The last day of the year*

Yesterday was our 15th anniversary. Hard to believe. Hard to remember a time when DH wasn't around. We've really grown up together, from 20-year-old broke college students to 35-year-old professionals and parents of 3.

This year was a tough one with the loss of MIL and the emotional roller-coaster that FIL has been through in the aftermath. Really, the last two years have been hell in this regard.

Professionally, the year has been good for both DH and me. I just got a glowing performance review a raise that would be significant under any circumstances, but is even more meaningful in the current economy.

And I think it has been a good one for the kids. I was so worried about how PS would fare in middle school with her nerdy shyness, but middle school has been great. I'm so impressed with all of the opportunities at her new school, and so far there have been no "mean girl" issues.

Here's hoping for a great 2011.

*Oops, this was yesterday's post. I was distracted and never published.

Almost Perfect Christmas

We spent most of Christmas Eve hanging out a home and baking befor heading out to my Uncle's around dinnertime. My mother was there and I had to deal with her snark and complaining, but it was mostly kept in check. (She did make the exact snarky comment I predicted she would make when she opened the gift certificate we gave to her and her husband. It was kind of funny that I had nailed it so accurately.)

We spent all day today at home, just the five of us, as per our usual routine. Santa spoiled the girls, and we spent the day lounging in our jammies and playing with our new toys. The twins got a flip video camera to share and they have been making mini-movies all afternoon. They also got Scribblish and we laughed a lot while playing. It is so nice to be able to play games with the kids that we enjoy.

I got a nook from DH, but I knew it was coming. We both spent a lot of time deciding between the nook and the Kindle. Ultimately, the nook won out because I didn't care for the proprietary nature of the Kindle. (Yes, I know there is a script I can install to convert other formats for viewing on the Kindle, but I'm not sure about the ethics/legality of it. And it just irritates me that Amazon wants to be all Applesque controlly about buying material to run on its device.)

And DH gave me a Neiman Marcus gift certificate that he won at his employer's Christmas party, so I got to spend my morning shopping for this gorgeous bag. I'm hoping I can fit a couple of file folders in it, because the bag I carry to work every day is beat to hell and I really needed a replacement.

Overall, it was a very good Christmas.

So the crappy product of the day goes to...

the Farberware Candy/Deep Fry thermometer.

DH was bummed about missing his Grandma's peanut brittle since we aren't going to Hometown for Christmas, so I promised him that I would make peanut brittle for him. But my candy thermometer was either lost or broken, so I had to find a replacement before the brittle-making could begin.

I did my huge Christmas grocery shopping trip on Sunday, and I figured I would just pick up a new candy thermometer at the grocery store. The only one they had was the stupid Farberware one. Which looks exactly like a meat thermometer. Every candy thermometer I have ever used before looked like a giant regular thermometer with a clip to hold it in place on the side of your pan. I wasn't thrilled, but it was my only option, so I figured I'd make do.

So last night, I commenced with the brittle making, only to discover that my clipless thermometer was a big fat PITA. As soon as I started stirring my brittle, I knocked the thermometer out of the pan and under the electric burner. And it was freaking hot after sitting in a vat of boiling sugar. And my poofy oven mitt left me especially graceless in trying to retrieve the rogue thermometer from under the burner.

Finally, I got a grip on the thermometer only to drop it head-first into my roiling sugar mix. After a few more graceless moments, I pulled it out, only to find the reading window covered in brittle-goo.

DH, hearing the expletives emanating from the kitchen, came to my rescue and fashioned a cardboard holder to balance the thermometer on the side of my pot. It actually worked fairly well. But, unsurprisingly, my peanut brittle came out slightly burned. (DH says its perfectly edible, but I think maybe he's just being nice.)

I'm thinking I have a products liability claim against Farberware. Well, except that my only damages are $1.37 in burned peanut brittle ingredients. And maybe some emotional distress.

Saturday

So it seems like my blog is becoming a weekly. That's not really my intent--I just don't seem to have any time anymore. Ever. More often than not, I am getting home after 8:00 p.m. during the week. This is not necessarily because of work. Sometimes it is. Sometimes its because I have to go straight from work to watch PS cheer or to take the twins to girl scouts. It just feels like we are suddenly busier than ever. I don't blog, I don't watch T.V., I've been sitting on my latest Netflix for 6 weeks, and I've been promising a friend to meet up for drinks for at least two months.

So today I slept in until 7:30. (Yes, that's sleeping in. On our cruise I never slept past 7 and usually work up before 6, which did not make DH very happy.) And then I sat on the couch in my PJs and finished up my online Christmas shopping until 12:30. DH was sweet enough to go on a Starbucks run. (I heart Peppermint Mochas!) I finally showered, dressed and brushed my teeth at 1:00 pm. It was so nice not to have anywhere to go or anything I had to do.

DH is having a terrible time shopping for me, and I for him, so I ordered myself this lovely pair of leopard-print shoes. (40% off!) He can wrap them when they come in. Then I ventured out with PS to look for boots for her. I am so thankful that I did 90% of my shopping online. We didn't have much luck with the boots, and I tired of the crowds after about 10 minutes.

I am ready to be done with Christmas and the extra business that it adds. I'm hoping that life will settle down after the holidays, but that may be a pipe dream. (BTW, I just figured out today that "pipe dream" is a drug reference--duh!)

Meanwhile, tonight I'm going to a hockey game with the friend-I-am-supposed- to-meet-for-drinks. (I heart hockey!) And so our drinks will be beer at the hockey game, and it will be fun.

Math

PS is taking the SAT in January. Yes, she's 12. She's doing it as part of the Duke TIP program, which offers the opportunity to 7th grade students who have received qualifying scores on standardized tests. (PS qualified with every test she has taken over the past two years!) I also took the SAT in the 7th grade through Duke TIP. Waaaay back then you had to score in the 97th percentile on a standardized test to qualify, but I think they have loosened up the requirements a bit, as there were three kids in my school who qualified and many kids from PS's school were chosen to participate. Or maybe it's because I grew up in a much poorer school on the bad side of town, and PS is in a very nice school in a much higher income bracket with excellent resources.

Anyway, I have been getting the SAT question of the day emailed to me so that I can help PS prepare. I have correctly answered every single English question without even thinking about it. And I have no freakin' clue how to begin any of the math questions. Today's question had something to do with lines and angles and tangents and circles. Yeah, not a clue. I'm pretty sure yesterday's question required that I employ the quadratic formula. At least I know there is a quadratic formula, but I couldn't begin to tell you what it is.

I guess it's a good thing that I became a lawyer instead of a rocket scientist, because I have never in my adult life needed to know the quadratic formula. Or how to calculate an angle from a hypotenuse connected by two tangent circles. For that, I am very thankful. And dangit, I can calculate how much 30% plus an extra 15% off a pair of shoes is in about 30 seconds flat. That's way more valuable than knowing how to calculate some stinkin' angle.

I'm baaaackkkkk

We reluctantly returned on Sunday from our week-long Caribbean cruise. I'll admit to seriously wondering how hard it would be to become licensed to practice law in Roatan.

Cruising was awesome. I wasn't sure if I would really like it, but I loved it. We had 3.5 sea days and 3 port days. I wouldn't want any more sea days, but there was plenty to do on the ship. We went ice skating, rockwall climbing, saw concerts and did a scavenger hunt all on the ship. Any we earned medals for winning classic rock trivia (all that credit goes to DH--and for the guy who decided Nirvana was classic rock (WTF?)).

And I am so glad we went for the balcony. It was awesome to sit outside sipping a cocktail and reading. And it worked out especially well because it was very windy on the pool deck for most of the trip, and the balcony offered more protection from the wind.

I will say that anyone who says cruise ship food is gourmet is just flat out lying or has no taste buds. The food was plentiful but mediocre. Any average chain restaurant has better food. But mediocre food certainly wasn't going to ruin the experience, and our waiters were more than happy to bring us something new if we didn't care for what was served (or three desserts if that is what our hearts desired.)

My only other complaint is that we were about 30 years younger than the vast majority of our shipmates. Maybe because the kids are in school? But we were seated at dinner with two younger couples who were a lot of fun, and we laughed a lot about being the youngest group on the ship.

The port days were the best part of the trip, though. We stopped in Roatan, Honduras; Belize City, Belize; and Cozumel, Mexico. My favorite port was Roatan. It was just gorgeous there. We went zipling and snorkeling. Our ziplines had breathtaking views of the rain forest and ocean. (Some friends recently went zipling in Hawaii and their course looked downright ugly compared to ours.) Snorkeling was off a reef in the Blue Channel, and it was stunning. Roatan is supposed to have some of the best diving and snorkeling in the world, and I can certainly believe it.

We spent the rest of the afternoon walking a long dirt road known as West End, that is dotted with bars, restaurants and dive shops. I had a cheeseburger in paradise and danced with native schoolchildren.

I was lest impressed with Belize City. The city was very trashy and not pretty, and we had to pass through a security checkpoint manned by soldiers with very big guns. We took an hour-long bus ride, followed by an hour-long boat ride to see the Mayan Ruins at Lamanai. The ruins were amazing. We climbed a huge temple that dates to 100 B.C. I'm so glad that we got to visit this site, although I'm left with little desire to return to Belize (but maybe we just didn't see the best parts).

Our final port was Cozumel. We had pre-reserved at an all inclusive beach resort called Nachi Cocom. The beach was beautiful and the drinks were plentiful. Maybe a little too plentiful. DH got smashed and doesn't even remember how we got back to the ship. It was his first time ever to get drunk--and I learned that my husband is not a mean drunk or a funny drunk, but a horny drunk. I had to keep shushing him as he loudly slurred inappropriate comments.

Overall, I'd rate it the best vacation we've ever taken, and the most relaxed I've been since I had the twins 9 years ago.

Thankful

For my three beautiful, healthy, smart, funny, well-behaved girls. We are very, very fortunate in the kid department.

For my awesome hubby who has tolerated my control-freak craziness for almost 15 years.

For having a good job in a bad economy.

For having a very normal life despite (or maybe because of) my drama-filled childhood.

For being able to spend today with my hubby and my girlies doing nothing and ordering in.

For weather cool enough to build a fire.

It's been a rough year. This time last year we were travelling to visit the in-laws while MIL was being treated at a cancer center. We didn't realize how dire MIL's circumstances were until that weekend, and even then, we thought we'd have her at least until summer. By January she was in hospice, and we spent the next month traveling back and forth to hometown.

Unfortunately, the stress and drama didn't end with MIL's passing. FIL's sudden return to dating, followed by a marraige less than four months after MIL died put the entire family into a tailspin. And then FIL entered a deep depression from which he still has not emerged.

So we're not really looking forward to this holiday season--but it will be nice to get past it. And I am especially grateful for my drama-free day at home with DH and the girls.

Fearing for our Future

So a few weeks ago our local bar association put out a call for attorneys to teach law for half a day to middle or high school students. And for some inexplicable reason, I was compelled to sign up for this.

"Don't worry," they said, "We'll give you a curriculum."

Yeah, they gave me a curriculum--covering the 4th Amendment. I'm a commercial litigation attorney. The 4th Amendment NEVER comes up in my practice area. EVER. But I read the curriculum, and did a little brushing up the night before, and got a pretty good handle on what I would be speaking about.

Anyway, I can't say it went well. I was assigned to speak to two 10th grade classes in a not-so-great part of town. There was no diversity--every single kid in both of the classes I spoke to was Hispanic. (I suspect I was assigned to this school because my married surname is Spanish.) The kids were completely checked out and apathetic. I'm not a teacher and I'm not the most engaging speaker in the world, but nothing I did could grab these kids' attention.

I tried to ask questions, find something they were interested in, but got very little reaction no matter what path I wandered down. When it was clear they had little interest in legal issues, I tried talking to them about higher education and getting in to college--but going to college did not appear to be in any of their futures. I've spoken to my kids' classes before, and worked with 6th graders in an inner city school and I have never had this much trouble getting kids' attention.

The only kid who asked any questions was one who made it clear that he had plenty of experience with the legal system and he kept asking me specific crim law hypotheticals, mostly related to when and under what circumstances he was allowed to shoot someone.

I left frustrated and trying to figure out what I should have done differently. And a little annoyed that I had just wasted half my day when my schedule is jam-packed right now. I called my teacher brother to whine, and he said what I was feeling but hadn't figured out how to put into words--this school had already given up on these kids--and nothing I could say was going to change anything.

If you like Pina Coladas...

Most of last month I just kind of rolled along and wasn't especially busy. And then last week I got hit with motions and discovery out the wazoo. And of course every single deadline falls during the week that I am on vacation. So while I was already cramming 4 weeks into 3 this month, I am now cramming 4 very busy weeks in to 3.

And Boss informed me on Friday that he wants me to file a petition ASAP. A basic petition is usually something I can knock out in a few of hours. Except this one requires a particular supporting affidavit. And there is a newly enacted statute regarding the contents of the supporting affidavit. And there have been at least a dozen opinions in the last 8 months regarding the old statute and comparing it to the new statute. And there is a circuit split on how to interpret the statute--but my circuit hasn't ruled yet. So I have to figure out how to draft the affidavit so that it is enforceable under the new statute and under both sides of the split. Which means I am putting in a ton of hours researching before I can even start on what should be a super-simple petition.

And DH just left for a business trip. So I'm on my own with the girls for half this week--which will make the long hours I need to put in this week more challenging.

I guess the good news is that I won't have any trouble making my hours even though I'll be taking off for a week. And it's a hell of a lot easier to take being in the office at 9 p.m. when I know that in a month I will be sitting on a beach in the Caribbean drinking Pina Coladas .

Think they did this on purpose?

Just got served with an MSJ and the response is due on the day after Thanksgiving. Which also happens to be the first full day of my cruise. And the response is due the first day after I get back.

Intentionally scheduling a response deadline on a day following a holiday reeks of assholiosis. And since there has been dead silence on this case for months, I can't help but think it was intentional.

Unfortunately for the other side, I am not an procrastinator, so I will have my response drafted by the end of this week. And I am confident that I can obliterate their MSJ.

Trying to ruin my kid's life

PS is in her school's robotics club and their first competition is on Saturday. PS has been going into school early and staying late almost every day for the past two weeks working on the robot. A few weeks ago she brought home a release that was required for her to participate in the competition this weekend.

Now, I don't usually mess around with the releases for my kids' activities. But this one contained a broad-form indemnity clause. I'm 90% sure that the form was drafted by a nonlawyer who lifted some legalese from some another document and threw it into this release because it sounded good without any appreciation for the legal effect of the language. So I modified it because there was no way in heck I was giving broad form indemnity, but they still got a very broad release (that I would never agree to if I were negotiating a contract.)

Anyway, today, two days before the competition, PS texted me, "I can't participate in the robotics competition because you modified the form." I know she was furious with me, and I was envisioning her trying not to cry in front of her friends.

So I jumped into mama bear action. First I emailed her teacher for the contact information of the competition organizers. Then I consulted a co-worker who told me just to sign the damn form (and he agreed to defend me if I get sued). Besides, broad-form indemnity isn't enforceable except under very certain circumstances in my state, and this form didn't meet those circumstances. When I didn't hear back from the teacher in an hour, I started searching the internet for the organizers' contact info. I sent sweet-as-pie emails (as opposed to my typical aggressive-lawyer emails) to three different people begging them to allow my daughter to participate.

Everyone I emailed responded by the end of the day and they were all very, very nice and helpful, although I'm sure they all think I'm a crazy helicopter mom. Unfortunately, the form is required by the university hosting the event, so I can't change it (and I really didn't push the issue because I'd rather risk an unreasonable indemnity clause than have PS thinking that I ruined her life.)

So all is good and PS can participate. Let's just hope nothing happens that could trigger that indemnity provision.

Good Weekend

Watched the best baseball game ever Friday night.

Saturday the girls and I volunteered at the pumpkin patch again. I'm so proud of them for being excited about volunteering and being such good helpers (I'll admit that I had some concerns about them getting bored and whiny before the end of our 4-hour shift, but they did great.) It was rainy, but business was still steady.

Then I went home and took a long nap. It was cool and stormy and we had the windows cracked, which made for perfect sleepy weather.

We topped off our Saturday by carving our pumpkins. I hope they hold up for a week, but this was really our only chance. PS has a robotics competition next Saturday (and I have somehow volunteered myself to drive the entire team to the competition an hour away), and there's no way we would have time during the week.

We put on The Goonies (my favorite childhood movie!) and ET while we worked on our pumpkins. I baked cookies while the girls were scooping out the guts, and then we roasted the seeds. Yum!

This morning DH and the girls have gone to church. I think I'll surprise them when they get home with the Cinnamon Swirl Pancakes that I found yesterday and am dying to try.

Then work--blech! But there has been a lot of chaos in the office lately, so I need to do a little catch up.

A week in the life of a working mom

One of my most frequently hit post is entitled A Day in the Life of an Attorney. Unfortunately, that post isn't particularly instructive of what a day in the life of an attorney is actually like. I've been thinking I should update it with a post that is more reflective of what I actually do in a typical day--but there are no typical days, so I'm not sure how to go about that. So you're getting this post instead.

Wed: Get to work at 9ish. Answer email, return telephone calls, research a memo, ignore email from asshat opposing counsel. Leave office at 12:45 to make 1:30 teacher conference in the 'burbs 30 miles away. Despite my pleas that a morning conference was preferred, 1:30 was the only time slot offered by the teacher. Teacher conference over by 2:00. Decide to work the rest of the day from home instead of losing another 1.5 hours of my day to traffic. Accomplish little, but get some quality time with the girls.

Thurs: Attend conference for women in the industry in which I practice (not lawyers). It starts at 7:30 and is 40 miles away. Leave the house at 6:30, terrible traffic, arrive at 8:15. Still hear opening remarks from the Secretary of State. Attend workshops, network. Pick a table for luncheon. It is already set with plates, flatware, dessert, and a tomato-bisque soup topped with a puff pastry. Giant cockroach* crawls across table, women start screaming and flipping out. I flick the roach onto the floor with my program and a man runs up and stomps us. We are moved to a new table.

Conference over at 1:45, I head straight to the Girl Scout store to purchase vests, insignia and handbooks for the twins before their meeting on Friday.

Back in office by 3:00. Read email, return calls, work on response letter to opposing counsel. Stay until 8:30 to make up for my absence the last two days. Head straight to craft store 5 minutes before closing to buy glue for Girl Scout badges. Home by 9:30. Glue badges until 10:15. Collapse into bed.

Friday: Arrive in office by 9ish. Easy day. Work on designation of experts, review documents. Attorney meeting over lunch. Out of meeting, at 2:30, text from nanny that she is sick, can we please come home early. Grab two Redweld's full of documents, Leave office at 2:45, home by 3:30. Wait for PS to get home at 4:15 to go to Target. Out of necessities. Head to Girl Scout meeting at 6:30. Stick around for 30 minutes to help with bracelet making., then leave the girls and go to Costco. Fridge is empty. Pick up girls at 8:30. Go home, watch baseball.

Sat: 9-1 Girls and I volunteer at pumpkin patch benefiting our local library. They don't usually let kids volunteer, but the girls were awesome helpers. Treat them to pizza afterward. Home by 2:30. Take allergy pill. Collapse into 3 hour nap. Force myself awake. Mother-daughter bingo at 6:30 for Girl Scouts. Home by 9:30.

Sun: Errand day. Twins need jeans, must buy supplies to build bats for their bat research project, need groceries beyond what I bought at Costco, need frames for my federal admission certificates because bosses are complaining about the bareness of my office walls. Home by 4:00. Start pre-cooking meals for this week. Make dinner. Help kids with bats. Order reef-friendly sunscreen and snorkel gear for cruise. 7:00 watch the Amazing Race and Desperate Housewives. 9:00 start preparing for depo on Monday. 12:00 give up and go to bed.

Monday: Up at 5:45 to finish prepping for depo set for 10:00. Arrive at office at 8:15 Deponent is a no-show. Chat with court reporter--learn he is my long-lost twin. We are from same Hometown, went to same high school and same college with same major. Review email, return phone calls. Analyze procedural rule. Start drafting discovery. Review documents. 1:00 deponent suddenly shows up. He was sent three notices for the same day because he is the representative of three different entities, and only read one of them. Get court reporter back to the office and proceed with depo. Done by 5:00. Depos exhaust me. Leave office by 6:00.

Tues: Arrive at office by 9ish. Analyze motion from opposing counsel. Legal research regarding response. Prepare scheduling order. Conference call with client. Conference call with another client. Leave office at 3:30 to work at Legal Aid clinic. All family law clients. I do not practice family law, but don't think I screwed anything up too badly. Done by 5:30. Head home for dinner with girls. Review folders, read spelling words. DH has bowling. PS cheering at football game at 7:00. Home by 9:30. Watch baseball. Collapse into bed at the bottom of the ninth.

Wed: Take PS to ortho appt at 8:00, arrive at office by 9:30. Draft discovery. Respond to email. File third-party petition. Clean office and hang frames before event at office tomorrow. One of the frames mysteriously broke overnight. Leave office at 5:15 to attend teacher conference at 6:15. Home by 6:45. Air conditioner making terrible noise. DH investigates while I start dinner. Done by 8:00. Air conditioner still making terrible noise. Must go to store to replace broken frame before firm event tomorrow. Home by 8:30. Blog while watching Survivor.

This week is not entirely typical. I had a lot of appointments that pulled me out of the office early. I usually work until 6ish and have maybe one late night a week. But otherwise, this is pretty close to a typical week.

*You have not seen a cockroach until you have been to the south. Also known as water bugs or palmetto bugs, these suckers are 2 inches long, the fly and they make creepy clicking noises.

Finally, some good news this week

So back in this post I was complaining that our nanny turnover was going to cause problems with the cruise we had booked in November. Our new nanny is a high school student, and while she is great for a few hours in the evening, there is no chance in heck that I am leaving my kids with her while I leave the country.

So I looked into changing our cruise around before the final payment was due, but I really, really like our itinerary. In the end, I made the payment and left the cruise as it was booked. My plan was to try to come up with some kind of reliable child care option, and if that didn't work out we would just take the darn kids.

After much pondering, we finally decided to ask our grandmotherly neighbor if she had any interest in watching the girls for us. We told her there was no pressure and to think about it. Tonight she called back and agreed to do it! Woohoo!

Our regular nanny will pick the girls up from school as usually and stay until about 8 when they are getting ready for bed. Then she'll hand off to the neighbor, who will watch them overnight--either at our house or hers.

I have been super stressed about this, and I am so glad that the neighbor agreed. I feel much more comfortable leaving the girls with her than any other option I could come up with, and it's super convenient, since she's right next door.

And our passports showed up yesterday. It finally feels like this is all coming together.

So I forgot about the part of fall that I don't love...

Allergies. I don't get the snotty, runny, sneezey allergies. I get them in my eyes. Every year at about this time my eyes completely dry out. My contacts feel like rocks in my eyes. Wearing my glasses isn't much better.

Reading is torture. Reading a computer screen is worse. This is not a good thing in my line of work, where 90% of my day is spent reading, mostly on a computer.

For several years in a row I visited my eye doctor about this time. He was of little help, advising me to take OTC eye drops. They don't help for more than 5 minutes.

So once again I am suffering. Don't know how to make it better, and will be glad when the fall allergy season passes.

I Love Fall

It's my favorite season. Gone with the hotter-than-hell summer, in with brisk mornings and perfect afternoons complimented by clear blue skies.

I can finally bring out my tall boots, tweed skirts and cozy sweaters.

There's football. Even PS's middle school games are enjoyable on a cool fall night, with the lights shining bright, eating nachos and Frito pie.

And the fall holidays are the best. Halloween is all about fun--crazy costumes, lots of candy, tacky decorations, carving pumpkins. This year we have volunteered to work at our town's pumpkin patch, which benefits our local library. The kids are so excited, and I'm glad to see them psyched about volunteer work.

And then Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. It's just about being thankful for what you have. And food. I love Thanksgiving food. I love cooking Thanksgiving food. I love not having the pressure of buying the perfect gift. And you don't even have to go to church.

And then there's the fair--the kickoff of fall. Every year my kids get a random day off from school for "fair day." Today was that day. We haven't actually gone the the fair in several years, but this year DH and I played hooky from work and took the girls to the fair.

We just walked around and ate. And ate. And ate. We tried chicken fried bacon (looks and sounds disgusting, but was actually quite delicious. But thank goodness we were splitting it 5 ways, because I'm sure that any single person consuming an entire serving would suffer an instant heart attack.) We tried Fried Frito Pie (ok, not sure it was worth the very long line). And corn dogs (the best corn dogs in the world are at the fair), funnel cakes, tornado taters, cotton candy.

Overall, a very good day (well, except for the part where TT got pooped on by a bird. She was a little traumatized, but I'm sure she'll be laughing about it by tomorrow) and a nice midweek break.

I'm so happy it's fall.

Russian Jewish Weddings Rock

The ceremony was lovely and the reception was awesome. We were among the few non-Russians in attendance, and the Russians at our table were very nice about explaining everything to us.

The tables for the reception were overflowing with hors d'oeuvres when we arrived. But I didn't recognize anything on the table--except for shrimp and caviar, and I don't care for seafood. I am not an adventurous eater, so I picked to most innocuous looking thing to start off with. It turned out to be beef tongue. I have never been so happy as when the bread basket finally arrived.

And every table had its own (big) bottle of vodka. And cognac. And wine. And shot glasses for toasts. (Trivia tidbit: Russians chase their vodka with pickles. I actually liked the pickle chaser.)

And there were lots of vodka toasts. The Russians kept telling us that us that we did not have to try to keep up with them. And I made the fatal mistake of taking that as a challenge.

Most of the toasts were in Russian and the wedding singer spoke in Russian about half the time, and sang in Russian 90% of the time.

I think the highlight was finally getting to do the Hava Nagila.

We had a great time--right up until I started seeing double. Yes, literally. I told DH that I needed to go back to the room--and that was a perfectly timed exit.

Turns out, I can't keep up with Russians and their vodka toasts. I'm horrified that I got so smashed. I'm a little too old for drinking to excess. And now I'm paying for it with the second hangover in my 35 years. (Children, both of my two hangovers were created in controlled situations where neither me nor my companions would be driving at all.)

So I totally feel like crap today, but it was hands down, the most fun wedding I have ever attended. If you ever have the opportunity to attend a Russian wedding, I highly recommend it--but if you're not Russian, don't even try to keep up with the vodka toasts.

Am I Rich?

There has been a lot of chatter this week in the blawgosphere about what makes one rich. Of course, there's no easy answer. It all depends on experience, perspective, where you've been, where you want to go and where you live.

The short answer to "am I rich?" is no. But that's based on my current perspective. When I was a kid, I would have thought that someone in my position was "rich." Of course, when I was a kid, anyone who lived in a brick house was rich. I lived in an 1000 sq. ft. asbestos-sided house with a swamp cooler (no central air).

In 1993--the year I graduated from high school--my mom earned $17,000 per year. According to this calculator, that's about $26,000 in today's dollars.

We never had any government assistance, but there were plenty of times we were "charging" our school lunches until the next payday, or digging in the couch cushions to find enough change for milk (or mixing up powdered milk-ewwwww!), or eating pancakes for dinner (with powdered sugar because we didn't have syrup) because that's all we had in the house.

So compared to when I was a kid, yeah, we're pretty darn rich. And there are plenty of people in this country who still live the lifestyle I had as a kid, and I guarantee that they would view us as rich.

And compared to them, we are rich. Our annual income is many multiples of what my mom was making back then. We've never had a utility turned off or not had enough food in the house. My kids don't even know what powdered milk is. They've never been told that they can't participate in a school activity because we can't afford it.

And more than that, they have all the right "stuff." The clothes the other kids are wearing, the gadgets the other kids have. I'll admit that PS got a cell phone when she turned 10 not because she needed one, but because everyone else had one. I remember being the only kid who didn't have the new "in" thing,or the right shoes, or the Guess jeans. I don't want my kids to be those kids--but I also want them to appreciate what they have. (PS bought her iPod touch with her own money--I won't spend $200 on a gadget for a kid. And she won't be getting a iPhone until she has a job and can pay for the data plan, even though many of her classmates have them.)

But in the great grand scheme, no we aren't rich. I don't work in Big Law and don't earn the corresponding salary--but I'm also well above government and public service salaries. DH also earns a professional salary. But of course, we have the massive debt associated with putting ourselves through school. Our student loan payments exceed our mortgage. Right now we are comfortable--without the student loan debt we would be very comfortable.

Our mortgage payment is small fraction of our monthly income. Our house is a 2800 sq. ft. two-story brick home. I know that is massive in some parts of the country, but it is pretty average here. We live in an average middle-class neighborhood.

Our splurges are two-new cars. Mine was a necessity because the tranny went out on my 9-year old Suburban. I drive a Nissan Armada with plenty of bells and whistles and I LOVE it. I have no desire to ever have a luxury vehicle. DH drives a Honda CRV which neither of us love, but it gets great gas mileage and he has a long commute.

Our other splurge is a nanny/housekeeper. The nanny because I want my kids to be in their own home after school, and so that they have someone to drive them to ther after-school activities. (I'm not sure this is really a splurge--with 3 kids, the nanny/housekeeper costs less than day care.) The housekeeper because I hate cleaning house, and I'd rather spend my weekends playing with my kids than scrubbing toilets.

We do not own a flat screen TV, a second house, or a boat. (All of which we would like one day.)

I never had vacations as a kid, so we try to take some kind of vacation every year, but usually it involves renting a cabin somewhere. Neither DH nor I have ever left the country. Our Disney trip last year was a big splurge. Our upcoming cruise is a much-smaller splurge.

We've started saving for retirement and our kids' college, but we have a long way to go. I don't want my kids to start out their lives in debt like we have.

So I guess, to consider myself rich at this point, we would have to pay off our student loan debt. Have the kids' college funds funded. Be able to take a big vacation every year without considering it a splurge. Get the flat-screen TV, the second home and the boat.

And being able to walk into Barnes and Noble and buy anything that I want without even thinking about it. That, to me, is the greatest luxury.

Internal alarm

Every morning for the last week or so I have awakened at exactly 5:33. Weird. I have absolutely no reason to be up at 5:33. Even on school days, I don't need to get up until 6:15. And today is Saturday.

This morning, like most mornings, I woke up thinking about work. How sad does that make my life? I've always tended to work out problems in my sleep, and sometimes I wake up with the perfect solution to my problem. Sometimes I wake up thinking that I have screwed something up (most of the time I have not).

This morning I work up thinking about how I am going to defend a particular client. I don't like my planned defense, but so far I haven't come up with anything better. If I'm going to be dreaming about work anyway, this would be a good time to come up with the perfect solution.

Can you revoke a birthday party invitation?

PS's birthday party is Saturday. We sent out invitations a week and a half ago and asked for a response by yesterday. Of the 9 girls invited, 5 have said yes, 2 have said no, and 2 don't know yet.

WTF? What do you mean you don't know yet? Either you're coming or you're not. This party is in TWO days. And I asked for a response by yesterday.

It's a scavenger-hunt-type race around town. We will load up the girls into our two cars and run them all over town while they accomplish the tasks required by their clues. I need to know how many kids are going to be there because if it is more than will fit in our cars, I will need to have the nanny stay home with the twins. But if only the 5 who have confirmed show up, then we can include the twins and divide into two teams of 4, which works out perfectly. Argh--I hate making the nanny hold open her Saturday because people can't make up their minds. Not to mention I'm trying to plan for enough food and party favors.