This morning a very sad TT came downstairs to tell us that the Tooth Fairy did not come last night. She still had her tooth and she didn't have any money. Oops. DH and I both completely forgot. She lost the tooth while at PS's robotics competition yesterday afternoon, so there was a lot going on, and she didn't say much more about it the rest of the day. But still, parent fail.
And my kids are too old and too smart to believe in the Tooth Fairy. I told TT this morning that maybe the Tooth Fairy hid the money in her room and she needed to clean her room to find her money. She replied that I was just trying to trick her into cleaning her room.
I am 100% sure that they do not actually believe in the Tooth Fairy. But we still pretend that they do. TT was bummed this morning, and I really just wanted to hand over a dollar and tell her to move on. But I didn't--instead I made up excuses for the Tooth Fairy. I'm not sure why. I guess because I felt like we sold out Santa too early with PS. When she was about 7 she asked point blank about Santa. I didn't want to lie to her, so I told her. I really wish I had fibbed and let her hold onto the Santa magic a little bit longer.
I have no intention about coming clean about Santa to the twins. (Yeah, I know they've figured him out, too--but Santa make Christmas fun, and he brings gifts that mom would never buy.). But the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny--I would be ok if they would hop on along their merry way.
10/9/11
10/7/11
Sickie McSickerson
So the school called yesterday to inform me that TT had vomited and that I needed to retrieve her. The nurse said that there was a virus going around ad it looked like TT had it. She looked terrible when I picked her up, but there was no more vomiting and she perked up within a couple of hours. But the rule is that you can't return to school for 24 hours after you barf, so despite the fact that TT is exhibiting no evidence of yesterday's ailment, we are home again today.
And SS awoke complaining of a headache and a stomachache. She wasn't acting very sick, but I erred on the side of not exposing anyone else to the alleged virus and allowed her to stay home, too.
Now they are both acting perfectly fine and making demands under the guise of being sick. "Mommy, will you make me pancakes?" "Mommy, will you bring me a glass of water." "Mommy, will you turn the light on?" "Mommy, can you find the remote?" And I am accommodating them and appreciating this bit of stolen time with my girlies.
But I am going to make them do their homework in a little bit.
And SS awoke complaining of a headache and a stomachache. She wasn't acting very sick, but I erred on the side of not exposing anyone else to the alleged virus and allowed her to stay home, too.
Now they are both acting perfectly fine and making demands under the guise of being sick. "Mommy, will you make me pancakes?" "Mommy, will you bring me a glass of water." "Mommy, will you turn the light on?" "Mommy, can you find the remote?" And I am accommodating them and appreciating this bit of stolen time with my girlies.
But I am going to make them do their homework in a little bit.
10/6/11
Listamania: Things I love about fall
I'm trying something new and different--a weekly post called Listamania. It will be a list (duh) based on whatever topic pops into my head.
1) Cooler weather
2) Carving Pumpkins
3) Roasting pumpkin seeds
4) Thanksgiving--the best holiday!
5) Wearing sweaters and boots
6) Football (but only my teams and preferably live)
7) Cooking big pots of soup, pot roasts and chicken pot pie (I am very seasonal with food and don't eat any of these things when it's hot outside)
8) Snuggling under the covers during cool fall nights
9) Honeycrisp apples
1) Cooler weather
2) Carving Pumpkins
3) Roasting pumpkin seeds
4) Thanksgiving--the best holiday!
5) Wearing sweaters and boots
6) Football (but only my teams and preferably live)
7) Cooking big pots of soup, pot roasts and chicken pot pie (I am very seasonal with food and don't eat any of these things when it's hot outside)
8) Snuggling under the covers during cool fall nights
9) Honeycrisp apples
10/4/11
Listamania: Things I want
In no particular order and with no deep, meaningful issues (like world peace) considered:
1) A custom header for my blog.
2) This skirt. Oh yes, in pink.
3) A tummy tuck. I've given birth to twins--enough said.
4) Less chaos in my life.
5) My job, but where I get home in time to pick my girls up from school and cook dinner. And where I have time to take all the vacations I want. But I don't want to be a mommy-tracker or a part-timer.
6) Magical cleaning fairies. I'm trying to hire a housekeeper, but so far the hunt isn't going very well.
7) For all of my student loans to be paid off.
8) The new iphone--kinda. I need a new phone, but I'm waiting to see the consensus on the 4S before ordering.
9) To lose 20 (cough30cough) pounds.
10) A shorter commute. 25 miles of city traffic each way sucks--but I have no choice if I want affordable housing and good schools. But I swear, when my kids grow up I'm going to live in a loft in the city.
1) A custom header for my blog.
2) This skirt. Oh yes, in pink.
3) A tummy tuck. I've given birth to twins--enough said.
4) Less chaos in my life.
5) My job, but where I get home in time to pick my girls up from school and cook dinner. And where I have time to take all the vacations I want. But I don't want to be a mommy-tracker or a part-timer.
6) Magical cleaning fairies. I'm trying to hire a housekeeper, but so far the hunt isn't going very well.
7) For all of my student loans to be paid off.
8) The new iphone--kinda. I need a new phone, but I'm waiting to see the consensus on the 4S before ordering.
9) To lose 20 (cough30cough) pounds.
10) A shorter commute. 25 miles of city traffic each way sucks--but I have no choice if I want affordable housing and good schools. But I swear, when my kids grow up I'm going to live in a loft in the city.
10/3/11
Zombies
At PS's request we visited the temporary Halloween shop that recently opened. We visited when we were shopping for PS's part, but it had just opened and wasn't really set up yet. On this visit, they were all ready for Halloween. The store was fully stocked and there were creepy scenes set up everywhere. The centerpiece was a merry-go-round filled with zombie babies. At the back of the store were plenty of full-size zombies that moved and made noise and lit up. And then there was a half-body being eaten by a giant rat with accompanying sounds and movement. Yeah, it was disgusting.
But it was all pretend in a well-lit store full of people in the middle of the day. So we laughed at the zombies and moved along.
And then last night TT came into our room twice because she couldn't sleep. She can't stop thinking about the zombies. And tonight she has been out of bed three times and is currently in my bed. Oh boy.
TT is our most sensitive kid. The movie Coraline also gave her nightmares (one of PS's favorites!), so we are careful about what she is allowed to watch. And she frequently had night terrors when she was very young. But I did not realize that visiting the Halloween store was going to freak her out. I was more worried about her seeing the giant penis costume than the zombies.
Not sure how to fix this one.
But it was all pretend in a well-lit store full of people in the middle of the day. So we laughed at the zombies and moved along.
And then last night TT came into our room twice because she couldn't sleep. She can't stop thinking about the zombies. And tonight she has been out of bed three times and is currently in my bed. Oh boy.
TT is our most sensitive kid. The movie Coraline also gave her nightmares (one of PS's favorites!), so we are careful about what she is allowed to watch. And she frequently had night terrors when she was very young. But I did not realize that visiting the Halloween store was going to freak her out. I was more worried about her seeing the giant penis costume than the zombies.
Not sure how to fix this one.
10/2/11
Fatness
I seem to be getting fatter. I am not happy about this. Last winter I started gaining weight when I was exceptionally busy at work. I was working lots of late nights, and eating crappy fast food on the way home from work. After gaining 10 pounds, I brought those bad habits to a screeching halt. I did nutrisystem for about 6 weeks, lost the weight I had gained, and reformed my eating habits.
I pretty much gave up soft drinks--down from a daily habit to maybe once a week. I drink water or iced tea. I pretty much gave up french fries. They are now an occasional treat (although I met DH for lunch on Friday at a place that has fries drizzled with olive oil and rosemary, O.M.G!) I no longer eat fast food at 9:00 at night--I keep food at work for late nights or I wait until I get home. My freezer is stocked with food, so that our eating out in general is greatly reduced. I make sure I have protein for breakfast, which makes me feel fuller so I don't eat bad carby crap. I take fruit to work every day for a mid-afternoon snack instead of relying on the carby crap that is stocked in our kitchen.
And yet, I am getting fatter again. WTF? So much for small lifestyle changes making a difference. I guess I need to start keeping a food diary, but it is so much work. Grumble.
I pretty much gave up soft drinks--down from a daily habit to maybe once a week. I drink water or iced tea. I pretty much gave up french fries. They are now an occasional treat (although I met DH for lunch on Friday at a place that has fries drizzled with olive oil and rosemary, O.M.G!) I no longer eat fast food at 9:00 at night--I keep food at work for late nights or I wait until I get home. My freezer is stocked with food, so that our eating out in general is greatly reduced. I make sure I have protein for breakfast, which makes me feel fuller so I don't eat bad carby crap. I take fruit to work every day for a mid-afternoon snack instead of relying on the carby crap that is stocked in our kitchen.
And yet, I am getting fatter again. WTF? So much for small lifestyle changes making a difference. I guess I need to start keeping a food diary, but it is so much work. Grumble.
9/28/11
I Am the Queen of Cool
DH went for a run tonight and I went along on his bike. It was dark when we left (because it was 99 here today). Of course I can cover a lot more ground on a bike than he can on foot, so every once in a while I would loop around a block and then catch back up with him.
So he was running down a long road, and I did a loop and then did not see him when I came back to the road. Finally I caught a glimpse of his iPod bouncing along a couple hundred feet away. He had turned at the end of the road and was headed back toward me. So I looped around behind him and caught up even to him while he puffed along. I was kind of surprised he didn't say anything, and I sustained my trash talking (ahem, personal training) because there were a couple of walkers just a few feet away. So I just kept pace with him for a couple of minutes, moving so slowly on the bike I was barely staying upright.
Then he looked over at me. And I realized that the guy in the white shirt and black shorts with an iPod in an armband was not my husband. Oh crap! I took off pedaling as fast as I could without saying a word! I was mortified, and the poor guy probably thinks I'm some crazy stalker-biker lady.
And then I could not find my real DH after that. I rolled around the neighborhood for a while (praying I didn't run into the DH doppelganger again) eventually just headed home so I could call DH and explain why I abandoned him.
So he was running down a long road, and I did a loop and then did not see him when I came back to the road. Finally I caught a glimpse of his iPod bouncing along a couple hundred feet away. He had turned at the end of the road and was headed back toward me. So I looped around behind him and caught up even to him while he puffed along. I was kind of surprised he didn't say anything, and I sustained my trash talking (ahem, personal training) because there were a couple of walkers just a few feet away. So I just kept pace with him for a couple of minutes, moving so slowly on the bike I was barely staying upright.
Then he looked over at me. And I realized that the guy in the white shirt and black shorts with an iPod in an armband was not my husband. Oh crap! I took off pedaling as fast as I could without saying a word! I was mortified, and the poor guy probably thinks I'm some crazy stalker-biker lady.
And then I could not find my real DH after that. I rolled around the neighborhood for a while (praying I didn't run into the DH doppelganger again) eventually just headed home so I could call DH and explain why I abandoned him.
9/26/11
Teenagers
I'm having trouble believing that I am now the mom of a teenager. I don't feel old enough to have a teenager.
As much as I would like to get away from the birthday parties, the benefit is that it gives me the opportunity to spend some time with the kids' friends. I really like the group of friends that she has developed over the last couple of years. There were only a couple of carry-overs from elementary school--most were newly found when she started middle school last year.And there were definitely a couple from elementary school that I wasn't sad to see drift away. But the girls she hangs out with now all seem like genuinely good kids (and I guess they are, every single one of them was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society along with PS tonight). There was no drama or over-the-top craziness at her party. Everyone got along and seemed to have a really good time.
But even among her friends, PS is different. They are all still giggly girls who squeal and hug and play with each other's hair and smush together like puppies on the sofa. That is so not PS. No squealing, no smushing, definitely no hair touching (last year, when she was in cheer, she often complained, "Mom, the cheerleaders keep trying to fix my hair.") She is physically smaller than the rest of them--several inches shorter than most. And they have all started developing while she is not. At all. She doesn't wear make-up or flat iron her hair like the rest. (Is all this because I let her skip a grade and she is the youngest? Maybe. But I think she would still be among the smallest. And I had no hint of boobs until I turned 16.) But she seems to be doing ok socially, even if she is the most restrained and self-conscious in her group. And I am a-ok with her looking younger if it keeps the boy issues at bay for a while. (Although we did have a boy at the party! Just one--a friend of the entire group. Definitely no romance issues that I could detect.)
But boy, when I see other kids her age, I start to freak out a little. At the NJHS induction tonight, several of her classmates looked and dressed like college students. A few had on skin-tight skirts that barely covered their naughty bits and left me wondering what on earth their mothers were thinking. Several more were wearing heels (that they did not know how to walk in.) They just all looked to grown up. And then there was tiny PS.
It will be interesting to see how she changes over the next couple of years. Will she always be one of those girls who's just not into hair and makeup--or will she grown into it? And how different will her sisters be? They are definitely more the huggy, squealy, puppy piling types.
As much as I would like to get away from the birthday parties, the benefit is that it gives me the opportunity to spend some time with the kids' friends. I really like the group of friends that she has developed over the last couple of years. There were only a couple of carry-overs from elementary school--most were newly found when she started middle school last year.And there were definitely a couple from elementary school that I wasn't sad to see drift away. But the girls she hangs out with now all seem like genuinely good kids (and I guess they are, every single one of them was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society along with PS tonight). There was no drama or over-the-top craziness at her party. Everyone got along and seemed to have a really good time.
But even among her friends, PS is different. They are all still giggly girls who squeal and hug and play with each other's hair and smush together like puppies on the sofa. That is so not PS. No squealing, no smushing, definitely no hair touching (last year, when she was in cheer, she often complained, "Mom, the cheerleaders keep trying to fix my hair.") She is physically smaller than the rest of them--several inches shorter than most. And they have all started developing while she is not. At all. She doesn't wear make-up or flat iron her hair like the rest. (Is all this because I let her skip a grade and she is the youngest? Maybe. But I think she would still be among the smallest. And I had no hint of boobs until I turned 16.) But she seems to be doing ok socially, even if she is the most restrained and self-conscious in her group. And I am a-ok with her looking younger if it keeps the boy issues at bay for a while. (Although we did have a boy at the party! Just one--a friend of the entire group. Definitely no romance issues that I could detect.)
But boy, when I see other kids her age, I start to freak out a little. At the NJHS induction tonight, several of her classmates looked and dressed like college students. A few had on skin-tight skirts that barely covered their naughty bits and left me wondering what on earth their mothers were thinking. Several more were wearing heels (that they did not know how to walk in.) They just all looked to grown up. And then there was tiny PS.
It will be interesting to see how she changes over the next couple of years. Will she always be one of those girls who's just not into hair and makeup--or will she grown into it? And how different will her sisters be? They are definitely more the huggy, squealy, puppy piling types.
9/25/11
Today I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything...
This was an exceptionally busy week. I had a hearing on Tuesday and a mediation of Friday (my first solo!) and in between my bosses were demanding deadlines on new projects by the end of the week--which made for some very late nights for me. Everyone in the office was swamped and the Big Bosses were becoming visibly agitated at having to compete with one another for assistance with their matters.
On Tuesday the moved my mother, which was definitely a positive thing, but I had to work in a couple of trips to bring her new things that she needed, which added to the chaos.
And then there was PS's birthday and the party. Lesson learned: never try to plan a murder mystery party in two weeks. Especially when you have an unpredictable job that could explode at any moment. I had gone shopping the weekend before, but I had to do pretty much everything else on Friday night and Saturday morning. It was A LOT of work.
I had originally planned to try to make a cake, or, more specifically cake pops, in a shore fit of lunacy in which I forgot that I am completely incapable of decorating anything. My test batch of cake pops last weekend were too wet so they wouldn't stay on the stick and looked like delicious little balls of bird gak.
By Friday it was crystal clear that there was no way in heck I was going to be baking anything, and I had resigned myself to picking up a cake from Costco. But then a friend called and I was venting about how much I had to do and she said, "I can help! Just let me know what you need. I can come over, I can do food, I can do the cake." (I have given this friend a lot of free legal services lately, and I think she really wanted a way to pay me back.)
And so I said, "Can you make a Jack Skellington cake?" Thinking something like this:
And she made the most awesome Jack Skellington cake I have ever seen that must have taken more hours than I can possibly imagine:
Yay! She was a huge life saver!
And then about 5:00 Friday night, my brother called to tell me he decided to come down. He was originally coming this weekend, and then he called last week to say he couldn't and then he called Friday night to say he changed his mind again. So that added to the chaos a bit more.
Saturday morning, DH drove PS to a robotics competition 45 miles away, so I didn't have them to help out. My brother went to see my mom, but at least he took all of the other kids with him, so they weren't underfoot while I was cooking and cleaning and decorating and costume making and murder mystery clue assembling.
I don't know how we managed, but somehow we pulled it all off. The house looked hauntingly awesome, the kids managed their own make-up for their costumes, the food came together, and all of the kids claimed to have a great time.
Since it was a murder mystery party, DH made a backdrop for mug shots to take all of the kids pics as they arrived. We had prints made while the mystery was being unraveled and gave all of the kids a book of their mug shots as party favors:
The party was a success, and I am exhausted. I swear I'm going to spend the entire day in my PJ's catching up on the new television shows that start this week. Definitely time to recharge.
On Tuesday the moved my mother, which was definitely a positive thing, but I had to work in a couple of trips to bring her new things that she needed, which added to the chaos.
And then there was PS's birthday and the party. Lesson learned: never try to plan a murder mystery party in two weeks. Especially when you have an unpredictable job that could explode at any moment. I had gone shopping the weekend before, but I had to do pretty much everything else on Friday night and Saturday morning. It was A LOT of work.
I had originally planned to try to make a cake, or, more specifically cake pops, in a shore fit of lunacy in which I forgot that I am completely incapable of decorating anything. My test batch of cake pops last weekend were too wet so they wouldn't stay on the stick and looked like delicious little balls of bird gak.
By Friday it was crystal clear that there was no way in heck I was going to be baking anything, and I had resigned myself to picking up a cake from Costco. But then a friend called and I was venting about how much I had to do and she said, "I can help! Just let me know what you need. I can come over, I can do food, I can do the cake." (I have given this friend a lot of free legal services lately, and I think she really wanted a way to pay me back.)
And so I said, "Can you make a Jack Skellington cake?" Thinking something like this:
And she made the most awesome Jack Skellington cake I have ever seen that must have taken more hours than I can possibly imagine:
Yay! She was a huge life saver!
And then about 5:00 Friday night, my brother called to tell me he decided to come down. He was originally coming this weekend, and then he called last week to say he couldn't and then he called Friday night to say he changed his mind again. So that added to the chaos a bit more.
Saturday morning, DH drove PS to a robotics competition 45 miles away, so I didn't have them to help out. My brother went to see my mom, but at least he took all of the other kids with him, so they weren't underfoot while I was cooking and cleaning and decorating and costume making and murder mystery clue assembling.
I don't know how we managed, but somehow we pulled it all off. The house looked hauntingly awesome, the kids managed their own make-up for their costumes, the food came together, and all of the kids claimed to have a great time.
Since it was a murder mystery party, DH made a backdrop for mug shots to take all of the kids pics as they arrived. We had prints made while the mystery was being unraveled and gave all of the kids a book of their mug shots as party favors:
The party was a success, and I am exhausted. I swear I'm going to spend the entire day in my PJ's catching up on the new television shows that start this week. Definitely time to recharge.
9/20/11
Slutty Sailors and Mad Scientists
So, I totally spoke too soon with my last post. Being away from the office for a day put me behind on everything, and all hell broke loose as soon as I returned.
Advice for young attorneys: don't count your settlements before they hatch. Cases I though were all wrapped up started unraveling, parties started defaulting on already settled cases, clients I haven't heard from in months suddenly needed me, and Big Boss started bringing me in on a big case that is suddenly moving very fast. And I had two deadlines that I had uncharacteristically procrastinated on meeting to deal with.
Oh yes, and in the middle of it all, my mother's case manager informed me that they were planning to move her this week to another care facility. It's a long, convoluted explanation about insurance. The new facility is a lower level of care (not acute care, where she has been), which is where I wanted to put her in the first place, but was told she could not for a multitude of reasons that do not appear to me to have been resolved. But it seems like change will be a good thing, so I didn't really fight it.
They also decided, without consulting me, that the move would be today. I had a hearing today*, so she was on her own for the move.
We visited last weekend so that we could un-decorate and bring back all of the stuff that she had accumulated in anticipation of the move. My aunt stopped in while we were there and told me that she thinks my mother is taking advantage of me because she is suddenly getting my attention after we have barely spoken for 5 years. It was nice feel validated by someone who knows our history. And hopefully it will make me feel less guilty when I don't have time to visit.
And, of course, in the middle of everything else, I am frantically trying to pull together PS's party. Her character in the murder mystery is a mad scientist, and we have been looking everywhere for a reasonably-priced lab coat (I don't have time to order online without paying ridiculous expedited shipping charges). The ones at the costume shop that just opened all have "clever" names on the breast pocket like "Dr. Howie Feltersnatch" and "Dr. Seymore Bush." Totally appropriate for a bunch of 13-year olds.
But I eventually found a slutty sailor costume on clearance (a short white dress with buttons) that I decided I could hack into a lab coat by shortening the sleeves and hem and repositioning the buttons. We'll just splatter it with a little blood and be all set.
*The hearing totally sucked. It was an administrative hearing--where a government agency gets to make up its own rules, not publish them anywhere, and apply them as it sees fit. The agency had taken a default after failing to provide notice of a previous hearing. Their position was that the agency is not required to provide notice of a hearing. Um, seriously? Thankfully, we are entitled to appeal and get a trial de novo in a real court.
Advice for young attorneys: don't count your settlements before they hatch. Cases I though were all wrapped up started unraveling, parties started defaulting on already settled cases, clients I haven't heard from in months suddenly needed me, and Big Boss started bringing me in on a big case that is suddenly moving very fast. And I had two deadlines that I had uncharacteristically procrastinated on meeting to deal with.
Oh yes, and in the middle of it all, my mother's case manager informed me that they were planning to move her this week to another care facility. It's a long, convoluted explanation about insurance. The new facility is a lower level of care (not acute care, where she has been), which is where I wanted to put her in the first place, but was told she could not for a multitude of reasons that do not appear to me to have been resolved. But it seems like change will be a good thing, so I didn't really fight it.
They also decided, without consulting me, that the move would be today. I had a hearing today*, so she was on her own for the move.
We visited last weekend so that we could un-decorate and bring back all of the stuff that she had accumulated in anticipation of the move. My aunt stopped in while we were there and told me that she thinks my mother is taking advantage of me because she is suddenly getting my attention after we have barely spoken for 5 years. It was nice feel validated by someone who knows our history. And hopefully it will make me feel less guilty when I don't have time to visit.
And, of course, in the middle of everything else, I am frantically trying to pull together PS's party. Her character in the murder mystery is a mad scientist, and we have been looking everywhere for a reasonably-priced lab coat (I don't have time to order online without paying ridiculous expedited shipping charges). The ones at the costume shop that just opened all have "clever" names on the breast pocket like "Dr. Howie Feltersnatch" and "Dr. Seymore Bush." Totally appropriate for a bunch of 13-year olds.
But I eventually found a slutty sailor costume on clearance (a short white dress with buttons) that I decided I could hack into a lab coat by shortening the sleeves and hem and repositioning the buttons. We'll just splatter it with a little blood and be all set.
*The hearing totally sucked. It was an administrative hearing--where a government agency gets to make up its own rules, not publish them anywhere, and apply them as it sees fit. The agency had taken a default after failing to provide notice of a previous hearing. Their position was that the agency is not required to provide notice of a hearing. Um, seriously? Thankfully, we are entitled to appeal and get a trial de novo in a real court.
9/13/11
Sickness and Murder
I am home with a sick kid today. It's amazing how the child, who with tears in her eyes insisted that her throat hurt too much and she felt too bad to go to school, was miraculously healed enough to go play Mario Kart the moment I told her she didn't have to go to school. And she just scarfed down the omelet I made for her and rewarded me with an enthusiastic "this is delicious!"
So in hindsight, it seems like she could have made it through school, but I guess we'll get a mommy/daughter day instead. Fortunately, today is a convenient day to be out of the office. The summer was painfully slow at work, and this month has picked up only a slightly steadier pace. The extended slowness is always a concern, but it is well timed for the crises in my personal life.
The issues with my mother are holding. She is settled into the long-term care facility where, hopefully, she will stay until her next surgery. It is literally a two-minute drive from my office. The case manager mentioned that they would like to move her to another facility with a lower level of care (not acute) for insurance purposes, but I don't see that really happening as she is still completely bedridden.
She has made comments to my brother that she doesn't see very much of me. But I have been there nearly every day since she was admitted. On the days I wasn't there, someone else visited. There have only been one or two days that she has had no visitors. And I have taken her every, single thing she has asked for (with little thanks for it). Fortunately, I have moved past the point in my life where I need her approval.
In other news, plans for PS's murder mystery party are well under way. We are having lots of fun planning menus and decorations. Our murder mystery is set in a haunted house, so we can go all Halloweeney. (Yes, it is a little early for a Halloween theme, but PS is a bit goth and somehow always manages to bring a bit of Halloween into her birthday parties.)
And my brother is planning to come down the same weekend to visit our mother. PS is super excited that her cousins may get to attend her party. I am too, but also a bit overwhelmed at hosting a party and house guests at the same time.
So in hindsight, it seems like she could have made it through school, but I guess we'll get a mommy/daughter day instead. Fortunately, today is a convenient day to be out of the office. The summer was painfully slow at work, and this month has picked up only a slightly steadier pace. The extended slowness is always a concern, but it is well timed for the crises in my personal life.
The issues with my mother are holding. She is settled into the long-term care facility where, hopefully, she will stay until her next surgery. It is literally a two-minute drive from my office. The case manager mentioned that they would like to move her to another facility with a lower level of care (not acute) for insurance purposes, but I don't see that really happening as she is still completely bedridden.
She has made comments to my brother that she doesn't see very much of me. But I have been there nearly every day since she was admitted. On the days I wasn't there, someone else visited. There have only been one or two days that she has had no visitors. And I have taken her every, single thing she has asked for (with little thanks for it). Fortunately, I have moved past the point in my life where I need her approval.
In other news, plans for PS's murder mystery party are well under way. We are having lots of fun planning menus and decorations. Our murder mystery is set in a haunted house, so we can go all Halloweeney. (Yes, it is a little early for a Halloween theme, but PS is a bit goth and somehow always manages to bring a bit of Halloween into her birthday parties.)
And my brother is planning to come down the same weekend to visit our mother. PS is super excited that her cousins may get to attend her party. I am too, but also a bit overwhelmed at hosting a party and house guests at the same time.
9/11/11
Where I Was on 9/11
The twins were about 6 weeks old. DH had left for work and I was dozing with the babies when he called and said, "Turn on the tv. They are saying on the radio that a plane just hit the World Trade Center."
And I said, "You must have misheard. That isn't possible." It was just so preposterous.
I turned on the television in our bedroom and confirmed that DH had not misheard. I was watching as the second plane hit the second tower and was glued to the television for the rest of the day as the whole horrible scenario unfolded.
PS was not-quite three, and I remember putting the living room television on Blue's Clues and being oh so thankful that Nickelodeon was not interrupting its programming. I stayed huddled in my bedroom with my infant twins, crying and wondering what kind of world I had just brought these babies into.
PS was surprisingly content to watch tv all day--maybe because we had strict limitations on how much television she was allowed to watch, or maybe because she sensed that something was wrong. The twins also seemed particularly easy to deal with that day.
Watching the memorial coverage this morning is hard. Especially when they showed the segments about the kids who lost their parents. And the kids who never knew their fathers. Those kids are about the age of my twins and I can't imagine how different their lives would be if they never knew their dad.
And I said, "You must have misheard. That isn't possible." It was just so preposterous.
I turned on the television in our bedroom and confirmed that DH had not misheard. I was watching as the second plane hit the second tower and was glued to the television for the rest of the day as the whole horrible scenario unfolded.
PS was not-quite three, and I remember putting the living room television on Blue's Clues and being oh so thankful that Nickelodeon was not interrupting its programming. I stayed huddled in my bedroom with my infant twins, crying and wondering what kind of world I had just brought these babies into.
PS was surprisingly content to watch tv all day--maybe because we had strict limitations on how much television she was allowed to watch, or maybe because she sensed that something was wrong. The twins also seemed particularly easy to deal with that day.
Watching the memorial coverage this morning is hard. Especially when they showed the segments about the kids who lost their parents. And the kids who never knew their fathers. Those kids are about the age of my twins and I can't imagine how different their lives would be if they never knew their dad.
9/8/11
Party Time
PS's birthday is three weeks away and her friends have started asking if she's going to have a party because last year's party was so much fun. One of them said that it would be really tough to top last year's scavenger hunt party, and I think she's right, so PS and I have been brainstorming for another awesome party idea.
I think we've decided upon a murder mystery party. When she floated the idea to her friends today they agreed that it sounded "awesome." I've never been to a murder mystery party before, but it always sounded like lots of fun.
Now our challenge is just to find one that is teen appropriate. There are a ton of places online to download kits, but they are all on websites that look like they were made in someone's basement in 1995, so I'm a bit hesitant to order.
So readers, has anyone bought a downloadable murder-mystery kit that you recommend? Or have you played one of the boxed games? Any party tips?
I think we've decided upon a murder mystery party. When she floated the idea to her friends today they agreed that it sounded "awesome." I've never been to a murder mystery party before, but it always sounded like lots of fun.
Now our challenge is just to find one that is teen appropriate. There are a ton of places online to download kits, but they are all on websites that look like they were made in someone's basement in 1995, so I'm a bit hesitant to order.
So readers, has anyone bought a downloadable murder-mystery kit that you recommend? Or have you played one of the boxed games? Any party tips?
8/30/11
Chaos Continues
Exhaustion is setting in. I'm stressed and cranky.
I visited two nursing homes this morning and still made it to work by 9:30.
Had a completely unproductive day. But at least all my bosses were out, so there was no one around to harass me.
Left the office at 3:45 to get my mother transferred to the long term care facility. Stopped along to way to drown my troubles in very bad food. Fries and a chocolate shake from McDonalds. There is just something about the hot, salty, carbyness of the fries combined with the cold sweetness of the shake that makes life a little better. And yes, I have been known to dip my fries in the shake. My kids do this, too. Yum!
Got her all set up and told her at 6:45 that I had to leave to make Back-to-School Night for the twins. She said, "Wait! I have to see if I can get online. I'm supposed to play poker with my friends online tonight." Because poker is so much more important than meeting the kids' teachers.
So I pulled out her little netbook and tried unsuccessfully to get an internet connection. I told her she was going to have to ask her nurse if they had a wi-fi password because I had to go.
Finally left at 7:00, and she was irritated that I hadn't figured out how to get an internet connection.
Drove 80 mph all the way home and made it to the school at 7:30 exactly. Spent the next hour and fifteen minutes touring the twins' classes while simultaneously texting PS instructions for uploading pictures that she has to have printed tonight for a homework project (of course, she couldn't have bothered to get this done before the deadline and I haven't been home to nag her).
Finally home, twins getting ready for bed, DH still helping PS with homework. Need to go pick up PS's prints--was going to beg DH to do it, but he is knee deep in math homework that I am not smart enough to help with.
Really just want to go to bed.
I visited two nursing homes this morning and still made it to work by 9:30.
Had a completely unproductive day. But at least all my bosses were out, so there was no one around to harass me.
Left the office at 3:45 to get my mother transferred to the long term care facility. Stopped along to way to drown my troubles in very bad food. Fries and a chocolate shake from McDonalds. There is just something about the hot, salty, carbyness of the fries combined with the cold sweetness of the shake that makes life a little better. And yes, I have been known to dip my fries in the shake. My kids do this, too. Yum!
Got her all set up and told her at 6:45 that I had to leave to make Back-to-School Night for the twins. She said, "Wait! I have to see if I can get online. I'm supposed to play poker with my friends online tonight." Because poker is so much more important than meeting the kids' teachers.
So I pulled out her little netbook and tried unsuccessfully to get an internet connection. I told her she was going to have to ask her nurse if they had a wi-fi password because I had to go.
Finally left at 7:00, and she was irritated that I hadn't figured out how to get an internet connection.
Drove 80 mph all the way home and made it to the school at 7:30 exactly. Spent the next hour and fifteen minutes touring the twins' classes while simultaneously texting PS instructions for uploading pictures that she has to have printed tonight for a homework project (of course, she couldn't have bothered to get this done before the deadline and I haven't been home to nag her).
Finally home, twins getting ready for bed, DH still helping PS with homework. Need to go pick up PS's prints--was going to beg DH to do it, but he is knee deep in math homework that I am not smart enough to help with.
Really just want to go to bed.
8/29/11
DH is even more awesome than I realized
a/k/a Today REALLY Sucked
Dropped the kiddos off at school and headed to the hospital. My mother wasn't there. Nurse said she was taken for a CT scan and should be back any minute. So I went to buy parking vouchers and coffee. And she still wasn't there. And I waited and waited and finally decided I had to go to work.
Got to the office and called and she put me on the phone with her hospital case manager who is helping to find an assisted living center. Which is just code for Old Folk's Home. She sent me a list of about 20 places and it was my job to narrow the list.
Then Big Boss went insane and decided that my immediate assistance was required all day to help prepare for an arbitration that we have know about for at least 3 months and for which we are not the primary attorneys (insurance defense counsel is handling, we are general counsel). He gave me about 5 research projects and then buzzed me about every 5 seconds needing some document or other that I was apparently the only person in the office qualified to locate (especially frustrating when said document was literally sitting right in front of him).
In the middle of all that I managed to call 4 places for info. My plan was to visit this evening or tomorrow morning.
But Big Boss kept buzzing and demanding.
Then, My mother called to tell me they are moving her TOMORROW. (So much for buying those parking vouchers this morning.) Oh holy crap, how was I ever going to find a place by tomorrow? Believe me, at this point I would have gladly hired someone to research assisted living centers, but I didn't have time to find anybody.
And Big Boss kept buzzing and demanding.
As the afternoon pressed on, it became clear there was no way in heck I was going to be able to find an assisted living center on my own. So I recruited my brother to check the state's records on medical facilities, and poor DH had to tour the ones I had selected.
Yes, he is the awesomest husband in the entire world. I hardly had time to even hand off the information. Poor guy had virtually no information but he was a trooper and at least someone has seen the inside of these places.. Every time I picked up the phone Big Boss barged into my office looking irritated.
About 7:30 tonight, Big Boss said, "Do you have that research done yet?" To which I replied, "No, because you keep needing me to do other things."
And then he said to Partner, "You need to divide this project with LC because she can't get it done."
And I have him the raised eyebrow look I give my kids when they are telling a fib, and he said "I mean because I keep needing her."
OMG, I was ready to strangle him. I was the angriest and most frustrated I have ever been at this job--although I'm sure the stress from the mom situation contributed. (And no, I wasn't not getting my research done because of her--I spent maybe 30 minutes on the phone with that stuff, shoved what I could onto my brother and husband, worked through lunch and barely took a bathroom break all day and billed 10 hours).
Another day like this and I'm going to have to start keeping a bottle of Jack in my desk.
Dropped the kiddos off at school and headed to the hospital. My mother wasn't there. Nurse said she was taken for a CT scan and should be back any minute. So I went to buy parking vouchers and coffee. And she still wasn't there. And I waited and waited and finally decided I had to go to work.
Got to the office and called and she put me on the phone with her hospital case manager who is helping to find an assisted living center. Which is just code for Old Folk's Home. She sent me a list of about 20 places and it was my job to narrow the list.
Then Big Boss went insane and decided that my immediate assistance was required all day to help prepare for an arbitration that we have know about for at least 3 months and for which we are not the primary attorneys (insurance defense counsel is handling, we are general counsel). He gave me about 5 research projects and then buzzed me about every 5 seconds needing some document or other that I was apparently the only person in the office qualified to locate (especially frustrating when said document was literally sitting right in front of him).
In the middle of all that I managed to call 4 places for info. My plan was to visit this evening or tomorrow morning.
But Big Boss kept buzzing and demanding.
Then, My mother called to tell me they are moving her TOMORROW. (So much for buying those parking vouchers this morning.) Oh holy crap, how was I ever going to find a place by tomorrow? Believe me, at this point I would have gladly hired someone to research assisted living centers, but I didn't have time to find anybody.
And Big Boss kept buzzing and demanding.
As the afternoon pressed on, it became clear there was no way in heck I was going to be able to find an assisted living center on my own. So I recruited my brother to check the state's records on medical facilities, and poor DH had to tour the ones I had selected.
Yes, he is the awesomest husband in the entire world. I hardly had time to even hand off the information. Poor guy had virtually no information but he was a trooper and at least someone has seen the inside of these places.. Every time I picked up the phone Big Boss barged into my office looking irritated.
About 7:30 tonight, Big Boss said, "Do you have that research done yet?" To which I replied, "No, because you keep needing me to do other things."
And then he said to Partner, "You need to divide this project with LC because she can't get it done."
And I have him the raised eyebrow look I give my kids when they are telling a fib, and he said "I mean because I keep needing her."
OMG, I was ready to strangle him. I was the angriest and most frustrated I have ever been at this job--although I'm sure the stress from the mom situation contributed. (And no, I wasn't not getting my research done because of her--I spent maybe 30 minutes on the phone with that stuff, shoved what I could onto my brother and husband, worked through lunch and barely took a bathroom break all day and billed 10 hours).
Another day like this and I'm going to have to start keeping a bottle of Jack in my desk.
Flashback
"What would the child you once were think of the adult you've become?"
I saw this on Pinterest and began pondering the answer.
I certainly didn't envision the life I have now. I always said that I would be a doctor. I never really wanted kids. Didn't spend too much time thinking about a husband. Probably assumed that I would still live in Hometown.
But I don't think that kid would be disappointed that things turned out differently, because what I have is good.
Sometimes I feel a tiny twinge of regret for not pursuing medicine. I think that I would have been good at it. But law is a really good fit for me, too, and I think it gives me far more time with my family.
And I'm so glad that fate took over and gave me PS, because having kids is definitely the most awesome thing that's ever happened. (The twins were more intentional and less fateful, but still awesome.) Oh yeah, and DH--he's pretty awesome, too.
So I think Kid LC would be pretty proud of Adult LC. Life's not perfect, but it's pretty darn good. And I'm happy. I wasn't happy for much of my childhood and was clinically depressed through my teen years. I think kid LC would be pleased that I grew up and found happiness.
I saw this on Pinterest and began pondering the answer.
I certainly didn't envision the life I have now. I always said that I would be a doctor. I never really wanted kids. Didn't spend too much time thinking about a husband. Probably assumed that I would still live in Hometown.
But I don't think that kid would be disappointed that things turned out differently, because what I have is good.
Sometimes I feel a tiny twinge of regret for not pursuing medicine. I think that I would have been good at it. But law is a really good fit for me, too, and I think it gives me far more time with my family.
And I'm so glad that fate took over and gave me PS, because having kids is definitely the most awesome thing that's ever happened. (The twins were more intentional and less fateful, but still awesome.) Oh yeah, and DH--he's pretty awesome, too.
So I think Kid LC would be pretty proud of Adult LC. Life's not perfect, but it's pretty darn good. And I'm happy. I wasn't happy for much of my childhood and was clinically depressed through my teen years. I think kid LC would be pleased that I grew up and found happiness.
8/26/11
Brave New World
So I don't quite know what to do with my current situation, with my mother being suddenly thrust upon me. I have worked hard to keep my distance from her, and I have spent more time with her this week that I have in the last 5 years.
I won't go into details, and I know that many don't understand. You can't understand if you had a good mom. It took DH a very long time to understand because he had an awesome mom--but he has finally seen enough to sort of get it.
She just never made her kids a priority. Whatever man was in her life was her top priority and my brother and I were frequently left to fend for ourselves.
So they only time we ever really got along was when I was in my early 20s. When I wasn't a responsibility or burden for her, but before I had my own kids, which were just too much of a bother and took attention away from her. She wanted a buddy, not a daughter.
And so she has been tolerable for the last few days because all of my attention has been focused on her. I've been the buddy, not distracted by my kids. I've barely seen them this week because I've been with her. But before I left today I said, "I'll come back tomorrow and bring the kids."
And she said, "As long as they don't hit my leg."
OMG--they are 10 and almost 13. They aren't toddlers--it's not like they're gonna try to crawl in her lap. She's not exactly a snugly, cookie-baking kind of Grandma anyway. But the sad fact is she doesn't want my kids around. It will take attention away from her.
And now I am being dragged into taking time away from my kids to focus on her for the next two months. I have got to figure out how to define this new relationship and draw a new line. My kids have always been and will continue to be my priority and she will have to learn that she comes after them. She won't understand--and she certainly thinks that I owe her more than I do.
But I've really missed my kids this week. And I really do not want them to have the disdain for me that I have for my mother because something else was always more important.
I won't go into details, and I know that many don't understand. You can't understand if you had a good mom. It took DH a very long time to understand because he had an awesome mom--but he has finally seen enough to sort of get it.
She just never made her kids a priority. Whatever man was in her life was her top priority and my brother and I were frequently left to fend for ourselves.
So they only time we ever really got along was when I was in my early 20s. When I wasn't a responsibility or burden for her, but before I had my own kids, which were just too much of a bother and took attention away from her. She wanted a buddy, not a daughter.
And so she has been tolerable for the last few days because all of my attention has been focused on her. I've been the buddy, not distracted by my kids. I've barely seen them this week because I've been with her. But before I left today I said, "I'll come back tomorrow and bring the kids."
And she said, "As long as they don't hit my leg."
OMG--they are 10 and almost 13. They aren't toddlers--it's not like they're gonna try to crawl in her lap. She's not exactly a snugly, cookie-baking kind of Grandma anyway. But the sad fact is she doesn't want my kids around. It will take attention away from her.
And now I am being dragged into taking time away from my kids to focus on her for the next two months. I have got to figure out how to define this new relationship and draw a new line. My kids have always been and will continue to be my priority and she will have to learn that she comes after them. She won't understand--and she certainly thinks that I owe her more than I do.
But I've really missed my kids this week. And I really do not want them to have the disdain for me that I have for my mother because something else was always more important.
8/25/11
Waiting
At the hospital. I worked until 11 this morning, and then headed over to the hospital to be here for my mother's surgery scheduled for 1:15. We figured they would take to pre-op a couple of hours ahead of time, and I wanted to be here to talk to he docs.
Of course, 1:15 came and went. They finally took her down to pre-op at 2:30 and didn't take her to surgery until 4:00. But the monitor in the waiting room that's supposed to keep me updated shows that they haven't even started the surgery yet. Looks like it is going to be a late night.
Thankfully I found a make-your-own trail mix bar in the cafeteria, so I have provisions for my wait. And my laptop, nook and iphone to entertain me. How did we ever survive before we had all of our electronic accoutrements?
Of course, 1:15 came and went. They finally took her down to pre-op at 2:30 and didn't take her to surgery until 4:00. But the monitor in the waiting room that's supposed to keep me updated shows that they haven't even started the surgery yet. Looks like it is going to be a late night.
Thankfully I found a make-your-own trail mix bar in the cafeteria, so I have provisions for my wait. And my laptop, nook and iphone to entertain me. How did we ever survive before we had all of our electronic accoutrements?
8/24/11
Like an Injured Cat in Heat
TT got her violin today and SS gets her viola tomorrow. Gee, I had forgotten how much fun it was to have a beginning instrumentalist in the house.
Meanwhile, today my mom asked her doctor today how long she would have to stay in Big City before she could return to Hometown. He told her that she needed to stay here until after the replacement hip was installed--at least two months. She has a host of new docs here and they want her to stick with those docs during this treatment. And really, she's in better hands here with specialists at an excellent teaching hospital than back in Hometown where the best of the best are unlikely to practice (and in fact, failed to find this infection despite the fact she's had a low-grade fever for months).
But I'm not sure how to deal with the next two months. Our personal issues aside*, I'm just not sure how to fit a sick parent into the mix of my already very busy life. Of course, we've been down this road before with MIL. It was really hard then, and we were not the primary caregivers and the family had a lot of support.
Here her options are inpatient rehab or my house. We would be primary caregivers and would have a lot less support. It's looking like inpatient rehab, because we just don't know how to make my house work (and that's really not a path I want to go down). We brought the wheelchair in the house tonight and it won't fit through any of the bathroom doors--and there is not much room to expand the doorways even if we wanted to go that route.
But rehab means that I will have to fit visiting into my schedule several times a week. She doesn't have any friends or much family here. It's only been two days and the work/hospital/kids schedule is already wearing on me.
Ugh, there is no good answer here. And by the time she gets past the two months, they install the new part, do rehab after that surgery, and then get around to doing the hip that they were supposed to do in the first place we are looking at a 6-month ordeal.
*She has, surprisingly, been on her best behavior. Yesterday she even asked if I had lost weight. I've never heard that--only how much she thinks I need to lose. I think she understands her predicament. I know my brother had a chat with her when he had to bring her down for her first appointment with this surgeon and she started giving him attitude.
Meanwhile, today my mom asked her doctor today how long she would have to stay in Big City before she could return to Hometown. He told her that she needed to stay here until after the replacement hip was installed--at least two months. She has a host of new docs here and they want her to stick with those docs during this treatment. And really, she's in better hands here with specialists at an excellent teaching hospital than back in Hometown where the best of the best are unlikely to practice (and in fact, failed to find this infection despite the fact she's had a low-grade fever for months).
But I'm not sure how to deal with the next two months. Our personal issues aside*, I'm just not sure how to fit a sick parent into the mix of my already very busy life. Of course, we've been down this road before with MIL. It was really hard then, and we were not the primary caregivers and the family had a lot of support.
Here her options are inpatient rehab or my house. We would be primary caregivers and would have a lot less support. It's looking like inpatient rehab, because we just don't know how to make my house work (and that's really not a path I want to go down). We brought the wheelchair in the house tonight and it won't fit through any of the bathroom doors--and there is not much room to expand the doorways even if we wanted to go that route.
But rehab means that I will have to fit visiting into my schedule several times a week. She doesn't have any friends or much family here. It's only been two days and the work/hospital/kids schedule is already wearing on me.
Ugh, there is no good answer here. And by the time she gets past the two months, they install the new part, do rehab after that surgery, and then get around to doing the hip that they were supposed to do in the first place we are looking at a 6-month ordeal.
*She has, surprisingly, been on her best behavior. Yesterday she even asked if I had lost weight. I've never heard that--only how much she thinks I need to lose. I think she understands her predicament. I know my brother had a chat with her when he had to bring her down for her first appointment with this surgeon and she started giving him attitude.
8/23/11
Looong Day
Up at 5:30 for mother's hip replacement surgery. Got a call at 6:15 informing me that surgery had been pushed back to 10:15. Of course, I was already on my way. But at least I had time run by Starbucks.
In the pre-op room the anesthesiologist, Dr. Wong, came in and introduced himself. My stepfather said, "Oh, we were really hoping for Dr. Right instead of Dr. Wrong." OMG, I wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear.
10 minutes after they took her back for surgery the surgeon came out. She has cysts/tumors in both hips, and they were going to aspirate both to find out what was going on. When they aspirated the left hip it had a big nasty infection. Surgeon said he can't do right hip replacement while left hip is infected. The only option is to operate on the left hip, remove the tumor and the existing hip replacement and put in an antibiotic spacer for two months until they can confirm the infection is gone, at which point he can put in the left hip replacement.
In the meantime, she has no left hip for two months? How does someone not have a hip for two months? I do not understand. I try to ask surgeon these questions, but all he wants to know right then is if we want him to proceed or if we want to wake her so that she can make the decision (even though there's not a decision).
We tell him to wake her. She needs to know if she's not going to have a hip for two months. And so we wait and wait for word from the recovery room. An hour-and-a-half later we can go back there (yes, she was under for 10 minutes and had no surgery). The doc already talked to her, just as she was coming out of the anesthesia. She does not understand that her existing hip replacement part is being removed.
But I wasn't on any drugs and I heard exactly what the doctor said. And I am peeved that he talked to her before we were allowed back there. God, doctors are such pains in the ass.
So anyway, the new procedure is scheduled for Thursday and she is admitted and on super-antibiotics until then. We have no idea how long she will be stuck here. And her right hip, which has her wheelchair bound, can be replaced for months. And her husband has to leave tomorrow because he has an appointment with the oncologist on Thursday and a bone marrow aspiration on Friday because he was just diagnosed with non-Hodgkins leukemia.
I left the hospital at 3:00 and headed to the office until 7:00.
Now exhausted. Just wanna go to bed. Need to find out if the surgeon is supposed to come by in the morning and if I need to be there before dawn to catch him.
Then I have a CLE for half a day tomorrow, back to the hospital, back to the office. Fortunately the hospital is within 15 minutes from my office. The next few weeks are gonna be tough.
In the pre-op room the anesthesiologist, Dr. Wong, came in and introduced himself. My stepfather said, "Oh, we were really hoping for Dr. Right instead of Dr. Wrong." OMG, I wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear.
10 minutes after they took her back for surgery the surgeon came out. She has cysts/tumors in both hips, and they were going to aspirate both to find out what was going on. When they aspirated the left hip it had a big nasty infection. Surgeon said he can't do right hip replacement while left hip is infected. The only option is to operate on the left hip, remove the tumor and the existing hip replacement and put in an antibiotic spacer for two months until they can confirm the infection is gone, at which point he can put in the left hip replacement.
In the meantime, she has no left hip for two months? How does someone not have a hip for two months? I do not understand. I try to ask surgeon these questions, but all he wants to know right then is if we want him to proceed or if we want to wake her so that she can make the decision (even though there's not a decision).
We tell him to wake her. She needs to know if she's not going to have a hip for two months. And so we wait and wait for word from the recovery room. An hour-and-a-half later we can go back there (yes, she was under for 10 minutes and had no surgery). The doc already talked to her, just as she was coming out of the anesthesia. She does not understand that her existing hip replacement part is being removed.
But I wasn't on any drugs and I heard exactly what the doctor said. And I am peeved that he talked to her before we were allowed back there. God, doctors are such pains in the ass.
So anyway, the new procedure is scheduled for Thursday and she is admitted and on super-antibiotics until then. We have no idea how long she will be stuck here. And her right hip, which has her wheelchair bound, can be replaced for months. And her husband has to leave tomorrow because he has an appointment with the oncologist on Thursday and a bone marrow aspiration on Friday because he was just diagnosed with non-Hodgkins leukemia.
I left the hospital at 3:00 and headed to the office until 7:00.
Now exhausted. Just wanna go to bed. Need to find out if the surgeon is supposed to come by in the morning and if I need to be there before dawn to catch him.
Then I have a CLE for half a day tomorrow, back to the hospital, back to the office. Fortunately the hospital is within 15 minutes from my office. The next few weeks are gonna be tough.
8/17/11
Crazy Busy Exhausting Day
Got to work at 8:30 for a 9:00 client meeting. Saw client crossing the parking lot on my way in. So much for having time for meeting prep.
Had an end-of the-day deadline arising from the meeting. Then another client called with another end-of-the-day deadline.
Then a pro bono client for whom I have been working on on a custody modification left me a frantic voicemail. We pretty much had an agreement for temporary orders regarding custody and decided to hold off on fighting about child support because we wanted temp orders in place before school started.But Dad decided he wanted temp orders to be permanent and only wanted to pay 1/3 the statutory guideline for child support. He freaked when we insisted on the minimum statutory guideline (even though he is high income and we could likely get more) and the whole thing got really ugly and almost blew up. Fortunately cooler heads (the lawyers') prevailed and we are back on track.
In the middle of everything else, I noticed that my phone wasn't charging. I borrowed the receptionist's charger and still no luck. So I popped into the Apple store on my way home. My phone was 4 days out of warranty. And they gave me a new one! Yay Apple! They made a crappy day a lot less crappy.
Finally made it home by 8:30. The kids were bouncing off the walls. Today was our nanny's last day and she bought them all huge bags of candy. But they are bummed that she is leaving; she's like a big sister to them.
Tomorrow is meet the teacher night and school starts Monday. Still not ready.
Had an end-of the-day deadline arising from the meeting. Then another client called with another end-of-the-day deadline.
Then a pro bono client for whom I have been working on on a custody modification left me a frantic voicemail. We pretty much had an agreement for temporary orders regarding custody and decided to hold off on fighting about child support because we wanted temp orders in place before school started.But Dad decided he wanted temp orders to be permanent and only wanted to pay 1/3 the statutory guideline for child support. He freaked when we insisted on the minimum statutory guideline (even though he is high income and we could likely get more) and the whole thing got really ugly and almost blew up. Fortunately cooler heads (the lawyers') prevailed and we are back on track.
In the middle of everything else, I noticed that my phone wasn't charging. I borrowed the receptionist's charger and still no luck. So I popped into the Apple store on my way home. My phone was 4 days out of warranty. And they gave me a new one! Yay Apple! They made a crappy day a lot less crappy.
Finally made it home by 8:30. The kids were bouncing off the walls. Today was our nanny's last day and she bought them all huge bags of candy. But they are bummed that she is leaving; she's like a big sister to them.
Tomorrow is meet the teacher night and school starts Monday. Still not ready.
8/15/11
My Favorite Movies
I'm watching Father of the Bride. I love this movie. It is one of those movies that I will always watch if I find it showing, no matter how many times I have seen it. Others on that list...
1) Dirty Dancing
2) Pretty Woman
3) Grease
4) Steel Magnolias
Yeah, I'm all about the chick flicks.
1) Dirty Dancing
2) Pretty Woman
3) Grease
4) Steel Magnolias
Yeah, I'm all about the chick flicks.
8/14/11
Home!
After a fantastic week, we finally made it home at midnight last night. Kinda feel like I have vacation hangover this morning.
We spent out last day hitting the outlet malls--well timed since storms blew through that morning stirring up the sea and making the water murkier and the shore yuckier than it had been all week.
I wanted to do a bit of school shopping for the kids--although we really don't do serious shopping until October. I bought the kids a ton of new clothes at the beginning of summer, and it will be to hot to wear jeans and fall clothes for at least another 6 weeks.
But they did all get new shoes. Believe me, setting 3 girls loose in a shoe store is a true test of patience. DH was a real trooper. My 10 year olds bought size 8.5 running shoes! I wear a 9! They look like they a wearing clown shoes with their tiny bodies and giant feet.
I got some great deals at the Ann Taylor outlet, but my biggest find was a new work bag. Right after I graduated, I took my grad money and bought a giant red leather Fossil bag that was the perfect size for carrying files back. It was very sleek and polished with clean lines--kind of a handbag/briefcase hybrid that worked very well for carrying to court or depos.
I carried that bag every single day for three years. But it started to look pretty shabby. The seams and hardware were holding up fine, but the beautiful red was fading to white (a problem I wouldn't have had with a natural colored bag), and it just felt too worn to carry. Sadly, I tucked my beloved bag into the back of my closet, and began my search for a replacement.
Most recently I've been carrying a huge red kate spade nylon bag that PS has dubbed "the lunch box." I get tons of compliments on it, but it is just not working out. It will hold files, but only vertically, and everything just falls to the bottom and crumples. Before that was a gorgeous burgundy suede Cole Haan bag. It would hold a single file folder, but not an entire Redweld. It wasn't quite polished enough for court, and the suede didn't really work for summer.
So when we were out shopping, I wanted to check out the Fossil and Coach outlets in my new bag search. The Coach outlet had great prices, but nothing like what I needed. And the majority of their bags were the signature print. I really like the clean lines of the classic leather Coach bags. I hate the signature print--in Coach or any other label. At the risk of offending my readers, I'll just say it--I think it's tacky and screams "look at my label."
And then in the Fossil outlet, I spotted it. My exact bag. But shiny and new. And only $80--less than half of what I paid for the original. Now, I did check out the rest of the store. But I didn't find anything else as polished and perfectly suited for work. And so I bought it. Yes, the exact same bag that I bought back in 2007.
Is that weird? It feels weird. But I love that bag. It is exactly what I need, and a bargain at $80.
And yes, all of my bags are red. I guess it's my thing. And besides, I can carry the red regardless of whether I am wearing black or brown and not feel uncoordinated.
We spent out last day hitting the outlet malls--well timed since storms blew through that morning stirring up the sea and making the water murkier and the shore yuckier than it had been all week.
I wanted to do a bit of school shopping for the kids--although we really don't do serious shopping until October. I bought the kids a ton of new clothes at the beginning of summer, and it will be to hot to wear jeans and fall clothes for at least another 6 weeks.
But they did all get new shoes. Believe me, setting 3 girls loose in a shoe store is a true test of patience. DH was a real trooper. My 10 year olds bought size 8.5 running shoes! I wear a 9! They look like they a wearing clown shoes with their tiny bodies and giant feet.
I got some great deals at the Ann Taylor outlet, but my biggest find was a new work bag. Right after I graduated, I took my grad money and bought a giant red leather Fossil bag that was the perfect size for carrying files back. It was very sleek and polished with clean lines--kind of a handbag/briefcase hybrid that worked very well for carrying to court or depos.
I carried that bag every single day for three years. But it started to look pretty shabby. The seams and hardware were holding up fine, but the beautiful red was fading to white (a problem I wouldn't have had with a natural colored bag), and it just felt too worn to carry. Sadly, I tucked my beloved bag into the back of my closet, and began my search for a replacement.
Most recently I've been carrying a huge red kate spade nylon bag that PS has dubbed "the lunch box." I get tons of compliments on it, but it is just not working out. It will hold files, but only vertically, and everything just falls to the bottom and crumples. Before that was a gorgeous burgundy suede Cole Haan bag. It would hold a single file folder, but not an entire Redweld. It wasn't quite polished enough for court, and the suede didn't really work for summer.
So when we were out shopping, I wanted to check out the Fossil and Coach outlets in my new bag search. The Coach outlet had great prices, but nothing like what I needed. And the majority of their bags were the signature print. I really like the clean lines of the classic leather Coach bags. I hate the signature print--in Coach or any other label. At the risk of offending my readers, I'll just say it--I think it's tacky and screams "look at my label."
And then in the Fossil outlet, I spotted it. My exact bag. But shiny and new. And only $80--less than half of what I paid for the original. Now, I did check out the rest of the store. But I didn't find anything else as polished and perfectly suited for work. And so I bought it. Yes, the exact same bag that I bought back in 2007.
Is that weird? It feels weird. But I love that bag. It is exactly what I need, and a bargain at $80.
And yes, all of my bags are red. I guess it's my thing. And besides, I can carry the red regardless of whether I am wearing black or brown and not feel uncoordinated.
8/11/11
Winding Up
Yesterday we headed to the Naval Aviation Museum-it was very cool. Tons of war planes and the kids could sit in many of them. DH and the twins especially enjoyed it. PS is suddenly too cool to sit in the planes and has decided everything is boring.
On our way out we noticed a little sign that said "Lighthouse Open," so we detoured to visit a 150 year old working lighthouse. It was also very cool. It was my first time to visit a lighthouse and we got to climb all the way to the top (177 steps!). On our way back out we learned that the lighthouse was rumored to be haunted and has been featured on Ghosthunters.
Today we went on a dolphin cruise. We cruised around the key for a while before they came out, but we finally did get to see a pair of dolphins jumping in the wake of our boat. Now the kids are begging to go to Sea World so that they can pet dolphins. (Funny, since we went to Sea World right before the twins turned 3 and SS was terrified of everything--we couldn't even sit in the top row of the stadium for the Shamu show without her freaking out).
And then my mother called. She is having surgery on August 23rd and will be in the hospital for at least 2 weeks before she moves on to rehab. But she doesn't know if it will be inpatient or outpatient rehab. That is my $10,000 question. And they will only do one hip at a time, so this whole scenario will have to be repeated.
She also told me that her husband found out yesterday that he has cancer. (He's been ill, that's why my brother drove her to my city.) So he will be in hometown dealing with chemo and the other evils that constitute cancer treatment, while she is here having her hips replaced. Yuck.
Tomorrow is our last full day here. We've had fun, but it is enough. I am ready to be back in my own home and bed. Not looking forward to sorting through what will surely be an overflowing inbox, though.
On our way out we noticed a little sign that said "Lighthouse Open," so we detoured to visit a 150 year old working lighthouse. It was also very cool. It was my first time to visit a lighthouse and we got to climb all the way to the top (177 steps!). On our way back out we learned that the lighthouse was rumored to be haunted and has been featured on Ghosthunters.
Today we went on a dolphin cruise. We cruised around the key for a while before they came out, but we finally did get to see a pair of dolphins jumping in the wake of our boat. Now the kids are begging to go to Sea World so that they can pet dolphins. (Funny, since we went to Sea World right before the twins turned 3 and SS was terrified of everything--we couldn't even sit in the top row of the stadium for the Shamu show without her freaking out).
And then my mother called. She is having surgery on August 23rd and will be in the hospital for at least 2 weeks before she moves on to rehab. But she doesn't know if it will be inpatient or outpatient rehab. That is my $10,000 question. And they will only do one hip at a time, so this whole scenario will have to be repeated.
She also told me that her husband found out yesterday that he has cancer. (He's been ill, that's why my brother drove her to my city.) So he will be in hometown dealing with chemo and the other evils that constitute cancer treatment, while she is here having her hips replaced. Yuck.
Tomorrow is our last full day here. We've had fun, but it is enough. I am ready to be back in my own home and bed. Not looking forward to sorting through what will surely be an overflowing inbox, though.
8/10/11
Vacation and Reality
Yesterday went much better than the day before. We spent the morning figuring out how to drive a boat and navigate waterways, took a nap, had an early dinner at a local hot spot owned by Jimmy Buffet's sister, and hit the beach at dusk.
I've decided early evening is my favorite time to go to the beach. It's not so dang hot, the crowds have thinned, and the colors are beautiful.
This morning, DH and the twins have gone fishing and I am enjoying some quite time. Our condo is small--a one bedroom, with bunks built into the hallway and a pull-out sofa; maybe half the size of our downstairs at home--and we've had plenty of togetherness. Plus, our friends Damp and Sandy have moved in, and this gives me a chance to sweep them back out without three kids underfoot.
So everything is great again--except for the call I got from my brother yesterday. He had to drive our mother* from Hometown to my city to visit a specialist. She has severe health issues that sort of began when I was a senior in high school and she fell and broke her hip (she was 43). Since then, she's has had both of her hips replaced twice, along with every other major joint in her body.
Anyway, she recently fell again and needs another hip replacement, but can't find a surgeon in Hometown who will do it and is wheelchair bound until something is done. Apparently this is a major undertaking because her bones have deteriorated so much. So she started looking in my city and finally found a surgeon who will talk to her. My brother (who is cursing me for being out of town right now) was charged with bringing her down for her appointment.
The city doc said that she has tumors in both hips and both need to be replaced. He also wants to do aspirations in both hips to see if the tumors are malignant.
So, it's looking like she's going to be stuck in my city for a while. Right now she is staying with her brother and her brother and sister are helping her out this week. (Both live on the opposite end of Big City from me.) But I have a feeling she's going to end up with me. Her doctor is really close to my office, and the hospital is closest to me. Besides, her brother and sister have their own jobs and lives.
I am not terribly happy about this. First, because I have really tried to keep my mother at a distance (for my own and my kids' sakes). And because my house is not wheelchair friendly. There are multiple steps up the front walk, and a tight squeeze through the back door. Only the master suite is downstairs. The kids' rooms and the guest room are upstairs. Her staying with us means DH and me moving into the upstairs guest room so that she can have our room downstairs.
Ugh. Despite my issues with my mother, I do feel an obligation to help out with this situation. But I reserve the right to bitch about it. At least I have 3 days of vacation before I have to deal with this reality.
*I have mentioned occasionally on this blog that I don't get along with my mother, and have essentially cut of ties with her. I talk to her a couple of time a year, but I intentionally keep her at a distance because I don't need her drama infecting my life. The reasons are numerous and I don't feel like going into them now, but they are justified.
I've decided early evening is my favorite time to go to the beach. It's not so dang hot, the crowds have thinned, and the colors are beautiful.
This morning, DH and the twins have gone fishing and I am enjoying some quite time. Our condo is small--a one bedroom, with bunks built into the hallway and a pull-out sofa; maybe half the size of our downstairs at home--and we've had plenty of togetherness. Plus, our friends Damp and Sandy have moved in, and this gives me a chance to sweep them back out without three kids underfoot.
So everything is great again--except for the call I got from my brother yesterday. He had to drive our mother* from Hometown to my city to visit a specialist. She has severe health issues that sort of began when I was a senior in high school and she fell and broke her hip (she was 43). Since then, she's has had both of her hips replaced twice, along with every other major joint in her body.
Anyway, she recently fell again and needs another hip replacement, but can't find a surgeon in Hometown who will do it and is wheelchair bound until something is done. Apparently this is a major undertaking because her bones have deteriorated so much. So she started looking in my city and finally found a surgeon who will talk to her. My brother (who is cursing me for being out of town right now) was charged with bringing her down for her appointment.
The city doc said that she has tumors in both hips and both need to be replaced. He also wants to do aspirations in both hips to see if the tumors are malignant.
So, it's looking like she's going to be stuck in my city for a while. Right now she is staying with her brother and her brother and sister are helping her out this week. (Both live on the opposite end of Big City from me.) But I have a feeling she's going to end up with me. Her doctor is really close to my office, and the hospital is closest to me. Besides, her brother and sister have their own jobs and lives.
I am not terribly happy about this. First, because I have really tried to keep my mother at a distance (for my own and my kids' sakes). And because my house is not wheelchair friendly. There are multiple steps up the front walk, and a tight squeeze through the back door. Only the master suite is downstairs. The kids' rooms and the guest room are upstairs. Her staying with us means DH and me moving into the upstairs guest room so that she can have our room downstairs.
Ugh. Despite my issues with my mother, I do feel an obligation to help out with this situation. But I reserve the right to bitch about it. At least I have 3 days of vacation before I have to deal with this reality.
*I have mentioned occasionally on this blog that I don't get along with my mother, and have essentially cut of ties with her. I talk to her a couple of time a year, but I intentionally keep her at a distance because I don't need her drama infecting my life. The reasons are numerous and I don't feel like going into them now, but they are justified.
8/8/11
Vacay Day 2: This Vacation May Kill Us
Today do not go well.
We started off at the little zoo that could--a lovely little zoo full of playful critters that you can get a bit closer to than at most of the big zoos we've visited. And the girls got to ride a camel and play with lemurs.
Unfortunately, halfway through our visit, PS started feeling bad. First she started seeing spots, then she said her head hurt and she was getting nauseous. I had to leave DH and the twins playing with the lemurs while I ran PS back to the condo. She cried the whole way back. I'm pretty sure she was suffering from her first migraine. I gave her a dose of super Excedrin and a cold washrag on her head and left her alone in a cool dark room for a while.
After I retrieved the rest of the family from the zoo, I took the TT and SS down to the beach while DH stayed with PS in the condo. The wind was blowing today and the waves were crashing hard. I took the kids' boogie board into the the water and was immediately rolled into the sand, and have road rash (sea rash?) on my shin to show for it. For the rest of the afternoon a stream of blood slowly leaked down my leg.
A little later I had retired to the beach with a magazine while the girls played in the surf. SS had a floaty mat and TT had a ring. They started floating a little down the beach from me. They were right at the edge of my comfort level. And, then, within a minute, they were beyond my comfort level. I started walking down the beach toward them, reached TT quickly. I could hear SS yelling at her, and from the tone, I knew she was scared. I ordered TT back to the beach, and headed out toward SS. Even as I was moving toward her, the ocean seemed to be drawing her farther and farther away.
I am not an athlete, but, thankfully, I have always been a strong swimmer. Still, about halfway toward SS I started getting worried. I couldn't touch at all, and she still looked so far away. We weren't on a public beach, so there was no lifeguard. Only a handful of other people, who I hoped were paying attention. Three-quarters of the way there, I was getting tired and really worried. It was pure mommy adrenaline that got me to SS. I finally nabbed the end of SS's mat and side-stroked my way back to shore. It was a whole lot easier getting back to shore than going out. But by the time we did get back my heart was beating about a thousand beats per minute and I was breathing hard. I think it took two hours for my heart rate to come back down.
Once we got back to the beach, I plopped down to text DH. But my iphone said that the temperature was too high to operate. (WTF?) So I carefully balanced it in the cooler. In the meantime, the girls went back to collecting shells in the surf.
And then SS got stung by a jellyfish. So she comes up to me screaming. And, of course, I'd left the bottle of vinegar back in the condo. Right at that moment the wind grabbed TT's floaty ring and rolled it, on it's side down the beach. It rolled and rolled and rolled--at least a couple hundred yards.
So I was still recovering fro my deep-sea rescue, one kid was screaming in pain, and the other was running down the beach after a $2 floaty. At least my phone cooled down so I was able to frantically text DH to bring down the vinegar and help us Sherpa all of our beach gear back to the condo.
By that time PS was feeling better, so we all schlepped back to the condo and crashed for a nap. I can now feel every single muscle in my shoulders and back. At least I got a nice work-out.
We started off at the little zoo that could--a lovely little zoo full of playful critters that you can get a bit closer to than at most of the big zoos we've visited. And the girls got to ride a camel and play with lemurs.
Unfortunately, halfway through our visit, PS started feeling bad. First she started seeing spots, then she said her head hurt and she was getting nauseous. I had to leave DH and the twins playing with the lemurs while I ran PS back to the condo. She cried the whole way back. I'm pretty sure she was suffering from her first migraine. I gave her a dose of super Excedrin and a cold washrag on her head and left her alone in a cool dark room for a while.
After I retrieved the rest of the family from the zoo, I took the TT and SS down to the beach while DH stayed with PS in the condo. The wind was blowing today and the waves were crashing hard. I took the kids' boogie board into the the water and was immediately rolled into the sand, and have road rash (sea rash?) on my shin to show for it. For the rest of the afternoon a stream of blood slowly leaked down my leg.
A little later I had retired to the beach with a magazine while the girls played in the surf. SS had a floaty mat and TT had a ring. They started floating a little down the beach from me. They were right at the edge of my comfort level. And, then, within a minute, they were beyond my comfort level. I started walking down the beach toward them, reached TT quickly. I could hear SS yelling at her, and from the tone, I knew she was scared. I ordered TT back to the beach, and headed out toward SS. Even as I was moving toward her, the ocean seemed to be drawing her farther and farther away.
I am not an athlete, but, thankfully, I have always been a strong swimmer. Still, about halfway toward SS I started getting worried. I couldn't touch at all, and she still looked so far away. We weren't on a public beach, so there was no lifeguard. Only a handful of other people, who I hoped were paying attention. Three-quarters of the way there, I was getting tired and really worried. It was pure mommy adrenaline that got me to SS. I finally nabbed the end of SS's mat and side-stroked my way back to shore. It was a whole lot easier getting back to shore than going out. But by the time we did get back my heart was beating about a thousand beats per minute and I was breathing hard. I think it took two hours for my heart rate to come back down.
Once we got back to the beach, I plopped down to text DH. But my iphone said that the temperature was too high to operate. (WTF?) So I carefully balanced it in the cooler. In the meantime, the girls went back to collecting shells in the surf.
And then SS got stung by a jellyfish. So she comes up to me screaming. And, of course, I'd left the bottle of vinegar back in the condo. Right at that moment the wind grabbed TT's floaty ring and rolled it, on it's side down the beach. It rolled and rolled and rolled--at least a couple hundred yards.
So I was still recovering fro my deep-sea rescue, one kid was screaming in pain, and the other was running down the beach after a $2 floaty. At least my phone cooled down so I was able to frantically text DH to bring down the vinegar and help us Sherpa all of our beach gear back to the condo.
By that time PS was feeling better, so we all schlepped back to the condo and crashed for a nap. I can now feel every single muscle in my shoulders and back. At least I got a nice work-out.
8/7/11
The Leisurely Life
We made it to our vacation condo., after a 12 hour drive yesterday. Of course, the drive took a little longer after a spontaneous detour through a Civil War battleground. The battleground wasn't particularly exciting, but along the battleground tour we stumbled upon a war ship that had been sunk and then raised in the 1960's. It was very cool and definitely made the detour worthwhile.
This morning it was ungodly hot and humid. We came from hot and humid., so I didn't expect the heat to affect us. Here is is less hot and more humid which I think is worse that the more hot and less humid that we came from.
We delayed going to the beach so that we could stock up on groceries and floaties (because we hadn't already dragged enough crap with us). Fortunately, but the time we made it back to the condo, showers had moved through, dropping temperatures and taking the humidity with them. We spent the rest of the afternoon until sunset on the beach, and the kids are begging to go back first thing in the morning. Yep. We have absolutely nothing planned, except on Tuesday when I have reserved a pontoon boat so that we can explore the bay.
So far this vacation is going well.
This morning it was ungodly hot and humid. We came from hot and humid., so I didn't expect the heat to affect us. Here is is less hot and more humid which I think is worse that the more hot and less humid that we came from.
We delayed going to the beach so that we could stock up on groceries and floaties (because we hadn't already dragged enough crap with us). Fortunately, but the time we made it back to the condo, showers had moved through, dropping temperatures and taking the humidity with them. We spent the rest of the afternoon until sunset on the beach, and the kids are begging to go back first thing in the morning. Yep. We have absolutely nothing planned, except on Tuesday when I have reserved a pontoon boat so that we can explore the bay.
So far this vacation is going well.
8/4/11
Baby It's Hot Outside
I have tried not to complain about the heat. I'm just thankful that I'm not pregnant. I carried PS during the second hottest summer in [my hot state's] history. I think we've surpassed that, and it's now the third hottest summer. But it was hot and I was hugely pregnant and miserable and we lived in a crappy duplex where the air conditioner broke every other week.
So this summer hasn't been so bad. I'm not pregnant and I pretty much go from my air conditioned house to my air conditioned car to my air conditioned office and then back again.
Until yesterday. Our house was uncomfortably warm last night at 80 degrees. I though the a/c was just having trouble keeping up in 110 degree heat. But we woke up this morning sticky and sweaty and realizing that the a/c definitely was not working.
We called our neighbor who is an a/c guy, but he was already off on another job. Fortunately, though, he was able to help DH diagnose the problem on the phone and after a quick trip to the parts store we were back in business. Total cost-- $60 and a six-pack for the neighbor.
But the heat seems to be making people crabby. This morning the gate to my office parking garage wasn't working. The lady in front of my kept swiping and swiping her card to no avail. So, since I was stuck behind her, I hopped out of my car to try my card. (I knew she worked in my building because I've been trying to figure out her vanity plate (CU AT PK) for a year.) The gate didn't work when I swiped my card either. So she snatched my card out of my hand and said, "Let me try it." After swiping unsuccessfully another 5 times, she shoved my card at me and said, "I can't believe this, today of all days." Never did her mouth utter a "thank you" for trying to help out.
Then at lunch an equally cranky woman was excessively bitchy to the guys who work the little cafe in my building. I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling her to drop the attitude. Instead I was just extra nice to the cafe guys (these guys make my lunch multiple times a week, I'm always nice to them, anyway).
Seriously, is it necessary to take your crappy attitude out on everybody around you? Eat some damn chocolate and get over it.
8/1/11
Layoffs
A few weeks ago my co-worker was let go. My firm took great pains to ensure that I knew that it was a performance based decision as opposed to an economic one. And that my position was secure. That they fully intended to replace co-worker.
Today a secretary was laid off. The reason: the firm has decided not to replace co-worker after all. So we are (were) overstaffed. It was a business decision--an economic one. Quite a different tale than the one I heard a few weeks ago. But again my firm took great pains to assure me that my position is secure.
So I am the low (wo)man on the totem pole, and it now looks like it will be that way for a while. This doesn't exactly give me warm fuzzies--even though my bosses were highly complimentary of me after both incidents.
On the one hand, I anticipate that I would be the next one out the door if the economy worsens. And I don't know if I would see it coming, because I'm pretty sure the last two didn't (although I definitely noticed enough buzzing in the office both times around to know something was up).
On the other hand, I've been busy since my co-worker left. I am the only full-time associate supporting 5 partners. I think they'd be in trouble without an associate. But it also means that I get all the crap jobs that the partners don't want to do, and that would typically be handed to a lower-level associate. I'm just not sure how I feel about this scenario. My firm is top-heavy and I don't know if there is enough room left for me to grow.
I guess I have some thinking to do, although I don't know that it even matters in this economy.
Today a secretary was laid off. The reason: the firm has decided not to replace co-worker after all. So we are (were) overstaffed. It was a business decision--an economic one. Quite a different tale than the one I heard a few weeks ago. But again my firm took great pains to assure me that my position is secure.
So I am the low (wo)man on the totem pole, and it now looks like it will be that way for a while. This doesn't exactly give me warm fuzzies--even though my bosses were highly complimentary of me after both incidents.
On the one hand, I anticipate that I would be the next one out the door if the economy worsens. And I don't know if I would see it coming, because I'm pretty sure the last two didn't (although I definitely noticed enough buzzing in the office both times around to know something was up).
On the other hand, I've been busy since my co-worker left. I am the only full-time associate supporting 5 partners. I think they'd be in trouble without an associate. But it also means that I get all the crap jobs that the partners don't want to do, and that would typically be handed to a lower-level associate. I'm just not sure how I feel about this scenario. My firm is top-heavy and I don't know if there is enough room left for me to grow.
I guess I have some thinking to do, although I don't know that it even matters in this economy.
7/31/11
3 Weeks
Until school starts. Ugh. I am not ready for school to start. I love our summer pace. I don't have to nag the kids to get moving in the morning. I get to sleep in a little bit because I don't have to nag the kids to get moving in the morning. The sun is shining when I wake up. Traffic is sooooo much better--I can make it to the office in 30 minutes!
And when I come home, I don't have to spend my evenings working on homework or school projects. No soccer practice. No teacher meetings or concerts or PTA programs I have to attend.
And I get to spend more time with the kids in the evening. 8:30 bedtimes mean I only get to spend an hour or two with the kiddos during the week. During the summer, we may be going for a bike ride or going out for yogurt at 8:30.
I'm just not ready to get back to all that. But I spent most of yesterday buying school supplies. And beach stuff. At least we still have vacation to look forward to, our last hurrah of summer. We leave next Saturday for a week on the beach. And I'm gonna need it by the time I survive this week at work.
And when I come home, I don't have to spend my evenings working on homework or school projects. No soccer practice. No teacher meetings or concerts or PTA programs I have to attend.
And I get to spend more time with the kids in the evening. 8:30 bedtimes mean I only get to spend an hour or two with the kiddos during the week. During the summer, we may be going for a bike ride or going out for yogurt at 8:30.
I'm just not ready to get back to all that. But I spent most of yesterday buying school supplies. And beach stuff. At least we still have vacation to look forward to, our last hurrah of summer. We leave next Saturday for a week on the beach. And I'm gonna need it by the time I survive this week at work.
7/27/11
Making Headlines
Ok, maybe not headlines. But my client was featured in a national news story that was published this morning, regarding the case that I mention in this post.
We knew the article was coming. Shortly after the hearing a reporter started hounding me for a comment. Sadly, I had to decline since it is likely that my client will have to testify again and I didn't want to give the defendants any ammo to use against her. But the article was really nice, and painted my client in a good light.
Oh yeah, and I was mentioned too...for declining to comment. Still, it's my fist press mention. Another entry in the baby lawyer book.
We knew the article was coming. Shortly after the hearing a reporter started hounding me for a comment. Sadly, I had to decline since it is likely that my client will have to testify again and I didn't want to give the defendants any ammo to use against her. But the article was really nice, and painted my client in a good light.
Oh yeah, and I was mentioned too...for declining to comment. Still, it's my fist press mention. Another entry in the baby lawyer book.
7/26/11
I Love to Ride My Bicycle
DH took PS to a concert tonight, so it was just the twins and me. Despite the fact that the thermometer on my back porch was reading 109, I agreed to take a bike ride with them. Fortunately, DH just got a bike for his birthday, so I had one to ride. It's probably been 20 years since I spent any amount of time on a bike. (I'm 36--got a car when I was 16, haven't had a bike since. Yep, 20 years.) Fortunately, it's just like "they" say.
Well, except that the kiddos insisted I wear a helmet. I've never worn a bike helmet. The girls were baffled by this. It is beyond their comprehension that there was a time when people didn't wear bike helmets. So I wore the helmet (and it was dang hot).
I think I may need to get a bike of my very own. I forgot how much I missed cruising around the neighborhood. And it's nice that the kids are big enough that I have to worry about keeping up with them instead of the other way around. (The main reason I never got another bike--it just didn't sound like fun with little kids trailing behind at turtle speed.)
Not to mention the exercise factor. We weren't out very long because of the heat, but I was still feeling muscles I had forgotten about. And the bike is doc approved, since I have old lady bones.
Well, except that the kiddos insisted I wear a helmet. I've never worn a bike helmet. The girls were baffled by this. It is beyond their comprehension that there was a time when people didn't wear bike helmets. So I wore the helmet (and it was dang hot).
I think I may need to get a bike of my very own. I forgot how much I missed cruising around the neighborhood. And it's nice that the kids are big enough that I have to worry about keeping up with them instead of the other way around. (The main reason I never got another bike--it just didn't sound like fun with little kids trailing behind at turtle speed.)
Not to mention the exercise factor. We weren't out very long because of the heat, but I was still feeling muscles I had forgotten about. And the bike is doc approved, since I have old lady bones.
7/23/11
Double Digits
My twins turn 10 tomorrow. Which means that all my kids are now in double digits. Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday I was 9-months pregnant with twins. Or breastfeeding practically 24 hours a day. Or trying to figure out how I would ever survive three-year-old twins.
And now they are 10. They have become awesome people. And they are actually useful. SS makes the best fried eggs and iced tea in the world. TT just takes whatever the world throws at her and keeps right on rolling without a complaint.
And they are still sweet and cuddly and love their mom and dad. I still get about a million hugs and kisses a day from them. (PS would hardly give us a hug if her life depended upon it; she is not big on physical affection.) And when we watched tv together last night, SS curled right up next to me the whole time. I love that they still do this.
We bought them new big kid bikes for their birthday. With hand brakes and gears. And cell phones. (We were on the fence about that one.) They are getting big. I miss buying Little People. But we did get some Legos, one of the few toys we can buy anymore.
It has been weighing on me a lot lately how little time we have until all our kids go off to college and start their own lives. When I was young I NEVER wanted kids. But they are definitely the most awesome thing that has ever happened to me.
And now they are 10. They have become awesome people. And they are actually useful. SS makes the best fried eggs and iced tea in the world. TT just takes whatever the world throws at her and keeps right on rolling without a complaint.
And they are still sweet and cuddly and love their mom and dad. I still get about a million hugs and kisses a day from them. (PS would hardly give us a hug if her life depended upon it; she is not big on physical affection.) And when we watched tv together last night, SS curled right up next to me the whole time. I love that they still do this.
We bought them new big kid bikes for their birthday. With hand brakes and gears. And cell phones. (We were on the fence about that one.) They are getting big. I miss buying Little People. But we did get some Legos, one of the few toys we can buy anymore.
It has been weighing on me a lot lately how little time we have until all our kids go off to college and start their own lives. When I was young I NEVER wanted kids. But they are definitely the most awesome thing that has ever happened to me.
7/21/11
Feet and Anger
Took TT to the ortho today who said that her toe is NOT broken. She just has a bad sprain (her foot is still really swollen!). No more splint, no more crutches. Woot! She can ride her bike and go swimming again and, best of all, our beach vacation isn't screwed up. (Can you imagine a cast on the beach?)
He also hesitantly said that she could still go to the amusement park for her birthday this weekend. I'm a bit concerned about this, since she would now be walking on it all day. I had a bad sprain when the twins were about 10 months old. We went to Chicago a month later and I walked too much the first day and was miserable the rest of the trip because my foot hurt so much. That sprain took forever to heal and hurt a heck of a lot more than the fractures I had last summer.
And in other news I am mad at DH. We went out last night, so he picked me up from work, leaving my car in the underground parking garage. He dropped me off at 9:30 last night--right at the stairs to go into the garage (he couldn't drive into the garage because the pass was in my car). And then he left! Without making sure that nobody murdered me and that I actually came back out of the dark, empty parking garage. Who does that? Whenever I drop off DH, or anybody else, I always make sure that they are safely in their car and actually moving before I leave.
He thinks I am ridiculous for being angry. I think he is lacking in civility.
He also hesitantly said that she could still go to the amusement park for her birthday this weekend. I'm a bit concerned about this, since she would now be walking on it all day. I had a bad sprain when the twins were about 10 months old. We went to Chicago a month later and I walked too much the first day and was miserable the rest of the trip because my foot hurt so much. That sprain took forever to heal and hurt a heck of a lot more than the fractures I had last summer.
And in other news I am mad at DH. We went out last night, so he picked me up from work, leaving my car in the underground parking garage. He dropped me off at 9:30 last night--right at the stairs to go into the garage (he couldn't drive into the garage because the pass was in my car). And then he left! Without making sure that nobody murdered me and that I actually came back out of the dark, empty parking garage. Who does that? Whenever I drop off DH, or anybody else, I always make sure that they are safely in their car and actually moving before I leave.
He thinks I am ridiculous for being angry. I think he is lacking in civility.
7/17/11
Cooking Weekend
This was supposed to be a cooking and cleaning weekend, but it ended up more of a shopping and cooking weekend. Haven't made much progress on the cleaning, but at least I have a refrigerator full of food and a week's worth of meals in my freezer.
A commenter asked about recipes a few weeks ago, so I'll share what I did:
I brought home 3 lbs of chicken tenderloins and used 1/3 of it in Brown Butter Ravioli with Crispy Sage and the remaining 2/3 in Crock Pot Santa Fe Chicken. We had the Brown Butter Ravioli for dinner Saturday night (it was really good) and froze the Santa Fe Chicken (haven't tried this yet) for later in the week.
Today I browned 5 lbs of ground beef with a little onion and bell pepper, 2.5 lbs of bacon (use the oven!) and cut up a rotisserie chicken from Costco (a great cheat!). Most of the bacon and the chicken will be used on Monday and Tuesday to make Chicken Bacon Ranch Calzones and Garlic Chicken Farfalle (this is so unbelievably delicious). The rest of the bacon went into breakfast burritos that were frozen for later in the week.
I added spaghetti sauce to part of the ground beef to be used in Skillet Lasagna and spaghetti in the next week or two. I added refried beans (along with a little cumin, chili powder, onion powder and garlic) to another part to make burritos for lunch this week. (I really, really hate store-bought frozen foods for lunch). I have several more portions of ground beef stored in the freezer for later.
Tonight we had T-bone steaks with homestyle green beans and modified version of Crash Hot Potatoes.
I'll admit that this set of recipes isn't particularly healthy. The pasta dishes use lots of butter and cream. Also, I don't regularly buy bacon, so the number of bacon dishes is an anomaly. And the 5 lbs of ground beef will probably last for a month. We are also carb-heavy. That's always my weakness. I love carbs and the kids never gripe about pasta.
But I think cooking from scratch with real ingredients has got to be better than a bunch of over-processed foods. And we supplement with lots of fruits and veggies. And, most importantly, I can have dinner on the table in less than 15 minutes every night this week.
A commenter asked about recipes a few weeks ago, so I'll share what I did:
I brought home 3 lbs of chicken tenderloins and used 1/3 of it in Brown Butter Ravioli with Crispy Sage and the remaining 2/3 in Crock Pot Santa Fe Chicken. We had the Brown Butter Ravioli for dinner Saturday night (it was really good) and froze the Santa Fe Chicken (haven't tried this yet) for later in the week.
Today I browned 5 lbs of ground beef with a little onion and bell pepper, 2.5 lbs of bacon (use the oven!) and cut up a rotisserie chicken from Costco (a great cheat!). Most of the bacon and the chicken will be used on Monday and Tuesday to make Chicken Bacon Ranch Calzones and Garlic Chicken Farfalle (this is so unbelievably delicious). The rest of the bacon went into breakfast burritos that were frozen for later in the week.
I added spaghetti sauce to part of the ground beef to be used in Skillet Lasagna and spaghetti in the next week or two. I added refried beans (along with a little cumin, chili powder, onion powder and garlic) to another part to make burritos for lunch this week. (I really, really hate store-bought frozen foods for lunch). I have several more portions of ground beef stored in the freezer for later.
Tonight we had T-bone steaks with homestyle green beans and modified version of Crash Hot Potatoes.
I'll admit that this set of recipes isn't particularly healthy. The pasta dishes use lots of butter and cream. Also, I don't regularly buy bacon, so the number of bacon dishes is an anomaly. And the 5 lbs of ground beef will probably last for a month. We are also carb-heavy. That's always my weakness. I love carbs and the kids never gripe about pasta.
But I think cooking from scratch with real ingredients has got to be better than a bunch of over-processed foods. And we supplement with lots of fruits and veggies. And, most importantly, I can have dinner on the table in less than 15 minutes every night this week.
7/15/11
Chaos
I keep dreaming about wind. Last night I dreamed that I was walking through a courtyard and it was very windy. Another woman was walking with a big purse that was hanging open and the wind suddenly filled up her purse and lifter her into the air like a hot air balloon.
The night before I dreamed that we were traveling and stopped at a little shack in the middle of nowhere. We were stuck there for 3 days because it was so windy that the dirt stirred up by the wind impeded visibility to the point that all nearby roads were closed.
I think the wind dreams are symbolic of the chaos that has taken over my life.
Work
It's busy. That's a good thing. I am much happier when I am busy. But it is hectic busy. And I'm still a little frustrated by the monotony of my job.
Home
My house is a mess. There are baskets of clean laundry all over my bedroom. The rest of the house is generally messy. Our nanny is supposed to supervise the kids' chores and perform light housekeeping tasks. She's been slacking. But she is going off to college soon and only has another 6 weeks with us.
I think that we have decided not to replacing her. The kids really don't need a lot of supervision these days. PS turns 13 soon and is very mature and responsible. The biggest challenge will be getting kids to their activities, but we will talk to the neighbor to see if she is interested in helping out with this.
The good news is that I am testing out a new housekeeper next week. Hopefully having someone come in every week will help with the house-mess chaos.
Kids (and dog)
Bob is doing great. He is already back to chasing bunnies in the yard and running up and down the stairs.
Speaking of stairs, TT broke her toe walking down the stairs. I've broken lots of toes and don't usually consider it a big deal. But she broke the big one and it was hugely swollen and bruised half-way down her foot. So I took her to the doc this morning who put some funky splint-thing on it, gave her crutches, told her not to put any weight on it, and referred us out to an ortho. (Yes, this is the kid who broke her arm and has only been out of the arm splint for 6 weeks.)
She thinks having crutches is super cool. But she doesn't get how much this is going to make the rest of her summer suck. The splint she has now can't get wet. So no pool. And we have a fully paid beach vacation scheduled in 3 weeks! And her birthday is next week. She's fully expecting a new bike and to go to the Big Amusement Park. So if she gets a bike, she won't be able to ride it for a month. That sounds like a sucky birthday. And she will be totally bummed if we can't go to the Big Amusement Park.
Finances
DH's employer started a crazy new insurance plan this year, and health care costs are insane. Oh how I miss my PPO. I don't think it would be so bad in a regular year, but with all of TT's issues this year, it's ugly. But at least next year we'll have a better idea of how much to contribute to our FSA. We way underfunded this year because we did not fully understand how this new plan would work (his employer automatically funded the FSA, but we blew through that by April). Not to mention the ginormous vet bill that we just got, compliments of Bob.
It's not debilitating, just not well planned for and adding more stress.
I just want my kids and my dog to be well and my house to be clean. Is that too much to ask?
The night before I dreamed that we were traveling and stopped at a little shack in the middle of nowhere. We were stuck there for 3 days because it was so windy that the dirt stirred up by the wind impeded visibility to the point that all nearby roads were closed.
I think the wind dreams are symbolic of the chaos that has taken over my life.
Work
It's busy. That's a good thing. I am much happier when I am busy. But it is hectic busy. And I'm still a little frustrated by the monotony of my job.
Home
My house is a mess. There are baskets of clean laundry all over my bedroom. The rest of the house is generally messy. Our nanny is supposed to supervise the kids' chores and perform light housekeeping tasks. She's been slacking. But she is going off to college soon and only has another 6 weeks with us.
I think that we have decided not to replacing her. The kids really don't need a lot of supervision these days. PS turns 13 soon and is very mature and responsible. The biggest challenge will be getting kids to their activities, but we will talk to the neighbor to see if she is interested in helping out with this.
The good news is that I am testing out a new housekeeper next week. Hopefully having someone come in every week will help with the house-mess chaos.
Kids (and dog)
Bob is doing great. He is already back to chasing bunnies in the yard and running up and down the stairs.
Speaking of stairs, TT broke her toe walking down the stairs. I've broken lots of toes and don't usually consider it a big deal. But she broke the big one and it was hugely swollen and bruised half-way down her foot. So I took her to the doc this morning who put some funky splint-thing on it, gave her crutches, told her not to put any weight on it, and referred us out to an ortho. (Yes, this is the kid who broke her arm and has only been out of the arm splint for 6 weeks.)
She thinks having crutches is super cool. But she doesn't get how much this is going to make the rest of her summer suck. The splint she has now can't get wet. So no pool. And we have a fully paid beach vacation scheduled in 3 weeks! And her birthday is next week. She's fully expecting a new bike and to go to the Big Amusement Park. So if she gets a bike, she won't be able to ride it for a month. That sounds like a sucky birthday. And she will be totally bummed if we can't go to the Big Amusement Park.
Finances
DH's employer started a crazy new insurance plan this year, and health care costs are insane. Oh how I miss my PPO. I don't think it would be so bad in a regular year, but with all of TT's issues this year, it's ugly. But at least next year we'll have a better idea of how much to contribute to our FSA. We way underfunded this year because we did not fully understand how this new plan would work (his employer automatically funded the FSA, but we blew through that by April). Not to mention the ginormous vet bill that we just got, compliments of Bob.
It's not debilitating, just not well planned for and adding more stress.
I just want my kids and my dog to be well and my house to be clean. Is that too much to ask?
7/9/11
Awful Night
About 8:30 this evening we headed to the neighbor's house to water her plants while she is out of town. I told the girls to put Bob in the backyard before we left so he wouldn't try to run out the front door.
Bob was quite unhappy that his family was in the neighbor's yard while he was stuck in our yard, and was doing his best to ram his head through the fence. So we told PS to go back home and let him into the house. A few minutes later, her sisters followed. Just as DH and I were finishing up, TT ran back over to tell us that Bob had gotten out and was taking off down the street. PS and SS had followed, so DH took off running after them. I went to get the car, with SS in tow. (This isn't the first time Bob has taken off, and the best way to catch him is to convince him to take a ride in the car.)
As I reached the end of our block I caught a glimpse of SS standing at the edge of our neighborhood. Which borders a busy two-lane highway with a 55 mph speed limit. When I reached the highway I saw the girls and DH standing on one side screaming. It was hard to see what was going on in the road because it was dusk and the oncoming car headlights put everything into silhouette. My biggest fear at that moment was that one of my children would take off across the highway after the dog. Traffic was too heavy to pull onto the highway, so I just laid on the horn, hoping it would make the other cars slow down and pay attention.
And then the cars in both directions stopped and I saw DH and PS take off across the road. SS was still on the side opposite me. I pulled onto the highway and saw that Bob had been hit. I flipped a u-turn in front of the stopped cars--my top priority was to get SS into the car before she tried to cross the road, or a car came onto the shoulder and hit her. I walked down to where DH and PS were, and I could see that Bob was lying down but moving his head. Lots of other people had stopped and were out of their cars trying to help. (DH said later that some strange lady came over and started yelling at the kids who hit Bob. It wasn't their fault a big black dog came darting into traffic. And PS said that lots of other people were crying.) I yelled across the road that I would bring the car over (it was a few couple hundred feet away on the other side of the highway.)
Meanwhile, someone found a blanket, which was made into a makeshift gurney to carry Bob to the car. He looked to have a broken leg and was bleeding from his mouth. We loaded him into the back and DH called the vet. PS and SS, who had seen everything, were hysterical.
We headed to the vet's office, and she met us within just a few minutes. Bob was very calm in the car, and stood up when DH tried to lift him out of the car. In the vet's office he was panting heavily, but he was standing on his leg and wagging his tail. X-rays showed no breaks or internal injuries. He just has lots of road rash, swelling in one knee, and apparently bit his tongue. The vet sent him home with lots of pain killers and antibiotics.
It is awful seeing Bob hurt and the kids so inconsolable. They are all trying to blame themselves. (And yes, he should be better trained.) SS is sleeping on the couch tonight so that she can stay near him. But the worst of all was the very real fear that one of my kids was going to get killed on that very busy highway. It was like watching a movie in slow motion and there was nothing I could do.
It looks like Bob will be ok. We can clearly see how this situation could have been worse in so many different ways and know that we are lucky it wasn't worse. And we are so grateful to everyone who stopped to help. We wish there was a way to let them know that Bob turned out ok--especially the kids who hit him and got yelled at.
Bob was quite unhappy that his family was in the neighbor's yard while he was stuck in our yard, and was doing his best to ram his head through the fence. So we told PS to go back home and let him into the house. A few minutes later, her sisters followed. Just as DH and I were finishing up, TT ran back over to tell us that Bob had gotten out and was taking off down the street. PS and SS had followed, so DH took off running after them. I went to get the car, with SS in tow. (This isn't the first time Bob has taken off, and the best way to catch him is to convince him to take a ride in the car.)
As I reached the end of our block I caught a glimpse of SS standing at the edge of our neighborhood. Which borders a busy two-lane highway with a 55 mph speed limit. When I reached the highway I saw the girls and DH standing on one side screaming. It was hard to see what was going on in the road because it was dusk and the oncoming car headlights put everything into silhouette. My biggest fear at that moment was that one of my children would take off across the highway after the dog. Traffic was too heavy to pull onto the highway, so I just laid on the horn, hoping it would make the other cars slow down and pay attention.
And then the cars in both directions stopped and I saw DH and PS take off across the road. SS was still on the side opposite me. I pulled onto the highway and saw that Bob had been hit. I flipped a u-turn in front of the stopped cars--my top priority was to get SS into the car before she tried to cross the road, or a car came onto the shoulder and hit her. I walked down to where DH and PS were, and I could see that Bob was lying down but moving his head. Lots of other people had stopped and were out of their cars trying to help. (DH said later that some strange lady came over and started yelling at the kids who hit Bob. It wasn't their fault a big black dog came darting into traffic. And PS said that lots of other people were crying.) I yelled across the road that I would bring the car over (it was a few couple hundred feet away on the other side of the highway.)
Meanwhile, someone found a blanket, which was made into a makeshift gurney to carry Bob to the car. He looked to have a broken leg and was bleeding from his mouth. We loaded him into the back and DH called the vet. PS and SS, who had seen everything, were hysterical.
We headed to the vet's office, and she met us within just a few minutes. Bob was very calm in the car, and stood up when DH tried to lift him out of the car. In the vet's office he was panting heavily, but he was standing on his leg and wagging his tail. X-rays showed no breaks or internal injuries. He just has lots of road rash, swelling in one knee, and apparently bit his tongue. The vet sent him home with lots of pain killers and antibiotics.
It is awful seeing Bob hurt and the kids so inconsolable. They are all trying to blame themselves. (And yes, he should be better trained.) SS is sleeping on the couch tonight so that she can stay near him. But the worst of all was the very real fear that one of my kids was going to get killed on that very busy highway. It was like watching a movie in slow motion and there was nothing I could do.
It looks like Bob will be ok. We can clearly see how this situation could have been worse in so many different ways and know that we are lucky it wasn't worse. And we are so grateful to everyone who stopped to help. We wish there was a way to let them know that Bob turned out ok--especially the kids who hit him and got yelled at.
7/3/11
Have a Safe and Happy Holiday
We took off Friday afternoon and headed to Hometown for the holiday weekend. Our plan was to let our kids experience some of our favorite things about Hometown--something we never get to do because we always have a whirlwind of relative-visiting when we're here.
And so yesterday morning we went hiking in the fantastic canyon that we spent a good part of our teenage years in. We were thrilled to find that the kids loved it as much as we do. The twins apparently learned all about tracking when they were at Girl Scout camp, and so they had great fun pointing out tracks and informing us of whether they were opossum or raccoon or deer or horse or armadillo or coyote.*
Last night we took FIL to dinner and an outdoor theater production. (I think DH is done with musical theater for the year--this is our third production in as many weeks.)
And today we visited our grandparents and finished the day off with a barbecue at my dad's house with my brother and nieces. (We had to fit the mandatory visits in somewhere.) It was nice getting to hang out with my brother and his girls. I'm pretty sure my dad never anticipated having 7 granddaughters and it's a little crazy when they're all together, but also a lot of fun.
Tomorrow we head home. I think the kids had a great time (TT told me as much).
*DH's sibs went with us and I overheard this conversation between my 6-year-old niece and 3-year-old nephew:
Nephew: What's a coyote?
Niece: It's a kind of wild dog.
Nephew: Ooohhh, that sounds scary.
Niece: It is scary. They eat people.
And so yesterday morning we went hiking in the fantastic canyon that we spent a good part of our teenage years in. We were thrilled to find that the kids loved it as much as we do. The twins apparently learned all about tracking when they were at Girl Scout camp, and so they had great fun pointing out tracks and informing us of whether they were opossum or raccoon or deer or horse or armadillo or coyote.*
Last night we took FIL to dinner and an outdoor theater production. (I think DH is done with musical theater for the year--this is our third production in as many weeks.)
And today we visited our grandparents and finished the day off with a barbecue at my dad's house with my brother and nieces. (We had to fit the mandatory visits in somewhere.) It was nice getting to hang out with my brother and his girls. I'm pretty sure my dad never anticipated having 7 granddaughters and it's a little crazy when they're all together, but also a lot of fun.
Tomorrow we head home. I think the kids had a great time (TT told me as much).
*DH's sibs went with us and I overheard this conversation between my 6-year-old niece and 3-year-old nephew:
Nephew: What's a coyote?
Niece: It's a kind of wild dog.
Nephew: Ooohhh, that sounds scary.
Niece: It is scary. They eat people.
6/28/11
Crazy Week
This week is crazy week. PS is attending a half-day engineering camp on the campus where I attended law school. Meanwhile her sisters are attending lego robotics camp* in our little suburb, 25 miles away. And of course they both have to be at camp at 9:00 am. Fortunately, my sweet neighbor agreed to drop off the twins, since it is only 5 minutes from our house.
PS's camp is 5 minutes from my office. Which means that she spends the other half of her day with me at work. I spoke with Big Boss about this last week, and he was less than thrilled--concerned about having kids wandering through the office. Um, she's 12, going into 8th grade. She sits in a corner and reads or plays video games or watches movies on my laptop (exactly what she would be doing at home). I have never had my kids at the office before and don't intend to make it a habit. It's a one time event and a great opportunity for her. And nobody else in my office has kids, so no issues with setting a precedent.
So I took her anyway--and I'm pretty sure he hasn't even noticed that she's there.
Today we carpooled with DH so that we could go directly to the funeral visitation tonight (an hour away from home) and didn't get home until 9:00. Tomorrow is the funeral, which will be an all day event with lots of out-of-town relatives. But FIL will not be staying with us, so at least we don't have the added stress of overnight guests.
Friday we head to Hometown for the weekend (where we will be staying with FIL). There's a lot to do between now and then, both at work and at home.
*Yes we are geeks. The twins are also attending a science camp later this summer, further reinforcing our geekiness. The purpose of PS's camp is to get girls more interested in engineering--still a heavily male-dominated field. And interestingly, my girls were the only girls attending the sold-out lego robotics camp.
PS's camp is 5 minutes from my office. Which means that she spends the other half of her day with me at work. I spoke with Big Boss about this last week, and he was less than thrilled--concerned about having kids wandering through the office. Um, she's 12, going into 8th grade. She sits in a corner and reads or plays video games or watches movies on my laptop (exactly what she would be doing at home). I have never had my kids at the office before and don't intend to make it a habit. It's a one time event and a great opportunity for her. And nobody else in my office has kids, so no issues with setting a precedent.
So I took her anyway--and I'm pretty sure he hasn't even noticed that she's there.
Today we carpooled with DH so that we could go directly to the funeral visitation tonight (an hour away from home) and didn't get home until 9:00. Tomorrow is the funeral, which will be an all day event with lots of out-of-town relatives. But FIL will not be staying with us, so at least we don't have the added stress of overnight guests.
Friday we head to Hometown for the weekend (where we will be staying with FIL). There's a lot to do between now and then, both at work and at home.
*Yes we are geeks. The twins are also attending a science camp later this summer, further reinforcing our geekiness. The purpose of PS's camp is to get girls more interested in engineering--still a heavily male-dominated field. And interestingly, my girls were the only girls attending the sold-out lego robotics camp.
6/26/11
A Mother's Rant
To the lady at the table behind us at dinner last night: yes, I did give you an icy-cold death stare. Your baby screamed the entire time we were at dinner. It was not "fussing," it was screaming. And as much as you may have wanted a nice dinner out, so did every other diner and the restaurant and they were deprived of this opportunity because of your selfishness. Not to mention that your child was tired or hungry or otherwise ailed, and simply did not want to be there.
I understand that it may have been a long time since you have gone out to dinner. But that is one of the consequences of having children. Believe me, I have missed my share of hot meals, dinners out, movies, concerts and theater productions, because I had young children. And I have had to leave restaurants and church and shopping malls because I had babies who were uncooperative. It's no fun to have your meal wrapped up to take home, but that is what you do when your child is screaming at the top of her lungs. And now that my children are old enough to leave the house and act like civilized human beings, I really don't want to listen to your child scream. I've suffered through years of missing out on fun things because of my children--now its your turn. It won't last forever (unless you're the Duggar Family). Suck it up and realize that the world does not revolve around you and your adorable little bundle of screams.
To the lady who attempted to bring her one-year old to the theater last night: A one-year old is never, ever, ever going to sit through a theater production. One-year olds like to talk and play. They do not like to sit still for three hours and watch adults sing and dance on a stage 50 feet away. At least you figured this out early on and removed your child. But really...you're not going to be able to go to the theater for years unless you get a babysitter. Just save yourself the cost of the tickets and rent a DVD.
To the the adults who kept entering and leaving the theater in the middle of the show last night: unacceptable. I didn't let my 9-year olds leave in the middle of the act to go to the bathroom, but it is hard to explain that this is poor theater etiquette there were so many adults coming in and out. (It later appeared that these adults were the parents of children who had a very short spot at the end of the second act--which seems even more appalling to me. If you kid is in the show, you should know how an audience member should behave.)
To the adults who left candy wrappers in the floor of the theater: Disgusting. This is not a movie theater. Food is not even allowed in. How hard is it to pick up your own trash?
I understand that it may have been a long time since you have gone out to dinner. But that is one of the consequences of having children. Believe me, I have missed my share of hot meals, dinners out, movies, concerts and theater productions, because I had young children. And I have had to leave restaurants and church and shopping malls because I had babies who were uncooperative. It's no fun to have your meal wrapped up to take home, but that is what you do when your child is screaming at the top of her lungs. And now that my children are old enough to leave the house and act like civilized human beings, I really don't want to listen to your child scream. I've suffered through years of missing out on fun things because of my children--now its your turn. It won't last forever (unless you're the Duggar Family). Suck it up and realize that the world does not revolve around you and your adorable little bundle of screams.
To the lady who attempted to bring her one-year old to the theater last night: A one-year old is never, ever, ever going to sit through a theater production. One-year olds like to talk and play. They do not like to sit still for three hours and watch adults sing and dance on a stage 50 feet away. At least you figured this out early on and removed your child. But really...you're not going to be able to go to the theater for years unless you get a babysitter. Just save yourself the cost of the tickets and rent a DVD.
To the the adults who kept entering and leaving the theater in the middle of the show last night: unacceptable. I didn't let my 9-year olds leave in the middle of the act to go to the bathroom, but it is hard to explain that this is poor theater etiquette there were so many adults coming in and out. (It later appeared that these adults were the parents of children who had a very short spot at the end of the second act--which seems even more appalling to me. If you kid is in the show, you should know how an audience member should behave.)
To the adults who left candy wrappers in the floor of the theater: Disgusting. This is not a movie theater. Food is not even allowed in. How hard is it to pick up your own trash?
6/24/11
Long Week
So our kid-free week has come to an end. It was fun, but I am definitely too old for the going out every night thing. And I am so glad to have all my girls back. They have hardly stopped chattering (or eating!) since they got home.
But it's also been a dramatic week with my co-worker getting fired and DH's great-uncle passing away this morning. We visited his aunt and uncle earlier this week, knowing that the end was likely near, which brought memories of our last days with MIL. Because all of our side of the family is out of town, we will likely have company coming in for the funeral. Company meaning FIL and likely his wife. That is still a touchy issue (yes, I know some of my readers are critical of this.)
I guess I need to do some major grocery shopping and house cleaning (not to mention the disgusting camp laundry--thank god I don't have boys because 3 girls are gross enough).
And I have a spa appointment tomorrow morning. I have a GC that I have been sitting on since my birthday and it has to be used by the end of the month--this was the only time available when I finally called a couple of weeks ago. Not great timing with the kids just getting home and company in, but hopefully it will help me relax and deal with it all.
But it's also been a dramatic week with my co-worker getting fired and DH's great-uncle passing away this morning. We visited his aunt and uncle earlier this week, knowing that the end was likely near, which brought memories of our last days with MIL. Because all of our side of the family is out of town, we will likely have company coming in for the funeral. Company meaning FIL and likely his wife. That is still a touchy issue (yes, I know some of my readers are critical of this.)
I guess I need to do some major grocery shopping and house cleaning (not to mention the disgusting camp laundry--thank god I don't have boys because 3 girls are gross enough).
And I have a spa appointment tomorrow morning. I have a GC that I have been sitting on since my birthday and it has to be used by the end of the month--this was the only time available when I finally called a couple of weeks ago. Not great timing with the kids just getting home and company in, but hopefully it will help me relax and deal with it all.
6/22/11
Always look on the bright side of life
I was whistling this all morning after seeing a certain musical last night, although it's a bit cheerier that I feel.
My problem with being too slow at work has just resolved. My co-worker was fired yesterday. He was the only other full-time regular associate, so much of his work will likely be shifted to me until a replacement is found (which, if history holds true, could be a while).
My bosses took great care to explain to me that it was not a lay off and that my job is absolutely secure and that they could not anticipate a reason that they would ever need let me go because I am such a valuable asset to the firm. But while it was nice to hear high praise for my work, I felt terrible for my coworker. It wasn't really a shock, though, since I had been tasked with re-checking his work on several occasions.
He asked to talk to me after he found out, and the bosses agreed to this. And he asked what he could have done differently (I think he was truly shocked). I told him that if he wasn't getting feedback he needed to ask for it. You can only improve your work product if you know what the problem is. And sometimes you have to detect subtleties to know that there is a problem. (He knew I was re-doing one of his motions which should have been a bright red flag.)
He also complained that he didn't get enough input when he didn't know how to do something. We didn't talk much about this, but one thing I learned early in my career is that "I don't know, but I can figure it out" is a great answer. The key is that you have to be able to figure it out. He wasn't able to do that, and no senior partner wants to baby-step an associate through drafting a simple motion or discovery. You have to take the initiative to find a form or a book or someone a couple of years ahead of you who can point you in the right direction.
So, those are my bits of advice for young lawyers: be someone who can figure things out and be proactive in discovering your weaknesses.
My problem with being too slow at work has just resolved. My co-worker was fired yesterday. He was the only other full-time regular associate, so much of his work will likely be shifted to me until a replacement is found (which, if history holds true, could be a while).
My bosses took great care to explain to me that it was not a lay off and that my job is absolutely secure and that they could not anticipate a reason that they would ever need let me go because I am such a valuable asset to the firm. But while it was nice to hear high praise for my work, I felt terrible for my coworker. It wasn't really a shock, though, since I had been tasked with re-checking his work on several occasions.
He asked to talk to me after he found out, and the bosses agreed to this. And he asked what he could have done differently (I think he was truly shocked). I told him that if he wasn't getting feedback he needed to ask for it. You can only improve your work product if you know what the problem is. And sometimes you have to detect subtleties to know that there is a problem. (He knew I was re-doing one of his motions which should have been a bright red flag.)
He also complained that he didn't get enough input when he didn't know how to do something. We didn't talk much about this, but one thing I learned early in my career is that "I don't know, but I can figure it out" is a great answer. The key is that you have to be able to figure it out. He wasn't able to do that, and no senior partner wants to baby-step an associate through drafting a simple motion or discovery. You have to take the initiative to find a form or a book or someone a couple of years ahead of you who can point you in the right direction.
So, those are my bits of advice for young lawyers: be someone who can figure things out and be proactive in discovering your weaknesses.
6/19/11
Camp in the age of the internet
This morning I am tying up all of the last minute details before we send the kids off to camp. One of which is setting up an account so that I can email the girls at camp. You can't use regular email. You have to use the GS proprietary system that lets you send "bunk notes" that are printed off and delivered to the girls with the regular mail. Oh yeah, and you have to pay for this service. Messages start at $1 and go up by $1 per add on if you want to make it in color or add a picture or a word game. So one email can end up costing $3. And you have to buy credits for this service in $10 increments. Per kid. So I have to pay a minimum of $20 to email my kids at camp. Makes a postage stamp look like a bargain. (Not to mention I already went old school and hid little notes throughout their suitcases.)
This is a little irritating to me. Especially because I have been getting blast emails for the last two months encouraging me to buy a bunch of overpriced crap to be delivered to my kids while they are at camp. They are definitely playing the "show your kids you love them through material possessions" card. I didn't really think that was what GS was all about.
I think scouting is a great program, and I know that the money made off of these ventures goes back to the scouts, but I am not loving this particular fund raising mechanism.
Meanwhile, PS's camp is not allowing any electronics, either. (Can you imagine the number of cell phones and ipods that will be confiscated by the end of the week from 300 middle schoolers?) But they have set up a twitter feed so that the parents can see what is going on. So yesterday I joined the 21st century and set up a twitter account. I still don't really see the point of twitter, but maybe I'm just getting old. I'm following a few business, and it seems to me like I have just voluntarily signed up to be affronted with even more advertising. Why would I do this to myself?
However, a new social networking site that I LOVE is pinterest. I describe it as a visual bookmarking site that you can share with the world. Your "pins" are images/links that take you back to whatever you are pinning. I can spend hours on this new time-waster.
This is a little irritating to me. Especially because I have been getting blast emails for the last two months encouraging me to buy a bunch of overpriced crap to be delivered to my kids while they are at camp. They are definitely playing the "show your kids you love them through material possessions" card. I didn't really think that was what GS was all about.
I think scouting is a great program, and I know that the money made off of these ventures goes back to the scouts, but I am not loving this particular fund raising mechanism.
Meanwhile, PS's camp is not allowing any electronics, either. (Can you imagine the number of cell phones and ipods that will be confiscated by the end of the week from 300 middle schoolers?) But they have set up a twitter feed so that the parents can see what is going on. So yesterday I joined the 21st century and set up a twitter account. I still don't really see the point of twitter, but maybe I'm just getting old. I'm following a few business, and it seems to me like I have just voluntarily signed up to be affronted with even more advertising. Why would I do this to myself?
However, a new social networking site that I LOVE is pinterest. I describe it as a visual bookmarking site that you can share with the world. Your "pins" are images/links that take you back to whatever you are pinning. I can spend hours on this new time-waster.
6/18/11
Summer Camp
Tomorrow the twins leave for camp, and PS heads out on Monday. DH and I will be empty-nesters for a week, and we plan to take full advantage. We've already got tix to the theater, a baseball game and passes for the movie theater that serves booze (and mediocre food).
But getting ready for camp has become a major undertaking.
On Tuesday we were informed PS must have a one-piece swimsuit for camp. Do you know how hard it is to find a one-piece these days? Especially for a 12-year-0d trapped between kids and juniors sizes? She already has a modest tankini, but the half-inch of belly it shows might cause boys to be overcome with lewd and lascivious thoughts. (Can you tell she's going to church camp?)
So I took a two-hour lunch on Wednesday to peruse the frou-frou mall a block from my office. (Note to self: Do not go shopping on the day you wear your highest heels.) I would text pics of what I found, and PS would respond with "ughs". I came home with a suit she thought was "ok," but that ended up being too small. (This shopping challenge is complicated by the fact that PS has been volunteering with the stage crew of our local theater company from 7-11 every night. I rarely get home before 7, so there has been no chance to go shopping together.)
Thursday the kids were directed to pack while I was at work. I got home at 8, only to find that 4 out of the 5 pairs of shorts each twin had packed were too small. So we flew out the door to hit Old Navy before they closed at 9:00. Fortunately, they were running great sales and I was able to pick up 8 pairs of shorts, 2 bathing suits and a couple of t-shirts for about $100. Woot!
Unfortunately, we got home to find half of it didn't fit. Apparently the kids have grown a lot since last summer. So last night we repeated our expedition, this time trying on. Whew! At least the twins are packed. But PS still needs new shoes and a swimsuit and possibly a couple of pairs of shorts, so there will be more shopping today.
And then on Sunday, we make the 4-hour round trip to drop off the twins. Happy Father's Day--you're getting rid of the kids for a week!
But getting ready for camp has become a major undertaking.
On Tuesday we were informed PS must have a one-piece swimsuit for camp. Do you know how hard it is to find a one-piece these days? Especially for a 12-year-0d trapped between kids and juniors sizes? She already has a modest tankini, but the half-inch of belly it shows might cause boys to be overcome with lewd and lascivious thoughts. (Can you tell she's going to church camp?)
So I took a two-hour lunch on Wednesday to peruse the frou-frou mall a block from my office. (Note to self: Do not go shopping on the day you wear your highest heels.) I would text pics of what I found, and PS would respond with "ughs". I came home with a suit she thought was "ok," but that ended up being too small. (This shopping challenge is complicated by the fact that PS has been volunteering with the stage crew of our local theater company from 7-11 every night. I rarely get home before 7, so there has been no chance to go shopping together.)
Thursday the kids were directed to pack while I was at work. I got home at 8, only to find that 4 out of the 5 pairs of shorts each twin had packed were too small. So we flew out the door to hit Old Navy before they closed at 9:00. Fortunately, they were running great sales and I was able to pick up 8 pairs of shorts, 2 bathing suits and a couple of t-shirts for about $100. Woot!
Unfortunately, we got home to find half of it didn't fit. Apparently the kids have grown a lot since last summer. So last night we repeated our expedition, this time trying on. Whew! At least the twins are packed. But PS still needs new shoes and a swimsuit and possibly a couple of pairs of shorts, so there will be more shopping today.
And then on Sunday, we make the 4-hour round trip to drop off the twins. Happy Father's Day--you're getting rid of the kids for a week!
6/11/11
Loose Ends
1) I seem to have come out of my funk. Still don't know what is going on with my kid, though, since they had to rerun a bunch of her bloodwork and it takes forever to get results. But since she is acting perfectly normal these days, it's hard to believe that something is wrong.
2) We are not filing a grievance against Lawyer A. I do think his conduct was both despicable and unethical. But filing a grievance against an attorney is a very serious, career-altering move. I discussed it with my partners and we decided that since his conduct was recorded on the record and the judge admonished him in open court that this matter had been handled. My client is already stressed by being involved in these proceedings that she is not a party to and has little interest in getting involved in another mess by filing a grievance.
3) I'm still slow and bored at work. I was at a CLE yesterday and ran into an old law school friend. She asked what I was doing and if I liked it--and my response was "I'm bored." I couldn't even bring myself to couch it or tell a little white lie (although I am a terrible liar, anyway.) And then, one of the points made at the CLE was that if you are discontent, or worse, unhappy, you need to make a change because you only have one life and you need to get the most out of it. And a corollary point was made that very few good things in life happen without risk. I am taking this advice to heart and trying to figure out what to do about it.
2) We are not filing a grievance against Lawyer A. I do think his conduct was both despicable and unethical. But filing a grievance against an attorney is a very serious, career-altering move. I discussed it with my partners and we decided that since his conduct was recorded on the record and the judge admonished him in open court that this matter had been handled. My client is already stressed by being involved in these proceedings that she is not a party to and has little interest in getting involved in another mess by filing a grievance.
3) I'm still slow and bored at work. I was at a CLE yesterday and ran into an old law school friend. She asked what I was doing and if I liked it--and my response was "I'm bored." I couldn't even bring myself to couch it or tell a little white lie (although I am a terrible liar, anyway.) And then, one of the points made at the CLE was that if you are discontent, or worse, unhappy, you need to make a change because you only have one life and you need to get the most out of it. And a corollary point was made that very few good things in life happen without risk. I am taking this advice to heart and trying to figure out what to do about it.
6/7/11
We're going to Vegas
We just got notice that DH's employer is sending him to a conference in Vegas in the fall. And I think I will go with him. His conference runs Sunday night through Wednesday, so we could fly in together the Friday before, spend the weekend together, and I can fly back home on Monday morning.
We've been to Vegas once before, and I didn't really care for it. It just seemed so fake. And the cigarette smoke that permeated everything really inflamed my allergies. And I got tired of seeing boobies everywhere. And I'm too cheap to gamble.
So why the heck to I want to go back? Well, we really want to see the Beatles' LOVE show. And a weekend away in a nice hotel sounds pretty good. And a subsidized mini-vacation is always a good thing. (When the kids were little, they only time we got to go anywhere was when DH had a conference. Hence, the last visit to Vegas.) And now I know exactly what to expect going in and think that 2 full days is just enough time.
Yay--it's nice to have a little trip with DH to look forward to.
We've been to Vegas once before, and I didn't really care for it. It just seemed so fake. And the cigarette smoke that permeated everything really inflamed my allergies. And I got tired of seeing boobies everywhere. And I'm too cheap to gamble.
So why the heck to I want to go back? Well, we really want to see the Beatles' LOVE show. And a weekend away in a nice hotel sounds pretty good. And a subsidized mini-vacation is always a good thing. (When the kids were little, they only time we got to go anywhere was when DH had a conference. Hence, the last visit to Vegas.) And now I know exactly what to expect going in and think that 2 full days is just enough time.
Yay--it's nice to have a little trip with DH to look forward to.
6/6/11
Re: the last two posts
The judge signed the order granting the government's injunction at 9:30 Sunday night (the emergency injunction was to expire today). My client's testimony was cited by the court and clearly given a lot of weight. This was fantastic news for her, as all of the defendants worked hard to undermine her credibility during cross examination. And it assured her that her testimony had not been for naught.
6/4/11
A great day to be a lawyer
Despite my fury Thursday night, which had not dissipated much by Friday morning, the hearing on Friday went really well. From a law geek perspective, it was actually fun--and it's been a while since I've had fun while working.
My client was the key witness for a government agency in a civil suit involving many, many defendants represented by about 10 different law firms. Most of the lawyers were old white guys, several from very large and prestigious firms. A handful of them were there to meet with me why I arrived and convince me that I was wrong and that the judge would surely rule against me.
I let them know in no uncertain terms that I would fight any attempts to recall my client to the stand. The lawyer I had spoken with the night before (we'll call him lawyer A) was a total arrogant ass who probably wouldn't know the truth if it bit him in the ass. Lawyer A is not a biglaw lawyer, and I suspect his attempts to intimidate me were at least partially for show for the benefit his higher paid counterparts.
And then the government lawyer arrived and he was almost as furious as I was about Lawyer A's conduct and also let him know it.
When court finally started, the government lawyer introduced me to the court so that we could deal with the issue of my missing witness and whether she was still under subpoena. I told the court about the other attorney's conduct and explained that she was not there and that I did not believe that she was obligated to be there or to that she was still subject to the subpoena with which she had already complied, and that all parties had already had to opportunity to examine her.
Lawyer A attempted to favorably spin his conduct and then said that by telling my client not to comply with a subpoena, my conduct was equally inappropriate. The judge ignored Lawyer A's statement about me, and mildly admonished* Lawyer A for his conduct and ordered him to have no additional contact with my client. The court did not immediately rule on whether my client could or would be recalled to the stand, and wanted to hear from another witnesses first. (Which drew objection from Lawyer A, because he wanted my client to be at court just in case the court ruled in his favor.)
By the time the court took a break, Lawyer A decided that he didn't need my client after all and the court granted my request to formally release her from all outstanding subpoenas.
I have to admit that I am really proud of how I handled the whole situation. I got the desired result for my client, and stood up to bullies, and I presented a good, short argument to the court. Standing in that courtroom with a federal judge, a dozen or more lawyers, an above-average number of spectators (and probably press), I felt like LC versus the world. But I wasn't even nervous, because I knew that I was right.
I've come a long way since my first argument in court, where my knees were shaking so much I could barely stand up straight.
* Lawyer A's behavior was truly abhorrent for several reasons I have not mentioned.** I kept it short in front of the court, because my goal was to protect my client rather than implicate his professional conduct. I did not want the court to disregard my argument because I was just "throwing stones" at the other attorney.
**One of the things he told my client was that I had not been practicing for very long and probably wasn't used to practicing in federal court. How dare you implicate my professional capabilities to my client--especially when you're just making shit up. I'm admitted in every federal district in my state and I regularly practice in federal court. I'm the go-to girl in my firm for federal procedural issues, and I know the nuances in the local rules for the different districts.
My client was the key witness for a government agency in a civil suit involving many, many defendants represented by about 10 different law firms. Most of the lawyers were old white guys, several from very large and prestigious firms. A handful of them were there to meet with me why I arrived and convince me that I was wrong and that the judge would surely rule against me.
I let them know in no uncertain terms that I would fight any attempts to recall my client to the stand. The lawyer I had spoken with the night before (we'll call him lawyer A) was a total arrogant ass who probably wouldn't know the truth if it bit him in the ass. Lawyer A is not a biglaw lawyer, and I suspect his attempts to intimidate me were at least partially for show for the benefit his higher paid counterparts.
And then the government lawyer arrived and he was almost as furious as I was about Lawyer A's conduct and also let him know it.
When court finally started, the government lawyer introduced me to the court so that we could deal with the issue of my missing witness and whether she was still under subpoena. I told the court about the other attorney's conduct and explained that she was not there and that I did not believe that she was obligated to be there or to that she was still subject to the subpoena with which she had already complied, and that all parties had already had to opportunity to examine her.
Lawyer A attempted to favorably spin his conduct and then said that by telling my client not to comply with a subpoena, my conduct was equally inappropriate. The judge ignored Lawyer A's statement about me, and mildly admonished* Lawyer A for his conduct and ordered him to have no additional contact with my client. The court did not immediately rule on whether my client could or would be recalled to the stand, and wanted to hear from another witnesses first. (Which drew objection from Lawyer A, because he wanted my client to be at court just in case the court ruled in his favor.)
By the time the court took a break, Lawyer A decided that he didn't need my client after all and the court granted my request to formally release her from all outstanding subpoenas.
I have to admit that I am really proud of how I handled the whole situation. I got the desired result for my client, and stood up to bullies, and I presented a good, short argument to the court. Standing in that courtroom with a federal judge, a dozen or more lawyers, an above-average number of spectators (and probably press), I felt like LC versus the world. But I wasn't even nervous, because I knew that I was right.
I've come a long way since my first argument in court, where my knees were shaking so much I could barely stand up straight.
* Lawyer A's behavior was truly abhorrent for several reasons I have not mentioned.** I kept it short in front of the court, because my goal was to protect my client rather than implicate his professional conduct. I did not want the court to disregard my argument because I was just "throwing stones" at the other attorney.
**One of the things he told my client was that I had not been practicing for very long and probably wasn't used to practicing in federal court. How dare you implicate my professional capabilities to my client--especially when you're just making shit up. I'm admitted in every federal district in my state and I regularly practice in federal court. I'm the go-to girl in my firm for federal procedural issues, and I know the nuances in the local rules for the different districts.
6/2/11
Shaking with Fury
lI have somehow managed to become counsel for a nonparty witness in a federal case. I attended a hearing with her on Tuesday where she testified that she was represented by counsel and gave my name on the record. She was thoroughly examined for over two hours, and we left after her testimony because she was sequestered from hearing the rest of the proceedings.
I'm following the case on PACER and so I knew that the court had requested additional briefing and that another hearing was set for Friday. But nobody contacted me regarding her testimony and, based on the briefings, it did not appear that additional testimony from my client was necessary to resolve the outstanding issues.
And then, this afternoon, one of the parties contacted my client to ask if she would attend Friday's hearing. I told her that his attorney needed to contact me so that we could discuss it. No call. And the more I thought about it, the less inclined I was to allow my client to be put through the cross-examination ringer again.
I came home, had dinner with the kids, watched a movie with DH, and was heading to bed at 10:45 when I saw multiple missed calls and texts from my client starting at about 9:00 tonight. The party's attorney had been calling and texting her about appearing, and was threatening to have her arrested if she did not appear!
OMG, I have never been so angry at another attorney. I immediately called him (yes, at 11:00 tonight, because he was still texting my client when I finally talked to her) and told him to immediately cease all communication with her. He informed me that he is the president of the ethics division of our state bar and that he had committed no ethical breach. Bullshit. It took me all of 30 seconds to find the rule that expressly says you can't contact someone you know to be represented by a lawyer without the consent of the lawyer. Not to mention the rule that says you can threaten people with civil or criminal process unless you have a valid basis for it. Maybe I should have informed him that I got an almost perfect score on the MPRE.
And then he kept going on and on about his 20 years of experience and how [Judge's First Name] would issue a bench warrant the moment he asked for it and that my client was obligated to return to court or be in contempt. I told him that he was awfully confident.
Anyway, I'm meeting him at court in the morning, but my client will not be there. He's pretty peeved about it, but I'm ready to fight this battle. I don't respond well to unethical bullies, and I'll be happy to point out his transgressions to the court.
I'm following the case on PACER and so I knew that the court had requested additional briefing and that another hearing was set for Friday. But nobody contacted me regarding her testimony and, based on the briefings, it did not appear that additional testimony from my client was necessary to resolve the outstanding issues.
And then, this afternoon, one of the parties contacted my client to ask if she would attend Friday's hearing. I told her that his attorney needed to contact me so that we could discuss it. No call. And the more I thought about it, the less inclined I was to allow my client to be put through the cross-examination ringer again.
I came home, had dinner with the kids, watched a movie with DH, and was heading to bed at 10:45 when I saw multiple missed calls and texts from my client starting at about 9:00 tonight. The party's attorney had been calling and texting her about appearing, and was threatening to have her arrested if she did not appear!
OMG, I have never been so angry at another attorney. I immediately called him (yes, at 11:00 tonight, because he was still texting my client when I finally talked to her) and told him to immediately cease all communication with her. He informed me that he is the president of the ethics division of our state bar and that he had committed no ethical breach. Bullshit. It took me all of 30 seconds to find the rule that expressly says you can't contact someone you know to be represented by a lawyer without the consent of the lawyer. Not to mention the rule that says you can threaten people with civil or criminal process unless you have a valid basis for it. Maybe I should have informed him that I got an almost perfect score on the MPRE.
And then he kept going on and on about his 20 years of experience and how [Judge's First Name] would issue a bench warrant the moment he asked for it and that my client was obligated to return to court or be in contempt. I told him that he was awfully confident.
Anyway, I'm meeting him at court in the morning, but my client will not be there. He's pretty peeved about it, but I'm ready to fight this battle. I don't respond well to unethical bullies, and I'll be happy to point out his transgressions to the court.
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