May I whine?

I'm cranky. The twins birthday is tomorrow. Weeks ago we promised to take them to the amusement park for their birthday. And then sometime last week it dawned on me that it would be quite a challenge to go to the amusement park with my giant robot boots. And I'm not really fit for being on my feet all day right now. So DH and the kids are going without me. And it sucks.

I'm so tired of the f'ing robot boots. They're hot. They're bulky. Every metal filing cabinet in my office now has a big dent at the bottom where I've accidentally kicked it. I feel dumpy and frumpy. I only have like four pairs of pants that fit over the stupid things--which may be a good thing because the velcro on the boots is pulling the hems out of my pants. And I don't like not being able to do stuff with my kids.

And to add to my little pity party, the results of my bone density scan show that I have osteoporosis. I don't have much more info--my ortho referred me back to my GP and I see her on Monday. But my internet research says that it is uncommon for premenopausal women to get osteoporosis and most of the drugs available have only been tested and for postmenopausal women.

Also there is usually a secondary cause of osteo in premenopausal women--so who the hell knows what else might be wrong with me. I'm hoping it is just a result of three very difficult pregnancies where I had severe hypermesis. With my twins I had hyperemesis-induced malnutrition so severe that my doctor told me I was starving to death. And then they put me on massive doses of steroids. And then I breastfed three children. And all of these things are bad on the bones.

I know that there are worse diagnoses--at least I'm not dying of anything. But it is a quality of life issue, and I've seen the effects first hand. I'm just glad I had my kids while I was young, so maybe they'll be grown before I completely fall apart.