This is how great my day was

So, with being a working mom and all, some of the household chores keep getting put off---like laundry. So this morning I have two choices for underwear. The pair that's too big and falls down all day, or the see-through ones. Since DH and I have been fighting lately and I didn't want to give him the impression that I was ready to make up, I opted for the too-big ones.

It's finally getting cold here, so today I decided to wear a skirt-suit with my tall boots and tights. I figured the tights would help keep the too-big underwear in place. (No I am not one to go commando w/ tights. I once knew someone who took the term "pantyhose" literally and didn't put anything underneath, but that's just wierd.)

So I get to work and as I am walking through the parking garage I realize that both the too-big undies and the tights are falling down. Apparently the elastic is gone in the tights, but I didn't realize it before I left the house. (No, I don't know how I didn't figure this out before.) I have to get to the elevator in the parking garage, down the elevator, through the tunnel under my building, up an escalator, across the first floor, up another elevator, and across another floor to my office. Somewhere in the tunnel I can tell that my butt cheeks are touching the lining of my skirt and I am beginning to freak out as I ponder the possibility that I could lose both my undies and tights in the middle of all these business people. I am praying that if I can make it to the elevator I can make an adjustment, because at least half the time I have the elevator to myself.

No such luck. There is a guy in the elevator with me and he's going to a higher floor than me. So I try to be inconspicuous as I do a knees-together waddle to my office. Blessedly hardly anyone is in yet, and I can finally pull up the undergarments that are now halfway to my knees.

Then I head to the restroom to determine what to do about this situation. I manage to pull up enough tight fabric to tie a knot, which miraculously actually worked. Except now I have this knot poking out making a lump under my skirt. It looks like I have a tumor. But at least I didn't drop my drawers in the middle of Big Shiny Building.