What would you do?

Big Boss called me yesterday at about 5:30--maybe 20 minutes after he left the office (I almost wonder if he was checking to see if I was still there. It's true that when he stays past 5:30 I usually take off about 5 minutes after he does. Maybe somebody clued him in.)

Anyway, he said, "I was thinking about Case, and there is this issue [] that I think you need to look into."

And I said, "OK, I'll have an answer for you by Monday."

And he said, "Don't kill yourself, Monday afternoon or Tuesday is fine. But just to let you know I'll be in tomorrow [Saturday]. Me and Partner and Another Partner. But I'm not saying that you need to come in. I'm just letting you know that I'll be here if you need anything."

Yeah--I'm totally going in. I don't really want to--but I was already planning to work this weekend from home anyway.

Email from PS . . .

I was totally cracking up in my office when I got this.

My Sage field trip is tomorrow and none of us know it so I need a THROW AWAY lunch. Could you please buy me one on your way home from work? I am sending this to both mom & dad so you might need to work out an agreement. Lucy [the nanny] is on my tail so i cannot call you.


If you can get me a lunch call me or if in a hurry just get the hot dog lunchables* but i would like to know what they have since I get that EVERY SINGLE TIME

Call me if you get this message or I will Call you at about 4:30

*For the record, I only buy lunchables once or twice a year when the kids have a field trip and their lunch has to be disposable. I think they are nutritional wastelands. And I sent her with tons of fresh fruit and veggies to counter-balance to dreaded lunchable.

Alone

Our offices were officially closed today due to inclement weather. (Yeah, that never happens.) But the roads defrosted around noon and I headed in anyway. I was expecting a call from a client, I am insanely busy, and I have to be out of the office all day tomorrow for an evidence examination out of town.

I have to say that I love working when my office is deserted. I get so much more done. And the silence . . . it always drove DH nuts when I was in school because I have to study in complete silence. I also prefer to work in silence--which is hard to come by in the office unless I shut my office door (which nobody does unless they are on a conference call.) But it was silent and peaceful while I was working today.

And tomorrow I get to log 6 hours of billable time alone, rocking out in my car. Doesn't get much better than that.

I swear I live in a sitcom--a bad, dark sitcom

Work sucked again today. Work is sucking a lot lately--and not related to my screw-up last week (If you don't know what I'm talking about you're out of luck because in a flash of sensibility I pulled that post. If you do know what I'm talking about, I may have made it out to be worse than it really was.) I'm tired of work sucking--life is better when I like my job.

I had to stop by the store on the way home to pick up necessaries (but snaps to Target--I was hauling my stuff out to the car, and a kid ran out after me, offered to help unload my cart and took my cart so that I didn't have to stay out in the icy cold rain longer than necessary. That is why I heart Target!) and finally made it home about 7:30.

To find a trial of bloody kitty prints from the entry, all the way up the stairs to SS's bedroom, where there was blood everywhere, including splattered all over the door. It looked like there had been a kitty massacre.

What actually happened is that we had the cats neutered and declawed* late last week. We left the cats locked in SS's room today to keep Bob from messing with them while nobody was home. Apparently Harley started chewing on his paw, opening one of his wounds, and took off down the stairs as soon as the girls got home and let them home.

And PS was still working on her insanely difficult math homework--that took both DH and I almost an hour, and there was still one problem we couldn't answer.

Which left me with about 30 seconds to spend with the twins before they were off to bed and I had to start entering my time for the week (my least favorite chore ever!)

But to top off this marvelous day, FIL called DH to report on MIL's CT-guided biopsy last week. Apparently the docs can't agree on whether it is cancer or not. It looks like cancer on the scans, but the biopsy showed no metastasis. The surgeon wants another biopsy ASAP. And he is talking about having to take a kidney in order to remove this tumor--whatever the hell it is. At least they are finally talking about sending her to an expert in a Big City instead of the Three Stooges in Hickville continuing to screw-up her diagnoses.

*Declawing is brutal! I don't think I could ever do it to another cat again. I knew going in that it was somewhat controversial--but I didn't think it would be that bad. It looks like the poor kitties stuck their toes in a lawn-mower. I feel so terrible for them. And I am seriously questioning our vet's abilities.

Luau!

Back in July I promised the twins that if we kept their birthday low-key I would let them have a big party with all of their friends at their half-birthday. The time has come.

I talked them into a Luau party--because I have always wanted to throw one and it seemed like a nice break in the middle of a dreary winter. I've ordered grass skirts and leis for all the girls, and we went shopping for decorations yesterday.

But this stupid invitation has been the bane of my existence today. I tend to go a little Martha Stewart when making invitations and bring out my scrapbook stuff--vellum, ribbons, glitter--all things girlie. But I thought this time, in an effort to save our budget (largely consumed by grass skirts and leis) that I would take the easy route and go all digital. Ha! I have lost half my day fiddling with this thing, dealing with one crisis after another. I should have just stuck to habit--printing on vellum tied to cardstock with a pretty ribbon takes 30 minutes and always looks fabulous.

By the way--does anyone know if two people are hosting a party whether both names should be possessive or only the second? Eg.-- Beth's and Mary's party or Beth and Mary's party.

Also, if any one has any great Luau ideas--especially related to food--please post them. I think we'll do lots of fruit--but I stop at roasting a pig!

Craziness

Three of our big cases are really ramping up and several smaller cases are moving along at a steady clip. One week next month our entire practice group will be in different towns covering depos and court appearances. I think I have to travel out-of-town at least once a week for the next month (but most of it doesn't require an overnight).

Meanwhile, my nanny informed me at least two weeks ago that she needs the first week of February off, and I've been so busy that I completely forgot. So now I am scrambling to find back-up care in the next two weeks. I contacted the sitter that we used over the summer only to find that she has moved out of state! I'm going to try an online referral service to try to find a local high school or college student.

Career Day

So I was indeed the only female speaker at dad's career day (at least in the 3 classes that I spoke to, and I didn't see any other non-PTA moms wandering the halls.)

I am highly agitated by this. I emailed the principal this afternoon and received a non-response "Thanks for your concerns, we'll consider your suggestions in the future." Basically a brush-off. I have never contacted the principal to complain (although she knows who I am from other meetings), and I am really irritated that she didn't take me seriously.

But I still had a good time. I thought that it would be easiest to explain what I do to my 5th grader's class. But apparently by the 5th grade they have already developed that pre-teen apathy and seemed totally bored and disengaged.

My second graders' classes were awesome, though! The little kids were so funny, asked great questions and seemed genuinely interested. And every kid in SS's class made me a thank-you card. They are adorable and totally made my day.

Yea Starbucks!

Earlier this week I tried to use a Starbucks card that DH had put in my Christmas Stocking. I hadn't used the card before, so I was surprised when the cashier informed me that I still owed $2.xx on my $6.xx purchase.

It turns out that the card balance was only $3.41. So, I paid cash for my coffee took the card back home.

DH said that he put $20 on the card--but the receipt was nowhere to be found. So I called the number on the back of the card anyway, hoping that maybe they could pull up the credit card transaction and credit me the proper amount.

The very friendly Starbucks rep informed me that only $3.41 had even been put onto the card. DH explained the transaction, so she tried to pull it up. But apparently this particular Starbucks (its in a gas station) is a franchise and not in their system.

But Starbucks credited the difference back to the card anyway!!! I was stunned--I thought that we were just going to have to eat the loss. So yea Starbucks for excellent CSR.

What decade is it, again?

I got a call last weekend informing me that I had signed up to speak at career day, and volunteer coordinator informed me that they were combining it with Dad's day because the kids think it is cool to see dad's around the school instead of the usual moms. This struck me as a little strange--but, ok.

Today I see the flyer about Career Day, which is hailed as "Dad's Career Day on Campus." It then reads "We invite all dads, granddads, uncles & big brothers to participate in our Dad's Career Day on Campus."

WTF???

Apparently only dads have careers. (I can guarantee that there will be no "Moms Career Day," and it is nonsensical to split career days by the sexes, anyway.)

So on the one hand I will be the mom crashing Dads Career Day. And on the other hand, I feel that it is even more important that I attend Career Day--because these kids REALLY need to see that women can have careers, too.

I am royally pissed about the way this is being handled. I really hope that I am missing something and there will be other career moms around tomorrow. But I think a chat with the principal is warranted.

Meanwhile, I have to figure out how to explain what a lawyer does to a room full of 7 year olds.

Question...

My secretary's father-in-law just passed away. Do I send something?

Another entry in my baby lawyer book

My name was added to a pleading for the first time today. Yes, sad but true, I have never been listed on a pleading. Which confuses opposing counsel and courts when I show up and they have no freaking clue who I am.

I have been working with opposing counsel in Rural Suckville to coordinate depositions and a scene inspection at his clients' farms to inspect an allegedly defective agricultural product. A few weeks ago I attempted to discuss a specific legal point with him, and he kept dodging saying that he wanted to speak with Partner. Finally, I said, ok, I'll have him call you, but the answer that you are looking forward is at [cite to code].

And Mr. Opposing Counsel says, "LC--are you an attorney???"

"Umm, yes, I am."

"Oh dear, I just assumed that you were a secretary or paralegal."

Gee, thanks.

Anyway, today I was talking him to confirm our scene inspection next week, and he said, "Oh, I guess you are going to get the chance to see some [Rural Suckville] farmland," in a tone that clearly indicated that a Big City secretary/lawyer can't have possibly ever seen a farm before.

To which I responded, "Actually I went to school in [Rural Suckville] and grew up in [Town close to Rural Suckville], so I am well acquainted with the farmland in that part of the world."

Happiness is Rural Suckville in your rearview mirror. But being the high powered big city lawyer that I am, I will be returning next week to tour the farmland.

Fuck.

MIL's cancer is back. Even though the stupid moronic doctor that she saw a week ago said that there was no sign of cancer. She has already fought off this shit twice--and she's only 53. They said that its too deep to biopsy and plan to start chemo again. Fortunately, she is being referred to another oncologist who specializes in this type of cancer--since the three stooges who have been treating her for the last month haven't been able to get it right.

Where to go?

Since we just celebrated our 13th anniversary, DH and I have been discussing what to do for our 15th anniversary. I was in law school for our 10th and finances were tight, so we didn't do anything special. I think we are due for a big trip.

The problem is that we are the most un-traveled people in the world. We can count on both hands the number of states that we have visited and neither of us has ever left the country. (We thought the beach sounded boring and opted for Disney World for our honeymoon all those years ago--and it was great fun!)

And I want to see everything! We are considering Europe, Africa, Tahiti, Hawaii, Australia. . . . Of course, we have plenty of time to decide, but I am just so overwhelmed with all of our options. I kind of want to a cruise around the Greek islands--but it doesn't look like it is offered in December. And I'd like to see Rome, but didn't realize that it is so far from Greece and Paris. London and Paris are an option, but there is so much history, I think we might prefer to take that trip with the kids.

I'd also like to do an African safari (the photo kind, not the hunting kind.) But I don't think DH is too into Africa, and I don't know that Africa is an ideal travel location right now.

And when I was looking at those Greek cruises, I found cruises around the Tahitian islands and Bora Bora looks so gorgeous that I'm thinking something warm, exotic and beachy seems pretty sweet! (Cruises are appealing to me because you can leave all your stuff and come back to the same room each night while getting to see lots of different places.)

So, dear reader(s), if you have traveled to any far and fabulous places, please share your recommendations so that I can narrow my choices over the next two years.

13 years is a long time.

And today, that's how long I have been married.

I've made more than a few bad decisions in my life, but I seemed to do pretty well with picking a spouse. Actually, it's something of a miracle that I managed to find someone who's willing to put up with me!

We're keeping it low-key this year--since we been lucky enough to have a few kid-free nights out in recent weeks and, quite frankly, we're tired of spending money. But we'll go to dinner with the rugrats tonight and a lovely bouquet just arrived at my front door.

Can't a girl take a day off?

So I took off from Christmas Eve through New Year's Day. Litigation tends to be slow during the holidays, and I know that January is already shaping up to be quite hectic. So I thought I'd take the opportunity to hang out with my girlies (and save the cash that full-day child care would cost.)

But I have received a flurry of emails over the last two days. I think Big Boss is freaking out because because his paralegal and I are both out of the office. Most of the emails that he has sent involve issues that are fully under control. We have no firm deadlines until mid-January--although I assured him last week that I would have preliminary drafts ready by Jan 5.

Hopefully my email reassurances are sufficient to convince him that all is well.

Home Sweet Home

We survived the trip to Hometown and it was a whirlwind. We spent Friday night with DH's sibs, Saturday morning and afternoon with my dad's family and Saturday night with my mother. Sunday morning we hung out with DH's parents and his sister who was home with a sick baby on Friday, then visited with my mom's parents before heading out of town.

Saturday was my Grandfather's 81st birthday and it was the first time he has had all of his kids, grands and greats together. I don't think he could have been any happier. My dad and his sister hate each other, so we don't have big family get togethers. (My dad was subpoenaed to testify against his sister's husband before the grand jury, which led to the husband's (white-collar) felony indictment and eventual conviction and vacation to the federal pen. She blames my dad--and I don't think my dad was too fond of her before all of this.)

I got to see my cousin, who is the same age as me. We were great friends as kids, but grew apart as teens and rarely see each other now. We used to torment my grandmother endlessly. Interestingly, we both ended up having identical twin girls. My cousin said it was our punishment for what we used to do to my grandmother. Maybe she's right. The two sets of twins had great fun playing together--it's too bad they don't get to see each other more.

We were supposed to stay through Monday, but MIL looked so worn out that we took off Sunday afternoon instead. Apparently she was feeling much better last Tuesday, but once she acclimated to her new medication, she hasn't felt quite as good. And although the docs have ruled out cancer, they still haven't figured out what is causing her problem and she is still in a lot of pain. (I tried to gently suggest a second opinion, but MIL and FIL are very protective of their doctors. I think they are of the generation that believes doctors are always right and are still somewhat intimidated by them. Sigh.)

Anyway, we were trying to be helpful by giving MIL some peace since I know she was overdoing it while we were there and the kids were pretty wound up--but she cried when we left and made me feel like an ogre.

We also brought back my niece who is the same age as the twins. Her dad has to travel a lot and got stuck at the airport and couldn't make it home for Christmas. She was taking it hard, and we thought some time with her cousins might take her mind off not getting to see her dad. The girls have been playing Guitar Hero world tour since we got home (like Rockband), and they are hilarious.

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone had a joyful holiday.

The girlies have been little angels since yesterday afternoon. We went to my uncle's house last night, where my kiddos were the only kids around and they were perfect--even while we were having an adults only gift exchange. We had let them open one gift beforehand, just to keep them occupied. The twins got Barbie MP3 players, which they LOVE (in addition to playing music, they look like dolls and have clothes and accessories that you can change out) and PS got a Flypen, which I'm not sure she's figured out yet.

Then my aunt gave them old school weaving looms, and they spent the entire evening and most of today making woven potholders. I find it rather amusing that with all of the fancy electronics they received, they have spent the most time on those weaving looms.

The girls seemed genuinely appreciative of the gifts they received from Santa this morning. I got DH a guitar and he got me a red Dooney & Burke purse. I'm not a label snob, but I will only carry leather purses, and I loved the look of this one. And we happened to stumble on it in Macy's when it was 30% off plus an extra 20% off--so a great deal. (Yeah--I told DH to get it and knew what I was getting ahead of time.)

So, per our usually protocol we spend Christmas day at home in our jammies. I had intended to make a decent dinner, but we were all so lazy that I just ended up making a giant pot of homemade mac 'n cheese--yum! But now I have to finish our packing and wrapping because tomorrow we leave for hometown, which will be 3 days of nonstop Chirstmas celebrations. We usually go to the movies on Christmas day, but with getting ready to leave town, it's just not happening this year.

And I am a teeny bit irritated w/ MIL (who I love--really!) because she just informed DH that she intends to take pictures of all of us in our nice holiday clothes when we get together tomorrow evening. Yeah--we have a 7 hour drive tomorrow and will be arriving only shortly before this get-together. And I generally travel with a ponytail, no make-up and my sweats. So I'm going to have to get up extra early to make myself beautiful in the morning--so I can spend the next 7 hours in the car--or I can try to squeeze in an hour-and-a-half's worth of showering, hair flattening, and kid readying into half an hour before all of DH's sibs show up at MIL's. And we can't leave any earlier in the morning because we have to drop off the critters for boarding.

Oh, and for anyone who's still reading, and wondering what happened with MIL's health issues, she had an appointment with her oncologist on Tuesday who said there was no indication of any cancer anywhere. We were all holding our breath waiting to hear this for the last 2 weeks. They aren't sure what IS causing her issues, but they have put her on a different medication and she is feeling much, much better.

Toothpaste for Santa

We're waiting out the kiddos we can do the Santa thing. I am pooped and really just want to go to bed, but that's not gonna happen any time soon.

SS insisted on leaving toothpaste for Santa. Because in the letter he sent, he mentioned that he was packing his toothbrush, but didn't mention toothpaste. She also left him water to rinse with, along with his milk and cookies.

TT made sure the reindeer were hooked up with carrots and wrote a note asking Santa how he gets all the way around the whole world in one night. I guess I need to figure out an answer to that one.

I am the meanest mom in the whole world.

I have been begging, pleading and screaming at my kids for the last two days to clean their rooms. They have been rotten little brats for the last two weeks who completely refuse to do what they are told. And they have a huge case of the gimmes. I refuse to raise bratty kids!

I have been so tempted to leave lumps of coal in their stockings this year. That would really make me the meanest mom in the world. But they aren't truly bad kids. They are kind to others, they do well in school, their teachers say they are angels . . . apparently the rottenness only comes out at home. But it makes me so mad to have spent a ton of money buying them all the stuff they really, really want just to have them act like ungrateful brats.

So tonight, when I got home at 9:00 and their rooms still weren't clean after DH had been yelling at them for the last two hours we decided to go extreme. I told them they had 5 minutes to finish their room or I was taking one of their Christmas presents back to the store.

And they didn't get it done, so I pulled out two Webkinz, showed them to the girls and said, "Well, you were getting this for Christmas. But now they're going back to the store and some other kids who take care of their toys can have them."

Then I reset the kitchen timer for 5 more minutes and told them that they would lose 2 more toys every 5 minutes until their room is done. (Well, DH though 5 minutes was not enough--so he made it 15 minutes.)

The thing is, I HATE doing this. I knew that SS really, really wanted this particular Webkinz that you can't find in any of the stores around here. It bums me out to take away something that I was really looking forward to giving them. I don't buy toys for the kids the rest of the year (except birthdays) so I go waaay overboard at Christmas because I love buying for them so much.

But they just are getting that if they don't take care of their things they aren't getting any new ones. Aargghhh!

Update: So the timer just went off again, and I asked what happened to the toy baskets that were in the floor. "We put them away." "Umm, where." "In the closet." So I go to their giant walk-in closet to find it piled 3 feet high with all of the crap they were supposed to be cleaning up!!!

Facebook weirdness

So, being the uncool thirty-something that I am, I have only recently joined Facebook. (Thanks a lot PT--I totally blame you!)

Anyway, the first person to request me as a friend came out of the clear blue sky. It was a guy that I knew in high school but wasn't really friends with. We didn't have any classes together but we went to the same church. I think he may have kinda liked me, but I had zero interest in him. And, oh yeah, his dad and my mom dated for a while.

Since I didn't have a huge connection with this guy, it seemed strange that he would seek me out as a friend on Facebook. But DH assured me that I probably just came up as a potential friend when he was looking at our high school and it was no big deal.

Anyway, tonight his dad emails me via facebook and wants me to pass along his info to my mom so that he can say "hi!." I have no idea if he knows that my mom is now on hubby #3. Or that I speak to my mom approximately twice a year.

So, who knew that facebook could be used to help your mom hook up with old boyfriends?