It's been a heck of a week. I've been putting in lots of long days for almost a month now, and this week we hosted a big mediation, which meant I saw the inside of my house for approximately 8 hours during a 48 hour period. By Thursday I was so exhausted that I fell into bed at 7:30. Exhausted from working, exhausted from the stress of possibly never finding the end of my to-do list, exhausted from dealing with the secretary situation, exhausted from the mom-guilt of not spending enough time with my kids.
By Friday I managed to leave the office at a reasonable hour and we went to dinner together. Yesterday we went searching for a television console. DH used his bonus to finally buy a big ass flatscreen tv, but we can't find a console for it. So we promised the kids that if we dragged them out looking for furniture we'd take them to play laser tag afterward. But SS started to complain that she didn't feel well, and then she developed rosy cheeks and clammy skin. Sure enough, she had a fever by the time we got home. So no laser tag--instead we watched movies and worked on a puzzle.
On the secretary front, we are in limbo. She didn't come in the first half of the week, claiming an injury. When she showed up on Thursday, she was very, very apologetic. There was a lot of crying. The decision is not mine, and I don't know what the powers that be are going to do. There are several legal issues at play. But she knows that she is in deep and was Suzy Sunshine the rest of the week. Still, I am hesitant to give her important assignments if she is not going to be around in a few days, or in case she decides to throw another fit and screw something up. I like my firm, but I am very frustrated by this situation.
1/30/11
1/24/11
The Update
Secretary called in sick today. I was somewhat relieved, as that meant I could deal with the situation without her overhearing.
Big Boss asked what I thought should happen. I told him that if it were up to me she would be fired. I told him that he or one of the other partners had acted that way, I would be looking for another job. I have worked for crazy before, and I won't do it again. And I absolutely will not tolerate it from a subordinate. I said that at a bare minimum she must be written up and it must be made clear that if anything else remotely similar were to happen again, she would be out the door.
I have certainly had enough drama in my life, and I hate dealing with it. When I was a kid, I had no choice but to deal with whatever drama my parents threw at me. And one of the things I value the most as an adult is having control over my life. Nobody can force me to live with their drama. It's one of the reasons I live 400 miles away from my family. It's one of the reasons that I became a lawyer--because I wanted a job with the freedom to not work for someone else if I so choose.
I am sometimes stunned by how classically normal my little family is. I have a 15 year, happy, marriage. I have three really good, happy, kids. I have a house in the suburbs and a houseful of critters. And we have very little drama--which is by design, not coincidence. I have made a conscious decision to cut the crazy out of my life, and I am sure as hell not going to deal with it from my secretary.
Big Boss asked what I thought should happen. I told him that if it were up to me she would be fired. I told him that he or one of the other partners had acted that way, I would be looking for another job. I have worked for crazy before, and I won't do it again. And I absolutely will not tolerate it from a subordinate. I said that at a bare minimum she must be written up and it must be made clear that if anything else remotely similar were to happen again, she would be out the door.
I have certainly had enough drama in my life, and I hate dealing with it. When I was a kid, I had no choice but to deal with whatever drama my parents threw at me. And one of the things I value the most as an adult is having control over my life. Nobody can force me to live with their drama. It's one of the reasons I live 400 miles away from my family. It's one of the reasons that I became a lawyer--because I wanted a job with the freedom to not work for someone else if I so choose.
I am sometimes stunned by how classically normal my little family is. I have a 15 year, happy, marriage. I have three really good, happy, kids. I have a house in the suburbs and a houseful of critters. And we have very little drama--which is by design, not coincidence. I have made a conscious decision to cut the crazy out of my life, and I am sure as hell not going to deal with it from my secretary.
1/21/11
Helluva day
I slept in (until 7) because I'd been battling a relentless headach for the past two days and hadn't slept worth a darn. Should've known it wasn't gonna be a great day when the only clean undies I could find were of the lacy thong variety. Nothing like feeling your underwear up your butt all day to make you chipper.
Work was, like the last two weeks, insane. I have a huge to-do list, and it isn't getting any shorter because little fires keep popping up. And it doesn't help that three of my bosses were out of town this week and they all loaded me up before they left. I've been the only attorney in the office for the better part of the week.
On one of my cases, the opposing attorney wants to turn every single step a battle. For instance, I sent her a request for a privilege log, and she responded by informing me that my request would generate additional attorney's fees that my client would be obligated to pay. (I was tempted to reply back that I admired her optimism, but I just ignored her instead.) I just don't understand why this case is generating so much hostility. Most of the lawyers I work with are pretty decent people and realize that a wise lawyer chooses her battles.
And my secretary has lost her freaking mind. At 2:00 this afternoon I got a Fed Ex containing disks that I have been waiting for and need to review this weekend. I asked my secretary to please make copies of the disks by the end of the day and told her that if she did not have time to get it done to hand it off to someone else (since all of their attorneys are out of town.)
She waited until 5:15 to start burning the disks (after her 30 minute cell phone conversation). Then she ran into a problem. So she called the computer guy and was rude and hateful to him yelling about how she had to leave immediately (she leaves at 5:30). So she finally comes into my office and informs me that I am just going to have to take the originals home because she can't make copies. And I asked her, perfectly calmly, "Did you ask anybody else to help out with this earlier in the day?" And she said, "I didn't have time for that." And I said, "asking for help earlier in the day would have prevented problems late in the day." And she started yelling and said, "I work like a fucking dog and you don't appreciate it and you just think I'm too slow." And she threw the CDs at me and stormed out of the office! WTF???
Besides the complete inappropriateness of her actions, can someone explain how advising her to give part of her work to someone else is accusing her of being slow or overworking her? (And yes, I had already spoken to the other secretaries about helping out this week, so there was no problem with her asking for help.)
And, oh yes, I gave her three things to do today. Two letters that I drafted that she had to cut and paste onto letterhead and fax, and a cut-and-paste depo notice that went out certified. Yep, that's a tough life. I swear I'm getting more pissed the longer I sit and think about it.
So I stayed at work until 9:00 to try to knock out some of my to-dos and then got stuck in traffic for an hour. Dead standstill because there were some flares left in the road from an earlier accident.
Finally made it home by 10. Told hubby that I wish there was a bar where you could wear your pajama pants, because I really needed a drink, but I really wanted to put on my comfy pants. So he volunteered to go to the liquor store to get tequila and a margarita mixer. But apparently you can't buy liquor here after 9:00 pm!! WTF?? I think I knew that somewhere in the back of my mind, but obviously, I don't buy liquor very often.
So poor DH got out in the cold for nothing, and I'm stuck with a bottle of red wine. Or the vodka in the freezer--although I've avoided vodka ever since the Russian wedding.
Work was, like the last two weeks, insane. I have a huge to-do list, and it isn't getting any shorter because little fires keep popping up. And it doesn't help that three of my bosses were out of town this week and they all loaded me up before they left. I've been the only attorney in the office for the better part of the week.
On one of my cases, the opposing attorney wants to turn every single step a battle. For instance, I sent her a request for a privilege log, and she responded by informing me that my request would generate additional attorney's fees that my client would be obligated to pay. (I was tempted to reply back that I admired her optimism, but I just ignored her instead.) I just don't understand why this case is generating so much hostility. Most of the lawyers I work with are pretty decent people and realize that a wise lawyer chooses her battles.
And my secretary has lost her freaking mind. At 2:00 this afternoon I got a Fed Ex containing disks that I have been waiting for and need to review this weekend. I asked my secretary to please make copies of the disks by the end of the day and told her that if she did not have time to get it done to hand it off to someone else (since all of their attorneys are out of town.)
She waited until 5:15 to start burning the disks (after her 30 minute cell phone conversation). Then she ran into a problem. So she called the computer guy and was rude and hateful to him yelling about how she had to leave immediately (she leaves at 5:30). So she finally comes into my office and informs me that I am just going to have to take the originals home because she can't make copies. And I asked her, perfectly calmly, "Did you ask anybody else to help out with this earlier in the day?" And she said, "I didn't have time for that." And I said, "asking for help earlier in the day would have prevented problems late in the day." And she started yelling and said, "I work like a fucking dog and you don't appreciate it and you just think I'm too slow." And she threw the CDs at me and stormed out of the office! WTF???
Besides the complete inappropriateness of her actions, can someone explain how advising her to give part of her work to someone else is accusing her of being slow or overworking her? (And yes, I had already spoken to the other secretaries about helping out this week, so there was no problem with her asking for help.)
And, oh yes, I gave her three things to do today. Two letters that I drafted that she had to cut and paste onto letterhead and fax, and a cut-and-paste depo notice that went out certified. Yep, that's a tough life. I swear I'm getting more pissed the longer I sit and think about it.
So I stayed at work until 9:00 to try to knock out some of my to-dos and then got stuck in traffic for an hour. Dead standstill because there were some flares left in the road from an earlier accident.
Finally made it home by 10. Told hubby that I wish there was a bar where you could wear your pajama pants, because I really needed a drink, but I really wanted to put on my comfy pants. So he volunteered to go to the liquor store to get tequila and a margarita mixer. But apparently you can't buy liquor here after 9:00 pm!! WTF?? I think I knew that somewhere in the back of my mind, but obviously, I don't buy liquor very often.
So poor DH got out in the cold for nothing, and I'm stuck with a bottle of red wine. Or the vodka in the freezer--although I've avoided vodka ever since the Russian wedding.
1/16/11
Surviving
This weekend has not been as bad as I anticipated.
I think that one of the things I was dreading the most were changes to MIL's home. There are some--but not nearly what I expected.
We have been very busy and that has helped to avoid long awkward pauses. And we have gotten to spend lots of time with our siblings, which is a good thing. I got to hang out with my brother and nieces last night, and tonight all of DH's sibs, along with FIL and new wife, (there are 20 of us, total) met up at SIL's house for pizza and a Just Dance Wii smackdown (that was hilarious--we are a most uncoordinated group). FIL and new wife cut out early, and we weren't really sure why. After we got back here, FIL explained that it was the first time that the entire family has been together since the funeral and it was tough having everybody there except MIL. I hope it doesn't set him back again, but I guess it needed to happen.
I also met with my mother. Her life is not going well. I think she was hinting about moving in with me. Not gonna happen. Not even logistically possible since I live in a 2-story house and she has so many artificial body parts that stairs are out of the question.
We leave first thing in the morning. Glad to have this trip behind me.
I think that one of the things I was dreading the most were changes to MIL's home. There are some--but not nearly what I expected.
We have been very busy and that has helped to avoid long awkward pauses. And we have gotten to spend lots of time with our siblings, which is a good thing. I got to hang out with my brother and nieces last night, and tonight all of DH's sibs, along with FIL and new wife, (there are 20 of us, total) met up at SIL's house for pizza and a Just Dance Wii smackdown (that was hilarious--we are a most uncoordinated group). FIL and new wife cut out early, and we weren't really sure why. After we got back here, FIL explained that it was the first time that the entire family has been together since the funeral and it was tough having everybody there except MIL. I hope it doesn't set him back again, but I guess it needed to happen.
I also met with my mother. Her life is not going well. I think she was hinting about moving in with me. Not gonna happen. Not even logistically possible since I live in a 2-story house and she has so many artificial body parts that stairs are out of the question.
We leave first thing in the morning. Glad to have this trip behind me.
1/14/11
Dread
We're heading to Hometown tomorrow--something I've successfully avoided since MIL passed away last February. I am not looking forward to it. I've had a crazy week and there is nothing appealing about a 7-hour drive, a day-and-a half of trying to see about a million different relatives, and a return 7-hour drive. I'd rather stay curled up on my comfy couch reading my nook (or, more realistically, doing doc review).
But mostly, I just don't want to go. I don't want to stay with FIL and his new wife, but DH says we have to or we'll hurt FIL's feelings. I promised to be nice to New Wife, but I truly feel that she is either stupid or manipulative for jumping into a relationship with FIL less than 3 months after MIL died, and I have absolutely no respect for her. (I'm leaning toward stupid, but carefully watching for manipulative.) I don't have a poker face (a terrible trait for a lawyer), so it will be a real challenge to feign nice.
And I don't want to deal with my mother who has her own bag of crazy issues. I try to avoid dealing with her, but she has sucked me in to helping her deal with certain problems for which I am uniquely qualified to help. (Yes, I know that I sound awful, and you really can't understand unless you have a toxic, narcissistic parent.)
The reason we're going is to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandparents have always been the rock in my dysfunctional life, and my grandmother wants nothing more than to have her family together. So I will go, and deal with my emotional deficiencies.
And the kids are super excited about seeing their cousins and their grandparents.
And we'll be so busy that I'll have only minimal time to spend with New Wife or my mother.
So, I'll survive. But I'd rather do doc review.
But mostly, I just don't want to go. I don't want to stay with FIL and his new wife, but DH says we have to or we'll hurt FIL's feelings. I promised to be nice to New Wife, but I truly feel that she is either stupid or manipulative for jumping into a relationship with FIL less than 3 months after MIL died, and I have absolutely no respect for her. (I'm leaning toward stupid, but carefully watching for manipulative.) I don't have a poker face (a terrible trait for a lawyer), so it will be a real challenge to feign nice.
And I don't want to deal with my mother who has her own bag of crazy issues. I try to avoid dealing with her, but she has sucked me in to helping her deal with certain problems for which I am uniquely qualified to help. (Yes, I know that I sound awful, and you really can't understand unless you have a toxic, narcissistic parent.)
The reason we're going is to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandparents have always been the rock in my dysfunctional life, and my grandmother wants nothing more than to have her family together. So I will go, and deal with my emotional deficiencies.
And the kids are super excited about seeing their cousins and their grandparents.
And we'll be so busy that I'll have only minimal time to spend with New Wife or my mother.
So, I'll survive. But I'd rather do doc review.
1/12/11
Forgetting to eat
I'm not the kinda girl who likes to miss a meal, but today was the kind of day where I didn't eat anything until 4:45 this afternoon.
I had a potential client meeting first thing morning (looks like I hooked a new client--yay!), and then ran back to the office to prepare for another client meeting. In the two hours in between, I was running around like a crazy person dealing with all of the emergencies that popped up while I was out of the office this morning.
And then I had my second meeting that lasted from 1:00-2:30. Then I immediately launched into negotiations with opposing counsel.
It wasn't until 3:30 that I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day. But by then I was on a short deadline to get an agreement in place so that I could call the court to cancel a hearing that was set for first thing tomorrow morning.
Finally had 5 minutes to scarf down last night's leftover spaghetti at 4:45 before resuming negotiations with opposing counsel. We finally had our agreement set and off to the court by 6:00, and I then spent the next hour and half wrapping up other loose ends.
I could have easily spent another two hours in the office, but I'm exhausted. Hopefully, I can put the time I gained from my canceled hearing to good use tomorrow, because I am buried right now. Hard to believe that just two weeks ago I was watching streaming CLE's at my desk because I didn't have anything else to do.
I had a potential client meeting first thing morning (looks like I hooked a new client--yay!), and then ran back to the office to prepare for another client meeting. In the two hours in between, I was running around like a crazy person dealing with all of the emergencies that popped up while I was out of the office this morning.
And then I had my second meeting that lasted from 1:00-2:30. Then I immediately launched into negotiations with opposing counsel.
It wasn't until 3:30 that I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day. But by then I was on a short deadline to get an agreement in place so that I could call the court to cancel a hearing that was set for first thing tomorrow morning.
Finally had 5 minutes to scarf down last night's leftover spaghetti at 4:45 before resuming negotiations with opposing counsel. We finally had our agreement set and off to the court by 6:00, and I then spent the next hour and half wrapping up other loose ends.
I could have easily spent another two hours in the office, but I'm exhausted. Hopefully, I can put the time I gained from my canceled hearing to good use tomorrow, because I am buried right now. Hard to believe that just two weeks ago I was watching streaming CLE's at my desk because I didn't have anything else to do.
1/7/11
The girls are all right
But, OMG, the mammo was as terrible as purported to be. The tech put each boob in a vice and squeezed until I thought she couldn't squish them anymore, and then she gave it one more crank. I can't believe I'm not sporting titty pancakes now. If you had implants, I'm pretty sure they would have popped.
I wasn't really worried about the mammo beforehand, although I did get a wee bit nervous when after the mammo the tech said that I needed to have a sonogram as well. But after the sono they said that I just have a couple of cysts that are completely normal--exactly like my doc said before they tortured my sweater puppies.
BTW, thanks to the commenters who shared your experiences. It was nice to hear from other women who had it done and everything turned out fine.
I wasn't really worried about the mammo beforehand, although I did get a wee bit nervous when after the mammo the tech said that I needed to have a sonogram as well. But after the sono they said that I just have a couple of cysts that are completely normal--exactly like my doc said before they tortured my sweater puppies.
BTW, thanks to the commenters who shared your experiences. It was nice to hear from other women who had it done and everything turned out fine.
1/4/11
Boobie Issues
So I went to the doc today because I have had this weird intermittent pain in my right breast for about a month now. I can't feel anything lumpy or bumpy, but whenever I bump my boob just right it feels kind of like hitting your funny bone.
Google said it wasn't cancer and I should just take an aspirin and get over it, but it was going on long enough and was uncomfortable enough that I finally sought a professional opinion.
Doc said pretty much the same thing as Google--it's probably normal fibrocystic changes. I can take vitamin E if I want to help with the pain. Not much else to do.
Well, except a baseline mammogram "just in case" and because I've never had one. So now my girls are getting squished on Friday. Not looking forward to that one.
And once again I have dragged myself to the doctor to hear the equivalent of "suck it up, buttercup." I go to the doctor maybe twice a year and I swear there is never anything that can be done for whatever happens to ail me. But I guess that's better than hearing that I'm dying of some dreadful disease.
Google said it wasn't cancer and I should just take an aspirin and get over it, but it was going on long enough and was uncomfortable enough that I finally sought a professional opinion.
Doc said pretty much the same thing as Google--it's probably normal fibrocystic changes. I can take vitamin E if I want to help with the pain. Not much else to do.
Well, except a baseline mammogram "just in case" and because I've never had one. So now my girls are getting squished on Friday. Not looking forward to that one.
And once again I have dragged myself to the doctor to hear the equivalent of "suck it up, buttercup." I go to the doctor maybe twice a year and I swear there is never anything that can be done for whatever happens to ail me. But I guess that's better than hearing that I'm dying of some dreadful disease.
1/2/11
I made a nook cozy!
I searched the internet far and wide for a nook cover. I just didn't like anything that was commercially available--and most of them were ridiculously expensive. I don't want the nook in a cover while I am reading, so I was really looking for a sleeve that I could slip it into when I wasn't using it--and the only sleeves I found were icky neoprene ones on ebay.
So I decided to make my own. I spent about $20 on supplies, but I bought way more of all of my materials than I needed. (DH says I should just make up the extras and sell them on etsy to recoup my cost and contribute to my book fund.)
I used this pattern as a guide, but made a few modifications. First, I made a ribbon-loop closure instead of making the two straps. I also added a pocket--mostly just because I needed a reason to include a cute coordinating fabric, but it does hold my book light. Finally, I used flannel instead of fleece to line my cover, but I attached fusable fleece batting to the outside pieces so that I my nook would be extra cozy and protected.
I heart my nook cozy! I'm so happy with the way it turned out, and I think it's about 1000 times cuter than anything I have seen in stores (including the $125 kate spade cover.)
12/31/10
The last day of the year*
Yesterday was our 15th anniversary. Hard to believe. Hard to remember a time when DH wasn't around. We've really grown up together, from 20-year-old broke college students to 35-year-old professionals and parents of 3.
This year was a tough one with the loss of MIL and the emotional roller-coaster that FIL has been through in the aftermath. Really, the last two years have been hell in this regard.
Professionally, the year has been good for both DH and me. I just got a glowing performance review a raise that would be significant under any circumstances, but is even more meaningful in the current economy.
And I think it has been a good one for the kids. I was so worried about how PS would fare in middle school with her nerdy shyness, but middle school has been great. I'm so impressed with all of the opportunities at her new school, and so far there have been no "mean girl" issues.
Here's hoping for a great 2011.
*Oops, this was yesterday's post. I was distracted and never published.
This year was a tough one with the loss of MIL and the emotional roller-coaster that FIL has been through in the aftermath. Really, the last two years have been hell in this regard.
Professionally, the year has been good for both DH and me. I just got a glowing performance review a raise that would be significant under any circumstances, but is even more meaningful in the current economy.
And I think it has been a good one for the kids. I was so worried about how PS would fare in middle school with her nerdy shyness, but middle school has been great. I'm so impressed with all of the opportunities at her new school, and so far there have been no "mean girl" issues.
Here's hoping for a great 2011.
*Oops, this was yesterday's post. I was distracted and never published.
12/25/10
Almost Perfect Christmas
We spent most of Christmas Eve hanging out a home and baking befor heading out to my Uncle's around dinnertime. My mother was there and I had to deal with her snark and complaining, but it was mostly kept in check. (She did make the exact snarky comment I predicted she would make when she opened the gift certificate we gave to her and her husband. It was kind of funny that I had nailed it so accurately.)
We spent all day today at home, just the five of us, as per our usual routine. Santa spoiled the girls, and we spent the day lounging in our jammies and playing with our new toys. The twins got a flip video camera to share and they have been making mini-movies all afternoon. They also got Scribblish and we laughed a lot while playing. It is so nice to be able to play games with the kids that we enjoy.
I got a nook from DH, but I knew it was coming. We both spent a lot of time deciding between the nook and the Kindle. Ultimately, the nook won out because I didn't care for the proprietary nature of the Kindle. (Yes, I know there is a script I can install to convert other formats for viewing on the Kindle, but I'm not sure about the ethics/legality of it. And it just irritates me that Amazon wants to be all Applesque controlly about buying material to run on its device.)
And DH gave me a Neiman Marcus gift certificate that he won at his employer's Christmas party, so I got to spend my morning shopping for this gorgeous bag. I'm hoping I can fit a couple of file folders in it, because the bag I carry to work every day is beat to hell and I really needed a replacement.
Overall, it was a very good Christmas.
We spent all day today at home, just the five of us, as per our usual routine. Santa spoiled the girls, and we spent the day lounging in our jammies and playing with our new toys. The twins got a flip video camera to share and they have been making mini-movies all afternoon. They also got Scribblish and we laughed a lot while playing. It is so nice to be able to play games with the kids that we enjoy.
I got a nook from DH, but I knew it was coming. We both spent a lot of time deciding between the nook and the Kindle. Ultimately, the nook won out because I didn't care for the proprietary nature of the Kindle. (Yes, I know there is a script I can install to convert other formats for viewing on the Kindle, but I'm not sure about the ethics/legality of it. And it just irritates me that Amazon wants to be all Applesque controlly about buying material to run on its device.)
And DH gave me a Neiman Marcus gift certificate that he won at his employer's Christmas party, so I got to spend my morning shopping for this gorgeous bag. I'm hoping I can fit a couple of file folders in it, because the bag I carry to work every day is beat to hell and I really needed a replacement.
Overall, it was a very good Christmas.
12/21/10
So the crappy product of the day goes to...
the Farberware Candy/Deep Fry thermometer.
DH was bummed about missing his Grandma's peanut brittle since we aren't going to Hometown for Christmas, so I promised him that I would make peanut brittle for him. But my candy thermometer was either lost or broken, so I had to find a replacement before the brittle-making could begin.
I did my huge Christmas grocery shopping trip on Sunday, and I figured I would just pick up a new candy thermometer at the grocery store. The only one they had was the stupid Farberware one. Which looks exactly like a meat thermometer. Every candy thermometer I have ever used before looked like a giant regular thermometer with a clip to hold it in place on the side of your pan. I wasn't thrilled, but it was my only option, so I figured I'd make do.
So last night, I commenced with the brittle making, only to discover that my clipless thermometer was a big fat PITA. As soon as I started stirring my brittle, I knocked the thermometer out of the pan and under the electric burner. And it was freaking hot after sitting in a vat of boiling sugar. And my poofy oven mitt left me especially graceless in trying to retrieve the rogue thermometer from under the burner.
Finally, I got a grip on the thermometer only to drop it head-first into my roiling sugar mix. After a few more graceless moments, I pulled it out, only to find the reading window covered in brittle-goo.
DH, hearing the expletives emanating from the kitchen, came to my rescue and fashioned a cardboard holder to balance the thermometer on the side of my pot. It actually worked fairly well. But, unsurprisingly, my peanut brittle came out slightly burned. (DH says its perfectly edible, but I think maybe he's just being nice.)
I'm thinking I have a products liability claim against Farberware. Well, except that my only damages are $1.37 in burned peanut brittle ingredients. And maybe some emotional distress.
DH was bummed about missing his Grandma's peanut brittle since we aren't going to Hometown for Christmas, so I promised him that I would make peanut brittle for him. But my candy thermometer was either lost or broken, so I had to find a replacement before the brittle-making could begin.
I did my huge Christmas grocery shopping trip on Sunday, and I figured I would just pick up a new candy thermometer at the grocery store. The only one they had was the stupid Farberware one. Which looks exactly like a meat thermometer. Every candy thermometer I have ever used before looked like a giant regular thermometer with a clip to hold it in place on the side of your pan. I wasn't thrilled, but it was my only option, so I figured I'd make do.
So last night, I commenced with the brittle making, only to discover that my clipless thermometer was a big fat PITA. As soon as I started stirring my brittle, I knocked the thermometer out of the pan and under the electric burner. And it was freaking hot after sitting in a vat of boiling sugar. And my poofy oven mitt left me especially graceless in trying to retrieve the rogue thermometer from under the burner.
Finally, I got a grip on the thermometer only to drop it head-first into my roiling sugar mix. After a few more graceless moments, I pulled it out, only to find the reading window covered in brittle-goo.
DH, hearing the expletives emanating from the kitchen, came to my rescue and fashioned a cardboard holder to balance the thermometer on the side of my pot. It actually worked fairly well. But, unsurprisingly, my peanut brittle came out slightly burned. (DH says its perfectly edible, but I think maybe he's just being nice.)
I'm thinking I have a products liability claim against Farberware. Well, except that my only damages are $1.37 in burned peanut brittle ingredients. And maybe some emotional distress.
12/18/10
Saturday
So it seems like my blog is becoming a weekly. That's not really my intent--I just don't seem to have any time anymore. Ever. More often than not, I am getting home after 8:00 p.m. during the week. This is not necessarily because of work. Sometimes it is. Sometimes its because I have to go straight from work to watch PS cheer or to take the twins to girl scouts. It just feels like we are suddenly busier than ever. I don't blog, I don't watch T.V., I've been sitting on my latest Netflix for 6 weeks, and I've been promising a friend to meet up for drinks for at least two months.
So today I slept in until 7:30. (Yes, that's sleeping in. On our cruise I never slept past 7 and usually work up before 6, which did not make DH very happy.) And then I sat on the couch in my PJs and finished up my online Christmas shopping until 12:30. DH was sweet enough to go on a Starbucks run. (I heart Peppermint Mochas!) I finally showered, dressed and brushed my teeth at 1:00 pm. It was so nice not to have anywhere to go or anything I had to do.
DH is having a terrible time shopping for me, and I for him, so I ordered myself this lovely pair of leopard-print shoes. (40% off!) He can wrap them when they come in. Then I ventured out with PS to look for boots for her. I am so thankful that I did 90% of my shopping online. We didn't have much luck with the boots, and I tired of the crowds after about 10 minutes.
I am ready to be done with Christmas and the extra business that it adds. I'm hoping that life will settle down after the holidays, but that may be a pipe dream. (BTW, I just figured out today that "pipe dream" is a drug reference--duh!)
Meanwhile, tonight I'm going to a hockey game with the friend-I-am-supposed- to-meet-for-drinks. (I heart hockey!) And so our drinks will be beer at the hockey game, and it will be fun.
So today I slept in until 7:30. (Yes, that's sleeping in. On our cruise I never slept past 7 and usually work up before 6, which did not make DH very happy.) And then I sat on the couch in my PJs and finished up my online Christmas shopping until 12:30. DH was sweet enough to go on a Starbucks run. (I heart Peppermint Mochas!) I finally showered, dressed and brushed my teeth at 1:00 pm. It was so nice not to have anywhere to go or anything I had to do.
DH is having a terrible time shopping for me, and I for him, so I ordered myself this lovely pair of leopard-print shoes. (40% off!) He can wrap them when they come in. Then I ventured out with PS to look for boots for her. I am so thankful that I did 90% of my shopping online. We didn't have much luck with the boots, and I tired of the crowds after about 10 minutes.
I am ready to be done with Christmas and the extra business that it adds. I'm hoping that life will settle down after the holidays, but that may be a pipe dream. (BTW, I just figured out today that "pipe dream" is a drug reference--duh!)
Meanwhile, tonight I'm going to a hockey game with the friend-I-am-supposed- to-meet-for-drinks. (I heart hockey!) And so our drinks will be beer at the hockey game, and it will be fun.
12/11/10
Math
PS is taking the SAT in January. Yes, she's 12. She's doing it as part of the Duke TIP program, which offers the opportunity to 7th grade students who have received qualifying scores on standardized tests. (PS qualified with every test she has taken over the past two years!) I also took the SAT in the 7th grade through Duke TIP. Waaaay back then you had to score in the 97th percentile on a standardized test to qualify, but I think they have loosened up the requirements a bit, as there were three kids in my school who qualified and many kids from PS's school were chosen to participate. Or maybe it's because I grew up in a much poorer school on the bad side of town, and PS is in a very nice school in a much higher income bracket with excellent resources.
Anyway, I have been getting the SAT question of the day emailed to me so that I can help PS prepare. I have correctly answered every single English question without even thinking about it. And I have no freakin' clue how to begin any of the math questions. Today's question had something to do with lines and angles and tangents and circles. Yeah, not a clue. I'm pretty sure yesterday's question required that I employ the quadratic formula. At least I know there is a quadratic formula, but I couldn't begin to tell you what it is.
I guess it's a good thing that I became a lawyer instead of a rocket scientist, because I have never in my adult life needed to know the quadratic formula. Or how to calculate an angle from a hypotenuse connected by two tangent circles. For that, I am very thankful. And dangit, I can calculate how much 30% plus an extra 15% off a pair of shoes is in about 30 seconds flat. That's way more valuable than knowing how to calculate some stinkin' angle.
Anyway, I have been getting the SAT question of the day emailed to me so that I can help PS prepare. I have correctly answered every single English question without even thinking about it. And I have no freakin' clue how to begin any of the math questions. Today's question had something to do with lines and angles and tangents and circles. Yeah, not a clue. I'm pretty sure yesterday's question required that I employ the quadratic formula. At least I know there is a quadratic formula, but I couldn't begin to tell you what it is.
I guess it's a good thing that I became a lawyer instead of a rocket scientist, because I have never in my adult life needed to know the quadratic formula. Or how to calculate an angle from a hypotenuse connected by two tangent circles. For that, I am very thankful. And dangit, I can calculate how much 30% plus an extra 15% off a pair of shoes is in about 30 seconds flat. That's way more valuable than knowing how to calculate some stinkin' angle.
12/8/10
I'm baaaackkkkk
We reluctantly returned on Sunday from our week-long Caribbean cruise. I'll admit to seriously wondering how hard it would be to become licensed to practice law in Roatan.
Cruising was awesome. I wasn't sure if I would really like it, but I loved it. We had 3.5 sea days and 3 port days. I wouldn't want any more sea days, but there was plenty to do on the ship. We went ice skating, rockwall climbing, saw concerts and did a scavenger hunt all on the ship. Any we earned medals for winning classic rock trivia (all that credit goes to DH--and for the guy who decided Nirvana was classic rock (WTF?)).
And I am so glad we went for the balcony. It was awesome to sit outside sipping a cocktail and reading. And it worked out especially well because it was very windy on the pool deck for most of the trip, and the balcony offered more protection from the wind.
I will say that anyone who says cruise ship food is gourmet is just flat out lying or has no taste buds. The food was plentiful but mediocre. Any average chain restaurant has better food. But mediocre food certainly wasn't going to ruin the experience, and our waiters were more than happy to bring us something new if we didn't care for what was served (or three desserts if that is what our hearts desired.)
My only other complaint is that we were about 30 years younger than the vast majority of our shipmates. Maybe because the kids are in school? But we were seated at dinner with two younger couples who were a lot of fun, and we laughed a lot about being the youngest group on the ship.
The port days were the best part of the trip, though. We stopped in Roatan, Honduras; Belize City, Belize; and Cozumel, Mexico. My favorite port was Roatan. It was just gorgeous there. We went zipling and snorkeling. Our ziplines had breathtaking views of the rain forest and ocean. (Some friends recently went zipling in Hawaii and their course looked downright ugly compared to ours.) Snorkeling was off a reef in the Blue Channel, and it was stunning. Roatan is supposed to have some of the best diving and snorkeling in the world, and I can certainly believe it.
We spent the rest of the afternoon walking a long dirt road known as West End, that is dotted with bars, restaurants and dive shops. I had a cheeseburger in paradise and danced with native schoolchildren.
I was lest impressed with Belize City. The city was very trashy and not pretty, and we had to pass through a security checkpoint manned by soldiers with very big guns. We took an hour-long bus ride, followed by an hour-long boat ride to see the Mayan Ruins at Lamanai. The ruins were amazing. We climbed a huge temple that dates to 100 B.C. I'm so glad that we got to visit this site, although I'm left with little desire to return to Belize (but maybe we just didn't see the best parts).
Our final port was Cozumel. We had pre-reserved at an all inclusive beach resort called Nachi Cocom. The beach was beautiful and the drinks were plentiful. Maybe a little too plentiful. DH got smashed and doesn't even remember how we got back to the ship. It was his first time ever to get drunk--and I learned that my husband is not a mean drunk or a funny drunk, but a horny drunk. I had to keep shushing him as he loudly slurred inappropriate comments.
Overall, I'd rate it the best vacation we've ever taken, and the most relaxed I've been since I had the twins 9 years ago.
Cruising was awesome. I wasn't sure if I would really like it, but I loved it. We had 3.5 sea days and 3 port days. I wouldn't want any more sea days, but there was plenty to do on the ship. We went ice skating, rockwall climbing, saw concerts and did a scavenger hunt all on the ship. Any we earned medals for winning classic rock trivia (all that credit goes to DH--and for the guy who decided Nirvana was classic rock (WTF?)).
And I am so glad we went for the balcony. It was awesome to sit outside sipping a cocktail and reading. And it worked out especially well because it was very windy on the pool deck for most of the trip, and the balcony offered more protection from the wind.
I will say that anyone who says cruise ship food is gourmet is just flat out lying or has no taste buds. The food was plentiful but mediocre. Any average chain restaurant has better food. But mediocre food certainly wasn't going to ruin the experience, and our waiters were more than happy to bring us something new if we didn't care for what was served (or three desserts if that is what our hearts desired.)
My only other complaint is that we were about 30 years younger than the vast majority of our shipmates. Maybe because the kids are in school? But we were seated at dinner with two younger couples who were a lot of fun, and we laughed a lot about being the youngest group on the ship.
The port days were the best part of the trip, though. We stopped in Roatan, Honduras; Belize City, Belize; and Cozumel, Mexico. My favorite port was Roatan. It was just gorgeous there. We went zipling and snorkeling. Our ziplines had breathtaking views of the rain forest and ocean. (Some friends recently went zipling in Hawaii and their course looked downright ugly compared to ours.) Snorkeling was off a reef in the Blue Channel, and it was stunning. Roatan is supposed to have some of the best diving and snorkeling in the world, and I can certainly believe it.
We spent the rest of the afternoon walking a long dirt road known as West End, that is dotted with bars, restaurants and dive shops. I had a cheeseburger in paradise and danced with native schoolchildren.
I was lest impressed with Belize City. The city was very trashy and not pretty, and we had to pass through a security checkpoint manned by soldiers with very big guns. We took an hour-long bus ride, followed by an hour-long boat ride to see the Mayan Ruins at Lamanai. The ruins were amazing. We climbed a huge temple that dates to 100 B.C. I'm so glad that we got to visit this site, although I'm left with little desire to return to Belize (but maybe we just didn't see the best parts).
Our final port was Cozumel. We had pre-reserved at an all inclusive beach resort called Nachi Cocom. The beach was beautiful and the drinks were plentiful. Maybe a little too plentiful. DH got smashed and doesn't even remember how we got back to the ship. It was his first time ever to get drunk--and I learned that my husband is not a mean drunk or a funny drunk, but a horny drunk. I had to keep shushing him as he loudly slurred inappropriate comments.
Overall, I'd rate it the best vacation we've ever taken, and the most relaxed I've been since I had the twins 9 years ago.
11/25/10
Thankful
For my three beautiful, healthy, smart, funny, well-behaved girls. We are very, very fortunate in the kid department.
For my awesome hubby who has tolerated my control-freak craziness for almost 15 years.
For having a good job in a bad economy.
For having a very normal life despite (or maybe because of) my drama-filled childhood.
For being able to spend today with my hubby and my girlies doing nothing and ordering in.
For weather cool enough to build a fire.
It's been a rough year. This time last year we were travelling to visit the in-laws while MIL was being treated at a cancer center. We didn't realize how dire MIL's circumstances were until that weekend, and even then, we thought we'd have her at least until summer. By January she was in hospice, and we spent the next month traveling back and forth to hometown.
Unfortunately, the stress and drama didn't end with MIL's passing. FIL's sudden return to dating, followed by a marraige less than four months after MIL died put the entire family into a tailspin. And then FIL entered a deep depression from which he still has not emerged.
So we're not really looking forward to this holiday season--but it will be nice to get past it. And I am especially grateful for my drama-free day at home with DH and the girls.
For my awesome hubby who has tolerated my control-freak craziness for almost 15 years.
For having a good job in a bad economy.
For having a very normal life despite (or maybe because of) my drama-filled childhood.
For being able to spend today with my hubby and my girlies doing nothing and ordering in.
For weather cool enough to build a fire.
It's been a rough year. This time last year we were travelling to visit the in-laws while MIL was being treated at a cancer center. We didn't realize how dire MIL's circumstances were until that weekend, and even then, we thought we'd have her at least until summer. By January she was in hospice, and we spent the next month traveling back and forth to hometown.
Unfortunately, the stress and drama didn't end with MIL's passing. FIL's sudden return to dating, followed by a marraige less than four months after MIL died put the entire family into a tailspin. And then FIL entered a deep depression from which he still has not emerged.
So we're not really looking forward to this holiday season--but it will be nice to get past it. And I am especially grateful for my drama-free day at home with DH and the girls.
11/14/10
Fearing for our Future
So a few weeks ago our local bar association put out a call for attorneys to teach law for half a day to middle or high school students. And for some inexplicable reason, I was compelled to sign up for this.
"Don't worry," they said, "We'll give you a curriculum."
Yeah, they gave me a curriculum--covering the 4th Amendment. I'm a commercial litigation attorney. The 4th Amendment NEVER comes up in my practice area. EVER. But I read the curriculum, and did a little brushing up the night before, and got a pretty good handle on what I would be speaking about.
Anyway, I can't say it went well. I was assigned to speak to two 10th grade classes in a not-so-great part of town. There was no diversity--every single kid in both of the classes I spoke to was Hispanic. (I suspect I was assigned to this school because my married surname is Spanish.) The kids were completely checked out and apathetic. I'm not a teacher and I'm not the most engaging speaker in the world, but nothing I did could grab these kids' attention.
I tried to ask questions, find something they were interested in, but got very little reaction no matter what path I wandered down. When it was clear they had little interest in legal issues, I tried talking to them about higher education and getting in to college--but going to college did not appear to be in any of their futures. I've spoken to my kids' classes before, and worked with 6th graders in an inner city school and I have never had this much trouble getting kids' attention.
The only kid who asked any questions was one who made it clear that he had plenty of experience with the legal system and he kept asking me specific crim law hypotheticals, mostly related to when and under what circumstances he was allowed to shoot someone.
I left frustrated and trying to figure out what I should have done differently. And a little annoyed that I had just wasted half my day when my schedule is jam-packed right now. I called my teacher brother to whine, and he said what I was feeling but hadn't figured out how to put into words--this school had already given up on these kids--and nothing I could say was going to change anything.
"Don't worry," they said, "We'll give you a curriculum."
Yeah, they gave me a curriculum--covering the 4th Amendment. I'm a commercial litigation attorney. The 4th Amendment NEVER comes up in my practice area. EVER. But I read the curriculum, and did a little brushing up the night before, and got a pretty good handle on what I would be speaking about.
Anyway, I can't say it went well. I was assigned to speak to two 10th grade classes in a not-so-great part of town. There was no diversity--every single kid in both of the classes I spoke to was Hispanic. (I suspect I was assigned to this school because my married surname is Spanish.) The kids were completely checked out and apathetic. I'm not a teacher and I'm not the most engaging speaker in the world, but nothing I did could grab these kids' attention.
I tried to ask questions, find something they were interested in, but got very little reaction no matter what path I wandered down. When it was clear they had little interest in legal issues, I tried talking to them about higher education and getting in to college--but going to college did not appear to be in any of their futures. I've spoken to my kids' classes before, and worked with 6th graders in an inner city school and I have never had this much trouble getting kids' attention.
The only kid who asked any questions was one who made it clear that he had plenty of experience with the legal system and he kept asking me specific crim law hypotheticals, mostly related to when and under what circumstances he was allowed to shoot someone.
I left frustrated and trying to figure out what I should have done differently. And a little annoyed that I had just wasted half my day when my schedule is jam-packed right now. I called my teacher brother to whine, and he said what I was feeling but hadn't figured out how to put into words--this school had already given up on these kids--and nothing I could say was going to change anything.
11/7/10
If you like Pina Coladas...
Most of last month I just kind of rolled along and wasn't especially busy. And then last week I got hit with motions and discovery out the wazoo. And of course every single deadline falls during the week that I am on vacation. So while I was already cramming 4 weeks into 3 this month, I am now cramming 4 very busy weeks in to 3.
And Boss informed me on Friday that he wants me to file a petition ASAP. A basic petition is usually something I can knock out in a few of hours. Except this one requires a particular supporting affidavit. And there is a newly enacted statute regarding the contents of the supporting affidavit. And there have been at least a dozen opinions in the last 8 months regarding the old statute and comparing it to the new statute. And there is a circuit split on how to interpret the statute--but my circuit hasn't ruled yet. So I have to figure out how to draft the affidavit so that it is enforceable under the new statute and under both sides of the split. Which means I am putting in a ton of hours researching before I can even start on what should be a super-simple petition.
And DH just left for a business trip. So I'm on my own with the girls for half this week--which will make the long hours I need to put in this week more challenging.
I guess the good news is that I won't have any trouble making my hours even though I'll be taking off for a week. And it's a hell of a lot easier to take being in the office at 9 p.m. when I know that in a month I will be sitting on a beach in the Caribbean drinking Pina Coladas .
And Boss informed me on Friday that he wants me to file a petition ASAP. A basic petition is usually something I can knock out in a few of hours. Except this one requires a particular supporting affidavit. And there is a newly enacted statute regarding the contents of the supporting affidavit. And there have been at least a dozen opinions in the last 8 months regarding the old statute and comparing it to the new statute. And there is a circuit split on how to interpret the statute--but my circuit hasn't ruled yet. So I have to figure out how to draft the affidavit so that it is enforceable under the new statute and under both sides of the split. Which means I am putting in a ton of hours researching before I can even start on what should be a super-simple petition.
And DH just left for a business trip. So I'm on my own with the girls for half this week--which will make the long hours I need to put in this week more challenging.
I guess the good news is that I won't have any trouble making my hours even though I'll be taking off for a week. And it's a hell of a lot easier to take being in the office at 9 p.m. when I know that in a month I will be sitting on a beach in the Caribbean drinking Pina Coladas .
11/2/10
Think they did this on purpose?
Just got served with an MSJ and the response is due on the day after Thanksgiving. Which also happens to be the first full day of my cruise. And the response is due the first day after I get back.
Intentionally scheduling a response deadline on a day following a holiday reeks of assholiosis. And since there has been dead silence on this case for months, I can't help but think it was intentional.
Unfortunately for the other side, I am not an procrastinator, so I will have my response drafted by the end of this week. And I am confident that I can obliterate their MSJ.
Intentionally scheduling a response deadline on a day following a holiday reeks of assholiosis. And since there has been dead silence on this case for months, I can't help but think it was intentional.
Unfortunately for the other side, I am not an procrastinator, so I will have my response drafted by the end of this week. And I am confident that I can obliterate their MSJ.
10/28/10
Trying to ruin my kid's life
PS is in her school's robotics club and their first competition is on Saturday. PS has been going into school early and staying late almost every day for the past two weeks working on the robot. A few weeks ago she brought home a release that was required for her to participate in the competition this weekend.
Now, I don't usually mess around with the releases for my kids' activities. But this one contained a broad-form indemnity clause. I'm 90% sure that the form was drafted by a nonlawyer who lifted some legalese from some another document and threw it into this release because it sounded good without any appreciation for the legal effect of the language. So I modified it because there was no way in heck I was giving broad form indemnity, but they still got a very broad release (that I would never agree to if I were negotiating a contract.)
Anyway, today, two days before the competition, PS texted me, "I can't participate in the robotics competition because you modified the form." I know she was furious with me, and I was envisioning her trying not to cry in front of her friends.
So I jumped into mama bear action. First I emailed her teacher for the contact information of the competition organizers. Then I consulted a co-worker who told me just to sign the damn form (and he agreed to defend me if I get sued). Besides, broad-form indemnity isn't enforceable except under very certain circumstances in my state, and this form didn't meet those circumstances. When I didn't hear back from the teacher in an hour, I started searching the internet for the organizers' contact info. I sent sweet-as-pie emails (as opposed to my typical aggressive-lawyer emails) to three different people begging them to allow my daughter to participate.
Everyone I emailed responded by the end of the day and they were all very, very nice and helpful, although I'm sure they all think I'm a crazy helicopter mom. Unfortunately, the form is required by the university hosting the event, so I can't change it (and I really didn't push the issue because I'd rather risk an unreasonable indemnity clause than have PS thinking that I ruined her life.)
So all is good and PS can participate. Let's just hope nothing happens that could trigger that indemnity provision.
Now, I don't usually mess around with the releases for my kids' activities. But this one contained a broad-form indemnity clause. I'm 90% sure that the form was drafted by a nonlawyer who lifted some legalese from some another document and threw it into this release because it sounded good without any appreciation for the legal effect of the language. So I modified it because there was no way in heck I was giving broad form indemnity, but they still got a very broad release (that I would never agree to if I were negotiating a contract.)
Anyway, today, two days before the competition, PS texted me, "I can't participate in the robotics competition because you modified the form." I know she was furious with me, and I was envisioning her trying not to cry in front of her friends.
So I jumped into mama bear action. First I emailed her teacher for the contact information of the competition organizers. Then I consulted a co-worker who told me just to sign the damn form (and he agreed to defend me if I get sued). Besides, broad-form indemnity isn't enforceable except under very certain circumstances in my state, and this form didn't meet those circumstances. When I didn't hear back from the teacher in an hour, I started searching the internet for the organizers' contact info. I sent sweet-as-pie emails (as opposed to my typical aggressive-lawyer emails) to three different people begging them to allow my daughter to participate.
Everyone I emailed responded by the end of the day and they were all very, very nice and helpful, although I'm sure they all think I'm a crazy helicopter mom. Unfortunately, the form is required by the university hosting the event, so I can't change it (and I really didn't push the issue because I'd rather risk an unreasonable indemnity clause than have PS thinking that I ruined her life.)
So all is good and PS can participate. Let's just hope nothing happens that could trigger that indemnity provision.
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