so presumably it's ok. But does it have to be approved as advertising. All websites have to be approved by the bar--does that extend to blogs?

Sometimes the details are overwhelming.

The best laid plans

Ok, so my Plan C (going solo) is being bumped back up to Plan B, because yesterday's Plan B already fell through. I talked to one of my friends at Plan B place yesterday and he told me that other friend was confused and they won't have an opening until Jan. 2009. Fuck. That is not helpful at all.

Also got an email from CSO informing all of us unemployed souls that Big City DA's Office isn't planning on any hiring anytime soon. Double fuck. That was the last hold out, because we knew they wouldn't interview until after bar results. CSO said to start looking at surrounding DA's offices. Yeah, they aren't hiring either, I've already applied at all of them. Well, there are a couple in BFE podunkville. But I'm not going there--not if I want to continue to live with my family.

But today I'm being proactive. I emailed my local suburban bar ass'n yesterday, and their monthly meeting is at lunch today. So I will go and be social. And hopefully make some connections. I'm not hopeful enough to think I will get any job leads, but I'm hoping to get a lead on office space in my local area. And I will need mentors if I have to go solo, because I am essentially an infant who knows nothing.

Finally, to address some of the comments I received yesterday.

• I can't send the irate letter to the fundraising dept. of law school for reasons that I can't publicly post. That's the same reason I can't go to the CSO and throw a fit. Because believe me, with my bridge burning, typically type-A personality, I would be down there raising hell. But I have a pretty compelling reason that prevents me from doing so.
• I don't want to look for a non-legal job. I love practising law. I even loved law school. It is what I was meant to do. And I'm good at it. I just need to find that one person to give me a shot. And if that doesn't happen, I'll just have to do it myself--even if it scares the crap out of me and means financial turmoil.

Pulling it together

I'm am really trying to resist the urge to spend the day wallowing and feeling sorry for myself. Right now I am the most depressed I have been since I first went to law school. I may even be unhappier than I was as a SAHM--because now I'm just a way over-educated SAHM. And I feel like everyone around me is wondering why I am still at home when I just finished law school.

But anyway, I am trying to put that all aside, and this is my current plan of action:

• Email Contract Firm, who hasn't used me in a month, to say thanks for the reference, I didn't get the job, I'm still available if you need me.
• Write Interviewer to say, it sucks that I didn't get the job but I understand. Keep me in mind if you or any of your lawyer friends has an opening. And, oh yeah, I do contract work, too.
• Contact law school b/c I can no longer access job boards.
• Resist the urge to send extremely bitchy letter to fundraising dept of law school, who is already asking for money. Apparently they do not coordinate their lists with the career services office.
• Scour internet for any job ops I have missed (doubtful).

And I have reevaluated my career plan. Going solo has moved from Plan B to Plan C. I just really don't know how to pull it off financially right now. And finances are beginning to stress me out. A lot. But I will still continue to investigate, so that I can pull it together quickly if I need to go there.

Plan B is now to aggressively pursue a position that will be opening in January. It is not my top choice for employment, but I have several friends (aka connections) there , so I should have a decent shot. because Plan B isn't the kind of place where I could take any business that I manage to drum up, I can't pursue going solo until I see how that works out. Meanwhile, Plan A is to find a job before January. Because I need to work, for both my mental and financial stability.

The Swearing In

So I've been sworn in. But who knows how long it will take to actually get my bar card and license. I felt like a lawyer-impostor, sitting in the sea of black suits and not having a job or any prospect of such. I'm getting tired of the pride and happiness of all my important moments being mitigated by the loserness of not having a job.

I was shocked by how many people were there. Hundreds of lawyers and many more families. And babies--there were babies crying throughout the whole damn thing. Why do babies need to be there? And if they do need to be there, why can't you be respectful of everyone else and remove them when they start to fuss? This was in a coliseum, so everything echoed--even a little fuss could be heard for several rows.

The hotel we stayed in was gorgeous. It is very old and supposedly haunted, but we saw no signs of ghosts. It was also in a great location, so we were able to walk out the door and have our choice of eating and drinking establishments. It was nice to be able to go out and have fun without worrying who would drive back or when we needed to relieve the sitter. And I learned that tequila-induced relaxation relieves my TMJ better than anything else I have tried.

I have pissed off Karma

I finally heard back about The Job. The one where the interview actually went well. The one where they told Former Supervisor that they really liked me. I did not get the job. I figured that out last week when I hadn't heard anything despite my hand-written thank you note, follow-up email and phone call.

And, honestly, I was taking it very personally. Last week was really rough on me. I was just so tired of fighting and trying to figure out what was so wrong with me when there are so many law students with worse grades and stranger personalities. I spend a good part of the week in bed feeling sorry for myself.

I had finally determined that Interviewer must have contacted Contract Firm, and that Contract Firm must have been unhappy with my work product, since they haven't contacted me in a month. But still, I wanted an answer.

So Sunday evening I was surprised to finally get a phone call from Interviewer. I did not get the job, but it wasn't anything I did. For once, I did not screw up my own life. He said that I was "on the very short list of candidates," that all of my references had spoken very highly of me and that Contract Firm had said that I did great work for them.

So what happened? The associate who I would have replaced decided that she did not like her new job and asked for her old job back. Which means no opening for me.

How do I manage such shitty luck?

Women die after Nicaragua's ban on abortions - Health - MSNBC.com

Women die after Nicaragua's ban on abortions - Health - MSNBC.com

This makes me so angry I don't even think I can write a sensible post right now. A woman (and law student) in Nicaragua died because her doctors refused to treat an ectopic pregnancy. They refused to treat her because Nicaragua, under the direction of the Roman Catholic Church, has a total ban on abortion for any reason. So even in a case like this where there is virtually no chance the embryo will survive and a very great chance the mother will die or suffer permanent damage to her reproductive system, the doctors will not intervene for fear of losing their medical licenses. It just disgusts me that the church has so much power over the lives--and death--of these women.

Travel Tip 'o The Day

Apparently I have been living under a rock. Before last week, I had no idea that the swearing-in ceremony was in Capital City. It was something that I had never discussed with my classmates, and I guess I just assumed that there would be a local ceremony. But DH's boss's wife got sworn in a couple of years ago, and he told DH that we must go to Capital City for the swearing-in because it is a big deal and a nice ceremony. So it looks like DH and I will be going.

I had originally booked a decent hotel for $150/night a couple miles away from the heart of Capital City. Then I remembered Priceline. We have used it a couple of times before when it was just DH and me and got really great deals. Like the Hyatt on Michigan Ave. in Chicago for $45/night. And TI in Las Vegas for $60/night. Doesn't really work for families, though, so I haven't used them lately. Anyway, I managed to get Fancy Pants Hotel, right in the heart of Capital City for $85--less than 40% of their internet rate. WooHoo!

If you use Priceline to book a hotel, you must first visit Bidding For Travel. Their message boards include a breakdown of what hotels to expect in each of Priceline's hotel categories and areas in each city. There are reviews of many of the hotels. But they also allow users to post the bids that won along with the hotel received.

So I knew before I bid, that someone had won a bid for $85 on Fancy Pants Hotel for the same night that I needed it. I also knew that that person had tried lower bids without success. This is important because you can only bid on a single hotel class and city area once every 3 days. You have time to try low bids if you have a longer time frame, but not if you are planning to travel within a few days. And the caveat is that the best deals are available with the shortest notice. But if you spend time on Bidding For Travel, you can get a good idea of what to bid to get a nice hotel.

I will now stop sounding like a commercial. And, no, I have not received any endorsements from any of the above listed websites.

No news is good news?

Still haven't heard anything about the job I interviewed for last week. I has assumed that they were waiting to do anything until bar results were out, so I was disappointed not to hear anything on Friday. I am trying to balance between paranoid neurosis and confidence. Former supervisor is convinced the job is mine--I hope that I am not counting too heavily on his impression. But I can come up with a 1000 reasons why they might have changed their minds about me. I really hope they let me know something soon.

Purging

So today I realized that I can finally get rid of the huge stack of barbri books that have been sitting untouched in the corner of my bedroom since July. My first thought was to have a big 'ol barbri bonfire. But my practical side took over, so I'll probably just sell them on ebay. I'll also be getting rid of all of my 1L study aids. I had hung on to them in case they might be useful for bar prep--since the MBE is essentially a recap of 1L. I never even looked at them. It feels good to get rid of some of this stuff.

Thanks for all the congrats!

I had no idea I had so many online supporters.

I received my score in the mail today. I had envisioned passing by only one point, I actually passed by a comfortable margin. It was not a super awesome score but, who the hell cares?

In addition to congratulating me and welcoming me to the bar, the powers that be have kindly informed me that I am in fact not licensed to practice law until I am sworn in and have paid almost $300 in fees. A little notice would have been nice. I hope I hear something about a job soon or my kiddos are getting a copy of mommy's law license in their stockings this Christmas.

Chupacabra is a ...

Coyote?? I am so disappointed. There just aren't enough real mythical creatures left in this world.

For some reason my 1L study group was obsessed with the Chupacabra. It became sort of an inside joke. The answer to everything was the Chupacabra. And now its just a freaky hairless coyote.

The Play by Play

Just in case you want to know what happens when one receives bar results.

Even though it was the day before results were due, I was checking the website regularly. But I had to leave at 3 to pick up my girlies from school, and once we returned home I was chatting with them about their day and going through their folders. I finally wandered back upstairs for the sole purpose of refreshing the bar result page again.

Oh crap--it has changed. There is now a link to the pass list. I had wondered if, once I saw that results were posted I would be too freaked to look or if I would go directly to where my name should be. I went right to where my name should be. Of course I suddenly forget alphabetical order as I am scrolling for my name. Finally, finally there it is.

I screamed. Not like a girly squeal--a blood-curdling scream. I'm surprised the neighbors didn't call the police. Then I collapsed into sobs. Huge, wracking, can't-catch-your-breath sobs. I think I scared the crap out of my kids. I am not a crier, but I think all of the stress and emotion that has been building since May finally came to a head.

Somehow, through the tears, I explained to the kids what was going on. The I made PS look at the computer and validate that my name was in fact there. Then I had her call DH, because he would have freaked if I would have called while I was bawling. Seriously, I could not stop--this went on for like an hour.

PS gave me a thumbs up and a "good job, Mom". SS gave me a big hug and said, "I'm so proud of you, mommy." Then the phone calls started, all full of "I told you so's."

DH came home early and we all went out to dinner. Lucy (our nanny) is out of town, so no private celebrations yet. But that was ok, because I still wasn't feeling great, and all of the crying made it worse. And the kids needed to be part of it anyway--they had to put up with me through all of this.

Today there have been a couple more calls. SS seems to have picked up whatever I have, so we are being sickies together. I'm still trying to process, and refuse to close the results page on my computer.

Meanwhile I've been checking out how my classmates did. One of my friends is missing from the list. I am surprised and sad for her. There are a couple of acquaintances missing, too. It sucks that the whole world has to know your terrible news.

I Passed!!!!!!!!!!

And now I can't stop crying.

It's About TIme

Training Law Students for Real-Life Careers - New York Times

I learned so much more from my internships, clinic participation and performance-based classes like Trial Ad and Negotiations than I ever did sitting in a traditional classroom.

I'm bored

For fun I am watching the hit counter go up on the state bar website. There have been another 40,000 hits since my post last night. I have cleaned out my google reader and caught up on the message board I visit. I am too unfocused to read or watch TV. I should probably get out of the house, but I don't have any errands to run and recreational shopping is out until I have a job.

Pardon my Probable Proliferation of Posts

I expect that I will keep my laptop close at hand today. Even though results aren't due til tomorrow, the possibility of an early release leaves me refreshing the website every quarter hour. (We are not a state where results are mailed before they are released online.)I would hate for someone to find out before me and call before I had a chance to process.

And I won't even feel guilty for wasting my day on the internet. I seemed to have developed a sinus infection late last night and I am stopped up, headachey and generally feeling crummy. A good excuse to curl up on the sofa and do nothing but surf the net and clean out my TIVO.

So anyway, given all the garbled thoughts flowing through my head right now, I foresee numerous rambling posts today. And so I apologize in advance for clogging up your blog reader.

Can't Sleep

Something about pondering all the ways in which my life could change in the next 48 hours is not allowing me to sleep. I took a sleeping pill half an hour ago, and so far it has done nothing for me. I usually just read when I can't sleep, but I'm to edgy to concentrate. (BTW, I am really liking The Golden Compass!)

I think I checked the bar results website about 10 times today. Not too compulsive, I don't think. Especially considering that the number on their hit counter has doubled in the past day or so. 30,000 hits in one day. I think there were around 1500 who sat for the bar here. Apparently I'm not the only one checking regularly already.

Despite the fact that I have tried to be very nonspecific about when bar results come out, people have been coming out of the woodwork this week asking me about it. And everyone says that they are absolutely certain that I passed, there is no possible way I could have failed and that I have never failed at anything. What these people don't understand is that their confidence in my actually make it worse. Because disappointing all of them may be just as bad as the disappointment I will have in myself if I don't pass.

But the thing that worries me the most, is that if I don't pass I honestly don't know what to do better or differently the next time around. I gave the bar everything I've got--I have never worked so hard for anything. I don't even think I would have the heart to put in what I did the last time--much less go beyond that. It is not surprising that pass rates for retakers is morbidly low.

This is the best verdict I have heard of in a long time

Funeral war pickets lose verdict - U.S. Life - MSNBC.com

Those people are f'ing nuts.

The Almighty Billable Hour

In my interview yesterday, we spent a little while talking about billables. I hadn't been exposed to keeping time until I started working for Contract Firm, but it seemed to be a selling point with Interviewer that I had some billing experience.

He said that they didn't really have set requirements, but they would expect me to bring in 2.5 times my earnings, and realistically, that would be about 160 hours a month (1920/year). So I am googling to learn more about billing requirements elsewhere, to help with salary negotiations--if I get to reach that point. I do not want to wake up one day and realize that in order to meet my billables I am working for 10 bucks an hour.

160 hours a month seems reasonable to me. I know that some Biglaw firms have much higher requirements. I regularly billed at least 8 hours a day to Contract Firm, and often more than that. But I was always working on a specific project--and usually just one client at a time. I didn't really have downtime, and I certainly didn't have to figure in CLE's or conferences or make up for vacations. And that office is not especially social, so I wasn't losing time chatting in the break room. So I am anxious to get a more realistic expectation of how much of my life will really be spent working if I am billing 160 hours/month. Based on the research I did today, I will need to work 45 hours a week, 48 weeks/year to meet the 160/month requirement.

Meanwhile, if anyone else is interested in this subject, here are some interesting links:

The Truth About the Billable Hour according to YLS

Scheherazade on the Billable Hour

Blog Post From Lex Prep This link pointed out that federal holidays account for two weeks out of the year. Then you have two weeks for vacation. So calculations should be based on a 48 week year. Maybe I'm slow, but I never even considered federal holidays--I was calculating based on a 50 week year and including 2 weeks for vacation.

NALP Charts Showing an average of 215 nonbillable hours/year

Happy Halloween!

I am so glad that this is a holiday week, because it gives me something to focus on besides impending bar results. Former Supervisor told me yesterday that he has been checking the website because results have been known to appear early--even on Halloween a couple of years ago. Talk about a trick or treat.

Last night we carved our pumpkins. PS did hers all by herself. She did a great job and I was proud of her, but a part of me is sad to see one more thing she doesn't need me for anymore. The twins decided that cleaning out the pumpkin guts was disgusting (and TT is the kid who will pick up any living creature without a second thought??), so I was left to do the job. I let them take over the decorating with a lite-bright type pumpkin kit that they could do themselves. Then we roasted the seeds--yum.

PS has moved beyond the fairy and princess stage and decided she wants to be spooky this year. One of her favorite movies is Corpse Bride, so we decided to go with that and dress her up like a zombie bride (It would be too hard to do a recognizable Corpse Bride.) She's using her flower-girl dress from a wedding, and I got her a black witch wig and made a headpiece from purple tulle. The twins are cats, in hand-me-down costumes foisted on them by Pushy Mom. But they love the costumes and haven't asked to be anything different, so it works (and saves me some $$.)

By the way, has anybody else noticed the proliferation of trampy vampy costumes for young girls this year? I have no problems with adults who want to use Halloween as their annual excuse to dress like a slut (at an adult party), but I have seen a shocking number of inappropriate costumes for little girls. I guess I shouldn't really be shocked, given some of the everyday outfits I see these days.

Interesting WSJ article for 0Ls

How to Cut Debt, Boost Job Prospects From Law School - WSJ.com

My favorite quote, "many schools' data on graduate employment prospects paint a rosy picture that is sometimes less than reliable."

Insane Day

I got a call last night from a small firm partner wanting me to come in for an interview at 10 this morning. I had applied for the job a full month ago, and didn't even remember anything about the firm or the job. As it turned out, the firm is in the same shiny building downtown as Contract Firm, 6 floors up. They even used the same elevator bank in big shiny building (where there are 6 banks of elevators, providing express service to the upper floors). This firm also has a civil defense practice, similar to Contract Firm's practice.

The interview went very well. I think I developed a good rapport with the attorney interviewing me and was able to sell my strengths without appearing overly confident. He said that I had an impressive resume. I was once again asked my salary requirements, and threw out the same number I used the last time I got this question. He did say that he thought this was a little high--closer to what they were looking at for a 3rd year. I told him that we could certainly negotiate. He asked if he could contact Contract Firm, and I told him that wouldn't be a problem, and also gave him my other references. Then he gave me a tour of the entire office. He showed me what would be my office--which is directly above my office at Contract Firm. The interview lasted about an hour, which I took as a good sign.

On my way downstairs, I stopped by Contract Firm to give them a heads up that they might be getting a call about me, but the partner was in a depo so I headed back downstairs. Just as I was stepping off the elevator, I ran into another Partner from Contract Firm--the first one that I had worked with and who had initially hired me. I hopped back on the elevator so that I could tell her about the interview and the potential reference call. She was very nice and said that they had no problems providing me with references because I had done great work for them. Then she asked if Other Partner had mentioned anything about needing a permanent associate. I told her that it hadn't come up. She said that she would talk to him about the reference call and about whether he was considering adding a permanent associate, and that she would let him know that I might become available soon. So, that was definitely a positive conversation, and I am very glad I hopped back on that elevator.

But wait, there's more. (Said in my best infomercial voice.)

As I was driving home from the interview, I got a call from a former supervisor that Interviewer had already left a voice mail seeking to check my references. Supervisor wanted to know if there was anything specific that I wanted him to mention. (It's good to stay friends with the people you work with!) I was shocked that Interviewer was already checking references, and glad that I had run in to Contract Firm Partner to give her a heads up.

Supervisor called back later to give me the scoop. Interviewer has already spoken with a few of my references and said that they all had good things to say. Then Supervisor told him that I had drafted and argued an MSJ, and he seemed impressed with that. Interviewer told Supervisor (and I am hesitant to type this for fear of jinxing myself) that he was ready to make me an offer, but he had a few things to take care of first.

My guess is that the "few things" involve 1) other interviews--because he did tell me that he had a few people to interview, and 2) making sure I pass the bar. Honestly, if I were in his position I wouldn't be making any offers before bar results are out on Friday. And he did say that he would let me know something next week.

So this has been a good day. Hopefully Interviewer won't find anybody that he likes better and I will pass the bar. I am afraid to really get my hopes up--especially since it just doesn't seem possible that too many good things could happen all at once, and I really need all of my good Karma directed toward the bar. (DH had his second interview which went really well, so the prospect of both of us finding jobs + passing the bar is overwhelming given the suckiness of the last two months).

Hmmm...

Yesterday one of the job search agents sent a job to my inbox informing me that the clerking position that I interviewed for several weeks ago was still listed (or relisted?). I was both irritated and puzzled. I had assumed that they had already hired someone else--they told me that they had two weeks of interviews scheduled. Surely there was someone qualified out of that bunch. And even if no one else was qualified I was quite well qualified for that position--more so than for most of the jobs I have applied for.

Once the brief moment of irritation passed, I realized that this must mean that they had probably not made a decision yet--and I needed to make sure that i was still being considered.

So today I called the chief staff attorney to inquire whether the position was indeed still open and to let them know that I was still very much interested in the position. I was told that they were no longer interviewing, but had not made a final decision and that they were just slow. Which makes sense because 1) it is a government position, and 2) it was nearly two months after I initially applied before they called for an interview.

I think I'll follow up with a letter, selling myself one more time. I mean, what have I got to lose? A good friend from 1L year told me that he got his current job because he called every single day after his interview. His grades were terrible and he graduated from a T4 (for my newer readers--yes, I transferred from a T4 to a T1 after 1L--that probably has a lot to do with why I am not employed now, because it really killed me in 2L OCI).

Meanwhile, I am still investing going solo. There is so much to learn and so much information to process. And it is still not my top choice, because I really, really want a regular paycheck.

I could never be a teacher

A couple of days ago I got an email stating that help was needed in PS's class this Friday afternoon. Given that I have nothing else to do, I stepped up. I didn't really know what I was volunteering for, but figured it was just helping out with some special project.

Ummm, no. They left me all alone with a room full of fourth graders. Apparently the principal scheduled a weekly curriculum meeting for the fourth grade teachers on Friday afternoons during school hours. (WTH?) And the poor unaware parents are supposed to cover the teacher's class during this time.

The teacher pretty much handed me an assignment, said "have fun" and left. The students were supposed to work in groups to draw a scene from Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, write a paragraph describing why they picked that scene, and present it to the class. Of the 5 groups of students, two were cooperative.

One group had two boys and two girls who kept picking at one another and tattling. One group had all the "mean girls" who wanted to boss everybody else and test my limits. One group had two girls and a boy who couldn't come to any agreement whatsoever, didn't complete their project or present, and one of the girls went to crying to the bathroom. Which led half of the remaining girls to request to use the bathroom so that they could console her. I figured this out pretty quickly, and then had to go use my mean mom voice to send them all back to class.

The whole ordeal was exhausting, and I can't imagine spending 7 hours a day, 5 days a week with all those kids. I'd rather do criminal defense.

Two more things to figure out

First, where do I want to practice? I like being in the City, the connections there and the potential to make a name for myself. But I think it will be much harder to market and make those initial connections in the City. My other alternative is to build my practice in the 'burbs. My little suburb was on a list of the 100 fastest growing cities in the country (and it wasn't near the bottom.) I already have connections here--and networking and marketing would certainly be easier. I'm just not sure that I ever really pictured myself as the small town attorney. But practicing here would eliminate my commute and would give me more flexibility to spend time with my kids. Definitely something I need to figure out.

Second, what am I going to call myself in my marketing materials, and more precisely, what should I use for my domain? The problem is that nobody can spell my last name. It's not especially helpful to have a website if nobody can remember how to spell it and get there. Although I suppose I could register a couple of the more common misspellings. (It always astonishes me when big businesses fail to register the common misspellings of their names. It's $10.) Regardless [mylastname].com and [mylastname]law.com are taken. I can get [mylastname]firm.com. But can you be a firm if you are a solo? I could also do [myfirstname][mylastname]law.com.

DH suggested thebitch.com, to compete with thehammer, thekiller, thedogs, thestrongarm, etc. I kinda like it--it works for me.

What I've learned today

For about $200/month I can get lease a "virtual office" giving me a fake address in a fancy office building, access to a conference room, and an answering service. On the one hand, I can see how this sort of arrangement could be used for nefarious purposes, and it does feel a little squidgy to be operating under a facade. On the other hand, I definitely do not have the budget to lease office space or hire a receptionist right away, and this is a reasonable and cost-effective solution.

Now the big question--what kind of law am I going to practice? Because instead of focusing in on anything in law school, I tried a little bit of everything so that I could figure out what I want to do. So I have a bit of experience in criminal law, family law and PI. Making me the jack of all trades and master of none. I wish I had a little more depth in any one field.

And I am not thrilled about the prospect of doing criminal defense work, but it may be the fastest track to a (small) paycheck. We don't really have a public defender's office around here, crim. defense attorney's just get on the judge's list and then hang around during docket call hoping to be appointed. I could also try to get on the list of attorney's ad litem, since I that is what I did in the clinic I worked in. But I know you have to take some CLE courses for that, so I don't know how long it would take.

I am terrified of getting in over my head. I have prepared pleadings, motions and discovery in a PI case, but I have never even sat in on a depo. And I would have no idea how to find and hire (and pay for) experts on a big case.

I am not a risk taker. I've never done drugs, I rarely drink, I don't bungee jump or skydive, and I refuse to purchase anything over $25 without first checking at least three sources for reliability and a better price. So this whole prospect of going it alone is putting me waaaaay outside my comfort zone.

More Kid Lit Controversy

I've often said that if I weren't going to be a lawyer I would be a children's librarian because I love, love, love children's literature. The problem is that I'm not really nice enough to be a librarian and I don't really like children--except my own, of course. So I'm much better suited for being a lawyer (who doesn't represent children, as I learned from by child ad clinic--but I've digressed.)

And I'm very child-like in the way I am drawn to any book which is surrounded by controversy. A while back I posted on the ridiculousness of the fact that the children's book The Higher Power of Lucky was banned from some libraries because it contains the word "scrotum." I have since read the book, which I found quite charming and very well written and then passed it along to PS.

Now I have discovered that there is much controversy surrounding The Golden Compass which is being released as a movie in December. So of course, the first thing I did was put the book on hold at my local library.

Apparently the author is an avowed atheist who has openly stated that his books "are about killing God." Of course, this isn't sitting well with The Catholic League and other conservative Christian groups. And here's another interesting link.

Despite my fundamentalist Christian upbringing, I have eschewed organized religion for the past several years. I generally claim to be agnostic, but the truth is that I am on the fast track to atheism. And as much as I like a good banned book, and even better, to be at odds with the Catholic League, I will admit that there is something patently wrong and offensive about writing books about killing God. Because one of the things that drove me from Christianity--and really all organized religion--is the lack of tolerance. Just because you believe one way doesn't give you the right to stomp all over everyone else's beliefs. And so I feel the same way about someone whose goal is to promote atheism and tear down others' beliefs. The author certainly has the right not to believe in God--but does it really help others better understand atheism if he attacks their right to believe in God? That is just as bad a the bible-thumpers who preach that everyone who does not believe the way they believe is doomed to an eternity in Hell. I just don't understand why it is so difficult for so many to simply mind their own business and respect others' rights to choose their own belief system.

In any event, I'll definitely be reading the book. Which is exactly what those darn book-banners don't want. But I will read and decide what is appropriate for my children and me.

Well, so much for that

After all of my to-do yesterday I ended up with the response that neither of the partners with whom I have been working anticipate needing me before the end of the month (which I guess is really only a week away at this point), but they'll call if they do need me. Which could very well happen because I have never been able to pin anyone down on when I might be needed more than 12 hours in advance.

In any event, I am quickly drawing the conclusion that this firm is not considering me for permanency. Either, 1) they just aren't that thrilled with my work, or 2) they just aren't busy enough to need full-time help right now. Neither alternative bodes well for me.

And so, since the job market appears so sucky, and I appear so unlikeable to potential employers, I am now seriously investigating the prospect of going solo. This is not something I want to do. I want a regular paycheck--I have been making promises to my kids for the last three years based upon my anticipation of a regular paycheck. And going solo not only means not getting a regular paycheck, but at least in the beginning, an even worse financial position.
But I am not about to sit on my unemployed ass if, by some miracle from the heavens above, I actually did manage to pass the bar.

So this week, since I really have nothing better to do, I am looking at what it will really cost, even on a shoestring. Malpractice insurance will be the biggie. And access to legal research. I can get by without an office in the beginning, and I can lease conference space to meet clients--I know there are places you can rent by the hour (that sounds so sordid!) I already have a computer, high-quality printer and basic software. But I need to be able to receive faxes (Efax = $17/month). A P.O. Box. Business cards. A website--that will be a minimal expense, because that is what DH does. I'll need at least a small library w/ forms books, and they are pricey.

Oh yeah, and I have to figure out how the hell to incorporate, or what the hell kind of business I need to form. Because I never actually took a business law class, and I only know what I learned for the bar. And I have no f'ing clue how to set up an IOLTA account, or how to maintain it so that I don't violate any ethics rules. (But I guess it's a good sign that I actually know that it exists, and it is required.)

So basically, going solo scares the shit out of me. I would be much more ok with it if I had a couple years experience and a little start-up capital stashed away. But I'm smart, and I have the willpower and ability, so if no one else will hire me, then I will pull myself up by my own bootstraps.

Coming Out

I finally came out of the closet at Contract Firm and revealed my mom status. I don't think anybody there had a clue that I had kids, in fact I am certain they assumed that I was a typical 25 year old recent grad. Given my past experiences I wasn't about to volunteer that I had kids--I wanted the chance to prove myself first.

But yesterday the office administrator emailed to say she was processing my check and to make sure there weren't any more days to be submitted. But I'm not supposed to get paid until the end of the month. So of course, I launch into freak-out mode, assuming that this is a subtle hint that they will not be needing me the rest of the month--or ever. (Ok, so I am a little insecure these days.) I replied that I wondering if she was processing my check early because I wouldn't be needed the rest of the month. She said she didn't know but could ask if I wanted her to. This put me in an odd predicament, because on one hand I don't want to be too pushy or reveal my insecurity, but on the other hand, a little predictability in my life would be awesome.

So I decided to play the nanny card and reveal myself. I told her that while I don't mind coming in on short notice, I like to give my nanny some warning so that she could be available. Which is certainly true.

Hopefully, this will lead to a little more predictability for both me and Lucy (or we'll both continue to be jobless). And I think that I have put enough long hours in over there to prove myself, despite having borne three children.

Wrapping up the Weekend

Yesterday was the kids' school carnival. I was volunteering most of the time we where there, and DH was stuck chasing after the kiddos. At one point one of PS's friend's mom came up to me and told me what a great job I was doing with her. Her daughter was new to the school at the end of last year, and had a tough time fitting in. PS was kind to her and became one of her first friends. The other mom was tearing up telling me about it. I was one proud momma.

Meanwhile Pushy Mom managed to invite her younger DD over to my house after the carnival. Both of our older girls were invited to a birthday party after the carnival, and she dropped them off. I was really tempted to not allow her to invite her child over, simply to make a point, but we weren't really doing anything and I knew my kids would have fun, so I went with it.

When she arrived to pick up her DD, she brought her dog. Not like a little chihuahua in a purse, a 60 lb. chocolate lab. As soon as I opened the door, the dog came zooming in the house. Good thing I didn't have my own dog in the house, I have no idea how Bob would have reacted. The dog proceeded to sniff out the entire downstairs. Then the kids opened the front door, and the dog raced back outside. Of course, one of my neighbors happened to be walking her golden retriever right in front of my house at that very moment, and chaos ensued. I'm beginning to think that Pushy Mom is not playing with a full deck. Who just brings their unleashed dog over to explore someone's house?

Who knew? Dumbledore's gay

Bloomberg.com: Muse

Ties that bind

I just got an invitation to my cousin's wedding that will be over Thanksgiving weekend. I do not want to go. I have never had much of a relationship with this cousin and can probably count on one hand the number of times that I have seen him in the last 10 years. But it's not even that--it is the thought of dealing with my family, and more specifically my mother. I have successfully avoided my mother for most of the last two years, with the exception of my grandmother's illness and funeral. I so do not want to deal with her.

But my aunt (not this cousin's mom) called a couple of weeks ago to give me the hard sell on why I needed to go to the wedding because the whole damn family would be in town. I manage to avoid most icky family stuff because most of my family still lives in Hometown, but cousin lives in my metro area. She did the guilt trip thing, telling me that my grandparents were getting older and having serious health problems and that I really needed to see them. And she is right. She knows the situation with my mom and is on my side, but I know that I should not punish the rest of my family or my grandparents because of my issues with my mother.

So I think that I am not going to be able to wriggle out of going to the wedding. Which means finding (and paying for) a sitter on Thanksgiving weekend. And buying a gift (ok, so I would do that anyway). And probably buying a new dress. I own suits and I own jeans, and not much else. I just don't wear dresses. I may be able to pull off the basic black dress that I wore for graduation, but it is sleeveless and may be a little too cool in late November. (The reception is at a winery--that sounds like outdoors, right?) I thought about buying a wrap, but after looking at wraps online, I might as well just buy a new dress. This wedding I don't want to go to is gonna cost me a bundle.

I'm a loser, baby...

Yep, already got a rejection for the job I interviewed for on Tuesday. The one where I was told to contact him after I got bar results, because he wasn't in a huge hurry to hire. Apparently he already hired someone. But its not a reflection of my qualifications--they were differently qualified. Which I must imagine means already licensed--and probably experienced. So this sucks, because this is a job that I really wanted, in a field I actually want to work in, where I would get real trial experience immediately, and a reasonable commute to my house.

I'll admit that I am beginning to wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Why does nobody like me? What exactly do I keep saying in interviews to guarantee a rejection? I feel like I need to videotape myself in interviews so that I can pick out my flaws--like in my Trial Ad class. A miserable experience, but very valuable.

I worked for Contract Firm only one day this week. Supposedly they were planning to bring me in for most of the week, but the case I was to work on settled. Good for the clients, bad for me. I'm beginning to feel like a high dollar whore. The "don't call us, we'll call you, and when we call we want you now," attitude is getting to me. I usually get a call around 10:00 am letting me know that they want me that day. Is the work there truly so unpredictable that they can't tell even the day before when I will be needed? Doubtful. But I'm not really in a position to complain--the money is nice and some work is better than no work. On the days I don't work I just wallow in the depths of self pity. It is not pretty.

Meanwhile, DH will have a 2d interview for the job he interviewed with last week, and they told his recruiter that he is currently their top candidate. This is good. His job would be more focused on what he really wants to do and there would be a pay increase. So we'll keep our fingers crossed that something positive happens in the LC household.

Another day, another interview

Today I interviewed with a small plaintiff's firm. Well, small firm, but big cases and some enormous verdicts of late.

The interview was short--15 minutes. Generally I would take that as a bad sign. But the questions asked were substantive, and this lawyer just seemed busy. You could tell he was a trial lawyer by his interviewing technique. It got to the heart of the matter and he asked the questions he actually needed to know to determine if I would help his business. And you could tell that he was the type who could smell bullshit a mile away.

Honestly, I liked this interview more than most I have been on. I didn't have to schmooze, I just had to give logical answers about my actual experience . (I swear, half the interviews I go on don't even ask about my experience.) The only place I really stumbled was when he asked what my salary expectations were. I did not think that that, "I'm desperate and I'll take anything above minimum wage," was going to be helpful to me. So I picked a number that I know is average for a first year at a mid-size firm, and probably a little high for a small firm. But I though it was better to start high than low. (Can you believe I worked that all out in my head in like 3 seconds?)

Anyway, it's hard to gauge how the interview went. It ended with him telling me to contact him when I had bar results. This puzzled me, because it is an entry-level position and I would expect all the interviewee's to be waiting on bar results. But I guess it is good that he wanted to hear from me.

To tie up loose ends:

• Still haven't heard back on the clerking position I interviewed for. I'm taking that as a negative sign--I think I would have received a call back by now if news was positive, so I expect my rejection letter any day now.
• Still haven't spoken with Pushy Mom. She left a voice mail Sunday afternoon informing me that she had taken care of her kids' afternoon pick-up, but asking if I could drop them at school on Monday because she had to be at the hospital very early. I called and got her voicemail and told her that was no problem and to call me to work out details. Never heard from her, but according to PS, the g'ma came in from California and picked the girls up from school.
• Haven't worked for Contract Firm since last Wednesday. A little stability would be nice, but I'm not exactly in a position to complain.

The milk has turned into a polymer!

Said PS when she was loading the dishwasher this evening and came across a cup left behind by her sisters this morning. One thing nobody tells you about kids is that they are freaking hilarious. Every single day one of my kids gives me some reason to laugh.

Our Nerdy Little Secret

SS nearly stepped on this guy when we were out Geocaching today. Yep, he was alive, but fortunately didn't seem too bothered by nearly being stepped on.

We started geocaching last year, shortly before spring break. You go to the geocaching website, find coordinates for hidden caches where ever you happen to be hunting that day, plug them in to your GPS, and you're ready to go. (Well, actually it's a little more complicated than that, but you get the gist.) It's known as a "high-tech treasure hunt." It is shocking to learn how many hides there are in any given area. There are tens of thousands in our metro area, and always have plenty of options wherever we go on vacation.

The caches we have found range in size from about 1 sq. cm. to a 3 gallon jug. For DH and me, the fun is in the finding. The kids like the larger caches, because they can trade stuff--usually inexpensive toys. But sometimes you get really cool stuff. The last time we went out we were the First to Find a new cache and were rewarded with a $20 GC to a local restaurant.

It's kind of a nerdy hobby, but it gets us (a bunch of book and computer geeks) outdoors. And its one of the few things that appeals to the whole family. And, after the initial investment of a GPS, its cheap. Our GPS was only about $75--a very basic model, but it does everything we need. Oh, but we did have to invest another $15 in a cable to download coordinates instead of having to enter by hand. It's also best to have a PDA so that you can carry along hints and info about the caches you are seeking, but I had an old one sitting in the closet.

We had a fun day, tramping through an urban nature preserve and searching for hidden plastic treasures.

Not that desperate

I applied for a couple of jobs lately that were posted on my school's job board. Today while I was happily shopping the dairy aisle in the grocery store, I got a call from one of them asking me to come in for an interview tomorrow. I was surprised that 1) they were calling to set up an interview less than 24 hours after receiving my resume and 2) that they wanted to interview me on a Saturday. But it was a small firm and I thought perhaps he was just so overwhelmed that he needed help asap and Saturday was the only time available.

So I got home and decided to google the firm. I had already done this yesterday, but didn't turn up much. I'm not sure what I did differently today, but I made a gruesome discovery.

This firm (along with 3 others) is responsible for the most patently offensive advertising campaign in the legal industry. The advertise regularly on the raunchy morning talk radio show that I listen to. Every time I hear their ads I comment about how degrading they are to the legal field. They even have "The [Sleazy Law Firm] Girls" that go to local bars where they host wet T-shirt contests. No I am not kidding. Don't ask me how that gets past the state bar advertising regulations.

The reason I didn't immediately associate the firm I applied with is because there is another law firm usually mentioned. But if you go to their website, it links to four different firms--and one is the one I applied with. Once I told DH the name of the firm he said, "Oh yeah, I think I have heard him mentioned on the radio."

So now I have to call back and cancel the interview. There is no way in hell I would work for these people. And if they ask why I am cancelling, I will be happy to tell them.

P.S. In case anyone is wondering about Pushy Mom, she has yet to return my call.

3 weeks

Til bar results come out. I'm beginning to freak out a little. I am being asked about it more and more. A couple of nights ago DH asked when exactly they are out, and then I did not sleep at all because I was playing out the possible scenarios in my mind all night.

I definitely want to be alone on that day. I just can't imagine being in an office and having to deal with people and then actually make my way home if I fail. And I want to be able to scream and dance if I pass. I told DH that no matter what, we needed to book a sitter because I am getting sloshed that night.

I remember when results came out last year. There were two recent grads working in the clinic. All day long people were in and out asking, "Do you know yet?" I happened to be in the clinic when the results came in--late afternoon. I was in the office of one when I heard a yelp from the other office. Of course, we all knew what it was. And then the one whose office I was in burst into tears. It was very uncomfortable, the range of emotions that suddenly filled our small workspace.

I am seriously contemplating sending the direct link for bar results directly to everyone who keeps asking me, and telling them, "If you don't see my name on this list, don't call me." I honestly don't know what would be worse--the public humiliation that would have to be played out over and over as all the people in all the different components of my life ask about it, or the hell of taking the damn thing over again.

Interesting article

Abortion rates same whether legal or not.

Boundaries people!

I swear to god I am a magnet for weirdos. Apparently Pushy Mom called yesterday and chatted with Lucy, our nanny. Pushy Mom told Lucy that she was calling to see if I could pick up her kids from school next week because she was having a medical procedure and her husband would be out of town. Lucy informed her that I have been working this week, my schedule is unpredictable and she doesn't know my availability for next week.

So Pushy Mom asked Lucy if she would pick up her girls! Hello? Am I wrong for thinking that was totally inappropriate? I pay Lucy to take care of my children. It is not fair for her to feel obligated by my acquaintances or to have to take on extra duties on their behalf. And anybody with half a brain should know this. I mean, would you ask my housekeeper to come mop your floor? Besides the issues of 1) Lucy is a complete stranger to this woman, and 2) Lucy drives a car that doesn't hold 5 children.

So today I will have to call and lay down the line with Pushy Mom. I am great at being confrontational in a lawyerly sense, but not so great with interpersonal relationships. I have a tendency to be blunt and burn bridges. I am trying to break this habit. Especially in this situation, since our daughters are friends and I will likely have to deal with this woman for at least the next few years. On the other hand, Pushy Mom has revealed a lot of personal information in the last couple of days that has convinced me to rein in this relationship. My children will not be spending time at her house. But I don't know that its fair to our daughters to completely cut off their relationship.

Why can't my children make friends with normal parents?

Getting Better

I was called in by contract firm yesterday to draft the petition from the research I did last week. Yea! Moving up to document drafting seems to be a good sign--more responsibility anyway. Then a minor emergency came up late yesterday afternoon and I was assigned to address it. I didn't get home until 10:00 last night. Partner just called and seemed pleased with my work and told me that he had more projects for me but needed time to organize.

More good news, I got an email setting up an interview for next week with a small plaintiff's firm. Still haven't heard back on the clerking position, but I didn't really expect to before the end of this week.

DH has an interview today. He has been looking since early summer, but unlike me he is in a position to be picky about what he accepts and nothing has panned out yet. Oh yeah, and the MRI of his kidney cyst came back ok, so we were pleased to hear that he is not expected to die any time soon. And now we have $800 worth of pictures of his insides.

So I guess I should have taken a poll...

...before going with Google Reader. I really didn't know whether Google or Bloglines was better, but I was more familiar with Google products so I just went with that. So far it seems to be working ok, and I am too lazy to move everything to try out Bloglines.

Meanwhile, not much going on here. It was kinda rainy today so I made a super yummy potato corn chowder. After three years of take-out and frozen dinners I had almost forgotten that I am a pretty decent cook. I am now miserably stuffed.

Work yesterday was much more interesting than the last time. I was glad to have a more intellectually stimulating project, but I don't think I really clicked with that partner. He did say he may need me again next week but to wait until I hear from him. I really need something a little more steady. In addition to the unpredictability in my own life, I hate to keep telling my nanny that I don't know when I will have steady work for her again. And one of these days she's not going to be available when I call.

On the bright side, the name partner who hired me stopped by to say he was glad to see me again. I think he likes me--that has to be a good sign, right?

I finally joined the 21st century...

...and set up Google Reader. Before today, I have been blog-hopping the old fashioned way--by scrolling through my favorites list. Which wasn't really the most efficient way to go about things, since then I had no idea whether a blog had been updated or not. But I am resistant to change and had my little ritual. Once or twice a day I would go through my list in a specific order--not necessarily the order of my list. There are the blogs I check daily, and others I check only once or twice a week. Some even less often, only there for when I am really bored. So I am giving up my ritual, because now Google will tell me what's new. We'll see how it goes.

P.S. Contract firm called this morning and a different partner wants me to come in tomorrow for a project--yea!

Road Trip

The girls had no school today for some completely random reason, so we decided to take the girls to a wildlife preserve. It was awesome and we all had a great time. On of the first things we saw was this guy:The girls were tossing him food pellets out the window, but apparently he was not getting enough, because all of the sudden he reached in the window and stole the entire bag of food right from TT's lap! DH had to go rescue the bag of food.

A few minutes later, this guy popped his head in my window, like a jack-in-the-box:

This guy is huge and has enormous antlers, but is very sweet and gentle:

The zebras were very friendly and would block the road until you stopped and fed them. One even tried to chew on our dashboard through the window. Doesn't he just look like he's posing for the camera:

This guy's saying, "Hey, y'all got any food in there?"

Yeah, we've got food.

The highlight of our day was definitely the giraffes. Partly because TT is a giraffe freak, so her excitement was contagious. But the giraffes were all very sweet and friendly and ate right out of all of our hands.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse

Today I got a rejection letter from a firm that I swear I have never applied with. And it's BigLaw, so I am pretty sure I would remember. (Besides, I have a spreadsheet to keep track of these things.) I think it is not a good sign when I am rejected before I even apply.

Kickin' it old school

DH installed NES emulators on all of our computers, so now we all fight over who gets to play Mario Bros. The kids love it. We had been contemplating getting some kind of game console as a family gift for Christmas this year, but who needs a Wii when you can save the princess on your own PC?

P.S. DH had his urologist appt. today. Not worried about the prostate, but there is a cyst on his kidney that is concerning (the GP mentioned it, but didn't seem concerned), so he has an MRI tomorrow. And the uro. ordered more tests to work on the recurring kidney stone problem.

Here we go again

Had another interview this morning. I was really apathetic going in. I have reached the point where I feel interviews are a waste of time because I never even get so far as a second interview. (Have I mentioned that I got the rejection letter from suburban DA's office? Other than being another kick in the gut while I was already down, I am ok with it. It was really too far to drive and I loathe the thought of selling my house right now.) Anyway, this was a for a law clerk position with the criminal courts in Big City. When I initially applied, I really wanted this job. But I applied about 6 weeks ago, and had nearly forgotten about it by the time they called for an interview. And over that time the interest kind of wore off--it would be all research, I wouldn't get to litigate and it's government so it wouldn't pay well.

But after the interview, I really want this job. That scares me, because it is hard enough to take rejection when I don't really care about the job--I don't want to deal with rejection from a job I really want. But this would give me great experience, put me in the perfect position to meet everyone remotely involved in crim law in Big City, and be a great way to start my career. Even the interviewer pointed out that most clerks get stolen by the DA or someone else--which is exactly what I was hoping for. Even thought I am occasionally blinded by visions of big money, my real goal has always been to work in the DA's office.

Overall the interview went ok. It was very relaxed and the chief interviewer was very nice and laid back. But then I discovered that one of the other interviewers just came over from the DA's office and she is the person that I had to pester to get the info I wanted for a paper I wrote last year. She remembered me and that I had to go through one of the judges to get the information I was seeking. I'm not sure that this is going to bode well for me.

So now I am desperately wanting this job, but not optimistic. They said they were doing interviews the rest of this week and into next week. I don't think that I have ever gotten a job that I actually had to compete for. Apparently charisma is not my virtue, and someone else always looks more appealing than me. Everyone I have actually worked for has praised my work--but I swear there were no other applicants for those positions and I was always hired on the spot. Maybe they just all had really low standards.

In slightly self-esteem raising news, I finally heard back from contract firm today--9 days after submitting my final work. The partner I had been working for had a family emergency and has been out for the last week and will likely be out another week. I was told that she had reviewed my work and it was fine, and she just wanted to let me know why I had received no contact and have me resubmit my billables so that I would get paid. At least now I know that my recent unemployment is not because of anything I have done.