We survived out impromptu Thanksgiving weekend. Actually, my take-out dinner turned out pretty darn good. May have to start a new tradition--no prep work, no clean up.
We were glad to spend time with the inlaws, but the weekend was very stressful. MIL is not doing well. She is extremely thin and is on so many drugs that she was in a fog much of the time we were there.
They are very fortunate to be staying at the home of a friend-of-a-friend. She has graciously offered to host my inlaws the last few times they have had to visit the cancer center. It is a huge savings in lodging costs and it provides a much more home-like setting. And speaking of the kindness of almost-strangers, one of our fellow MILPs invited us to Thanksgiving when she heard about our last minute trip. We had to decline, but it was such a nice gesture. What a great group of ladies we have!
We didn't want to overwhelm MIL with the kids (or keep them cooped up too long in a strangers house) so I took them to a wonderful local park where we visited the zoo and rode a pedal boat. The girls also enjoyed swimming in the hotel pool. Overall though, it was a stressful trip.
It became apparent that this is likely MILs last round of holidays. FIL told DH that he thought she only had a few months left--and he told us today that he asked the doctor about hospice care and the doc agreed that it might be time for it.
There is just this overwhelming sense of unfairness. MIL is only 54. She has never smoked or taken so much as a sip of alcohol (FIL won't even eat food cooked in alcohol--and it isn't a religious thing--they're catholic!). She was in good shape, not overweight, and took a walk every evening. And MIL is one of the most moral and faithful people I have ever met. She just doesn't deserve this long, painful ending to her life.
I guess this is part of the reason I don't believe in god. How could a good and merciful god do this to one of his most faithful followers?
Anyway, we are still struggling with what comes next. It is hard to imagine DH's family--and especially his dad-- without his mom. And even though she is only my "in law," I have been part of DH's family for almost half my life--and my in-laws have been there many times when my own parents were not.
5 comments:
I am so sorry. 54 is so young.
It is always comforting to know that people are willing to help when you need it. She is way too young to succumb to cancer. Not that there's ever a good age to lose a beloved spouse/parent/grand-parent, but it seems unfair to lose one so young. My heart goes out to you and your family.
First, please allow me to send you caring thoughts in regards to your family, MIL and everyone for all they have been through. A difficult time for everyone, in a different way for each one. It seems unjust and hard to bare it all. My brother just passed at age 55,my parents are gone, many friends too. People like myself, you and others have lost loved ones, too young, too precious, too soon. I know you said that you don't believe in a god. It is times like this that it helps us to believe in something, in someone. I wish you strength and comfort as you and your loved ones go thru this illness, and guidance to find your way.
That is too young to be so ill. I hope that you all are able to do as much as you can together in the time there is left.
Thank you all for your kind words. One Woman, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. It must be so difficult to have lost so much of your family.
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