So I have a case that can only be compared to a Hydra. Because by "a case" I mean 5 lawsuits and a couple of arbitrations all involving mostly the same parties and facts, but they can't really be consolidated. And opposing counsel for a couple of these parties have been exceptionally difficult to deal with, making this matter increasingly contentious.
I filed a motion in one of the cases, which if I won, would cut off a bunch of those hydra heads without regrowth. It wasn't dispositive, but it would be a huge help with managing the monster. Opposing counsel filed a counter-motion asking for sanctions, basically calling me a liar. Never mind that I had made the same representation to three different courts and would be putting my bar license on the line if my representations were untrue. But OC's best defense was to call me liar. So that made this motion more than a little personal.
Unfortunately, no one in my office had any confidence that I would win. They had never seen anyone even try to make the argument that I was making. But I had good, binding authority that, while not precisely on point, was pretty darn close. And OC left all of her legal arguments on the table--she could have mounted a decent legal defense, but she decided to stick with "LC's a liar." I simply attached an affidavit to my reply. If I were lying, I was also committing perjury.
Apparently the judge didn't think I was dumb enough to lie to three courts and commit perjury. OC's motion for sanctions was denied and my motion was granted. It was a great victory.
The next day DH sent warm, freshly baked cookies to my office to celebrate. Because he's awesome like that. And in my world, cookies are way better than flowers.
2/22/14
2/15/14
Life
Life is rolling along here in the LC household. Robotics season is in full swing. DH is a mentor this year, so he is up at school as much as PS (actually more, because we've forced her to cut back and focus more on school). That means a lot of evenings with just me and the twin girlies.
Last night DH and PS were at school until after 10. I had to have my eyes dilated, so the twins and I just ordered in and hung out watching Sherlock. They had been wanting to start the series, but I thought that I should at least watch the first episode with them to make sure it was ok, after my big parenting fail of not checking out Torchwood before they were already through the first season and a couple of people asked us "um, are you sure your twelve-year olds should be watching that?" No, the answer is no, Torchwood is not appropriate for 12-year olds. But they did self-monitor and skip over the orgasm monster episode. Anyway, we all loved Sherlock and watched the first two episodes last night! (I was skeptical because I watched one episode of Elementary and it was awful.)
Anyway, I have been wearing contacts for 25 years and therefore have had annual eye exams for the last 25 years and have never had my eyes dilated until this year, when I mentioned that I have been having a lot of floaters. So, the eye doc dilated my eyes and poked around, and found a minor weird thing in one eye, and told me to come back in a month. In the meantime, the floaters got worse. They are almost constant. It's kind of annoying. Yesterday she dilated them again and took another look around. Nothing new, but she thought the floaters shouldn't be getting worse, so she's sending me to a retina specialist for more extensive testing. Fun! A hole in your retina is a great thing to contemplate when 75% of your job involves reading.
DH and PS are again spending a good part of the day at robotics, but I have demanded his presence for some V-day alone time tonight. We usually don't celebrate Valentine's day. It goes back to all those years of financial struggling, and we had Christmas and our anniversary in December, and my birthday in January and by February we were just broke and all gifted out. But DH and I have been in a bit of a rut lately. And I totally blew his birthday way back in July (I was insanely busy at work, and my brother's wedding was on his birthday, and he had to drive the girls to Hometown while I flew in later that day because I had to take a deposition and it was an all-around sucky day for him and I never really made up for it.) So, I planned a super-fun day for today, but I haven't yet revealed the details to him, so I'll have to update later. I am super-excited--it's like a little mini staycation, and we need the alone time, but I'm having to drag him away from robotics (their deadline is next week, so it is a key weekend), and it's cutting into our day a bit. Oh well, they can have him back tomorrow!
Last night DH and PS were at school until after 10. I had to have my eyes dilated, so the twins and I just ordered in and hung out watching Sherlock. They had been wanting to start the series, but I thought that I should at least watch the first episode with them to make sure it was ok, after my big parenting fail of not checking out Torchwood before they were already through the first season and a couple of people asked us "um, are you sure your twelve-year olds should be watching that?" No, the answer is no, Torchwood is not appropriate for 12-year olds. But they did self-monitor and skip over the orgasm monster episode. Anyway, we all loved Sherlock and watched the first two episodes last night! (I was skeptical because I watched one episode of Elementary and it was awful.)
Anyway, I have been wearing contacts for 25 years and therefore have had annual eye exams for the last 25 years and have never had my eyes dilated until this year, when I mentioned that I have been having a lot of floaters. So, the eye doc dilated my eyes and poked around, and found a minor weird thing in one eye, and told me to come back in a month. In the meantime, the floaters got worse. They are almost constant. It's kind of annoying. Yesterday she dilated them again and took another look around. Nothing new, but she thought the floaters shouldn't be getting worse, so she's sending me to a retina specialist for more extensive testing. Fun! A hole in your retina is a great thing to contemplate when 75% of your job involves reading.
DH and PS are again spending a good part of the day at robotics, but I have demanded his presence for some V-day alone time tonight. We usually don't celebrate Valentine's day. It goes back to all those years of financial struggling, and we had Christmas and our anniversary in December, and my birthday in January and by February we were just broke and all gifted out. But DH and I have been in a bit of a rut lately. And I totally blew his birthday way back in July (I was insanely busy at work, and my brother's wedding was on his birthday, and he had to drive the girls to Hometown while I flew in later that day because I had to take a deposition and it was an all-around sucky day for him and I never really made up for it.) So, I planned a super-fun day for today, but I haven't yet revealed the details to him, so I'll have to update later. I am super-excited--it's like a little mini staycation, and we need the alone time, but I'm having to drag him away from robotics (their deadline is next week, so it is a key weekend), and it's cutting into our day a bit. Oh well, they can have him back tomorrow!
2/8/14
Olympic Memories
Watching the opening ceremonies I was reminded of the moments of my life that were happening during the Olympics, and how much life happened during those four-year intervals.
In 1994 I was a college freshman living in a dorm. Only a couple of girls on my floor had televisions, so every night several of us would pile into a friend's tiny room to watch figure skating. That was the year of Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan, so there was lots of drama. It was such a fun way to watch the games.
By 1998 I had married and graduated college and was pregnant with PS (wow, a lot happened during those 4 years). I had severe hyperemesis and was bedridden on IV fluids. We had no cable and pretty much the only thing to watch on television during that time was the Olympics. I don't have such great memories of those games.
I have little memory of the next couple of games--probably because I was busy with little kids and going to school. In 2002 the twins were infants. Their whole first year is an exhaustion induced blur. A short four years later in 2006 I was in my 2L year--I definitely wasn't watching much television then.
And then, the 2010 Olympics. Those happened while MIL was dying. We watched an awful lot of the games while sitting in hospice. Those several weeks were among the worst we have ever endured (topped only possibly by my horrific pregnancy with the twins), but I also remember it as a time of the entire family coming together and receiving so much generosity from friends, family and even near strangers.
It seems hard to believe that another four years has passed. It is harder to believe that MIL has been gone for almost four years now. We still haven't gotten over the unfairness of it. And after all our togetherness while at hospice, the family was torn apart just a few months later by FIL's hasty remarriage and those tears still haven't been repaired.
I'm left wondering what will happen over the next four years. PS will graduate high school and be in college. TT and SS will be juniors in high school. Where will our careers take us? How will our family change? How many more family members will we lose?
In 1994 I was a college freshman living in a dorm. Only a couple of girls on my floor had televisions, so every night several of us would pile into a friend's tiny room to watch figure skating. That was the year of Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan, so there was lots of drama. It was such a fun way to watch the games.
By 1998 I had married and graduated college and was pregnant with PS (wow, a lot happened during those 4 years). I had severe hyperemesis and was bedridden on IV fluids. We had no cable and pretty much the only thing to watch on television during that time was the Olympics. I don't have such great memories of those games.
I have little memory of the next couple of games--probably because I was busy with little kids and going to school. In 2002 the twins were infants. Their whole first year is an exhaustion induced blur. A short four years later in 2006 I was in my 2L year--I definitely wasn't watching much television then.
And then, the 2010 Olympics. Those happened while MIL was dying. We watched an awful lot of the games while sitting in hospice. Those several weeks were among the worst we have ever endured (topped only possibly by my horrific pregnancy with the twins), but I also remember it as a time of the entire family coming together and receiving so much generosity from friends, family and even near strangers.
It seems hard to believe that another four years has passed. It is harder to believe that MIL has been gone for almost four years now. We still haven't gotten over the unfairness of it. And after all our togetherness while at hospice, the family was torn apart just a few months later by FIL's hasty remarriage and those tears still haven't been repaired.
I'm left wondering what will happen over the next four years. PS will graduate high school and be in college. TT and SS will be juniors in high school. Where will our careers take us? How will our family change? How many more family members will we lose?
1/5/14
Goodbye, Holiday Break
After a frenzied fall, the holiday break has been a nice reprieve. It was insane leading up to the break, with holiday parties and school concerts and semester exams and lots of work deadlines to meet. But everything pretty much dropped off on December 20th. No yelling at the kids about homework. All my cases are on simmer instead of roiling boil.
And the mornings are so relaxed. I can sleep until the sun comes up, leisurely prepare for the day and then head to the office with virtually no traffic. When the kids are in school, I spend at least 1.5 hours in the car in the morning. Over the holidays, my commute, sans the 20 mile look to drop kids, is 30 minutes.
I'm not looking forward to getting back to the grind next week. PS is at the robotics kickoff event right now, which means that the robotics season is officially in full swing and will stay that way until April. On top of all of the craziness we have with all of the other kids' activities.
All of this just makes me ready for summer.
And the mornings are so relaxed. I can sleep until the sun comes up, leisurely prepare for the day and then head to the office with virtually no traffic. When the kids are in school, I spend at least 1.5 hours in the car in the morning. Over the holidays, my commute, sans the 20 mile look to drop kids, is 30 minutes.
I'm not looking forward to getting back to the grind next week. PS is at the robotics kickoff event right now, which means that the robotics season is officially in full swing and will stay that way until April. On top of all of the craziness we have with all of the other kids' activities.
All of this just makes me ready for summer.
1/4/14
Accomplishments and Plans
2013 Accomplishments
I don’t feel like I did much last year. It felt like a treading-water kind of year. Mostly staying in place, not moving forward or backward. But surely something happened.
1. I tried something new. That would be fencing with my girls. I am quite unathletic and not generally inclined to do something that I am not naturally good at, so this was a big step for me. But I liked it, and it helped me get in better shape! ( I have a bit of a booty now! I have had a flat ass my entire life, but fencing footwork involves a perpetual squat position that is apparently building up my butt muscles. Bonus!)
2. I finally lost all that law school weight. I feel so much better without the extra pounds, although I could still stand to lose a few. Most importantly, I made good lifestyle changes, so I have kept the weight off and my diet is much better than it was before and some other health issues have improved.
3. I continued to build my book of business. My book is small, and not enough to support myself, but I have had at least one decent-sized case that is all my own consistently for the last 3 years—with a few smaller clients mixed in as well.
4. I finally found a new GP who actually addressed an ongoing health condition (GERD). It is finally under control. I considered surgery, but decided to hold off because I don't like the risks. But for now my symptoms are controlled wotj meds and I no longer have the daily experience of having a knife thrust into my chest.
5. Family stuff--the twins completed elementary and moved on to middle school. It has been a huge transition, just based on the increase in business. PS survived her first year of high school and created a solid place for herself on her robotics team. DH won a couple of fancy awards at work, and was offered a new job that we ultimately turned down (after a lot of very difficult contemplation).
2014 Plans
I'll not call them resolutions because resolutions never pan out.
1. Figure out what I want to do with my career. It's been a bit stagnant lately. I need to decide if I want to stay on the course or find another. The figuring out should really be a first quarter goal, with the remainder of the year dedicated to implementing my plan.
3. Make our house homey again. This goes along with No. 2, but is also a separate goal. I looked around recently and realized that we have completely ignored and neglected the state of our home. There are chips and nicks and shabbiness that we've just managed to block out as they slowly appeared over time. So many of our household belongings date back to when we were married--18 years ago! And nearly all of our furniture is more than 10 years old. The house just hasn't been my focus, and it shows.
4. Let It Go. This will be my theme for the year (although I suspect this is in my head because the kids play the song from Frozen about a million times a day.) But it applies to me. I freely admit that I am a high-strung control-freak. And it's a big part of what makes me good at my job. But it's not so good when it affects the other areas of my life. I was just smacked in the face with how my control-freakishness was affecting PS and how much stress it was causing. I can't control everything around me all the time, no matter how much I think otherwise.
I don’t feel like I did much last year. It felt like a treading-water kind of year. Mostly staying in place, not moving forward or backward. But surely something happened.
1. I tried something new. That would be fencing with my girls. I am quite unathletic and not generally inclined to do something that I am not naturally good at, so this was a big step for me. But I liked it, and it helped me get in better shape! ( I have a bit of a booty now! I have had a flat ass my entire life, but fencing footwork involves a perpetual squat position that is apparently building up my butt muscles. Bonus!)
2. I finally lost all that law school weight. I feel so much better without the extra pounds, although I could still stand to lose a few. Most importantly, I made good lifestyle changes, so I have kept the weight off and my diet is much better than it was before and some other health issues have improved.
3. I continued to build my book of business. My book is small, and not enough to support myself, but I have had at least one decent-sized case that is all my own consistently for the last 3 years—with a few smaller clients mixed in as well.
4. I finally found a new GP who actually addressed an ongoing health condition (GERD). It is finally under control. I considered surgery, but decided to hold off because I don't like the risks. But for now my symptoms are controlled wotj meds and I no longer have the daily experience of having a knife thrust into my chest.
5. Family stuff--the twins completed elementary and moved on to middle school. It has been a huge transition, just based on the increase in business. PS survived her first year of high school and created a solid place for herself on her robotics team. DH won a couple of fancy awards at work, and was offered a new job that we ultimately turned down (after a lot of very difficult contemplation).
2014 Plans
I'll not call them resolutions because resolutions never pan out.
1. Figure out what I want to do with my career. It's been a bit stagnant lately. I need to decide if I want to stay on the course or find another. The figuring out should really be a first quarter goal, with the remainder of the year dedicated to implementing my plan.
2. Put our house
on the market and make a move. We've been waiting for years for the housing
market to improve so that we didn't lose our equity. The time has come,
and, from what we're hearing, our area is hot. This is a huge step. We bought
this house on a single income that was significantly smaller than either
of our current incomes. Which means we have a very small house payment
compared to our current combined income. There is a lot of security
there, but it is time. This is very much a starter house and we never intended
to stay here as long as we have.
3. Make our house homey again. This goes along with No. 2, but is also a separate goal. I looked around recently and realized that we have completely ignored and neglected the state of our home. There are chips and nicks and shabbiness that we've just managed to block out as they slowly appeared over time. So many of our household belongings date back to when we were married--18 years ago! And nearly all of our furniture is more than 10 years old. The house just hasn't been my focus, and it shows.
4. Let It Go. This will be my theme for the year (although I suspect this is in my head because the kids play the song from Frozen about a million times a day.) But it applies to me. I freely admit that I am a high-strung control-freak. And it's a big part of what makes me good at my job. But it's not so good when it affects the other areas of my life. I was just smacked in the face with how my control-freakishness was affecting PS and how much stress it was causing. I can't control everything around me all the time, no matter how much I think otherwise.
12/26/13
It's The Final Batman!
Yes, Batman arrived in a Tardis to battle Joker riding on a giant robot. It complimented our Very Whovian Christmas--I pretty much bought out the Doctor Who collections at ThinkGeek and Hot Topic.
There were not really any big ticket gifts for the girls this year. When I asked them what they wanted for Christmas, all I got was "band merch" and 'Doctor Who stuff." So that is what they got.
PS also asked for, and received, "the biggest set of Prismacolors you can find." Those are pretty pricey, but not iPod pricey. She is becoming an amazing artist, and we are trying to be supportive. I've said for years that everyone needs to find the one thing they are better at than most people. It took a while to figure it out, but for PS that thing seems to be art. It's funny, because I really pushed her into taking an art class in high school because her course load was really tough and I thought she needed a blow-off class. She had always been pretty good a drawing, but she really blossomed over the last year or so. And she will spend hours working on one drawing--or how to perfect eyelashes.
A few years ago we got her a Bamboo digital drawing tablet. It sat around, mostly unused for a while. But then she started teaching herself digital art several months ago. And I am amazed. This is one of the first pieces that she did (the weird line is my doing) and she has only gotten better since:
So, yeah, she got her fancy pencils. And she is talking about going to art school. Which my pragmatic, conservative self wants to rail against. But she loves art, and she is good at art. And all I really want for my children is for them to be happy in their career and life choices.
Christmases Past and Present
This year we spent a quiet Christmas at home, just DH and the kids and me. I like our quiet family Christmases, but I wonder if we are depriving our kids by not giving them noisy, boisterous Christmases fully of cousins and aunts and uncles.
As as kid I had divorced parents and one set of divorced grandparents. Christmas Eve and Day were filled with visiting family, sometimes as many as five different gatherings over the two-day period once step-parents were added into the mix. After DH and I were married and we added in his families' celebrations, things only got more chaotic. We never lived in Hometown during our married life, so the holidays always meant trekking back to Hometown and staying with his parents.
And then we had kids. It wasn't so bad making the rounds with just one kid. But the first Christmas back home with the twins and I was done. We had six celebrations to attend over the course of two days with 6 month old twins and a 3 year old in tow. Needless to say, it was not a pleasant experience, and with that I said no more. From that point on we would be spending Christmas in our own home. Anyone who wanted to join us was welcome, and we would come down after the holidays to visit our immediate families.
It was a good decision. And our parents did come to visit a time or two, when the kids were little. But then MIL got sick, and my relationship with my mother worsened, and most years it's just been the 5 of us. Now that the kids are older we sometimes travel, like last year.
Other years are like this one. On Christmas Eve we went to church, and then opened a few gifts and played games and watched movies together. Christmas Day brought more gifts, and a day of lounging in our PJ's, playing with our new toys. It's a pretty good way to spend a holiday. I just hope the kids feel the same.
As as kid I had divorced parents and one set of divorced grandparents. Christmas Eve and Day were filled with visiting family, sometimes as many as five different gatherings over the two-day period once step-parents were added into the mix. After DH and I were married and we added in his families' celebrations, things only got more chaotic. We never lived in Hometown during our married life, so the holidays always meant trekking back to Hometown and staying with his parents.
And then we had kids. It wasn't so bad making the rounds with just one kid. But the first Christmas back home with the twins and I was done. We had six celebrations to attend over the course of two days with 6 month old twins and a 3 year old in tow. Needless to say, it was not a pleasant experience, and with that I said no more. From that point on we would be spending Christmas in our own home. Anyone who wanted to join us was welcome, and we would come down after the holidays to visit our immediate families.
It was a good decision. And our parents did come to visit a time or two, when the kids were little. But then MIL got sick, and my relationship with my mother worsened, and most years it's just been the 5 of us. Now that the kids are older we sometimes travel, like last year.
Other years are like this one. On Christmas Eve we went to church, and then opened a few gifts and played games and watched movies together. Christmas Day brought more gifts, and a day of lounging in our PJ's, playing with our new toys. It's a pretty good way to spend a holiday. I just hope the kids feel the same.
12/24/13
More Batman!
 |
| Joker on Ice |
 |
| Goin' Fishin' Pretty Sure Batman has finally offed Joker. |
 |
| Pinata! Batman likes his chocolate. |
 |
| Can you spot me, Bro? |
 |
| Sometimes you just need a hot bubble bath after long day of villianry and crime fighting. |
 |
| Mary Poppins! PS did this one all on her own because DH and I were out that night. |
 |
| Hitting the booze. |
 |
| Out of ideas |
 |
| Paint me like on of your French girls, Jack. (PS came up with that caption.) |
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| Kissing under the mistletoe. Ok, they are supposed to be dancing, but the kids insist they look like they're kissing. We love Batman no matter which team he bats for. |
12/21/13
And the crazy award goes to...
Yesterday I had a mediation. It was, without question, the most insane mediation I have ever attended.
As per usual, it began with an opening caucus. But instead of formal opening statements, the mediator wanted to have an informal discussion. This seemed ok because the parties already appeared close to an agreement, with one unresolved issue. It was a commercial litigation matter, so not the high emotion that one might see in a family law or personal injury case. The relationship between the parties and counsel had been cordial.
But a few minutes into the group session, and seemingly without a trigger, opposing counsel came unhinged. He suddenly started yelling at my client, leaning across the conference table and pointing his finger in my client's face.
I leapt from my seat and positioned myself between opposing counsel and my client and said in my biggest, meanest mom voice, "You MAY NOT speak to my client like that." He kept yelling, and I kept repeating myself. He stood up and I puffed up and stood my ground. He is at least 60 years old had a good 6" and nearly 100 pounds on me, but I was not going to back down or tolerate his rant.
And then he started blowing raspberries. Yes, sticking out his tongue and spitting like a preschooler. I held my ground and said (in the big mean mom voice) "That is the most unprofessional behavior I have ever seen."
Meanwhile, the mediator was trying to regain control of the room. Opposing counsel finally sat back down, but continued to blow raspberries. I stood my ground, and the mediator hustled the other parties out of the room.
In the end, the case settled and I got exactly what I asked for.
While it makes for an amusing story (much better when told in person), I wonder about the impact on my professional reputation. Opposing counsel isn't an attorney I come across often, but the mediator's firm is a peer firm in our niche industry. I hadn't worked with the mediator before, but he is well known in our niche industry, and I've worked with other attorneys in his office. I have never yelled at another attorney before, and I don't want that story going around in a way that makes me seem like the crazy one.
As per usual, it began with an opening caucus. But instead of formal opening statements, the mediator wanted to have an informal discussion. This seemed ok because the parties already appeared close to an agreement, with one unresolved issue. It was a commercial litigation matter, so not the high emotion that one might see in a family law or personal injury case. The relationship between the parties and counsel had been cordial.
But a few minutes into the group session, and seemingly without a trigger, opposing counsel came unhinged. He suddenly started yelling at my client, leaning across the conference table and pointing his finger in my client's face.
I leapt from my seat and positioned myself between opposing counsel and my client and said in my biggest, meanest mom voice, "You MAY NOT speak to my client like that." He kept yelling, and I kept repeating myself. He stood up and I puffed up and stood my ground. He is at least 60 years old had a good 6" and nearly 100 pounds on me, but I was not going to back down or tolerate his rant.
And then he started blowing raspberries. Yes, sticking out his tongue and spitting like a preschooler. I held my ground and said (in the big mean mom voice) "That is the most unprofessional behavior I have ever seen."
Meanwhile, the mediator was trying to regain control of the room. Opposing counsel finally sat back down, but continued to blow raspberries. I stood my ground, and the mediator hustled the other parties out of the room.
In the end, the case settled and I got exactly what I asked for.
While it makes for an amusing story (much better when told in person), I wonder about the impact on my professional reputation. Opposing counsel isn't an attorney I come across often, but the mediator's firm is a peer firm in our niche industry. I hadn't worked with the mediator before, but he is well known in our niche industry, and I've worked with other attorneys in his office. I have never yelled at another attorney before, and I don't want that story going around in a way that makes me seem like the crazy one.
12/19/13
Parenting Fail
I generally think we're doing ok at this parenting thing. Our kids are liked and well mannered (at least in public). They don't get into serious trouble and they do well in school. They think about other people (unless those other people are their sisters). The time I felt the most incompetent was during potty training. Until now.
PS's grades dropped severely this year. She has historically been an A student, although she has struggled a bit with math for the last year or two. This year she is all over the place in all of her classes--even English which should be easiest for her.
Since she is in high school, I generally expect her to fight her own battles, but her grades dropped to the point that we needed to intervene. We met with her AP history teacher several weeks ago and got a much better idea of his of his expectations and how she needed to be studying. That class is truly preparing her for college-level work, and I have since worked with her on better study techniques (like how to create flash cards and a super detailed outline, instead of pages and pages of block notes). That grade went up, but the others kept falling, even though PS studies for hours every night and we hired a math tutor. So we finally called a meeting with her counselor to help figure out the problem and how to fix it.
The counselor was astonished when she saw PS's schedule with 6 PreAP/AP classes. She said nobody takes that many, especially sophomore year. (PS swears that all her friends do, but all her friends are the robotics super nerds and in reality they probably are not taking the non-core Pre-AP classes.) And the counselor thought that her grades were ok, given her difficult course load.
But poor PS is overwhelmed. She studies constantly, and has little free time. My normally stoic daughter was in tears last week because of her grades in relation to the amount of work that she is putting in.
And, of course, who do you think pushed her to take this course load? Yes, that would me. The mom who wants to give her daughter every opportunity to succeed and go to the best school possible. But it is coming at the risk of her mental health. I see how overwhelmed she is. I see how hard she is trying. She often puts in longer days at school than I do at work, and then hours more studying at home. (I honestly think she studies more than I did in law school.) She simply has more work than she has time for.
And so she is dropping a couple of the PreAP classes. Her mental health is more important than showing a potential college that she can hack a super tough schedule. And that tough schedule isn't really demonstrating anything if her grades are mediocre.
But I shouldn't have pushed her so hard. We should have figured this out before now. The first child truly is the guinea pig. We won't make the same mistakes with her sisters. You can talk Tiger Mama all you want, but kids need downtime. And frankly, teenage depression scares the shit out of me after a rash of suicides we have had in our community. I don't think PS is depressed, but she absolutely needed a reduction in stress levels. And reducing her stress levels reduces my stress levels.
Here's hoping the new year and new schedule brings some relief.
PS's grades dropped severely this year. She has historically been an A student, although she has struggled a bit with math for the last year or two. This year she is all over the place in all of her classes--even English which should be easiest for her.
Since she is in high school, I generally expect her to fight her own battles, but her grades dropped to the point that we needed to intervene. We met with her AP history teacher several weeks ago and got a much better idea of his of his expectations and how she needed to be studying. That class is truly preparing her for college-level work, and I have since worked with her on better study techniques (like how to create flash cards and a super detailed outline, instead of pages and pages of block notes). That grade went up, but the others kept falling, even though PS studies for hours every night and we hired a math tutor. So we finally called a meeting with her counselor to help figure out the problem and how to fix it.
The counselor was astonished when she saw PS's schedule with 6 PreAP/AP classes. She said nobody takes that many, especially sophomore year. (PS swears that all her friends do, but all her friends are the robotics super nerds and in reality they probably are not taking the non-core Pre-AP classes.) And the counselor thought that her grades were ok, given her difficult course load.
But poor PS is overwhelmed. She studies constantly, and has little free time. My normally stoic daughter was in tears last week because of her grades in relation to the amount of work that she is putting in.
And, of course, who do you think pushed her to take this course load? Yes, that would me. The mom who wants to give her daughter every opportunity to succeed and go to the best school possible. But it is coming at the risk of her mental health. I see how overwhelmed she is. I see how hard she is trying. She often puts in longer days at school than I do at work, and then hours more studying at home. (I honestly think she studies more than I did in law school.) She simply has more work than she has time for.
And so she is dropping a couple of the PreAP classes. Her mental health is more important than showing a potential college that she can hack a super tough schedule. And that tough schedule isn't really demonstrating anything if her grades are mediocre.
But I shouldn't have pushed her so hard. We should have figured this out before now. The first child truly is the guinea pig. We won't make the same mistakes with her sisters. You can talk Tiger Mama all you want, but kids need downtime. And frankly, teenage depression scares the shit out of me after a rash of suicides we have had in our community. I don't think PS is depressed, but she absolutely needed a reduction in stress levels. And reducing her stress levels reduces my stress levels.
Here's hoping the new year and new schedule brings some relief.
12/8/13
Batman on the Shelf
I've been quite disappointed over the last couple of years that my kids are too old for the Elf on the Shelf, that is sweeping Facebook and Pinterest. He looks like so much fun! So this year, I decided that we needed to do our own, teenager version of the Elf on the Shelf. So I got online and ordered an allegedly poseable Batman and a Joker, in case we wanted to mix it up a bit.
Batman and Joker arrived rappelling from the ceiling fan on dental floss with this note, and have proceeded to display their antics everynight:
Anyway, I was driving the twins and their friend to an event last week, and they were showing the friend our Batman pictures (and one of TT posing with Satan while in New Orleans, and one of PS pretending to cut her dad's head off with a saw at the Christmas Tree far) and the friend said, your family is...interesting.
I think she meant it as a compliment. At least, that's how I'm going to take it.
Batman and Joker arrived rappelling from the ceiling fan on dental floss with this note, and have proceeded to display their antics everynight:
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| Playing Battleship--although the girls pointed out that none of the hits actually matched where the ships are. Oops. |
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| Breaking into the Lucky Charms (By the way, I had no idea we even had Lucky Charms. The twins went to the grocery store and I let them pick from the cereal that was on sale and obviously was not paying attention to what they threw into the cart. But it is a great late night snack.) |
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| The girls wanted to know how Batman was able to spell out HELP when he doesn't actually have superpowers. Could they be a little less analytical, please? (No, the table's not dirty, just beat up. Yes, I need to replace it.) |
Anyway, I was driving the twins and their friend to an event last week, and they were showing the friend our Batman pictures (and one of TT posing with Satan while in New Orleans, and one of PS pretending to cut her dad's head off with a saw at the Christmas Tree far) and the friend said, your family is...interesting.
I think she meant it as a compliment. At least, that's how I'm going to take it.
12/6/13
Ice Day
We don't get snow days around here, we get ice days. It was 80 here on Wednesday--we've seen a 50 degree drop in 24 hours--crazy!
There's little accumulation on the ground, but what's there is solid ice. My tree is one giant icicle and my neighbors crepe myrtles are now hanging all the way into my yard, over the 6 foot fence, and onto my rose bushes--I hope it is only the weight of the ice and that the branches haven't broken.
The city is completely shut down. Schools were cancelled yesterday before a drop of freezing rain ever hit the ground. I wonder what our ancestors would have thought about our ability to predict the weather future? Doppler radar sure would have been handy in pioneer times. I bet the Donner Party would have appreciated it (too soon?).
Courts, city offices, the twin's girl scout campout, and every holiday event scheduled for the weekend has been cancelled. Except The Marathon. The Marathon is the biggest running event in this region. The weather is generally pretty crappy for it, but if you have ever met a marathoner, you know they are all slightly crazy and will run in just about anything--especially when they have been preparing for a year or more.
DH is supposed to be running a relay leg. He is not a crazy marathoner determined to accomplish the goal he has been preparing for all year. He is a casual 5Ker who got roped into the relay because his company is a race sponsor. If it were only him, he would back out, but he has an entire team to consider (they are called 4 Girls and DH).
Meanwhile, he is in New Hampshire, which is quite a bit warmer than where we are, which should never, ever be colder than New Hampshire.
Anyway, I'll happily take the ice day. I am happily ensconced in my warm and cozy house with my girlies. I had to foresight (thanks to that handy doppler radar) to pick up provisions to keep up fed through the weekend, and a box of fake logs to supplement our meager firewood in case we lose power. (We already lost power yesterday, before the storms came in,which is particularly puzzling since the power lines are underground here.)
I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that DH's flight home tomorrow doesn't get cancelled. If it does, I guess he definitely won't be running in the marathon, and I'm sure as heck not filling in for him!
There's little accumulation on the ground, but what's there is solid ice. My tree is one giant icicle and my neighbors crepe myrtles are now hanging all the way into my yard, over the 6 foot fence, and onto my rose bushes--I hope it is only the weight of the ice and that the branches haven't broken.
The city is completely shut down. Schools were cancelled yesterday before a drop of freezing rain ever hit the ground. I wonder what our ancestors would have thought about our ability to predict the weather future? Doppler radar sure would have been handy in pioneer times. I bet the Donner Party would have appreciated it (too soon?).
Courts, city offices, the twin's girl scout campout, and every holiday event scheduled for the weekend has been cancelled. Except The Marathon. The Marathon is the biggest running event in this region. The weather is generally pretty crappy for it, but if you have ever met a marathoner, you know they are all slightly crazy and will run in just about anything--especially when they have been preparing for a year or more.
DH is supposed to be running a relay leg. He is not a crazy marathoner determined to accomplish the goal he has been preparing for all year. He is a casual 5Ker who got roped into the relay because his company is a race sponsor. If it were only him, he would back out, but he has an entire team to consider (they are called 4 Girls and DH).
Meanwhile, he is in New Hampshire, which is quite a bit warmer than where we are, which should never, ever be colder than New Hampshire.
Anyway, I'll happily take the ice day. I am happily ensconced in my warm and cozy house with my girlies. I had to foresight (thanks to that handy doppler radar) to pick up provisions to keep up fed through the weekend, and a box of fake logs to supplement our meager firewood in case we lose power. (We already lost power yesterday, before the storms came in,which is particularly puzzling since the power lines are underground here.)
I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that DH's flight home tomorrow doesn't get cancelled. If it does, I guess he definitely won't be running in the marathon, and I'm sure as heck not filling in for him!
12/1/13
Back From Our Week in NOLA
We left a day earlier than we had planned, trying to get ahead of a predicted-to-be nasty winter storm. Unfortunately, the storm just followed us, and the weather was cold and rainy and a bit of a buzzkill, since most of what we wanted to do involved outdoor activities. (Yeah, you Northerners can laugh at us!)
Monday we explored the shops and art galleries in the French Quarter until the mist turned to rain, and then we bailed in favor of nap time at the hotel, rounding out our day by going to see Catching Fire (a much better adaptation than the Hunger Games).
Tuesday the weather was even nastier, so we headed to the aquarium. We have a fantastic aquarium in our own backyard, and the Audubon Aquarium didn't quite measure up, but the twins enjoyed it. Buying a membership was the best financial choice for our family of five, so the twins and I followed up the aquarium with the insectarium (DH couldn't get in because it inexplicably had security and DH had a pocket knife, but he wasn't very interested anyway.) The Insectarium was unimpressive. Most of the exhibits were artificial--few live specimens.
By Wednesday the rain was gone, but it was still cold. We hit the zoo, and spent a lot of time in the heated reptile building. The zoo was the best of the Audubon trio, although many of the exhibits were closed because of the cold or renovations. But the more cold-tolerant animals were more active than we typically see in more temperate weather. It warmed up by afternoon, so we did a scavenger hunt tour of the garden district from the Stray Boots app. The tour was worth the modest cost of the app, and the kids enjoyed it. That evening DH and I headed out to the swanky Irvin Mayfield's Jazz Playhouse, for some really good music and decent, interesting drinks. I had a cucumber, basil margarita, which would have been really good if they had not added soda water. I can't do bubbles in my alcohol. We hadn't intended to leave the kids alone this trip, but our hotel felt really safe and they were totally cool with it.
Thursday, of course, our options were limited, but the weather was much nicer. We watched the Macy's parade from our hotel before heading out to lunch (did anybody catch the 5 seconds of robots that started the parade? PS's team competed against two of them.) We hit the French Quarter after lunch and it was busier than we had seen it all week. It was really the first time we saw street performers. We also caught the Bayou Classic parade, watching from Jackson Square with beignets and cafe au laits. The girls had great fun catching beads. That evening we finally made it to Preservation Hall. We had wanted to do this earlier in the week, but were put off by the though of standing outside in the cold. It was sooooooo good. Absolutely blew the music from the previous night out of the water. I was disappointed it was our last night, because I would have gone back.
We were headed back home Friday, but we headed back out the the French Quarter for a couple of hours so the girls could pick up some things they had scoped out earlier in the week. The weather was beautiful and the Quarter was much more active. We found Royal to be our favorite street in the Quarter--only a block over from Bourbon, but a totally different vibe--loaded with art galleries and fun shops. PS's dream job is to be a Pixar animator, and she was thrilled to find a gallery with original works by Tim Burton.
Overall it was a good trip, but we definitely missed out on some things because of the weather. We had intended to do a ghost tour, but nobody wanted to be out at night in the cold. And we wanted to spend some time exploring Magazine Street. We're already thinking that a warmer weather trip is a must.
Monday we explored the shops and art galleries in the French Quarter until the mist turned to rain, and then we bailed in favor of nap time at the hotel, rounding out our day by going to see Catching Fire (a much better adaptation than the Hunger Games).
Tuesday the weather was even nastier, so we headed to the aquarium. We have a fantastic aquarium in our own backyard, and the Audubon Aquarium didn't quite measure up, but the twins enjoyed it. Buying a membership was the best financial choice for our family of five, so the twins and I followed up the aquarium with the insectarium (DH couldn't get in because it inexplicably had security and DH had a pocket knife, but he wasn't very interested anyway.) The Insectarium was unimpressive. Most of the exhibits were artificial--few live specimens.
By Wednesday the rain was gone, but it was still cold. We hit the zoo, and spent a lot of time in the heated reptile building. The zoo was the best of the Audubon trio, although many of the exhibits were closed because of the cold or renovations. But the more cold-tolerant animals were more active than we typically see in more temperate weather. It warmed up by afternoon, so we did a scavenger hunt tour of the garden district from the Stray Boots app. The tour was worth the modest cost of the app, and the kids enjoyed it. That evening DH and I headed out to the swanky Irvin Mayfield's Jazz Playhouse, for some really good music and decent, interesting drinks. I had a cucumber, basil margarita, which would have been really good if they had not added soda water. I can't do bubbles in my alcohol. We hadn't intended to leave the kids alone this trip, but our hotel felt really safe and they were totally cool with it.
Thursday, of course, our options were limited, but the weather was much nicer. We watched the Macy's parade from our hotel before heading out to lunch (did anybody catch the 5 seconds of robots that started the parade? PS's team competed against two of them.) We hit the French Quarter after lunch and it was busier than we had seen it all week. It was really the first time we saw street performers. We also caught the Bayou Classic parade, watching from Jackson Square with beignets and cafe au laits. The girls had great fun catching beads. That evening we finally made it to Preservation Hall. We had wanted to do this earlier in the week, but were put off by the though of standing outside in the cold. It was sooooooo good. Absolutely blew the music from the previous night out of the water. I was disappointed it was our last night, because I would have gone back.
We were headed back home Friday, but we headed back out the the French Quarter for a couple of hours so the girls could pick up some things they had scoped out earlier in the week. The weather was beautiful and the Quarter was much more active. We found Royal to be our favorite street in the Quarter--only a block over from Bourbon, but a totally different vibe--loaded with art galleries and fun shops. PS's dream job is to be a Pixar animator, and she was thrilled to find a gallery with original works by Tim Burton.
Overall it was a good trip, but we definitely missed out on some things because of the weather. We had intended to do a ghost tour, but nobody wanted to be out at night in the cold. And we wanted to spend some time exploring Magazine Street. We're already thinking that a warmer weather trip is a must.
11/23/13
I'm Still Standin'
This fall has been challenging. With the twins now in middle school, we are busier than ever. We are lucky if we get one weeknight in any given week that is unscheduled.
And work has picked up a lot. It is good news, because we have been really slow for a long time. But the frenetic business is draining. And I remain the only full time associate supporting 5 partners (not to mention my own growing book of business). While I have been able to do whatever they need for a very long time, I have lately been turning down work because I am completely maxed out. I am frustrated by not having any support for my own cases or someone that I can hand work off to at this stage in my career. Such is the life in a small firm, I guess.
And the asshole ratio for opposing counsel has increased substantially in the last few months. I have always loved my job, but dealing with so many pricks lately is making me rethink my line of work. I am feeling very burned out lately, and it does not help that I rarely get a moment of down time.
But... I took off this coming week. The kids are out of school all week and it's our only chance to take a vacation until summer (and we did not get more than a long weekend last summer). Honestly, I would be perfectly happy chilling out at home all week. What I really need is a slow down. I love traveling, but I just can't generate a lot of enthusiasm for this trip. I don't even have our days planned, which is totally contrary to my control freak personality. (Gee, once I read what I have written so far, this sounds like textbook depression. Hmmmmmm.)
Anyway, we're headed to New Orleans tomorrow. We've stopped while passing through on trips elsewhere, but we have never spent more than a few hours there. We love what we've seen in our short visits, and wanted to spend more time exploring the city. (Of course, I've received more than a few inquisitions-"You're taking your kids to New Orleans? For Thanksgiving?!?") Yes, yes I am exposing my children to new food and music and art and culture. You might try it sometime, Judgy McJudgersons.
So, yay, vacay! And I'm sure we'll have fun once we're there, even if I'm being rather grumpy right at this moment. Worst case, there will be plenty of booze and beignets.
And work has picked up a lot. It is good news, because we have been really slow for a long time. But the frenetic business is draining. And I remain the only full time associate supporting 5 partners (not to mention my own growing book of business). While I have been able to do whatever they need for a very long time, I have lately been turning down work because I am completely maxed out. I am frustrated by not having any support for my own cases or someone that I can hand work off to at this stage in my career. Such is the life in a small firm, I guess.
And the asshole ratio for opposing counsel has increased substantially in the last few months. I have always loved my job, but dealing with so many pricks lately is making me rethink my line of work. I am feeling very burned out lately, and it does not help that I rarely get a moment of down time.
But... I took off this coming week. The kids are out of school all week and it's our only chance to take a vacation until summer (and we did not get more than a long weekend last summer). Honestly, I would be perfectly happy chilling out at home all week. What I really need is a slow down. I love traveling, but I just can't generate a lot of enthusiasm for this trip. I don't even have our days planned, which is totally contrary to my control freak personality. (Gee, once I read what I have written so far, this sounds like textbook depression. Hmmmmmm.)
Anyway, we're headed to New Orleans tomorrow. We've stopped while passing through on trips elsewhere, but we have never spent more than a few hours there. We love what we've seen in our short visits, and wanted to spend more time exploring the city. (Of course, I've received more than a few inquisitions-"You're taking your kids to New Orleans? For Thanksgiving?!?") Yes, yes I am exposing my children to new food and music and art and culture. You might try it sometime, Judgy McJudgersons.
So, yay, vacay! And I'm sure we'll have fun once we're there, even if I'm being rather grumpy right at this moment. Worst case, there will be plenty of booze and beignets.
10/2/13
The Geek Squad
So yeah, haven't been around much lately. My downtime is minimal now that school is back in full swing. The kids are out of school today and I have a late-morning court appearance, which has granted me a rare bit of free time in the morning. I think that it what I miss most about summer--having an hour or so in the mornings to take care of a few things and catch up on my reader. Now I have to hit the ground running, and the days are long.
DH bought the girls tickets to a Comic Con event on Friday. He did this last weekend, essentially giving us one week to pull together costumes. (PS said "if you don't dress up for Comic Con, you just look like an idiot.") And I worked all weekend because we were on standby for trial this week (which, of course, didn't go). So it has been a bit of a challenge to pull this off, but we're doing ok.
PS may be the world's first non-slutty Poison Ivy. Late Saturday night we hit Wal-Mart (my least favorite place in the world, but with our time constraints, options were limited) in search of something I could hack into a Poison Ivy costume. We found a size 2XL green sundress on clearance for $5, and I managed to cut it down to a size 5. I am no seamstress, so fortunately my crappy seams are hidden by the 10 million leaves we have glued to it. So far so good.
But then my kid who never wears any makeup decided that she must do Poison Ivy makeup. So I bought some green eye makeup and she dug up a tube of bright red lipstick. Holy crap, my 15 year old just morphed into a 21 year old! Thank goodness her dad is going with her. And that we managed to create a modest Poison Ivy outfit.
We are making a Tardis tutu costume for SS, complete with a light-up hat. I haven't seen the whole outfit together yet, so I'm anxious to see how it looks. Meanwhile, I have sadly learned the intricate details of the Tardis.
And TT will be the 11th doctor. Her costume was definitely the easiest. Fortunately, I have a suit jacket that will work well enough, so she just needed a few accessories. Although there was a brief moment of panic when we didn't know if I had ordered the 10th doctor's sonic screwdriver or the 11th doctor's sonic screwdriver. God, mom! How did I not know there were different sonic screwdrivers? Oh yeah, I don't watch Doctor Who.
DH bought the girls tickets to a Comic Con event on Friday. He did this last weekend, essentially giving us one week to pull together costumes. (PS said "if you don't dress up for Comic Con, you just look like an idiot.") And I worked all weekend because we were on standby for trial this week (which, of course, didn't go). So it has been a bit of a challenge to pull this off, but we're doing ok.
PS may be the world's first non-slutty Poison Ivy. Late Saturday night we hit Wal-Mart (my least favorite place in the world, but with our time constraints, options were limited) in search of something I could hack into a Poison Ivy costume. We found a size 2XL green sundress on clearance for $5, and I managed to cut it down to a size 5. I am no seamstress, so fortunately my crappy seams are hidden by the 10 million leaves we have glued to it. So far so good.
But then my kid who never wears any makeup decided that she must do Poison Ivy makeup. So I bought some green eye makeup and she dug up a tube of bright red lipstick. Holy crap, my 15 year old just morphed into a 21 year old! Thank goodness her dad is going with her. And that we managed to create a modest Poison Ivy outfit.
We are making a Tardis tutu costume for SS, complete with a light-up hat. I haven't seen the whole outfit together yet, so I'm anxious to see how it looks. Meanwhile, I have sadly learned the intricate details of the Tardis.
And TT will be the 11th doctor. Her costume was definitely the easiest. Fortunately, I have a suit jacket that will work well enough, so she just needed a few accessories. Although there was a brief moment of panic when we didn't know if I had ordered the 10th doctor's sonic screwdriver or the 11th doctor's sonic screwdriver. God, mom! How did I not know there were different sonic screwdrivers? Oh yeah, I don't watch Doctor Who.
9/5/13
How many oceans are there?
Can you answer without googling? I asked at least 5 people that question today, all with graduate degrees, and all answered 7. That is wrong.
Apparently the answer isn't 4, either. Although it was when I grew up. We had the Arctic, Indian, Atlantic and Pacific oceans. But wait...in 2000 the powers that be (who exactly gets to decide these things?) decided there should be another ocean. So now we have 5 oceans (or one ocean divided into 5 zones), the fifth being the Southern Ocean.
WTF? Why have I not head about this before now? And how the hell do you just get to up and create a new ocean? Is this to make up for the deplanetization of Pluto? Because it's not the same, dudes, and Pluto will always be a planet in my heart.
Apparently the answer isn't 4, either. Although it was when I grew up. We had the Arctic, Indian, Atlantic and Pacific oceans. But wait...in 2000 the powers that be (who exactly gets to decide these things?) decided there should be another ocean. So now we have 5 oceans (or one ocean divided into 5 zones), the fifth being the Southern Ocean.
WTF? Why have I not head about this before now? And how the hell do you just get to up and create a new ocean? Is this to make up for the deplanetization of Pluto? Because it's not the same, dudes, and Pluto will always be a planet in my heart.
9/2/13
The Sad, Sad End of Summer
We made it through the first week of school, and were quite happy to have a 3-day weekend to recover from it. It is going to be a very busy year.
SS's days were particularly long because of volleyball tryouts. She made the "B" team, and we were thrilled. Volleyball is extremely popular here and many girls play competitive club ball. There were twice as many girls trying out as there were spots. If you haven't been playing, you didn't have a chance in heck of making a team. The sad reality of modern America is that if you haven't picked a sport by the time you're 10, you have virtually no chance of playing once you're in middle school and high school. It seems awfully young to have to have you're life figured out.
We're already booked for every night this week, and our entire fall is quickly filling. I've always been careful not to over-schedule the kids, but I feel like we are pushing our limits this year. Part of it is that the kids are simply getting older and having more school-related activities. Volleyball practice is now everyday instead of once a week. And we have choir and band. PS still has robotics and SS is planning to get involved with the team at her school. And now we have added fencing to our schedules--something that we could get rid of, but those of us who are doing it don't really have another regular physical activity.
One big question mark is Girl Scouts. There are conflicts with the regular meetings. But the girls really like to go camping and do other special events with their friends--who I am sure all in the same position. Even last year, the regular meetings grew pretty few and far in between. The girls had also been going to church on Wednesday nights (which is really just a church-sanctioned rave where all their friends hang out), but already had to skip last week so that they could get their homework done.
And, of course, the workload has substantially increased. All three are taking pre-AP courses in their core classes (PS is actually taking her first AP class), and their teachers are making it clear that they won't be slacking this year. All three are scrambling tonight to complete projects that were assigned over the weekend. And we just realized that they all need glue and we can't find a single non-dried out bottle in the house. When I was buying school supplies, it didn't occur to me that my middle and high school students would need school glue.
Hopefully we can hang on with our overly-busy life. But I guess if it gets to be too much, we'll have to start making cuts.
SS's days were particularly long because of volleyball tryouts. She made the "B" team, and we were thrilled. Volleyball is extremely popular here and many girls play competitive club ball. There were twice as many girls trying out as there were spots. If you haven't been playing, you didn't have a chance in heck of making a team. The sad reality of modern America is that if you haven't picked a sport by the time you're 10, you have virtually no chance of playing once you're in middle school and high school. It seems awfully young to have to have you're life figured out.
We're already booked for every night this week, and our entire fall is quickly filling. I've always been careful not to over-schedule the kids, but I feel like we are pushing our limits this year. Part of it is that the kids are simply getting older and having more school-related activities. Volleyball practice is now everyday instead of once a week. And we have choir and band. PS still has robotics and SS is planning to get involved with the team at her school. And now we have added fencing to our schedules--something that we could get rid of, but those of us who are doing it don't really have another regular physical activity.
One big question mark is Girl Scouts. There are conflicts with the regular meetings. But the girls really like to go camping and do other special events with their friends--who I am sure all in the same position. Even last year, the regular meetings grew pretty few and far in between. The girls had also been going to church on Wednesday nights (which is really just a church-sanctioned rave where all their friends hang out), but already had to skip last week so that they could get their homework done.
And, of course, the workload has substantially increased. All three are taking pre-AP courses in their core classes (PS is actually taking her first AP class), and their teachers are making it clear that they won't be slacking this year. All three are scrambling tonight to complete projects that were assigned over the weekend. And we just realized that they all need glue and we can't find a single non-dried out bottle in the house. When I was buying school supplies, it didn't occur to me that my middle and high school students would need school glue.
Hopefully we can hang on with our overly-busy life. But I guess if it gets to be too much, we'll have to start making cuts.
8/26/13
8/25/13
Minor Update
Thanks to all who left comments on my last post. Your tips and experiences are really helpful.
I nearly lost it with the doctor's office on Friday because I couldn't get a call back. And when I finally talked to a real person, it was a nurse who could answer none of my questions. We will definitely be changing doctors. In the meantime, I spent a good part of my day tracking down a pediatric endocrinologist. Even in a big city, they are not easy to come by, most of them wouldn't make an appointment without a referral, and the earliest appointments are months away. But eventually, I found a specialist, made an appointment for late October--the earliest I could get in with anybody, and directed my doctor to make the referral to specialist and send over PS's records. It was all far more difficult than it needed to be, if the primary care physician would have done his freaking job.
I know in the great world of terrible diseases, this one is not so bad. It just sucks to have a chronic illness diagnosis at 14. And my bigger concern is her risk of related illnesses--so I want as much information as possible so that we can do whatever we need to prevent or minimize future problems.
Between this and other issues this week has been really shitty. I'm feeling like I must have really pissed off karma. I just want to crawl in bed and hide under my covers and wish all the bad stuff away. Unfortunately, that doesn't really work for grown-ups.
I nearly lost it with the doctor's office on Friday because I couldn't get a call back. And when I finally talked to a real person, it was a nurse who could answer none of my questions. We will definitely be changing doctors. In the meantime, I spent a good part of my day tracking down a pediatric endocrinologist. Even in a big city, they are not easy to come by, most of them wouldn't make an appointment without a referral, and the earliest appointments are months away. But eventually, I found a specialist, made an appointment for late October--the earliest I could get in with anybody, and directed my doctor to make the referral to specialist and send over PS's records. It was all far more difficult than it needed to be, if the primary care physician would have done his freaking job.
I know in the great world of terrible diseases, this one is not so bad. It just sucks to have a chronic illness diagnosis at 14. And my bigger concern is her risk of related illnesses--so I want as much information as possible so that we can do whatever we need to prevent or minimize future problems.
Between this and other issues this week has been really shitty. I'm feeling like I must have really pissed off karma. I just want to crawl in bed and hide under my covers and wish all the bad stuff away. Unfortunately, that doesn't really work for grown-ups.
8/22/13
Not Cool
I took PS to the doctor yesterday. Mostly just a well-child check. To go ahead and start the HPV vaccine. And because she had been complaining a lot about being tired and having headaches. I didn't know if it was normal teenagerness or something else. So it seemed like a good time for a checkup.
Her vitamin D is low. And so is her thyroid. Unfortunately, I learned all of this via a voice message because I was stuck in meetings all afternoon. The doctor never returned my call back. I'm not happy that this news was delivered via a voicemail with no call back. I have a lot of questions.
But my cautious googling has me a bit freaked out. PS will likely have to take thyroid meds for the rest of her life The meds contribute to low bone density--already a risk for her. If it's not treated, her children could have birth defects. And she could develop a goiter. And hypothyroidism is associated with rheumatoid arthritis--what my mother has and the thing I am most terrified of inheriting from her. But I am even more terrified of my children inheriting that ailment.
I had better talk to the doc tomorrow. I will insist on a referral to a pediatric endocrinologist. I need to know what is causing this--and if there is anything else going on. Honestly, I don't trust my doc to do a thorough review.* I only recently started going to him, and he doesn't seem to be particularly detail-oriented, although he's happy to give out meds. He doesn't have a family history--so he doesn't know that her grandmother who died from cancer also had thyroid issues, and that her other grandmother has multiple autoimmune diseases (the most common cause of hypothyroidism is autoimmune disease). I need someone who wants to figure out the whole picture and not just a quick fix to an immediate problem.
In happier news, we found out that SS made the select choir in middle school. This is somewhat hilarious, since she absolutely will not sing in front of us. So I had no idea what her chances were. But apparently the kid can sing.
*Yes, I know this means I should look elsewhere. I just changed from a doc who wouldn't listen to me and would give me meds for anything, so it was a welcome relief to actually receive treatment for real ailments. Finding a good doc is not an easy thing.
Her vitamin D is low. And so is her thyroid. Unfortunately, I learned all of this via a voice message because I was stuck in meetings all afternoon. The doctor never returned my call back. I'm not happy that this news was delivered via a voicemail with no call back. I have a lot of questions.
But my cautious googling has me a bit freaked out. PS will likely have to take thyroid meds for the rest of her life The meds contribute to low bone density--already a risk for her. If it's not treated, her children could have birth defects. And she could develop a goiter. And hypothyroidism is associated with rheumatoid arthritis--what my mother has and the thing I am most terrified of inheriting from her. But I am even more terrified of my children inheriting that ailment.
I had better talk to the doc tomorrow. I will insist on a referral to a pediatric endocrinologist. I need to know what is causing this--and if there is anything else going on. Honestly, I don't trust my doc to do a thorough review.* I only recently started going to him, and he doesn't seem to be particularly detail-oriented, although he's happy to give out meds. He doesn't have a family history--so he doesn't know that her grandmother who died from cancer also had thyroid issues, and that her other grandmother has multiple autoimmune diseases (the most common cause of hypothyroidism is autoimmune disease). I need someone who wants to figure out the whole picture and not just a quick fix to an immediate problem.
In happier news, we found out that SS made the select choir in middle school. This is somewhat hilarious, since she absolutely will not sing in front of us. So I had no idea what her chances were. But apparently the kid can sing.
*Yes, I know this means I should look elsewhere. I just changed from a doc who wouldn't listen to me and would give me meds for anything, so it was a welcome relief to actually receive treatment for real ailments. Finding a good doc is not an easy thing.
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