The Interview from Hell

So I drove in for my interview with NMBC DA's office. They failed to warn me ahead of time that 1) it was a group interview and 2) that it was really more of an audition than in interview.

I walked in and was seated at the foot of a T with 8 lawyers seated at the top, and two more along the sides. Then I was told to pretend that they were my jury on a DUI and I had three questions--go! I actually think I did ok with that part. They let me go on for quite a while and I got way more than 3 questions in. Surely they would have shut me down sooner if I were doing a really terrible job--right?

Next, they gave me a hypo: If I were an ADA doing intake and an officer called from the field, whom should I tell him to charge in this situation--He pulls a car over for speeding. Sees a bag in the backseat with a baggie sticking out (A-ha, I think, there is a search issue here). No problems with the search, because that makes it too easy (Dangit.) Driver says it is the passenger's, passenger says it is the driver's.

I said, charge both. Oh no, they say, you can only charge one. But I would charge both--you can charge both with possession. Oh, but you have to pick one, they say. Well, the driver is in control of the car and should know what is in it. OK, they say--the driver borrowed his sister's car. Well (since that can of worms has already been opened) continue searching the bag for further identifying info. Ok, they say, nothing revealing, in fact it has women's gym clothes in it. Separate and interrogate, I say. They say, but they won't change their story. Charge both, I say, and the truth will eventually come out.

And then one of the group of ten lays into me, as if she is crossing me (I think that she does not like me for some reason, but I don't think I have done anything offensive). Don't you think it is wrong to charge someone if you don't know they did it, she says? (Umm, not really--people get charged all the time, you drop the charges if there is insufficient evidence to go forward.) What if they didn't even know it was there, she says? I say, well, if it was in plain sight for the officer to have a legal search, the people in the car should have seen it. Would you know coke if you saw it, she says? I do not know how to repond to this and simply stare at her dumbfounded. (I don't believe I have ever seen coke up close and personally, but I'm pretty darn sure I would recognize it if I did.) Finally, I am rescued and that line of questioning is brought to a close.

Oh, but then there is the big finale. "Give us a 1-2 minute closing argument about why we should hire you." Seriously?? But I did it--I don't even really remember what I said, but I am sure that it was laced with plenty of cheese about how awesome I am. At least a few looked semi-impressed when I was done.

I was told it would be at least a month before I hear anything from them. Honestly, I don't even give a flying flip whether I get this job or not. I don't really want to move to that city and their whole hiring process--since my first interview nearly 9 months ago--has been completely ridiculous. If the rest of their organization is run that way, it doesn't paint it in a very favorable light.

P.S. I emailed a friend who is an ADA and she told me she would have charged them both--ha!