It turns out that my mom took a fall and, miraculously, did not break anything, but suffered a severe cut. It took something like 36 stitches plus some surgical glue and steri-strips to patch her up. And apparently her face took the brunt of the fall and she looks like she's been in a bar fight.
Her husband left town to visit his elderly mother the day before the fall , so my brother and his girls are stuck babysitting her all weekend. It's their last weekend before school starts, and he is a teacher and has last minute prep work. I'm pretty sure he would strangle me if he could for living 400 miles away and leaving him to deal with the chaos. I told him to tell her to pay my 25-year-old out-of work cousin to be her caretaker for a few days. My mother can afford it and my cousin could use the cash. (Maybe this sounds harsh, but she has never really stepped up to help me or my brother when times were tough. He was a teenage parent who has struggled a lot, with virtually no help from either of our parents.)
Also got the garage door fixed. I went with the guy with a slightly higher quote just because he was friendly and really good about explaining the issues when I spoke with him. The guy with the lower quote was kind of an ass on the phone. Just goes to show, customer service counts.
Wound up our evening watching Close Encounters of the Third Kind for family movie night. DH was disappointed to learn that the girls and I just didn't appreciate it the way he does.
8/21/10
8/20/10
Chaos
Can it stop please.
First my nanny put in notice, leaving me once again scrambling for child care. Then I realized that this totally screws up our cruise plans for November. My final payment is due in two weeks, and then it becomes nonrefundable. We are screwed if we don't have reliable child care in place. Or we can cancel now. Or we can just take the kids. But this is our anniversary trip, and we really wanted grown-up time. And the trip we are booked on would require pulling the kids out of school, which I am really opposed to--especially since this is a totally non-educational trip.
Then nanny's car got vandalized--eggs were broken all over the interior of her car--so she had to deal with getting it cleaned while she was watching the girls yesterday. And when she pulled her car into the driveway, our garage door became demon-possessed and wouldn't stop opening and closing. She called me frantically at work, and I told her to throw the breaker, because nothing would make it stop. Turns out the spring broke.
Then we had PS's schedule pick up night, where we attempted to find all of her classes in her new middle school. The place was a zoo, and I pray she doesn't get lost on the first day.
Then as soon as I walked into work this morning, the receptionist informed me that our firm had been burgled overnight, and I needed to check my office to see if anything was missing. the thieves had started loading up our computers and had them stacked up by the back door. Security caught them in the act, and the bad guys got away, but it doesn't look like they took anything. Our office is on the 9th floor! Who the hell breaks into a 9th floor office? Or a law firm? It's not like we keep any cash on the premises.
Once I finally got settled in, I started making calls to have the garage door fixed. Apparently replacing the spring is not a do-it-yourself project.
Left the office early for the twins' meet the teacher night. Another zoo. And SS' teacher had a baby today, so SS will have a sub for the first 6 weeks of school. Also, all of TT's and SS's friends are in TT's class--poor SS has no one (fortunately, she can make friends anywhere, so I think she'll be fine.)
I was supposed to meet with new prospective nanny immediately after meet the teacher night, but she flaked. Arghhh.
Got a call from my brother at 10:30 tonight saying that my mom fell and there was blood everywhere and she was in shock and an ambulance was taking her to the hospital. Brother was on the way to meet her at the hospital and didn't have a lot of information, so I am staying up until he calls back. My mom is in terrible health and has had many joint replacements, so it wouldn't surprise me to hear she broke something, but the blood everywhere is concerning. And I her bones are so brittle and she's already had so many replacements that my understanding is that they can't do any more replacements.
I'm afraid to see what tomorrow holds.
First my nanny put in notice, leaving me once again scrambling for child care. Then I realized that this totally screws up our cruise plans for November. My final payment is due in two weeks, and then it becomes nonrefundable. We are screwed if we don't have reliable child care in place. Or we can cancel now. Or we can just take the kids. But this is our anniversary trip, and we really wanted grown-up time. And the trip we are booked on would require pulling the kids out of school, which I am really opposed to--especially since this is a totally non-educational trip.
Then nanny's car got vandalized--eggs were broken all over the interior of her car--so she had to deal with getting it cleaned while she was watching the girls yesterday. And when she pulled her car into the driveway, our garage door became demon-possessed and wouldn't stop opening and closing. She called me frantically at work, and I told her to throw the breaker, because nothing would make it stop. Turns out the spring broke.
Then we had PS's schedule pick up night, where we attempted to find all of her classes in her new middle school. The place was a zoo, and I pray she doesn't get lost on the first day.
Then as soon as I walked into work this morning, the receptionist informed me that our firm had been burgled overnight, and I needed to check my office to see if anything was missing. the thieves had started loading up our computers and had them stacked up by the back door. Security caught them in the act, and the bad guys got away, but it doesn't look like they took anything. Our office is on the 9th floor! Who the hell breaks into a 9th floor office? Or a law firm? It's not like we keep any cash on the premises.
Once I finally got settled in, I started making calls to have the garage door fixed. Apparently replacing the spring is not a do-it-yourself project.
Left the office early for the twins' meet the teacher night. Another zoo. And SS' teacher had a baby today, so SS will have a sub for the first 6 weeks of school. Also, all of TT's and SS's friends are in TT's class--poor SS has no one (fortunately, she can make friends anywhere, so I think she'll be fine.)
I was supposed to meet with new prospective nanny immediately after meet the teacher night, but she flaked. Arghhh.
Got a call from my brother at 10:30 tonight saying that my mom fell and there was blood everywhere and she was in shock and an ambulance was taking her to the hospital. Brother was on the way to meet her at the hospital and didn't have a lot of information, so I am staying up until he calls back. My mom is in terrible health and has had many joint replacements, so it wouldn't surprise me to hear she broke something, but the blood everywhere is concerning. And I her bones are so brittle and she's already had so many replacements that my understanding is that they can't do any more replacements.
I'm afraid to see what tomorrow holds.
8/16/10
Sigh...
The new nanny put in notice today. She has decided to go back to school. In Virginia.
We've only had her for 5 weeks. I knew she was over-qualified when I hired her, but I hoped that she would last longer than this. We talked about her having one year of college left, but I guess I wrongly assumed that she would attend school here. You could definitely work a college schedule around my girls' after-school schedule.
Ugh. I lost an entire weekend to interviewing nannies the last time around, and am not looking forward to a repeat. Plus my girls have already become attached to new nanny, and a little stability would be nice.
One of the biggest challenges of being a working mom is finding quality child care. My mom left us with whatever in-home care provider she could find at a bargain--and we had some of the worst babysitters on the planet over the years. There was the one who made a boy drink his own pee because he wet the bed; the one who burned her grass and stomped it out with her house slippers; the one who allowed her 5th grader to smoke; the 16 year old runaway who lived on our couch until she disappeared one day, taking all of the cash in my piggy bank; the crazy holy roller who told us graphic crucifixion stories and took us to church were people were speaking in tongues and turning cartwheels in the aisles, and who yelled at us for wearing shorts because God didn't approve (then God shouldn't have given us triple-digit summers) and who took us to the free summer lunch program in the parks and then took all of the leftovers to feed us the rest of the week, and who crammed about 5 kids into the back of a Volkswagen Rabbit, and who had a pet guinea pig who was allowed to run all over the house, leaving a trial of guinea pig pellets. Makes the one who just plopped us in front of the soaps all summer not seem so bad.
So, my very bad childhood experience makes child care a very high priority for me. And so far we've been lucky in that every nanny seems to have genuinely cared about my children. But I don't like the turnover of the last couple of months, and it's hard on the kids.
The tiny ray of hope is that the #2 choice from my interviews is still interested in the position. Hopefully it will work out, but when I interviewed her she had another job that I was concerned would conflict, so we'll see.
We've only had her for 5 weeks. I knew she was over-qualified when I hired her, but I hoped that she would last longer than this. We talked about her having one year of college left, but I guess I wrongly assumed that she would attend school here. You could definitely work a college schedule around my girls' after-school schedule.
Ugh. I lost an entire weekend to interviewing nannies the last time around, and am not looking forward to a repeat. Plus my girls have already become attached to new nanny, and a little stability would be nice.
One of the biggest challenges of being a working mom is finding quality child care. My mom left us with whatever in-home care provider she could find at a bargain--and we had some of the worst babysitters on the planet over the years. There was the one who made a boy drink his own pee because he wet the bed; the one who burned her grass and stomped it out with her house slippers; the one who allowed her 5th grader to smoke; the 16 year old runaway who lived on our couch until she disappeared one day, taking all of the cash in my piggy bank; the crazy holy roller who told us graphic crucifixion stories and took us to church were people were speaking in tongues and turning cartwheels in the aisles, and who yelled at us for wearing shorts because God didn't approve (then God shouldn't have given us triple-digit summers) and who took us to the free summer lunch program in the parks and then took all of the leftovers to feed us the rest of the week, and who crammed about 5 kids into the back of a Volkswagen Rabbit, and who had a pet guinea pig who was allowed to run all over the house, leaving a trial of guinea pig pellets. Makes the one who just plopped us in front of the soaps all summer not seem so bad.
So, my very bad childhood experience makes child care a very high priority for me. And so far we've been lucky in that every nanny seems to have genuinely cared about my children. But I don't like the turnover of the last couple of months, and it's hard on the kids.
The tiny ray of hope is that the #2 choice from my interviews is still interested in the position. Hopefully it will work out, but when I interviewed her she had another job that I was concerned would conflict, so we'll see.
8/15/10
Must See Adorableness
I found Mila's Daydreams today and was amazed by the creativity and sheer cuteness. One of those things I wish I had thought of when my girls were little. But then, when my little ones were sleeping, I wouldn't have dared move them for fear that they would wake up!See, I'm not totally old and cranky. I still enjoy pictures of adorable babies--I just don't want to hear them cry!
I'm old and cranky
I have reached the point in my life where screaming children grate on my last nerve. I was in the grocery store today and a little boy (probably about 18 months) kept screeching. His parents have apparently learned to block out this ear-piercing scream, as they seemed completely unaffected and never broke from their conversation
And it now seems that I encounter a similar situation every single time I leave the house--which leaves me eternally grateful that my children are now big kids. I'm sure they had their moments when they were toddlers, but I don't recall allowing them to scream without recourse. And I can count on one hand the number of temper-tantrums they collectively threw.
I miss the cute snuggliness of their toddler years, but I really enjoy the freedom that we have now to get-up-and go, and to go all day if we want (and not have to pack up half the house!). I really enjoyed my shopping trips with the girls these past two days--something that would have been torture just a couple of years ago.
Of course, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. On Friday my nanny called me at work, distraught because the kids had let a stray dog into the house who was taking it upon itself to run around marking his territory--and they told her that I had said it was ok. Of course, I had told them no such thing (they texted me that they had found a stray, and I told them to put it in the backyard with water and that I would deal with it when I got home.) They ended up in a world of trouble--but at least they are old enough to reason with and appreciate why their actions were such a bad idea, once they were explained.
It seems like everyone I know if pregnant right now. A year ago, I might have had some major baby cravings. But in the last 6 months, they have completely disappeared. I got lots of sunggle time with my newborn nephew when MIL was in hospice. I enjoyed the sweet smell of a new baby--but I was awfully darn happy to give him back to his mama when he was inconsolable. And I'm awfully darn happy with my big girls.
And it now seems that I encounter a similar situation every single time I leave the house--which leaves me eternally grateful that my children are now big kids. I'm sure they had their moments when they were toddlers, but I don't recall allowing them to scream without recourse. And I can count on one hand the number of temper-tantrums they collectively threw.
I miss the cute snuggliness of their toddler years, but I really enjoy the freedom that we have now to get-up-and go, and to go all day if we want (and not have to pack up half the house!). I really enjoyed my shopping trips with the girls these past two days--something that would have been torture just a couple of years ago.
Of course, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. On Friday my nanny called me at work, distraught because the kids had let a stray dog into the house who was taking it upon itself to run around marking his territory--and they told her that I had said it was ok. Of course, I had told them no such thing (they texted me that they had found a stray, and I told them to put it in the backyard with water and that I would deal with it when I got home.) They ended up in a world of trouble--but at least they are old enough to reason with and appreciate why their actions were such a bad idea, once they were explained.
It seems like everyone I know if pregnant right now. A year ago, I might have had some major baby cravings. But in the last 6 months, they have completely disappeared. I got lots of sunggle time with my newborn nephew when MIL was in hospice. I enjoyed the sweet smell of a new baby--but I was awfully darn happy to give him back to his mama when he was inconsolable. And I'm awfully darn happy with my big girls.
8/14/10
And so it begins
School, that is. I'm not really ready for school to start again. I enjoy to more relaxed pace of summer, where I get to sleep in an extra half hour because I'm not nagging three kids to move along in the morning, and where we don't lose most of our evening to math homework or PTA programs or back-to-back soccer practices.
Next week is our last week of summer vacation, but the hecticness has already started to creep back in. PS, who is starting her first year of middle school, had cheer camp all last week, and last night we had to rush home for her show-offs. And next week we have back to school nights on Thursday and Friday. We now have the added challenge of kids in two different schools. Meet the teacher nights will also be on consecutive nights the first week of September.
I'm worried about how my quiet, bookish PS will fare in middle school. PS is petite and also the youngest in her class--which makes her the smallest in her class. She looked like a little kid imposing among the much taller cheerleaders last night. Her BFF is about a foot taller than she, but they've always had a huge spread.
Nevertheless, she is apparently growing, because a survey of her closet this morning revealed that all of the shorts I bought at the beginning of summer are now too small. So today we went shopping. She is unfortunately caught between the kids' and juniors' clothing departments. I remember that place well when I was going into junior high--too small for the junior's department and not wanting to wear kid clothes. Fortunately, we now live in a much larger city than I did growing up, and she has more options. She can wear XS t-shirts from Delias, Abercrombie and Aeropostale. And she can wear a size 00 skinny jean at Delias. But the 00 at American Eagle and Aeropostale swallowed her. So we ended up in the kids' department at Old Navy for some basic denim capris and mini-skirts--nothing too obviously from the kids' department. We got some super-cute outfits and a pair of sparkly purple Converse.
Tomorrow I'll take the twins shoe shopping. Their closet is well stocked, thanks to PS's hand-me-downs, but their feet have now overtaken hers (should 4th graders be wearing a Women's size 6???) and the flip-flops they have been living in all summer aren't allowed at school.
Next week is our last week of summer vacation, but the hecticness has already started to creep back in. PS, who is starting her first year of middle school, had cheer camp all last week, and last night we had to rush home for her show-offs. And next week we have back to school nights on Thursday and Friday. We now have the added challenge of kids in two different schools. Meet the teacher nights will also be on consecutive nights the first week of September.
I'm worried about how my quiet, bookish PS will fare in middle school. PS is petite and also the youngest in her class--which makes her the smallest in her class. She looked like a little kid imposing among the much taller cheerleaders last night. Her BFF is about a foot taller than she, but they've always had a huge spread.
Nevertheless, she is apparently growing, because a survey of her closet this morning revealed that all of the shorts I bought at the beginning of summer are now too small. So today we went shopping. She is unfortunately caught between the kids' and juniors' clothing departments. I remember that place well when I was going into junior high--too small for the junior's department and not wanting to wear kid clothes. Fortunately, we now live in a much larger city than I did growing up, and she has more options. She can wear XS t-shirts from Delias, Abercrombie and Aeropostale. And she can wear a size 00 skinny jean at Delias. But the 00 at American Eagle and Aeropostale swallowed her. So we ended up in the kids' department at Old Navy for some basic denim capris and mini-skirts--nothing too obviously from the kids' department. We got some super-cute outfits and a pair of sparkly purple Converse.
Tomorrow I'll take the twins shoe shopping. Their closet is well stocked, thanks to PS's hand-me-downs, but their feet have now overtaken hers (should 4th graders be wearing a Women's size 6???) and the flip-flops they have been living in all summer aren't allowed at school.
8/10/10
Law Dork
I wish that I could blog more about the specifics of my job. My big case just got bigger and may turn out to be one of the most fun (in the lawyer sense) cases I have worked on thus far in my career.
There is a lot of money at stake. There are many wealthy and influential parties. We are treading completely new ground because there is absolutely no related case law in my state (I'm now looking at other states, but this is a pretty state-specific issue.) And to top it all off, opposing counsel is the biggest prick I have ever encountered. He has threatened to personally sue all of the other attorneys involved and had already brought about 10 preposterous claims against my client and the other parties involved. He reminds me of the two-year old who throws a temper-tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. Which just makes me want to grind him into dust with a stiletto heel.
I'm psyched. It's going to be a hell of a battle, but if the darn thing actually makes it to trial we will be creating a new area of law.
And in almost as exciting news, I officially got rid of the boots today. I actually ditched them last Thursday, but today was my follow-up appointment. My ankles are still broken and I still can't do any serious walking or running or anything else that causes an impact, but at least I can wear real shoes again. Doc also said that I can't do The Great Urban Race--which is a major bummer--but he thought I'd be ok climbing Mayan ruins and ziplining on our cruise in November.
There is a lot of money at stake. There are many wealthy and influential parties. We are treading completely new ground because there is absolutely no related case law in my state (I'm now looking at other states, but this is a pretty state-specific issue.) And to top it all off, opposing counsel is the biggest prick I have ever encountered. He has threatened to personally sue all of the other attorneys involved and had already brought about 10 preposterous claims against my client and the other parties involved. He reminds me of the two-year old who throws a temper-tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. Which just makes me want to grind him into dust with a stiletto heel.
I'm psyched. It's going to be a hell of a battle, but if the darn thing actually makes it to trial we will be creating a new area of law.
And in almost as exciting news, I officially got rid of the boots today. I actually ditched them last Thursday, but today was my follow-up appointment. My ankles are still broken and I still can't do any serious walking or running or anything else that causes an impact, but at least I can wear real shoes again. Doc also said that I can't do The Great Urban Race--which is a major bummer--but he thought I'd be ok climbing Mayan ruins and ziplining on our cruise in November.
8/4/10
So tired
After a couple of slow months I am hopping again. Big Boss put me on a new case with multiple complex issues, and I have spent the last week doing nothing but intense research. I am exhausted by the end of every day from being "on" all day.
I thought we were in good shape when I left yesterday, and took my time coming in to work this morning, after a week full of very early mornings. I was also planning to cut out of the office early today (I had originally planned to take the day off). Ha! As soon as I hit the office I had an email from Big Boss that was sent late yesterday (guess I hadn't bothered to check my iphone) expecting me to have reviewed a document by the time he got into the office. Oops. Fortunately it was short and I did have time to look over it before he arrived, but it set the tone for the rest of the day.
I finally left at 5:45, but have plenty to do this weekend. But DH and the twins left town for his sister's graduation, and I didn't want to leave PS alone for too long (and I had promised her some mommy time) so I rushed home so we could get some dinner. Then we went to the craft store to get supplies for a birthday present, went to Target for more supplies and the required workout clothes that PS needs for cheer camp next week (that I got an email about 2 days ago, thanks for all the notice), finally made it home by 9, spent an hour putting together our project (which turned out awesome, thankyouverymuch--maybe I'll post pics tomorrow) and collapsed in a heap of exhaustion.
Tomorrow PS and I are going to see Ramona and Beezus and do a little shopping as we meander our way to my uncle's house on the opposite end of the metroplex where my family is convening for my mother's 60th birthday.
Sunday I will finish up my work project because I have a Monday deadline. Hopefully (or maybe not) things will settle down next week. We're waiting the client to make a big decision. It will be a fun case to move forward with because of all of the complex issues--but it will mean a whole lot more craziness. And all of my other cases are acting like neglected children and are whining for attention. But being busy is so much better than the alternative.
I thought we were in good shape when I left yesterday, and took my time coming in to work this morning, after a week full of very early mornings. I was also planning to cut out of the office early today (I had originally planned to take the day off). Ha! As soon as I hit the office I had an email from Big Boss that was sent late yesterday (guess I hadn't bothered to check my iphone) expecting me to have reviewed a document by the time he got into the office. Oops. Fortunately it was short and I did have time to look over it before he arrived, but it set the tone for the rest of the day.
I finally left at 5:45, but have plenty to do this weekend. But DH and the twins left town for his sister's graduation, and I didn't want to leave PS alone for too long (and I had promised her some mommy time) so I rushed home so we could get some dinner. Then we went to the craft store to get supplies for a birthday present, went to Target for more supplies and the required workout clothes that PS needs for cheer camp next week (that I got an email about 2 days ago, thanks for all the notice), finally made it home by 9, spent an hour putting together our project (which turned out awesome, thankyouverymuch--maybe I'll post pics tomorrow) and collapsed in a heap of exhaustion.
Tomorrow PS and I are going to see Ramona and Beezus and do a little shopping as we meander our way to my uncle's house on the opposite end of the metroplex where my family is convening for my mother's 60th birthday.
Sunday I will finish up my work project because I have a Monday deadline. Hopefully (or maybe not) things will settle down next week. We're waiting the client to make a big decision. It will be a fun case to move forward with because of all of the complex issues--but it will mean a whole lot more craziness. And all of my other cases are acting like neglected children and are whining for attention. But being busy is so much better than the alternative.
8/3/10
Go ahead...analyze this one...
Last night I dreamed that people kept giving me dioramas and it was making me really mad. I did not want any more stinkin' dioramas! I swear I woke up every hour last night and every time I went back to sleep I dreamed about another stupid diorama.
I didn't know I had a hidden hatred for dioramas, but I woke up angry because of the diorama dreams.
I didn't know I had a hidden hatred for dioramas, but I woke up angry because of the diorama dreams.
8/1/10
The Great Divide
DH and the girls are at church. I am not. Because I don't believe in God, and I feel like a fraud when I go to church.
This is something of an issue in our marriage, and I'll admit that it's a little unfair to DH. After all, I was a purported Christian when we married. I had been raised in a fundamentalist church before my parents' divorce, and in the Baptist church after. And I grew up in a very conservative, smallish town where not being Christian was not an option. Everybody went to church.
So it wasn't until I went off to college (ironically, a Baptist school) that I began to question, and be turned off by, religion. I couldn't understand why any religion demanded intolerance of others--or why one group could be so certain that it was right and everyone else was wrong.
And this was my state of mind when DH and I married. Not an atheist, slightly agnostic, mostly fed-up with organized religion. And so I attended Catholic church with his devout family, and agreed to be married in the Catholic church because it was important to them and it was not to me.
My fundamentalist relatives thought I was going to Hell for marrying a Catholic, and DH's family assumed that I would eventually convert--especially since my mother had recently converted when she married hubby #3.
We attended the Catholic church together in the early part of our marriage, and had all of our kids baptized in the Catholic church. Even before my atheistic conversion, I thought it completely unnecessary to baptize children, but I did it because it was important to my husband's family and it wasn't a point worth arguing about.
By the time the twins came along, I was pretty much agnostic and going to church with three young children was a lot of trouble (no nursery), so we rarely attended. And sometime thereafter I admitted to myself, and to DH, that I simply didn't believe--and I couldn't make myself believe.
DH does not share my disbelief--and he worries about it. I am a closet atheist. Very few friends and relatives know that I am an atheist. This is partly because my MIL would have been genuinely worried about me--and she didn't need another burden, especially in the last years of her lift. My fundamentalist grandparents would also worry--although that concerns me less, since they already think I am going to Hell.
It is also not socially appropriate to be an atheist in this part of the world. Everyone just assumes you are Christian (unless you are obviously Jewish), and atheists are presumed to be outspoken God-haters who want to destroy Christianity.
For the record, I don't hate God, and I think Christianity is a great moral guidance system. I respect everyone's right to believe--or not--they way that they want. I would just like the same respect extended to my disbelief.
Anyway, one of MIL's deathbed requests was that our children have a religious education. She was clearly bothered that we had not been taking them to church. So DH has been taking them since her death. I feel a bit of guilt for not going--church does seem to be a family kind of thing--but every time I go, I feel like a poser. I don't believe in the songs they are singing or the message the pastor is delivering. And so they go, and I do not.
They kids know my position and their dad's position. They can make the decision about their own beliefs when the time is right for them. But, as DH pointed out, from a cultural standpoint, it is good for them to go to church and learn the bible stories and common biblical references that we all know. (Although, TT has read a 2" think illustrated children's Bible from cover to cover of her own volition, so she's self-educating.)
It's not ideal, but DH and I have mostly come to terms with our different beliefs.
This is something of an issue in our marriage, and I'll admit that it's a little unfair to DH. After all, I was a purported Christian when we married. I had been raised in a fundamentalist church before my parents' divorce, and in the Baptist church after. And I grew up in a very conservative, smallish town where not being Christian was not an option. Everybody went to church.
So it wasn't until I went off to college (ironically, a Baptist school) that I began to question, and be turned off by, religion. I couldn't understand why any religion demanded intolerance of others--or why one group could be so certain that it was right and everyone else was wrong.
And this was my state of mind when DH and I married. Not an atheist, slightly agnostic, mostly fed-up with organized religion. And so I attended Catholic church with his devout family, and agreed to be married in the Catholic church because it was important to them and it was not to me.
My fundamentalist relatives thought I was going to Hell for marrying a Catholic, and DH's family assumed that I would eventually convert--especially since my mother had recently converted when she married hubby #3.
We attended the Catholic church together in the early part of our marriage, and had all of our kids baptized in the Catholic church. Even before my atheistic conversion, I thought it completely unnecessary to baptize children, but I did it because it was important to my husband's family and it wasn't a point worth arguing about.
By the time the twins came along, I was pretty much agnostic and going to church with three young children was a lot of trouble (no nursery), so we rarely attended. And sometime thereafter I admitted to myself, and to DH, that I simply didn't believe--and I couldn't make myself believe.
DH does not share my disbelief--and he worries about it. I am a closet atheist. Very few friends and relatives know that I am an atheist. This is partly because my MIL would have been genuinely worried about me--and she didn't need another burden, especially in the last years of her lift. My fundamentalist grandparents would also worry--although that concerns me less, since they already think I am going to Hell.
It is also not socially appropriate to be an atheist in this part of the world. Everyone just assumes you are Christian (unless you are obviously Jewish), and atheists are presumed to be outspoken God-haters who want to destroy Christianity.
For the record, I don't hate God, and I think Christianity is a great moral guidance system. I respect everyone's right to believe--or not--they way that they want. I would just like the same respect extended to my disbelief.
Anyway, one of MIL's deathbed requests was that our children have a religious education. She was clearly bothered that we had not been taking them to church. So DH has been taking them since her death. I feel a bit of guilt for not going--church does seem to be a family kind of thing--but every time I go, I feel like a poser. I don't believe in the songs they are singing or the message the pastor is delivering. And so they go, and I do not.
They kids know my position and their dad's position. They can make the decision about their own beliefs when the time is right for them. But, as DH pointed out, from a cultural standpoint, it is good for them to go to church and learn the bible stories and common biblical references that we all know. (Although, TT has read a 2" think illustrated children's Bible from cover to cover of her own volition, so she's self-educating.)
It's not ideal, but DH and I have mostly come to terms with our different beliefs.
7/29/10
Dinnertime Silliness
A couple of weeks ago everyone was a little grumpy at dinner, so I declared it British Accent Night. Everyone had to speak in a British accent for the rest of the meal. Anyone who broke character was passed the "naughty card," and the person left holding the naughty card at the end of the meal got clean-up duty.
British Accent Night was a huge hit, and we have since had Pirate Night (Arrr!), Yoda Night (hard it is to converse like Yoda) and Hillbilly night (the kids love the gratuitous use of" ain't" and double negatives). We're planning Robot Night, Pig Latin Night and various other accents for the future.
We've learned that SS can not only nail a British accent, but she also perfectly mimics the mannerisms that one would expect from a proper Brit. I swear, that child was born to be a princess. PS does the best Hillbilly imitation--not sure what that says about her!
Our crazy accents have us all cracking up and have turned out to be a great way to end a stressful day.
British Accent Night was a huge hit, and we have since had Pirate Night (Arrr!), Yoda Night (hard it is to converse like Yoda) and Hillbilly night (the kids love the gratuitous use of" ain't" and double negatives). We're planning Robot Night, Pig Latin Night and various other accents for the future.
We've learned that SS can not only nail a British accent, but she also perfectly mimics the mannerisms that one would expect from a proper Brit. I swear, that child was born to be a princess. PS does the best Hillbilly imitation--not sure what that says about her!
Our crazy accents have us all cracking up and have turned out to be a great way to end a stressful day.
7/27/10
Good News
Saw my GP yesterday. She took more blood than Edward on a full moon. Got the lab results back today and everything is normal. Thyroid normal, calcium normal, vitamin D normal, everything completely normal. Well, except for two broken feet. That's not so normal.
Doc suspects that I nailed the cause as being my extreme pregnancies and the steroids I took while pg with the twins, combined with bad genetics. But she wants me to see an endocrinologist (who knew endocrinologists were the docs who treat osteo?) because the bilateral fractures are so bizarre. Apparently there is a more sophisticated test that can be done to measure whether my bone loss is active, but it will be up to the endo whether to take that step now or try supplementation and exercise and recheck my bone density in a year.
But at least it sounds like there is nothing else crazy going on with my body.
In other good news, Big Boss put me on two big projects Friday. He said that they would require some "heavy lifting" and specifically wanted my analytical abilities on these cases. Then I earned extra brownie points by drafting a letter on Friday that I knew our clients would want by the end of a conference call on Monday. I was concerned that we would be on a tight schedule on Monday, and didn't want to be scrambling. As it turned out, I was absolutely right. And Big Boss was thrilled that I had taken the initiative to have the letter ready before the conference call. (I guarantee that none of the guys in my office, who thrive on procrastination, would have had the foresight to do something before it had to be done.) Woot!
In sleazy opposing counsel news, today OC tried to sneak the name of a mediator into an agreed scheduling order. No notice to me, no "what do you think about this guy?," just added the name of a mediator, apparently thinking that either 1) I won't notice; or 2) I'm just a dumb girl who won't do anything about it. This guy is in his 70's and was a bit condescending in our one phone conversation. And the mediator he unilaterally selected was also in his 70's. I do not need a couple of old golfing buddies who may have had a single female in their law school classes deciding my case. Yeah, not happening.
Oh, and his email addressed me as Mr. LC. I have a total bimbo cheerleader first name. There is no way in heck I could be confused with a man.
Doc suspects that I nailed the cause as being my extreme pregnancies and the steroids I took while pg with the twins, combined with bad genetics. But she wants me to see an endocrinologist (who knew endocrinologists were the docs who treat osteo?) because the bilateral fractures are so bizarre. Apparently there is a more sophisticated test that can be done to measure whether my bone loss is active, but it will be up to the endo whether to take that step now or try supplementation and exercise and recheck my bone density in a year.
But at least it sounds like there is nothing else crazy going on with my body.
In other good news, Big Boss put me on two big projects Friday. He said that they would require some "heavy lifting" and specifically wanted my analytical abilities on these cases. Then I earned extra brownie points by drafting a letter on Friday that I knew our clients would want by the end of a conference call on Monday. I was concerned that we would be on a tight schedule on Monday, and didn't want to be scrambling. As it turned out, I was absolutely right. And Big Boss was thrilled that I had taken the initiative to have the letter ready before the conference call. (I guarantee that none of the guys in my office, who thrive on procrastination, would have had the foresight to do something before it had to be done.) Woot!
In sleazy opposing counsel news, today OC tried to sneak the name of a mediator into an agreed scheduling order. No notice to me, no "what do you think about this guy?," just added the name of a mediator, apparently thinking that either 1) I won't notice; or 2) I'm just a dumb girl who won't do anything about it. This guy is in his 70's and was a bit condescending in our one phone conversation. And the mediator he unilaterally selected was also in his 70's. I do not need a couple of old golfing buddies who may have had a single female in their law school classes deciding my case. Yeah, not happening.
Oh, and his email addressed me as Mr. LC. I have a total bimbo cheerleader first name. There is no way in heck I could be confused with a man.
7/23/10
May I whine?
I'm cranky. The twins birthday is tomorrow. Weeks ago we promised to take them to the amusement park for their birthday. And then sometime last week it dawned on me that it would be quite a challenge to go to the amusement park with my giant robot boots. And I'm not really fit for being on my feet all day right now. So DH and the kids are going without me. And it sucks.
I'm so tired of the f'ing robot boots. They're hot. They're bulky. Every metal filing cabinet in my office now has a big dent at the bottom where I've accidentally kicked it. I feel dumpy and frumpy. I only have like four pairs of pants that fit over the stupid things--which may be a good thing because the velcro on the boots is pulling the hems out of my pants. And I don't like not being able to do stuff with my kids.
And to add to my little pity party, the results of my bone density scan show that I have osteoporosis. I don't have much more info--my ortho referred me back to my GP and I see her on Monday. But my internet research says that it is uncommon for premenopausal women to get osteoporosis and most of the drugs available have only been tested and for postmenopausal women.
Also there is usually a secondary cause of osteo in premenopausal women--so who the hell knows what else might be wrong with me. I'm hoping it is just a result of three very difficult pregnancies where I had severe hypermesis. With my twins I had hyperemesis-induced malnutrition so severe that my doctor told me I was starving to death. And then they put me on massive doses of steroids. And then I breastfed three children. And all of these things are bad on the bones.
I know that there are worse diagnoses--at least I'm not dying of anything. But it is a quality of life issue, and I've seen the effects first hand. I'm just glad I had my kids while I was young, so maybe they'll be grown before I completely fall apart.
I'm so tired of the f'ing robot boots. They're hot. They're bulky. Every metal filing cabinet in my office now has a big dent at the bottom where I've accidentally kicked it. I feel dumpy and frumpy. I only have like four pairs of pants that fit over the stupid things--which may be a good thing because the velcro on the boots is pulling the hems out of my pants. And I don't like not being able to do stuff with my kids.
And to add to my little pity party, the results of my bone density scan show that I have osteoporosis. I don't have much more info--my ortho referred me back to my GP and I see her on Monday. But my internet research says that it is uncommon for premenopausal women to get osteoporosis and most of the drugs available have only been tested and for postmenopausal women.
Also there is usually a secondary cause of osteo in premenopausal women--so who the hell knows what else might be wrong with me. I'm hoping it is just a result of three very difficult pregnancies where I had severe hypermesis. With my twins I had hyperemesis-induced malnutrition so severe that my doctor told me I was starving to death. And then they put me on massive doses of steroids. And then I breastfed three children. And all of these things are bad on the bones.
I know that there are worse diagnoses--at least I'm not dying of anything. But it is a quality of life issue, and I've seen the effects first hand. I'm just glad I had my kids while I was young, so maybe they'll be grown before I completely fall apart.
7/22/10
Law Firm Drama
Our receptionist called in this morning because her pet donkey died rather tragically last night.
Then Queen Bitch Secretary showed up and said, "well, my dog died last night and I'll still here."
Apparently yesterday was not kind to the animal world. Do pets die in threes like celebrities? Maybe I better keep an eye on Bob.
Then Queen Bitch Secretary showed up and said, "well, my dog died last night and I'll still here."
Apparently yesterday was not kind to the animal world. Do pets die in threes like celebrities? Maybe I better keep an eye on Bob.
7/15/10
Conversation with my daughter
Yesterday PS texted me while I was at work:
PS: "Whatcha doin?"
Me: "Modifying an indemnity agreement."
PS: "In terms I understand."
Me: " I don't think I can put it in terms you understand via text."
PS: "How about annotating an important but boring paper?"
Me: "LOL! That's pretty accurate."
I'm not a big texting, but I do think it is good for my relationship with PS. We check in on each other during the day, and have conversations we wouldn't otherwise have. Sometimes she talks about stuff that I don't think she'd bring up face to face. I'm glad that one of the side benefits of my kids' technologically advanced generation is helping to keep them connected to mom.
PS: "Whatcha doin?"
Me: "Modifying an indemnity agreement."
PS: "In terms I understand."
Me: " I don't think I can put it in terms you understand via text."
PS: "How about annotating an important but boring paper?"
Me: "LOL! That's pretty accurate."
I'm not a big texting, but I do think it is good for my relationship with PS. We check in on each other during the day, and have conversations we wouldn't otherwise have. Sometimes she talks about stuff that I don't think she'd bring up face to face. I'm glad that one of the side benefits of my kids' technologically advanced generation is helping to keep them connected to mom.
7/14/10
Oh Internet, how I've missed you
I have been offline for the past five days. Why? Because AT&T sucks. A couple of weeks ago we ditched our landline and had our home phone number transferred to a cell. That meant that something had to happen with our DSL to switch it from regular DSL to naked DSL. But AT&T screwed up somewhere along the way and turned our DSL off last Friday with no notice whatsoever. Despite many hours on the phone with an irate DH, AT&T swore they couldn't get it on before Wednesday. Whatever--there's always a way. AT&T exhibited just about the most abominable customer service I have ever encountered, but I guess they can get away with it because they have no competition for DSL in this area. I would have ditched them, but DH is attached to his email addy.
In other news:
In other news:
- FIL is now married and sent us a text when the deed was done.
- I spent all weekend interviewing and have a new nanny in place. She is way over-qualified--recently laid off. I really like her--I just hope she doesn't ditch us when the economy picks up (couldn't blame her, though.) But at 26, she is already a cancer survivor, and that alone made me want to give her a chance.
- My ankles are still broken and I am stuck in my stupid robot boots for another month. They actually feel about a million times better, so I was really hoping to lose the boots when I went back to the doctor this week.
- I'm having a bone density scan tomorrow to check things out since it is rather uncommon for a 35-year old who is not training for a marathon to fracture both ankles just by running.
7/8/10
It's Coming Like a Freight Train
FIL informed us all this evening via email that he will be getting married out-of-state this weekend, like it or not. He said that he didn't want to meet with us all in person because he didn't want to be ganged up on.
Earlier this week (before the wedding date was announced), SIL sent him a very nicely-worded, non-confrontational email (the complete opposite of what I would be capable of) explaining that we all felt he was moving very quickly and that we did not understand the rush.
FIL's response was basically "we're going to do what we want to do and you all are just going to have to deal with it."
Earlier this week (before the wedding date was announced), SIL sent him a very nicely-worded, non-confrontational email (the complete opposite of what I would be capable of) explaining that we all felt he was moving very quickly and that we did not understand the rush.
FIL's response was basically "we're going to do what we want to do and you all are just going to have to deal with it."
Firing People Sucks
Today I had to fire my nanny. Yesterday she left my 8 year old twins home alone, and chaos ensued.
It had to be done but I didn't like doing it, and I have been in a funk all day. And now I am scrambling to set up interviews this weekend so that I can hopefully have a new caregiver in place next week. I hate interviewing--and then calling the ones who didn't get the job. Blech.
I totally needed more drama in my life right now.
It had to be done but I didn't like doing it, and I have been in a funk all day. And now I am scrambling to set up interviews this weekend so that I can hopefully have a new caregiver in place next week. I hate interviewing--and then calling the ones who didn't get the job. Blech.
I totally needed more drama in my life right now.
7/5/10
The Good, The Bad, & The Awkward
We survived the weekend with FIL and the fiancee. It was awkward, as expected. SIL and family ended up staying with her in-laws, who also live in this area, instead of with us, so we were on our own with entertaining on Saturday. I was civil, but definitely not reeking with southern hospitality.
FIL kept saying, "well, [SIL] is always so busy that I hardly ever see her, and I never hear a word out of [BIL]." Yeah, because they both tried to tell you how they felt about the whole situation and you completely blew them off. Now they don't even feel comfortable stopping by your house anymore. Get your head out of your ass--you're alienating your children and grandchildren.
I don't know what to say. No alarm bells went off, and I detected no ulterior motives, but I simply don't understand the attraction. She is the polar opposite of my ultra-conservative, traditional MIL. Replacement Judy* is a crunchy-granola hippie chick who dresses in purple and rainbows and dangley peace-sign earrings. She has been single for the last 25 years, after a short marriage ended in divorce. She is much more traveled than FIL who has always been happiest in his own backyard.
So while I get that FIL may be grasping at whatever (or whoever) comes along to avoid the grim realities of single-life, I absolutely cannot figure out why Replacement Judy is interested in FIL. Nor can I understand why she thinks its a good idea to go flying into a relationship with someone whose wife has been dead all of 3 months.
On Sunday, SIL's inlaws invited us all for a cookout and swimming before we all attended a baseball game together. FIL and Replacement Judy spent the entire day indoors ("it's too hot"), completely disengaged from their grandchildren who were swimming outdoors. The ball game went about as well. (OMG, I was going to lose my mind if I heard how hot it was one more time. Yes, it's July in [state where it is notoriously hotter than hell in July]--get over it.)
The good is that we had a great time visiting with SIL and her family and the kids loved playing with their cousins and at the baseball game.
They left early this morning, before the girls and I were even out of bed. DH heard them packing up and got up to say goodbye. Which is when FIL informed him that they would be getting married soon and they would not be dealing with the the church-required hoops right now. DH told his dad that he seemed to be rushing things, and FIL's response was "life is short." Then FIL asked if we wanted to participate in the wedding or just get a phone call when it was done.
Um no, we do not want to participate in a wedding, SIL and I had discussed the day before how we weren't sure we could survive a full-on wedding without getting emotional.
SIL also told me that FIL dropped off all of MIL's clothing with SIL#2 a couple of weeks ago and told her to deal with it. The following weekend, SIL was at FIL's house to get the mail while he was out of town. MIL's side of the closet is now filled with purple hippie-chick clothes and there is a purple alarm clock sitting on the nightstand opposite FIL's nightstand. Obviously they have moved in together, but FIL never bothered to mention that little detail.
The whole situation it nauseating. We will be returning to Hometown in a month for SIL's college graduation. We always stay with my inlaws, but there is no way in heck we can stay there now. Guess we'll be getting a hotel. That may bother FIL, but I really don't give a damn, since he obviously doesn't consider anybody else's feelings before he acts. (I just can't believe he put all of MIL's clothing in trashbags and dropped it off with SIL, instead of letting them go and sort through it all.)
Ugh, Ugh, Ugh!
*Have I mentioned that she has the same name as my MIL, "Judy"? Yes, because we needed more awkwardness. So fiancee is referred to as Replacement Judy.
FIL kept saying, "well, [SIL] is always so busy that I hardly ever see her, and I never hear a word out of [BIL]." Yeah, because they both tried to tell you how they felt about the whole situation and you completely blew them off. Now they don't even feel comfortable stopping by your house anymore. Get your head out of your ass--you're alienating your children and grandchildren.
I don't know what to say. No alarm bells went off, and I detected no ulterior motives, but I simply don't understand the attraction. She is the polar opposite of my ultra-conservative, traditional MIL. Replacement Judy* is a crunchy-granola hippie chick who dresses in purple and rainbows and dangley peace-sign earrings. She has been single for the last 25 years, after a short marriage ended in divorce. She is much more traveled than FIL who has always been happiest in his own backyard.
So while I get that FIL may be grasping at whatever (or whoever) comes along to avoid the grim realities of single-life, I absolutely cannot figure out why Replacement Judy is interested in FIL. Nor can I understand why she thinks its a good idea to go flying into a relationship with someone whose wife has been dead all of 3 months.
On Sunday, SIL's inlaws invited us all for a cookout and swimming before we all attended a baseball game together. FIL and Replacement Judy spent the entire day indoors ("it's too hot"), completely disengaged from their grandchildren who were swimming outdoors. The ball game went about as well. (OMG, I was going to lose my mind if I heard how hot it was one more time. Yes, it's July in [state where it is notoriously hotter than hell in July]--get over it.)
The good is that we had a great time visiting with SIL and her family and the kids loved playing with their cousins and at the baseball game.
They left early this morning, before the girls and I were even out of bed. DH heard them packing up and got up to say goodbye. Which is when FIL informed him that they would be getting married soon and they would not be dealing with the the church-required hoops right now. DH told his dad that he seemed to be rushing things, and FIL's response was "life is short." Then FIL asked if we wanted to participate in the wedding or just get a phone call when it was done.
Um no, we do not want to participate in a wedding, SIL and I had discussed the day before how we weren't sure we could survive a full-on wedding without getting emotional.
SIL also told me that FIL dropped off all of MIL's clothing with SIL#2 a couple of weeks ago and told her to deal with it. The following weekend, SIL was at FIL's house to get the mail while he was out of town. MIL's side of the closet is now filled with purple hippie-chick clothes and there is a purple alarm clock sitting on the nightstand opposite FIL's nightstand. Obviously they have moved in together, but FIL never bothered to mention that little detail.
The whole situation it nauseating. We will be returning to Hometown in a month for SIL's college graduation. We always stay with my inlaws, but there is no way in heck we can stay there now. Guess we'll be getting a hotel. That may bother FIL, but I really don't give a damn, since he obviously doesn't consider anybody else's feelings before he acts. (I just can't believe he put all of MIL's clothing in trashbags and dropped it off with SIL, instead of letting them go and sort through it all.)
Ugh, Ugh, Ugh!
*Have I mentioned that she has the same name as my MIL, "Judy"? Yes, because we needed more awkwardness. So fiancee is referred to as Replacement Judy.
7/1/10
Booked our first cruise today--yay!
We will be traveling kid-free to celebrate our 15th anniversary this year. Our anniversary is in December, but we are cruising in November because we don't want to abandon the kids over the holidays and it is just too darn expensive then. We're doing a 7-day cruise to Belize, Roatan and Cozumel. I'm so excited! I can spend hours just looking at pictures on Flikr. All of those places look so beautiful and peaceful. (Then again, so does Jamaica, and there have been deadly uprisings there in recent weeks.)
We did go for the balcony (for those who responded to my inquiry several weeks ago). It wasn't too much more, and seemed worth the splurge since it is a rare trip with just the two of us. I am envisioning lots of time on it catching up on my reading, and maybe ordering room service for breakfast on the balcony. Crowds by the pool do not appeal to me.
Now I just have to figure out what to do on the shore excursions. Mayan ruins, shopping, sitting on the beach, ziplining, snorkeling, swimming with dolphins, parasailing? My problem is that I want to do it all. And on most vacations I try to cram it all in, which just leaves me needing a vacation from my vacation. I am really going to try to actually relax this time around. Really.
We did go for the balcony (for those who responded to my inquiry several weeks ago). It wasn't too much more, and seemed worth the splurge since it is a rare trip with just the two of us. I am envisioning lots of time on it catching up on my reading, and maybe ordering room service for breakfast on the balcony. Crowds by the pool do not appeal to me.
Now I just have to figure out what to do on the shore excursions. Mayan ruins, shopping, sitting on the beach, ziplining, snorkeling, swimming with dolphins, parasailing? My problem is that I want to do it all. And on most vacations I try to cram it all in, which just leaves me needing a vacation from my vacation. I am really going to try to actually relax this time around. Really.
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