Strange day

I emailed in that I had an appointment and would be late coming into the office. I left the "appointment" part vague and ambiguous, as I always do, which enables it to cover a host of personal issues.

My plan was to drive to my office, park at the top of my parking garage where I would get decent cell phone reception, and take the call there so that I could immediately go to work afterward.

Thank god it was a phone interview. 10 minutes before the interview was scheduled, I started having hot flashes, clamminess and cramping. No, it wasn't nerves--I think it was a stomach bug or food issue. Anyway, I made it through the interview, but turned around and went right back home because I was not fit to be in the company of other human beings.

Who knows what my bosses though, first with the mystery appointment, then calling in sick altogether. Fortunately, it seems to have passed quickly and I was feeling much better by late afternoon.

Anyway, the interview went very well. I already have an in-person interview scheduled for next week. I'm kind of shocked, considering how poorly my interviews usually go. I liked what I heard and think the change would be positive. My only reservation is that I would be focusing on a single practice area, whereas now I get a pretty decent variety of cases. If I had to name my favorite practice areas, this probably wouldn't make the top 5 list--but I have had a couple of cases of this genre and I don't dislike this area of law.

The Guilt

So I have a phone interview scheduled tomorrow at 10:00. Which is a pretty inconvenient time as far as not interrupting my work day goes. I'm not quite sure how to handle it. I can 1) go to work and then disappear for an hour to do the interview; or 2) just go into work and say I had an appointment.

I am pretty sure somebody will notice if I try to disappear for an hour--Big Boss's secretary sits right outside my door--so he spends a good deal of time right outside my door (which is why I can't just take the call in my office in the first place.)

But I just feel so dishonest saying that I have an appointment--like they'll know what's going on. Not to mention that I will have to create another mystery appointment if they actually like me and want to do a real interview. And I'm pretty sure Big Boss would fire me on the spot if he caught a whiff that I was looking elsewhere.

And then there is the guilt. Despite my unhappiness, I feel this incredible pressing guilt just for looking at other jobs--and the thought of actually leaving makes it worse. Maybe its narcissistic, but I feel like I have the most knowledge of several of my cases and I think it will be tough to get someone else up to speed. And I feel so guilty at the though of leaving my firm in a bind--because I know that we are so incredibly busy right now. And I am sort of attached to certain cases--although there are a few that I will happily leave behind.

But something has got to give. I billed 225 hours last month and I am already on track for a repeat performance. That is too damn much. And I don't sleep anymore. I wake 50 times a night worried about my cases, or something I missed, or one of the 5000 things I still need to do, or whether I made a mistake that is going to get me fired (not that I screw up that often, but a number of firings (not layoffs) at my firm have unnerved me ).

Anyway, I'll do the interview and we'll just have to see what happens from there.

Big Brother is Watching

So today the IT dude cornered me in my office and said, "Did you tell [paralegal] that it was ok to go on Facebook."

"Um, well, I told him to do a Google search on a couple of people that I am trying to find, and I mentioned that they might pop up on MySpace or Facebook."

"Well, we aren't supposed to use Facebook."

"Well it's not like he was just surfing. We are trying to locate witnesses and I told him to do it. Sometimes you end up on Facebook or MySpace. I was just Googling the guy I deposed this morning, and my search took me to Facebook."

"Well, not everybody uses Facebook for searches--they are clicking on links and watching videos. And we sent out an email about not going on Facebook."

"This was not the case with [paralegal]. I told him to do the search, and I will defend him to the powers that be if necessary. By the way--how do you know he was on Facebook--are you monitoring our internet activity?"

"Yes--we see what sites you visit and how long you are there."

Nice. This doesn't surprise me, but it does piss me off. I don't even do anything that should worry me on my work computer--and it still feels like an invasion of privacy. And I know they have every right to do what what they want, but it just feels icky.

Life is grand . . . really

I stayed home from work yesterday because TT woke up with a sore throat and fever. The doc confirmed my suspicion that it was strep. She has consistently had a temperature above 102, despite the constant rotation of Tylenol and Motrin.

TT woke up vomiting at 2:00 a.m. And her temperature had spiked to 104.8. So we medicated her again and gave her a warm bath to more quickly reduce her temperature. (My kids always have really high temperatures when they are sick, so I did not freak out too much.) I kicked DH to the couch and moved TT to my bed so that I could keep an eye on her. And of course got no sleep--that kid snores like a freight train.

Then, today DH took the Behemoth in for an inspection ($39). And left $700 later. We'd considered trading it in a month or so ago because it is getting up in years and mileage, but decided that since it was running well and I really like it, we would just hang on to it. Now I remember why we were thinking of getting a new car.

So, work sucks + 12K to the IRS + sick kid + $700 in car repairs = this week has been freakin' fantastic.

Holey Moley

I finally got around to doing our taxes last night. I've always done our taxes--even when DH was doing a lot of contract work and we were taking a home office deduction. And we have only owed taxes once--even though each year we increased our withholdings to avoid a refund.

I knew going in that this year would be different. For starters, our income doubled--so I was pretty sure that we were going to jump into a new tax bracket. And I was contract for the first 2.5 months of the year-so I knew we would owe for that plus the amounts DH earned for contract work (he usually builds a couple of websites a year for small businesses.)

But I was not prepared to owe $12K.

Apparently our new income means losing the child tax credit, and any deduction for student loan interest (which is capped at $2500 anyway, I paid more than 4x that!) That is what is killing me--the only reason that I have a high income is because I have student loans out the wazoo!

And our mortgage interest and deductions for taxes barely made a dent in the amount owed. Apparently the government wants me to quit paying on my student loans and buy a much larger house if I want to reduce my taxes.

Anyway, I hope that I have screwed something up. For the first time ever, I am paying someone to do my taxes. I hope that they can at least find enough additional deductions to pay for themselves! And that they can tell me what I need to do next year to avoid a repeat scenario.

Throwing my hat in the ring again

I met with a recruited today. She has a specific position in mind for me, and I think our meeting went well, but we'll see. I am really trying not to get my hopes up, which you will understand if you were around back when I was job-hunting the last time around.

The job is pretty much what I do now, although a bit more particularized. But their hourly requirement is 160--and supposedly it's a true 160 and not the 170-but-we-really-want-to-see-200 that I am dealing with right now. Anything above = extra bonus. It is about a 5% pay increase--so not much, but worth moving for when combined with a better working environment and more reasonable billing requirements. And my googling tells me that the better working environment is not just recruiter-hype--this place has been named on a couple of "best places to work lists."

Anyway, like I said, we'll see. I am notoriously bad at interviews and after the horrible, terrible, awful, no good job-hunting experience that I had coming out of law school, I don't really have any expectation that the first apple I bite will be the magic one.

Today is better

I spent most of yesterday in a funk--partially out of exhaustion and mostly because of my job situation. But I fiddled with my resume and contacted a couple of recruiters who had contacted me in the past unsolicited.

One of them emailed back this morning and said that she had several positions that might work for me. Just the slightest hint of an opportunity filled me with hope and made my day better. I don't think I realized how much my job was beating me down until it all came to a head this week.

She asked for a contact number and I sent it, along with instructions regarding the best time to call me. Because Big Boss hovers outside my door anytime I am on the phone or someone is in my office. Last week he came in and started giving me instructions while I was on the phone with one of our corporate clients! (He has also instructed me not to have conversations with particular associates and staff members--I wasn't kidding about the jealous boyfriend thing.)

Too far

I officially hate my job. I love what I do, and I'm good at what I do. But the environment in which I work is toxic, and it has finally gotten to me. I haven't posted about this before in case my anonymity was blown, but at this point, I just don't care.

The turnover in my firm is astronomical. It is no secret in the local legal community that my boss is particularly difficult to work for. But I have been floating along because my boss seems to like me and his tirades are generally directed elsewhere. Still, the entire office is on pins and needles when he is present and breathes a huge sign of relief when he is out.

I am the only associate working on the majority of Big Boss's and Partner's cases. There are a couple of new associates, but they work exclusively on one big case. So I get to work on everything else. I have been incredibly busy lately, because several of our cases are ramping up for summer trial settings and we have a couple of new cases that we are trying to get a handle on. I had three significant motions that required responses within a 1 week period.

Big Boss got PO'd with me because I didn't have one motion, with a 12-day deadline, turned around quickly enough to send to the client before filing (it was complete on a Friday and due on a Wednesday). Two days later, Partner was PO'd because I had not completed what turned out to be a 15-page privilege log that required the review of two boxes of documents, 3 days before the deadline. And in the middle of all of this, Big Boss was in my office every 5 minutes giving me inane tasks that could have been done by his secretary more quickly and just as effectively. Neither one seems to have a clue how much I am doing--even though both have asked and I honestly told them that I can't take anything else on and still make my deadlines.

Part of the problem is that Big Boss freaks out if I work on a project that is not exclusively his. He will then come and load me up with stupid stuff for his cases. A few weeks ago, Partner was called out of town and was unable to attend a scheduled meeting with our consulting expert. I was to take the meeting, along with another attorney who was only tangentially involved with the case. When I told Big Boss that I had a meeting that day he said, "We'll I don't think you'll be in that meeting, because I need you to meet with me during that time." After he had just given a 4-hour time frame of his availability, only one of which would have been consumed by my meeting.

Oh, but here's the kicker...15 minutes before my meeting with the expert, Big Boss disappears. He finally reappears an hour later, eating an ice cream cone. And then another hour later, he cancels his meeting. So, there was absolutely no reason in the entire world that I couldn't have met with our consulting expert. How whacked is that? I felt like I was dealing with a jealous boyfriend. And the other Partners just said, "Oh, well, that's just how he is."

Then, he tried to get me to agree in writing that I would put in 200 hours this month--because I only billed 175 last month and that was too low. (Umm, no, not doing that.) Are you freaking kidding me? When I was hired I was told that there were no billing guidelines, but to try too hit 170. I usually average 180. I wouldn't have accepted this position for this pay if I were expected to bill 200 hours every month. I will do what is required to meet my deadlines (and it looks like I will hit 200 this month anyway), but I am not going to do it in perpetuity.

And then yesterday, I got a call from the school nurse that SS wasn't feeling well. I decided to go pick her up instead of calling the nanny because I had already put in at least 50 hours this week, everything I had planned for the rest of the day could be done from home, and I hadn't seen the kids all week.

I went to tell Partner that I was taking off and he gave me the evil eye. Even another associate commented on it. He has 4 kids--and a wife who stays at home. Guess he doesn't have to deal with kid stuff. Ignoring the evil eye, I was packing up to head out when I got a call from the receptionist to meet Big Boss up front in a conference room. I had no idea what for.

It turned out that he wanted me to sit in on a meeting with a new client. And I had no opportunity to tell him that I was on my way out. Fortunately, about 10 minutes into the meeting he sent me out to have a copy made. I was able to call DH and have him deal with the SS situation.

But the whole ordeal left me feeling like the loser-mom of the year. I never play the kid card. My kids have been remarkably healthy this year, and I haven't missed any time from work because of them. There was no reason for the silent, but obvious, flak from Partner.

Part of the reason that I wanted a professional career is to have some modicum of flexibility over my schedule. The majority of what I do, I can do from home so it shouldn't be a big deal to take off early on a Friday to deal with a sick kid. But this is one of those firms that insists on face time--if you're not at your desk you must not be working. (Big Boss's secretary can barely leave her desk. He actually got her a scanner so that she doesn't have to leave to make copies. I expect a port-a-potty next.)

I am so frustrated with my job right now. I put in 110%, but I am not willing to turn my whole life over to my job. The only night this week I saw my kids before bedtime was Friday. I am not cool with that. But apparently Partner and Big Boss think I should be working more. I can't complain about having too much to do if I'm not putting in 200 hours/month.

So my plan for this weekend (in addition to drafting a cross-claim, an MSJ, 2 affidavits to support the MSJ, 2 client reports, and discovery responses) is to update my resume and start the whole job search all over again. Of course, this is not the ideal climate to be job-hopping, but I have too. I'm generally a tough cookie with no tolerance for whiners, but this week has brought me to tears (silently, in the bathroom). No job has ever done that before--and I've had some really crappy jobs.

Weekend Business

This weekend has been busy, but not overly hectic. Lounged for a bit yesterday morning, then decided to sort through the girls' dressers to evaluate the need for new spring clothes and weed out the outgrown, faded and holey clothes that they always manage to wear whenever I am not around to object.

Half their jeans have holes in the knees, so I decided to cut them off into shorts and capris. Of course, I didn't want plain old cutoffs--so I headed out to buy fabric to make ruffles and ribbon for trim. I turned one pair into the cutest skirt for the twins using this guide. Making the skirt was a snap, but it took a full hour to rip the seams out of the jeans. I added a ruffle to the bottom using pink fabric with black polka dots and added a matching ribbon belt. Freakin' adorable.

All three girls were invited to a birthday party last night, so DH and I got to go out to dinner sans kiddos. We went to a new Mexican place and got a table on the patio overlooking the lake right at sunset. It was nice. I may have had more margaritas than necessary--but only because the waiter brought by a free one that didn't have a home. Who am I to turn down a free margarita?

Took the kids to Disney on Ice this afternoon. You've got to respect someone who can twirl another skater over his head while dressed like a lion. It was a nice girlie afternoon. (I could only get 4 tix--but I think DH was relieved.)

I need to look at some work stuff--but I am obviously delaying with this pointless post. I've been going 90 miles an hour for the last few weeks, and I really need a break. Unfortunately, now is not the time, because I have deadlines that would be impossible to meet if I took any time off. And I do appreciate my position--I know that there are many, many lawyers right now who wished they had the problem of too much to do.

Nope. I don't have a competitive streak

Is it perverse that I get a thrill when I get to draft a response that pummels the other side? Really, it doesn't happen all that often. Generally there are not-so-clear cut issues that have to be craftily argued. And while I enjoy the challenge of the craftily argued motion, it is really more fun to pick apart the other side's motion apart and hammer them into the ground. Or maybe it's only fun when opposing counsel has been especially uncooperative.

I have drafted two such responses this week. The first was a response to a motion filed by a truly incompetent lawyer. He's a solo, he hasn't been practicing very long and I don't think he generally practices litigation. He is clearly not familiar with the federal rules and has never even glanced at the local rules.* I might feel sorry for him for getting in over his head, except that he he has made a number of gaffes that lack of experience can't excuse, and his client is paying for them. I think he has just realized that he dug himself into a hole, and is now desperately trying claw his way back out. Unfortunately, I think his hole is just getting deeper.

The second response is to a motion filed by a large local firm. I'm pretty sure that a first-year drafted the motion, which shouldn't be a problem, but the partner overseeing him dropped the ball. Once again, a basic procedural rule was violated, so that his motion cannot be granted. At all. I don't know if it was unfamiliarity with the rules or just an oversight, but somebody screwed up. I do feel bad for the young lawyer that will probably get blamed--he is a nice guy. But these guys have been very uncooperative. And even without the screw-up, I probably could have defeated the motion.

*Advice for young lawyers: Always get a copy of the local rules--especially in federal court. They are generally available online, unless you are in a tiny district out in the boonies. The federal district in which my case is pending has lengthy local rules--some of which modify the federal rules. And local rules contain info like page limits, filing requirements, mediation requirements and other information to keep you from harming your own case.

You can be a carnie!

That's what PS said to me as I was standing in the bathroom complaining that I was growing a beard. (Seriously--why didn't anyone tell me that I would start turning into a man once I turned 30?)

My kids are growing into real people--with senses of humor that are can be appreciated by someone over the age of 12. Although I miss the cuddly sweetness of their baby and toddler years, it is fun to watch them grow into smart, funny people.

A couple of weeks ago I had to take the twins to a birthday party out in the boonies on a Friday night. I gave my GPS to my inlaws, so I had to go old school with the Google maps. I called PS on my way home from work and she got on Google maps and found what I needed because we were going to have to leave again the second I got home. And then, once we were in the car and realized that we left the maps at home, she called DH and took down directions from him while I was driving. I told her that I was so amazed that she had developed from this sweet but useless little baby blob into an actual helpful person who could figure things out.

I have to say, I think I made some pretty amazing little people.

Because y'all are always so helpful with this kind of thing . . .

My paralegal's wife is having their first baby tomorrow. What should I get them? (And don't say a gift card--I know that is the obvious answer, but I'd like to go more personal. (And yes, I get the irony of asking complete strangers to help me pick out a personal gift for another complete stranger.))

Apparently I looked like crap today

Because at lest 4 people asked me what was wrong. The last one informed me that I have ginormous black bags under my eyes. Indeed, I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror later in the day and it was not pretty.

It's true that I haven't been sleeping well. I keep managing to wake earlier and earlier every morning--despite the time change. I occasionally resort to sleeping pills, which help me sleep sounder, but do nothing to solve the early waking.

It is totally stress. I am barely keeping my head above water at work. In the last two weeks I have had two motions to compel, a motion for summary judgment, a written demand and two motions to quash to which I have to respond. And that is in just 3 of my cases--there have been a bazillion smaller issues popping up in all of my other cases that are keeping me from handling these big issues. And I got about 5 new cases--one with a bizarre issue involving the federal government that I really need to spend time on.

On top of all this, the environment at work is getting, um strange . . . well stranger. Not willing to tell all, but let's just say I have had lots of Anonymous Lawyer-esque experiences lately. Definitely not helping the sleeplessness or the stress.

In case you were wondering . . .

both salt and baking soda render nearly instant death to marigolds. I think we've discovered a new eco-friendly weed killer. Although, of course, weeds would never be as easy to kill as marigolds.

Hmmm, maybe I need to pot some dandelions and see what happens. Too bad DH just put weed 'n feed on the lawn.

Busy Sunday

Woke up this morning and started making a chore list for my new nanny/housekeeper. Because she keeps doing stuff like cleaning out the kids' closets while ignoring things like making the kids pick up their books from the middle of the living room floor and loading the dishwasher. I like her and I hope that everything will work out if I give her a little (ok, a lot) more direction.

Picked up around the house a bit and paid some bills.

The twins have a science fair project that has to be related to Earth Day. I really wanted to do something with worm composting, so we went out looking for worms. No luck finding worms and they are $30/lb on the internet, so we decided to switch gears. SS bought 3 tomato plants, and we are going to have one control, play Foo Fighters to one and read to the other to see which grows the best. TT bought a six-pack of marigolds and we are going to water them with tap water, baking soda water, sugar water and salt water to see which grows best. Sounds easy enough, but we have spent the last two hours setting up our experiments and recording initial observations.

There are certain times when having twins is a PITA* (most of the time it rocks!) One of those times is when we have to do school projects times 2. I don't want to cop out and let them do the exact same thing, so we always have to come up with two different projects. I think the science fair project is a great way to spend time with the kiddos--but it is very time consuming to have to set up two different projects at once.

And PS is leaving for a 3-day outdoor-education camp with her class tomorrow. She has supposedly been packing, but when I asked her to show me the clothes that she is taking, she had picked out her nicest jeans and plaid shorts and polos that look more suitable at boarding school than camp. Oh, and half the clothes she packed are dirty--arrggghhh. So now we are frantically doing laundry to get her packed. How is this possible? I think I was packed 3 weeks ahead of time whenever I went to camp!

I have some work projects that I need to take a look at, but so far my day has been consumed with kid stuff. But it's ok-I've been working a lot lately and the kids needed the mommy time. I'm sure missing that lost hour, though.



*The other times it is a PITA to have twins is when the work together for evil. Like when they were toddlers and somehow managed to always turn on their light after bedtime, even though the switch was at least 2 feet out of reach, and there was nothing in their room that they could use as a tool to reach it. I think that one was standing on the other's back, but I will never know for sure.

Just funny

Funniest Courtoons evah . . .

This one is my fave:
I may or may not get clocked on a regular basis for failing to define every.freaking.term in a document.

And this one is a very close second because it so accurately portrays my life:

Oh yes, it's Monday!

Started out yelling at SS for not turning in her schoolwork on time and pulling bad grades.

Then went to grab my wool coat that had just come back from the cleaners and clearly had not been cleaned, despite the fact that they charged me $12 to clean it. So I was pretty grumpy already.

Then seconds after I turn out of my neighborhood onto the highway I see something go flying off the hood of my car. And I realized instantly that it was a box of screws. DH had been hanging some things for me over the weekend, and when he went to return his tools to the garage, he managed to leave a box of screws and his level on the hood of the Suburban.

I circled back through the neighborhood to assess the damage--yes the entire box had dumped out, but, fortunately, they were generally contained to the shoulder.

Since the mess was on the side of the road, I went ahead and took the girls to school (who were now seconds away from being late) and noticed a cop right across the street from the school. I pulled in next to the cop and explained the situation. I told him that I had no problem cleaning up the mess, but I didn't want to get run over while doing it. (The speed limit is 55 and cars often drive much faster.) He said he would check it out, and I ran home to get a shop broom.

(Oh yeah, there was also a phone call to DH somewhere in there where I might have uttered loudly a few choice words.)

Anyway, I got back to the highway and met the cop with the broom. He made me stand out of the way while he swept up all of the screws. He was really very nice to me, which I genuinely appreciated.

Finally made it to work to find that both of my bosses who were supposed to be out of town all week were already hard at work in their offices thanks to the snowstorms on the east coast. (OK, I actually knew that they weren't leaving town--but I usually beat them into the office.)

From that point, the day had nowhere to go but up. I almost missed a deadline, which left me busy, but I didn't get chewed out about it. (Yes, my job is to make sure all of our deadlines are met in every case that I work on. That freaks me out a little bit sometimes.) I saw the deadline popping up on my calendar last week, but thought it was an old one that hadn't been taken off the calendar when a new scheduling order was entered. Nope--it was from the new scheduling order (that I drafted!) Oops. But I got it taken care of and all is well.

And my bosses were exceptionally nice to me today (and they didn't even hear the screw story). Partner, who was out of town last week when some pretty big fires started popping up, told me that he was glad he had somebody he could trust to take care of things when he wasn't around.

"I'm glad Mommy's not a hamster and that she didn't eat [TT]."

The kids were being a little irritating while I was making dinner tonight, so I teased, "You know, some species eat their young."

TT said, "Yeah, Jenna got a hamster for Christmas and it had babies and some of them had stuff wrong with them so it ate them!"

So SS said, "So since the door to TT's heart doesn't close all the way*, if we were hamsters Mommy would have eaten her. I'm glad mommy's not a hamster and that she didn't eat [TT]."

I replied, "Yeah, but I love TT so much that even if I was a hamster I wouldn't have eaten her."

Yeah, my family's kinda weird.

* TT has pulmonary valve stenosis. It is very mild and her doc doesn't anticipate that it will cause her any problems, but it does require annual visits to the cardiologist and antibiotics before dental work.

The lawyers who make a bad name for the rest of us

I just read the sleaziest most unprofessional demand letter that I have ever seen. It was dripping with sarcasm (it actually included the term "gee willakers") and personal attacks. My clients were called despicable, lazy, ignorant, stupid, liars and the list goes on. These attacks were directed at individual employees of my corporate client.

I am furious. This case involves a freak accident--no intentional acts or gross negligence. And many of those who were attacked weren't involved at all. I know my client will be truly affected by the nasty letter drafted by sleazy attorneys. They certainly could have drafted their demand and presented their case without the sarcasm and personal attacks.

Maybe I should have expected as much. This is from a T.V. lawyer--you know one of the ones in the late night commercials with a nickname like "The Bully." And he was a total jerk in the depositions--literally making up questions with absolutely no basis in fact e.g. "Isn't it true that [insert crazy-ass statement pulled from the clear blue sky here]".

And this isn't a dig a Plaintiffs' lawyers. I work with Plaintiffs' lawyers every single day. And we get demand letters in most of our cases. NONE have ever been so unprofessional. The crap that is in this letter is why people think lawyers are assholes.

What does it say about me . . .

that the only Oscar-nominated movies that I have seen are the animated ones?

Pictoral evidence of the chaos that is my life.

We dropped a particularly large load off at the cleaners this morning and I guess DH didn't bother to look through it to see what he was taking.

I can't imagine what the people at the dry cleaners thought--hopefully this happens all the time.

It doesn't look like they charged me for the bra,but it was noted on the ticket. And is nice that they took the time to hang it up.

Life stuff

So my hearing was more of a pretrial conference than a hearing. The judge wasn't even there. I met with the ADA, and got deferred adjudication, which is all I really wanted.

And I made my nanny mad today because I informed her that I was cutting back from 5 days a week to 3 days a week. The reasons were multiple. She is very dependable and the twins love her like a grandmother. But she clearly favors the twins and does not get along with PS.

When she needed a week off last month I was left scrambling for child care, but came up with an awesome sitter. She is a college student and all the girls really liked her. She is definitely more active with them. And she is willing to help out with the housework. That is really the clincher. I need someone who can help out with the house and our current nanny isn't interested in doing housework. And it is more economically feasible to have someone who does child care and house work than to have two separate people. So new girl will come in two days a week, help out with the house and watch the girls.

And current nanny is PO'd. I understand her frustration, I would be irritated, too. But I told her that I have to do what is best for my family, and this is it.

There's not a prosecutor

I forgot to add the funniest part to my rant in the last post. When I called the court clerk today I asked if I could find out the name of the prosecutor handling the case. She replied, "there isn't a prosecutor. The district attorney handles the case."

What have I gotten myself into now?

I have a pretrial hearing in the morning. For my own speeding ticket. Yeah, I should have just 1) paid the darn thing; or 2) hired another lawyer to take care of it (seriously, though, who are the lawyers who go through law school to defend traffic tickets?). I couldn't take defensive driving because it hasn't been a year since my last speeding ticket. And I couldn't get deferred adjudication over the phone--although that is what I am hoping for in the morning.

I'll admit that I'm a bit nervous. First of all, I have no idea what a pretrial hearing for a traffic ticket entails. Should I be prepared with my motions in limine? I can't figure out what I want to keep out. Should I have written discovery requests? There is limited discovery in criminal cases here, but when I interned in the DA's office we usually just allowed the defense attorney to copy the entire file.

I'm not usually nervous about going to court--but this is justice court. It's a different breed of animal and the regular rules don't apply. I've never even been inside a justice court. County court, district court, court of appeals, federal court--yep. But no justice court. And it's different when you are defending yourself.

I called today to see who the prosecutor is, but got nowhere. It's a satellite court and some poor soul gets randomly assigned there. Hopefully the poor soul will be nice to me tomorrow.

How a 7 year old runs up a $30 tab for ice cream.

Every month or two I deposit money into my kids' lunch account for them to draw from. When it starts to get low I get an email letting me know so that I can deposit more.

Today I got an email saying that SS's lunch account was getting low. I had just sent $120 to be divided among the three girls at the first of February. And I only received a notice for SS, when the girls' accounts should have been reduced equally.

So I logged into the lunch payment system and quickly learned that SS had decided that she needed ice cream every single day since the first of the year. I immediately called the cafeteria manager and had a block put on her account so she can't get ice cream any more.

Then I had to come up with a creative punishment. (Yes, she knows she is not supposed to add snacks to her lunch, we have been over this in the past.) So tonight I brought home ice cream for everyone her and said, "OK, any idea why everybody in the house is getting ice cream but you? Because you have been getting ice cream every day and the rest of us haven't."

She was a little miffed at me, but got over it pretty quickly.

I also informed her that she will be brownbagging it for the next 3 weeks until she pays off her $30 debt. I'm not sure how much of a punishment that is because the kids generally enjoy taking their lunch--but I'm hoping that after 3 weeks PB&J will be getting pretty old. And I won't be buying any fun stuff for her lunch.

Yeah, I'm totally the meanest mom in the world.

My little princess

PS is a good kid. She is the brainy kid in class who sits quietly and reads her book even when there is chaos all around her. Every teacher she has ever had has told me how well behaved she is and she never, ever gets in trouble at school. (But believe me, home is a totally different matter. She has no problem creating chaos with her sisters.)

So imagine my surprise when I come home Friday night and DH says to PS, "Tell mom what happened at school today."

PS turned red and suppressed a grin and said, "well, I was having sick burps at school all day today."

"And . . ." I said, thinking that perhaps she had gotten sick, although that did not appear to be the case, and DH had not mentioned it when he reported that her sister was sick.

"And, so, at lunch, I accidentally burped in Cameron's face," she said.

And I said, "how do you accidentally burp in someone's face?"

"Well, I was burping all day and he just happened to be nearby."

"Okaaaay, " I said, "And then . . ."

"How do you know there's an 'and'?" she said.

"A mom can tell," I said.

"And he told on me," she said. "To the vice-principal. Who wrote a note in my folder."

"And what did the note say," I said.

"Burped in classmate's face," said DH.

And this is why I won't be getting the Mother of the Year award. Because a proper mother would admonish her child and come up with an appropriate punishment. But I just burst into laughter. "Seriously you, my perfect child, got busted by the VICE-PRINCIPAL for burping in a classmate's face???"

Yes, I find this hilarious. And no, I did not punish her. It came out later that she was quite upset by being admonished by the vp and cried in front of all of her classmates. She is much more concerned about getting in trouble at school then she is about getting in trouble at home, and I'm sure that her own shame is sufficient punishment.

Besides, I was proud of her for being upfront and telling us what happened at school rather then leaving us to read it in her folder.

Yay! It's finally the weekend.

This week was exhausting. We didn't have much of a weekend last week thanks to the twins' Luau party. Then I was sick for the better part of the week. On Thursday I didn't make it home until after 8 because we received a last minute filing from another party and Big Boss asked me to review it to determine if it was in compliance with the rules. Which I could have done on Friday, except that I was leaving town. So on Friday I left the house at 5:45 to make a 7:30 flight.

The scene inspection took much longer than Plaintiffs' counsel had estimated, which put us behind for the rest of the day and forced me to reschedule my flight. (I had originally requested that the scene inspection take place the day before the 3 depositions, but all of the other attorneys resisted, so we set it all for one day.) I did plenty of stomping around in the fields and am thankful I went with the boots (with basic brown pants and a coral tweed jacket. My attire was perfectly appropriate, but I could have gotten away with jeans.)

Did three depos afterward. The farmers were snickering at us attorneys' lack of agricultural knowledge. The first one was on guard in the beginning, but relaxed before I got through the background questions and I think it went really well.

Spent an hour in the airport bar with the other two defense attorneys. They were both genuinely nice guys.

As soon as I got off the plane, I called DH who told me that SS was running a 103.1 temp.

Stopped by the store to pick up Valentine's goodies for the girlies. (DH and I don't bother with V-day, but I usually pick up something small for the girls.)

Finally made it home at 9:00 last night. Kissed the girls goodnight and tucked them in. Barely made it through the Survivor episode that I had TIVO's (no, I'm not sure why I still bother) and collapsed into bed by 10:15.

I was looking forward to being a complete and total bum this weekend, but SS's fever was up to 103.9 this morning and she was vomiting, so I called the doc. Apparently Saturdays are "first come, first served," which is total BS. I talked DH into taking her and he sat there for almost two hours before ever seeing a doc. I would have been a very unpleasant person to deal with after that kind of wait--so it's good that he went. Fortunately, she does not have the flu or strep, but she does have an ear infection. They gave her a super-shot of antibiotics. This kid always gets hit hard when she gets a bug, so I am so thankful that it is nothing more serious.

They are finally home again and she is a pretty chipper little sick person (and demanding my laptop so that she can activate her new Webkinz). Hopefully her sisters (or DH or I) don't get it and the rest of the weekend will be smooth sailing.

What to wear?

On Friday I have to fly out of town to take depositions preceded by a scene inspection. The scene inspection is on a farm--out in the fields.

This presents a fashion dilemma. 1) I need to look like a lawyer; 2) I need to be dressed to hike across potentially muddy fields; and 3) I need shoes that aren't a royal PITA to deal with in the airport security line.

My work attire consists mostly of wide leg pants and stiletto heels--definitely not gonna work.

My preference would be to wear jeans with boots and a jacket. I might go this route if my jeans looked halfway decent, but they are all getting pretty worn and I have had no luck finding new jeans that fit well. Then there is the issue of wearing boots and getting through the airport.

I do have a pair of ankle boots, but they have an unattractive square toe that I think went in and out of style about two years ago. I suppose I could pair them with a pair of basic brown pants and make it work--I'm just not lovin' the idea. But it's better than looking like an idiot and ruining shoes that I love.

Maybe karma is telling me I need to go buy new shoes.

By the way, I am lusting over these shoes, but I just cannot justify coughing up the $328 for them:

Freaking out just a little bit

I just received an explanation of benefits from my insurance company saying I owe some medical provider that I have never heard of over $1K for multiple treatments for PS over the last year.

I don't think PS has even been to the doctor in the past year. The optometrist and the dentist--but not the doc (and, yes, I am overdue for her yearly!)

The only thing I can come up with is that someone has stolen her ID. I have received a couple of credit card apps in her name--not normal for a 10 year old, I think. But the thing is, I don't give my kids' SSNs out EVER. I don't even know them. I refuse to give them to medical providers for this reason (and yes, they get pissy when I refuse to give them SSNs--but our insurance started using alternate ID numbers years ago and there is just no need for it).

Of course, it is too late to talk to anyone, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow. But I can't even imagine what a PITA this is going to be if someone has stolen her ID. I'm wondering if I should try to order her credit report. But how do they verify it for a kid? I am always asked detailed questions about my mortgage and car payments when I order my credit report.

There's always something fun going on around here!

You're gonna have towork for this one

I am a products defense attorney. Which means I defend corporations, some of which you would instantly recognize. I had a hearing on a motion to compel for one such client last week. Plaintiffs' counsel was visibly agitated that I had dragged him to court for this motion. He whined to the judge, "The only reason we even filed this darn case is because [my client] wouldn't make any offer at all."

Then, in the elevator afterward, he said to me, "Your client is spending more on your legal fees than it would cost to settle this case."

And I said, "That's true. But my client doesn't settle cases. And you have no evidence."

Apparently he thinks that we should throw a few grand his way just because he says (without proof) that my client did something wrong. And he doesn't like that we are willing to file motions, conduct discovery and hire experts when he doesn't want to go through these steps--he just wants to collect a settlement and go about his business.

DH sometimes teases me about being the lawyer for Satan. But is it really worse than the lawyer who brings a meritless claim just because he thinks it will be an easy paycheck?

Don't call me an f'ing princess

Yeah, opposing counsel told me that I was being a princess today. Seriously. And not in a sarcastic way either.

I had just hung up and was scowling at the phone when Big Boss walked by and asked, "What's wrong?" So I told him.

He laughed, "What's wrong with being called a princess? It's better than being called an asshole, which is what most people call me! I'd love it if someone called me a princess."

What am I doing right now?

Going through my old law school notes. Yeah . . . seriously.

We have a case on a specific area of law that it well outside the area of law in which I usually practice. But I took the class on this area of law because it is on the bar. I spent most of my class time surfing the internet (3L Spring semester) and knew just enough to get by in class and pass the bar.

So--our consulting expert is my old law prof. I'm sure he doesn't remember me (although he says he does) because I am quite certain that I never said a word in class--and there were at least 75 or so in the class. But every time I talk to him he says, "Well, since you took my class you'll remember . . ." Or, well, if you go back to your textbook, chapter 7, you see that it says ...."

Yeah--I totally kept the textbook. And I totally remember what I learned in class while surfing the internet 2 years ago. [Please note sarcasm.] But I did keep the nutshell that was authored by my prof and was what got me through his class in the first place. And now I am reading through my old outline searching for cases which might be helpful.

So my word to the wise is to never hire your law prof as a consultant if you don't want a throw-back to your law school days.

What would you do?

Big Boss called me yesterday at about 5:30--maybe 20 minutes after he left the office (I almost wonder if he was checking to see if I was still there. It's true that when he stays past 5:30 I usually take off about 5 minutes after he does. Maybe somebody clued him in.)

Anyway, he said, "I was thinking about Case, and there is this issue [] that I think you need to look into."

And I said, "OK, I'll have an answer for you by Monday."

And he said, "Don't kill yourself, Monday afternoon or Tuesday is fine. But just to let you know I'll be in tomorrow [Saturday]. Me and Partner and Another Partner. But I'm not saying that you need to come in. I'm just letting you know that I'll be here if you need anything."

Yeah--I'm totally going in. I don't really want to--but I was already planning to work this weekend from home anyway.

Email from PS . . .

I was totally cracking up in my office when I got this.

My Sage field trip is tomorrow and none of us know it so I need a THROW AWAY lunch. Could you please buy me one on your way home from work? I am sending this to both mom & dad so you might need to work out an agreement. Lucy [the nanny] is on my tail so i cannot call you.


If you can get me a lunch call me or if in a hurry just get the hot dog lunchables* but i would like to know what they have since I get that EVERY SINGLE TIME

Call me if you get this message or I will Call you at about 4:30

*For the record, I only buy lunchables once or twice a year when the kids have a field trip and their lunch has to be disposable. I think they are nutritional wastelands. And I sent her with tons of fresh fruit and veggies to counter-balance to dreaded lunchable.

Alone

Our offices were officially closed today due to inclement weather. (Yeah, that never happens.) But the roads defrosted around noon and I headed in anyway. I was expecting a call from a client, I am insanely busy, and I have to be out of the office all day tomorrow for an evidence examination out of town.

I have to say that I love working when my office is deserted. I get so much more done. And the silence . . . it always drove DH nuts when I was in school because I have to study in complete silence. I also prefer to work in silence--which is hard to come by in the office unless I shut my office door (which nobody does unless they are on a conference call.) But it was silent and peaceful while I was working today.

And tomorrow I get to log 6 hours of billable time alone, rocking out in my car. Doesn't get much better than that.

I swear I live in a sitcom--a bad, dark sitcom

Work sucked again today. Work is sucking a lot lately--and not related to my screw-up last week (If you don't know what I'm talking about you're out of luck because in a flash of sensibility I pulled that post. If you do know what I'm talking about, I may have made it out to be worse than it really was.) I'm tired of work sucking--life is better when I like my job.

I had to stop by the store on the way home to pick up necessaries (but snaps to Target--I was hauling my stuff out to the car, and a kid ran out after me, offered to help unload my cart and took my cart so that I didn't have to stay out in the icy cold rain longer than necessary. That is why I heart Target!) and finally made it home about 7:30.

To find a trial of bloody kitty prints from the entry, all the way up the stairs to SS's bedroom, where there was blood everywhere, including splattered all over the door. It looked like there had been a kitty massacre.

What actually happened is that we had the cats neutered and declawed* late last week. We left the cats locked in SS's room today to keep Bob from messing with them while nobody was home. Apparently Harley started chewing on his paw, opening one of his wounds, and took off down the stairs as soon as the girls got home and let them home.

And PS was still working on her insanely difficult math homework--that took both DH and I almost an hour, and there was still one problem we couldn't answer.

Which left me with about 30 seconds to spend with the twins before they were off to bed and I had to start entering my time for the week (my least favorite chore ever!)

But to top off this marvelous day, FIL called DH to report on MIL's CT-guided biopsy last week. Apparently the docs can't agree on whether it is cancer or not. It looks like cancer on the scans, but the biopsy showed no metastasis. The surgeon wants another biopsy ASAP. And he is talking about having to take a kidney in order to remove this tumor--whatever the hell it is. At least they are finally talking about sending her to an expert in a Big City instead of the Three Stooges in Hickville continuing to screw-up her diagnoses.

*Declawing is brutal! I don't think I could ever do it to another cat again. I knew going in that it was somewhat controversial--but I didn't think it would be that bad. It looks like the poor kitties stuck their toes in a lawn-mower. I feel so terrible for them. And I am seriously questioning our vet's abilities.

Luau!

Back in July I promised the twins that if we kept their birthday low-key I would let them have a big party with all of their friends at their half-birthday. The time has come.

I talked them into a Luau party--because I have always wanted to throw one and it seemed like a nice break in the middle of a dreary winter. I've ordered grass skirts and leis for all the girls, and we went shopping for decorations yesterday.

But this stupid invitation has been the bane of my existence today. I tend to go a little Martha Stewart when making invitations and bring out my scrapbook stuff--vellum, ribbons, glitter--all things girlie. But I thought this time, in an effort to save our budget (largely consumed by grass skirts and leis) that I would take the easy route and go all digital. Ha! I have lost half my day fiddling with this thing, dealing with one crisis after another. I should have just stuck to habit--printing on vellum tied to cardstock with a pretty ribbon takes 30 minutes and always looks fabulous.

By the way--does anyone know if two people are hosting a party whether both names should be possessive or only the second? Eg.-- Beth's and Mary's party or Beth and Mary's party.

Also, if any one has any great Luau ideas--especially related to food--please post them. I think we'll do lots of fruit--but I stop at roasting a pig!

Craziness

Three of our big cases are really ramping up and several smaller cases are moving along at a steady clip. One week next month our entire practice group will be in different towns covering depos and court appearances. I think I have to travel out-of-town at least once a week for the next month (but most of it doesn't require an overnight).

Meanwhile, my nanny informed me at least two weeks ago that she needs the first week of February off, and I've been so busy that I completely forgot. So now I am scrambling to find back-up care in the next two weeks. I contacted the sitter that we used over the summer only to find that she has moved out of state! I'm going to try an online referral service to try to find a local high school or college student.

Career Day

So I was indeed the only female speaker at dad's career day (at least in the 3 classes that I spoke to, and I didn't see any other non-PTA moms wandering the halls.)

I am highly agitated by this. I emailed the principal this afternoon and received a non-response "Thanks for your concerns, we'll consider your suggestions in the future." Basically a brush-off. I have never contacted the principal to complain (although she knows who I am from other meetings), and I am really irritated that she didn't take me seriously.

But I still had a good time. I thought that it would be easiest to explain what I do to my 5th grader's class. But apparently by the 5th grade they have already developed that pre-teen apathy and seemed totally bored and disengaged.

My second graders' classes were awesome, though! The little kids were so funny, asked great questions and seemed genuinely interested. And every kid in SS's class made me a thank-you card. They are adorable and totally made my day.

Yea Starbucks!

Earlier this week I tried to use a Starbucks card that DH had put in my Christmas Stocking. I hadn't used the card before, so I was surprised when the cashier informed me that I still owed $2.xx on my $6.xx purchase.

It turns out that the card balance was only $3.41. So, I paid cash for my coffee took the card back home.

DH said that he put $20 on the card--but the receipt was nowhere to be found. So I called the number on the back of the card anyway, hoping that maybe they could pull up the credit card transaction and credit me the proper amount.

The very friendly Starbucks rep informed me that only $3.41 had even been put onto the card. DH explained the transaction, so she tried to pull it up. But apparently this particular Starbucks (its in a gas station) is a franchise and not in their system.

But Starbucks credited the difference back to the card anyway!!! I was stunned--I thought that we were just going to have to eat the loss. So yea Starbucks for excellent CSR.

What decade is it, again?

I got a call last weekend informing me that I had signed up to speak at career day, and volunteer coordinator informed me that they were combining it with Dad's day because the kids think it is cool to see dad's around the school instead of the usual moms. This struck me as a little strange--but, ok.

Today I see the flyer about Career Day, which is hailed as "Dad's Career Day on Campus." It then reads "We invite all dads, granddads, uncles & big brothers to participate in our Dad's Career Day on Campus."

WTF???

Apparently only dads have careers. (I can guarantee that there will be no "Moms Career Day," and it is nonsensical to split career days by the sexes, anyway.)

So on the one hand I will be the mom crashing Dads Career Day. And on the other hand, I feel that it is even more important that I attend Career Day--because these kids REALLY need to see that women can have careers, too.

I am royally pissed about the way this is being handled. I really hope that I am missing something and there will be other career moms around tomorrow. But I think a chat with the principal is warranted.

Meanwhile, I have to figure out how to explain what a lawyer does to a room full of 7 year olds.

Question...

My secretary's father-in-law just passed away. Do I send something?

Another entry in my baby lawyer book

My name was added to a pleading for the first time today. Yes, sad but true, I have never been listed on a pleading. Which confuses opposing counsel and courts when I show up and they have no freaking clue who I am.

I have been working with opposing counsel in Rural Suckville to coordinate depositions and a scene inspection at his clients' farms to inspect an allegedly defective agricultural product. A few weeks ago I attempted to discuss a specific legal point with him, and he kept dodging saying that he wanted to speak with Partner. Finally, I said, ok, I'll have him call you, but the answer that you are looking forward is at [cite to code].

And Mr. Opposing Counsel says, "LC--are you an attorney???"

"Umm, yes, I am."

"Oh dear, I just assumed that you were a secretary or paralegal."

Gee, thanks.

Anyway, today I was talking him to confirm our scene inspection next week, and he said, "Oh, I guess you are going to get the chance to see some [Rural Suckville] farmland," in a tone that clearly indicated that a Big City secretary/lawyer can't have possibly ever seen a farm before.

To which I responded, "Actually I went to school in [Rural Suckville] and grew up in [Town close to Rural Suckville], so I am well acquainted with the farmland in that part of the world."

Happiness is Rural Suckville in your rearview mirror. But being the high powered big city lawyer that I am, I will be returning next week to tour the farmland.

Fuck.

MIL's cancer is back. Even though the stupid moronic doctor that she saw a week ago said that there was no sign of cancer. She has already fought off this shit twice--and she's only 53. They said that its too deep to biopsy and plan to start chemo again. Fortunately, she is being referred to another oncologist who specializes in this type of cancer--since the three stooges who have been treating her for the last month haven't been able to get it right.

Where to go?

Since we just celebrated our 13th anniversary, DH and I have been discussing what to do for our 15th anniversary. I was in law school for our 10th and finances were tight, so we didn't do anything special. I think we are due for a big trip.

The problem is that we are the most un-traveled people in the world. We can count on both hands the number of states that we have visited and neither of us has ever left the country. (We thought the beach sounded boring and opted for Disney World for our honeymoon all those years ago--and it was great fun!)

And I want to see everything! We are considering Europe, Africa, Tahiti, Hawaii, Australia. . . . Of course, we have plenty of time to decide, but I am just so overwhelmed with all of our options. I kind of want to a cruise around the Greek islands--but it doesn't look like it is offered in December. And I'd like to see Rome, but didn't realize that it is so far from Greece and Paris. London and Paris are an option, but there is so much history, I think we might prefer to take that trip with the kids.

I'd also like to do an African safari (the photo kind, not the hunting kind.) But I don't think DH is too into Africa, and I don't know that Africa is an ideal travel location right now.

And when I was looking at those Greek cruises, I found cruises around the Tahitian islands and Bora Bora looks so gorgeous that I'm thinking something warm, exotic and beachy seems pretty sweet! (Cruises are appealing to me because you can leave all your stuff and come back to the same room each night while getting to see lots of different places.)

So, dear reader(s), if you have traveled to any far and fabulous places, please share your recommendations so that I can narrow my choices over the next two years.

13 years is a long time.

And today, that's how long I have been married.

I've made more than a few bad decisions in my life, but I seemed to do pretty well with picking a spouse. Actually, it's something of a miracle that I managed to find someone who's willing to put up with me!

We're keeping it low-key this year--since we been lucky enough to have a few kid-free nights out in recent weeks and, quite frankly, we're tired of spending money. But we'll go to dinner with the rugrats tonight and a lovely bouquet just arrived at my front door.

Can't a girl take a day off?

So I took off from Christmas Eve through New Year's Day. Litigation tends to be slow during the holidays, and I know that January is already shaping up to be quite hectic. So I thought I'd take the opportunity to hang out with my girlies (and save the cash that full-day child care would cost.)

But I have received a flurry of emails over the last two days. I think Big Boss is freaking out because because his paralegal and I are both out of the office. Most of the emails that he has sent involve issues that are fully under control. We have no firm deadlines until mid-January--although I assured him last week that I would have preliminary drafts ready by Jan 5.

Hopefully my email reassurances are sufficient to convince him that all is well.

Home Sweet Home

We survived the trip to Hometown and it was a whirlwind. We spent Friday night with DH's sibs, Saturday morning and afternoon with my dad's family and Saturday night with my mother. Sunday morning we hung out with DH's parents and his sister who was home with a sick baby on Friday, then visited with my mom's parents before heading out of town.

Saturday was my Grandfather's 81st birthday and it was the first time he has had all of his kids, grands and greats together. I don't think he could have been any happier. My dad and his sister hate each other, so we don't have big family get togethers. (My dad was subpoenaed to testify against his sister's husband before the grand jury, which led to the husband's (white-collar) felony indictment and eventual conviction and vacation to the federal pen. She blames my dad--and I don't think my dad was too fond of her before all of this.)

I got to see my cousin, who is the same age as me. We were great friends as kids, but grew apart as teens and rarely see each other now. We used to torment my grandmother endlessly. Interestingly, we both ended up having identical twin girls. My cousin said it was our punishment for what we used to do to my grandmother. Maybe she's right. The two sets of twins had great fun playing together--it's too bad they don't get to see each other more.

We were supposed to stay through Monday, but MIL looked so worn out that we took off Sunday afternoon instead. Apparently she was feeling much better last Tuesday, but once she acclimated to her new medication, she hasn't felt quite as good. And although the docs have ruled out cancer, they still haven't figured out what is causing her problem and she is still in a lot of pain. (I tried to gently suggest a second opinion, but MIL and FIL are very protective of their doctors. I think they are of the generation that believes doctors are always right and are still somewhat intimidated by them. Sigh.)

Anyway, we were trying to be helpful by giving MIL some peace since I know she was overdoing it while we were there and the kids were pretty wound up--but she cried when we left and made me feel like an ogre.

We also brought back my niece who is the same age as the twins. Her dad has to travel a lot and got stuck at the airport and couldn't make it home for Christmas. She was taking it hard, and we thought some time with her cousins might take her mind off not getting to see her dad. The girls have been playing Guitar Hero world tour since we got home (like Rockband), and they are hilarious.

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone had a joyful holiday.

The girlies have been little angels since yesterday afternoon. We went to my uncle's house last night, where my kiddos were the only kids around and they were perfect--even while we were having an adults only gift exchange. We had let them open one gift beforehand, just to keep them occupied. The twins got Barbie MP3 players, which they LOVE (in addition to playing music, they look like dolls and have clothes and accessories that you can change out) and PS got a Flypen, which I'm not sure she's figured out yet.

Then my aunt gave them old school weaving looms, and they spent the entire evening and most of today making woven potholders. I find it rather amusing that with all of the fancy electronics they received, they have spent the most time on those weaving looms.

The girls seemed genuinely appreciative of the gifts they received from Santa this morning. I got DH a guitar and he got me a red Dooney & Burke purse. I'm not a label snob, but I will only carry leather purses, and I loved the look of this one. And we happened to stumble on it in Macy's when it was 30% off plus an extra 20% off--so a great deal. (Yeah--I told DH to get it and knew what I was getting ahead of time.)

So, per our usually protocol we spend Christmas day at home in our jammies. I had intended to make a decent dinner, but we were all so lazy that I just ended up making a giant pot of homemade mac 'n cheese--yum! But now I have to finish our packing and wrapping because tomorrow we leave for hometown, which will be 3 days of nonstop Chirstmas celebrations. We usually go to the movies on Christmas day, but with getting ready to leave town, it's just not happening this year.

And I am a teeny bit irritated w/ MIL (who I love--really!) because she just informed DH that she intends to take pictures of all of us in our nice holiday clothes when we get together tomorrow evening. Yeah--we have a 7 hour drive tomorrow and will be arriving only shortly before this get-together. And I generally travel with a ponytail, no make-up and my sweats. So I'm going to have to get up extra early to make myself beautiful in the morning--so I can spend the next 7 hours in the car--or I can try to squeeze in an hour-and-a-half's worth of showering, hair flattening, and kid readying into half an hour before all of DH's sibs show up at MIL's. And we can't leave any earlier in the morning because we have to drop off the critters for boarding.

Oh, and for anyone who's still reading, and wondering what happened with MIL's health issues, she had an appointment with her oncologist on Tuesday who said there was no indication of any cancer anywhere. We were all holding our breath waiting to hear this for the last 2 weeks. They aren't sure what IS causing her issues, but they have put her on a different medication and she is feeling much, much better.

Toothpaste for Santa

We're waiting out the kiddos we can do the Santa thing. I am pooped and really just want to go to bed, but that's not gonna happen any time soon.

SS insisted on leaving toothpaste for Santa. Because in the letter he sent, he mentioned that he was packing his toothbrush, but didn't mention toothpaste. She also left him water to rinse with, along with his milk and cookies.

TT made sure the reindeer were hooked up with carrots and wrote a note asking Santa how he gets all the way around the whole world in one night. I guess I need to figure out an answer to that one.

I am the meanest mom in the whole world.

I have been begging, pleading and screaming at my kids for the last two days to clean their rooms. They have been rotten little brats for the last two weeks who completely refuse to do what they are told. And they have a huge case of the gimmes. I refuse to raise bratty kids!

I have been so tempted to leave lumps of coal in their stockings this year. That would really make me the meanest mom in the world. But they aren't truly bad kids. They are kind to others, they do well in school, their teachers say they are angels . . . apparently the rottenness only comes out at home. But it makes me so mad to have spent a ton of money buying them all the stuff they really, really want just to have them act like ungrateful brats.

So tonight, when I got home at 9:00 and their rooms still weren't clean after DH had been yelling at them for the last two hours we decided to go extreme. I told them they had 5 minutes to finish their room or I was taking one of their Christmas presents back to the store.

And they didn't get it done, so I pulled out two Webkinz, showed them to the girls and said, "Well, you were getting this for Christmas. But now they're going back to the store and some other kids who take care of their toys can have them."

Then I reset the kitchen timer for 5 more minutes and told them that they would lose 2 more toys every 5 minutes until their room is done. (Well, DH though 5 minutes was not enough--so he made it 15 minutes.)

The thing is, I HATE doing this. I knew that SS really, really wanted this particular Webkinz that you can't find in any of the stores around here. It bums me out to take away something that I was really looking forward to giving them. I don't buy toys for the kids the rest of the year (except birthdays) so I go waaay overboard at Christmas because I love buying for them so much.

But they just are getting that if they don't take care of their things they aren't getting any new ones. Aargghhh!

Update: So the timer just went off again, and I asked what happened to the toy baskets that were in the floor. "We put them away." "Umm, where." "In the closet." So I go to their giant walk-in closet to find it piled 3 feet high with all of the crap they were supposed to be cleaning up!!!

Facebook weirdness

So, being the uncool thirty-something that I am, I have only recently joined Facebook. (Thanks a lot PT--I totally blame you!)

Anyway, the first person to request me as a friend came out of the clear blue sky. It was a guy that I knew in high school but wasn't really friends with. We didn't have any classes together but we went to the same church. I think he may have kinda liked me, but I had zero interest in him. And, oh yeah, his dad and my mom dated for a while.

Since I didn't have a huge connection with this guy, it seemed strange that he would seek me out as a friend on Facebook. But DH assured me that I probably just came up as a potential friend when he was looking at our high school and it was no big deal.

Anyway, tonight his dad emails me via facebook and wants me to pass along his info to my mom so that he can say "hi!." I have no idea if he knows that my mom is now on hubby #3. Or that I speak to my mom approximately twice a year.

So, who knew that facebook could be used to help your mom hook up with old boyfriends?

OMG I feel like I am taking a Contracts exam!

The legal issue that I am working on feels straight out of 1L Contracts. (Have I mentioned that Contracts was my worst class. There is a reason that I am a products liability lawyer, and its because I rocked torts--and my procedure classes, which are very handy for a litigator. The UCC--eh, not so much.)

I'm back to what constitutes an offer and an acceptance. And this fact scenario feels like something specifically drafted to make law students ferret out all the issues. The problem is that I am supposed to be drafting an opinion letter to the client. And clients don't want to see all of the potential issues. They want an opinion on whether they are going to get their money or not. But I can't seem to form an opinion because all I can see are the issues.

If the Court sees A as an offer and acceptance, you win. Oh, but you did B two days later which changed the terms. So if the court sees that as a counter-offer, you lose-because there was no acceptance. But wait, they agreed to your counter-offer via email--so you win. But then you added more terms--so you lose. But they aren't material--so you win. Unless the court thinks they are material--then you lose.

Arghhhh!!!

Snow day!

Or rather, ice day. There is not a bit of snow, but the highways are covered in ice so the kids' school canceled classes. (It really seems kind of ridiculous since we live about 4 blocks from school--I know that my brethren in the great white north would laugh if they saw how little it takes to start shutting down schools and government around here!) I am working from home--at least for now. I left the office at 8:30 last night only to hit the freeway and find traffic stopped in every direction and flashing lights all around. I sat still for more than half an hour without moving more than 100 yards. So I wasn't dying to get back into it today--although I feel a little guilty staying home because my firm isn't officially closed.

So I am doing some research on a breach of contract case and I see that one of the parties is named Renoir. That's interesting, I think. So I run a quick Google search and find out that the case does in fact involve THE Renoir. And I came across this article, which I found quite fascinating. (Long story short, loads of Renoir's personal artifacts ended up in College Station, Texas and were subsequently transported to an Elks Lodge in Maryland where they were auctioned off to some guy in Ohio.)

Does anyone else get distracted like this when doing research? Sometimes the cases that I am sifting through are so interesting, that I have to read them even when they are clearly not on point. Or I start googling to figure out who the parties are. It's a terrible time waster.

Now, must resume research. It will not look good if I bill only 3 hours because I am working from home.

My dog is totally whipped.

Literally. By my gay cat.




We eventually had to take the bone away from the cat so that Bob could have it.

The best part of Christmas

Tonight we went shopping for our "angels." DH and I started adopting angels from the Angel Tree when we were in college. It was so much fun to shop for a less fortunate child--especially when we had no children to shop for. Now we let each of our girls pick one child off of the angel tree every year. My goal is to teach my children to joy of giving to others and to break out of the "gimme, gimme" phase that is so pervasive this time of year.

This year we had an 11 year old girl, a 3 year old girl and a 6 year old boy. The younger girl asked only for clothes and the older asked only for a coat. But of course, we couldn't just by clothes--all kids need fun stuff at Christmas.

SS was so funny shopping for clothes for her little girl. She kept going from rack to rack "how about this one Mommy? . . . oh Mommy look at this! . . . oh, we have to get her this! . . . and don't forget the shoes--it says her shoe size . . . and she needs socks, too, don't you think?" She talked me into way more stuff than I was intending to buy.

PS was shopping for the older girl--so we looked for some girlie things for her. PS found a Caboodle (remember when those were all the rage?) and insisted we fill it full of nail polishes, lip glosses and hair do-dads. She was SO excited to come home and organize everything so that it fit just right.

I (a-hem) slightly exceeded my budget, but it's all good. We are a lot better off than many right now. And all I needed for Christmas was to see my kids so excited about giving to others.

Good news for me!

We got our bonuses this morning--that was enough to make my day a good one. But the office manager also came in my office and told me that I got one of the best bonuses--especially for someone with my level of experience. She said that my supervising attorneys were very complimentary of me and that Partner is the one who suggested my bonus. Yea me!

I took off early today because my nanny needed the day off, so I picked up the girlies and we did a little shopping. I swear the twins have worn holes in every pair of jeans they own. It was nice to have a little extra time with the girls.

Tomorrow we go to the Christmas Tree Farm to pick out our tree. I have been feeling so Grinchy. Hopefully bringing a little Christmas into the house will help. But today has been a good day-and I am much happier than yesterday when I was drowning my troubles in vodka and Lofthouse cookies.

I could kill him

My brother, that is. A few weeks ago he got into major trouble. Think of all the really bad things that could happen to you at the same time--financial problems, criminal charges, family issues. Much of it was his own fault--or at least his willful blindness. Some of it was not.

I did as much as I could on the legal end. I also called my dad and my grandparents--who my brother had completely cut out of his life for the last two years. I convinced them that my brother was in dire straits--that he needed help. They reached out to him and bailed him out.

Now my brother has disappeared. He won't return phone calls (I think he phone has been turned off) or emails. He hasn't shown up when he promised to. He basically took everything he could from all of us and then just went back to the way things were.

I feel like I have been conned. There are few people in the world who could pull one over on me. I am inherently distrustful and can almost always see through bullshit. But I sure feel like my brother conned me--and it pisses me off.

But even more than that, I feel like my brother took advantage of my grandparents. We don't have the best parents in the world, but my grandparents have always been there when we needed them. My grandparents have always been comfortable and in a position to help out financially when we really needed it. But I think they have lived longer than they planned for and have really cut back on their spending in the last few years. I know that they do not have the extra income to bail out my brother like they could have a few years ago.

And yet they did, and now he is being a total asshole. If I weren't 400 miles away, I would totally kick his ass--even if he is 8" taller and 100 pounds heavier than me.

The not so fun part of being a lawyer

So, it turns out that I did not get my paralegal in trouble. He got in trouble for taking 3.5 hours to do a task that should have taken 30 minutes.

I have known for a while that my supervisors are not especially fond of Paralegal. But 75% of his assignments come directly from me, so I have been doing my best to advise him on how to do better and to protect him from my higher-ups. But now I am under heavy-pressure to make him live up to expectations and he just isn't cutting it. I don't especially like the managerial task that I have been given, but I don't really have a choice. I feel like I am being tested to see whether I have what it takes to be a manager.

So today I went and basically gave Paralegal very short deadlines to complete projects that have been languishing. He just isn't getting tasks done quickly enough-even though I have told him to cut all of his deadlines in half. If he doesn't meet these newly-imposed deadlines, there is going to be a big problem. I have had to yank projects away from him in the past, and it looks like it may happen again. But this time Big Boss is watching closely and it won't bode well for Paralegal.

Ugh . . . they definitely did not teach this in law school.

Walking the tightrope

I think one of the biggest challenges for new lawyers is learning to balance. And I'm not talking about work vs. life. I mean things like taking initiative versus appearing presumptuous and completing one supervisor's tasks before another's.

The first is the biggest challenge for me. Every day there is at least one task that I question whether I should go forward with or seek approval for. Generally, if I have a question, I seek approval. But when I have done something repeatedly and know that it will be required again, then I will just do it. Usually this is ok--but this week I got my paralegal in trouble for doing I task that I assigned (creating a med chron). We have done med chrons for all similar cases, so when the records came in, I handed them off and told him to do the chron. Apparently Partner, for some reason I have yet to ascertain, did not want a med chron on this case. (I did tell Paralegal that if he is ever called out because of a task I assigned to please make clear that I gave him that assignment and that I will take the heat.) Another new lawyer on the other end of the office was scolded the same day for giving her paralegal a task.

Sometimes the line is just hard to see. Big Boss is constantly telling me "the staff works for you." So as I have been getting busier and busier I have been handing more tasks off to my secretary and paralegal. I also try to anticipate what needs to be done, because we are so busy, so that we are not bombarded at the last minute. But apparently anticipation can backfire.

The balance of assignments from different supervisors not something that I usually struggle with anymore, but I know other associates in my office are having problems with this. The best advice I can give if you have this issue is to ask for deadlines on every assignment. Partner was terrible about giving me deadlines, which made it difficult to prioritize my tasks--you have to know what is due and when to keep things running smoothly. Also, be sure that the attorneys you are working with know if you are being piled on by another attorney. Many are oblivious to anything except their own cases.

This issue definitely gets easier. Now I have a set of cases that I am primarily responsible for--so I am well acquainted with what is due when, and it is much easier to prioritize. This week, however, I had to deal with two supervisors who seemed to be at odds about when a task needed to be done.

On Monday Big Boss asked me to send some documents out to a third party by the end of the week. I assured them that I would get the documents out without a problem--but the documents needed to be approved by Partner before they were sent (Big Boss was out of town until Friday). On Tuesday I approached Partner about the documents. Partner informed me in no uncertain terms that he was unable to view the documents the entire week.

At that moment, I knew I was screwed. Big Boss wanted the documents out--but wanted final approval from someone higher than me. And I had scheduled a conference call with the party receiving the documents for Tuesday--so they definitely needed to be fed exed by Friday so that he would have time to review them before the call.

On Thursday morning I again (knowing it would piss Partner off) approached Partner about the docs and reminded him of the conference call next week. Partner (who was definitely pissed off) again informed me that he did not have time to look at the documents.

Yep, definitely screwed. I knew that Big Boss would not be happy when he arrived on Friday and the documents had not been sent. But I couldn't exactly force Partner to do anything. All I could do is have the documents in final perfect form and ask Big Boss to approve them so that they could be sent on Friday.

On Friday I held my breath while waiting for Big Boss. To say he was pissed is an understatement--it was not pretty. But I let him have his say and then said calmly, "What do you want me to do about it? The documents are ready, I can overnight them today, but they haven't been approved." He said, "You're approving them, and they're going out."

OK then--I could have had them out on Tuesday if I had had the authority to approve them.

I have to say that I feel sort of betrayed by Partner. He knew that Big Boss would be angry and he knew that I would be the one to take the heat. I guess Partner doesn't owe me anything, but I would never let my paralegal or secretary take the hit for something that I had control over. And I even tried to spin it to Big Boss to put Partner in the best possible light (he was really busy, he had this and this and this going on . . .)

Fortunately, I don't think Big Boss's anger was really directed toward me (and even apologised later). He knows that I get my assignments done on time (usually well ahead of schedule) and that I am not a procrastinator. But he also said that there were going to be some changes that I am not entirely happy about. I'm not too excited to go to work tomorrow to see what the fallout from all of this is.

Sucky stuff all around us

MIL has been having lots of trouble with her kidneys lately. They put in a stint about a month ago, but it got blocked so they took it out again. She has continued to be in a great deal of pain, so they went in yesterday to replace the stint and found some kind of blockage in her bladder.

MIL was diagnosed with colon cancer about 5 years ago. She had a very large section of her colon removed (any more would have required a colostomy bag) and underwent chemo and radiation. She fought off the cancer, but it returned two years later. I think they only did radiation the second time.

So the docs are speculating that this "blockage" could be scar tissue from the radiation. Or something else. They ordered an MRI, but weren't able to complete it. So we are all just left wondering what is going to happen next. And it is not an easy wait given all the she has been through in the last few years.

Than today DH called to tell me that they had just laid off the guy who works directly under him and several other people in his company today. Scary. We've felt pretty insulated from the current economic situation until today. This hit a little close to home. But DH feels pretty secure because he is (now) the only web guy in the entire company. And it is a large company that must have someone in-house to keep things running. DH thinks that his job is secure--but of course he feels terrible for his friend that was just laid off with no notice.

And the kicker is that this company is having its big, awesome holiday party this weekend. If it is anything like last year, the cost of this party could cover at least two annual salaries. There was an open bar (for like 700 people), tons of food, 2 bands (a 9 piece and a smaller jazz band) and goodies galore. It just seems wrong to have a party like that when you are laying people off (although DH pointed out that it may have all been booked before these decisions were made). But they were kind allow the laid-off workers to still attend the party--better add a few more bottles to that alcohol order.