Part 1 and Part 2 are below.
That evening, things got a little better. My husband had found the website for the TTTS Foundation and emailed them. Mary from the foundation called me and discussed my diagnosis. She explained exactly what was going on and what I could do to help my babies. Basically my babies were connected through their shared placenta. One was taking all of the blood and nutrients from the other. This was bad for both babies, because the “donor” who was giving all of the blood to the “recipient” was likely to be undernourished. The “recipient” was getting too much for her little heart to deal with and was subject to heart failure. Furthermore, the recipient who was getting so much blood and nourishment would urinate more, creating too much amniotic fluid, putting the bag of waters at risk of rupturing. The donor¸ who was not receiving enough nutrition was not urinating, and had very little amniotic fluid, also a dangerous situation.
Mary told me that I needed to be on bed rest, so that as much of my blood as possible was going to my babies, and to drink Ensure, to give my babies extra protein. She also discussed treatment options with me. The only two realistic options were amniotic fluid reductions and in-utero laser surgery. The laser surgery basically blasted away all of the connections that the babies shared so that they could no longer send nutrients back and forth. This was considered experimental by many, in fact my peri considered the whole concept ridiculous, and I did not know if my insurance would cover it. Also it is only performed in four hospitals in the US, none anywhere near me. The second option was amniotic fluid reductions. It is the same thing as an amniocentesis, in which a long needle is inserted into the belly and through the uterus, except that much more fluid is drawn off. This basically only treats one of the symptoms of TTTS, not the cause as is the case of the laser surgery. Both treatments had similar outcomes, although the amniotic fluid reductions could be done almost anywhere. Mary also recommended that I have weekly ultrasounds to monitor the changes in my babies, since things could progress very quickly.
That night I saw my OB and he confirmed the grim statistics that I had already discovered. He admitted that he had not seen a case of TTTS with a positive outcome and told me that it was now in God’s hands. I appreciated his honesty. He did not know much about the laser surgery, but promised to look into it and to support me in whatever treatment option I choose. He sent me home from the hospital that night, on bed rest, knowing that I needed to be with my family now, and fearing that I would have many days ahead of me in the hospital.
The next day I contacted one of the surgeons who performed the laser surgery. He repeated much of the information I had already heard from Mary. He told me what to watch for and what to ask my doctors to determine the severity of my condition. When I saw my peri the next time I tried to ask him those questions and discuss treatment options. He told me that fluid reductions were the only option he would consider and did not answer my questions. He also did not think weekly ultrasounds were necessary, despite the fact that there had been significant change between the last two appointments. I immediately resolved to find a new peri.
I contacted the surgeon once again and he put me in touch with a local peri that he had worked with in the past. She was wonderful. She was a mom of twins herself and had a much better understanding of what I was going through. She sat down and explained everything to me as my previous peri had not done. She also told me that our goal would be to get to 35 weeks. It is rare for TTTS babies to make it to term because it is often safer for them to be delivered early than to remain inside the womb. Once we hit 28 weeks, when the babies would have a good chance of survival, she would monitor whether the babies were better off inside or out. Of course there was always the chance that my membranes would rupture from the extra fluid.
I had an ultrasound that day, and she immediately called the laser surgeon to discuss the results. Together they determined that I did not yet need treatment, but that I would have weekly monitoring and it could become a possibility in the future. Meanwhile I contacted my insurance about paying for the surgery, should it become necessary. They had already assigned me a caseworker, since I had been hospitalized so many times, and she began gathering data about the surgery. It would have to go before a board to be approved.
The next week I saw my peri again. Things had changed the “recipient’ had way too much fluid, and it could start causing problems. My peri and the surgeon decided to go ahead with an amniotic fluid reduction. Since discordant fluid was the only symptom I was currently showing, it seemed the most logical route. I thought they would bring me back the next day for the fluid reduction, but she was going to do it right then, in her office.
I had never had an amniocentesis before because I had been too scared. Now I had no choice and no time to prepare. I laid on my back with my belly poking in the air as the doctor swabbed it with iodine. Then came the biggest needle I had ever seen. I had had plenty of experience with needles at this point, but I was terrified of this one. When she inserted the needle I only felt a little prick as it when through the skin. But when it went through my uterus, I started contracting. It was only a mild contraction, a reaction to the needle, and it was over quickly, although there would be more to come throughout the procedure. The doctor drew the fluid out with a giant syringe, and then dumped it into a big plastic bottle, over and over again. Lying flat on my back I started to get dizzy. The doctor and her assistant had to roll me over and my husband shoved towels under my back, all while the needle was still sticking out of my belly. Finally after 20 minutes it was over. A few light contractions, but that was all. No big deal. The doctor wanted to see me again by the end of the week to make sure my fluid levels had not gone back up.
I ended up having three more fluid reductions over the next few weeks, at one time drawing out more than a half gallon of fluid. My doctor stayed in close contact with the surgeon, but they never determined that the laser surgery was necessary. Fortunately mine was a milder case of TTTS, and my girls never showed and heart problems or great growth discordance. Only the fluid was a problem, and it was treated by simply removing the excess. At 35 weeks into my pregnancy, my TTTS symptoms started to disappear. That magical 35 weeks, our original goal for delivering healthy babies, and it now looked like we were going to surpass it.
As it turned out, I went to 39 weeks, before I was finally induced. After all the worry and the bedrest, it seemed that my girls were perfectly happy where they were. My OB tried to start labor by breaking my bag of waters, that which had been so at risk for breaking on its own, which had been over-inflated and deflated again like a child’s balloon, which had been pricked over and over during the amniocentesis. The only problem was that my membranes wouldn’t rupture. I guess they had to have been made of tough stuff to have survived all they had already been through, and after several minutes of some discomfort, my OB finally gave up. Instead they started me on pitocin to start contractions. Every hour they raised the dose, but my contractions were neither hard nor productive.
After about 6 hours my OB tried to break the bag of waters again, finally success! I began to have steady contractions that were finally becoming painful. I held off getting an epidural because I didn’t want to slow down my labor. Finally after an hour the pain was intense and I wanted relief. The nurse called for the epidural without doing a cervical check, and by the time it was in, I was feeling real pressure. The nurse did a check and found I was at a 10 and ready to go. What’s more, one of the babies’ heart rates was dropping. I have never seen people move so fast.
They rushed me to an OR, where they delivered all twins. About two minutes and three pushes later, TT was out. I found out later that the doctor had used forceps to help pull her out because of her dropping heart rate. She was pale, but she cried soon, and after receiving fluids for a couple of hours, she was perfectly healthy. I didn’t have much time to think about her because SS was right on her heels.
We knew that SS was breech. The doctor was going to try to turn her around after I delivered TT. He called for the assistance of one of his associates, but before he could even get the words out, there was SS, feet first. And there I had my two beautiful little miracles. After a long physically and emotionally draining pregnancy, I had the easiest delivery that I could have wished for, and two beautiful, perfectly healthy babies.
5/13/07
How I became a mom, Part 2
Part 1 is below.
I loved staying home with PS, and DH and I decided that she needed a little brother or sister. We wanted the siblings to be 2-3 years apart, so we started trying when PS was about 18 months old. I hadn't given up all hope of every having a career or law school, but we decided that we might as well complete our family first.
After several months of trying, I was pregnant again. I had to find a new doctor because my last one was no longer taking any insurance.
Two weeks after I found out about the pregnancy the nausea began creeping in like a fog. I tried to ignore the first twinges of nausea, but soon I was vomiting. At first it was only once or twice a day, but by the end of that week it was many times a day, even when my stomach was completely empty. I knew I was seriously dehydrated. I felt like I was dying of thirst, yet everything I tried to drink came right back up. Food was out of the question. I called my new doctor and met him for the first time when I was sent to the ER for rehydration. I immediately liked him, but I don’t think he understood how severe my situation could become. I was given three bags of basic saline through the IV and gave me a prescription for Zofran. I went home knowing that my problem was just beginning. I had been through this before.
A few days later I was back to square one. The Zofran was not even touching my nausea. I called the doc again, and he sent me right up to the OB ward. I was started on IVs to rehydrate me. I still could not keep anything down, but at least I was staying hydrated. Fluids through my arm were the only thing keeping my alive, and I couldn’t imagine how my baby would survive if I was not eating anything. My doctors ran batteries of tests, but could not figure out what was making me so sick. They continued with the IV treatment, and my arms and hands were now various shades of blue, yellow and green from the bruising. The nurses had trouble finding my veins because I was so dehydrated, and they rarely got the IV in place on the first stick. I was also having blood drawn every morning. I looked like a drug addict with needle marks left down my arms, wrists and the outside of my hands. The IV’s had to be changed out every three days, if something didn’t cause a problem before then.
Finally, my team of doctors came to the conclusion that I needed some kind of nourishment beyond what was being given through my IV. They put a tube down my nose and ran it past my stomach into my intestines. That was the most miserable two hours of my life. Then I vomited up the feeding tube. The only option left was a central line, basically another IV put into my chest into a major artery, and through which I could receive nutrition. It would require a surgical procedure to place the line, and it would be semi-permanent, staying in place until the nausea had subsided for good. My OB’s were very concerned about this. They told me that the risk of infection was high and that it could cause serious problems or even death. I was told to consider terminating my pregnancy, because it was now posing a serious threat to my health.
Until this point, I had only been considering my unborn child. Now I had to consider the impact my decision would have on the child I already had. Was it fair for me to risk her growing up without a mother for the sake of another child who was not even here yet? How could I choose between myself and my baby? I prayed to God to take my baby or make the vomiting stop. I could not make such a decision.
That night, reaching for an explanation of my sickness, I asked my OB if I might be carrying more than one baby. I knew that mothers of multiples were subject to more severe morning sickness, and while I had dealt with hyperemesis in the past it was much worse this time. She doubtfully admitted it was possible. The next morning I got my first ultrasound, six weeks into my pregnancy. The perinatologist who was performing the procedure never looked up from the screen when he asked, “Have you been taking fertility drugs?” As my husband stood by looking shocked, I answered no and replied “How many are in there?”
Twins, I was having twins, and they looked to be identical and perfectly healthy, with strong little heartbeats. I was thrilled and in total disbelief. I could not understand how I was keeping one baby alive and healthy, much less two! What’s more, I finally had a reason behind all the sickness, and I was going to get two babies for all my trouble. There would be no more talk of terminating. Even my doctors seemed to have strengthened resolve to find a way to make me better.
Finally my wonderful GI, who had been working closely with my OB’s all along found out about an experimental procedure using steroids to control nausea. We did not really know what effects this would have on my babies, but my perinatologist assured me that only a very small portion of this drug crossed the placenta and it was unlikely to harm my babies. The bigger danger was that I was literally starving to death, and this looked like a way to stop that. They started with the steroids in my IV, and once they started controlling the nausea, I was able to start taking pills. After only a couple of days the nausea was gone. I was able to finally start eating and drinking again, and I could go home. I was to be slowly weaned off the steroids over the next two weeks, and hopefully by the end of that time I would be far enough into my pregnancy that the nausea would be gone for good.
It wasn’t quite that simple, I had to go through two more rounds of the streroids, before I got rid of the nausea for good. Whenever I got near the end of a round of steroids the nausea would return, and I would have to be readmitted to the hospital to get the steroids through the IV and start again. On that third try, now 16 weeks into my pregnancy, I was admitted to the hospital for the last time after spending 30 days over five different admissions. After a few days I was feeling better, but my doctor was being cautious and making sure the nausea was gone before releasing me.
One morning I went for another ultrasound with the same peri who had found my twins. On this visit I found that I was having two girls! I also found out that they had a condition called twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. I had read a bit about this in some of my pregnancy books, but I had no idea how serious it was. I had my husband bring a laptop up to the hospital that day so that I could do some research and find out what was really going on. The peri hadn’t told me much and I would not see my OB until that evening. What I found was unsettling. TTTS, if left untreated had a mortality rate of 90%. Even with treatment, some of which is considered experimental, survival is less than 50% for one twin and 30% for both babies . That day, for the first time, I lost it. I cried all day long. After all that I had already gone through, my babies weren’t going to live.
I loved staying home with PS, and DH and I decided that she needed a little brother or sister. We wanted the siblings to be 2-3 years apart, so we started trying when PS was about 18 months old. I hadn't given up all hope of every having a career or law school, but we decided that we might as well complete our family first.
After several months of trying, I was pregnant again. I had to find a new doctor because my last one was no longer taking any insurance.
Two weeks after I found out about the pregnancy the nausea began creeping in like a fog. I tried to ignore the first twinges of nausea, but soon I was vomiting. At first it was only once or twice a day, but by the end of that week it was many times a day, even when my stomach was completely empty. I knew I was seriously dehydrated. I felt like I was dying of thirst, yet everything I tried to drink came right back up. Food was out of the question. I called my new doctor and met him for the first time when I was sent to the ER for rehydration. I immediately liked him, but I don’t think he understood how severe my situation could become. I was given three bags of basic saline through the IV and gave me a prescription for Zofran. I went home knowing that my problem was just beginning. I had been through this before.
A few days later I was back to square one. The Zofran was not even touching my nausea. I called the doc again, and he sent me right up to the OB ward. I was started on IVs to rehydrate me. I still could not keep anything down, but at least I was staying hydrated. Fluids through my arm were the only thing keeping my alive, and I couldn’t imagine how my baby would survive if I was not eating anything. My doctors ran batteries of tests, but could not figure out what was making me so sick. They continued with the IV treatment, and my arms and hands were now various shades of blue, yellow and green from the bruising. The nurses had trouble finding my veins because I was so dehydrated, and they rarely got the IV in place on the first stick. I was also having blood drawn every morning. I looked like a drug addict with needle marks left down my arms, wrists and the outside of my hands. The IV’s had to be changed out every three days, if something didn’t cause a problem before then.
Finally, my team of doctors came to the conclusion that I needed some kind of nourishment beyond what was being given through my IV. They put a tube down my nose and ran it past my stomach into my intestines. That was the most miserable two hours of my life. Then I vomited up the feeding tube. The only option left was a central line, basically another IV put into my chest into a major artery, and through which I could receive nutrition. It would require a surgical procedure to place the line, and it would be semi-permanent, staying in place until the nausea had subsided for good. My OB’s were very concerned about this. They told me that the risk of infection was high and that it could cause serious problems or even death. I was told to consider terminating my pregnancy, because it was now posing a serious threat to my health.
Until this point, I had only been considering my unborn child. Now I had to consider the impact my decision would have on the child I already had. Was it fair for me to risk her growing up without a mother for the sake of another child who was not even here yet? How could I choose between myself and my baby? I prayed to God to take my baby or make the vomiting stop. I could not make such a decision.
That night, reaching for an explanation of my sickness, I asked my OB if I might be carrying more than one baby. I knew that mothers of multiples were subject to more severe morning sickness, and while I had dealt with hyperemesis in the past it was much worse this time. She doubtfully admitted it was possible. The next morning I got my first ultrasound, six weeks into my pregnancy. The perinatologist who was performing the procedure never looked up from the screen when he asked, “Have you been taking fertility drugs?” As my husband stood by looking shocked, I answered no and replied “How many are in there?”
Twins, I was having twins, and they looked to be identical and perfectly healthy, with strong little heartbeats. I was thrilled and in total disbelief. I could not understand how I was keeping one baby alive and healthy, much less two! What’s more, I finally had a reason behind all the sickness, and I was going to get two babies for all my trouble. There would be no more talk of terminating. Even my doctors seemed to have strengthened resolve to find a way to make me better.
Finally my wonderful GI, who had been working closely with my OB’s all along found out about an experimental procedure using steroids to control nausea. We did not really know what effects this would have on my babies, but my perinatologist assured me that only a very small portion of this drug crossed the placenta and it was unlikely to harm my babies. The bigger danger was that I was literally starving to death, and this looked like a way to stop that. They started with the steroids in my IV, and once they started controlling the nausea, I was able to start taking pills. After only a couple of days the nausea was gone. I was able to finally start eating and drinking again, and I could go home. I was to be slowly weaned off the steroids over the next two weeks, and hopefully by the end of that time I would be far enough into my pregnancy that the nausea would be gone for good.
It wasn’t quite that simple, I had to go through two more rounds of the streroids, before I got rid of the nausea for good. Whenever I got near the end of a round of steroids the nausea would return, and I would have to be readmitted to the hospital to get the steroids through the IV and start again. On that third try, now 16 weeks into my pregnancy, I was admitted to the hospital for the last time after spending 30 days over five different admissions. After a few days I was feeling better, but my doctor was being cautious and making sure the nausea was gone before releasing me.
One morning I went for another ultrasound with the same peri who had found my twins. On this visit I found that I was having two girls! I also found out that they had a condition called twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. I had read a bit about this in some of my pregnancy books, but I had no idea how serious it was. I had my husband bring a laptop up to the hospital that day so that I could do some research and find out what was really going on. The peri hadn’t told me much and I would not see my OB until that evening. What I found was unsettling. TTTS, if left untreated had a mortality rate of 90%. Even with treatment, some of which is considered experimental, survival is less than 50% for one twin and 30% for both babies . That day, for the first time, I lost it. I cried all day long. After all that I had already gone through, my babies weren’t going to live.
How I came to be a mom
I got pregnant with PS the day I graduated from college. She was not planned. I never could remember to take the darn pill, and I guess too much celebrating led us to be less careful than we should have been. Although DH and I had already been married for two years, having kids was not even on the horizon. I had already sent out my first batch of law school apps when I discovered that PS was on the way. I was devastated. She would be due in September, and I just knew that I could not start law school and have a baby in the same month.
Within a couple of weeks the morning sickness became so severe that I could hardly function. Turns out that I was suffering from an extreme version of morning sickness known as hyperemesis. I couldn't keep anything down and lost nearly 30 lbs. (I was 135 to start.) Every few days I was back in the hospital for IV rehydration. Eventually, the doctor put me on IV rehydration therapy at home. I had a little backpack to carry my IV pump in and every third day a home health nurse would come by to move the needle. This continued for most of the first trimester. When I finally went back to work, I had barely enough energy to walk across the room.
But once the hyperemesis finally subsided into "normal' morning sickness, I could at least function again. When I was about 4-5 months and started to feel PS move, I became more excited about her upcoming arrival. I could put law school off for a year--no big deal.
I had been the primary support for Dh and I for the last year. I was working full time, and earning more than twice what he was. Dh was still in school and was doing a low-paying internship that we hoped would be worth the sacrifice in experience gained. DH was supposed to graduate in August. PS was due in September. As both days drew nearer and DH still did not have a job, we both became more and more stressed. I did not know how we would pay the bills when I took off to have the baby, and I really wanted to be able to stay home with her for the first year.
Finally, in late July, DH was offered a position. It was the one he has now, in Big City--300 miles from our little college town. They told him that he could wait until after the baby was born to start, but we knew that we needed the income as soon as possible. So, at 8 months pregnant, we drove to Big City to find an apartment, and just three weeks before PS was born we moved. It was 113 outside the day we moved into our new apartment.
Although early on we had warned my OB/GYN that we would likely be moving before the baby was born, he was livid when I told him that we were moving and he would not be delivering her. He refused to give me a referral in Big City, and told me that no doctor would take me that late in my pregnancy. My reply was that the baby was gonna have to come out one way or another.
As it turned out, the first doctor that I called was willing to take me and she was fantastic.
Very early on September 24th, I woke up thinking I'd wet myself. It had never happened before, but considering the pressure my huge belly was putting on my bladder, anything was possible. I woke up two hours later with the same sensation. Then it dawned on me that perhaps my water had broken and this was a slow leak. Not wanting to unnecessarily disturb my doctor in the middle of the night, I waited until 7:00 am to call, and was told to come in immediately for a check. Irregular contractions started on the way to the hospital. I think DH hit every bump in the road along the way.
While we were sitting in the exam room waiting for the doctor, the flood came. Water started gushing out. At first I thought I was peeing--and I was really embarrassed. But it kept coming and coming--clearly this had nothing to do with my bladder. I started laughing and begging DH to do something to help me. He was simply stunned and absolutely helpless. He said, "How am I supposed to help with this?" I said, "I dunno, get a mop." We were both laughing so hard we had tears running down our faces when the doctor appeared. The flooded floor immediately gave away that my water had indeed broken. DH still counts that as the funniest moment of his entire life.
I was wheeled down to L&D and put on a pit drip. I wasn't very excited about that, but I was too young and timid around the doctor to speak up for myself. L&D was no big deal. Contractions were not nearly as bad as I had anticipated, but then again, I had an epidural fairly early on. I pushed for 2 hours, and could not pop the little critter out. Finally, the doc said that she could either vacuum her out or do a c-section. I wasn't excited about either option, but the doc convinced me that the vacuum was the safest option.
When she was born, DD had a pointy little conehead from the vacuum. She was a fat healthy baby, weighing in at 8 lbs. She had no problems latching on and breastfeeding was a breeze. I instantly adored her. She spent her entire time in the hospital sleeping with me or on DH's chest. The nurses had told me that if I slept, they would take her out of the room--so I didn't sleep unless she was with me. I was paranoid that they would take her and either accidentally switch her (I had just seen a 20/20 about that) or give her a bottle. We only spent one night in the hospital when I asked to go home so that I could rest without fear of the evil nurses taking her.
I loved being a mom and staying home with my baby. Law school fell to the back of my mind. I briefly considered going back to work when she was a year old, but I simply couldn't imagine leaving my sweet baby in daycare. Instead, I committed myself to being a SAHM.
Within a couple of weeks the morning sickness became so severe that I could hardly function. Turns out that I was suffering from an extreme version of morning sickness known as hyperemesis. I couldn't keep anything down and lost nearly 30 lbs. (I was 135 to start.) Every few days I was back in the hospital for IV rehydration. Eventually, the doctor put me on IV rehydration therapy at home. I had a little backpack to carry my IV pump in and every third day a home health nurse would come by to move the needle. This continued for most of the first trimester. When I finally went back to work, I had barely enough energy to walk across the room.
But once the hyperemesis finally subsided into "normal' morning sickness, I could at least function again. When I was about 4-5 months and started to feel PS move, I became more excited about her upcoming arrival. I could put law school off for a year--no big deal.
I had been the primary support for Dh and I for the last year. I was working full time, and earning more than twice what he was. Dh was still in school and was doing a low-paying internship that we hoped would be worth the sacrifice in experience gained. DH was supposed to graduate in August. PS was due in September. As both days drew nearer and DH still did not have a job, we both became more and more stressed. I did not know how we would pay the bills when I took off to have the baby, and I really wanted to be able to stay home with her for the first year.
Finally, in late July, DH was offered a position. It was the one he has now, in Big City--300 miles from our little college town. They told him that he could wait until after the baby was born to start, but we knew that we needed the income as soon as possible. So, at 8 months pregnant, we drove to Big City to find an apartment, and just three weeks before PS was born we moved. It was 113 outside the day we moved into our new apartment.
Although early on we had warned my OB/GYN that we would likely be moving before the baby was born, he was livid when I told him that we were moving and he would not be delivering her. He refused to give me a referral in Big City, and told me that no doctor would take me that late in my pregnancy. My reply was that the baby was gonna have to come out one way or another.
As it turned out, the first doctor that I called was willing to take me and she was fantastic.
Very early on September 24th, I woke up thinking I'd wet myself. It had never happened before, but considering the pressure my huge belly was putting on my bladder, anything was possible. I woke up two hours later with the same sensation. Then it dawned on me that perhaps my water had broken and this was a slow leak. Not wanting to unnecessarily disturb my doctor in the middle of the night, I waited until 7:00 am to call, and was told to come in immediately for a check. Irregular contractions started on the way to the hospital. I think DH hit every bump in the road along the way.
While we were sitting in the exam room waiting for the doctor, the flood came. Water started gushing out. At first I thought I was peeing--and I was really embarrassed. But it kept coming and coming--clearly this had nothing to do with my bladder. I started laughing and begging DH to do something to help me. He was simply stunned and absolutely helpless. He said, "How am I supposed to help with this?" I said, "I dunno, get a mop." We were both laughing so hard we had tears running down our faces when the doctor appeared. The flooded floor immediately gave away that my water had indeed broken. DH still counts that as the funniest moment of his entire life.
I was wheeled down to L&D and put on a pit drip. I wasn't very excited about that, but I was too young and timid around the doctor to speak up for myself. L&D was no big deal. Contractions were not nearly as bad as I had anticipated, but then again, I had an epidural fairly early on. I pushed for 2 hours, and could not pop the little critter out. Finally, the doc said that she could either vacuum her out or do a c-section. I wasn't excited about either option, but the doc convinced me that the vacuum was the safest option.
When she was born, DD had a pointy little conehead from the vacuum. She was a fat healthy baby, weighing in at 8 lbs. She had no problems latching on and breastfeeding was a breeze. I instantly adored her. She spent her entire time in the hospital sleeping with me or on DH's chest. The nurses had told me that if I slept, they would take her out of the room--so I didn't sleep unless she was with me. I was paranoid that they would take her and either accidentally switch her (I had just seen a 20/20 about that) or give her a bottle. We only spent one night in the hospital when I asked to go home so that I could rest without fear of the evil nurses taking her.
I loved being a mom and staying home with my baby. Law school fell to the back of my mind. I briefly considered going back to work when she was a year old, but I simply couldn't imagine leaving my sweet baby in daycare. Instead, I committed myself to being a SAHM.
5/12/07
Just Stuff
I have one week of freedom before I enter the 7th circle of Hell aka Barbri. I will spend it going over my PMBR books (the course would be next week, if I were taking it), searching for jobs, and cleaning house before company arrives for graduation.
I won't count the last two days, because although I was done with school on Wednesday, I spent all of Thursday and Friday at the kids' school for their field days. I usually don't mind the kids' school functions, but field day is hot and boring and lasts all day. For PS's field day, we went to the high school stadium so they could run their events on a real track. PS did the 50 yd dash. She came in last in her heat. She has been telling us all year that she is the slowest runner in the class. She is having to come to terms with the fact that she can't be good at everything. I told her that she has been gifted with beauty and brains and she can't expect athleticism on top of that. I think she got over it pretty quickly.
DH and I went out last night to celebrate the end of law school. We never go out alone, so it was a treat. We went to Benihana because neither of us had ever been before and we thought it would be a fun experience. The food was just ok, and our chef just wasn't nearly as in to it as some of the others were. It was nice to try something different, but I'm in no hurry to return.
Then we went to a tiny theater that I don't even know how to describe. It specializes in the melodrama and strongly encourages audience participation. They even give you baskets of popcorn to throw at the actors--or each other. Think "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." But less musical. It was really a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I have developed a nasty sinus infection which kind of put a damper on the evening.
I am planning to spend all of today sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself because I feel like I have been run over by a truck. But that's ok, because this is the first weekend in forever that I haven't had anything in the world that had to get done, and that is a nice feeling.
I won't count the last two days, because although I was done with school on Wednesday, I spent all of Thursday and Friday at the kids' school for their field days. I usually don't mind the kids' school functions, but field day is hot and boring and lasts all day. For PS's field day, we went to the high school stadium so they could run their events on a real track. PS did the 50 yd dash. She came in last in her heat. She has been telling us all year that she is the slowest runner in the class. She is having to come to terms with the fact that she can't be good at everything. I told her that she has been gifted with beauty and brains and she can't expect athleticism on top of that. I think she got over it pretty quickly.
DH and I went out last night to celebrate the end of law school. We never go out alone, so it was a treat. We went to Benihana because neither of us had ever been before and we thought it would be a fun experience. The food was just ok, and our chef just wasn't nearly as in to it as some of the others were. It was nice to try something different, but I'm in no hurry to return.
Then we went to a tiny theater that I don't even know how to describe. It specializes in the melodrama and strongly encourages audience participation. They even give you baskets of popcorn to throw at the actors--or each other. Think "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." But less musical. It was really a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I have developed a nasty sinus infection which kind of put a damper on the evening.
I am planning to spend all of today sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself because I feel like I have been run over by a truck. But that's ok, because this is the first weekend in forever that I haven't had anything in the world that had to get done, and that is a nice feeling.
5/9/07
That's all, folks.
Today was my last day of school. When I was preparing to leave and driving to school I thought that I should feel a sense of joy, or relief, or some positive emotion. Instead I was overcome with a profound sense of sadness. I became acutely aware that I don't want to graduate. I have truly enjoyed law school. I have enjoyed learning, but also, the ability to (except this semester) arrange my schedule to be home with the girls in the afternoon and I got to have lunch with DH a lot. I had a plan, things to accomplish, hurdles to jump.
Now I have jumped all hurdles but the bar. And I don't know what is coming next. I am more afraid of having to take a job that I hate than in not getting a job at all. Because if I never get an offer, at least I can go solo. But I know that I need more experience and financial stability first, so if I ever get an offer I must take it. And I hate being in that position.
So instead of being happy that I am done, I am depressed about my future. And angry that the options for my future were misrepresented to me. I liked the safety and security of school--moving on without the safety net of a job is undermines the accomplishment that completing law school should be.
P.S. Tonight I am blogging from Margaritaville, so if this post makes no sense, well, you know why.
Now I have jumped all hurdles but the bar. And I don't know what is coming next. I am more afraid of having to take a job that I hate than in not getting a job at all. Because if I never get an offer, at least I can go solo. But I know that I need more experience and financial stability first, so if I ever get an offer I must take it. And I hate being in that position.
So instead of being happy that I am done, I am depressed about my future. And angry that the options for my future were misrepresented to me. I liked the safety and security of school--moving on without the safety net of a job is undermines the accomplishment that completing law school should be.
P.S. Tonight I am blogging from Margaritaville, so if this post makes no sense, well, you know why.
5/8/07
Yep, definitely a conspiracy
SS (the non-strep infected kid) started running a low-grade fever last night. She also has developed a cough. So I kept her home from school today because I assumed that she had picked up strep from her sister.
A not-so-quick trip to the doctor revealed that she does not have strep (although they are doing a culture, so that could change), but that she does have pneumonia. Again. So I lost another half-day of studying and both twins running around like they are perfectly healthy.
Finally got home and my stupid computer is giving me fits. I have rebooted 3 times. This is not making it easy to finish my outline. (No, I have not finished the outline for tomorrow's closed-book exam. Yes, this is a bad thing.)
Picked up PS from school. She has been having issues with not completing her work at school, resulting in loads of homework. This week it has been long division. She is truly having trouble with it, and I am having to walk her through every step. Which is once again keeping me from studying. I don't mind helping with her homework, but she keeps losing focus and asking things like "How to calculators work?"
To wrap up my fabulous and productive day, a "friend" just emailed to ask if I have a job. No I do not have a fucking job. As soon as I have a job I will broadcast it to the world. The next person to ask me that is going to end up with an assault charge against me.
A not-so-quick trip to the doctor revealed that she does not have strep (although they are doing a culture, so that could change), but that she does have pneumonia. Again. So I lost another half-day of studying and both twins running around like they are perfectly healthy.
Finally got home and my stupid computer is giving me fits. I have rebooted 3 times. This is not making it easy to finish my outline. (No, I have not finished the outline for tomorrow's closed-book exam. Yes, this is a bad thing.)
Picked up PS from school. She has been having issues with not completing her work at school, resulting in loads of homework. This week it has been long division. She is truly having trouble with it, and I am having to walk her through every step. Which is once again keeping me from studying. I don't mind helping with her homework, but she keeps losing focus and asking things like "How to calculators work?"
To wrap up my fabulous and productive day, a "friend" just emailed to ask if I have a job. No I do not have a fucking job. As soon as I have a job I will broadcast it to the world. The next person to ask me that is going to end up with an assault charge against me.
5/7/07
Found this while studying tonight
Dr. Zill's Mnemonic Generator
Not sure how useful it is, but some of the mnemonics it comes up with are pretty entertaining.
Not sure how useful it is, but some of the mnemonics it comes up with are pretty entertaining.
They're conspiring against me
I'm not exactly sure who "they" are, but there is definitely a conspiracy to tank my grades.
In addition to my own illness in the middle of my three-day exam-a-thon, two of my kiddos have had weird stuff going on. Last Monday I had to take SS to the doc because she had an insect bite near her eye that swelled to nearly the size of a golf ball. Then on Friday, TT came home and said, "Feel my forehead, I don't feel good." Sure enough she had a fever that wouldn't go away all weekend long. She also has huge tonsils with nasty white stuff on them. The fever was gone and she seemed to be feeling better this morning, but my fears of strep throat kept her home from school and required a visit to the doctor. Yep, it's strep. So now my perky little sickie is home with me today and tomorrow.
So how does all this play into the conspiracy? Well, for starters, every time I have to drive across town to the doctor it takes away about 3 hours of desperately needed study time. And having my little darling home with me isn't helping either. Kids are demanding when they are sick--or even when they are feeling better and know they can get away with it. And she has no playmates, because her sisters at school.
Also, there is a very good chance that at least one of her sisters will pick up this little illness, requiring the whole trip-to-the-doctor-while-not-getting-anything-done-at-home scenario to play out once again. I only hope that I can keep the germs at bay until I finish my Oil and Gas exam Wednesday night.
Oh, and if you still don't believe that there is a conspiracy, just look at what was going on last year during finals.
In addition to my own illness in the middle of my three-day exam-a-thon, two of my kiddos have had weird stuff going on. Last Monday I had to take SS to the doc because she had an insect bite near her eye that swelled to nearly the size of a golf ball. Then on Friday, TT came home and said, "Feel my forehead, I don't feel good." Sure enough she had a fever that wouldn't go away all weekend long. She also has huge tonsils with nasty white stuff on them. The fever was gone and she seemed to be feeling better this morning, but my fears of strep throat kept her home from school and required a visit to the doctor. Yep, it's strep. So now my perky little sickie is home with me today and tomorrow.
So how does all this play into the conspiracy? Well, for starters, every time I have to drive across town to the doctor it takes away about 3 hours of desperately needed study time. And having my little darling home with me isn't helping either. Kids are demanding when they are sick--or even when they are feeling better and know they can get away with it. And she has no playmates, because her sisters at school.
Also, there is a very good chance that at least one of her sisters will pick up this little illness, requiring the whole trip-to-the-doctor-while-not-getting-anything-done-at-home scenario to play out once again. I only hope that I can keep the germs at bay until I finish my Oil and Gas exam Wednesday night.
Oh, and if you still don't believe that there is a conspiracy, just look at what was going on last year during finals.
5/6/07
Sunday mornings
This morning both twins crawled in bed with us. SS on DH's side, TT on mine. I love it when they press their warm little bodies against mine and tuck their heads under my chin so that I can inhale the watermelon scent of their hair. They used to climb in our bed every weekend morning, but for the last few months it has become a rarity. Spongebob is now preferred to mom and dad. It was a nice to have a morning snuggle with the girls.
5/4/07
It's gotta get better
I talked to a friend today who just found out he passed the February bar. He was one of my study mates 1L, and decided to graduate a semester early. He also just got a job offer--for a job that I would love.
I'm a little bit jealous that he has all this great stuff going on, but mostly I am really, really happy for him. His successes just seem to make everything seem more possible for me. Yeah, he was unemployed until bar results came out--but he got an offer almost instantly. And just the fact that he passed the bar in some way confirms that I, too, will pass the bar.
So, I'm in a better mood, just knowing that great things are happening for my friends, and that things should get better for me, too.
But now, I have to leave for my Wills & Trusts exam. Things aren't quite so great yet.
I'm a little bit jealous that he has all this great stuff going on, but mostly I am really, really happy for him. His successes just seem to make everything seem more possible for me. Yeah, he was unemployed until bar results came out--but he got an offer almost instantly. And just the fact that he passed the bar in some way confirms that I, too, will pass the bar.
So, I'm in a better mood, just knowing that great things are happening for my friends, and that things should get better for me, too.
But now, I have to leave for my Wills & Trusts exam. Things aren't quite so great yet.
5/3/07
Con Law makes me sick.
My Con Law exam was at 6:00 last night, and it was the one I expected to be the hardest. I got to school around 1:00 for some last minute studying. By 3:00 my head was pounding. I took some Tylenol and drank a coke hoping that the medicine, caffeine, or sugar would kill the headache before my exam.
No such luck. By the time 6:00 rolled around the headache was worse and I was starting to feel nauseous. I actually had to leave in the middle of the exam to barf. I came back and finished the exam with 10 minutes to spare. I needed to go back over my answers again, but I knew I was going to be sick again, so I gave it up.
Threw-up again at school and headed home. The motion and the lights on the way home exacerbated both the nausea and the headache. I found that it is indeed possible to barf while driving 60 miles an hour down a major freeway. Thank goodness I had my empty Starbucks cup from that morning.
I made it home by 10:00, barfed again, stripped off my clothes and went to bed. I tossed and turned until 12:15 when the pounding in my head was unbearable. I took another round of Tylenol an prayed I could keep it down long enough to do some good. Barfed again at 1:00. DH gave me a cool wet rag and apparently I passed out. Woke up at 2:00 feeling better. Woke up at 3:00 and headache was back. Took more medicine at 5:00. Alarm was set for 6:00.
Thankfully, when the alarm went off the headache was mostly gone. Wasn't sure about the nausea. Took one more round of Tylenol and headed out the door to make my 8:30 exam. A Diet Dr. Pepper and some crackers on the way seemed to calm my stomach, and I felt halfway decent through that exam. I had had about 3 hours of sleep and no chance to even look at my outline the night before or this morning.
The good news is that today's exam was open book and the one that I predicted to be the easiest. I hope I didn't blow my chance for an A because I wasn't fully recovered. I know I didn't do as well as I could have on the Con Law exam. I seriously doubt that I beat the curve. But at least I don't think I failed like I did after my Con Law I exam.
I still have a shadow of a headache that I am trying to ignore because I have another exam tomorrow that I need to do some serious studying for.
This whole experience has been very reminiscent of my one and only hangover. (Which is another post in itself.) Only, I didn't get to have any fun before the misery set in. And the timing is about the worst imaginable--except for the possibility of a repeat performance during the bar. Knock on wood.
No such luck. By the time 6:00 rolled around the headache was worse and I was starting to feel nauseous. I actually had to leave in the middle of the exam to barf. I came back and finished the exam with 10 minutes to spare. I needed to go back over my answers again, but I knew I was going to be sick again, so I gave it up.
Threw-up again at school and headed home. The motion and the lights on the way home exacerbated both the nausea and the headache. I found that it is indeed possible to barf while driving 60 miles an hour down a major freeway. Thank goodness I had my empty Starbucks cup from that morning.
I made it home by 10:00, barfed again, stripped off my clothes and went to bed. I tossed and turned until 12:15 when the pounding in my head was unbearable. I took another round of Tylenol an prayed I could keep it down long enough to do some good. Barfed again at 1:00. DH gave me a cool wet rag and apparently I passed out. Woke up at 2:00 feeling better. Woke up at 3:00 and headache was back. Took more medicine at 5:00. Alarm was set for 6:00.
Thankfully, when the alarm went off the headache was mostly gone. Wasn't sure about the nausea. Took one more round of Tylenol and headed out the door to make my 8:30 exam. A Diet Dr. Pepper and some crackers on the way seemed to calm my stomach, and I felt halfway decent through that exam. I had had about 3 hours of sleep and no chance to even look at my outline the night before or this morning.
The good news is that today's exam was open book and the one that I predicted to be the easiest. I hope I didn't blow my chance for an A because I wasn't fully recovered. I know I didn't do as well as I could have on the Con Law exam. I seriously doubt that I beat the curve. But at least I don't think I failed like I did after my Con Law I exam.
I still have a shadow of a headache that I am trying to ignore because I have another exam tomorrow that I need to do some serious studying for.
This whole experience has been very reminiscent of my one and only hangover. (Which is another post in itself.) Only, I didn't get to have any fun before the misery set in. And the timing is about the worst imaginable--except for the possibility of a repeat performance during the bar. Knock on wood.
4/29/07
I think I've broken my child
It has recently become very clear the 8 y.o. has a raging fit of self-entitlement. I have actually been considering this for quite some time--she always want the best, the most, the biggest of everything to the exclusion of her sisters and friends. Tonight she took it to a new level. DH grilled burgers, and everyone began eating while I got to a stopping place in my outline. When I wandered into the kitchen to grab a burger, DD screeched at me, "You're taking the last one!!!"
I just turned around and walked back out. I was ashamed of my daughter and of myself for letting her get this way. I'm afraid that I have overcompensated for my have-not background by letting my kids have too much.
I thought that I had been doing a pretty good job with my kids. I don't buy them things except at Christmas and their birthdays (Well, except books. I'm a sucker for books.) I have friends who buy their kids crap every single time they enter a store. That's not me. And when my kids want something they have to earn the money for it (or wait until their grandparents send cash.)
The other thing is that my twins are not like this at all. They are both very sweet and giving. I have read that twins generally have an innate sense of fairness since they have to share virtually everything from the time they are conceived. You can definitely see that in my girls.
So how have they managed to turn out so well while oldest DD is becoming the portrait of narcissism? Is it just the age difference? Please don't tell me all kids are like this as they get older. I think its because I have always leaned toward giving oldest DD more. Because the twins don't notice or care, and its easier to justify certain things merely because she is the oldest.
In any event, it has to stop. I refuse to raise a brat. I think I need to find some volunteer work for oldest DD so that she can see that not everyone leads the cushy life that she does. But I don't imagine too many organizations are looking for 8 y.o. volunteers. And I will no longer err on the side of giving her more, because the twins will start to notice eventually.
P.S. I know my posts of late make my oldest seem like a complete and total brat. That really isn't the case. She is so smart, makes perfect grades, and her teachers tell me she is an angel at school. Apparently the narcissism just comes out at home. And I think there is a jealousy thing going on because her sisters are twins and have built-in playmates and she doesn't have that with anybody.
I just turned around and walked back out. I was ashamed of my daughter and of myself for letting her get this way. I'm afraid that I have overcompensated for my have-not background by letting my kids have too much.
I thought that I had been doing a pretty good job with my kids. I don't buy them things except at Christmas and their birthdays (Well, except books. I'm a sucker for books.) I have friends who buy their kids crap every single time they enter a store. That's not me. And when my kids want something they have to earn the money for it (or wait until their grandparents send cash.)
The other thing is that my twins are not like this at all. They are both very sweet and giving. I have read that twins generally have an innate sense of fairness since they have to share virtually everything from the time they are conceived. You can definitely see that in my girls.
So how have they managed to turn out so well while oldest DD is becoming the portrait of narcissism? Is it just the age difference? Please don't tell me all kids are like this as they get older. I think its because I have always leaned toward giving oldest DD more. Because the twins don't notice or care, and its easier to justify certain things merely because she is the oldest.
In any event, it has to stop. I refuse to raise a brat. I think I need to find some volunteer work for oldest DD so that she can see that not everyone leads the cushy life that she does. But I don't imagine too many organizations are looking for 8 y.o. volunteers. And I will no longer err on the side of giving her more, because the twins will start to notice eventually.
P.S. I know my posts of late make my oldest seem like a complete and total brat. That really isn't the case. She is so smart, makes perfect grades, and her teachers tell me she is an angel at school. Apparently the narcissism just comes out at home. And I think there is a jealousy thing going on because her sisters are twins and have built-in playmates and she doesn't have that with anybody.
4/27/07
Pompous Circumstances
My twins had their graduation pictures taken today. In a gown and mortarboard. They are 5 year old. They are "graduating" from kindergarten.
Kindergarten graduation is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. What have you accomplished by completing kindergarten? You spend your days coloring pictures and you still get to take a nap. I thought graduation was supposed to represent the culmination of years of work. In Kindergarten, you are just beginning. You don't even know what work is yet.
I'm all for having a party to celebrate the end of this first step in many years of education. But to stick a funny hat on a kid's head and call it a graduation is just ridiculous.
Kindergarten graduation is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. What have you accomplished by completing kindergarten? You spend your days coloring pictures and you still get to take a nap. I thought graduation was supposed to represent the culmination of years of work. In Kindergarten, you are just beginning. You don't even know what work is yet.
I'm all for having a party to celebrate the end of this first step in many years of education. But to stick a funny hat on a kid's head and call it a graduation is just ridiculous.
4/26/07
study time
I'm camped out in the library today as I gear up for finals. I have been here 3 hours and have already accomplished more that I have in the last two days at home. There are just too many distractions at home. I go to the bathroom, I stop to pluck my eyebrows and pop a pimple. I hear Bob whining, so I let him in. He starts running around like a kid with ADHD on Halloween, so I have to play fetch for 10 minutes (or his version where I throw the ball and he takes off with it and expects me to chase him if I want it back) before he will calm down and let me study again. I want a snack--and another snack. Now I need a drink to wash down the snack. Oh, the couch looks so comfy. I think I will sit there and read for a bit. Then I take a nap--but just a short one.
Seriously, is it any wonder I get more done at school, where it is too much trouble to go down 3 flights of stairs to get a snack, and there are no comfy couches or Bobs to distract me?
Seriously, is it any wonder I get more done at school, where it is too much trouble to go down 3 flights of stairs to get a snack, and there are no comfy couches or Bobs to distract me?
4/25/07
My most recent rejection
"I am in receipt of your correspondence inquiring as to an associate position with our firm. Unfortunately, we are unable to consider offering you a position at this time."
Ok, first what the heck does "we are unable to consider..." mean? You are always able to consider something. In fact you probably did consider whether you had a position and whether I fit your firm--and then you decided to send me this crappy letter.
Second, if this is the best you can do at drafting sentences, you really need to reconsider hiring me. This letter reads as if written by someone whose first language is not English. Then again, I just read an article about how much money outsourcing saves, so perhaps it was drafted in India.
This post sounds angry, but really that's not it. I'm just shocked that a mid-size firm in a fairly large city is sending out such poorly written correspondence.
4/24/07
I was smoking crack when I scheduled my classes
Because I apparently did not even consider how my exams would fall. So next week I have an exam from 6-9:00 pm on Wed., one at 8:30 Thursday morning, and another on Friday from 6-9:00 pm. Then I have until the following Wed. until have have my last exam.
There will be no slacking for me as I wrap up my last semester of law school. As contrasted against my last semester of undergrad when I took Golf, Film Studies & Human Sexuality. Yeah--it was as tough as it sounds.
There will be no slacking for me as I wrap up my last semester of law school. As contrasted against my last semester of undergrad when I took Golf, Film Studies & Human Sexuality. Yeah--it was as tough as it sounds.
4/23/07
It might be a little political in here
I've had a few posts rolling around in my head, but they all seemed too long and I have been short on time lately, so here is the quick and dirty version of what I've been thinking this week.
First, the Alec Baldwin thing. He is being reamed in the media right now, but I can understand what might lead him to break and lash out. Honestly, kids at that age are often rude little pigs. They are selfish, egocentric and perfectly willing to play a pair of battling parents against one another. I know that I have told my 8 y.o. to quit acting like a selfish little brat. Is it that far off from "rude little pig?" Alec Baldwin certainly didn't use good judgment by raging at his kid. But it seems to me that the worst judgment was exercised whomever leaked this bit to the press.
Second, the Carhart decision. [Warning, this discussion gets somewhat graphic.] Interestingly, we were assigned Stenberg v. Carhart on the same day that SCOTUS handed down Gonzales v. Carhart (which essentially overruled the first). I have to say that I agree with the Court. And I am pro-choice. The procedure banned by the Court is performed affects a minute number of abortions. One statistic I read said about 2300 of the 1.3 million abortions performed every year are done by this procedure. There are alternatives to this procedure. And the procedure is brutal. What I don't understand is how the banned procedure where the fetus's brains are sucked out it more brutal than the still-legal alternative where the fetus is ripped apart by its limbs.
I guess I am one of those qualified pro-choicers. I do not like late-term abortions. For an elective abortion there is adequate time (at least two-months) to abort before partial-birth procedures are required. To me, abortion rights do not have to be an all-or-nothing thing. There must be a balance between a woman's right to control her body and her destiny and maintaining the dignity of all humans. To ban a gruesome procedure which affects a very small minority is not a step-back for abortion rights, it is a step forward in human dignity.
First, the Alec Baldwin thing. He is being reamed in the media right now, but I can understand what might lead him to break and lash out. Honestly, kids at that age are often rude little pigs. They are selfish, egocentric and perfectly willing to play a pair of battling parents against one another. I know that I have told my 8 y.o. to quit acting like a selfish little brat. Is it that far off from "rude little pig?" Alec Baldwin certainly didn't use good judgment by raging at his kid. But it seems to me that the worst judgment was exercised whomever leaked this bit to the press.
Second, the Carhart decision. [Warning, this discussion gets somewhat graphic.] Interestingly, we were assigned Stenberg v. Carhart on the same day that SCOTUS handed down Gonzales v. Carhart (which essentially overruled the first). I have to say that I agree with the Court. And I am pro-choice. The procedure banned by the Court is performed affects a minute number of abortions. One statistic I read said about 2300 of the 1.3 million abortions performed every year are done by this procedure. There are alternatives to this procedure. And the procedure is brutal. What I don't understand is how the banned procedure where the fetus's brains are sucked out it more brutal than the still-legal alternative where the fetus is ripped apart by its limbs.
I guess I am one of those qualified pro-choicers. I do not like late-term abortions. For an elective abortion there is adequate time (at least two-months) to abort before partial-birth procedures are required. To me, abortion rights do not have to be an all-or-nothing thing. There must be a balance between a woman's right to control her body and her destiny and maintaining the dignity of all humans. To ban a gruesome procedure which affects a very small minority is not a step-back for abortion rights, it is a step forward in human dignity.
4/20/07
Shopping Endorphins
I returned the non-fitting graduation dress today and found a new dress. By some miracle from above I loved the very first dress I tried on. It isn't as pretty as the non-fitting dress, but it is more practical and something I am more likely to wear again. And it fits perfectly--hugging the right places and hiding the wrong ones. And I also got new sexy shoes. Now all I need is a pedicure.
4/18/07
The hidden costs
Seems they just don't mention everything when you start law school. Like how registering for the bar is about $500. Bar/bri is another $2300. PMBR $700 (unless you just order the books off ebay like I did--$70). Parking for bar/bri $5/day--or take the train downtown. But the biggie that I wasn't prepared for was the bar hotel. I did not realize until just a few months ago that everyone stays in a hotel to take the bar. Of course, it makes sense. And I was actually contemplating this for myself (because I live 40 miles from our test site) before I realized that this was the norm.
I initially booked the hotel adjacent to the bar site. That hotel has kindly jacked its rates up about 25% during the bar. It will cost more than $700 to stay there. WTF? $700 to stay in a mediocre hotel that I will get absolutely no enjoyment out of.
After getting some tips on local bar hotels from classmates and last year's grads, I have now booked a second room. This one is a couple of blocks away and will save me about $200 (although its rates are also significantly higher its regular rates). And it is supposedly better than the first one as far as noise.
But there is really no getting away from the noise. Because the bar exam is being held in a very touristy area. In the middle of summer, when tourists are out in force. So no matter where I go, there will be kids running amuck and happy people with tans enjoying their vacations.
I initially booked the hotel adjacent to the bar site. That hotel has kindly jacked its rates up about 25% during the bar. It will cost more than $700 to stay there. WTF? $700 to stay in a mediocre hotel that I will get absolutely no enjoyment out of.
After getting some tips on local bar hotels from classmates and last year's grads, I have now booked a second room. This one is a couple of blocks away and will save me about $200 (although its rates are also significantly higher its regular rates). And it is supposedly better than the first one as far as noise.
But there is really no getting away from the noise. Because the bar exam is being held in a very touristy area. In the middle of summer, when tourists are out in force. So no matter where I go, there will be kids running amuck and happy people with tans enjoying their vacations.
4/17/07
Sometimes ya just wanna shoot the messenger
I was trying so hard yesterday to maintain a good attitude. Then I checked the mail. I got two notices from my undergrad loans informing me that my in-school deferment is ending in the next 30 days. A notice about the interest that is accruing on my law school loan. A notice that my mortgage is going up because of taxes, and my escrow account is deficient. I can pay the escrow deficiency in a lump sum or pay it out and my mortgage will go up even more. Oh yeah, and another rejection letter informing me that they "only make offers to licensed attorneys." OK, but do ya have to be so snarky about it? And for what they are paying, they should really reconsider their attitude.
DD came home sick yesterday and is now home with me.
I got called on in Con Law last night. This is a prof entrenched in 1L Socratic method. I think he suspected that I had tuned out and was trying to catch me. I was in fact-tuned out, and had only read half the case. Fortunately, it was the half I was called upon to discuss. After 3 years of law school I have mastered paying just enough attention to track the class discussion while surfing the internet. Which reminds me of a funny incident.
A couple of weeks ago a girl got called on in Pre-trial. She had to ask what case we were on. Prof. said, "what are you doing up there, playing cards?" She said, "something like that." Prof said, "Good thing I'm not easily offended." She did a great job on the case. Prof said, "Guess I was just moving too slow for you, huh?"
DD came home sick yesterday and is now home with me.
I got called on in Con Law last night. This is a prof entrenched in 1L Socratic method. I think he suspected that I had tuned out and was trying to catch me. I was in fact-tuned out, and had only read half the case. Fortunately, it was the half I was called upon to discuss. After 3 years of law school I have mastered paying just enough attention to track the class discussion while surfing the internet. Which reminds me of a funny incident.
A couple of weeks ago a girl got called on in Pre-trial. She had to ask what case we were on. Prof. said, "what are you doing up there, playing cards?" She said, "something like that." Prof said, "Good thing I'm not easily offended." She did a great job on the case. Prof said, "Guess I was just moving too slow for you, huh?"
4/16/07
The sun has come out
So, I know that I have been a wee bit whiny lately. I think that part of it has been the weather. It has been cloudy and rainy and gloomy for weeks. I need sunshine to function, and it has finally arrived.
Also, I think the uncertainty about my future is getting to me. I am a planner. I need to know where I am going and how to get there. Right now I have no idea where my life is headed once I am done with the bar. Will I have a job I love or one that I hate (or any job at all)? Will I be in the same house--or even the same city? How much money will I be making? Where will my kids be in school? There are big changes ahead, and I don't like not being able to plan for them.
But I am working on readjusting my attitude. Whining isn't going to get me anywhere. And I really need to move out of this funk and gear up for the push through finals. My goals right now are to get through finals and then the bar. Hopefully the rest will fall into place.
Also, I think the uncertainty about my future is getting to me. I am a planner. I need to know where I am going and how to get there. Right now I have no idea where my life is headed once I am done with the bar. Will I have a job I love or one that I hate (or any job at all)? Will I be in the same house--or even the same city? How much money will I be making? Where will my kids be in school? There are big changes ahead, and I don't like not being able to plan for them.
But I am working on readjusting my attitude. Whining isn't going to get me anywhere. And I really need to move out of this funk and gear up for the push through finals. My goals right now are to get through finals and then the bar. Hopefully the rest will fall into place.
4/13/07
Friday the 13th Sucks
The whole day has been crappy. DH and I are fighting because he hurt my feelings and then got mad at me for being upset.
The dress I ordered for graduation came in and it is gorgeous. But it doesn't fit--not even close. It's exactly the same size as the suit I ordered along with it and the suit fits perfectly. It is out of stock online, and according to the website, the nearest store that has it is 300 miles away.
I got my first rejection letter. Big City DA's office let me know that they are "impressed with my qualifications" but they don't have any openings right now. They will file my application in case something comes up. I won't be holding my breath.
Still haven't heard anything from Not My Big City DA's office. Or anyone else. I have a ton of resumes out and I am getting absolutely no feedback. I have good grades from a top tier university. I have a ton of experience. Everybody that I have worked for has loved me and offered to give me excellent references without me even having to ask. So why aren't I employable?
So I have spent the day wallowing in self-pity and doing absolutely nothing productive. Oh yeah, except that I applied for one more job. That I found on Craigslist. Yes, folks, that is what it's come to.
The dress I ordered for graduation came in and it is gorgeous. But it doesn't fit--not even close. It's exactly the same size as the suit I ordered along with it and the suit fits perfectly. It is out of stock online, and according to the website, the nearest store that has it is 300 miles away.
I got my first rejection letter. Big City DA's office let me know that they are "impressed with my qualifications" but they don't have any openings right now. They will file my application in case something comes up. I won't be holding my breath.
Still haven't heard anything from Not My Big City DA's office. Or anyone else. I have a ton of resumes out and I am getting absolutely no feedback. I have good grades from a top tier university. I have a ton of experience. Everybody that I have worked for has loved me and offered to give me excellent references without me even having to ask. So why aren't I employable?
So I have spent the day wallowing in self-pity and doing absolutely nothing productive. Oh yeah, except that I applied for one more job. That I found on Craigslist. Yes, folks, that is what it's come to.
Tonight's entertainment provided by the LC
Thump, thump, thump...oh shit! That was me falling down the marble stairs at school yesterday. My flip-flopped feet slid out from under me and my ass hit every step on the way down. Fortunately there were only about 4 steps. Of course, my biggest concern was who saw my little episode. Luckily there were only about 3 people around--who informed me that it was hilarious to watch. Later I realized that I hurt all over. Think I can sue the school?
4/11/07
You know its time to do laundry...
...when the only thing left in your underwear drawer is a see-through fuchsia thong. Especially when you don't have time to send that kind of message to your honey.
4/10/07
Family Stuff
OK, is it strange that my MIL, FIL, 2 SIL's and their hubbies are planning to attend my graduation--but I don't think anyone from my own family will be there? I think it is, a little. Still not speaking to my mom, and I don't want her there taking credit for my success. My relationship with my dad is rocky, but I still thought he might come. Then again, he didn't make it to my undergrad graduation. I am closest to my grandparents, but they haven't mentioned coming either. My grandmother doesn't care to travel much these days, but I guess I was hoping she would make an exception. They visit my cousin who lives 120 miles away, but the 400 miles to see me (45 minutes on a plane!) is like the other end of the planet. Of course, my brother isn't even talking to me, and he couldn't afford the trip anyway. My other grandparents already told me that they can't come because two cousins have high school graduations the two weekends after mine, and it is just too much travelling. I have had both an aunt and uncle try to reach me in the last week--seems like they might be thinking about coming. But I don't really expect the relatives I see once a year to put out more effort than my parents and grandparents. Or maybe they are just being nice because they know how my parents are. I don't expect my in-laws there either, but as my DH put it, they have adopted me and would no less show up that if I were one of their own children. I heart my in-laws.
4/5/07
The Job Hunt Continues
It’s been an interesting day. I went to school early today to hear a presentation from the DA’s office from Big City. I left feeling pretty bummed. They are no longer hiring anyone without bar results. And she talked extensively about how competitive it is to get on there.
Five minutes after I got back I got an email from my supervisor at the small DA’s office where I worked last summer. Not My Big City DA’s office is checking my references. They also revealed to him that they have a lot of positions open and that they are trying to move quickly.
So, this is good news, sort of. I am becoming more and more interested in the possibility of working for NMBC DA’s office, but the thought of moving and all the change that would be required is overwhelming. I guess I’ll just keep waiting and see what happens, but it kinda seems like they’re serious if they are checking references.
Five minutes after I got back I got an email from my supervisor at the small DA’s office where I worked last summer. Not My Big City DA’s office is checking my references. They also revealed to him that they have a lot of positions open and that they are trying to move quickly.
So, this is good news, sort of. I am becoming more and more interested in the possibility of working for NMBC DA’s office, but the thought of moving and all the change that would be required is overwhelming. I guess I’ll just keep waiting and see what happens, but it kinda seems like they’re serious if they are checking references.
4/4/07
Thank God I have girls.
Today was the kindergarten field trip to the zoo that I volunteered to help chaperon. Another mom and I were to keep up with our 3 girls plus 2 boys. OK, 5 kids, no biggie. But somehow a dad, who was charged only with chaperoning his own twin boys, tagged along with our group. It was a disaster. This father had absolutely no control over his own children. They kept running through the zoo, screaming at the top of their lungs, climbing everything they could find, stomping through the flower beds, pulling up plants, throwing things at animals--you name it, they tried it. The dad occasionally tried to intervene, but his kids paid him no attention. And since those two boys were running wild, it made the boys that we were watching think they could do the same. We tried to ditch the dad and the Terror Twins, but no luck. I spent the entire day yelling at kids who don't belong to me. I am now completely exhausted and am skipping class tonight. Meanwhile, my girls, plus their friend who was in our zoo group have been playing here since we got home. I have not had to correct them a single time. I love having girls--on their very worst day they have never behaved as badly as the boys I was with today.
4/2/07
My apologies if you have me on your RSS Feeder
I did a little housekeeping today, and apparently it makes the old posts that I changed look like they were just published (on the feeder, not on my blog page.) I just made some minor changes--deleting some things that I thought could cause problems if my secret identity were ever uncovered, and removing the title of a song that more than half my hits come from.
My City Sucks
I was dutifully paying my monthly bills on Friday when I noticed that my water bill was $92. My bill is usually about $35. The bill showed a balance forward of $52, but no explanation of where this balance came from. When I checked online, the statement showed that I had paid the bill in full, on time.
A quick call to the City (which runs the water utility) informed me that my last payment (e-pay)was returned NSF. I knew that couldn't be right, but the CS rep on the phone had no further information and I had to wait for a supervisor to call me back. Meanwhile, I checked my bank account, and in fact, there were more than adequate funds to cover last month's bill at all times, but there was no record that the payment had ever been processed.
The supervisor told me that the problem was not NSF, but because the bank account had been entered incorrectly and it was merely billed as NSF. I said, ok, I'll pay the past due balance, please remove the fee. And they said NO. WTF??? The fee is $15--almost 40% of my bill. By contrast, if I had merely been late, the fee would have been 10%--$3.50. The City's excuse is that it is charged the fee by its contractor who processes payments, and if I don't pay it , then the expense if borne by all the citizens of [Sucky City].
I have gone up the line and spoken with 3 people. The last person is the director of finance and informed me that her supervisor is the City Manager. I haven't contacted the City Manager yet--for now I am continuing to argue with the Finance Director. Basically, I'm fighting a losing battle. The city is the only gig in town if I want running water. On the other hand, this was a non-disclosed fee, and I don't think that they can legally and legitimately charge random fees w/o disclosure.
Frankly, it would be easier to pay the stinkin' $15. This is truly a matter of principle. I refuse to pay a 40% penalty for a clerical error that the city has not even shown to be mine. I thought about letting it drop--this is a small town and I really don't need to be making enemies as I am kick-starting my career. On the other hand, I have been training for the last three years to stand up for other people's rights. How can I ever be an effective lawyer, when I let the city stomp all over my rights?
A quick call to the City (which runs the water utility) informed me that my last payment (e-pay)was returned NSF. I knew that couldn't be right, but the CS rep on the phone had no further information and I had to wait for a supervisor to call me back. Meanwhile, I checked my bank account, and in fact, there were more than adequate funds to cover last month's bill at all times, but there was no record that the payment had ever been processed.
The supervisor told me that the problem was not NSF, but because the bank account had been entered incorrectly and it was merely billed as NSF. I said, ok, I'll pay the past due balance, please remove the fee. And they said NO. WTF??? The fee is $15--almost 40% of my bill. By contrast, if I had merely been late, the fee would have been 10%--$3.50. The City's excuse is that it is charged the fee by its contractor who processes payments, and if I don't pay it , then the expense if borne by all the citizens of [Sucky City].
I have gone up the line and spoken with 3 people. The last person is the director of finance and informed me that her supervisor is the City Manager. I haven't contacted the City Manager yet--for now I am continuing to argue with the Finance Director. Basically, I'm fighting a losing battle. The city is the only gig in town if I want running water. On the other hand, this was a non-disclosed fee, and I don't think that they can legally and legitimately charge random fees w/o disclosure.
Frankly, it would be easier to pay the stinkin' $15. This is truly a matter of principle. I refuse to pay a 40% penalty for a clerical error that the city has not even shown to be mine. I thought about letting it drop--this is a small town and I really don't need to be making enemies as I am kick-starting my career. On the other hand, I have been training for the last three years to stand up for other people's rights. How can I ever be an effective lawyer, when I let the city stomp all over my rights?
3/30/07
Mom's bed is always best when you're sick
My youngest (by 2 minutes) DD is sick--again. She is the sickliest of my kiddos, although you'd never know it by her spunky personality. She has asthma, and the mildest of colds can knock her on her butt. Yesterday was one of those days. Took her to the doc and she has an ear infection, some kind of stomach thing, and possible a kidney/UT infection. Poor baby. She laid down in my bed at 7 last night and didn't get up until after 9 this morning. I was worried about her dehydrating since she didn't eat at all yesterday, and hardly drank, but the sleep seemed to help, and she is perkier this morning.
So, I didn't get much sleep with DD in my bed. And I got even less b/c Bob was being a total PITA. For some reason Bob has decided that he doesn't like to be alone at night and will bark until someone pays attention to him. This just started two nights ago. If it doesn't end soon, Bob will be homeless. I need my sleep or I turn into the Wicked Bitch of the West.
Oh yeah, and I told oldest DD that she could have a sleepover tonight because she got a perfect score on her state standardized test for reading. Guess we'll be looking at one more sleepless night. Arghh.
So, I didn't get much sleep with DD in my bed. And I got even less b/c Bob was being a total PITA. For some reason Bob has decided that he doesn't like to be alone at night and will bark until someone pays attention to him. This just started two nights ago. If it doesn't end soon, Bob will be homeless. I need my sleep or I turn into the Wicked Bitch of the West.
Oh yeah, and I told oldest DD that she could have a sleepover tonight because she got a perfect score on her state standardized test for reading. Guess we'll be looking at one more sleepless night. Arghh.
3/26/07
Bob is still a punk
We've cut off the booze, but Bob is still managing to find trouble.
Fortunately, for him, this is the remains of an arrangement that was given to me by my mother-in-law* that was truly hideous. It originally looked like a dead bird hidden in a bunch of leaves and cattails. No wonder Bob went for it--he is a bird dog. But now somebody's got some 'splainin to do to MIL.
*For the record, my MIL is on the awesome end of the MIL spectrum. And she usually has great taste--I'm not sure how she got off track with the dead-bird arrangement.
New Graduation Stress
So in addition to all the graduation, job-hunting, bar-taking stress, I have reasoned out that there is a decent chance that we will need to move in the somewhat near future. And that means selling our house.
Pulling numbers out of thin air, I think that there is about a 75% chance that I will find a job in Big City. Which of course means about a 25% chance that I will find a job somewhere that will require a move. But, even if I find a job in Big City, there is a good chance we will want to move. We are in the far east part of our metro area. If I find a position that is North or West of downtown, we will probably want to move closer. Even a downtown job will mean an hour commute--and I'm not sure that is something I can deal with.
So I am looking at my house with a new eye. It is a 4-year-old cookie-cutter spec home. We usually do a project or two a year to upgrade it. Now we will be looking specifically at projects that will increase the value or appeal, and delaying the ones that would really only benefit us. Still there is a lot to be done before we can think about putting it on the market.
The whole downstairs needs to be painted. (The builder used flat while. Flat white + three small kids = gross walls. I hate the white anyway.) It is an open floor plan, so there is a lot of wall to be covered and it will all have to be done at once. I have painted every other room in the house, but have avoided the downstairs open area because it is so overwhelming.
We need to replace the posts on the fence around the back yard. The builder used wooden posts which have warped, and many have started coming out of the ground because of the drought. Our yard is huge, so this is not a small task, but the neighbors offered to split the cost and work on the side fence.
We need to put a raised flower bed in the front yard to hide a sewer cleanout in the middle of the front yard. Again, due to to the drought the ground has sunk, making it very visible. I was actually planning on doing this project soon anyway, so I'm ok with it.
Oh, and he very best part of trying to sell a cookie-cutter spec home? An MLS search revealed 7 other homes exactly like ours that are currently on the market in our town. There is a $25K price difference in some of these, but I think the higher prices are deluded. We'll be lucky if we break even on our home.
Pulling numbers out of thin air, I think that there is about a 75% chance that I will find a job in Big City. Which of course means about a 25% chance that I will find a job somewhere that will require a move. But, even if I find a job in Big City, there is a good chance we will want to move. We are in the far east part of our metro area. If I find a position that is North or West of downtown, we will probably want to move closer. Even a downtown job will mean an hour commute--and I'm not sure that is something I can deal with.
So I am looking at my house with a new eye. It is a 4-year-old cookie-cutter spec home. We usually do a project or two a year to upgrade it. Now we will be looking specifically at projects that will increase the value or appeal, and delaying the ones that would really only benefit us. Still there is a lot to be done before we can think about putting it on the market.
The whole downstairs needs to be painted. (The builder used flat while. Flat white + three small kids = gross walls. I hate the white anyway.) It is an open floor plan, so there is a lot of wall to be covered and it will all have to be done at once. I have painted every other room in the house, but have avoided the downstairs open area because it is so overwhelming.
We need to replace the posts on the fence around the back yard. The builder used wooden posts which have warped, and many have started coming out of the ground because of the drought. Our yard is huge, so this is not a small task, but the neighbors offered to split the cost and work on the side fence.
We need to put a raised flower bed in the front yard to hide a sewer cleanout in the middle of the front yard. Again, due to to the drought the ground has sunk, making it very visible. I was actually planning on doing this project soon anyway, so I'm ok with it.
Oh, and he very best part of trying to sell a cookie-cutter spec home? An MLS search revealed 7 other homes exactly like ours that are currently on the market in our town. There is a $25K price difference in some of these, but I think the higher prices are deluded. We'll be lucky if we break even on our home.
3/24/07
Friggin' Hilarious
By the judge’s reasoning, any guy who gets aroused while wearing leather pants has – in the strictest legal terms – his wiener in a cow.
Actually, run-ins with law enforcement while getting it on with animals are more common than that one might think. There were a couple of such cases that had come through the DA's office I worked in. And rumor has it that one of my classmates in the criminal clinic had one of these, too. Of course, I don't think any of these involved dead animals--or leather pants.
Actually, run-ins with law enforcement while getting it on with animals are more common than that one might think. There were a couple of such cases that had come through the DA's office I worked in. And rumor has it that one of my classmates in the criminal clinic had one of these, too. Of course, I don't think any of these involved dead animals--or leather pants.
3/23/07
Bite Me
I am fully recovered from my gum surgery, so I finally had a consult with the orthodontist today. What I had once naively believed would be a simple procedure to close the gap between my bottom teeth is going to be a much bigger ordeal. Part of the problem is that I have TMJ. I have known this for years, but every dentist I have ever mentioned the jaw clicking, locking and tensing to has blown me off. Anyway, the ortho. is taking me seriously, and its an issue because orthodontics can make TMJ either better or worse.
The other problem is that I am a clencher when I get tense and when I sleep. Clenching changes the bite. The ortho anticipates that I will be clenching a lot until the bar exam. So, I might just be going into a night guard to preserve my bite until after the bar, and then get into the serious orthodontics.
Oh yeah--and I will need jaw surgery. Because when the gap developed, my teeth also moved forward. When they are pushed back and the space is closed, I will have a massive overbite. And it can only be fixed with a surgery to move my jaw forward.
I would have been horrified by that part, but while I was in the waiting room, a monitor ran a slide show of before and after shots. It showed a guy who had had the jaw surgery and the impact on his profile was amazing. I hate my profile because my chin almost blends into my neck. This would make my chin more prominent, and the ortho said that his preferred surgeon could also take care of my hereditary double chin while he did it. (Even when I am really thin I have a double chin.)
I knew that my face had changed since I was younger--I though that it was just because I am a 20 pounds heavier. No, apparently it is all because of my bite changing. Who knew?
The other problem is that I am a clencher when I get tense and when I sleep. Clenching changes the bite. The ortho anticipates that I will be clenching a lot until the bar exam. So, I might just be going into a night guard to preserve my bite until after the bar, and then get into the serious orthodontics.
Oh yeah--and I will need jaw surgery. Because when the gap developed, my teeth also moved forward. When they are pushed back and the space is closed, I will have a massive overbite. And it can only be fixed with a surgery to move my jaw forward.
I would have been horrified by that part, but while I was in the waiting room, a monitor ran a slide show of before and after shots. It showed a guy who had had the jaw surgery and the impact on his profile was amazing. I hate my profile because my chin almost blends into my neck. This would make my chin more prominent, and the ortho said that his preferred surgeon could also take care of my hereditary double chin while he did it. (Even when I am really thin I have a double chin.)
I knew that my face had changed since I was younger--I though that it was just because I am a 20 pounds heavier. No, apparently it is all because of my bite changing. Who knew?
3/21/07
Hmmm, very interesting
I just got a (sort-of) unsolicited email asking me to forward my updated resume. It is from a DA's office in a big city. Not my big city, but one not too far away that I would consider moving to. The interesting part is that I applied for this position early last fall. I even had an interview with them. It did not go well. So I am surprised to be hearing from them again.
I will forward my resume, but I'm not sure that I really want that job. I like my city much better than that one. It would require uprooting the kids. DH would have to find employment there (but he is looking for new employment anyway). It is a DA's office, so there is not a lot of $$ on the table to make all the trouble worthwhile.
On the other hand, I really want to get in with a DA's office. This is a big one--there will definitely be room for growth and big cases. I have had several clerkships, and I loved working in the DA's office more than anything else I have done. And I need a job. Unemployment is stressful.
I guess we'll see what happens. In the meantime, I guess I better get my resume in the mail to the local DA's office.
I will forward my resume, but I'm not sure that I really want that job. I like my city much better than that one. It would require uprooting the kids. DH would have to find employment there (but he is looking for new employment anyway). It is a DA's office, so there is not a lot of $$ on the table to make all the trouble worthwhile.
On the other hand, I really want to get in with a DA's office. This is a big one--there will definitely be room for growth and big cases. I have had several clerkships, and I loved working in the DA's office more than anything else I have done. And I need a job. Unemployment is stressful.
I guess we'll see what happens. In the meantime, I guess I better get my resume in the mail to the local DA's office.
3/19/07
Meet Bob
Bob likes beer.*
*Please note that no puppies were harmed by the taking of these pictures. The bottle was empty before Bob found it, and was removed as soon as the the pics were taken.
*Please note that no puppies were harmed by the taking of these pictures. The bottle was empty before Bob found it, and was removed as soon as the the pics were taken.
3/16/07
I'm Ba-aack
The beach was great and very relaxing. It was nice to take a few days and not even think about school or the bar or finding a job. Our house was 500 feet from the beach. It was on the smallest part of the island that was only accessible to residents, so we had the beach mostly to ourselves. The very best part was watching the kids enjoy the beach for the first time. It was really too cool to swim, but that didn't keep my little wharf rats out of the water. 5 y.o. DD kept running into the surf screaming, "This is the life!" Even sulky, moody 8 y.o. was genuinely happy on the beach, which is something we don't see often these days.
And because I know that you want to see someone else's vacation pictures, here is the island that we stayed on taken from the ferry that we took from the mainland.
And the kiddos playing on the beach.
This is the roots of a tree that was pulled up by a hurricane.
And the other side...
3/9/07
Happy Spring Break
Yea! Spring Break has finally started--at least for me, DH and the kiddos have work and school today. I am doing laundry and packing because we leave first thing in the morning.
Packing for 5 people for 5 days is a lot of work. Last spring break, we anticipated warm weather and were met with very cool nights and mornings. I had not packed at all for cool weather--we had to go out and buy the kids warmer clothes. And in the nearest town to our cabin our choices were Dollar General and Wal-Mart. They ended up with boys football sweatsuits that had been discounted to $3/pair.
I have learned from my mistakes and am packing for all weather (and closely monitoring weather.com), but that takes a lot of space. Also, since we have rented a beach house, we need all those little daily things, like dishwashing detergent and paper towels. And beach toys. And fishing tackle. And entertainment for the car. At some point we will need to stop and buy groceries. The Behemoth is going to be bursting at the seams.
Happy Spring Break to everybody--and don't expect to see anything from me over the next few days--the beach house doesn't have internet access.
Packing for 5 people for 5 days is a lot of work. Last spring break, we anticipated warm weather and were met with very cool nights and mornings. I had not packed at all for cool weather--we had to go out and buy the kids warmer clothes. And in the nearest town to our cabin our choices were Dollar General and Wal-Mart. They ended up with boys football sweatsuits that had been discounted to $3/pair.
I have learned from my mistakes and am packing for all weather (and closely monitoring weather.com), but that takes a lot of space. Also, since we have rented a beach house, we need all those little daily things, like dishwashing detergent and paper towels. And beach toys. And fishing tackle. And entertainment for the car. At some point we will need to stop and buy groceries. The Behemoth is going to be bursting at the seams.
Happy Spring Break to everybody--and don't expect to see anything from me over the next few days--the beach house doesn't have internet access.
3/7/07
Spring Fever
I am having so much trouble settling down and getting my work done this week. I am so psyched about Spring Break. One week from today I will be sitting on the beach with a frosty beverage. I think the spring fever is compounded by senioritis. Feels a lot like high school. I just want to get done and get out. But of course, its not nearly as exciting as high school because I have the whole bar/bri-is-ruining-my -summer-plus-if-I-don't-pass-the-bar-and-get-a-job-my-life-is-over thing going on.
But right at this moment, I am managing to push that all aside and focus on my upcoming vacation. Hopefully this much-needed break will let me settle in and focus for the rest of the semester. Now, if I can just make it through the next two classes without making it painfully obvious that I spent my day making my packing list instead of reading.
But right at this moment, I am managing to push that all aside and focus on my upcoming vacation. Hopefully this much-needed break will let me settle in and focus for the rest of the semester. Now, if I can just make it through the next two classes without making it painfully obvious that I spent my day making my packing list instead of reading.
3/2/07
I'm so disappointed
I found out today that my grades are high enough to graduate with honors. But I can't, because I'm a transfer student. It just sucks. I totally blew off school in undergrad (which is why I got stuck in a T4 to begin with), and I am proud of the way that I have worked my ass of in law school. I guess jumping from a T4 to a T1 school should be reward enough, but it would have been really sweet to graduate with honors.
3/1/07
No Matter Where You Go, You Just Can't Escape Scrotums
A legislator in Maryland is trying to ban plastic balls that rednecks are hanging from the trailer hitches of their trucks. The seller of these delightful wares doesn't see the problem, responding to the Washington Post, "Did all the little donkeys and sheep walk around with their panties on so children wouldn't see their bodies?" Cause, ya know, donkey balls are totally the same as truck balls.
Boy, am I glad that I've already had the scrotum discussion with my girls. (Although I don't think we ever covered truck balls.)
P.S.
I hope that Washington Post link doesn't require you to register, because I hate having to register to read one article. If registration is required, you might want to look at BugMeNot , to get around that pesky registration process.
Boy, am I glad that I've already had the scrotum discussion with my girls. (Although I don't think we ever covered truck balls.)
P.S.
I hope that Washington Post link doesn't require you to register, because I hate having to register to read one article. If registration is required, you might want to look at BugMeNot , to get around that pesky registration process.
2/28/07
Little Brothers are Buttheads (even when they are grown)
Apparently my brother is now screening my calls. We had a little tiff about a month ago, but I really thought he would be over it by now. Apparently not.
I had off-handedly mentioned that we were considering taking the kids to Disney for spring break if we could manage the finances. BB (Brother Butthead) said that he really wanted to take his kids too since they should be getting a good tax refund this year, and hey, wouldn't it be great if we could go together. I said, sure that might be fun, we'll talk more later.
The next day he sends DH this long detailed email about how we will rent a 12 passenger van, and take turns driving so we can make it in one day, and oh yeah, we can also make a stop along the way to visit his wife's family.
That is when I knew that this wasn't gonna work. The idea of 14 hours in a van with 7 kids screams anything but vacation. (Can you imagine how many potty stops that would be?) I didn't want a van, I wanted my big comfy computer-climate controlled, HD-stereo having behemoth Suburban to drive. I did not want to do 14 hours in a stretch, I wanted to split it over 2 days and take the time to enjoy the little stops along the way. And I sure as hell didn't want to waste one day of my vacation visiting my brother's in-laws.
So I told him, as gently as possible, that his vision of a vacation did not mesh with our vision of a vacation. And he blew up. He said it was because we though they weren't good enough for us and we just didn't want to spend time with them. Eventually it came out that their own vehicle wasn't reliable enough to make the trip and they couldn't go without us to split the cost of the van and presumably a hotel room (did I forget the part about fudging occupancy numbers and bringing sleeping bags?). Seriously, could we get any more Griswold. We just need to tie my dead grandma to the roof of that van.
The real problem is that while my brother and I stem from the same white trash roots, I have managed to pull myself out and he never has. They never seem to be able to make ends meet--never find a way to get out of the crappy house in the bad part of town or keep their phone hooked up and their vehicles running. And it's their own fault. My brother put himself through school and got a teaching degree. He is half way through a master's, but has changed his degree plan three times. He should be able to live a better life than he does.
It's to the point that I don't want to share anything with him. My going to law school, or buying a house, or a new care are all insults to him. They are the things I have accomplished that he has not. And apparently my mention of Disney was salt in the wounds--and if I didn't want to go with him, it was because I was better than him. I guess he didn't consider that I would be spending my money and my precious time and should have some input into my vacation (not to mention DH, who immediately nixed this plan.)
Oh, and the real irony... we aren't going to Disney, either. We decided it was just to expensive, with all of my bar expenses coming up (mostly paying for full-time childcare when I'm not working). But of course I can't tell BB that, because he won't take my damn calls.
I had off-handedly mentioned that we were considering taking the kids to Disney for spring break if we could manage the finances. BB (Brother Butthead) said that he really wanted to take his kids too since they should be getting a good tax refund this year, and hey, wouldn't it be great if we could go together. I said, sure that might be fun, we'll talk more later.
The next day he sends DH this long detailed email about how we will rent a 12 passenger van, and take turns driving so we can make it in one day, and oh yeah, we can also make a stop along the way to visit his wife's family.
That is when I knew that this wasn't gonna work. The idea of 14 hours in a van with 7 kids screams anything but vacation. (Can you imagine how many potty stops that would be?) I didn't want a van, I wanted my big comfy computer-climate controlled, HD-stereo having behemoth Suburban to drive. I did not want to do 14 hours in a stretch, I wanted to split it over 2 days and take the time to enjoy the little stops along the way. And I sure as hell didn't want to waste one day of my vacation visiting my brother's in-laws.
So I told him, as gently as possible, that his vision of a vacation did not mesh with our vision of a vacation. And he blew up. He said it was because we though they weren't good enough for us and we just didn't want to spend time with them. Eventually it came out that their own vehicle wasn't reliable enough to make the trip and they couldn't go without us to split the cost of the van and presumably a hotel room (did I forget the part about fudging occupancy numbers and bringing sleeping bags?). Seriously, could we get any more Griswold. We just need to tie my dead grandma to the roof of that van.
The real problem is that while my brother and I stem from the same white trash roots, I have managed to pull myself out and he never has. They never seem to be able to make ends meet--never find a way to get out of the crappy house in the bad part of town or keep their phone hooked up and their vehicles running. And it's their own fault. My brother put himself through school and got a teaching degree. He is half way through a master's, but has changed his degree plan three times. He should be able to live a better life than he does.
It's to the point that I don't want to share anything with him. My going to law school, or buying a house, or a new care are all insults to him. They are the things I have accomplished that he has not. And apparently my mention of Disney was salt in the wounds--and if I didn't want to go with him, it was because I was better than him. I guess he didn't consider that I would be spending my money and my precious time and should have some input into my vacation (not to mention DH, who immediately nixed this plan.)
Oh, and the real irony... we aren't going to Disney, either. We decided it was just to expensive, with all of my bar expenses coming up (mostly paying for full-time childcare when I'm not working). But of course I can't tell BB that, because he won't take my damn calls.
2/25/07
Just Nerds Breeding Nerds
I'll admit I'm just a big ol' nerd. I think that the majority of law students are. I'm ok with that. But I seem to be turning my children into nerds, too. (But I'm also ok with that--I think that nerds get into less trouble in the teenage years.) Not extreme nerdiness--they have the right clothes and shoes, they still love cartoons and video games, and you can't see the geekiness just by looking at them--but if you spend any amount of time with them, you will start to notice the nerdiness.
In preparation for our Spring Break Trip, I took the kids to the library. When I stayed home with the kids we went to the library every week from the time they were infants--these days the trips are less frequent, but there is never a shortage of books in our house. So anyway, we went in search of books about the state we are visiting, the ocean, fishing and Pompeii (since there is a travelling museum exhibit in the city near where we are staying.) DH points out that it is extremely nerdy to turn every vacation into a learning experience. My thoughts are the best way to learn is by experience, and I might as well teach the kids about something while they are interested in it.
Last night one 5 y.o. went to bed reading about Pompeii, and the other reading about an Ice-mummy (totally unrelated to anything else, but we found the book near the Pompeii books and the kids thought it looked cool.)
We are also reading up on fishing. (Yet another example of our extreme nerdiness.) We girls have never fished. DH used to go fly-fishing w/ his dad, but he has never salt-water fished. 8 y.o. has already read one of the fishing books, and made a list of everything we needed to buy when we went to Ginormous Sporting Goods Store.
So, yeah, we are nerds. But hopefully we will be nerds of the well-rounded, well-educated variety.
In preparation for our Spring Break Trip, I took the kids to the library. When I stayed home with the kids we went to the library every week from the time they were infants--these days the trips are less frequent, but there is never a shortage of books in our house. So anyway, we went in search of books about the state we are visiting, the ocean, fishing and Pompeii (since there is a travelling museum exhibit in the city near where we are staying.) DH points out that it is extremely nerdy to turn every vacation into a learning experience. My thoughts are the best way to learn is by experience, and I might as well teach the kids about something while they are interested in it.
Last night one 5 y.o. went to bed reading about Pompeii, and the other reading about an Ice-mummy (totally unrelated to anything else, but we found the book near the Pompeii books and the kids thought it looked cool.)
We are also reading up on fishing. (Yet another example of our extreme nerdiness.) We girls have never fished. DH used to go fly-fishing w/ his dad, but he has never salt-water fished. 8 y.o. has already read one of the fishing books, and made a list of everything we needed to buy when we went to Ginormous Sporting Goods Store.
So, yeah, we are nerds. But hopefully we will be nerds of the well-rounded, well-educated variety.
2/22/07
Why does finding out that a book is banned always make be want to go read it.
I was reading this article in Oil & Gas, which was making it awfully hard to keep a straight face. (And believe it or not, Oil & Gas is not funny.)
Anyway, the article is about the children's book The Higher Power of Lucky , and the fact that the book--OMG--contains the word "scrotum". And apparently there is a select group of librarians who think that scrotum is a bad word and that kids aren't allowed to knw the meaning of it.
I generally think that banning books is a bad idea. First, I think that parents should monitor what their children read--not the library, the school or the state. Second, I don't think I'm the only one who wants to read a book just because its been labeled "banned." Third, the reasons books get banned are usually for stupid reasons made up by short-sighted closed-minded people. This book appears to be just such a case (with the caveat that I haven't read it myself, only read a few articles.) WTH is wrong with "scrotum?" It's a body part--kids need to learn about body parts. Even the ones that might make us grown-ups a little uncomfortable.
Case in point, on our last vacation we took the kids to see BodyWorlds (which probably makes these book-banners think I'm a bad mom anyway, but that's for another day. It was educational, they wanted to go, we went.) Many of the exhibits were male, and about half and hour in, my five-year-old asked, "hey, what are those things hanging down that look like balls?" I managed to stifle my giggles and gave her an explanation just as I had the exhibits on hearts, lungs and gallbladders. My point it, you have to talk about scrotums sometime.
Anyway, the article is about the children's book The Higher Power of Lucky , and the fact that the book--OMG--contains the word "scrotum". And apparently there is a select group of librarians who think that scrotum is a bad word and that kids aren't allowed to knw the meaning of it.
I generally think that banning books is a bad idea. First, I think that parents should monitor what their children read--not the library, the school or the state. Second, I don't think I'm the only one who wants to read a book just because its been labeled "banned." Third, the reasons books get banned are usually for stupid reasons made up by short-sighted closed-minded people. This book appears to be just such a case (with the caveat that I haven't read it myself, only read a few articles.) WTH is wrong with "scrotum?" It's a body part--kids need to learn about body parts. Even the ones that might make us grown-ups a little uncomfortable.
Case in point, on our last vacation we took the kids to see BodyWorlds (which probably makes these book-banners think I'm a bad mom anyway, but that's for another day. It was educational, they wanted to go, we went.) Many of the exhibits were male, and about half and hour in, my five-year-old asked, "hey, what are those things hanging down that look like balls?" I managed to stifle my giggles and gave her an explanation just as I had the exhibits on hearts, lungs and gallbladders. My point it, you have to talk about scrotums sometime.
2/19/07
Spring Fever
I just realized that Spring Break is only three weeks away, so I have been spending a lot of my newly found free time researching someplace to get away. I pulled up a US map and looked at what was w/in a day's drive. I realized that there were decent beaches not as far away as I thought, so I have rented a beach cottage for Spring Break.
Woohoo, I am so excited--I have never had a beach cottage before. I have only had a couple of very short beach trips in my life. This place is supposed to be quiet and secluded, perfect for relaxing, which is what I need right now.
The only problem is that all my researching of our vacation spot has left me totally in vacation mode and unable to settle down and focus on school work.
Must. go. read.
P.S. Just got an updated Wills & Trusts assignment. We are to read Anna Nicole's will. At least that should hold my interest more than the creation of fee tails.
Woohoo, I am so excited--I have never had a beach cottage before. I have only had a couple of very short beach trips in my life. This place is supposed to be quiet and secluded, perfect for relaxing, which is what I need right now.
The only problem is that all my researching of our vacation spot has left me totally in vacation mode and unable to settle down and focus on school work.
Must. go. read.
P.S. Just got an updated Wills & Trusts assignment. We are to read Anna Nicole's will. At least that should hold my interest more than the creation of fee tails.
So I guess I won't be hunting after all.
I had the meeting with Big Boss. He informed me that he wasn't planning to expand any further at this time. I informed him (very politely) that since that was the case, I was going to have to go clerk somehwere that was looking to expand. He did not seem to really care--probably because he has seen me about two times the entire time I have worked there.
The attorney's I have been working with weren't happy. I don't think they were upset with me as much a Big Boss. They are buried, need help, and know I do a good job. Expletives were uttered, but both (without my even asking) assured me that they would give me excellent references.
Honestly, I am relieved that don't have to balance work and school anymore. It was almost more than I could handle and my stress level was increasing exponentially by the day. I have free time again. (And by free time, I mean that I can clean my house and do my laundry.) I was able to spend this weekend hanging out with the kids instead of trying to do all of my reading for the week because I didn't have time during the week. (Yes, even as a 3L I am still reading--probably only because I don't have a job.)
My only frustration is that I am back to square one on the job hunt. I am not overly stressed yet, but I would like to not have the stress of being unemployed when I take the bar.
The attorney's I have been working with weren't happy. I don't think they were upset with me as much a Big Boss. They are buried, need help, and know I do a good job. Expletives were uttered, but both (without my even asking) assured me that they would give me excellent references.
Honestly, I am relieved that don't have to balance work and school anymore. It was almost more than I could handle and my stress level was increasing exponentially by the day. I have free time again. (And by free time, I mean that I can clean my house and do my laundry.) I was able to spend this weekend hanging out with the kids instead of trying to do all of my reading for the week because I didn't have time during the week. (Yes, even as a 3L I am still reading--probably only because I don't have a job.)
My only frustration is that I am back to square one on the job hunt. I am not overly stressed yet, but I would like to not have the stress of being unemployed when I take the bar.
2/9/07
2/6/07
You eat what you kill
I met with the attorney who hired me yesterday to get a new batch of assignments. He asked if how I was doing and if I liked it there. Since I have been intending to sniff out whether I have a shot at a permanent position, I told him that I was in the middle of the great 3L job hunt and that the primary reason I was there was to secure permanent employment. Then I asked if hiring me was on Big Boss's radar.
I was told that I was definitely on the radar and that I needed to make an appt w/ Big Boss to discuss further. Then I was warned that Big Boss pays his employees differently than any other firm; hence, "you eat what you kill". It sounds like what you earn is essentially commission based.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. There is definitely the potential for big $$. But I will have some serious student loan obligations, and it could take years to get my first settlement/judgment. I would definitely have to get a decent base for such an arrangement to be feasible. It's all speculation at this point anyway--I guess I need to set up the meeting w/ Big Boss before I do too much worrying.
I was told that I was definitely on the radar and that I needed to make an appt w/ Big Boss to discuss further. Then I was warned that Big Boss pays his employees differently than any other firm; hence, "you eat what you kill". It sounds like what you earn is essentially commission based.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. There is definitely the potential for big $$. But I will have some serious student loan obligations, and it could take years to get my first settlement/judgment. I would definitely have to get a decent base for such an arrangement to be feasible. It's all speculation at this point anyway--I guess I need to set up the meeting w/ Big Boss before I do too much worrying.
2/4/07
I love her, but do I have to like her?
My 8 y.o. DD has become increasingly unpleasant to be around. She is sulky and moody and treats her Dad and me like we are complete idiots. I thought we had at least 3-4 years before we had to contend with this kind of behavior. Even her 5 y.o. sister commented today, "C. just whines and complains all the time." I truly do not know what to do about it.
I have always felt a special bond with my oldest DD--she was an only child for almost three years and always seemed to need me in a way the twins never did (after all, they have had each other since before they were even born). Now I feel like all I do is yell at her for her bad attitude. Even when we try to do something nice for her, she turns around and acts like an ungrateful brat.
I'm afraid that I have given the kids a little too much slack in making up for mommy going to law school. I was pretty strict as a SAHM and not one to give into the material demands of my children. While I am still on the stricter end of the parenting scale, I give in more on the smaller battles. And now my 8 y.o. (who never threw a tantrum in store as a toddler) thinks that she can pout and sulk everytime she doesn't get her way. (e.g. When DD was told that we needed to go to the grocery store on Saturday, her reply was "What do I get out of it?" Ummm, lets see, you get food to eat, and you don't have to stay home and do chores.) Arrghhh. I just want my sweet little girl back.
I have always felt a special bond with my oldest DD--she was an only child for almost three years and always seemed to need me in a way the twins never did (after all, they have had each other since before they were even born). Now I feel like all I do is yell at her for her bad attitude. Even when we try to do something nice for her, she turns around and acts like an ungrateful brat.
I'm afraid that I have given the kids a little too much slack in making up for mommy going to law school. I was pretty strict as a SAHM and not one to give into the material demands of my children. While I am still on the stricter end of the parenting scale, I give in more on the smaller battles. And now my 8 y.o. (who never threw a tantrum in store as a toddler) thinks that she can pout and sulk everytime she doesn't get her way. (e.g. When DD was told that we needed to go to the grocery store on Saturday, her reply was "What do I get out of it?" Ummm, lets see, you get food to eat, and you don't have to stay home and do chores.) Arrghhh. I just want my sweet little girl back.
2/3/07
It's not so bad, really
I have this gap between my bottom front teeth. It began during my pregnancy with the twins (that whole story is a nightmare which maybe I will blog about some day, but for background, I was hospitalized most of the first 5 months because I literally could not keep anything down. I lost 30 lbs., my hair started falling out and my teeth became loose. My docs told me to consider terminating before I starved to death). Anyway, the twins are 5 now,and I am really self-conscious about the gap. I wanted orthodontics, but I was told that my gums would have to be strengthened first.
So, yesterday I had gum surgery. They grafted tissue they scraped from the roof of my mouth to my bottom front gums, and on my back right pulled back the gums to remove bacteria and other yucky stuff back there. Now I have stitches in the front and back of my mouth and a plastic stint that covers the entire roof of my mouth.
It sounds awful, and believe me I was terrified, but one day out it's not so bad. I took Vicoden last night and kept an ice pack on my face and that managed the pain well. This morning I am going to see if I can make it w/o drugs--I need to get some reading done and I don't like taking unnecessary meds.
The worst is that I have to keep this stint in for two weeks. Oh, and I can't eat anything that I have to bite for two weeks. That will be fun, since I eat on the road more often than at home, but I am going to consider it my new diet plan. Maybe I'll get straight teeth and a slimmer figure from this whole ordeal.
So, yesterday I had gum surgery. They grafted tissue they scraped from the roof of my mouth to my bottom front gums, and on my back right pulled back the gums to remove bacteria and other yucky stuff back there. Now I have stitches in the front and back of my mouth and a plastic stint that covers the entire roof of my mouth.
It sounds awful, and believe me I was terrified, but one day out it's not so bad. I took Vicoden last night and kept an ice pack on my face and that managed the pain well. This morning I am going to see if I can make it w/o drugs--I need to get some reading done and I don't like taking unnecessary meds.
The worst is that I have to keep this stint in for two weeks. Oh, and I can't eat anything that I have to bite for two weeks. That will be fun, since I eat on the road more often than at home, but I am going to consider it my new diet plan. Maybe I'll get straight teeth and a slimmer figure from this whole ordeal.
1/31/07
Enough Already
Stinky Food Guy now has some competition for the most irritating non-gunner. We'll call her Noisy Sandwich Girl, and she is in both my T/Th and M/W 6:00 classes. Apparently, she gets this concoction with just the guts of the sandwich and no bread. Without bread, its kinda hard to hold the damn thing together, so it is all wrapped up in paper. And as she eats she just keeps ripping and crinkling paper. I honest to god do not know how she manages to make so much freaking noise. It's like letting a puppy loose in the Sunday paper. And she is apparently oblivious to the fact that no one within a 6 seat radius can hear a damn thing while she is chowing down. Good thing I'm a 3L and don't really care what happens in class anymore. And at least her sandwich isn't stinky.
1/30/07
Tip of the Day: Don't Chew Gum in Court
I attended a motion hearing yesterday. One of the attorneys on the other side was chomping on gum the entire time. This was not a young attorney--he was probably in his late 40's. It was very unprofessional and gave the impression that he just didn't care that much about the proceeding.
The hearing was in the court that I interned in during my 1L summer. I am probably more comfortable in that courtroom than any other I have ever been in, because I had the run of the place during that summer. There was no office space for interns, so we did our research from the computer at the bench and took over counsel tables to review files. (It was kinda fun when attorneys would walk in and wonder why "some kid" was sitting at the bench--especially if they did not know the judge.)
But my judge was not re-elected, so it was strange to see someone new sitting on the bench. The bailiffs were the same and gave me big hugs, but the rest of the staff replaced by the new judge. It was kind of sad.
The hearing was in the court that I interned in during my 1L summer. I am probably more comfortable in that courtroom than any other I have ever been in, because I had the run of the place during that summer. There was no office space for interns, so we did our research from the computer at the bench and took over counsel tables to review files. (It was kinda fun when attorneys would walk in and wonder why "some kid" was sitting at the bench--especially if they did not know the judge.)
But my judge was not re-elected, so it was strange to see someone new sitting on the bench. The bailiffs were the same and gave me big hugs, but the rest of the staff replaced by the new judge. It was kind of sad.
1/24/07
They say it's your birthday...
...it's my birthday too, yeah.*
I turned 27 today. At least if you use my new style of math where you start going backward the year you are supposed to turn 30.
I worked from 8:30 until 2:00, picked the kids up at 3:00, read con law till 4:30, left to to the kid swap and have dinner w/ DH at 5:00, gulped down average BBQ from the joint across the street from school and was sitting in con law from 6:00-7:15. Back home by 8:00, where I vegged on the sofa and ate a yummy chocolate cake that DH baked. I would say the day kinda sucked, but after the last two years, it was a great.
The bad part is that the above schedule is pretty much my life now, except that most nights I don't get home till 10. Work has gotten better, but I think they want more than I can give. I don't even have time to get my reading done for classes, and I feel like I never see the kids. I feel like something needs to give, but I don't know what. I would quit my job, but right now it is my best prospect for a permanent position. I can't slack off at school because I don't have a guaranteed position, and I have to keep my grades up. My down time is the weekend, but I have to work in 30 hours of public service before I can graduate, and I need that time to catch up on reading, and oh yeah, work told me today that I am more than welcome to work from home (in addition to being in the office) to get all of my projects done. This semester is just gonna suck.
OK pity-party over. I'll try to post more frequently and less bitchily. (Bitchily! ha, I made a new word!)
*A family tradition around here is to blast the birthday song on everybody's b-day.
I turned 27 today. At least if you use my new style of math where you start going backward the year you are supposed to turn 30.
I worked from 8:30 until 2:00, picked the kids up at 3:00, read con law till 4:30, left to to the kid swap and have dinner w/ DH at 5:00, gulped down average BBQ from the joint across the street from school and was sitting in con law from 6:00-7:15. Back home by 8:00, where I vegged on the sofa and ate a yummy chocolate cake that DH baked. I would say the day kinda sucked, but after the last two years, it was a great.
The bad part is that the above schedule is pretty much my life now, except that most nights I don't get home till 10. Work has gotten better, but I think they want more than I can give. I don't even have time to get my reading done for classes, and I feel like I never see the kids. I feel like something needs to give, but I don't know what. I would quit my job, but right now it is my best prospect for a permanent position. I can't slack off at school because I don't have a guaranteed position, and I have to keep my grades up. My down time is the weekend, but I have to work in 30 hours of public service before I can graduate, and I need that time to catch up on reading, and oh yeah, work told me today that I am more than welcome to work from home (in addition to being in the office) to get all of my projects done. This semester is just gonna suck.
OK pity-party over. I'll try to post more frequently and less bitchily. (Bitchily! ha, I made a new word!)
*A family tradition around here is to blast the birthday song on everybody's b-day.
1/21/07
Funeral Songs
My family sang a certain song about a frog who's name starts with J. at the graveside rites for my grandmother.* There was sheet music and everything. It was a toss-up between "Jeremiah" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer," but they decided the latter was inappropriate for a funeral. No, I am not kidding.
I flew in Wednesday for the funeral. My uncle's ex-wife was on the same flight. With what appeared to be her boyfriend. Because its always appropriate to take your new boyfriend to your ex-husband's mother's funeral.
I flew back home Friday morning because I had just about all of my insane family that I could take. And I was thankful that I live 400 miles away and can leave it all behind.
* This post has been edited because I was getting an insane amount of hits searching for the lyrics to the song. Who knew it was so popular?
I flew in Wednesday for the funeral. My uncle's ex-wife was on the same flight. With what appeared to be her boyfriend. Because its always appropriate to take your new boyfriend to your ex-husband's mother's funeral.
I flew back home Friday morning because I had just about all of my insane family that I could take. And I was thankful that I live 400 miles away and can leave it all behind.
* This post has been edited because I was getting an insane amount of hits searching for the lyrics to the song. Who knew it was so popular?
1/10/07
The F Word
8 y.o. DD: "Somebody wrote the "F" word on inside the playground equipment."
5 y.o. DD: "Ya mean, Fart?"
Me: (after I quit laughing at 5 y.o. and apologized for embarrassing her) "What do you know about the "F" word?"
8 y.o. DD: "I know you say it a lot to the other drivers when we're in the car."
Oops, thought I was doing a better job of censoring myself when the kids are in the car. My potty mouth really is my biggest downfall as a parent.
5 y.o. DD: "Ya mean, Fart?"
Me: (after I quit laughing at 5 y.o. and apologized for embarrassing her) "What do you know about the "F" word?"
8 y.o. DD: "I know you say it a lot to the other drivers when we're in the car."
Oops, thought I was doing a better job of censoring myself when the kids are in the car. My potty mouth really is my biggest downfall as a parent.
Book Math
Bought books today. At about $250, it was the least I have ever spent on books for a semester. This is partly because I am able to re-use the book I had for Con Law I in Con Law II, and also because one of my profs is working on the final manuscript for the newest textbook, so we will be provided with the manuscript.
So what did I do with my savings? Went shopping, of course. I needed to have the charms that DD got for Christmas put on her bracelet, so I had to go to the mall. I got 2 suits and a sweater at Ann Taylor Loft for $250. I figure that pretty much put me even with what I should have spent on books, and I got a great deal on the suits, too. I got this suit (minus the hat) which is very different than anything else in my closet, but it was a great deal and gives me the appearance of having a waist (I'm built like a boy) and its fun to do something a little trendy every now and then. (I usually stick to very classic styles.)
But wait, it gets better. Once I got home I checked out my textbook prices online. (I can't do this until after a trip to the bookstore, because the bookstore is the only place to get textbook lists.) I found one of my books $40 cheaper at Amazon! Then, I found my Wills and Trusts book on half.com for $10, brand new--I paid $78 in the bookstore. So, I have now saved another $100 on books, which actually puts me below my semester book budget by $100 even if you add in my new duds. I think that means I can go shopping again--I really think I need tall black boots to go with the new suit.
So what did I do with my savings? Went shopping, of course. I needed to have the charms that DD got for Christmas put on her bracelet, so I had to go to the mall. I got 2 suits and a sweater at Ann Taylor Loft for $250. I figure that pretty much put me even with what I should have spent on books, and I got a great deal on the suits, too. I got this suit (minus the hat) which is very different than anything else in my closet, but it was a great deal and gives me the appearance of having a waist (I'm built like a boy) and its fun to do something a little trendy every now and then. (I usually stick to very classic styles.)
But wait, it gets better. Once I got home I checked out my textbook prices online. (I can't do this until after a trip to the bookstore, because the bookstore is the only place to get textbook lists.) I found one of my books $40 cheaper at Amazon! Then, I found my Wills and Trusts book on half.com for $10, brand new--I paid $78 in the bookstore. So, I have now saved another $100 on books, which actually puts me below my semester book budget by $100 even if you add in my new duds. I think that means I can go shopping again--I really think I need tall black boots to go with the new suit.
1/8/07
Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now.
Oh yeah--I totally could not get in to the ladies room today. Don't know if I forgot the combination or just couldn't work the lock. It's really hard to figure out a lock when you really gotta go. For heaven's sake, I have had three children use my bladder for a trampoline (and two of them at the same time!), I can only take so much. Finally someone else came along, and I went in behind her.
Work seemed better today. I finally got to work on something not related to galvanized steel. God, I am sick of steel. I got all of my assignments turned in (two days early!), so it will be interesting to see what tomorrow brings. (Although with my luck it will probably be revisions of what I did today.)
I saw Big Boss and he was nice to me today. Also, I did not get pulled of of anything to help Grumpy Paralegal--ha!
Work seemed better today. I finally got to work on something not related to galvanized steel. God, I am sick of steel. I got all of my assignments turned in (two days early!), so it will be interesting to see what tomorrow brings. (Although with my luck it will probably be revisions of what I did today.)
I saw Big Boss and he was nice to me today. Also, I did not get pulled of of anything to help Grumpy Paralegal--ha!
1/5/07
So, I found the ladies room
For the first time at my new job I had to use the ladies room. And at that point it occurred to me that I had never seen the ladies room. Apparently because it is down the hall from our office, which takes up about half of one floor in a medium-sized office building.
The restroom had a lock on it. Not like a privacy lock for a single stall unit. A push button combination lock to keep everybody out of a multi-stall restroom. Fortunately, it was not an emergency and the receptionist provided me with this information before I traversed the building to heed nature's call.
Now why in the heck would someone put a combination lock on the restroom? My first though was perhaps to prevent crime--is the management afraid that women will be attacked in the restroom? I'm pretty sure the men's room doesn't have a lock (it's right across the hall from our office and I have seen guys come and go without fiddling with a lock). But we're not exactly in a high crime area. This firm is in the suburbs. Off a major highway--not a lot of potential walk-in traffic. And this restroom is on the 5th floor. Yeah--if I were gonna assault a woman in the restroom I would totally pick the 5th floor of a random office building all by itself in the suburbs.
Anyway, note to self--don't want til the last minute.
The restroom had a lock on it. Not like a privacy lock for a single stall unit. A push button combination lock to keep everybody out of a multi-stall restroom. Fortunately, it was not an emergency and the receptionist provided me with this information before I traversed the building to heed nature's call.
Now why in the heck would someone put a combination lock on the restroom? My first though was perhaps to prevent crime--is the management afraid that women will be attacked in the restroom? I'm pretty sure the men's room doesn't have a lock (it's right across the hall from our office and I have seen guys come and go without fiddling with a lock). But we're not exactly in a high crime area. This firm is in the suburbs. Off a major highway--not a lot of potential walk-in traffic. And this restroom is on the 5th floor. Yeah--if I were gonna assault a woman in the restroom I would totally pick the 5th floor of a random office building all by itself in the suburbs.
Anyway, note to self--don't want til the last minute.
1/3/07
Not liking my new job
I am just not crazy about the place I am working. I am left all day in my little cubicle that I share with wayward computer parts, cut off from everybody else. There are only four attorneys (all men) who all run around and do their own thing. The support staff is all women who dote on the men and seem like they don't quite know what to make of me. Being an almost-lawyer, I'm not really one of them, but I am not another man for them to dote on, either. And I don't think they trust me--even though I have tried to be really nice.
Grumpy Paralegal keeps trying to give me assignments, and I keep dodging them (because I have a full plate of stuff from the attorneys). Today he informed me that after he met with Big Boss, I would probably be pulled off my current assignment because he needed soooo much help. Bite me. The he told me that the reason he needs soooo much help is because he is leaving mid-month and needs to get stuff wrapped up. Yea! At least I won't have to deal with Grumpy Paralegal anymore.
That's actually doubly good news. (Well, it would be good news if I ever start to like it there, anyway. ) I was told when I was hired that there was a chance this position could become permanent. They had one lawyer leave recently and really need another lawyer in the firm. I thought my chances were slim since they already had a paralegal who was in law school and would presumably be up for the job, but it looks like I am back in the running.
Anyway, despite how I feel, the attorneys at least seem to like my work. I was told my first motion was fantastic and was then gifted with a brief plus the two MSJ responses I have been working on all due by next Wed. Yea me.
Grumpy Paralegal keeps trying to give me assignments, and I keep dodging them (because I have a full plate of stuff from the attorneys). Today he informed me that after he met with Big Boss, I would probably be pulled off my current assignment because he needed soooo much help. Bite me. The he told me that the reason he needs soooo much help is because he is leaving mid-month and needs to get stuff wrapped up. Yea! At least I won't have to deal with Grumpy Paralegal anymore.
That's actually doubly good news. (Well, it would be good news if I ever start to like it there, anyway. ) I was told when I was hired that there was a chance this position could become permanent. They had one lawyer leave recently and really need another lawyer in the firm. I thought my chances were slim since they already had a paralegal who was in law school and would presumably be up for the job, but it looks like I am back in the running.
Anyway, despite how I feel, the attorneys at least seem to like my work. I was told my first motion was fantastic and was then gifted with a brief plus the two MSJ responses I have been working on all due by next Wed. Yea me.
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