Do not shout to whatever random deity may be listening, "Can you please throw a little more shit at me? Please?" Because, the answer is "Yes." It can always get worse.
DH and I hopped in the car today to run an errand. About 30 seconds after we pulled out of the driveway, the A/C stopped blowing cold air. It wasn't even blowing lukewarm air. It was blowing HOT air.
At about the same time, the thermometer on our patio was reading 110.
Of course, this happened at about 4:30--when no repair shop in the world was willing to take us. So we will be A/C-free until at least Monday.
And I have an interview on Monday. There is no way in hell I can drive 25 miles to an interview without A/C when it is 100+ outside. It would not be a pretty picture once I arrived. Fortunately, the interview is just with a recruiter, so I have emailed to see if we can reschedule for later in the week.
The rest of the day was pretty good. We hung with the kids all day and then went to see fireworks. (Where we were rained on by soot and bits of shell the entire time--I think the random deity is still punishing me. But the show was great.)
7/3/09
7/2/09
Ugh!
I just received a phone call from my former secretary--at 5:15 on the eve of a 3-day weekend. I assumed it was DH calling, or I probably would have let it go to voicemail.
She said that I had received a magazine from an industry organization that my firm had signed me up with, and wanted to know if she should forward it to me.
I've been gone for more than 6 weeks, and have presumably received numerous mailings in that time, but suddenly she wants to know if I want my junk mail forwarded? She beat around the, "so what have you been up to?" bush a couple of times, and I gave intentionally vague answers. But she eventually came right out and asked whether I was working.
I am almost certain that someone told her to call to find out my status. I think that it might have been a result of my cashing out my 401K this week (my seed money if I go solo.) The plan administrator--who is the office manager, would have to sign off, and would therefore be alerted to what I was doing.
Maybe they think I'm destitute and feel bad for treating me like shit. Maybe they are up to their eyeballs in work, since two more associates have quit since I did, and think there is some chance in hell that I would go back there. Maybe they are just being nosy.
Regardless, whether or not I am working is none of their f'ing business, and they really shouldn't have sent my former secretary in to do their dirty work. At the very least, they should have come up with better cover for their phone call--like a question about a case I was working on. But to call about junk mail--really???
Do I sound like a paranoid crazy person?
She said that I had received a magazine from an industry organization that my firm had signed me up with, and wanted to know if she should forward it to me.
I've been gone for more than 6 weeks, and have presumably received numerous mailings in that time, but suddenly she wants to know if I want my junk mail forwarded? She beat around the, "so what have you been up to?" bush a couple of times, and I gave intentionally vague answers. But she eventually came right out and asked whether I was working.
I am almost certain that someone told her to call to find out my status. I think that it might have been a result of my cashing out my 401K this week (my seed money if I go solo.) The plan administrator--who is the office manager, would have to sign off, and would therefore be alerted to what I was doing.
Maybe they think I'm destitute and feel bad for treating me like shit. Maybe they are up to their eyeballs in work, since two more associates have quit since I did, and think there is some chance in hell that I would go back there. Maybe they are just being nosy.
Regardless, whether or not I am working is none of their f'ing business, and they really shouldn't have sent my former secretary in to do their dirty work. At the very least, they should have come up with better cover for their phone call--like a question about a case I was working on. But to call about junk mail--really???
Do I sound like a paranoid crazy person?
7/1/09
Stupid Mom Move
I told the twins to let the guinea pig run around in SS's room while PS cleaned out her cage. We have a little carrier, but the poor creature spends her whole life in a cage, and I though she might like the chance to roam a bit. (She is more timid and apt to scratch than our previous guinea pig-maysherestinpeace-so the kids don't play with her as much.)
The only way she could get into trouble in SS's room is if she got under the bed--a daybed with a trundle. So I told the kids, "block off the front of the bed and make sure she doesn't get under there."
Just because I can foresee the future doesn't mean I can prevent it. Five minutes later I hear, "Mo-oooomm! Stephany's under the bed." (I hate "Mo-oooommm!" Nothing good ever follows "Mo-oooomm." If I'm lucky, it's just whining or tattling. If I'm not so lucky bodily fluids or animal carcasses are involved.)
Of course she is. And we can't see her because of the trundle. And I'm afraid we'll squish her if we try to move the trundle.
So the kids are on guinea pig watch, locked in SS's room and hoping Stephany makes an appearance soon. I don't think she's coming out--this is the most nervous animal I have ever seen. But hopefully she'll get hungry soon. She does love to eat, and is almost as big as a cat.
The only way she could get into trouble in SS's room is if she got under the bed--a daybed with a trundle. So I told the kids, "block off the front of the bed and make sure she doesn't get under there."
Just because I can foresee the future doesn't mean I can prevent it. Five minutes later I hear, "Mo-oooomm! Stephany's under the bed." (I hate "Mo-oooommm!" Nothing good ever follows "Mo-oooomm." If I'm lucky, it's just whining or tattling. If I'm not so lucky bodily fluids or animal carcasses are involved.)
Of course she is. And we can't see her because of the trundle. And I'm afraid we'll squish her if we try to move the trundle.
So the kids are on guinea pig watch, locked in SS's room and hoping Stephany makes an appearance soon. I don't think she's coming out--this is the most nervous animal I have ever seen. But hopefully she'll get hungry soon. She does love to eat, and is almost as big as a cat.
6/30/09
Weird Facebook Friend
So a handful of my Facebook friends are people that I went to high school with that I don't really remember. I'm sure that we went to high school together, but we didn't hang out together and I have only a vague recollection of them.
Once such person, we'll call her Sue, friended DH shortly after she friended me. DH did not know her at all! (I transferred to a new HS at the beginning of my junior year. DH went to second HS, this friend is from 1st HS.) She sent DH a message that said something like, "Hi, I know that you don't know me, but I'm a friend of LC.'s and I wanted to add you as a friend."
We both thought it a little strange, but she seemed harmless enough, so he added her.
Anyway, today is my aunt's birthday. The first thing on my wall is happy birthday wishes to my aunt. And Sue is one of the well-wishers! There is no way on earth that she could know my aunt. My aunt moved from Hometown to another state when I was a kid. I haven't seen her in at least 15 years!!
How freaky is this? Now I wonder if Sue is contacting all of my friends--which truly horrifies me! I checked her friends list, but we only have one other mutual friend who did not go to 1st HS. So maybe not--or maybe everybody else just decided she's a kook and didn't friend her.
Once such person, we'll call her Sue, friended DH shortly after she friended me. DH did not know her at all! (I transferred to a new HS at the beginning of my junior year. DH went to second HS, this friend is from 1st HS.) She sent DH a message that said something like, "Hi, I know that you don't know me, but I'm a friend of LC.'s and I wanted to add you as a friend."
We both thought it a little strange, but she seemed harmless enough, so he added her.
Anyway, today is my aunt's birthday. The first thing on my wall is happy birthday wishes to my aunt. And Sue is one of the well-wishers! There is no way on earth that she could know my aunt. My aunt moved from Hometown to another state when I was a kid. I haven't seen her in at least 15 years!!
How freaky is this? Now I wonder if Sue is contacting all of my friends--which truly horrifies me! I checked her friends list, but we only have one other mutual friend who did not go to 1st HS. So maybe not--or maybe everybody else just decided she's a kook and didn't friend her.
6/29/09
I have a case!
LegalAid finally called me back today, and I agreed to take on a pro bono case. I am excited and freaked out at the same time.
It's a divorce case, and one that could turn nasty. I do not practice family law--although it is a direction I would have to take if I end up going solo. I did work for a family law solo for a short time in law school, so I have drafted divorce petitions, decrees, TRO's and custody modifications, but I've never argued a TRO hearing or done a divorce prove-up. (And I interned in the county where the petition would be filed and saw the judge there throw out more than one pro se petitioner who screwed up their prove-up hearing.)
But I am jumping in with few resources. I no longer have access to internet research or forms manuals. I'm not that worried about the research--I have a cited code book and family law doesn't change that much. But I don't have a forms manual and didn't keep copies of the documents that I drafted as a clerk. I'm sure I can come up with the forms, but I no longer have the luxury of downloading them from my firm's network or library.
Also, it just occurred to me that I have to sign pleading with an actual address. I am almost certain that a P.O. box will not do under the rules in my state. Umm, I don't have an office. And I REALLY don't want o put my home address on pleadings--especially a nasty divorce case.
It's a divorce case, and one that could turn nasty. I do not practice family law--although it is a direction I would have to take if I end up going solo. I did work for a family law solo for a short time in law school, so I have drafted divorce petitions, decrees, TRO's and custody modifications, but I've never argued a TRO hearing or done a divorce prove-up. (And I interned in the county where the petition would be filed and saw the judge there throw out more than one pro se petitioner who screwed up their prove-up hearing.)
But I am jumping in with few resources. I no longer have access to internet research or forms manuals. I'm not that worried about the research--I have a cited code book and family law doesn't change that much. But I don't have a forms manual and didn't keep copies of the documents that I drafted as a clerk. I'm sure I can come up with the forms, but I no longer have the luxury of downloading them from my firm's network or library.
Also, it just occurred to me that I have to sign pleading with an actual address. I am almost certain that a P.O. box will not do under the rules in my state. Umm, I don't have an office. And I REALLY don't want o put my home address on pleadings--especially a nasty divorce case.
The Evil Force
At some point in the middle of the night last night I moved from my bed to the couch. I kept having bad dreams and would wake sitting upright and trying to figure out what was happening. I can't really describe what the dreams were about--but I had this sense of something closing in on me, sort of encapsulating me.
The last one before I moved was the worst. And I had the sense that were was some kind of Evil Force next to me that was out to get me. So I hightailed it out of there.
Of course, this morning DH wanted to know what happened to me. And he was none to happy to realize that he was the Evil Force. I think he is wondering what kind of subconscious animosity I hold for him.
I told him that I can't be responsible for what I do in my sleep. Kind of like the time I yanked the pillow out from under his head in the middle of the night and started beating him with it. (Yes, it really happened, and yes, I was really asleep.) He's just lucky I didn't try to attack the Evil Force with something harder than a pillow.
Anyway, the dreams continued through the night. Stress has a tendency to manifest itself in my dreams, but last night was the worst. (This happened nightly the entire time I was studying for the bar, but hasn't been a real problem since then.)
Now, I think I need to go take a nap to recover from my sleepless night.
The last one before I moved was the worst. And I had the sense that were was some kind of Evil Force next to me that was out to get me. So I hightailed it out of there.
Of course, this morning DH wanted to know what happened to me. And he was none to happy to realize that he was the Evil Force. I think he is wondering what kind of subconscious animosity I hold for him.
I told him that I can't be responsible for what I do in my sleep. Kind of like the time I yanked the pillow out from under his head in the middle of the night and started beating him with it. (Yes, it really happened, and yes, I was really asleep.) He's just lucky I didn't try to attack the Evil Force with something harder than a pillow.
Anyway, the dreams continued through the night. Stress has a tendency to manifest itself in my dreams, but last night was the worst. (This happened nightly the entire time I was studying for the bar, but hasn't been a real problem since then.)
Now, I think I need to go take a nap to recover from my sleepless night.
6/26/09
Grumble, Grumble
I just received an email from Conservative Firm that they do not intend to conduct call back interviews for another 3 weeks!
On the one hand, I take it as a good sign that they bothered to tell me this. On the other hand, I need to start working. My psyche needs to start working, and my bank account needs me to start working.
I really like Conservative Firm, but if by some miracle another offer comes through before they are prepared to make a move, I am going to have to take it.
On the one hand, I take it as a good sign that they bothered to tell me this. On the other hand, I need to start working. My psyche needs to start working, and my bank account needs me to start working.
I really like Conservative Firm, but if by some miracle another offer comes through before they are prepared to make a move, I am going to have to take it.
The most interesting interview to date
Today I had an interview at a firm 60 miles from home. Their offices are in a turn-of-the-century house that they have fully restored. It was just gorgeous--beautifully restored and beautifully decorated.
They obviously observe casual Friday, as all of the staff and the first partner (Partner A) whom I met were wearing jeans. Then Partner B walked in--wearing flip-flops and cargo shorts, long red hair, and a silver skull ring.
They asked why I left my old firm and I gave my pat answer, "I was offered a position at another law firm, after I accepted and offered notice a conflict was discovered that was not waived."
Partner B said, "What Assholes!"
They asked what I wanted and I said, "Well I really enjoy practicing law and I like what I have been doing. I have worked on some high-quality cases and have been given increasing responsibility. I would like to continue with that--to take on additional responsibility, more complex depositions, more time in court and to go to trial eventually. Ultimately I'd like to build a book of business and make partner."
Partner B said, "I don't want to hear all that 'I love the law' bullshit. I want to hear that you want to make money."
Partner A said, "I think that's what she said."
They also warned me that they are very casual, like to joke around, (and yell and curse) and someone who is easily offended would not fit in.
Overall, I think the interview went well (except for the "I love the law" bullshit). I think they liked the answers that I gave, but they may have reservations because I live so far away. They also asked what I was earning before, and I'm not sure they are prepared to match it, as they are a much smaller firm.
I think I would really enjoy working there, but for the horrendous commute. They do a wide variety of defense litigation, and I really prefer to have a variety. I think it would be terrific experience at this stage in my career.
So this firm was really the complete opposite of the firm I interviewed with on Wednesday, but I am really drawn to both firms. Fingers crossed that one or the other works out. At this point, my emotional need to work is becoming greater than my financial need to work (which is no small need.)
They obviously observe casual Friday, as all of the staff and the first partner (Partner A) whom I met were wearing jeans. Then Partner B walked in--wearing flip-flops and cargo shorts, long red hair, and a silver skull ring.
They asked why I left my old firm and I gave my pat answer, "I was offered a position at another law firm, after I accepted and offered notice a conflict was discovered that was not waived."
Partner B said, "What Assholes!"
They asked what I wanted and I said, "Well I really enjoy practicing law and I like what I have been doing. I have worked on some high-quality cases and have been given increasing responsibility. I would like to continue with that--to take on additional responsibility, more complex depositions, more time in court and to go to trial eventually. Ultimately I'd like to build a book of business and make partner."
Partner B said, "I don't want to hear all that 'I love the law' bullshit. I want to hear that you want to make money."
Partner A said, "I think that's what she said."
They also warned me that they are very casual, like to joke around, (and yell and curse) and someone who is easily offended would not fit in.
Overall, I think the interview went well (except for the "I love the law" bullshit). I think they liked the answers that I gave, but they may have reservations because I live so far away. They also asked what I was earning before, and I'm not sure they are prepared to match it, as they are a much smaller firm.
I think I would really enjoy working there, but for the horrendous commute. They do a wide variety of defense litigation, and I really prefer to have a variety. I think it would be terrific experience at this stage in my career.
So this firm was really the complete opposite of the firm I interviewed with on Wednesday, but I am really drawn to both firms. Fingers crossed that one or the other works out. At this point, my emotional need to work is becoming greater than my financial need to work (which is no small need.)
6/24/09
Interview
I was pretty apathetic going into today's interview. I am tired of being rejected, and I wasn't sure how interested they would be in me because I have virtually no exposure to the type of law that they practice.
But it went much better than I anticipated, and now I'm afraid I have my hopes up once again.
The female attorney with whom I had been in contact was conducting initial interviews. It seemed to go ok, but I am a terrible judge. She asked for my expected salary. I threw out my previously decided upon number (which I was willing to compromise) and she said, "That's much too low. I'm going to put down [much higher number] as your minimum expected salary." My new minimum expected salary is almost $20K more than I was previously earning.
Then she said, "I know I only scheduled you for one interview, but I know that I will be calling you back, so if you have time, I'd really like to see if one of our partners can meet with you right now."
Okey dokey, no problem on my end.
Partner was preparing for a trial on Monday, but spent about an hour speaking to me. I think it went pretty well.
I am much, much more interested in the firm now, and not just because of the substantial salary increase. I would be second chairing the cases on which I was assigned--and second chairs get a lot of responsibility. It would be great experience.
The negatives (which aren't really that negative): The firm is very conservative. No business casual, which means I would have to add a few more suits to my wardrobe. I even stopped on the way home to buy Crane notecards so that I could handwrite follow-up notes. These days I generally just send an email follow up.
And they use Macs. I have never even heard of a law firm that uses Macs, and I haven't touched one since high school. I'm sure I can pick it up, but I wonder how much trouble it is sending and receiving documents. We had issues at my old firm because we used WordPerfect instead of Word.
But it went much better than I anticipated, and now I'm afraid I have my hopes up once again.
The female attorney with whom I had been in contact was conducting initial interviews. It seemed to go ok, but I am a terrible judge. She asked for my expected salary. I threw out my previously decided upon number (which I was willing to compromise) and she said, "That's much too low. I'm going to put down [much higher number] as your minimum expected salary." My new minimum expected salary is almost $20K more than I was previously earning.
Then she said, "I know I only scheduled you for one interview, but I know that I will be calling you back, so if you have time, I'd really like to see if one of our partners can meet with you right now."
Okey dokey, no problem on my end.
Partner was preparing for a trial on Monday, but spent about an hour speaking to me. I think it went pretty well.
I am much, much more interested in the firm now, and not just because of the substantial salary increase. I would be second chairing the cases on which I was assigned--and second chairs get a lot of responsibility. It would be great experience.
The negatives (which aren't really that negative): The firm is very conservative. No business casual, which means I would have to add a few more suits to my wardrobe. I even stopped on the way home to buy Crane notecards so that I could handwrite follow-up notes. These days I generally just send an email follow up.
And they use Macs. I have never even heard of a law firm that uses Macs, and I haven't touched one since high school. I'm sure I can pick it up, but I wonder how much trouble it is sending and receiving documents. We had issues at my old firm because we used WordPerfect instead of Word.
6/23/09
Today ...
- I applied for at least 5 jobs. One was a temporary position at a firm with an office dog. I like the idea of an office dog.
- I took PS to the library for a workshop on making flip-flops out of duct tape. (Don't ask me-but it was so popular that not all of the kids who showed up could participate.)
- I made friends with an adorable little girl of about 15 months who kept coming over to me, putting her hand on my knee, and jabbering away. Her mom would haul her away and a minute later she would be back.
- I yelled at random kids for running in the library. I'm not big on calling out other people's kids--but one of them used to be one of my girl scouts and I know her mom would have been mortified by her behavior.
- I got a call for another interview on Friday. The firm sounds great--but it is 60 miles away. 60 miles of city traffic.
- I met a former coworker for dinner, who was fired the week before I left. It's nice to have a fellow unemployed lawyer to bitch to--especially one who truly understands what an asshole our former boss was.
- I went to Half-Price Books all by myself. The kid-free time was nice. Didn't buy anything because I am already reading 5 books simultaneously. (East of Eden; Love in the Time of Cholera; Standing Under the Rainbow (Fannis Flagg-not as good as her other stuff); The Diary of Anne Frank (to recall whether it is ok for PS); and a chick lit book by Jane Green, the title of which I cannot recall, but probably isn't worth finishing. I am trying to build up my library in case I decide to go solo, and sometimes I can find code books for a steal. (I got a 2009 code book on ebay for $15 last week--would have cost at least $100 new.)
- I went to the grocery store. I think the butcher was flirting with me.
6/22/09
Another day another hill to climb
I think the hardest part about job hunting is the roller coaster emotional toll. Initially I was rolling uphill--I was leaving old firm, but I had several interviews lined up and I convinced myself that my unemployment would be short lived. I eventually hit the peak and plummeted downward when none of those interviews transformed into jobs.
Every time I find a job to apply for, I feel a tiny glimmer of hope and start climbing uphill. When I receive no response, I roll downhill again--but at least I haven't ascended as far before the fall.
But when I receive an interview, my hope climbs quickly and steeply and the fall is much faster and scarier when I am rejected.
Or nothing at all happens, and I just circle over an over with the tiny bumps like the kiddie-coaster at the county fair.
I'm not sure which is worse--the constant up and down or the boring endless circle. But I am tired of being unemployed. I like working. And I am a better mom when I don't spend 24/7 with my kids. My temper and patience are both running short these days.
I have an interview on Wednesday. It is still litigation, but an area that I don't have much experience in. I guess we'll see what happens, but I don't look forward to the emotional downfall following another rejection.
Every time I find a job to apply for, I feel a tiny glimmer of hope and start climbing uphill. When I receive no response, I roll downhill again--but at least I haven't ascended as far before the fall.
But when I receive an interview, my hope climbs quickly and steeply and the fall is much faster and scarier when I am rejected.
Or nothing at all happens, and I just circle over an over with the tiny bumps like the kiddie-coaster at the county fair.
I'm not sure which is worse--the constant up and down or the boring endless circle. But I am tired of being unemployed. I like working. And I am a better mom when I don't spend 24/7 with my kids. My temper and patience are both running short these days.
I have an interview on Wednesday. It is still litigation, but an area that I don't have much experience in. I guess we'll see what happens, but I don't look forward to the emotional downfall following another rejection.
6/18/09
"Don't be such a pu$$y!"
That's what one of my twins told the other when she started freaking out about a bug. Being the fabulous mom that I am, I burst out laughing.
"Wha-at?" said SS.
"Sweetie, do you know that is not a nice word?"
"What do you mean--it's just another word for kitty?"
By this point SS is obviously embarrassed and realizes that she unintentionally said something that she shouldn't.
"Well, it is a bad word, too. And if you said that to someone at school, you would get in trouble. I know you didn't know any better, but please don't call your sister a pu$$y anymore."
SS then goes and hides behind a chair.
I thought they at least recognized most of the bad words by now--but I guess that one's not part of my lexicon so they must have though it was ok (I've said before that my biggest failing as a mother is my potty mouth).
Not much happening on the job front. I haven't heard anything from the several jobs that I applied for last week, and there hasn't been anything to apply for this week. I am more seriously contemplating going solo--researching costs to get a realistic picture of what I would be getting myself into. Honestly, it scares the shit out of me . . . but at the same time I feel like karma is pushing me in that direction.
I emailed the volunteer att'y program a couple of days ago, but haven't heard anything yet. Guess they don't need volunteers too badly. Perhaps they are overwhelmed by laid off BigLawyers.
The weight watching and working out is going ok. I have nothing better to do than count calories right now--and at least it gives me control over some part of my life. Took the girls to a local farm to pick blackberries and buy produce yesterday, so we are now well stocked with healthy stuff.
"Wha-at?" said SS.
"Sweetie, do you know that is not a nice word?"
"What do you mean--it's just another word for kitty?"
By this point SS is obviously embarrassed and realizes that she unintentionally said something that she shouldn't.
"Well, it is a bad word, too. And if you said that to someone at school, you would get in trouble. I know you didn't know any better, but please don't call your sister a pu$$y anymore."
SS then goes and hides behind a chair.
I thought they at least recognized most of the bad words by now--but I guess that one's not part of my lexicon so they must have though it was ok (I've said before that my biggest failing as a mother is my potty mouth).
Not much happening on the job front. I haven't heard anything from the several jobs that I applied for last week, and there hasn't been anything to apply for this week. I am more seriously contemplating going solo--researching costs to get a realistic picture of what I would be getting myself into. Honestly, it scares the shit out of me . . . but at the same time I feel like karma is pushing me in that direction.
I emailed the volunteer att'y program a couple of days ago, but haven't heard anything yet. Guess they don't need volunteers too badly. Perhaps they are overwhelmed by laid off BigLawyers.
The weight watching and working out is going ok. I have nothing better to do than count calories right now--and at least it gives me control over some part of my life. Took the girls to a local farm to pick blackberries and buy produce yesterday, so we are now well stocked with healthy stuff.
6/15/09
8 pounds
No, not the sequel to the Will Smith movie. That's how much I have gained during my one moth of unemployment. (BTW, today is my 1 month unemployedaversary--yea for me.)
Apparently I should have been following gudnuff's workout advice. It's not hard to figure out the source of these 8 pounds. I have been baking like a mad woman to fill all the extra time. And cooking elaborate (and fattening) meals for my family. And when I'm home I snack. I rarely snacked at work--if I did I went for the almonds or dried cranberries that I kept in my desk drawer for a late afternoon pick-me-up (or dinner, as the case sometimes was.) No homemade cookies or Peanut Butter Crunch lying around.
So I have joined fat secret which tracks my calories and weight watchers points. (I have never actually joined weight watchers, but have gleaned enough information online to basically follow their point system.)
And then I signed up for a challenge, which is a running program outlined by Women's Health.
So far today I am off to a good start. I had an egg white omelet for breakfast and ran on the treadmill. We'll see how the rest of the day goes--I'm not really stocked with low fat foods right now. I've been too busy buying real butter and cream and chocolate chips.
I'm not too concerned about the 8 pounds. My weight tends to hover at about [yeah, like I'm gonna tell you], and I think I can return if I just knock off the baking. But it would be nice to lose the extra 15 pounds or so that I have been carrying around since I stopped breastfeeding the twins. (Yes, I lost all of my baby weight instantly, both times. With the twins I weighed less a week after I delivered than I did before I got pregnant. But once I stopped breastfeeding I gained 15 pounds--what the heck is that about??? I guess I was used to eating for 3 and never stopped.)
Meanwhile, I need a job, I need a job, I need a job. I miss working. I think I will call the volunteer attorney program today to see what I can do to help out.
Apparently I should have been following gudnuff's workout advice. It's not hard to figure out the source of these 8 pounds. I have been baking like a mad woman to fill all the extra time. And cooking elaborate (and fattening) meals for my family. And when I'm home I snack. I rarely snacked at work--if I did I went for the almonds or dried cranberries that I kept in my desk drawer for a late afternoon pick-me-up (or dinner, as the case sometimes was.) No homemade cookies or Peanut Butter Crunch lying around.
So I have joined fat secret which tracks my calories and weight watchers points. (I have never actually joined weight watchers, but have gleaned enough information online to basically follow their point system.)
And then I signed up for a challenge, which is a running program outlined by Women's Health.
So far today I am off to a good start. I had an egg white omelet for breakfast and ran on the treadmill. We'll see how the rest of the day goes--I'm not really stocked with low fat foods right now. I've been too busy buying real butter and cream and chocolate chips.
I'm not too concerned about the 8 pounds. My weight tends to hover at about [yeah, like I'm gonna tell you], and I think I can return if I just knock off the baking. But it would be nice to lose the extra 15 pounds or so that I have been carrying around since I stopped breastfeeding the twins. (Yes, I lost all of my baby weight instantly, both times. With the twins I weighed less a week after I delivered than I did before I got pregnant. But once I stopped breastfeeding I gained 15 pounds--what the heck is that about??? I guess I was used to eating for 3 and never stopped.)
Meanwhile, I need a job, I need a job, I need a job. I miss working. I think I will call the volunteer attorney program today to see what I can do to help out.
6/12/09
Inlaws
I love my inlaws--I really do. But I though I might strangle my FIL this weekend.
DH and I made an impromptu road trip Friday afternoon to help out FIL because MIL, who had been receiving outpatient treatments at a cancer center 700 miles from their home, was admitted for inpatient care.
When we arrived in town we headed straight for the hospital, and called FIL for the specific address and to inquire where to park (on an enormous campus). He insisted on meeting us outside so that he could hop in the car and direct us where to park, instead of just telling us which lot was nearest.
So I am stuck driving up and down the the street while FIL is on the phone with DH saying "what street are you on now? are you driving toward the sun or away from the sun? nope, nope turn around, you've passed it." Yeah, we passed it because we were looking for you on the side of the road.
So we picked up FIL and he led us to the lot across the street. (Because he couldn't have told us that on the phone?) "Ok, now you push the button and a ticket comes out. You have to pay to park here." (Me, gritting teeth, not saying anything.)
"Ok, now, turn right, now turn left, now turn right." (Because there aren't giant arrows telling me which way to turn within the parking garage.)
"Ok, there, there's an open spot, park there." (Because I wasn't already planning to park there.)
Finally, finally we unload and head toward the hospital. "Ok, now you have to keep that ticket and feed it into a machine to pay when you leave."
I just kept on nodding. "I guess maybe you've done this before, huh?" To which I replied "oh, maybe a time or two." Because it's not like I live and work(ed) in a big city where I park(ed) in a parking garage every single day, and had to pay to park every time I visited another lawyer's office or airport.
I know FIL was just trying to be helpful, and I feel a little guilty for being so cranky about it. But he doesn't seem to recognize that his kids are now adults who function every day in an environment very similar to the one in which he has suddenly and unwillingly been thrust. (To be fair, the inlaws were born and raised in a smallish city, rarely travel, refuse to pay for cable, and only got a cell phone a few weeks ago because of the travels related to MIL's illness.)
We have all the necessary modern accouterments to find our way in an unfamiliar big city, and we've parked in a pay garage, navigated our way across a business complex, and visited unfamiliar cities before.
I swear, I don't know how he thinks we've managed to secure a mortgage, raise three kids, obtain graduate degrees and go to work without step-by-step instructions.
DH and I made an impromptu road trip Friday afternoon to help out FIL because MIL, who had been receiving outpatient treatments at a cancer center 700 miles from their home, was admitted for inpatient care.
When we arrived in town we headed straight for the hospital, and called FIL for the specific address and to inquire where to park (on an enormous campus). He insisted on meeting us outside so that he could hop in the car and direct us where to park, instead of just telling us which lot was nearest.
So I am stuck driving up and down the the street while FIL is on the phone with DH saying "what street are you on now? are you driving toward the sun or away from the sun? nope, nope turn around, you've passed it." Yeah, we passed it because we were looking for you on the side of the road.
So we picked up FIL and he led us to the lot across the street. (Because he couldn't have told us that on the phone?) "Ok, now you push the button and a ticket comes out. You have to pay to park here." (Me, gritting teeth, not saying anything.)
"Ok, now, turn right, now turn left, now turn right." (Because there aren't giant arrows telling me which way to turn within the parking garage.)
"Ok, there, there's an open spot, park there." (Because I wasn't already planning to park there.)
Finally, finally we unload and head toward the hospital. "Ok, now you have to keep that ticket and feed it into a machine to pay when you leave."
I just kept on nodding. "I guess maybe you've done this before, huh?" To which I replied "oh, maybe a time or two." Because it's not like I live and work(ed) in a big city where I park(ed) in a parking garage every single day, and had to pay to park every time I visited another lawyer's office or airport.
I know FIL was just trying to be helpful, and I feel a little guilty for being so cranky about it. But he doesn't seem to recognize that his kids are now adults who function every day in an environment very similar to the one in which he has suddenly and unwillingly been thrust. (To be fair, the inlaws were born and raised in a smallish city, rarely travel, refuse to pay for cable, and only got a cell phone a few weeks ago because of the travels related to MIL's illness.)
We have all the necessary modern accouterments to find our way in an unfamiliar big city, and we've parked in a pay garage, navigated our way across a business complex, and visited unfamiliar cities before.
I swear, I don't know how he thinks we've managed to secure a mortgage, raise three kids, obtain graduate degrees and go to work without step-by-step instructions.
6/11/09
LC Unveiled
'Cause I know you've been dying to know what I look like. (I love it when I get sneak peeks at the bloggers that I follow.) DH found this app and has been making Obamicons of the entire family. PS picked out the caption.On the job front, I have been much more relaxed since the girlies have been out of school. Frankly, the cost of summer child care is so astronomical that the financial impact of my unemployment is greatly reduced while the kids are out of school.
And the kids keep me busy, so there is not so much wallowing. Although I did feel like my brain was rotting at one point this afternoon while at the library summer program watching a 50-year old woman dressed like a cowgirl singing and riding a stick pony. I thought to myself, "a month ago I was drafting an MSJ to dispose of a multi-million-dollar lawsuit in federal court, and now I am reduced to this." But for the most part, I've enjoyed hanging with the girls.
That's not to say that I am not still job hunting. I check all of my various job boards every day and apply for everything that I am even remotely qualified for. But I haven't blasted my resume, yet. And I should probably contact a few more recruiters.
6/10/09
Kid Funnies
To make up for my downer post yesterday, here are comments from random children I have encountered lately.
My little monkey girl, SS, got a little carried away climbing a tree at a park and got stuck about 10 feet of the ground. I eventually went to rescue her, but she was well above my head and I had to coax her to back her way down the tree.
A little boy watching said, "My mom said I can't climb trees."
"Well, you're mom sounds smarter than me right about now."
"She only went to the 9th grade. Did you stop going to school in the 9th grade too?" I'm sure his mom was thrilled by his over sharing.
A couple of weeks ago I was in Costco behind a woman and an adorable little girl who was about 4. I'm minding my own business, when the little girls pipes up, "We're Muslim. That means we can't eat pork and my mommy has to wear a head scarf."
"Really, that's very interesting." I replied. Then she continued to educate me about her faith and question me about my shopping cart. By the time her mother finished checking out, we were like old friends.
And then today the girls went to work with DH for "take your kid to work day." DH's office makes this a huge event, with each department sponsoring an activity for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids leave with huge bags full of loot and they get paid $5 for their work.
I asked SS what she thought about DH's office, and she said, "Daddy works in the mechanical room and doesn't get any sunshine."
DH is a web developer and his office is in the server room--but I can just imagine how a stranger would interpret this!
My little monkey girl, SS, got a little carried away climbing a tree at a park and got stuck about 10 feet of the ground. I eventually went to rescue her, but she was well above my head and I had to coax her to back her way down the tree.
A little boy watching said, "My mom said I can't climb trees."
"Well, you're mom sounds smarter than me right about now."
"She only went to the 9th grade. Did you stop going to school in the 9th grade too?" I'm sure his mom was thrilled by his over sharing.
A couple of weeks ago I was in Costco behind a woman and an adorable little girl who was about 4. I'm minding my own business, when the little girls pipes up, "We're Muslim. That means we can't eat pork and my mommy has to wear a head scarf."
"Really, that's very interesting." I replied. Then she continued to educate me about her faith and question me about my shopping cart. By the time her mother finished checking out, we were like old friends.
And then today the girls went to work with DH for "take your kid to work day." DH's office makes this a huge event, with each department sponsoring an activity for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids leave with huge bags full of loot and they get paid $5 for their work.
I asked SS what she thought about DH's office, and she said, "Daddy works in the mechanical room and doesn't get any sunshine."
DH is a web developer and his office is in the server room--but I can just imagine how a stranger would interpret this!
6/9/09
Sadness
DH attended the memorial service today for a teen who took his own life last week. I simply can't imagine a worse pain for a parent to endure.
This child was getting ready to go to college--on the cusp of a whole new life. But at that age, and in such a state of depression, I guess it is hard to have perspective for what is in front of you.
I went through some pretty serious bouts of depression when I was a teen. I wish that I had known then how fantastic my life would turn out. That I would finally escape the insane whims of my parents and their current spouses and have control over my life. That I would meet a fantastic guy and have a very normal and happy marriage. That having kids would be the best thing that ever happened to me (and I never wanted kids!) That I would put myself through school and go on to have a successful career (even with the current bump-in-the-road.)
I wish that my teenage self would have had the perspective to see that my unhappiness was a temporary situation arising from temporary circumstances. I wish all unhappy teens could see that. And how much the decision to take your own life impacts those around you--something that I don't think you can truly grasp until you are a parent.
I hope the parents of the child who killed himself can somehow survive this--I just don't know how you could ever start living again after such a tragedy.
This child was getting ready to go to college--on the cusp of a whole new life. But at that age, and in such a state of depression, I guess it is hard to have perspective for what is in front of you.
I went through some pretty serious bouts of depression when I was a teen. I wish that I had known then how fantastic my life would turn out. That I would finally escape the insane whims of my parents and their current spouses and have control over my life. That I would meet a fantastic guy and have a very normal and happy marriage. That having kids would be the best thing that ever happened to me (and I never wanted kids!) That I would put myself through school and go on to have a successful career (even with the current bump-in-the-road.)
I wish that my teenage self would have had the perspective to see that my unhappiness was a temporary situation arising from temporary circumstances. I wish all unhappy teens could see that. And how much the decision to take your own life impacts those around you--something that I don't think you can truly grasp until you are a parent.
I hope the parents of the child who killed himself can somehow survive this--I just don't know how you could ever start living again after such a tragedy.
6/8/09
Contemplations
So my little unplanned 3 week vacation has had me thinking. I really like spending more time with my kiddos, cooking real dinners for my family, not having to cram all of my errands and chores into the weekend. And the relief from the constant voice in my head saying I should be working more, working harder, doing something other than whatever I happen to be doing at the moment.
That's not to say I have any intention of voluntarily continuing my unemployed status on a permanent basis. First of all, I have done the SAHM thing before, and I was not happy. I like working. I like being a lawyer. Second, I don't really have a choice--when I was previously a SAHM I did not have a disgusting amount of law school debt which can only be paid if I am working.
But I am contemplating my options for better merging of my work and home life. In an ideal world, I'd work until 3:00 pm (except when in court or depos), and be done in time to pick the girls up from school, help with homework and make dinner. Of course, this is not an ideal world.
I really liked the type of law I was practicing--complex products cases with 6 to 8 figure exposure. I would like to continue doing this kind of work--but in an environment more conducive to maintaining a home life. (Some of the firms I interviewed with seemed to indicate that this is actually possible--but I don't necessarily believe everything I hear in an interview.)
Another option is to consider going solo. This could allow me to practice in my town--cutting out 2 hours of daily commuting, and allow more flexibility over my schedule. But there are so many cons.
I could not practice the kind of law that I have been--not even on the Plaintiff's side. Prosecuting products and PI cases takes money--money for experts, money for evidence collection and analysis, money for court costs. Any no money coming in until you settle or go to court. I simply have no means of backing those kinds of cases.
And then there is overhead. At a bare minimum Westlaw or Lexis access, malpractice insurance and advertising. Ideally, office space and a phone service. And about a million more expenses, large and small.
And I would be limited to small general practice cases and family law. I really don't want to do family law. I very briefly considered family law in school and worked for a family law attorney for a short time. I quickly weeded it out as a potential career option. Family law clients are needy. You have to be nice and understanding--a handholder. I am not nice. I liked the law I practiced because my clients were corporate--not emotionally invested individuals.
And I would be starting over--this isn't the kind of law that I have been practicing over the past two years. I know the basics, but there would be a lot to learn. And going solo means no database of old pleadings and motions to turn to when I have an issue that I have never addressed before (a nice benefit to working in a firm!)
So, I guess the choice is between continuing to do what I love and balancing it with my family--or going it alone where I have more control over the home/life balance but less control over the kind of law that I practice.
But this is not a choice that will be made today. For now I will continue the job search--as DH pointed out, it's only been 3 weeks. But if nothing pans out by the end of the summer, I may more seriously contemplate going solo.
That's not to say I have any intention of voluntarily continuing my unemployed status on a permanent basis. First of all, I have done the SAHM thing before, and I was not happy. I like working. I like being a lawyer. Second, I don't really have a choice--when I was previously a SAHM I did not have a disgusting amount of law school debt which can only be paid if I am working.
But I am contemplating my options for better merging of my work and home life. In an ideal world, I'd work until 3:00 pm (except when in court or depos), and be done in time to pick the girls up from school, help with homework and make dinner. Of course, this is not an ideal world.
I really liked the type of law I was practicing--complex products cases with 6 to 8 figure exposure. I would like to continue doing this kind of work--but in an environment more conducive to maintaining a home life. (Some of the firms I interviewed with seemed to indicate that this is actually possible--but I don't necessarily believe everything I hear in an interview.)
Another option is to consider going solo. This could allow me to practice in my town--cutting out 2 hours of daily commuting, and allow more flexibility over my schedule. But there are so many cons.
I could not practice the kind of law that I have been--not even on the Plaintiff's side. Prosecuting products and PI cases takes money--money for experts, money for evidence collection and analysis, money for court costs. Any no money coming in until you settle or go to court. I simply have no means of backing those kinds of cases.
And then there is overhead. At a bare minimum Westlaw or Lexis access, malpractice insurance and advertising. Ideally, office space and a phone service. And about a million more expenses, large and small.
And I would be limited to small general practice cases and family law. I really don't want to do family law. I very briefly considered family law in school and worked for a family law attorney for a short time. I quickly weeded it out as a potential career option. Family law clients are needy. You have to be nice and understanding--a handholder. I am not nice. I liked the law I practiced because my clients were corporate--not emotionally invested individuals.
And I would be starting over--this isn't the kind of law that I have been practicing over the past two years. I know the basics, but there would be a lot to learn. And going solo means no database of old pleadings and motions to turn to when I have an issue that I have never addressed before (a nice benefit to working in a firm!)
So, I guess the choice is between continuing to do what I love and balancing it with my family--or going it alone where I have more control over the home/life balance but less control over the kind of law that I practice.
But this is not a choice that will be made today. For now I will continue the job search--as DH pointed out, it's only been 3 weeks. But if nothing pans out by the end of the summer, I may more seriously contemplate going solo.
6/5/09
No more teachers . . .
Yesterday was the girls' last day of school. We did the awards ceremonies and then went out of ice cream. It's hard to believe that I now have a 6th grader and 2 3rd graders. I don't feel old enough to have a 6th grader--although my brother, who is 3 years younger, will have a high schooler next year!
PS still has friends over who spent the night--they are blessedly past the running around and screaming stage and you would never know that there are 5 kids in my house right now.
I have been far more productive the today and yesterday than I was the rest of the week. (Still not working out, gudnuff, but I did ask DH to look at the treadmill for me.) I applied for 2 jobs yesterday--which is more than I have the rest of the week combined. I cleaned the downstairs. (The reason I told PS she could have friends over was just so I would be motivated to clean!)
This morning I made monkey brains for breakfast, started a pot roast for dinner, filled out the paperwork to defer my student loans, and helped the twins fill up water balloons. As soon as I get rid of the extra kiddos we need to run errands and are heading to the library.
Oh yes, and lots of napping--I heart naps!
PS still has friends over who spent the night--they are blessedly past the running around and screaming stage and you would never know that there are 5 kids in my house right now.
I have been far more productive the today and yesterday than I was the rest of the week. (Still not working out, gudnuff, but I did ask DH to look at the treadmill for me.) I applied for 2 jobs yesterday--which is more than I have the rest of the week combined. I cleaned the downstairs. (The reason I told PS she could have friends over was just so I would be motivated to clean!)
This morning I made monkey brains for breakfast, started a pot roast for dinner, filled out the paperwork to defer my student loans, and helped the twins fill up water balloons. As soon as I get rid of the extra kiddos we need to run errands and are heading to the library.
Oh yes, and lots of napping--I heart naps!
6/3/09
Why yes, yes I have been wallowing
This week has been tough. No interviews and no prospects. Yesterday I got a rejection letter from a firm where I thought the interview went really well. I have worked just about every networking contact that I know of. I am beginning to sink into a deep muddy pit of depression. I was grossly unproductive both Monday and Tuesday.
Today I dragged myself to a bar association presentation directed at women. I met up with a couple of former coworkers, which was nice. They said that lots of people in the office had mentioned how much they missed me.
I was disappointed with the presentation. It was dubbed "Inspiring Women" and was a panel discussion by several prominent female lawyers. Their spiel was that they are all successful women lawyers who have overcome adversity and have found success. Which is certainly true--they are all successful and they all began practicing at a time when women lawyers were greatly outnumbered by men.
But they made it sound like their career path was all rainbows and butterflies. "Yes you can have it all. I raised two kids and I am the managing partner at BigLawFirm."
She didn't mention what it feel like when you have to miss putting your kids to bed 3 nights in a row. Or how the very last thing in the world that you want to do on a Saturday morning after working a 65 hour week is go to a 9:00 a.m. soccer game. Except for maybe going back to work after that soccer game. Or how to handle a boss who tries to turn you into a "special situation" when you complain about working 30% more hours than you agreed to and without additional compensation--just because you are a mom.
There was no substance to their discussions--no real picture of what it is like to balance a demanding career and a family.
But I got a great piece of chocolate cake and a CLE credit, so it wasn't all for nothing.
On my way home I stopped by Target for necessaries, but ended up splurging on a vintage-look $10 t-shirt that says, "Will work for shoes" with Dorothy's ruby slippers splashed across the front. (I wanted to post a pic, but can't find the same shirt anywhere online--and my shirt is waaayyy cuter than any of the ones my google search came up with.) I don't usually buy (or even look at) Target clothes, because I don't think they hold up well, but this one fit my situation so perfectly that I couldn't resist.
Today I dragged myself to a bar association presentation directed at women. I met up with a couple of former coworkers, which was nice. They said that lots of people in the office had mentioned how much they missed me.
I was disappointed with the presentation. It was dubbed "Inspiring Women" and was a panel discussion by several prominent female lawyers. Their spiel was that they are all successful women lawyers who have overcome adversity and have found success. Which is certainly true--they are all successful and they all began practicing at a time when women lawyers were greatly outnumbered by men.
But they made it sound like their career path was all rainbows and butterflies. "Yes you can have it all. I raised two kids and I am the managing partner at BigLawFirm."
She didn't mention what it feel like when you have to miss putting your kids to bed 3 nights in a row. Or how the very last thing in the world that you want to do on a Saturday morning after working a 65 hour week is go to a 9:00 a.m. soccer game. Except for maybe going back to work after that soccer game. Or how to handle a boss who tries to turn you into a "special situation" when you complain about working 30% more hours than you agreed to and without additional compensation--just because you are a mom.
There was no substance to their discussions--no real picture of what it is like to balance a demanding career and a family.
But I got a great piece of chocolate cake and a CLE credit, so it wasn't all for nothing.
On my way home I stopped by Target for necessaries, but ended up splurging on a vintage-look $10 t-shirt that says, "Will work for shoes" with Dorothy's ruby slippers splashed across the front. (I wanted to post a pic, but can't find the same shirt anywhere online--and my shirt is waaayyy cuter than any of the ones my google search came up with.) I don't usually buy (or even look at) Target clothes, because I don't think they hold up well, but this one fit my situation so perfectly that I couldn't resist.
5/27/09
No napping today
Met with temp agency recruiter. Definitely not the highlight of my day--meeting the recruiter, who was wearing a polyester suit, in a bare-bones windowless office. But they'll help me out with finding a permanent position, and in the meantime, there is a doc review project starting in another week.
I did not know that I would be locked into a doc review project once I started--so I told them that for now I am only interested in short term projects. I do not want to sign on for a 6 week project only to have the perfect job fall in my lap (which is exactly what would happen, the way my life typically works out.)
Then, DH and I decided to visit MIL this weekend. The inlaws are living out of a hotel for the next three weeks while MIL receives combo chemo/radiation treatments. They are about 700 miles from home, but only about 250 miles from us, so we thought we'd go down for the weekend to lift her spirits.
I spent the rest of my afternoon planning meals that I could make for them that MIL could possibly tolerate.
Then I researched cheap, decent hotels on Hotwire and Priceline. There are better deals to be had on Priceline, and I am better able to gauge which hotel I will end up with. But Priceline will only guarantee one bed--a problem for a family of 5. So I went with Hotwire and I ended up with the Crowne Plaza for $60/night.
Tomorrow I have another interview. Afterward, I'll cook for the inlaws and pack us up.
Friday the kids have field day at school. Usually these things end early, so DH and I will go the field day thing and then pull the kids out of school and hit the road as soon as they start wrapping up.
I did not know that I would be locked into a doc review project once I started--so I told them that for now I am only interested in short term projects. I do not want to sign on for a 6 week project only to have the perfect job fall in my lap (which is exactly what would happen, the way my life typically works out.)
Then, DH and I decided to visit MIL this weekend. The inlaws are living out of a hotel for the next three weeks while MIL receives combo chemo/radiation treatments. They are about 700 miles from home, but only about 250 miles from us, so we thought we'd go down for the weekend to lift her spirits.
I spent the rest of my afternoon planning meals that I could make for them that MIL could possibly tolerate.
Then I researched cheap, decent hotels on Hotwire and Priceline. There are better deals to be had on Priceline, and I am better able to gauge which hotel I will end up with. But Priceline will only guarantee one bed--a problem for a family of 5. So I went with Hotwire and I ended up with the Crowne Plaza for $60/night.
Tomorrow I have another interview. Afterward, I'll cook for the inlaws and pack us up.
Friday the kids have field day at school. Usually these things end early, so DH and I will go the field day thing and then pull the kids out of school and hit the road as soon as they start wrapping up.
5/26/09
Okay, so I may have wallowed a little bit today.
I watched a little too much television. I made good progress through a book (it really seems to be dragging--I am sooo tempted to peek at the end and just get it over with). I took a nap.
A temp agency called to set up an interview for a doc review project. I am not excited at all. Doc review will help ease the financial strain--but I want a real job [insert whine]. I think my lack of enthusiasm stems largely from this post that I read last week. They also wanted me to fill out a job application. I hate filling out applications--it just seems to demeaning at this point in my career. It's not like they don't already have all of the information they asked for, since they clearly received my resume.
I am trying not to assume the worst because I haven't heard anything regarding the job that I interviewed for last week. (The second one--I know I'm not getting a callback from the first one, and I am just fine with that.) We are coming off of a holiday weekend, and not everybody has the life of leisure that I do.
Hopefully the fact that I have to get dressed and out of the house for an interview tomorrow will leave me less inclined to wallow.
A temp agency called to set up an interview for a doc review project. I am not excited at all. Doc review will help ease the financial strain--but I want a real job [insert whine]. I think my lack of enthusiasm stems largely from this post that I read last week. They also wanted me to fill out a job application. I hate filling out applications--it just seems to demeaning at this point in my career. It's not like they don't already have all of the information they asked for, since they clearly received my resume.
I am trying not to assume the worst because I haven't heard anything regarding the job that I interviewed for last week. (The second one--I know I'm not getting a callback from the first one, and I am just fine with that.) We are coming off of a holiday weekend, and not everybody has the life of leisure that I do.
Hopefully the fact that I have to get dressed and out of the house for an interview tomorrow will leave me less inclined to wallow.
I am such a wussie
I got all teary when Sotomayor was talking about her mom.
I thought her speech was pretty good, although she was obviously nervous. I will be interested to learn more about her as the confirmation hearings progress. I like that a female Hispanic was nominated, but I don't want to see someone on the Court merely because of her ethnicity or gender (coughPalincough).
I thought her speech was pretty good, although she was obviously nervous. I will be interested to learn more about her as the confirmation hearings progress. I like that a female Hispanic was nominated, but I don't want to see someone on the Court merely because of her ethnicity or gender (coughPalincough).
5/24/09
The Great Outdoors
This morning we headed out to go geocaching and hiking at a nature preserve about 40 miles from home. We ended up hiking about 8 miles. I am shocked--we usually get about a mile before the kids are ready to give it up. And the terrain was quite a bit more rugged that we are accustomed to. But it was such a peaceful area and the weather was really nice.
Came home and threw a couple of T-bones and some corn on the grill for dinner. Meanwhile, I made this chocolate cake, which was so simple and totally yummy.
Then we discovered that TT brought home a tick. I think I successfully removed it. Unfortunately, I washed it down the sink. My subsequent google research indicates that I should have saved it for identification purposes. Fortunately, I took note of it, and my google research indicates that it is an American Dog Tick, which is not known to carry Lyme disease. (But it is known to carry Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.) I am trying not to freak out about the tick--none of us has ever had one before.
It was nice to get out of the house--especially since our entertainment bet has been severely slashed.
I really hope the job I interviewed for on Thursday works out. But of course, the more I analyze the interview, the more things I find that I could have or should have done differently. Hopefully I will hear something early next week. My positive attitude is beginning to wane and I can tell that I have a short fuse. I'm afraid that if I am unemployed for more than another week or two my family will be ready to ship me off somewhere!
Came home and threw a couple of T-bones and some corn on the grill for dinner. Meanwhile, I made this chocolate cake, which was so simple and totally yummy.
Then we discovered that TT brought home a tick. I think I successfully removed it. Unfortunately, I washed it down the sink. My subsequent google research indicates that I should have saved it for identification purposes. Fortunately, I took note of it, and my google research indicates that it is an American Dog Tick, which is not known to carry Lyme disease. (But it is known to carry Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.) I am trying not to freak out about the tick--none of us has ever had one before.
It was nice to get out of the house--especially since our entertainment bet has been severely slashed.
I really hope the job I interviewed for on Thursday works out. But of course, the more I analyze the interview, the more things I find that I could have or should have done differently. Hopefully I will hear something early next week. My positive attitude is beginning to wane and I can tell that I have a short fuse. I'm afraid that if I am unemployed for more than another week or two my family will be ready to ship me off somewhere!
5/22/09
Still not wallowing
I've managed to stay remarkably busy for someone who doesn't have a job. In fact, my kitchen still isn't painted. I though I was ready to hit the ground running with the paining on Tuesday, but instead spend half a day taping and draping--a bigger project in the kitchen than in other rooms.
Tuesday night the girls had their end of soccer season party at a local water-park, so that took up the rest of my afternoon and evening.
Wednesday morning I had an interview and lunch with DH afterward. I poked around on the way home, did a little window shopping and ran a couple of errands.
Yesterday, another interview. Afterward I had lunch with a former associate. She was laid off shortly after I gave notice--so we both have nothing but time on our hands.
I will admit that I am not an adventurous eater. But, I decided to expand my horizons and we went to a "latin fusion" restaurant. It was fabulous. We had plantain chips as an appetizer and I had a jerk'd brisket taco--yum! We also had a delish drink which involved frozen coke with rum and a twist of lime. Kinda like a Coke Icee with liquor. Double yum!
However, I never, ever drink in the middle of the day (this may have been the first time ever) and all I wanted was to nap the rest of the afternoon. I also think the alcohol inflamed my sinuses, so I felt like I was in a haze the rest of the day.
Today I am back to the painting--currently waiting for the primer to dry. Hopefully I will be done today, because I am really ready to have my kitchen back.
I also just set up another interview for next week--yea! But I really hope that the job that I interviewed for yesterday works out.
Tuesday night the girls had their end of soccer season party at a local water-park, so that took up the rest of my afternoon and evening.
Wednesday morning I had an interview and lunch with DH afterward. I poked around on the way home, did a little window shopping and ran a couple of errands.
Yesterday, another interview. Afterward I had lunch with a former associate. She was laid off shortly after I gave notice--so we both have nothing but time on our hands.
I will admit that I am not an adventurous eater. But, I decided to expand my horizons and we went to a "latin fusion" restaurant. It was fabulous. We had plantain chips as an appetizer and I had a jerk'd brisket taco--yum! We also had a delish drink which involved frozen coke with rum and a twist of lime. Kinda like a Coke Icee with liquor. Double yum!
However, I never, ever drink in the middle of the day (this may have been the first time ever) and all I wanted was to nap the rest of the afternoon. I also think the alcohol inflamed my sinuses, so I felt like I was in a haze the rest of the day.
Today I am back to the painting--currently waiting for the primer to dry. Hopefully I will be done today, because I am really ready to have my kitchen back.
I also just set up another interview for next week--yea! But I really hope that the job that I interviewed for yesterday works out.
5/21/09
The Ancestral Tree
Today's interview went much better than yesterday's. It is a smaller, start-up firm and seems to be a really great environment. But apparently every firm that I have interviewed with stems from the same great tree.
We'll call that tree C & T. I actually had a co-defendant who worked for C & T and mentioned all of the offshoots (groups of partners and associates who left to form their own firms) from that firm. Apparently Old Firm was an offshoot from C & T from long ago (maybe 20 years). The firm that I received an offer from was a more recent offshoot from C & T (maybe 10 years ago). The firm that I interviewed with today was an offshoot from C & T about 1 year ago. Even one of the named partners at the firm that I interviewed at yesterday started at C & T.
So, since all of these partners started at the same place, they all know each other. This actually seems to be a benefit for me. First, they are familiar with Big Boss, so I don't really need to say much about why I was leaving. And second, the fact that I was working for old firm and left on my own, plus I had an offer from the other firm seems to provide me with a layer of respectability. I've already been through the vetting process.
Anyway, hopefully something will work out.
We'll call that tree C & T. I actually had a co-defendant who worked for C & T and mentioned all of the offshoots (groups of partners and associates who left to form their own firms) from that firm. Apparently Old Firm was an offshoot from C & T from long ago (maybe 20 years). The firm that I received an offer from was a more recent offshoot from C & T (maybe 10 years ago). The firm that I interviewed with today was an offshoot from C & T about 1 year ago. Even one of the named partners at the firm that I interviewed at yesterday started at C & T.
So, since all of these partners started at the same place, they all know each other. This actually seems to be a benefit for me. First, they are familiar with Big Boss, so I don't really need to say much about why I was leaving. And second, the fact that I was working for old firm and left on my own, plus I had an offer from the other firm seems to provide me with a layer of respectability. I've already been through the vetting process.
Anyway, hopefully something will work out.
5/20/09
Disappointed
I can't say that today's interview went particularly well. Although I perfectly fit the description in the ad that was posted, I would now not even consider this position if I were not unemployed.
First, it is coverage work. I have done coverage work and I do not like it. I would not have applied for a coverage position.
Second, their minimum billable is 180 and 200 is the norm.
Third, the commute is brutal. DH works in the building next door and is commute is generally 1.5 hours each way. There is no way in hell I could do that and hit 200/month. (Oh, and they like face time, too.) DH and I talked about moving if we were both working in that area, but it is a terrible time to sell our house. Even if we could actually sell it, we would likely lose all equity--which is about all we have going for a down payment on a new house.
I'm pretty sure that I won't be getting a call back. I said going in that I wasn't interested in putting in 200/month in perpetuity, so that probably killed it right there. And she was asking about all my experience, which I was very enthusiastic about, and said, "So, you're a litigator at heart, huh?" To which I answered, "yes." Which can be interpreted as, "Yes, I thrive on the drama of the courtroom and might shrivel up and die if I were confined to my office reviewing insurance policies all day."
I did make a little speech to try to save myself, but I'm sure she saw through it, and honestly, nothing about this job appeals to me. (Although the interviewer was very nice and we actually seemed to have a lot in common. She lives a few blocks from me and her husband is in the same industry as mine.)
So we'll just consider this my warm-up for tomorrow's interview. And I am in the process of setting up another interview next week. I just wish this process would move along a little faster.
First, it is coverage work. I have done coverage work and I do not like it. I would not have applied for a coverage position.
Second, their minimum billable is 180 and 200 is the norm.
Third, the commute is brutal. DH works in the building next door and is commute is generally 1.5 hours each way. There is no way in hell I could do that and hit 200/month. (Oh, and they like face time, too.) DH and I talked about moving if we were both working in that area, but it is a terrible time to sell our house. Even if we could actually sell it, we would likely lose all equity--which is about all we have going for a down payment on a new house.
I'm pretty sure that I won't be getting a call back. I said going in that I wasn't interested in putting in 200/month in perpetuity, so that probably killed it right there. And she was asking about all my experience, which I was very enthusiastic about, and said, "So, you're a litigator at heart, huh?" To which I answered, "yes." Which can be interpreted as, "Yes, I thrive on the drama of the courtroom and might shrivel up and die if I were confined to my office reviewing insurance policies all day."
I did make a little speech to try to save myself, but I'm sure she saw through it, and honestly, nothing about this job appeals to me. (Although the interviewer was very nice and we actually seemed to have a lot in common. She lives a few blocks from me and her husband is in the same industry as mine.)
So we'll just consider this my warm-up for tomorrow's interview. And I am in the process of setting up another interview next week. I just wish this process would move along a little faster.
5/18/09
Today I scheduled two interviews for later in the week
For real jobs, not contract jobs. Woot!
One is downtown, a few blocks down from old firm. The other is in the 'burbs, a few blocks down from DH's office.
Hopefully one will pan out, but I applied for several contract positions today, just in case.
One is downtown, a few blocks down from old firm. The other is in the 'burbs, a few blocks down from DH's office.
Hopefully one will pan out, but I applied for several contract positions today, just in case.
I will not wallow
I refuse to wallow in a pit of self-pity--which would be oh so easy to do--during my unemployedness and while the girls are still in school. So I got up and started prepping the kitchen for painting. I painted the rest of my downstairs the last time I was unemployed, right after the bar. But then I got a job and never made it to the kitchen.
I have been taking down all the knick-knacks and greenery that live in that useless space on top of my kitchen cabinets. It is truly disgusting up there--I think there is a 1/4" of dust coating everything. I'm pretty anal about keeping my light fixtures and ceiling fans dusted--I guess I just never thought about the tops of the cabinets.
I may paint TT's room once I get through the kitchen. We painted a castle surrounded by rolling hills when the twins were toddlers, and now she wants a big girl room. But we used textured paint for the castle, which is going to be a PITA to get off the walls.
Also on my to do list (excluding the obvious job hunting):
I have been taking down all the knick-knacks and greenery that live in that useless space on top of my kitchen cabinets. It is truly disgusting up there--I think there is a 1/4" of dust coating everything. I'm pretty anal about keeping my light fixtures and ceiling fans dusted--I guess I just never thought about the tops of the cabinets.
I may paint TT's room once I get through the kitchen. We painted a castle surrounded by rolling hills when the twins were toddlers, and now she wants a big girl room. But we used textured paint for the castle, which is going to be a PITA to get off the walls.
Also on my to do list (excluding the obvious job hunting):
- pick up dry cleaning
- send out MIL's Mother's Day gift (there is a perfectly excusable reason why this hasn't been done already, but I won't bore you)
- finish making the girls' jeans into shorts
- remove winter clothing from girls' closets
- Spray the lawn with week killer (because the $40 bag of Weed 'n' Feed did nothing by feed the weeds)
- Laundry, laundry, laundry
5/15/09
The End
Today went well. My secretary ordered a big cookie and invited the office to come say goodbye. (Which in true Cake Wrecks fashion said, "Will Miss You"--I loved it!) It was noted by many that Big Boss would have flipped had he come upon our little get together--which just made it that much better.
I received lots of hugs and good wishes. Several people offered to pass my resume along and others volunteered to serve as references. Most agreed that I was making the right decision. (Although many did not know the whole story and so responding to "Where are you going?" was a little awkward.)
I left with the feeling that I was well-liked by my co-workers and that they seemed genuinely sad to see me go.
Now I am hitting the ground running with the job hunting. I applied for 5 jobs today, most of which I am well qualified for (a nice change from when I was hunting for entry-level positions.) Hopefully I'll start interviewing next week, and of course, I'll continue searching and sending out my resume.
I received lots of hugs and good wishes. Several people offered to pass my resume along and others volunteered to serve as references. Most agreed that I was making the right decision. (Although many did not know the whole story and so responding to "Where are you going?" was a little awkward.)
I left with the feeling that I was well-liked by my co-workers and that they seemed genuinely sad to see me go.
Now I am hitting the ground running with the job hunting. I applied for 5 jobs today, most of which I am well qualified for (a nice change from when I was hunting for entry-level positions.) Hopefully I'll start interviewing next week, and of course, I'll continue searching and sending out my resume.
5/14/09
Advice for life: Always be nice to everybody
This is something that I tell my kids a lot. Be especially kind to the ones that every one else is not so kind to.
I was recently friended on Facebook by a high school classmate. He was a nerdy kid who was pretty much ignored by everyone. We didn't hang out together, but I always tried to be nice to him, and we had all of our honors classes together. Now he has a Ph.D. in physics and has a fancy job in D.C., presumably making buckets more money than most of the cool kids with whom we went to school. You just never know where someone is going to end up. (Especially those "nerdy" kids.)
And today I mentioned to the service center guy that tomorrow was my last day. The service center guys are pretty much the bottom of the office totem pole--and a lot of people seem to treat them as such. But Service Center Guy and I always joked around and I treated him the same as I would any attorney that I work with. So, when I mentioned that I was leaving and why, he told me that his wife also works in a law firm and that they are looking for an attorney. Maybe it'll work and and maybe it won't, but I wouldn't even have that opportunity if I didn't have a relationship with Service Center Guy.
As it turns out, lots of people in my firm are trying to help with my situation. A secretary gave me the name of another firm that is hiring, and another associate gave me the link for his law school's job board. Next week, I'm meeting two other associates at a bar association meeting targeted at women-hopefully a good networking opportunity.
Even Partner called today and told me to use him as a reference (yes, I was shocked.) I think he was impressed that I was still working and sending out email about my cases today. But I am determined to leave with my character in tact.
Oh, and I got a request from another firm to do an interview next week! I haven't even started sending out my resume yet. (I was trying to jazz it up a little bit yesterday before I started sending it out.) I think the recruiter I was working with sent them my info--even though she can't collect a recruiting fee from that firm.
Things are looking up. Hopefully my unemployment will be short-lived and I will be moving on to bigger and better in no time.
I was recently friended on Facebook by a high school classmate. He was a nerdy kid who was pretty much ignored by everyone. We didn't hang out together, but I always tried to be nice to him, and we had all of our honors classes together. Now he has a Ph.D. in physics and has a fancy job in D.C., presumably making buckets more money than most of the cool kids with whom we went to school. You just never know where someone is going to end up. (Especially those "nerdy" kids.)
And today I mentioned to the service center guy that tomorrow was my last day. The service center guys are pretty much the bottom of the office totem pole--and a lot of people seem to treat them as such. But Service Center Guy and I always joked around and I treated him the same as I would any attorney that I work with. So, when I mentioned that I was leaving and why, he told me that his wife also works in a law firm and that they are looking for an attorney. Maybe it'll work and and maybe it won't, but I wouldn't even have that opportunity if I didn't have a relationship with Service Center Guy.
As it turns out, lots of people in my firm are trying to help with my situation. A secretary gave me the name of another firm that is hiring, and another associate gave me the link for his law school's job board. Next week, I'm meeting two other associates at a bar association meeting targeted at women-hopefully a good networking opportunity.
Even Partner called today and told me to use him as a reference (yes, I was shocked.) I think he was impressed that I was still working and sending out email about my cases today. But I am determined to leave with my character in tact.
Oh, and I got a request from another firm to do an interview next week! I haven't even started sending out my resume yet. (I was trying to jazz it up a little bit yesterday before I started sending it out.) I think the recruiter I was working with sent them my info--even though she can't collect a recruiting fee from that firm.
Things are looking up. Hopefully my unemployment will be short-lived and I will be moving on to bigger and better in no time.
5/13/09
It's 2:00 p.m.--do you know where L.C. is?
Sitting on my couch.
I was up at 4:15 this morning to make a 7:30 flight for an out-of town deposition. I have already billed 9 hours today. Typically, I would be expected to return to the office and put in at least another 4 hours. It was nice to come home.
As Kady in her comment to my last post, I pulled some of the older posts. They were very angry and bitter, and now that I have had my chance to bitch and whine and receive all of your sympathy and well wishes, I pulled them (hopefully) before they achieve permanence on the internet.
But the quick rundown is that I was offered another job that seemed like the polar opposite of my current firm, where I have been quite unhappy. After the new firm extended their offer and I put in notice, a conflict arose. (I thought a preliminary conflict check had already been run because the new firm already knew of one conflict.) My firm won't waive the conflict. They initially counter-offered with more money and better hours, and when I tried to pin them down on specifics they back-pedaled and refused to give me actual numbers. I said that I wouldn't withdraw my resignation unless we came to an agreement as to salary and hours--which never happened. Meanwhile, the new firm withdrew their offer due to the conflict. Therefore, I will be unemployed as of Friday.
The whole situation sucks frog huevos* but I am determined to come out on top.
* Hat tip to PT for adding that phraseology to my lexicon.
I was up at 4:15 this morning to make a 7:30 flight for an out-of town deposition. I have already billed 9 hours today. Typically, I would be expected to return to the office and put in at least another 4 hours. It was nice to come home.
As Kady in her comment to my last post, I pulled some of the older posts. They were very angry and bitter, and now that I have had my chance to bitch and whine and receive all of your sympathy and well wishes, I pulled them (hopefully) before they achieve permanence on the internet.
But the quick rundown is that I was offered another job that seemed like the polar opposite of my current firm, where I have been quite unhappy. After the new firm extended their offer and I put in notice, a conflict arose. (I thought a preliminary conflict check had already been run because the new firm already knew of one conflict.) My firm won't waive the conflict. They initially counter-offered with more money and better hours, and when I tried to pin them down on specifics they back-pedaled and refused to give me actual numbers. I said that I wouldn't withdraw my resignation unless we came to an agreement as to salary and hours--which never happened. Meanwhile, the new firm withdrew their offer due to the conflict. Therefore, I will be unemployed as of Friday.
The whole situation sucks frog huevos* but I am determined to come out on top.
* Hat tip to PT for adding that phraseology to my lexicon.
5/12/09
Done
So, it looks like I am unemployed as of Friday. Partner wouldn't even look at me today (Big Boss was out all day). I think it speaks volumes that my superiors are incapable of being mature and professional while I am continuing to do my job through Friday like I said I would. Apparently class and dignity is not their strong suit. The good news is that I am attending an out of town deposition tomorrow and both Big Boss and Partner are out of the office Thursday and Friday. So I never have to see them again, and can live out my final days in peace.
I am pretty much ok with my decision. I think that if I stayed my anger and bitterness over Big Boss's actions would have made me far more miserable than I already was. Their counter-offer followed by back-pedaling simply underscores why I was leaving in the first place and makes me all the more confident about leaving.
My unemployed status will certainly require some sacrifices, but I think we can pull through. Hell, we lived on a single income for almost 10 years before I got a job.
And I am looking forward to getting to spend some time with the girlies. There is a lot going on at the end of the year, and I am glad that I will be able to participate.
So, fingers crossed, my unemployed status will last just long enough to feel like a vacation, allow me to regroup, reorganize my life, and hang with the kiddos for a couple of weeks. I am so tired of the drama and truly ready to move on.
I am pretty much ok with my decision. I think that if I stayed my anger and bitterness over Big Boss's actions would have made me far more miserable than I already was. Their counter-offer followed by back-pedaling simply underscores why I was leaving in the first place and makes me all the more confident about leaving.
My unemployed status will certainly require some sacrifices, but I think we can pull through. Hell, we lived on a single income for almost 10 years before I got a job.
And I am looking forward to getting to spend some time with the girlies. There is a lot going on at the end of the year, and I am glad that I will be able to participate.
So, fingers crossed, my unemployed status will last just long enough to feel like a vacation, allow me to regroup, reorganize my life, and hang with the kiddos for a couple of weeks. I am so tired of the drama and truly ready to move on.
5/6/09
Bitten in the ass by karma
Today has sucked. I am beginning to think that I have royally f'd up my life in every possible way.
First, I found that the imaginary conflict that Big Boss mentioned is not imaginary. That is a problem, because it is a case that I am actively involved with. New Firm hasn't told me what they plan to do, but I imagine they will want a conflict waiver. And I'm not at all sure that Big Boss will give it to me.
About the same time that I was finding this out I got a call from Lucy informing me that she wouldn't be picking up the kids from school today. Thanks for the whopping 3 hours' notice. I asked if she was planning to pick them up next week and she told me that she was quitting if I wasn't going to use her over the summer. Fan-freaking-tastic.
I understand that she is angry about having her hours cut, but we have treated her very well otherwise. She just doesn't get that we can't afford to pay her over the summer. To employ her full-time would be more than $2500/month. And economics is only half the issue, anyway.
The twins just curled up in my lap and cried when I told them that Lucy had quit. I felt like the mean mom of the year. I am pretty peeved that she left without even bothering to tell them goodbye.
Oh, but it just keeps getting better. It turns out that Jen is nuts. You know what they say, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." Anyway, this afternoon she sent me an email about the summer saying that she would need Wednesday afternoons off to attend a particular class.
That particular class is a particular kind of therapy for people with borderline personality disorder. BPD is more than depression and just short of psychosis.
Now, it's not like this came out of the clear blue sky. I had noticed a few quirky personality traits. And yesterday she said something to me that I had already intended to look into.
But BPD is serious. It would be fine if she were just a housekeeper, or my secretary or a coworker. But this is somebody who is caring for my children. Someone who might have issues with judgment or making impulsive decisions. Caring for my children. And on the minor end of the spectrum (although increasingly problematic if I actually do start a new job) someone who might not be dependable.
So I'm thinking that I will be returning to my original summer plan of putting the girls in a day camp. I will talk to Jen first, but I am very concerned about allowing someone with BPD care for my children all summer long.
And of course, I no longer have Lucy as a back-up.
I honestly don't think my life could be any more f'd up right now. I may or may not have a job in two weeks. I may or may not have a babysitter for the summer. At least DH hasn't left me yet.
First, I found that the imaginary conflict that Big Boss mentioned is not imaginary. That is a problem, because it is a case that I am actively involved with. New Firm hasn't told me what they plan to do, but I imagine they will want a conflict waiver. And I'm not at all sure that Big Boss will give it to me.
About the same time that I was finding this out I got a call from Lucy informing me that she wouldn't be picking up the kids from school today. Thanks for the whopping 3 hours' notice. I asked if she was planning to pick them up next week and she told me that she was quitting if I wasn't going to use her over the summer. Fan-freaking-tastic.
I understand that she is angry about having her hours cut, but we have treated her very well otherwise. She just doesn't get that we can't afford to pay her over the summer. To employ her full-time would be more than $2500/month. And economics is only half the issue, anyway.
The twins just curled up in my lap and cried when I told them that Lucy had quit. I felt like the mean mom of the year. I am pretty peeved that she left without even bothering to tell them goodbye.
Oh, but it just keeps getting better. It turns out that Jen is nuts. You know what they say, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." Anyway, this afternoon she sent me an email about the summer saying that she would need Wednesday afternoons off to attend a particular class.
That particular class is a particular kind of therapy for people with borderline personality disorder. BPD is more than depression and just short of psychosis.
Now, it's not like this came out of the clear blue sky. I had noticed a few quirky personality traits. And yesterday she said something to me that I had already intended to look into.
But BPD is serious. It would be fine if she were just a housekeeper, or my secretary or a coworker. But this is somebody who is caring for my children. Someone who might have issues with judgment or making impulsive decisions. Caring for my children. And on the minor end of the spectrum (although increasingly problematic if I actually do start a new job) someone who might not be dependable.
So I'm thinking that I will be returning to my original summer plan of putting the girls in a day camp. I will talk to Jen first, but I am very concerned about allowing someone with BPD care for my children all summer long.
And of course, I no longer have Lucy as a back-up.
I honestly don't think my life could be any more f'd up right now. I may or may not have a job in two weeks. I may or may not have a babysitter for the summer. At least DH hasn't left me yet.
5/4/09
Can I have one more uncomfortable conversation today? Please?
So I turned in my resignation to Big Boss this morning. It was obvious that Partner had already tipped him off. He pretty much just said, "ok, whatever."
Well, then he added, "But you know there's a conflict with the X case? I mean, that could be a problem for you. The client would have to waive the conflict, and I just don't know whether they will do that for you. I'm going to have to think about what to do about that." [No this is not THE conflict case. Big Boss doesn't know about that case.]
Which was complete and total BS. I have been involved from the very beginning of X case. It is in pre-litigation--if the other side has retained counsel, they haven't bothered to tell us about it. What's more, even if there were a true conflict, this is a very small case taken by Big Boss solely as a favor to a friend. It's unimaginable that the client would not grant the waiver if asked by Big Boss. But really--I have no idea what is up with this imaginary conflict.
The rest of the day went smoothly. Big Boss was surprisingly pleasant. But then he started giving me assignments on brand new cases that I had never worked on. WTH? Why on earth would you give someone whose halfway out the door new assignments.
He's also bumping up a bunch of deadlines on another case that I have worked on so that I will have everything done before I leave--but at least that makes sense.
Then this evening, I had to have a chat with our nanny, Lucy. I have posted before about having issues with her. She is incredibly dependable and loves the twins like a grandmother. But she doesn't get along with PS at all and clearly favors the twins. And she is increasingly reluctant to take the kids places--which is why I have a nanny in the first place. A few weeks ago her car battery died when she was picking up the girls from school. Instead of just walking home (we live 4 blocks from school and the weather was nice!) she called one of our neighbors to come pick them up. This neighbor doesn't even pick her own kids up from school!
Anyway, DH and I decided that we were not going to use her over the summer. We used her last summer, and it was so very expensive that it nearly broke us. A day camp would cost only 60% what we paid her--so that was what we were planning to do for the summer. I told her this two months ago, so that she would have adequate time to plan or make other arrangements for the summer.
Since that time, we have been using another sitter, Jen two days a week. Jen also cleans house, and has been doing a fantastic job. She loves hanging out with all of the girls, and has been begging to get to take them more places. So, I talked to Jen about reducing her regular hourly rate and taking a full-time position over the summer. Jen's salary would be in line with what we would pay for day camp, we would still have the convenience of having the girls in their own home, and she would take the girls to the pool several times a week and where ever else they would like to go. Oh, and she'd still be helping out with the housework.
So, because Lucy had been pumping the kids for info about their summer plans, I felt that I needed to share this information with her. Needless to say, she was not happy. She has mentioned more than once that we are "rich" now, so I guess she didn't believe my statement that this was a largely economic decision. I also told her that I wanted someone who would take the kids places and keep them busy all summer. She replied that kids are just too busy now days and need more time at home.
Then she said, "I can't believe you are treating me this way. I was with you when you were going to school, and you just come in and replace me with someone else. And to treat an older person like that is just wrong."
Ok, I understand that she is unhappy, I really do. But 1) I could never get away with speaking to my employer in such a way; and 2) I found someone who does her job better for less pay (no, she's not illegal, and yes, she's earning a fair amount above minimum wage.) I am not going to put my family under financial strain because Lucy thinks I owe her something.* The only reason that she is still around at all is because the twins love her. I don't want to be unfair to her, but she is no longer the best thing for our family.
* No, I don't think that I am causing her financial strain. Of course, I don't know her finances, but based on what I do know about her personal life, I think she works for her "mad money." And that is why I have her 3 months notice of our summer plans--she could certainly pick up another summer job if that is what she wanted to do.
Well, then he added, "But you know there's a conflict with the X case? I mean, that could be a problem for you. The client would have to waive the conflict, and I just don't know whether they will do that for you. I'm going to have to think about what to do about that." [No this is not THE conflict case. Big Boss doesn't know about that case.]
Which was complete and total BS. I have been involved from the very beginning of X case. It is in pre-litigation--if the other side has retained counsel, they haven't bothered to tell us about it. What's more, even if there were a true conflict, this is a very small case taken by Big Boss solely as a favor to a friend. It's unimaginable that the client would not grant the waiver if asked by Big Boss. But really--I have no idea what is up with this imaginary conflict.
The rest of the day went smoothly. Big Boss was surprisingly pleasant. But then he started giving me assignments on brand new cases that I had never worked on. WTH? Why on earth would you give someone whose halfway out the door new assignments.
He's also bumping up a bunch of deadlines on another case that I have worked on so that I will have everything done before I leave--but at least that makes sense.
Then this evening, I had to have a chat with our nanny, Lucy. I have posted before about having issues with her. She is incredibly dependable and loves the twins like a grandmother. But she doesn't get along with PS at all and clearly favors the twins. And she is increasingly reluctant to take the kids places--which is why I have a nanny in the first place. A few weeks ago her car battery died when she was picking up the girls from school. Instead of just walking home (we live 4 blocks from school and the weather was nice!) she called one of our neighbors to come pick them up. This neighbor doesn't even pick her own kids up from school!
Anyway, DH and I decided that we were not going to use her over the summer. We used her last summer, and it was so very expensive that it nearly broke us. A day camp would cost only 60% what we paid her--so that was what we were planning to do for the summer. I told her this two months ago, so that she would have adequate time to plan or make other arrangements for the summer.
Since that time, we have been using another sitter, Jen two days a week. Jen also cleans house, and has been doing a fantastic job. She loves hanging out with all of the girls, and has been begging to get to take them more places. So, I talked to Jen about reducing her regular hourly rate and taking a full-time position over the summer. Jen's salary would be in line with what we would pay for day camp, we would still have the convenience of having the girls in their own home, and she would take the girls to the pool several times a week and where ever else they would like to go. Oh, and she'd still be helping out with the housework.
So, because Lucy had been pumping the kids for info about their summer plans, I felt that I needed to share this information with her. Needless to say, she was not happy. She has mentioned more than once that we are "rich" now, so I guess she didn't believe my statement that this was a largely economic decision. I also told her that I wanted someone who would take the kids places and keep them busy all summer. She replied that kids are just too busy now days and need more time at home.
Then she said, "I can't believe you are treating me this way. I was with you when you were going to school, and you just come in and replace me with someone else. And to treat an older person like that is just wrong."
Ok, I understand that she is unhappy, I really do. But 1) I could never get away with speaking to my employer in such a way; and 2) I found someone who does her job better for less pay (no, she's not illegal, and yes, she's earning a fair amount above minimum wage.) I am not going to put my family under financial strain because Lucy thinks I owe her something.* The only reason that she is still around at all is because the twins love her. I don't want to be unfair to her, but she is no longer the best thing for our family.
* No, I don't think that I am causing her financial strain. Of course, I don't know her finances, but based on what I do know about her personal life, I think she works for her "mad money." And that is why I have her 3 months notice of our summer plans--she could certainly pick up another summer job if that is what she wanted to do.
5/3/09
Good weekend
This weekend has been exactly what I needed--relaxing.
The twins had a sleepover Friday night, so it was just PS, DH and I. We thought PS was overdue for some mommy/daddy time, so we went out to dinner and then to a new hangout for bowling, go-cart racing and video gaming. PS had a great time getting all of our attention and we were all pooped by the time we finally made it home at nearly 11:00 p.m.
Saturday morning we were up and at 'em for soccer games. DH took PS to her game, and I was to pick up the twins and head out to TT's game. I made it halfway to the soccer fields when I realized that I hadn't picked up the twins! I think I am losing my mind. Fortunately, I was running ahead of schedule, so my absent mindedness didn't make us late. After the games we all went out for brunch at a local diner. It was nice and relaxing and unhurried. (I almost hate gong out to dinner anymore, because there is always a long wait and the restaurants are always crowded and so loud you can hardly carry on a conversation.)
Then I went out shopping for MIL. She has lost more than 30 lbs. since the cancer returned last November and none of her clothes fit anymore, so I bought her a couple of new spring outfits. (And I may have picked up a new sweater for myself. But it was only $15, and I'm a sucker for a bargain.) But I was so caught up in my shopping that I didn't realize it had started pouring. In the 150' that I ran from the store to my car I got completely, to the skin drenched. It looked like I had just dived into a pool fully clothed. I was only 10 minutes from home, and thankful that I was in the Behemoth because the roads were flooding and I don't think I would have made it in the clown car. My phone started ringing just as I was pulling into the garage--DH was trying to tell me that we were under a tornado warning. It poured buckets the rest of the day, which was a fantastic excuse to nap and generally be a bum.
More slovenliness today. I need to draft my letter of resignation, but I am procrastinating. I am not looking forward to breaking the news to Big Boss. But I think once I get over that hump, I can start really looking forward to the change.
The twins had a sleepover Friday night, so it was just PS, DH and I. We thought PS was overdue for some mommy/daddy time, so we went out to dinner and then to a new hangout for bowling, go-cart racing and video gaming. PS had a great time getting all of our attention and we were all pooped by the time we finally made it home at nearly 11:00 p.m.
Saturday morning we were up and at 'em for soccer games. DH took PS to her game, and I was to pick up the twins and head out to TT's game. I made it halfway to the soccer fields when I realized that I hadn't picked up the twins! I think I am losing my mind. Fortunately, I was running ahead of schedule, so my absent mindedness didn't make us late. After the games we all went out for brunch at a local diner. It was nice and relaxing and unhurried. (I almost hate gong out to dinner anymore, because there is always a long wait and the restaurants are always crowded and so loud you can hardly carry on a conversation.)
Then I went out shopping for MIL. She has lost more than 30 lbs. since the cancer returned last November and none of her clothes fit anymore, so I bought her a couple of new spring outfits. (And I may have picked up a new sweater for myself. But it was only $15, and I'm a sucker for a bargain.) But I was so caught up in my shopping that I didn't realize it had started pouring. In the 150' that I ran from the store to my car I got completely, to the skin drenched. It looked like I had just dived into a pool fully clothed. I was only 10 minutes from home, and thankful that I was in the Behemoth because the roads were flooding and I don't think I would have made it in the clown car. My phone started ringing just as I was pulling into the garage--DH was trying to tell me that we were under a tornado warning. It poured buckets the rest of the day, which was a fantastic excuse to nap and generally be a bum.
More slovenliness today. I need to draft my letter of resignation, but I am procrastinating. I am not looking forward to breaking the news to Big Boss. But I think once I get over that hump, I can start really looking forward to the change.
5/2/09
I'm neck deep in now.
Friday did not go at all the way I intended, but the waiver shouldn't be a problem and I talked to Partner about leaving. I was told that I was up for a big raise and offered more money to stay. I was surprised by how they want to keep me.
I was very forthcoming with my reasons for leaving and I think I set off some alarm bells.
I will talk to Big Boss on Monday officially tender my resignation. I wanted to talk to him first, but Partner will be out most of next week and I really wanted to talk to Partner in person. And new firm wants me ASAP.
Overall, Friday was stressful--and I don't know what to anticipate on Monday.
I was very forthcoming with my reasons for leaving and I think I set off some alarm bells.
I will talk to Big Boss on Monday officially tender my resignation. I wanted to talk to him first, but Partner will be out most of next week and I really wanted to talk to Partner in person. And new firm wants me ASAP.
Overall, Friday was stressful--and I don't know what to anticipate on Monday.
4/30/09
Drunk Dialed
I received my first drunk dial from another attorney today. It was from this guy. He left a very long and rambling message at 9:00 Tuesday night. You could hear country music playing in the background. I have no idea what the point was or if he expected me to return his call, but it was entertaining.
Advice for the Day: Don't do your call-backs after you've tossed back a few.
Advice for the Day: Don't do your call-backs after you've tossed back a few.
So, the case didn't settle.
And I am left to make the big decision.
DH is telling me to take the offer.
I spoke with an associate at work today about her thoughts on my chances of getting the waiver. It is the first time I have uttered a word to anybody at work. She didn't know if this had ever been an issue in my firm--and recognized the predicament this put me in considering the unpredictability of Big Boss.
I spoke with the recruiter about how often this is an issue. She said it has come up 4 times for her and it has always worked out. And she agreed that it would make my firm look unprofessional not to request the waiver.
I am leaning heavily toward taking the offer--but I have not decided 100%. I am not a big risk-taker and this is a very big risk. I am going to try to talk to the office manager in the morning to find out if she thinks it will be a problem to obtain the waiver.
Anyway, I have to decide by early in the day tomorrow. So, please send positive thoughts that I make the right decision and do not end up unemployed.
DH is telling me to take the offer.
I spoke with an associate at work today about her thoughts on my chances of getting the waiver. It is the first time I have uttered a word to anybody at work. She didn't know if this had ever been an issue in my firm--and recognized the predicament this put me in considering the unpredictability of Big Boss.
I spoke with the recruiter about how often this is an issue. She said it has come up 4 times for her and it has always worked out. And she agreed that it would make my firm look unprofessional not to request the waiver.
I am leaning heavily toward taking the offer--but I have not decided 100%. I am not a big risk-taker and this is a very big risk. I am going to try to talk to the office manager in the morning to find out if she thinks it will be a problem to obtain the waiver.
Anyway, I have to decide by early in the day tomorrow. So, please send positive thoughts that I make the right decision and do not end up unemployed.
4/28/09
A Sticky Pickle
The Good:
I got an offer. And it is for more $ than originally contemplated.
The Bad:
The offer is conditional. Apparently there is a conflict because of a case that I know absolutely nothing about, within another practice group that I do not work with at all, and with attorneys that I rarely see or speak with. The case is set for mediation on Thursday. If the case does not settle on Thursday, the offer is conditional upon obtaining a waiver.
Sooooo, assuming the case does not settle, if I tender my resignation and request the waiver and either my firm or the client refuses the waiver I will suddenly be unemployed in a very, very bad job market.
I truly don't know what to do.
On the one hand, I think that my firm would recommend the waiver to the client, because, given the circumstances, it will appear spiteful not to.
But I don't know have any idea how contentious this matter has been or how the client would feel about the waiver.
It is a huge gamble. I am so unhappy with my current firm--but I was also really unhappy when I was unemployed.
Oh, and I have to decide by Friday, because apparently there are a line of alternative candidates standing behind me.
I got an offer. And it is for more $ than originally contemplated.
The Bad:
The offer is conditional. Apparently there is a conflict because of a case that I know absolutely nothing about, within another practice group that I do not work with at all, and with attorneys that I rarely see or speak with. The case is set for mediation on Thursday. If the case does not settle on Thursday, the offer is conditional upon obtaining a waiver.
Sooooo, assuming the case does not settle, if I tender my resignation and request the waiver and either my firm or the client refuses the waiver I will suddenly be unemployed in a very, very bad job market.
I truly don't know what to do.
On the one hand, I think that my firm would recommend the waiver to the client, because, given the circumstances, it will appear spiteful not to.
But I don't know have any idea how contentious this matter has been or how the client would feel about the waiver.
It is a huge gamble. I am so unhappy with my current firm--but I was also really unhappy when I was unemployed.
Oh, and I have to decide by Friday, because apparently there are a line of alternative candidates standing behind me.
4/27/09
Round 2
I had my second set of interviews this morning, this time with 5 different attorneys. I think it went pretty well. I think I gave the answers they wanted to hear--and they were the truth.
I haven't heard anything back from the recruiter yet, but I really didn't expect to today. I imagine that they will want to compare notes among the people I interviewed with before making a decision.
But . . . when I was sending out my follow-up emails, the most senior partner with whom I met today (but not the one I would be working under) immediately responded (before I even had my other emails drafted!) and said that he hoped that I heard something positive soon and that I would be a good addition to the firm!!!
He seemed to be the one grilling me the hardest this morning--although he was very nice, as was everyone else--so I was thrilled to receive such a positive response from him.
S0--do I respond to this response???
Also, one of the associates that I met with is from my hometown and said there were a few others there from our hometown. And he also knows someone in my current firm and has heard some of the stories.
I am very impressed with this firm. I will definitely take the job if offered. Still trying not to get my hopes up, but it is getting harder not to be optimistic. Fortunately, I have out-of-town depos for the next two days which will keep my mind occupied (and me out of the office!)
I haven't heard anything back from the recruiter yet, but I really didn't expect to today. I imagine that they will want to compare notes among the people I interviewed with before making a decision.
But . . . when I was sending out my follow-up emails, the most senior partner with whom I met today (but not the one I would be working under) immediately responded (before I even had my other emails drafted!) and said that he hoped that I heard something positive soon and that I would be a good addition to the firm!!!
He seemed to be the one grilling me the hardest this morning--although he was very nice, as was everyone else--so I was thrilled to receive such a positive response from him.
S0--do I respond to this response???
Also, one of the associates that I met with is from my hometown and said there were a few others there from our hometown. And he also knows someone in my current firm and has heard some of the stories.
I am very impressed with this firm. I will definitely take the job if offered. Still trying not to get my hopes up, but it is getting harder not to be optimistic. Fortunately, I have out-of-town depos for the next two days which will keep my mind occupied (and me out of the office!)
4/23/09
Self-Analysis
When I took trial ad in law school we covered a mini-part of a trial in each class section (e.g. the opening statement or cross examination.) We would "perform" in front of our classmates, who would critique our performance, and then we would review a videotape of our own performance with one of the instructors so that we could see our problem areas for ourselves.
It was a sometimes embarrassing, but always valuable experience. I learned that my pitch rises and I speak too fast when I am nervous. My accent comes out when I am trying to be sympathetic. And I tend to make a face that implies that I don't believe what anyone is telling me--which isn't such a great thing when examining one's own client.
So it was with some trepidation that I popped in the CD from my first video-taped deposition today.
I went sooooo slowly. I bet the other attorneys were about ready to strangle me. Definitely need to work on that. I almost sounded like I was speaking to young children--which is a good way to PO the people I have to depose.
And I sound like I am 12 years old. Not sure what to do about that--other than to take up cigarette smoking in an attempt to acquire that sultry Kathleen Turner voice that I get when I have a bad cold. Actually, it seemed like my voice sounded a bit more mature once I became a little irritated with the deponent. So maybe I need to go into my depositions a little PO'd. I also sped up a bit. Apparently I talk too fast when I'm nervous or when I am irritated.
Otherwise, I did ok. I have read enough deposition transcripts to know that short and concise is much better than long and rambling, so I avoided that pitfall.
Hopefully no jury will have to sit through my painfully slow cross-examination--but at least I got the chance to see where I need to improve.
It was a sometimes embarrassing, but always valuable experience. I learned that my pitch rises and I speak too fast when I am nervous. My accent comes out when I am trying to be sympathetic. And I tend to make a face that implies that I don't believe what anyone is telling me--which isn't such a great thing when examining one's own client.
So it was with some trepidation that I popped in the CD from my first video-taped deposition today.
I went sooooo slowly. I bet the other attorneys were about ready to strangle me. Definitely need to work on that. I almost sounded like I was speaking to young children--which is a good way to PO the people I have to depose.
And I sound like I am 12 years old. Not sure what to do about that--other than to take up cigarette smoking in an attempt to acquire that sultry Kathleen Turner voice that I get when I have a bad cold. Actually, it seemed like my voice sounded a bit more mature once I became a little irritated with the deponent. So maybe I need to go into my depositions a little PO'd. I also sped up a bit. Apparently I talk too fast when I'm nervous or when I am irritated.
Otherwise, I did ok. I have read enough deposition transcripts to know that short and concise is much better than long and rambling, so I avoided that pitfall.
Hopefully no jury will have to sit through my painfully slow cross-examination--but at least I got the chance to see where I need to improve.
4/22/09
A change of fortune
I have a final interview scheduled for Monday morning. I heard back from the recruiter today and she said that the feedback she received was very positive. I don't have all of the information yet, but from what I have been told, this interview will be with several of the partners. I am still a little stunned that this seems to be going so well.
In other news, I just reserved a cabin for Mother's Day weekend. We haven't had any road trips in a while, and I thought we were due. I don't need any stuff and told DH that a trip with the fam would be the perfect gift. We are going to rent canoes and spend the day on the river. Hopefully no kids go overboard, as we have never tried something like this before. Best of all, the whole trip will cost about $300 plus gas.
In other news, I just reserved a cabin for Mother's Day weekend. We haven't had any road trips in a while, and I thought we were due. I don't need any stuff and told DH that a trip with the fam would be the perfect gift. We are going to rent canoes and spend the day on the river. Hopefully no kids go overboard, as we have never tried something like this before. Best of all, the whole trip will cost about $300 plus gas.
4/20/09
LC and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Did not sleep at all last night. Apparently my husband was replaced by Darth Vader in the middle of the night, and no amount of shoulder punches could make it stop. (But he may have some bruises this morning.)
Woke up half an hour early this morning so that I could go into the office early to review some files that I was unexpectedly unable to open from home this weekend. Saw on the news that the highway that makes up 98% of my commute was completely backed up, so decided to forego my early arrival so that traffic could clear.
Was halfway through flat-ironing my hair when my flat iron just stopped working for no apparent reason. So I got to go to work with half frizzy, half straight hair. Made a feeble attempt to pull it pack in such a way that it was not evident to the entire world that I had only straightened half my hair. Don't really think I succeeded.
News said that the earlier problem on the highway was gone. Dropped the girls off, and hopped on the highway only to find myself at a complete standstill. Apparently there were now 2 new problems. Should have just gone in early.
Sat in traffic for an hour before abandoning the highway for a side-street. Sat through a traffic light 5 times, with all of the other highway abandoners. Finally made it through the stoplight and was traveling at a whopping 46 miles an hour for all of 20 seconds.
Got pulled over. Speed limit was 30. Cop took off with my driver's license and when he returned, I tried to plead my case. He said he had already written the ticket and there was no going back.
So I got a speeding ticket with 2 days left on my deferred adjudication for my last ticket. Now I will have to pay both tickets in full. Well, unless I plead not guilty on this one. The cop did say that he wouldn't testify against me. (Ok, so you will get in trouble if you don't give me a ticket, but it's ok to agree not to testify? Sounds fishy to me.)
Finally made it to work 15 minutes late. (So much for my original plan for an early arrival.)
Found out that the court granted my motion to join two new international parties to a case, but denied my motion for continuance. Trial is the second week in June. So I have less than two months to effect service under the Hague Convention and bring the foreign parties in before trial. (Fingers crossed that I don't screw up service.)
Let out an enormous sneeze shortly before lunch. And peed on myself. Yes, carrying two babies at the same time has taken its toll on my bladder. But this has never happened at work before. Note to self: don't try to hold it until lunch every again.
The rest of my day was blessedly uneventful. Thank goodness Monday is almost over.
Woke up half an hour early this morning so that I could go into the office early to review some files that I was unexpectedly unable to open from home this weekend. Saw on the news that the highway that makes up 98% of my commute was completely backed up, so decided to forego my early arrival so that traffic could clear.
Was halfway through flat-ironing my hair when my flat iron just stopped working for no apparent reason. So I got to go to work with half frizzy, half straight hair. Made a feeble attempt to pull it pack in such a way that it was not evident to the entire world that I had only straightened half my hair. Don't really think I succeeded.
News said that the earlier problem on the highway was gone. Dropped the girls off, and hopped on the highway only to find myself at a complete standstill. Apparently there were now 2 new problems. Should have just gone in early.
Sat in traffic for an hour before abandoning the highway for a side-street. Sat through a traffic light 5 times, with all of the other highway abandoners. Finally made it through the stoplight and was traveling at a whopping 46 miles an hour for all of 20 seconds.
Got pulled over. Speed limit was 30. Cop took off with my driver's license and when he returned, I tried to plead my case. He said he had already written the ticket and there was no going back.
So I got a speeding ticket with 2 days left on my deferred adjudication for my last ticket. Now I will have to pay both tickets in full. Well, unless I plead not guilty on this one. The cop did say that he wouldn't testify against me. (Ok, so you will get in trouble if you don't give me a ticket, but it's ok to agree not to testify? Sounds fishy to me.)
Finally made it to work 15 minutes late. (So much for my original plan for an early arrival.)
Found out that the court granted my motion to join two new international parties to a case, but denied my motion for continuance. Trial is the second week in June. So I have less than two months to effect service under the Hague Convention and bring the foreign parties in before trial. (Fingers crossed that I don't screw up service.)
Let out an enormous sneeze shortly before lunch. And peed on myself. Yes, carrying two babies at the same time has taken its toll on my bladder. But this has never happened at work before. Note to self: don't try to hold it until lunch every again.
The rest of my day was blessedly uneventful. Thank goodness Monday is almost over.
4/19/09
Crickets Chirping or Are My Neuroses Showing?
The recruiter called me Friday morning to ask how the interview went. I was surprised that she had not heard from the firm. I haven't worked with a recruiter before, but DH has, and he says that they usually speak with the employer very soon after an interview--he has had second interviews scheduled within an hour of leaving a first interview.
I am mildly concerned, but before I left the interview, the office manager told me that she would compile the notes of all of the people with whom I met and send them to the powers that be. She also said that she would be out of the office on Friday and Monday. Since the interview wasn't over until 4:00 on Thursday, there is a good chance that she didn't have a chance to talk to anyone about my interview before she was gong to be out of the office for two days.
I interviewed with a total of 8 people, in pairs, except for the named partner and the office manager. In addition to the named partner, I met with two other partners and 4 associates. The named partner was a little hard to read. He asked if I was used a legal assistant. I told him that I did, most of my legal assistant's assignments come through me, and that we work closely together. Then he said that he didn't like for his junior associates to use legal assistants, because he wants them to know how to do things for themselves. Oops--but I think I did ok, because I confidently stated that there is nothing that my legal assistant does that I am not perfectly capable of and comfortable doing.
He also asked if I used a dictaphone--in a way that suggested that I might be expected to use a dictaphone. I responded that I had never used a dictaphone and that I preferred to do my own typing because I think as I go and type just as quickly as I could dictate to someone. This was, apparently, the correct response, because he went on to tell me that everyone there did their own typing.
Overall, I think that interview went well. The named partner and I are from the same part of the state, which offered some common ground.
In the interview with the next two partners I was asked when I graduated from undergrad. (10 years before graduating from law school.) Which begged the question, what was I doing during that 10 years. The female partner seemed quite impressed that I had gone through law school and was building my career with 3 children, and the male partner didn't seem phased by this information. I think that interview went well.
Two of the persons with whom I interviewed had worked with an associate that I now work with and were obviously aware of Big Boss's reputation. Hopefully this will help me by offering a legitimate basis for wanting to leave. Because I was asked by every different group of people why I was leaving.
Of course, I didn't want to say anything negative about my firm, so I followed the recruiter's instructions and stated that I was seeking more manageable hours. I explained that I was given a target of 170 when I was hired, but it has since been made clear that I am expected to bill 200+. I repeated over and over that I have absolutely no problem billing 170-180.
I hope that this is the correct course of action to take. I am afraid that complaining about work load makes me look like a slacker, but I tried to make really clear that I like what I do, I like working, I just don't want to work 200 hours/month. And they repeatedly stated that their 167 requirement is a true 167 and they have a set bonus structure for anyone who goes over.
There are, of course, about a jillion reasons why I want to leave, but I can't really give any of them without looking unprofessional or like a whiner. So I do hope that my firm's reputation is sufficient to add a little weight to my reason for leaving.
What I liked about the firm: They have gone paperless and everything is scanned in. (My firm does not scan incoming documents. If I want to see a pleading from another party, I have to go to the hard file.) They also give everyone two monitors so that they can view one doc while working in another--and they all raved about how much they like this system.
I was also impressed that even junior associates were involved in the hiring process--it shows me that they really care about making a good fit for the entire practice group. In my firm, I never know we are getting a new associate until the day they show up for work.
There was nothing that I didn't like about the firm--well, except for the televisions in the lobby. It seemed very unlawyerish--but I think they are trying to project a high-tech image.
Anyway, the office manager said that if they were interested, a second interview with several more partners would likely be required. And she couldn't give me a time frame on when they would try to make a decision--which leads me to believe they may be on the fence and want to interview a few more candidates. Not a good sign for me--I have never been hired when I am competing with a pool of candidates--all of my law-related hirings have been "on the spot."
But I'll try to keep my insecurity in check--at least until late in the week.
I am mildly concerned, but before I left the interview, the office manager told me that she would compile the notes of all of the people with whom I met and send them to the powers that be. She also said that she would be out of the office on Friday and Monday. Since the interview wasn't over until 4:00 on Thursday, there is a good chance that she didn't have a chance to talk to anyone about my interview before she was gong to be out of the office for two days.
I interviewed with a total of 8 people, in pairs, except for the named partner and the office manager. In addition to the named partner, I met with two other partners and 4 associates. The named partner was a little hard to read. He asked if I was used a legal assistant. I told him that I did, most of my legal assistant's assignments come through me, and that we work closely together. Then he said that he didn't like for his junior associates to use legal assistants, because he wants them to know how to do things for themselves. Oops--but I think I did ok, because I confidently stated that there is nothing that my legal assistant does that I am not perfectly capable of and comfortable doing.
He also asked if I used a dictaphone--in a way that suggested that I might be expected to use a dictaphone. I responded that I had never used a dictaphone and that I preferred to do my own typing because I think as I go and type just as quickly as I could dictate to someone. This was, apparently, the correct response, because he went on to tell me that everyone there did their own typing.
Overall, I think that interview went well. The named partner and I are from the same part of the state, which offered some common ground.
In the interview with the next two partners I was asked when I graduated from undergrad. (10 years before graduating from law school.) Which begged the question, what was I doing during that 10 years. The female partner seemed quite impressed that I had gone through law school and was building my career with 3 children, and the male partner didn't seem phased by this information. I think that interview went well.
Two of the persons with whom I interviewed had worked with an associate that I now work with and were obviously aware of Big Boss's reputation. Hopefully this will help me by offering a legitimate basis for wanting to leave. Because I was asked by every different group of people why I was leaving.
Of course, I didn't want to say anything negative about my firm, so I followed the recruiter's instructions and stated that I was seeking more manageable hours. I explained that I was given a target of 170 when I was hired, but it has since been made clear that I am expected to bill 200+. I repeated over and over that I have absolutely no problem billing 170-180.
I hope that this is the correct course of action to take. I am afraid that complaining about work load makes me look like a slacker, but I tried to make really clear that I like what I do, I like working, I just don't want to work 200 hours/month. And they repeatedly stated that their 167 requirement is a true 167 and they have a set bonus structure for anyone who goes over.
There are, of course, about a jillion reasons why I want to leave, but I can't really give any of them without looking unprofessional or like a whiner. So I do hope that my firm's reputation is sufficient to add a little weight to my reason for leaving.
What I liked about the firm: They have gone paperless and everything is scanned in. (My firm does not scan incoming documents. If I want to see a pleading from another party, I have to go to the hard file.) They also give everyone two monitors so that they can view one doc while working in another--and they all raved about how much they like this system.
I was also impressed that even junior associates were involved in the hiring process--it shows me that they really care about making a good fit for the entire practice group. In my firm, I never know we are getting a new associate until the day they show up for work.
There was nothing that I didn't like about the firm--well, except for the televisions in the lobby. It seemed very unlawyerish--but I think they are trying to project a high-tech image.
Anyway, the office manager said that if they were interested, a second interview with several more partners would likely be required. And she couldn't give me a time frame on when they would try to make a decision--which leads me to believe they may be on the fence and want to interview a few more candidates. Not a good sign for me--I have never been hired when I am competing with a pool of candidates--all of my law-related hirings have been "on the spot."
But I'll try to keep my insecurity in check--at least until late in the week.
Deposition Gold
Friday I took depositions of a corporate rep. and employee in a case that should be straightforward, but is turning into a circus. About 2 minutes in, while working through my standard introductory questions I hit the jackpot. The question: "What did you do to prepare for your deposition today?" The answer, "I just looked through my notes." He just happened to have his entire file with him--which had never been produced. So the deposition was shut down for 30 minutes or so while we went through the file, which included numerous internal emails that were quite beneficial to us.
I've taken 15 or so depositions and this is the first time I have had such a stroke of luck. The depo ended up taking 3 times longer than it would have otherwise, and I gathered some great information.
The second deposition did not go quite as well. The employee was tense and I really had to dig to get answers. We got off on the wrong foot when I asked the standard, "have you ever been arrested or convicted?" He instantly disliked me for delving into his personal information. I think I better move that question to the end of my question list in the future.
I've taken 15 or so depositions and this is the first time I have had such a stroke of luck. The depo ended up taking 3 times longer than it would have otherwise, and I gathered some great information.
The second deposition did not go quite as well. The employee was tense and I really had to dig to get answers. We got off on the wrong foot when I asked the standard, "have you ever been arrested or convicted?" He instantly disliked me for delving into his personal information. I think I better move that question to the end of my question list in the future.
Reminder -Secretary's Day is this week
I didn't hear about it until about 3:00 the day before last year, so I thought I'd pass it along. I'm sending my secretary orchids. Last year I did a fruit bouquet, which she seemed to like.
4/16/09
Exhausted
Hit the ground running, as usual, this morning. My interview was this afternoon, and I had a number of things that I had to get done beforehand.
The interview was with 7 different attorneys plus the office manager and lasted 3 hours. I think it went well, but I am a terrible judge. But I managed not to say anything inappropriate--as I am prone to do in interviews.
The firm I interviewed with seems to be the polar opposite of my current firm. Developing relationships with your coworkers is encouraged (fraternization is largely discouraged at current firm--in fact I have been specifically instructed not to speak to certain attorneys.) They say that their billing target is accurate and few go over, although there is a bonus structure in place for those who exceed their target hours. They have a well defined partnership track and marketing people to help young associates develop their rainmaking skills. And it looks like I could eventually spread out from the particularized practice group that I would be going into. Everyone I interviewed with was very nice, and I was impressed that they involved even junior associates in the hiring process.
But having to be in "go" mode for 3 hours is exhausting, and I was worn out before I even made it back to the office to complete my day.
I had a couple of projects to finish and then I needed to prep for 2 depos tomorrow once I got back to the office. But, of course, little things kept popping up. And Partner called at 5:55 to tell me that we MUST send discovery out first thing in the morning. It wouldn't take more than an hour, but it was 6 and I still hadn't started prepping for my depos tomorrow.
Then Partner asked why I wasn't attending a certain event tonight. My response: "Yeah, like I have time for that!." I'm pretty sure I pissed him off. I think it came out snarkier than I intended. Or maybe is was subconscious snark.
I gathered what I needed to prepare for my depos, and finally left the office at 7:30, home by 8:00.
Had dinner and spent about 5 minutes with my kids and then had to start sending out thank you emails to the 8 people with whom I met today. It is tough to come up with 8 unique "thanks for meeting with me" emails.
It's now after 9:30--still haven't prepped for my depos tomorrow. Arrgghhhh!
I am getting really, really tired of working all the time. I am trying to set boundaries, but I can't pull back and meet my deadlines and obligations to my clients. I really hope this interview went well.
The interview was with 7 different attorneys plus the office manager and lasted 3 hours. I think it went well, but I am a terrible judge. But I managed not to say anything inappropriate--as I am prone to do in interviews.
The firm I interviewed with seems to be the polar opposite of my current firm. Developing relationships with your coworkers is encouraged (fraternization is largely discouraged at current firm--in fact I have been specifically instructed not to speak to certain attorneys.) They say that their billing target is accurate and few go over, although there is a bonus structure in place for those who exceed their target hours. They have a well defined partnership track and marketing people to help young associates develop their rainmaking skills. And it looks like I could eventually spread out from the particularized practice group that I would be going into. Everyone I interviewed with was very nice, and I was impressed that they involved even junior associates in the hiring process.
But having to be in "go" mode for 3 hours is exhausting, and I was worn out before I even made it back to the office to complete my day.
I had a couple of projects to finish and then I needed to prep for 2 depos tomorrow once I got back to the office. But, of course, little things kept popping up. And Partner called at 5:55 to tell me that we MUST send discovery out first thing in the morning. It wouldn't take more than an hour, but it was 6 and I still hadn't started prepping for my depos tomorrow.
Then Partner asked why I wasn't attending a certain event tonight. My response: "Yeah, like I have time for that!." I'm pretty sure I pissed him off. I think it came out snarkier than I intended. Or maybe is was subconscious snark.
I gathered what I needed to prepare for my depos, and finally left the office at 7:30, home by 8:00.
Had dinner and spent about 5 minutes with my kids and then had to start sending out thank you emails to the 8 people with whom I met today. It is tough to come up with 8 unique "thanks for meeting with me" emails.
It's now after 9:30--still haven't prepped for my depos tomorrow. Arrgghhhh!
I am getting really, really tired of working all the time. I am trying to set boundaries, but I can't pull back and meet my deadlines and obligations to my clients. I really hope this interview went well.
4/9/09
Strange day
I emailed in that I had an appointment and would be late coming into the office. I left the "appointment" part vague and ambiguous, as I always do, which enables it to cover a host of personal issues.
My plan was to drive to my office, park at the top of my parking garage where I would get decent cell phone reception, and take the call there so that I could immediately go to work afterward.
Thank god it was a phone interview. 10 minutes before the interview was scheduled, I started having hot flashes, clamminess and cramping. No, it wasn't nerves--I think it was a stomach bug or food issue. Anyway, I made it through the interview, but turned around and went right back home because I was not fit to be in the company of other human beings.
Who knows what my bosses though, first with the mystery appointment, then calling in sick altogether. Fortunately, it seems to have passed quickly and I was feeling much better by late afternoon.
Anyway, the interview went very well. I already have an in-person interview scheduled for next week. I'm kind of shocked, considering how poorly my interviews usually go. I liked what I heard and think the change would be positive. My only reservation is that I would be focusing on a single practice area, whereas now I get a pretty decent variety of cases. If I had to name my favorite practice areas, this probably wouldn't make the top 5 list--but I have had a couple of cases of this genre and I don't dislike this area of law.
My plan was to drive to my office, park at the top of my parking garage where I would get decent cell phone reception, and take the call there so that I could immediately go to work afterward.
Thank god it was a phone interview. 10 minutes before the interview was scheduled, I started having hot flashes, clamminess and cramping. No, it wasn't nerves--I think it was a stomach bug or food issue. Anyway, I made it through the interview, but turned around and went right back home because I was not fit to be in the company of other human beings.
Who knows what my bosses though, first with the mystery appointment, then calling in sick altogether. Fortunately, it seems to have passed quickly and I was feeling much better by late afternoon.
Anyway, the interview went very well. I already have an in-person interview scheduled for next week. I'm kind of shocked, considering how poorly my interviews usually go. I liked what I heard and think the change would be positive. My only reservation is that I would be focusing on a single practice area, whereas now I get a pretty decent variety of cases. If I had to name my favorite practice areas, this probably wouldn't make the top 5 list--but I have had a couple of cases of this genre and I don't dislike this area of law.
4/8/09
The Guilt
So I have a phone interview scheduled tomorrow at 10:00. Which is a pretty inconvenient time as far as not interrupting my work day goes. I'm not quite sure how to handle it. I can 1) go to work and then disappear for an hour to do the interview; or 2) just go into work and say I had an appointment.
I am pretty sure somebody will notice if I try to disappear for an hour--Big Boss's secretary sits right outside my door--so he spends a good deal of time right outside my door (which is why I can't just take the call in my office in the first place.)
But I just feel so dishonest saying that I have an appointment--like they'll know what's going on. Not to mention that I will have to create another mystery appointment if they actually like me and want to do a real interview. And I'm pretty sure Big Boss would fire me on the spot if he caught a whiff that I was looking elsewhere.
And then there is the guilt. Despite my unhappiness, I feel this incredible pressing guilt just for looking at other jobs--and the thought of actually leaving makes it worse. Maybe its narcissistic, but I feel like I have the most knowledge of several of my cases and I think it will be tough to get someone else up to speed. And I feel so guilty at the though of leaving my firm in a bind--because I know that we are so incredibly busy right now. And I am sort of attached to certain cases--although there are a few that I will happily leave behind.
But something has got to give. I billed 225 hours last month and I am already on track for a repeat performance. That is too damn much. And I don't sleep anymore. I wake 50 times a night worried about my cases, or something I missed, or one of the 5000 things I still need to do, or whether I made a mistake that is going to get me fired (not that I screw up that often, but a number of firings (not layoffs) at my firm have unnerved me ).
Anyway, I'll do the interview and we'll just have to see what happens from there.
I am pretty sure somebody will notice if I try to disappear for an hour--Big Boss's secretary sits right outside my door--so he spends a good deal of time right outside my door (which is why I can't just take the call in my office in the first place.)
But I just feel so dishonest saying that I have an appointment--like they'll know what's going on. Not to mention that I will have to create another mystery appointment if they actually like me and want to do a real interview. And I'm pretty sure Big Boss would fire me on the spot if he caught a whiff that I was looking elsewhere.
And then there is the guilt. Despite my unhappiness, I feel this incredible pressing guilt just for looking at other jobs--and the thought of actually leaving makes it worse. Maybe its narcissistic, but I feel like I have the most knowledge of several of my cases and I think it will be tough to get someone else up to speed. And I feel so guilty at the though of leaving my firm in a bind--because I know that we are so incredibly busy right now. And I am sort of attached to certain cases--although there are a few that I will happily leave behind.
But something has got to give. I billed 225 hours last month and I am already on track for a repeat performance. That is too damn much. And I don't sleep anymore. I wake 50 times a night worried about my cases, or something I missed, or one of the 5000 things I still need to do, or whether I made a mistake that is going to get me fired (not that I screw up that often, but a number of firings (not layoffs) at my firm have unnerved me ).
Anyway, I'll do the interview and we'll just have to see what happens from there.
4/6/09
Big Brother is Watching
So today the IT dude cornered me in my office and said, "Did you tell [paralegal] that it was ok to go on Facebook."
"Um, well, I told him to do a Google search on a couple of people that I am trying to find, and I mentioned that they might pop up on MySpace or Facebook."
"Well, we aren't supposed to use Facebook."
"Well it's not like he was just surfing. We are trying to locate witnesses and I told him to do it. Sometimes you end up on Facebook or MySpace. I was just Googling the guy I deposed this morning, and my search took me to Facebook."
"Well, not everybody uses Facebook for searches--they are clicking on links and watching videos. And we sent out an email about not going on Facebook."
"This was not the case with [paralegal]. I told him to do the search, and I will defend him to the powers that be if necessary. By the way--how do you know he was on Facebook--are you monitoring our internet activity?"
"Yes--we see what sites you visit and how long you are there."
Nice. This doesn't surprise me, but it does piss me off. I don't even do anything that should worry me on my work computer--and it still feels like an invasion of privacy. And I know they have every right to do what what they want, but it just feels icky.
"Um, well, I told him to do a Google search on a couple of people that I am trying to find, and I mentioned that they might pop up on MySpace or Facebook."
"Well, we aren't supposed to use Facebook."
"Well it's not like he was just surfing. We are trying to locate witnesses and I told him to do it. Sometimes you end up on Facebook or MySpace. I was just Googling the guy I deposed this morning, and my search took me to Facebook."
"Well, not everybody uses Facebook for searches--they are clicking on links and watching videos. And we sent out an email about not going on Facebook."
"This was not the case with [paralegal]. I told him to do the search, and I will defend him to the powers that be if necessary. By the way--how do you know he was on Facebook--are you monitoring our internet activity?"
"Yes--we see what sites you visit and how long you are there."
Nice. This doesn't surprise me, but it does piss me off. I don't even do anything that should worry me on my work computer--and it still feels like an invasion of privacy. And I know they have every right to do what what they want, but it just feels icky.
4/4/09
Life is grand . . . really
I stayed home from work yesterday because TT woke up with a sore throat and fever. The doc confirmed my suspicion that it was strep. She has consistently had a temperature above 102, despite the constant rotation of Tylenol and Motrin.
TT woke up vomiting at 2:00 a.m. And her temperature had spiked to 104.8. So we medicated her again and gave her a warm bath to more quickly reduce her temperature. (My kids always have really high temperatures when they are sick, so I did not freak out too much.) I kicked DH to the couch and moved TT to my bed so that I could keep an eye on her. And of course got no sleep--that kid snores like a freight train.
Then, today DH took the Behemoth in for an inspection ($39). And left $700 later. We'd considered trading it in a month or so ago because it is getting up in years and mileage, but decided that since it was running well and I really like it, we would just hang on to it. Now I remember why we were thinking of getting a new car.
So, work sucks + 12K to the IRS + sick kid + $700 in car repairs = this week has been freakin' fantastic.
TT woke up vomiting at 2:00 a.m. And her temperature had spiked to 104.8. So we medicated her again and gave her a warm bath to more quickly reduce her temperature. (My kids always have really high temperatures when they are sick, so I did not freak out too much.) I kicked DH to the couch and moved TT to my bed so that I could keep an eye on her. And of course got no sleep--that kid snores like a freight train.
Then, today DH took the Behemoth in for an inspection ($39). And left $700 later. We'd considered trading it in a month or so ago because it is getting up in years and mileage, but decided that since it was running well and I really like it, we would just hang on to it. Now I remember why we were thinking of getting a new car.
So, work sucks + 12K to the IRS + sick kid + $700 in car repairs = this week has been freakin' fantastic.
4/3/09
Holey Moley
I finally got around to doing our taxes last night. I've always done our taxes--even when DH was doing a lot of contract work and we were taking a home office deduction. And we have only owed taxes once--even though each year we increased our withholdings to avoid a refund.
I knew going in that this year would be different. For starters, our income doubled--so I was pretty sure that we were going to jump into a new tax bracket. And I was contract for the first 2.5 months of the year-so I knew we would owe for that plus the amounts DH earned for contract work (he usually builds a couple of websites a year for small businesses.)
But I was not prepared to owe $12K.
Apparently our new income means losing the child tax credit, and any deduction for student loan interest (which is capped at $2500 anyway, I paid more than 4x that!) That is what is killing me--the only reason that I have a high income is because I have student loans out the wazoo!
And our mortgage interest and deductions for taxes barely made a dent in the amount owed. Apparently the government wants me to quit paying on my student loans and buy a much larger house if I want to reduce my taxes.
Anyway, I hope that I have screwed something up. For the first time ever, I am paying someone to do my taxes. I hope that they can at least find enough additional deductions to pay for themselves! And that they can tell me what I need to do next year to avoid a repeat scenario.
I knew going in that this year would be different. For starters, our income doubled--so I was pretty sure that we were going to jump into a new tax bracket. And I was contract for the first 2.5 months of the year-so I knew we would owe for that plus the amounts DH earned for contract work (he usually builds a couple of websites a year for small businesses.)
But I was not prepared to owe $12K.
Apparently our new income means losing the child tax credit, and any deduction for student loan interest (which is capped at $2500 anyway, I paid more than 4x that!) That is what is killing me--the only reason that I have a high income is because I have student loans out the wazoo!
And our mortgage interest and deductions for taxes barely made a dent in the amount owed. Apparently the government wants me to quit paying on my student loans and buy a much larger house if I want to reduce my taxes.
Anyway, I hope that I have screwed something up. For the first time ever, I am paying someone to do my taxes. I hope that they can at least find enough additional deductions to pay for themselves! And that they can tell me what I need to do next year to avoid a repeat scenario.
3/31/09
Throwing my hat in the ring again
I met with a recruited today. She has a specific position in mind for me, and I think our meeting went well, but we'll see. I am really trying not to get my hopes up, which you will understand if you were around back when I was job-hunting the last time around.
The job is pretty much what I do now, although a bit more particularized. But their hourly requirement is 160--and supposedly it's a true 160 and not the 170-but-we-really-want-to-see-200 that I am dealing with right now. Anything above = extra bonus. It is about a 5% pay increase--so not much, but worth moving for when combined with a better working environment and more reasonable billing requirements. And my googling tells me that the better working environment is not just recruiter-hype--this place has been named on a couple of "best places to work lists."
Anyway, like I said, we'll see. I am notoriously bad at interviews and after the horrible, terrible, awful, no good job-hunting experience that I had coming out of law school, I don't really have any expectation that the first apple I bite will be the magic one.
The job is pretty much what I do now, although a bit more particularized. But their hourly requirement is 160--and supposedly it's a true 160 and not the 170-but-we-really-want-to-see-200 that I am dealing with right now. Anything above = extra bonus. It is about a 5% pay increase--so not much, but worth moving for when combined with a better working environment and more reasonable billing requirements. And my googling tells me that the better working environment is not just recruiter-hype--this place has been named on a couple of "best places to work lists."
Anyway, like I said, we'll see. I am notoriously bad at interviews and after the horrible, terrible, awful, no good job-hunting experience that I had coming out of law school, I don't really have any expectation that the first apple I bite will be the magic one.
3/29/09
Today is better
I spent most of yesterday in a funk--partially out of exhaustion and mostly because of my job situation. But I fiddled with my resume and contacted a couple of recruiters who had contacted me in the past unsolicited.
One of them emailed back this morning and said that she had several positions that might work for me. Just the slightest hint of an opportunity filled me with hope and made my day better. I don't think I realized how much my job was beating me down until it all came to a head this week.
She asked for a contact number and I sent it, along with instructions regarding the best time to call me. Because Big Boss hovers outside my door anytime I am on the phone or someone is in my office. Last week he came in and started giving me instructions while I was on the phone with one of our corporate clients! (He has also instructed me not to have conversations with particular associates and staff members--I wasn't kidding about the jealous boyfriend thing.)
One of them emailed back this morning and said that she had several positions that might work for me. Just the slightest hint of an opportunity filled me with hope and made my day better. I don't think I realized how much my job was beating me down until it all came to a head this week.
She asked for a contact number and I sent it, along with instructions regarding the best time to call me. Because Big Boss hovers outside my door anytime I am on the phone or someone is in my office. Last week he came in and started giving me instructions while I was on the phone with one of our corporate clients! (He has also instructed me not to have conversations with particular associates and staff members--I wasn't kidding about the jealous boyfriend thing.)
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