Til bar results come out. I'm beginning to freak out a little. I am being asked about it more and more. A couple of nights ago DH asked when exactly they are out, and then I did not sleep at all because I was playing out the possible scenarios in my mind all night.
I definitely want to be alone on that day. I just can't imagine being in an office and having to deal with people and then actually make my way home if I fail. And I want to be able to scream and dance if I pass. I told DH that no matter what, we needed to book a sitter because I am getting sloshed that night.
I remember when results came out last year. There were two recent grads working in the clinic. All day long people were in and out asking, "Do you know yet?" I happened to be in the clinic when the results came in--late afternoon. I was in the office of one when I heard a yelp from the other office. Of course, we all knew what it was. And then the one whose office I was in burst into tears. It was very uncomfortable, the range of emotions that suddenly filled our small workspace.
I am seriously contemplating sending the direct link for bar results directly to everyone who keeps asking me, and telling them, "If you don't see my name on this list, don't call me." I honestly don't know what would be worse--the public humiliation that would have to be played out over and over as all the people in all the different components of my life ask about it, or the hell of taking the damn thing over again.