Bob is still a punk

We've cut off the booze, but Bob is still managing to find trouble.

Fortunately, for him, this is the remains of an arrangement that was given to me by my mother-in-law* that was truly hideous. It originally looked like a dead bird hidden in a bunch of leaves and cattails. No wonder Bob went for it--he is a bird dog. But now somebody's got some 'splainin to do to MIL.

*For the record, my MIL is on the awesome end of the MIL spectrum. And she usually has great taste--I'm not sure how she got off track with the dead-bird arrangement.

New Graduation Stress

So in addition to all the graduation, job-hunting, bar-taking stress, I have reasoned out that there is a decent chance that we will need to move in the somewhat near future. And that means selling our house.

Pulling numbers out of thin air, I think that there is about a 75% chance that I will find a job in Big City. Which of course means about a 25% chance that I will find a job somewhere that will require a move. But, even if I find a job in Big City, there is a good chance we will want to move. We are in the far east part of our metro area. If I find a position that is North or West of downtown, we will probably want to move closer. Even a downtown job will mean an hour commute--and I'm not sure that is something I can deal with.

So I am looking at my house with a new eye. It is a 4-year-old cookie-cutter spec home. We usually do a project or two a year to upgrade it. Now we will be looking specifically at projects that will increase the value or appeal, and delaying the ones that would really only benefit us. Still there is a lot to be done before we can think about putting it on the market.

The whole downstairs needs to be painted. (The builder used flat while. Flat white + three small kids = gross walls. I hate the white anyway.) It is an open floor plan, so there is a lot of wall to be covered and it will all have to be done at once. I have painted every other room in the house, but have avoided the downstairs open area because it is so overwhelming.

We need to replace the posts on the fence around the back yard. The builder used wooden posts which have warped, and many have started coming out of the ground because of the drought. Our yard is huge, so this is not a small task, but the neighbors offered to split the cost and work on the side fence.

We need to put a raised flower bed in the front yard to hide a sewer cleanout in the middle of the front yard. Again, due to to the drought the ground has sunk, making it very visible. I was actually planning on doing this project soon anyway, so I'm ok with it.

Oh, and he very best part of trying to sell a cookie-cutter spec home? An MLS search revealed 7 other homes exactly like ours that are currently on the market in our town. There is a $25K price difference in some of these, but I think the higher prices are deluded. We'll be lucky if we break even on our home.

Friggin' Hilarious

By the judge’s reasoning, any guy who gets aroused while wearing leather pants has – in the strictest legal terms – his wiener in a cow.

Actually, run-ins with law enforcement while getting it on with animals are more common than that one might think. There were a couple of such cases that had come through the DA's office I worked in. And rumor has it that one of my classmates in the criminal clinic had one of these, too. Of course, I don't think any of these involved dead animals--or leather pants.

Bite Me

I am fully recovered from my gum surgery, so I finally had a consult with the orthodontist today. What I had once naively believed would be a simple procedure to close the gap between my bottom teeth is going to be a much bigger ordeal. Part of the problem is that I have TMJ. I have known this for years, but every dentist I have ever mentioned the jaw clicking, locking and tensing to has blown me off. Anyway, the ortho. is taking me seriously, and its an issue because orthodontics can make TMJ either better or worse.

The other problem is that I am a clencher when I get tense and when I sleep. Clenching changes the bite. The ortho anticipates that I will be clenching a lot until the bar exam. So, I might just be going into a night guard to preserve my bite until after the bar, and then get into the serious orthodontics.

Oh yeah--and I will need jaw surgery. Because when the gap developed, my teeth also moved forward. When they are pushed back and the space is closed, I will have a massive overbite. And it can only be fixed with a surgery to move my jaw forward.

I would have been horrified by that part, but while I was in the waiting room, a monitor ran a slide show of before and after shots. It showed a guy who had had the jaw surgery and the impact on his profile was amazing. I hate my profile because my chin almost blends into my neck. This would make my chin more prominent, and the ortho said that his preferred surgeon could also take care of my hereditary double chin while he did it. (Even when I am really thin I have a double chin.)

I knew that my face had changed since I was younger--I though that it was just because I am a 20 pounds heavier. No, apparently it is all because of my bite changing. Who knew?

Hmmm, very interesting

I just got a (sort-of) unsolicited email asking me to forward my updated resume. It is from a DA's office in a big city. Not my big city, but one not too far away that I would consider moving to. The interesting part is that I applied for this position early last fall. I even had an interview with them. It did not go well. So I am surprised to be hearing from them again.

I will forward my resume, but I'm not sure that I really want that job. I like my city much better than that one. It would require uprooting the kids. DH would have to find employment there (but he is looking for new employment anyway). It is a DA's office, so there is not a lot of $$ on the table to make all the trouble worthwhile.

On the other hand, I really want to get in with a DA's office. This is a big one--there will definitely be room for growth and big cases. I have had several clerkships, and I loved working in the DA's office more than anything else I have done. And I need a job. Unemployment is stressful.

I guess we'll see what happens. In the meantime, I guess I better get my resume in the mail to the local DA's office.

Meet Bob

Bob likes beer.*

*Please note that no puppies were harmed by the taking of these pictures. The bottle was empty before Bob found it, and was removed as soon as the the pics were taken.

I'm Ba-aack

The beach was great and very relaxing. It was nice to take a few days and not even think about school or the bar or finding a job. Our house was 500 feet from the beach. It was on the smallest part of the island that was only accessible to residents, so we had the beach mostly to ourselves. The very best part was watching the kids enjoy the beach for the first time. It was really too cool to swim, but that didn't keep my little wharf rats out of the water. 5 y.o. DD kept running into the surf screaming, "This is the life!" Even sulky, moody 8 y.o. was genuinely happy on the beach, which is something we don't see often these days.

And because I know that you want to see someone else's vacation pictures, here is the island that we stayed on taken from the ferry that we took from the mainland.

And the kiddos playing on the beach.

This is the roots of a tree that was pulled up by a hurricane.

And the other side...

Happy Spring Break

Yea! Spring Break has finally started--at least for me, DH and the kiddos have work and school today. I am doing laundry and packing because we leave first thing in the morning.

Packing for 5 people for 5 days is a lot of work. Last spring break, we anticipated warm weather and were met with very cool nights and mornings. I had not packed at all for cool weather--we had to go out and buy the kids warmer clothes. And in the nearest town to our cabin our choices were Dollar General and Wal-Mart. They ended up with boys football sweatsuits that had been discounted to $3/pair.

I have learned from my mistakes and am packing for all weather (and closely monitoring weather.com), but that takes a lot of space. Also, since we have rented a beach house, we need all those little daily things, like dishwashing detergent and paper towels. And beach toys. And fishing tackle. And entertainment for the car. At some point we will need to stop and buy groceries. The Behemoth is going to be bursting at the seams.

Happy Spring Break to everybody--and don't expect to see anything from me over the next few days--the beach house doesn't have internet access.

Spring Fever

I am having so much trouble settling down and getting my work done this week. I am so psyched about Spring Break. One week from today I will be sitting on the beach with a frosty beverage. I think the spring fever is compounded by senioritis. Feels a lot like high school. I just want to get done and get out. But of course, its not nearly as exciting as high school because I have the whole bar/bri-is-ruining-my -summer-plus-if-I-don't-pass-the-bar-and-get-a-job-my-life-is-over thing going on.

But right at this moment, I am managing to push that all aside and focus on my upcoming vacation. Hopefully this much-needed break will let me settle in and focus for the rest of the semester. Now, if I can just make it through the next two classes without making it painfully obvious that I spent my day making my packing list instead of reading.

I'm so disappointed

I found out today that my grades are high enough to graduate with honors. But I can't, because I'm a transfer student. It just sucks. I totally blew off school in undergrad (which is why I got stuck in a T4 to begin with), and I am proud of the way that I have worked my ass of in law school. I guess jumping from a T4 to a T1 school should be reward enough, but it would have been really sweet to graduate with honors.

No Matter Where You Go, You Just Can't Escape Scrotums

A legislator in Maryland is trying to ban plastic balls that rednecks are hanging from the trailer hitches of their trucks. The seller of these delightful wares doesn't see the problem, responding to the Washington Post, "Did all the little donkeys and sheep walk around with their panties on so children wouldn't see their bodies?" Cause, ya know, donkey balls are totally the same as truck balls.

Boy, am I glad that I've already had the scrotum discussion with my girls. (Although I don't think we ever covered truck balls.)

P.S.

I hope that Washington Post link doesn't require you to register, because I hate having to register to read one article. If registration is required, you might want to look at BugMeNot , to get around that pesky registration process.

Little Brothers are Buttheads (even when they are grown)

Apparently my brother is now screening my calls. We had a little tiff about a month ago, but I really thought he would be over it by now. Apparently not.

I had off-handedly mentioned that we were considering taking the kids to Disney for spring break if we could manage the finances. BB (Brother Butthead) said that he really wanted to take his kids too since they should be getting a good tax refund this year, and hey, wouldn't it be great if we could go together. I said, sure that might be fun, we'll talk more later.

The next day he sends DH this long detailed email about how we will rent a 12 passenger van, and take turns driving so we can make it in one day, and oh yeah, we can also make a stop along the way to visit his wife's family.

That is when I knew that this wasn't gonna work. The idea of 14 hours in a van with 7 kids screams anything but vacation. (Can you imagine how many potty stops that would be?) I didn't want a van, I wanted my big comfy computer-climate controlled, HD-stereo having behemoth Suburban to drive. I did not want to do 14 hours in a stretch, I wanted to split it over 2 days and take the time to enjoy the little stops along the way. And I sure as hell didn't want to waste one day of my vacation visiting my brother's in-laws.

So I told him, as gently as possible, that his vision of a vacation did not mesh with our vision of a vacation. And he blew up. He said it was because we though they weren't good enough for us and we just didn't want to spend time with them. Eventually it came out that their own vehicle wasn't reliable enough to make the trip and they couldn't go without us to split the cost of the van and presumably a hotel room (did I forget the part about fudging occupancy numbers and bringing sleeping bags?). Seriously, could we get any more Griswold. We just need to tie my dead grandma to the roof of that van.

The real problem is that while my brother and I stem from the same white trash roots, I have managed to pull myself out and he never has. They never seem to be able to make ends meet--never find a way to get out of the crappy house in the bad part of town or keep their phone hooked up and their vehicles running. And it's their own fault. My brother put himself through school and got a teaching degree. He is half way through a master's, but has changed his degree plan three times. He should be able to live a better life than he does.

It's to the point that I don't want to share anything with him. My going to law school, or buying a house, or a new care are all insults to him. They are the things I have accomplished that he has not. And apparently my mention of Disney was salt in the wounds--and if I didn't want to go with him, it was because I was better than him. I guess he didn't consider that I would be spending my money and my precious time and should have some input into my vacation (not to mention DH, who immediately nixed this plan.)

Oh, and the real irony... we aren't going to Disney, either. We decided it was just to expensive, with all of my bar expenses coming up (mostly paying for full-time childcare when I'm not working). But of course I can't tell BB that, because he won't take my damn calls.

Just Nerds Breeding Nerds

I'll admit I'm just a big ol' nerd. I think that the majority of law students are. I'm ok with that. But I seem to be turning my children into nerds, too. (But I'm also ok with that--I think that nerds get into less trouble in the teenage years.) Not extreme nerdiness--they have the right clothes and shoes, they still love cartoons and video games, and you can't see the geekiness just by looking at them--but if you spend any amount of time with them, you will start to notice the nerdiness.

In preparation for our Spring Break Trip, I took the kids to the library. When I stayed home with the kids we went to the library every week from the time they were infants--these days the trips are less frequent, but there is never a shortage of books in our house. So anyway, we went in search of books about the state we are visiting, the ocean, fishing and Pompeii (since there is a travelling museum exhibit in the city near where we are staying.) DH points out that it is extremely nerdy to turn every vacation into a learning experience. My thoughts are the best way to learn is by experience, and I might as well teach the kids about something while they are interested in it.

Last night one 5 y.o. went to bed reading about Pompeii, and the other reading about an Ice-mummy (totally unrelated to anything else, but we found the book near the Pompeii books and the kids thought it looked cool.)

We are also reading up on fishing. (Yet another example of our extreme nerdiness.) We girls have never fished. DH used to go fly-fishing w/ his dad, but he has never salt-water fished. 8 y.o. has already read one of the fishing books, and made a list of everything we needed to buy when we went to Ginormous Sporting Goods Store.

So, yeah, we are nerds. But hopefully we will be nerds of the well-rounded, well-educated variety.

Why does finding out that a book is banned always make be want to go read it.

I was reading this article in Oil & Gas, which was making it awfully hard to keep a straight face. (And believe it or not, Oil & Gas is not funny.)

Anyway, the article is about the children's book The Higher Power of Lucky , and the fact that the book--OMG--contains the word "scrotum". And apparently there is a select group of librarians who think that scrotum is a bad word and that kids aren't allowed to knw the meaning of it.

I generally think that banning books is a bad idea. First, I think that parents should monitor what their children read--not the library, the school or the state. Second, I don't think I'm the only one who wants to read a book just because its been labeled "banned." Third, the reasons books get banned are usually for stupid reasons made up by short-sighted closed-minded people. This book appears to be just such a case (with the caveat that I haven't read it myself, only read a few articles.) WTH is wrong with "scrotum?" It's a body part--kids need to learn about body parts. Even the ones that might make us grown-ups a little uncomfortable.

Case in point, on our last vacation we took the kids to see BodyWorlds (which probably makes these book-banners think I'm a bad mom anyway, but that's for another day. It was educational, they wanted to go, we went.) Many of the exhibits were male, and about half and hour in, my five-year-old asked, "hey, what are those things hanging down that look like balls?" I managed to stifle my giggles and gave her an explanation just as I had the exhibits on hearts, lungs and gallbladders. My point it, you have to talk about scrotums sometime.

Spring Fever

I just realized that Spring Break is only three weeks away, so I have been spending a lot of my newly found free time researching someplace to get away. I pulled up a US map and looked at what was w/in a day's drive. I realized that there were decent beaches not as far away as I thought, so I have rented a beach cottage for Spring Break.

Woohoo, I am so excited--I have never had a beach cottage before. I have only had a couple of very short beach trips in my life. This place is supposed to be quiet and secluded, perfect for relaxing, which is what I need right now.

The only problem is that all my researching of our vacation spot has left me totally in vacation mode and unable to settle down and focus on school work.

Must. go. read.

P.S. Just got an updated Wills & Trusts assignment. We are to read Anna Nicole's will. At least that should hold my interest more than the creation of fee tails.

So I guess I won't be hunting after all.

I had the meeting with Big Boss. He informed me that he wasn't planning to expand any further at this time. I informed him (very politely) that since that was the case, I was going to have to go clerk somehwere that was looking to expand. He did not seem to really care--probably because he has seen me about two times the entire time I have worked there.

The attorney's I have been working with weren't happy. I don't think they were upset with me as much a Big Boss. They are buried, need help, and know I do a good job. Expletives were uttered, but both (without my even asking) assured me that they would give me excellent references.

Honestly, I am relieved that don't have to balance work and school anymore. It was almost more than I could handle and my stress level was increasing exponentially by the day. I have free time again. (And by free time, I mean that I can clean my house and do my laundry.) I was able to spend this weekend hanging out with the kids instead of trying to do all of my reading for the week because I didn't have time during the week. (Yes, even as a 3L I am still reading--probably only because I don't have a job.)

My only frustration is that I am back to square one on the job hunt. I am not overly stressed yet, but I would like to not have the stress of being unemployed when I take the bar.

The kind of lawyer you don't want to be

The Sexual Consent Attorney.

You eat what you kill

I met with the attorney who hired me yesterday to get a new batch of assignments. He asked if how I was doing and if I liked it there. Since I have been intending to sniff out whether I have a shot at a permanent position, I told him that I was in the middle of the great 3L job hunt and that the primary reason I was there was to secure permanent employment. Then I asked if hiring me was on Big Boss's radar.

I was told that I was definitely on the radar and that I needed to make an appt w/ Big Boss to discuss further. Then I was warned that Big Boss pays his employees differently than any other firm; hence, "you eat what you kill". It sounds like what you earn is essentially commission based.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. There is definitely the potential for big $$. But I will have some serious student loan obligations, and it could take years to get my first settlement/judgment. I would definitely have to get a decent base for such an arrangement to be feasible. It's all speculation at this point anyway--I guess I need to set up the meeting w/ Big Boss before I do too much worrying.

I love her, but do I have to like her?

My 8 y.o. DD has become increasingly unpleasant to be around. She is sulky and moody and treats her Dad and me like we are complete idiots. I thought we had at least 3-4 years before we had to contend with this kind of behavior. Even her 5 y.o. sister commented today, "C. just whines and complains all the time." I truly do not know what to do about it.

I have always felt a special bond with my oldest DD--she was an only child for almost three years and always seemed to need me in a way the twins never did (after all, they have had each other since before they were even born). Now I feel like all I do is yell at her for her bad attitude. Even when we try to do something nice for her, she turns around and acts like an ungrateful brat.

I'm afraid that I have given the kids a little too much slack in making up for mommy going to law school. I was pretty strict as a SAHM and not one to give into the material demands of my children. While I am still on the stricter end of the parenting scale, I give in more on the smaller battles. And now my 8 y.o. (who never threw a tantrum in store as a toddler) thinks that she can pout and sulk everytime she doesn't get her way. (e.g. When DD was told that we needed to go to the grocery store on Saturday, her reply was "What do I get out of it?" Ummm, lets see, you get food to eat, and you don't have to stay home and do chores.) Arrghhh. I just want my sweet little girl back.

It's not so bad, really

I have this gap between my bottom front teeth. It began during my pregnancy with the twins (that whole story is a nightmare which maybe I will blog about some day, but for background, I was hospitalized most of the first 5 months because I literally could not keep anything down. I lost 30 lbs., my hair started falling out and my teeth became loose. My docs told me to consider terminating before I starved to death). Anyway, the twins are 5 now,and I am really self-conscious about the gap. I wanted orthodontics, but I was told that my gums would have to be strengthened first.

So, yesterday I had gum surgery. They grafted tissue they scraped from the roof of my mouth to my bottom front gums, and on my back right pulled back the gums to remove bacteria and other yucky stuff back there. Now I have stitches in the front and back of my mouth and a plastic stint that covers the entire roof of my mouth.

It sounds awful, and believe me I was terrified, but one day out it's not so bad. I took Vicoden last night and kept an ice pack on my face and that managed the pain well. This morning I am going to see if I can make it w/o drugs--I need to get some reading done and I don't like taking unnecessary meds.

The worst is that I have to keep this stint in for two weeks. Oh, and I can't eat anything that I have to bite for two weeks. That will be fun, since I eat on the road more often than at home, but I am going to consider it my new diet plan. Maybe I'll get straight teeth and a slimmer figure from this whole ordeal.