So I finally had my endoscopy. I have esophageal ulcers and a smallish hiatal hernia. I feel so validated, finally having a diagnosis. But apparently esophageal ulcers are somewhat rare and often caused by over-consumption of alcohol. So now I'm afraid my docs will think I'm a lush. Great, since I have a couple of drinks a couple of times a month and I've only been drunk enough for a hangover twice in my entire life.
So the doc is changing up my meds and there may be another invasive procedure and possibly surgery in the future. Yay.
In other news, we've been busy, busy, busy, with spring sports now in full swing. We have a meeting or practice or event every night of the week. I'm so ready for the summer slowdown. Last night we ended up with a rare family night together. Usually the kids are going in three different directions. But PS has to see a live show for her theater class by next week and we were planning to go on Saturday while the twins were at a Girl Scout event, but the show was sold out on Saturday so she bailed on robotics on Friday and we all went together.
We we went to our favorite tiny theater to see a "popcorn-throwing melodrama." We've taken PS before, but never SS and TT (sometimes the shows aren't kid appropriate), who thought any place where you get to throw popcorn and not get in trouble is pretty much the awesomest place ever. We were seated literally 1 foot from the stage and had great fun. (One of the actors gave us a thumbs up after one of the kids landed a piece of popcorn in his mouth--yes this is not only allowed, it is encouraged.) It was the first time in a while we all got to hang together as a family, with nobody whining about being bored or wishing she were somewhere else. These days are becoming increasingly rare, with the kids' social calendars getting fuller by the year.
4/6/13
4/1/13
PS
Sooooo, PS did pass her geometry test. Not exactly with flying colors, but by enough to bring her overall grade to passing. Of course, passing isn't exactly the standard of success in our house, so she is still under restrictions until she has at least a B. But as long as she passes this grading period, she will be able to go to the robotics finals in St. Louis. (She still has to toe the line, another bad grade will sink her.)
At least we now have a plan and a tutor in place who can help her out the rest of the year. And she hopefully now realizes that she has to focus a little more on math and a little less on robotics.
At least we now have a plan and a tutor in place who can help her out the rest of the year. And she hopefully now realizes that she has to focus a little more on math and a little less on robotics.
3/31/13
Awkward
I'm in Hometown for the holiday and to finally probate MIL's estate. Yesterday the girls and I went to lunch with my mother at this tiny dive with awesome burgers on the most delicious homemade buns I've ever eaten.
Apparently my mother and stepdad are in there nearly every day and everybody knows them. My mother introduced our waitress as the lady who also cleans their house.
And then the waitress said, "you look really familiar, did you go to school here?"
It turns out that we went to high school together. We weren't friends, and I only vaguely remembered her, although she seemed to have a better recollection of me.
She asked where I was living and what I was doing. I tried to dodge the question the first time, but she asked again, more pointedly.
Never have I wanted less to admit that I am a lawyer--especially a Big City lawyer. It just felt like bragging. And went I finally 'fessed up, she said, "That's great. I'm just a waitress." How do you respond to that? I said something lame that I can't fully recall.
I went to a disadvantaged high school. Lower socioeconomic status. A lot of gangs and fighting. A lot of teen pregnancy. Not a lot of parent involvement. I'm in the minority of kids who went on to college, and certainly who now have grad degrees. And while I worked hard to pull myself out of that situation and make a better life, I am also very lucky to have been blessed with brains, which made it a whole lot easier.
It was just a totally awkward situation.
And now for an Easter funny:
Last night SIL asked my adorable 3-year-old nephew if he wanted to dye eggs. He got a horrified look on his face and said, with much disgust, "Why? Why do we want to die the eggs?"
Apparently my mother and stepdad are in there nearly every day and everybody knows them. My mother introduced our waitress as the lady who also cleans their house.
And then the waitress said, "you look really familiar, did you go to school here?"
It turns out that we went to high school together. We weren't friends, and I only vaguely remembered her, although she seemed to have a better recollection of me.
She asked where I was living and what I was doing. I tried to dodge the question the first time, but she asked again, more pointedly.
Never have I wanted less to admit that I am a lawyer--especially a Big City lawyer. It just felt like bragging. And went I finally 'fessed up, she said, "That's great. I'm just a waitress." How do you respond to that? I said something lame that I can't fully recall.
I went to a disadvantaged high school. Lower socioeconomic status. A lot of gangs and fighting. A lot of teen pregnancy. Not a lot of parent involvement. I'm in the minority of kids who went on to college, and certainly who now have grad degrees. And while I worked hard to pull myself out of that situation and make a better life, I am also very lucky to have been blessed with brains, which made it a whole lot easier.
It was just a totally awkward situation.
And now for an Easter funny:
Last night SIL asked my adorable 3-year-old nephew if he wanted to dye eggs. He got a horrified look on his face and said, with much disgust, "Why? Why do we want to die the eggs?"
3/28/13
Advice for Young Lawyers: Quality over Quantity
I am working on a response to a 12(b)(6) motion. I rolled my eyes a bit because the author of the motion cited more than two dozen cases over about 5 pages. Not string cites, either. A new case for nearly every.single.sentence. Really, you couldn't find a single case that supported more than one point in the same paragraph? Id is your friend.
But my irritation at having to pull and read all those cases was quickly squelched when I read the very first case she cited. She completely misstated the holding of the case--asserting that it holds the opposite of what it really does! Clearly the Author was so busy throwing as much authority as possible at her point that she didn't bother to thoroughly read her cases. She picked out the good nuggets and ignored the rest.
Not only does this give me ammo that destroys her arguments, but it's also all the ammo I need for my own argument. I have my ace-in-the-whole case, and the other side handed it over on a silver platter.
This isn't the first time another party gave me good authority because they didn't thoroughly analyze their cases, but it is the most dramatic. Read you cases!
And really, a handful of solid cases is all you need to support any given argument. It's ok to cite a case more than once. Really.
But my irritation at having to pull and read all those cases was quickly squelched when I read the very first case she cited. She completely misstated the holding of the case--asserting that it holds the opposite of what it really does! Clearly the Author was so busy throwing as much authority as possible at her point that she didn't bother to thoroughly read her cases. She picked out the good nuggets and ignored the rest.
Not only does this give me ammo that destroys her arguments, but it's also all the ammo I need for my own argument. I have my ace-in-the-whole case, and the other side handed it over on a silver platter.
This isn't the first time another party gave me good authority because they didn't thoroughly analyze their cases, but it is the most dramatic. Read you cases!
And really, a handful of solid cases is all you need to support any given argument. It's ok to cite a case more than once. Really.
3/23/13
Sometimes Being a Parent Sucks
...And Sometimes it is Awesome
The Suck
It came to our attention late Tuesday that PS, my formerly straight A student, is failing geometry. She has struggled with geometry all year, but always managed at least a B when push came to shove.
She really bombed a test a couple of weeks ago. But so did everyone else, so we didn't worry too much. (We can see class averages and medians in the gradebook, plus PS has some insight on how her friends do.) But then she bombed the retake. And then she bombed two quizzes. And so things were looking really bad.
There is another test next week that could be a grade changer (tests count 60%, homework and quizzes 30%). But PS had a robotics competition Thursday - Saturday which would mean missing 2 days of school immediately before this test.
So what kind of parent lets their kid go to a robotics competition and miss two days of school when she is failing a class and has an upcoming exam in that class?
I emailed PS's teacher about what she would be missing and how detrimental it would be. She said there was a quiz that day that would be a good predictor of PS's success on the test.
And then on Wednesday we learned that PS failed that quiz, too.
And so we were left deciding whether to make her go to school and miss the one thing that she has been working on relentlessly for three months, or make her suffer the consequences of her grades.*
DH and I went back and forth. It seemed appropriate to make her miss the competition. She has spent a lot of energy on robotics and not so much on math. But on the other hand, she has worked really, really hard at robotics.
In the end, we let her go to the robotics competition. We weren't sure if it was the best decision, but it seemed unfair to take it away from her with so little notice. We also set forth a strict set of consequences and rules that she must follow until she is passing all classes again. And I hired a tutor for an intense session tomorrow and then weekly for however long she needs it. And one of the upperclassmen in robotics is going to tutor her during school.
And the Awesome
And now, we are so glad we let her go. On Friday one of the team's mentors came up to us and said, "Are you PS's parents? She is phenomenal." Yes, yes she is.
DH and PS have worked hard to put together the team's website and PS has been filming their competitions and practices and editing video to put on the website. And on Friday night we made trading cards with a QR code leading to their website, which the rest of the team was amazed by.
And today her team won the regionals and now are heading to the world championships in St. Louis next month! It was such a great weekend for her team and I'm so glad she got to be part of it.
Of course, she will not be going to the world championships if she doesn't pass geometry. But I think we have a good plan in place, and hopefully, with the help of the tutor she will rock her test next week.
I hated the idea of making her miss her competition, but I also don't want to be the mom who is afraid to parent when the going gets tough. And she is a genuinely good kid who works really hard. Hopefully we made the right decision and it will all work out ok. Because I really, really don't want to tell her that she can't go to the world championships because of her grades. But at least she already knows that consequence is on the table, which should be a good motivator.
*She wasn't automatically precluded because these grades haven't been reflected on a progress report or report card. Also, Pre-Ap classes are inexplicably excluded from the no pass-no play rule.
The Suck
It came to our attention late Tuesday that PS, my formerly straight A student, is failing geometry. She has struggled with geometry all year, but always managed at least a B when push came to shove.
She really bombed a test a couple of weeks ago. But so did everyone else, so we didn't worry too much. (We can see class averages and medians in the gradebook, plus PS has some insight on how her friends do.) But then she bombed the retake. And then she bombed two quizzes. And so things were looking really bad.
There is another test next week that could be a grade changer (tests count 60%, homework and quizzes 30%). But PS had a robotics competition Thursday - Saturday which would mean missing 2 days of school immediately before this test.
So what kind of parent lets their kid go to a robotics competition and miss two days of school when she is failing a class and has an upcoming exam in that class?
I emailed PS's teacher about what she would be missing and how detrimental it would be. She said there was a quiz that day that would be a good predictor of PS's success on the test.
And then on Wednesday we learned that PS failed that quiz, too.
And so we were left deciding whether to make her go to school and miss the one thing that she has been working on relentlessly for three months, or make her suffer the consequences of her grades.*
DH and I went back and forth. It seemed appropriate to make her miss the competition. She has spent a lot of energy on robotics and not so much on math. But on the other hand, she has worked really, really hard at robotics.
In the end, we let her go to the robotics competition. We weren't sure if it was the best decision, but it seemed unfair to take it away from her with so little notice. We also set forth a strict set of consequences and rules that she must follow until she is passing all classes again. And I hired a tutor for an intense session tomorrow and then weekly for however long she needs it. And one of the upperclassmen in robotics is going to tutor her during school.
And the Awesome
And now, we are so glad we let her go. On Friday one of the team's mentors came up to us and said, "Are you PS's parents? She is phenomenal." Yes, yes she is.
DH and PS have worked hard to put together the team's website and PS has been filming their competitions and practices and editing video to put on the website. And on Friday night we made trading cards with a QR code leading to their website, which the rest of the team was amazed by.
And today her team won the regionals and now are heading to the world championships in St. Louis next month! It was such a great weekend for her team and I'm so glad she got to be part of it.
Of course, she will not be going to the world championships if she doesn't pass geometry. But I think we have a good plan in place, and hopefully, with the help of the tutor she will rock her test next week.
I hated the idea of making her miss her competition, but I also don't want to be the mom who is afraid to parent when the going gets tough. And she is a genuinely good kid who works really hard. Hopefully we made the right decision and it will all work out ok. Because I really, really don't want to tell her that she can't go to the world championships because of her grades. But at least she already knows that consequence is on the table, which should be a good motivator.
*She wasn't automatically precluded because these grades haven't been reflected on a progress report or report card. Also, Pre-Ap classes are inexplicably excluded from the no pass-no play rule.
3/15/13
Shopping!
So, we have been on a money diet for the past several weeks. We just kinda suck at budgeting, and I have been growing more concerned about the kids' rising expenses and paying for college, and we just decided that it was time to have a reboot of our finances. (You think it will get better once you get past diapers and formula and daycare. Ha! All that money and more goes to classes and camps and lessons and school trips and yearbooks and club dues and about a million other things.) Anyway, we have strictly limited our spending and have been putting big money toward debt reduction and savings. It hasn't been so bad, but there hasn't been much shopping lately.
But we are about to get DH's bonus money, and have allocated a nice chunk of that for mattresses. We are in desperate, desperate need of new mattresses, and have decided to upgrade from queen to king. We spent a good part of last weekend playing Goldilocks, trying this one and that one. I think mattress shopping is one of the more awkward shopping experiences--lying bed in the middle of a store while random strangers saunter by. We've narrowed it down to two, both oh so plush and comfy, with a $500 difference between them.
And then, the real fun. Since we are upgrading the size of our mattress, we need all new bedding, too. I had a pretty good idea of what a mattress would cost, but I didn't even consider how much new bedding would cost. There is a hefty price jump in king sized linens. And there is also the matter of an actual bed. We haven't figured that one out yet. So much for the money diet.
And we need to repaint our bedroom. I've been tired of our current sage green for a while--but I don't really know what I want to do next. I guess it depends on the bedding.
So mattress shopping has turned into bedding shopping, which has turned into paint color shopping, and also involves headboard shopping, which has all reminded me that I don't really like shopping that much to begin with. But it will be nice to have a fresh new super-comfy bedroom.
But we are about to get DH's bonus money, and have allocated a nice chunk of that for mattresses. We are in desperate, desperate need of new mattresses, and have decided to upgrade from queen to king. We spent a good part of last weekend playing Goldilocks, trying this one and that one. I think mattress shopping is one of the more awkward shopping experiences--lying bed in the middle of a store while random strangers saunter by. We've narrowed it down to two, both oh so plush and comfy, with a $500 difference between them.
And then, the real fun. Since we are upgrading the size of our mattress, we need all new bedding, too. I had a pretty good idea of what a mattress would cost, but I didn't even consider how much new bedding would cost. There is a hefty price jump in king sized linens. And there is also the matter of an actual bed. We haven't figured that one out yet. So much for the money diet.
And we need to repaint our bedroom. I've been tired of our current sage green for a while--but I don't really know what I want to do next. I guess it depends on the bedding.
So mattress shopping has turned into bedding shopping, which has turned into paint color shopping, and also involves headboard shopping, which has all reminded me that I don't really like shopping that much to begin with. But it will be nice to have a fresh new super-comfy bedroom.
3/9/13
Good Week
It has been a good week, professionally. I finally got a long-awaited decision in my favor on a complex multi-state procedural issue that I briefed back in December. Woot!
On the same day, I mediated a 3-year-old case with my very first client (that I brought in myself and whose 7-figure case I handled completely by myself) and got a great result. But the best part is that the mediator, one of the other attorneys, and another party's insurance adjuster were very complimentary of me. The mediator said, in front of the other parties and their lawyers, "she is the only attorney who showed up today." Double woot!
In other news, work is very busy right now. I have some kind of major event to prepare for every week for the rest of this month, plus a bunch of smaller fires that are turning out to be huge time sucks. I'm not sure how I'm going to fit it all in.
And then, even with everything else on my plate, I left early on Friday because I have a cold and was feeling pretty crappy. I went to take a nap at 3:00 and didn't budge until 6:15 when the twins awakened me to take them to Girl Scouts. I never sleep like that!
Feeling a bit better today. I have a lot to do, but at least I can do it in my PJ's from my sofa.
And in case you are wondering about the robotics competition, they performed much better on Saturday and made it to the finals. Unfortunately, the drew the #1 team in both rounds of the semi-finals and got knocked out. (That team was so good, there was no chance of beating it.) They've got another shot in a couple of weeks, so hopefully they will have all the kinks worked out by then and will make it to nationals.
On the same day, I mediated a 3-year-old case with my very first client (that I brought in myself and whose 7-figure case I handled completely by myself) and got a great result. But the best part is that the mediator, one of the other attorneys, and another party's insurance adjuster were very complimentary of me. The mediator said, in front of the other parties and their lawyers, "she is the only attorney who showed up today." Double woot!
In other news, work is very busy right now. I have some kind of major event to prepare for every week for the rest of this month, plus a bunch of smaller fires that are turning out to be huge time sucks. I'm not sure how I'm going to fit it all in.
And then, even with everything else on my plate, I left early on Friday because I have a cold and was feeling pretty crappy. I went to take a nap at 3:00 and didn't budge until 6:15 when the twins awakened me to take them to Girl Scouts. I never sleep like that!
Feeling a bit better today. I have a lot to do, but at least I can do it in my PJ's from my sofa.
And in case you are wondering about the robotics competition, they performed much better on Saturday and made it to the finals. Unfortunately, the drew the #1 team in both rounds of the semi-finals and got knocked out. (That team was so good, there was no chance of beating it.) They've got another shot in a couple of weeks, so hopefully they will have all the kinks worked out by then and will make it to nationals.
3/2/13
Nerd Convention
We're spending the weekend at PS's robotics competition. It has been so much fun, ans it is so amazing to see not only what these kids can create, but also, how many different ideas and designs all of the teams have come up with to accomplish the same task.
They have all had just a few weeks to design, build and program a robot that can throw frisbees into targets (both autonomously and with user-control) and then to climb a pyramid-shaped pole frame that is about 10 feet high. These robots weigh over 120 pounds, so climbing is a major risk because if the robot falls it is likely destroyed. Just one team managed to climb all the way to the top, and it was amazing (yeah, I know I keep using that word) to watch.
Only 3 kids from their 40ish person team are allowed on the field, but PS managed to score a super-special press pass, so she also gets to go down there to film. DH helped her set up the team website, so she has taken off with that and gained a lot of cred with her team (especially for a freshman). She's also been filming their practices and editing video for the site. She's done a great job, and I'm so glad that her work has paid off by letting her get closer to the action.
We're also getting to see lots of family this weekend. The competition is just a couple hours from hometown, so DH's dad came down. Because we live so far from family, the kids never have grandparents at their events, so this is kind of cool. And DH's nephew has a baseball tournament here this weekend, so we've been able to spend some time with them and let the kids get some cousin time. And my aunt is coming down today. PS will have quite the cheering squad.
Today we have the last rounds of qualifying matches and then finals. It's not looking great for PS's team. Their robot is one of the better ones when it works, but they have had some unfortunate technical glitches. And there are two teams here that are far above the rest. The good news is that we signed up for another regional competition in a few weeks, so we should have some time to figure out the problems. ( This team made it to nationals last year, so the kids have high expectations for themselves.)
They have all had just a few weeks to design, build and program a robot that can throw frisbees into targets (both autonomously and with user-control) and then to climb a pyramid-shaped pole frame that is about 10 feet high. These robots weigh over 120 pounds, so climbing is a major risk because if the robot falls it is likely destroyed. Just one team managed to climb all the way to the top, and it was amazing (yeah, I know I keep using that word) to watch.
Only 3 kids from their 40ish person team are allowed on the field, but PS managed to score a super-special press pass, so she also gets to go down there to film. DH helped her set up the team website, so she has taken off with that and gained a lot of cred with her team (especially for a freshman). She's also been filming their practices and editing video for the site. She's done a great job, and I'm so glad that her work has paid off by letting her get closer to the action.
We're also getting to see lots of family this weekend. The competition is just a couple hours from hometown, so DH's dad came down. Because we live so far from family, the kids never have grandparents at their events, so this is kind of cool. And DH's nephew has a baseball tournament here this weekend, so we've been able to spend some time with them and let the kids get some cousin time. And my aunt is coming down today. PS will have quite the cheering squad.
Today we have the last rounds of qualifying matches and then finals. It's not looking great for PS's team. Their robot is one of the better ones when it works, but they have had some unfortunate technical glitches. And there are two teams here that are far above the rest. The good news is that we signed up for another regional competition in a few weeks, so we should have some time to figure out the problems. ( This team made it to nationals last year, so the kids have high expectations for themselves.)
2/20/13
Litigious Lawyering
Sitting at the airport at the end of a very long three days. I met my client here on Monday for depo prep, and spent the last two days in depositions. There was an unbelievable amount of drama leading up to these depositions because one attorney refused to produce his clien after agreeing to these dates long ago (and after I had to jump through hoops and set a hearing to even get dates in the first place).
But two of the three noticed depos went forward and I got a certificate of nonappearance for the third. There will be a motion for sanctions, among other things, as soon as I return. The whole ordeal was just unnecessarily contentious--at least before we all sat down in the same room.
And then OC told me today that I was nothing like what he had pictured before meeting me. I guess he was expecting an ogre. And after we were done, I had lunch with another OC and we worked through a lot. It went really well.
Hopefully, this weeks's events will help move us to resolution. If not, there is sure to be a lot more drama. But I do think the in-person meetings were helpful to understanding one another's personalities. Sometimes this electronic era is not what's best for our clients.
But two of the three noticed depos went forward and I got a certificate of nonappearance for the third. There will be a motion for sanctions, among other things, as soon as I return. The whole ordeal was just unnecessarily contentious--at least before we all sat down in the same room.
And then OC told me today that I was nothing like what he had pictured before meeting me. I guess he was expecting an ogre. And after we were done, I had lunch with another OC and we worked through a lot. It went really well.
Hopefully, this weeks's events will help move us to resolution. If not, there is sure to be a lot more drama. But I do think the in-person meetings were helpful to understanding one another's personalities. Sometimes this electronic era is not what's best for our clients.
2/16/13
Terrified
PS went to the movies with a friend tonight. A perfectly normal thing for a teenager to do, in our sleepy suburban city with few other options. We sent her off and told her to have fun and text us when the movie was out if we needed to pick up. So, thank god, out phones were nearby when this text came in:
OMG. DH and I both went flying out the door, and I broke many traffic laws heading to the theater. DH called PS on the car bluetooth so we could both hear. She was fine. It all happened while they were in the movie and they didn't even know anything until they came out.
But still, I sobbed all the way there and most of the way home. I don't even want to imagine a scarier text.
And these things don't happen here. I don't live in Big City. I live in a tiny suburb with virtually no crime. Until last spring, there had only been two murders here in recorded history. And then one of PS's classmates was killed by her mother's boyfriend. And now this. (We don't know the condition of the victims.)
I don't ever want to let my children leave the house again. I try not to be an over-reactor. I tend to rely on statistics to convince myself that my children will be safe when I send them out into the world. But this was too, too close. A few minutes' difference, some changed circumstance--who knows what might have happened?
Movie's out. Apparently two people for shot in the parking lot. There are ambulances and police cars and helicopters.
OMG. DH and I both went flying out the door, and I broke many traffic laws heading to the theater. DH called PS on the car bluetooth so we could both hear. She was fine. It all happened while they were in the movie and they didn't even know anything until they came out.
But still, I sobbed all the way there and most of the way home. I don't even want to imagine a scarier text.
And these things don't happen here. I don't live in Big City. I live in a tiny suburb with virtually no crime. Until last spring, there had only been two murders here in recorded history. And then one of PS's classmates was killed by her mother's boyfriend. And now this. (We don't know the condition of the victims.)
I don't ever want to let my children leave the house again. I try not to be an over-reactor. I tend to rely on statistics to convince myself that my children will be safe when I send them out into the world. But this was too, too close. A few minutes' difference, some changed circumstance--who knows what might have happened?
2/11/13
Grumpy and Whining
My doctor love has seriously faded. I met with the gastro today. Yes, I need the scope, blah, blah, blah. Losing 15 pounds or so would probably help, too. (Thanks. As if I didn't know that.) I may be within the small percentage of people for whom surgery is recommended because of the long-term effects of the acid reducers on my bone density. We'll just have to see what it looks like in there. And we can schedule the scope as soon as I'm ready and have pre-paid it (because I haven't met the deductible on my crappy insurance). Yay. SS gets her braces this week. I was so looking forward to writing another big check.
Not 15 minutes after I got back to my office, the new GP called with my lab results. No stomach-ulcer causing bacteria. But my cholesterol was high and my Vitamin D is low (and one of the only places to get Vitamin D is in milk and milk is full of cholesterol--WTF?) Doc is putting me on a prescription megadose of the D.
So I'm feeling like a fat ass whose problems would all be solved if I weren't such a fat ass. And then Girl Scout cookies came in today. Yes, I'm a fat ass with 150 boxes of cookies in my dining room. FML.
Not 15 minutes after I got back to my office, the new GP called with my lab results. No stomach-ulcer causing bacteria. But my cholesterol was high and my Vitamin D is low (and one of the only places to get Vitamin D is in milk and milk is full of cholesterol--WTF?) Doc is putting me on a prescription megadose of the D.
So I'm feeling like a fat ass whose problems would all be solved if I weren't such a fat ass. And then Girl Scout cookies came in today. Yes, I'm a fat ass with 150 boxes of cookies in my dining room. FML.
2/5/13
How do you spell relief?
More than a year ago I made a New Year's resolution to find a new family practitioner. I felt like my current GP just didn't listen to me. And she never did anything to make me feel better. She made me feel like a hypochondriac. I go to the doctor maybe twice a year--when something weird is going on or I am so sick I think I'm about to die. And her advice is usually something along the lines of "take a Benadryl."
It was so bad that the last couple of times I was sick, I went to urgent care (and paid 3x my copay) because I knew they would actually give me something to make me feel better.
And way back when I broke both ankles, and she discovered that I have low bone-density, she decided that I could no longer have my prescription for Protonix filled because it is contraindicated for low bone density.
I have terrible, awful acid reflux. Vomit in my sleep and aspirate it, bad. Can't even drink water some days (yes, literally) bad. Lumps of food stick in my throat bad.
She said, take Zantac, raise the head of your bed, modify your diet. I did those things. Zantac didn't work, DH HATES having the bed raised (but it is), I don't drink coffee or soda or eat anything with red sauce. And it is still terrible, and she still she wouldn't give me anything.
So finally, finally, today I went to a new doc. And as soon as I told him my symptoms he said that I needed a scope. And her ordered a bunch of labs, including a test for an ulcer-causing bacteria that no one has ever looked for before. And he put me back on the Protonix, even with the low bone density.
And with all that--even getting 5 vials of blood drawn and facing a so-not-fun endoscopy in the future--I left the doctor's office happy. I was so stunned that I didn't have to convince him that my situation was truly bad. That I needed to be fixed. I didn't leave feeling like I was some kinds of drug whore (I didn't even take pain pills after I gave birth to twins, but old doc wouldn't give me so much as an antibiotic.)
Why is it so easy to advocate for others and ignore ourselves? I would never put up with this treatment of a client or my children.
It was so bad that the last couple of times I was sick, I went to urgent care (and paid 3x my copay) because I knew they would actually give me something to make me feel better.
And way back when I broke both ankles, and she discovered that I have low bone-density, she decided that I could no longer have my prescription for Protonix filled because it is contraindicated for low bone density.
I have terrible, awful acid reflux. Vomit in my sleep and aspirate it, bad. Can't even drink water some days (yes, literally) bad. Lumps of food stick in my throat bad.
She said, take Zantac, raise the head of your bed, modify your diet. I did those things. Zantac didn't work, DH HATES having the bed raised (but it is), I don't drink coffee or soda or eat anything with red sauce. And it is still terrible, and she still she wouldn't give me anything.
So finally, finally, today I went to a new doc. And as soon as I told him my symptoms he said that I needed a scope. And her ordered a bunch of labs, including a test for an ulcer-causing bacteria that no one has ever looked for before. And he put me back on the Protonix, even with the low bone density.
And with all that--even getting 5 vials of blood drawn and facing a so-not-fun endoscopy in the future--I left the doctor's office happy. I was so stunned that I didn't have to convince him that my situation was truly bad. That I needed to be fixed. I didn't leave feeling like I was some kinds of drug whore (I didn't even take pain pills after I gave birth to twins, but old doc wouldn't give me so much as an antibiotic.)
Why is it so easy to advocate for others and ignore ourselves? I would never put up with this treatment of a client or my children.
2/3/13
Freedom!
This is the first weekend in I don't even know how long that we have nothing to do. No hauling kids around to games and practices, no commitments, nada. The twins left on Friday to go camping with their Girl Scout troop. Poor PS is sidelined with norovirus (otherwise we would be hauling her around).
So what the heck do we do with a rare free weekend? Yesterday, we decided to head to Ikea. It's a 30-mile drive in city traffic, so we only go once or twice a year. And the kids HATE it. So it was nice to go and dawdle and not listen to any griping kids. Woot! And I bought a small trash bin full of stuff and still came in under $40--double woot!
Then we headed to a nearby mall and I got the new iphone, which was my slightly late birthday gift from DH. My old phone was a slow, slightly-buggy 3gs, so I was in desperate need of an upgrade, and we had great fun asking Siri stupid questions on the way home.
Next, we headed to a fun, always-crowded mexican restaurant for lunch. And we were seated within 5 minutes. Do you know how much easier it is to get a table for 2 than a table for 5? And we spent less than $20!
Finally, we wandered back home, with a quick stop for groceries. After unloading, I crashed on the sofa and took a 2-hour nap--something I could never get away with if the twins were home.
We spent the evening watching The Dark Knight Rises with PS. She had DH saw the midnight premiere in the theater, but I had not seen it. I have to say, I was not impressed, but dark and depressing isn't really my idea of entertainment. And Bane's voice was unbelievable annoying.
Halfway through, PS was starving and feeling much better, so we headed out for ice cream (in a drive-thru), barefoot and in out pj pants.
It was a good day.
So what the heck do we do with a rare free weekend? Yesterday, we decided to head to Ikea. It's a 30-mile drive in city traffic, so we only go once or twice a year. And the kids HATE it. So it was nice to go and dawdle and not listen to any griping kids. Woot! And I bought a small trash bin full of stuff and still came in under $40--double woot!
Then we headed to a nearby mall and I got the new iphone, which was my slightly late birthday gift from DH. My old phone was a slow, slightly-buggy 3gs, so I was in desperate need of an upgrade, and we had great fun asking Siri stupid questions on the way home.
Next, we headed to a fun, always-crowded mexican restaurant for lunch. And we were seated within 5 minutes. Do you know how much easier it is to get a table for 2 than a table for 5? And we spent less than $20!
Finally, we wandered back home, with a quick stop for groceries. After unloading, I crashed on the sofa and took a 2-hour nap--something I could never get away with if the twins were home.
We spent the evening watching The Dark Knight Rises with PS. She had DH saw the midnight premiere in the theater, but I had not seen it. I have to say, I was not impressed, but dark and depressing isn't really my idea of entertainment. And Bane's voice was unbelievable annoying.
Halfway through, PS was starving and feeling much better, so we headed out for ice cream (in a drive-thru), barefoot and in out pj pants.
It was a good day.
1/30/13
Of Course...
...my printer would say it's out of toner when I am trying to print W-2's on the day before they are due. And, of course, it's not really out of toner--the stupid printer industry is just trying to trick me into buying a $75 cartridge that I don't even need yet.
I finally managed to cajole it into printing my docs, but this is why procrastination is bad.
And don't even get me started on what the stupid required W-2 forms cost--$17! I needed ONE--ONE form-- but the smallest I can find is a pack of 10--for $17!
And just for grins, I went ahead and did a quick prep of my taxes. We owe a decent chunk--but thankfully nothing close to the 5-figure hit we took when I first started working and we screwed up our withholdings. Still, I thought we were going to be closer to breaking even this year. I think I need to buy a bigger house so we can take a bigger mortgage interest deduction (yeah, right!). It is so frustrating to be phased out of every other freaking deduction--especially student loans, when the only reason I have a high income is because I have student loans out the wazoo.
Oh, and I got the quote for SS's braces today. $5k. Why didn't anyone tell me braces cost $5k? But after asking everybody I saw today who has ever had a kid in braces, that seems to be the going rate around here. I guess I live in a fairy land where braces actually cost less than my first 2 cars combined (ok, they were really crappy cars).
I finally managed to cajole it into printing my docs, but this is why procrastination is bad.
And don't even get me started on what the stupid required W-2 forms cost--$17! I needed ONE--ONE form-- but the smallest I can find is a pack of 10--for $17!
And just for grins, I went ahead and did a quick prep of my taxes. We owe a decent chunk--but thankfully nothing close to the 5-figure hit we took when I first started working and we screwed up our withholdings. Still, I thought we were going to be closer to breaking even this year. I think I need to buy a bigger house so we can take a bigger mortgage interest deduction (yeah, right!). It is so frustrating to be phased out of every other freaking deduction--especially student loans, when the only reason I have a high income is because I have student loans out the wazoo.
Oh, and I got the quote for SS's braces today. $5k. Why didn't anyone tell me braces cost $5k? But after asking everybody I saw today who has ever had a kid in braces, that seems to be the going rate around here. I guess I live in a fairy land where braces actually cost less than my first 2 cars combined (ok, they were really crappy cars).
1/27/13
Defenders of the Downtrodden
That would be SS and TT.
Early in the school year, TT made a new friend, M. I'd never met M because she was new to the school. Soon, TT started talking about M being bullied at school. Over and over again, this topic would come up, and we would talk about how to respond (walk away when possible, and stand up for your friends). TT and SS assured me that they were not the target of the bullying, but it was relentless against M, mostly because of her weight (and, yes, we did talk to the teachers about this).
This week seemed to be a breaking point, and TT and SS told me that they accompanied M to visit the counselor because "she just couldn't take it anymore." The girls reported that they were in the counselor's office for two class periods.
That prompted me to call the counselor to get a fuller picture. To find out how much bullying was really going on (because it is such a buzzword these days) and that my girls weren't being pulled into someone else's self-created drama. To confirm my girls' reports that they were not being bullied (they are not).
The counselor confirmed that there is some bullying, but that she also talked to the girls about what is bullying and what is just rude behavior. She has been involved with M, and it seems like the child just has a tough life. She is being picked on for her weight and because she lives in a trailer park. There are some tough family dynamics.
The counselor also thinks my girls are a great influence on M. That they show her how to be strong against the bullies and that they are accepting of her no matter what. I mentioned that I had been intending to invite M over, because I did not know her, and the counselor thought that was a great idea, but warned that M was very self-conscious about not being able to reciprocate. (And we intended to have her over this weekend, and poor TT got sick.)
So we will do what we can to help her out, and show her that she can have friends no matter what. Her family situation seems a lot like mine was. I was so lucky to have friends in junior high and high school where I spent a lot of time to get away from my own miserable situation.
Late last week, the girls accompanied another bullied classmate to the counselor's office for a rap session. To call this child irritating is an understatement, and even my girls have limited patience for her, but I have always insisted that they are kind to her, and they have been. Apparently, she was this week's target of the bullying, and my girls stepped in to help her out.
I've been trying to think of something more proactive the girls can do. They truly are right in the middle of the mean girls stage (we somehow managed to skip this with PS--I have no idea how). I think my girls have a bit of power because they are fairly popular, but so far they haven't managed to shame the bullies into quitting their antics. Maybe it's just a matter of surviving this year and moving on to middle school where the pond is much bigger.
Early in the school year, TT made a new friend, M. I'd never met M because she was new to the school. Soon, TT started talking about M being bullied at school. Over and over again, this topic would come up, and we would talk about how to respond (walk away when possible, and stand up for your friends). TT and SS assured me that they were not the target of the bullying, but it was relentless against M, mostly because of her weight (and, yes, we did talk to the teachers about this).
This week seemed to be a breaking point, and TT and SS told me that they accompanied M to visit the counselor because "she just couldn't take it anymore." The girls reported that they were in the counselor's office for two class periods.
That prompted me to call the counselor to get a fuller picture. To find out how much bullying was really going on (because it is such a buzzword these days) and that my girls weren't being pulled into someone else's self-created drama. To confirm my girls' reports that they were not being bullied (they are not).
The counselor confirmed that there is some bullying, but that she also talked to the girls about what is bullying and what is just rude behavior. She has been involved with M, and it seems like the child just has a tough life. She is being picked on for her weight and because she lives in a trailer park. There are some tough family dynamics.
The counselor also thinks my girls are a great influence on M. That they show her how to be strong against the bullies and that they are accepting of her no matter what. I mentioned that I had been intending to invite M over, because I did not know her, and the counselor thought that was a great idea, but warned that M was very self-conscious about not being able to reciprocate. (And we intended to have her over this weekend, and poor TT got sick.)
So we will do what we can to help her out, and show her that she can have friends no matter what. Her family situation seems a lot like mine was. I was so lucky to have friends in junior high and high school where I spent a lot of time to get away from my own miserable situation.
Late last week, the girls accompanied another bullied classmate to the counselor's office for a rap session. To call this child irritating is an understatement, and even my girls have limited patience for her, but I have always insisted that they are kind to her, and they have been. Apparently, she was this week's target of the bullying, and my girls stepped in to help her out.
I've been trying to think of something more proactive the girls can do. They truly are right in the middle of the mean girls stage (we somehow managed to skip this with PS--I have no idea how). I think my girls have a bit of power because they are fairly popular, but so far they haven't managed to shame the bullies into quitting their antics. Maybe it's just a matter of surviving this year and moving on to middle school where the pond is much bigger.
1/25/13
So Proud
While playing Monopoly tonight I was bidding against SS for a property. I said " Ha! I get it because you don't have enough cash!" To which she replied, " yeah, I know. I was just bidding you up."
Me: "Wait, how do you even know what that means?"
SS: "From watching Storage Wars." Duh.
She definitely takes after her mother in her no-holds- barred Monopoly gamesmanship.
Me: "Wait, how do you even know what that means?"
SS: "From watching Storage Wars." Duh.
She definitely takes after her mother in her no-holds- barred Monopoly gamesmanship.
1/19/13
Boring
Life has become quite boring. That is generally a good thing, but it doesn't really make for blog fodder. And we are so very slow at work. I hate being bored at work. The days pass so slowly--among other reasons why being slow at work is not a good thing.
We finally changed ISP's because our service through AT&T was ridiculously slow and they don't offer anything faster in our almost-rural neighborhood. DH was reluctant to change because he couldn't bear to give up his 15-year old email address. I finally put my foot down and told him it was his email address or me--we needed faster internet. The change is stunning. We can finally stream without poor quality and hiccups every 5 minutes. And we can stream on multiple devices at once. Yay!
With our new-found streaming capabilities, I reactivated Netflix. And started watching Downton Abbey. Although I've heard much about it, I really had no interest because it looked so very dry. But I was bored and gave it a try and now I am hooked. I finished off the first season, and just activated a free trial of Hulu Plus so that I can watch the second season, and I am trying very hard to avoid any spoilers. My only complaint is that I HATE the score. It is so heavy-handed. It takes me back to my childhood when the Young and the Restless would come on at my grandma's house. I hated that theme, too. It just seemed to predict sadness.
Along the same lines, I have almost convinced DH to give up cable and move to streaming only. We watch so little television that it just doesn't justify the $80/month price tag. There are 5 shows that we regularly record on our DVR. Most of them are available on Hulu, and the remainder we could buy on itunes and still spend less than half what we spend on cable. Has anyone successfully ditched cable for streaming devices?
Other than that, I am a taxi driver. Last night I had to drop SS at volleyball at 6:30, TT at Girl Scouts at 7:00, pick up SS at 7:30 and drop her off at Girl Scouts, pick up PS at 8:00 from robotics, hit the store for emergency wine and cupcakes, and head back to pick up SS and TT by 8:30 (although, blessedly, their BFF offered them a ride home, which saved that final trip.) The kids are busy, even if I am not these days. Poor PS is at school every night until 8:00 preparing for their first robotics competition. Their robot has to throw a Frisbee at a target while fighting off competing robots. It is truly amazing what these kids are able to do. Because they are working so late, parents are taking turns taking meals up to the kids. I think I am going to take a couple of pork roasts and make pulled pork for sandwiches. Any other suggestions for feeding 30 teenagers? They are sick of pizza and tacos. Pasta's been done quite a bit, too.
The good news about busy kids--we have found little pockets of alone time. On Wednesday nights all of the kids have stuff going on, and we have two hours to go to dinner or have grown-up time in an empty house. Even though the kids are now big enough to leave alone, we don't do it very often because, well, we're usually so busy that we feel like we should spend time with the kids. But these little pockets of kid-free time because the kids are busy are totally guilt-free. Yay! So, moms of toddlers, take comfort that someday, many years from now, your kids will have more active social lives than you, and you will actually be able to eat a complete meal, while it's still hot, without having to cut up anyone's food, and while having an adult conversation. And you won't even have to pay a babysitter.
We finally changed ISP's because our service through AT&T was ridiculously slow and they don't offer anything faster in our almost-rural neighborhood. DH was reluctant to change because he couldn't bear to give up his 15-year old email address. I finally put my foot down and told him it was his email address or me--we needed faster internet. The change is stunning. We can finally stream without poor quality and hiccups every 5 minutes. And we can stream on multiple devices at once. Yay!
With our new-found streaming capabilities, I reactivated Netflix. And started watching Downton Abbey. Although I've heard much about it, I really had no interest because it looked so very dry. But I was bored and gave it a try and now I am hooked. I finished off the first season, and just activated a free trial of Hulu Plus so that I can watch the second season, and I am trying very hard to avoid any spoilers. My only complaint is that I HATE the score. It is so heavy-handed. It takes me back to my childhood when the Young and the Restless would come on at my grandma's house. I hated that theme, too. It just seemed to predict sadness.
Along the same lines, I have almost convinced DH to give up cable and move to streaming only. We watch so little television that it just doesn't justify the $80/month price tag. There are 5 shows that we regularly record on our DVR. Most of them are available on Hulu, and the remainder we could buy on itunes and still spend less than half what we spend on cable. Has anyone successfully ditched cable for streaming devices?
Other than that, I am a taxi driver. Last night I had to drop SS at volleyball at 6:30, TT at Girl Scouts at 7:00, pick up SS at 7:30 and drop her off at Girl Scouts, pick up PS at 8:00 from robotics, hit the store for emergency wine and cupcakes, and head back to pick up SS and TT by 8:30 (although, blessedly, their BFF offered them a ride home, which saved that final trip.) The kids are busy, even if I am not these days. Poor PS is at school every night until 8:00 preparing for their first robotics competition. Their robot has to throw a Frisbee at a target while fighting off competing robots. It is truly amazing what these kids are able to do. Because they are working so late, parents are taking turns taking meals up to the kids. I think I am going to take a couple of pork roasts and make pulled pork for sandwiches. Any other suggestions for feeding 30 teenagers? They are sick of pizza and tacos. Pasta's been done quite a bit, too.
The good news about busy kids--we have found little pockets of alone time. On Wednesday nights all of the kids have stuff going on, and we have two hours to go to dinner or have grown-up time in an empty house. Even though the kids are now big enough to leave alone, we don't do it very often because, well, we're usually so busy that we feel like we should spend time with the kids. But these little pockets of kid-free time because the kids are busy are totally guilt-free. Yay! So, moms of toddlers, take comfort that someday, many years from now, your kids will have more active social lives than you, and you will actually be able to eat a complete meal, while it's still hot, without having to cut up anyone's food, and while having an adult conversation. And you won't even have to pay a babysitter.
12/31/12
Don't Hit Your Sister With Your Bag of Vomit
So, today's been great.
We had a 6:30 flight out this morning, which meant a 4:00 am wake-up call. I am fine with regular morning ours, but middle-of-the-night type morning hours don't go over well with me. I need my sleep to be tolerable, and in addition to my exceptionally early morning, I didn't sleep worth a darn because I was afraid of oversleeping.
But we didn't oversleep, and we made it onto the first leg of our flight with little drama. Then we had an hour+ layover. DH went in search of coffee. And stayed gone FOREVER. And they started boarding. And I was frantically texting him to get back to our gate ASAP. He made it just in the nick of time, but now instead of just 3 kids and all their carry-ons, we had 3 kids plus drinks plus carry-ons. It was fun!
We finally landed, and I was oh-so-happy to be oh-so-close to home. I called for the shuttle to our parked car. They said it would be 10-20 minutes. Sigh. Shuttle finally showed up--and it was only a minivan--and another couple jumped in front of us and took the shuttle! I made my unhappiness very well known (see above about needing sleep to be tolerable). And so we waited another 25 minutes in the rain and the cold for the shuttle to return. In the meantime I called the shuttle place office to express my dissatisfaction and was rewarded with lame excuses and a "we don't really give a crap" attitude and the knowledge that there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. We'll just chalk it up to a lesson learned--next time, just pay the extra $50 to park at the airport. My cheapness got the better of me.
Finally, finally we are back in our own vehicle, on the 40-mile ride home. And then, from nowhere, TT projectile vomits from the back of the car. She spewed everywhere--on herself and on both of her sisters. They start gagging and rolling down the windows in the freezing rain going 60 mph on the highway. I am just heading into downtown Big City. There is absolutely nowhere I can pull off, and even if I did, there would be nowhere with facilities to clean up with. We start pulling dirty t-shirts from the suitcases for her to wipe herself off with, and DH finds a plastic grocery bag for her to continue retching into.
And then she sneezed, and there was both snot and vomit everywhere.
But it all seemed to make her feel better, and within minutes she was laughing and threatening her sister with her vomit bag.
We zoomed home, PS freaking out because she was supposed to go to a party this that was already starting and that she was already going to be late to, and she was now covered in vomit. But we did get her home, and herself and her sisters cleaned up, and most of the vomit wiped out of the car, and all of our coats now needing to go to the cleaners, and a stack of vomit-covered laundry in addition to the week's worth of laundry that we just brought home.
And I went to drop off PS and DH was going to pick up Bob from the kennel. But then he called because his car wouldn't start. We knew his battery life was almost up, and it got very cold here while we were gone--apparently even in the garage. So I dropped off PS and went back for DH and we went and got Bob and returned him home, and then left again to get lunch and enough groceries to last a couple of days.
And the grocery store was a nightmare. Literally no place to park. I have never seen it so crazy--even on the day before Thanksgiving. After making several circles (and I am not a parking lot circler, I need all the exercise I can get) I finally found a remote spot. And then had to do battle through the aisles of the store, which seemed even worse than the parking lot. My grand plan was to make a big pot of chili for dinner tonight, and apparently it was everyone else's plan, too, because it was nearly impossible to break through the crowd surrounding the canned tomatoes.
Finally, finally, back home. But poor DH, had to leave again to pick up PS and go get a new car battery, because who knows what will be open tomorrow.
My plans for the evening, take a hot bath, put on my jammies, make my yummy pot of chili, finish Gone Girl (not my typical genre, but really good!) and chill until I crash, which I suspect will be long before midnight. I'm so happy to be back in my house with my bathtub and my bed!
Oh, and in case you're wondering, TT seems fine now. I think it was motion sickness.
Oh, and I apologize for my last long, rambling post. It was mostly so I would remember what we did when. And it was done on my ipad, which was not cooperating with blogger, making editing nearly impossible (I can't scroll on my ipad--anyone else have this problem?)
We had a 6:30 flight out this morning, which meant a 4:00 am wake-up call. I am fine with regular morning ours, but middle-of-the-night type morning hours don't go over well with me. I need my sleep to be tolerable, and in addition to my exceptionally early morning, I didn't sleep worth a darn because I was afraid of oversleeping.
But we didn't oversleep, and we made it onto the first leg of our flight with little drama. Then we had an hour+ layover. DH went in search of coffee. And stayed gone FOREVER. And they started boarding. And I was frantically texting him to get back to our gate ASAP. He made it just in the nick of time, but now instead of just 3 kids and all their carry-ons, we had 3 kids plus drinks plus carry-ons. It was fun!
We finally landed, and I was oh-so-happy to be oh-so-close to home. I called for the shuttle to our parked car. They said it would be 10-20 minutes. Sigh. Shuttle finally showed up--and it was only a minivan--and another couple jumped in front of us and took the shuttle! I made my unhappiness very well known (see above about needing sleep to be tolerable). And so we waited another 25 minutes in the rain and the cold for the shuttle to return. In the meantime I called the shuttle place office to express my dissatisfaction and was rewarded with lame excuses and a "we don't really give a crap" attitude and the knowledge that there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. We'll just chalk it up to a lesson learned--next time, just pay the extra $50 to park at the airport. My cheapness got the better of me.
Finally, finally we are back in our own vehicle, on the 40-mile ride home. And then, from nowhere, TT projectile vomits from the back of the car. She spewed everywhere--on herself and on both of her sisters. They start gagging and rolling down the windows in the freezing rain going 60 mph on the highway. I am just heading into downtown Big City. There is absolutely nowhere I can pull off, and even if I did, there would be nowhere with facilities to clean up with. We start pulling dirty t-shirts from the suitcases for her to wipe herself off with, and DH finds a plastic grocery bag for her to continue retching into.
And then she sneezed, and there was both snot and vomit everywhere.
But it all seemed to make her feel better, and within minutes she was laughing and threatening her sister with her vomit bag.
We zoomed home, PS freaking out because she was supposed to go to a party this that was already starting and that she was already going to be late to, and she was now covered in vomit. But we did get her home, and herself and her sisters cleaned up, and most of the vomit wiped out of the car, and all of our coats now needing to go to the cleaners, and a stack of vomit-covered laundry in addition to the week's worth of laundry that we just brought home.
And I went to drop off PS and DH was going to pick up Bob from the kennel. But then he called because his car wouldn't start. We knew his battery life was almost up, and it got very cold here while we were gone--apparently even in the garage. So I dropped off PS and went back for DH and we went and got Bob and returned him home, and then left again to get lunch and enough groceries to last a couple of days.
And the grocery store was a nightmare. Literally no place to park. I have never seen it so crazy--even on the day before Thanksgiving. After making several circles (and I am not a parking lot circler, I need all the exercise I can get) I finally found a remote spot. And then had to do battle through the aisles of the store, which seemed even worse than the parking lot. My grand plan was to make a big pot of chili for dinner tonight, and apparently it was everyone else's plan, too, because it was nearly impossible to break through the crowd surrounding the canned tomatoes.
Finally, finally, back home. But poor DH, had to leave again to pick up PS and go get a new car battery, because who knows what will be open tomorrow.
My plans for the evening, take a hot bath, put on my jammies, make my yummy pot of chili, finish Gone Girl (not my typical genre, but really good!) and chill until I crash, which I suspect will be long before midnight. I'm so happy to be back in my house with my bathtub and my bed!
Oh, and in case you're wondering, TT seems fine now. I think it was motion sickness.
Oh, and I apologize for my last long, rambling post. It was mostly so I would remember what we did when. And it was done on my ipad, which was not cooperating with blogger, making editing nearly impossible (I can't scroll on my ipad--anyone else have this problem?)
12/29/12
Washington Vacay Continued
Wednesday:
This was a museum day--a good thing because the weather was cold and sleeting and miserable. We took a wrong turn coming out of the metro station and spent way too long going the wrong direction in the freezing weather.
We hit the merican History Museum and part of the Natural History Museum. The crowds were insane, and we endured the first of what was to be many, many security lines on this trip. We also learned that food prices at this Smithsonians is outrageous ($60 for burgers and shared fries!)
Honestly, I was a bit underwhelmed by the museums that we saw. Maybe it was partly because the American History Museum is being removated and many of the exhibits were closed. But we have visited many good museums before, and these weren't particularly more impressive.
We were so pooped after a long day of walking that I collapsed into bed by 8:00!
Thursday:
Today we toured the Capitol and the Library of Congress. The Library of Congress is without question, the most stunning building I have ever seen. It is gorgeous. I think I could spend the whole day here, just staring at the architecture. We had arranged for a tour through our congressman, and were booked at the very end of the day. Unfortunately, our docent was very chatty and had not left the first floor more than half-way through our tour time. We were concerned about having enough time to view the other parts of the building, so we abandoned the tour and went exploring on our own like naughty children. This was probably the best decision we made all week, because we would not have had time to take in the breathtaking architecture otherwise.
The Caiptol tour was earlier in the day and brought very long security lines outside in the cold. The tourguide was good, but the tour was disappointingly short. However, the parts of the building that we were allowed to see were beautiful.
My representative had sent us gallery passes, but the House was not in session. The Senate was in session but our Senator required us to come by the office for passes. I would have loved to have Senate gallery passes, but we weren't willing to endure the long, cold security lines again, and we would have been very pressed for time with out Library of Congress passes.
Friday:
Today we hit the Air and Space Museum. It was the most dramatic of the museums we have seen. It had some really cool artifacts, but we went through that museum fairly quickly, because it duplicated a lot of what we have seen on other trips--particularly to NASA and the Naval Air Museum in Pensacola.
Afterward, the kids went back to the Natural History Museum with DH while I went to the Supreme Court. It was fantastic to sit in the courtroom. There was also a short lecture, but it was really 5th -grade level "how the court system works" Which is apparently needed, based upon the conversation of the people in line behind me who explained to their child that the Supreme Court makes the laws and who could not name the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court while we were standing in the Supreme Court! (I have no faith left in our education system--when we were viewing THE Constitution, one lady asked her kid where John Hancock's signature was, and then huffed off when I told her it was on the Declaration of Independence.)
After I met back up with the family, we headed over to the Washington Monument and viewed the White House, before trekking back to the Metro Station and heading up to the National Zoo for Zoolights. The lights were beautiful, but very few of the animal houses were open, and sadly, we have not seen the pandas.
After a very long day, we headed back to the metro and to our hotel. The kids have all now become metro -riding experts.
We thought we were done for the day, but DH really wanted to get some night shots of the Lincoln Memorial--which was only about a mile from our hotel. So we bundled up and headed out again. Unfortunately, public transportation doesn't get you close to the monuments and war memorials. We only saw the Lincoln Memorial and the Vietnam Memorial. The rest will have to wait for a spring or summer trip.
Saturday:
We were pooped from yesterday and tired of museums. We had intended to hit the Spy Museum or the Newseum. We ended up visiting the Mansion on O Street. I'm not sure how to describe this place. It's kind of a hidden, out-of the-way place near Dupont Circle. Four townhouses have been joined together to form the Mansion, which is a hotel/event space/thrift store filled with crazy rooms and secret passages with hidden doors. it is filled with junk from top to bottom, and you can buy anything there. You can also go in any room that is not closed off--I can't imagine staying in a hotel with all kinds of strangers wandering the halls. Anyway, the kids claim it was the most fun they had. The loved seeking out all of the secret doors and hidden passageways and were very disappointed when we told them it was time to leave.
We had a late lunch at Dupont Circle before heading to the National Archives. I had reserved our tour ahead of time, so we were able to go through the fairly short security line instead of the really long security line. Here we saw the Magna Carta, the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and Declaration of Independence. This is an absolute must see.
After heading back to dinner in our hotel room, we headed up M street for coffee and cupcakes in Georgetown. A pretty good way to end the day.
Overall, it's been a good trip. I think for a winter trip, we could have gone a couple of days shorter. We'd like to come back when it's warmer and we can enjoy more of the outdoor activities. And of course, there are about a million more museums we could hit.
This was a museum day--a good thing because the weather was cold and sleeting and miserable. We took a wrong turn coming out of the metro station and spent way too long going the wrong direction in the freezing weather.
We hit the merican History Museum and part of the Natural History Museum. The crowds were insane, and we endured the first of what was to be many, many security lines on this trip. We also learned that food prices at this Smithsonians is outrageous ($60 for burgers and shared fries!)
Honestly, I was a bit underwhelmed by the museums that we saw. Maybe it was partly because the American History Museum is being removated and many of the exhibits were closed. But we have visited many good museums before, and these weren't particularly more impressive.
We were so pooped after a long day of walking that I collapsed into bed by 8:00!
Thursday:
Today we toured the Capitol and the Library of Congress. The Library of Congress is without question, the most stunning building I have ever seen. It is gorgeous. I think I could spend the whole day here, just staring at the architecture. We had arranged for a tour through our congressman, and were booked at the very end of the day. Unfortunately, our docent was very chatty and had not left the first floor more than half-way through our tour time. We were concerned about having enough time to view the other parts of the building, so we abandoned the tour and went exploring on our own like naughty children. This was probably the best decision we made all week, because we would not have had time to take in the breathtaking architecture otherwise.
The Caiptol tour was earlier in the day and brought very long security lines outside in the cold. The tourguide was good, but the tour was disappointingly short. However, the parts of the building that we were allowed to see were beautiful.
My representative had sent us gallery passes, but the House was not in session. The Senate was in session but our Senator required us to come by the office for passes. I would have loved to have Senate gallery passes, but we weren't willing to endure the long, cold security lines again, and we would have been very pressed for time with out Library of Congress passes.
Friday:
Today we hit the Air and Space Museum. It was the most dramatic of the museums we have seen. It had some really cool artifacts, but we went through that museum fairly quickly, because it duplicated a lot of what we have seen on other trips--particularly to NASA and the Naval Air Museum in Pensacola.
Afterward, the kids went back to the Natural History Museum with DH while I went to the Supreme Court. It was fantastic to sit in the courtroom. There was also a short lecture, but it was really 5th -grade level "how the court system works" Which is apparently needed, based upon the conversation of the people in line behind me who explained to their child that the Supreme Court makes the laws and who could not name the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court while we were standing in the Supreme Court! (I have no faith left in our education system--when we were viewing THE Constitution, one lady asked her kid where John Hancock's signature was, and then huffed off when I told her it was on the Declaration of Independence.)
After I met back up with the family, we headed over to the Washington Monument and viewed the White House, before trekking back to the Metro Station and heading up to the National Zoo for Zoolights. The lights were beautiful, but very few of the animal houses were open, and sadly, we have not seen the pandas.
After a very long day, we headed back to the metro and to our hotel. The kids have all now become metro -riding experts.
We thought we were done for the day, but DH really wanted to get some night shots of the Lincoln Memorial--which was only about a mile from our hotel. So we bundled up and headed out again. Unfortunately, public transportation doesn't get you close to the monuments and war memorials. We only saw the Lincoln Memorial and the Vietnam Memorial. The rest will have to wait for a spring or summer trip.
Saturday:
We were pooped from yesterday and tired of museums. We had intended to hit the Spy Museum or the Newseum. We ended up visiting the Mansion on O Street. I'm not sure how to describe this place. It's kind of a hidden, out-of the-way place near Dupont Circle. Four townhouses have been joined together to form the Mansion, which is a hotel/event space/thrift store filled with crazy rooms and secret passages with hidden doors. it is filled with junk from top to bottom, and you can buy anything there. You can also go in any room that is not closed off--I can't imagine staying in a hotel with all kinds of strangers wandering the halls. Anyway, the kids claim it was the most fun they had. The loved seeking out all of the secret doors and hidden passageways and were very disappointed when we told them it was time to leave.
We had a late lunch at Dupont Circle before heading to the National Archives. I had reserved our tour ahead of time, so we were able to go through the fairly short security line instead of the really long security line. Here we saw the Magna Carta, the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and Declaration of Independence. This is an absolute must see.
After heading back to dinner in our hotel room, we headed up M street for coffee and cupcakes in Georgetown. A pretty good way to end the day.
Overall, it's been a good trip. I think for a winter trip, we could have gone a couple of days shorter. We'd like to come back when it's warmer and we can enjoy more of the outdoor activities. And of course, there are about a million more museums we could hit.
12/26/12
DC Vacay Days 1-2
We headed out to the airport early on Christmas Eve. The kids plus all their stuff was about as much fun as I expected, although, blessedly, the security line was nonexistant. We arrived in DC, one plane change later and only 15 minutes later than scheduled, on a rainy, dreary afternoon.
We were thankful to find a minivan cab right away--as we've already discovered these are not overly common in DC and we can't all fit in a sedan-style cab. There was a slight problem with our hotel reservation when we arrived, which added a bit of stress, but was easily resolved. We are staying in a suite hotel with a full kichen, so we were pleased to see a Trader Joe's directly across the street. Although I have heard much about the aweseomness of Trader Joe's, I found it to be a bit overrated. Still, we were glad to be able to stock our kitchen, knowing that everything would be closed on Christmas.
As soon as we got back, we headed out to the National Cathedral by way of bus. It was cold and wet, and we were happy that we didn't have to wait very long, although the bus ride seemed to take forever and we arrived only a few mintues before the service started. The National Cathedral is simply stunning, although I wish we could have seen more of it and we were seated so far back we really could see anything that was happening except on the monitors. We'd like to go back and do a tour, but I don't think we'll have time on this trip.
Christmas morning, the kids opened their stockings and we headed out to Mount Vernon. This will (hopefully) be our most expensive day. Tickets to Mount Vernon cost more than an other attraction we are planning to visit and it was no easy task to get there. We took the metro to the end of the line, and then started waiting on a but that apparently only ran every hour on normal days, and who knows how often on a holiday. After about a 15-minute wait, a mini-van cab showed up and we grabbed it. A $30 cab ride later, and we were there.
Mount Vernon was beautiful and interesting , but I'm not sure it was worth the hassle and expense of getting there.
Coming back, we stopped at Arlington National Cemetery. It is truly the most humbling place I have ever been, and seemed a particularly appropriate place to spend Christmas. Pictures simply don't convey the hundreds of thousands of gravestones that go on as far as the eye can see. It was especially beautiful with Christmas wreaths laid at every headstone. We visited Vicksburg a couple of years ago, which was impressive on its own, but incomparable to Arlington.
We ended our day with dinner near Dupont Circle and a brisk walk back to our hotel, where we all collapsed in exhaustion. This is a beautiful city, and I love it already. I feel like I live in a barren wasteland in comparison. Today we hit a couple of the Smithsonians. Maybe we'll see some of the monuments, if the weather cooperates, although it sounds like it is sleeting right now.
We were thankful to find a minivan cab right away--as we've already discovered these are not overly common in DC and we can't all fit in a sedan-style cab. There was a slight problem with our hotel reservation when we arrived, which added a bit of stress, but was easily resolved. We are staying in a suite hotel with a full kichen, so we were pleased to see a Trader Joe's directly across the street. Although I have heard much about the aweseomness of Trader Joe's, I found it to be a bit overrated. Still, we were glad to be able to stock our kitchen, knowing that everything would be closed on Christmas.
As soon as we got back, we headed out to the National Cathedral by way of bus. It was cold and wet, and we were happy that we didn't have to wait very long, although the bus ride seemed to take forever and we arrived only a few mintues before the service started. The National Cathedral is simply stunning, although I wish we could have seen more of it and we were seated so far back we really could see anything that was happening except on the monitors. We'd like to go back and do a tour, but I don't think we'll have time on this trip.
Christmas morning, the kids opened their stockings and we headed out to Mount Vernon. This will (hopefully) be our most expensive day. Tickets to Mount Vernon cost more than an other attraction we are planning to visit and it was no easy task to get there. We took the metro to the end of the line, and then started waiting on a but that apparently only ran every hour on normal days, and who knows how often on a holiday. After about a 15-minute wait, a mini-van cab showed up and we grabbed it. A $30 cab ride later, and we were there.
Mount Vernon was beautiful and interesting , but I'm not sure it was worth the hassle and expense of getting there.
Coming back, we stopped at Arlington National Cemetery. It is truly the most humbling place I have ever been, and seemed a particularly appropriate place to spend Christmas. Pictures simply don't convey the hundreds of thousands of gravestones that go on as far as the eye can see. It was especially beautiful with Christmas wreaths laid at every headstone. We visited Vicksburg a couple of years ago, which was impressive on its own, but incomparable to Arlington.
We ended our day with dinner near Dupont Circle and a brisk walk back to our hotel, where we all collapsed in exhaustion. This is a beautiful city, and I love it already. I feel like I live in a barren wasteland in comparison. Today we hit a couple of the Smithsonians. Maybe we'll see some of the monuments, if the weather cooperates, although it sounds like it is sleeting right now.
12/23/12
LC's Thoughts on Gun Control
First, the background:
I was raised in a gun family. Pretty much everyone in my extended family owns an extensive collection of firearms of all shapes and sizes. I own several handguns and a shotgun (I have not purchased any--they were all gifted to me). I've been shooting since I was big enough to hold the barrel straight. I've fired everything from a tiny Derringer pistol to an AR-15 (yes, that would be an assault rifle). I do not hunt--I never had the desire or stomach for it. I can't imagine ever shooting a living thing, but I enjoy target shooting.
Do I need these guns? No, not really. Because of safety measures, they are useless for home defense. My guns are all locked up. The ammo is kept separately from the guns. The keys are hidden. My children do not and will not have access to these weapons. Allowing kids (or mentally unstable adults) access to firearms is stupid, irresponsible, and potentially deadly.
Would I give them up? Yes. I guess I keep them around because I don't know where they might end up if I got rid of them.
So why are people so attached to their guns? There are people who earnestly believe the NRA party-line that an armed citizenship is the reason that our country hasn't been invaded. That if they give up their high-powered rifles, we will be invaded by China or North Korea. Frankly, I think this is total bullshit. There is no legitimate non-military purpose for assault weapons (high-powered, semi-automatic rifles). These machines are made for killing people--there is no other purpose. They don't need to be owned by individuals.
What bothers me most is that we did have an assault weapon ban that was passed along with the Brady Bill. But it was written with a sunset provision (WTF?) and was sunsetted with little fanfare a few years ago. It was sunsetted after Columbine, after we had seen similar tragedies. Why was this bill ever sunsetted? And why did nobody care when it happened? Will anybody still care about this issue a year from now?
More importantly, did the assault-weapon ban do any good? My preliminary research shows not much. But maybe the Lanzas would not have been able to purchose those guns if the prior bill hadn't been sunsetted. (I have not seen anything indicating when they were purchased.)
I absolutely think the assault weapon ban should be renewed--but I don't think it's nearly enough. I don't have an answer, but the NRA's stance disgusts me. They are refusing to give an inch. I haven't heard anybody suggest that all guns should be banned, but the NRA refuses to consider any compromise. (And why does the NRA have so much power anyway? Can our legislators please grow some balls and refuse their money?). There should be limits. There should be background checks AND registration (I have multiple guns and never had to have a background check because I didn't buy them and I don't have to register them). There shouldn't be assault rifles or high-capacity magazines (but you aren't going to get rid of the ones people already own).
In my gun-loving state they are talking about arming teachers. This is the worst idea ever. Even though I have been trained, I'm a decent shot, and I have been using guns since I was very young, I have absolutely no confidence in my ability to take down a determined, armed intruder. I don't want guns in my kids' schools. I don't want minimally trained teachers making judgment calls involving guns (yeah, the same people who sent my kids home in a tornado--I think not.) I can only see more death and destruction--either accidentally or intentionally--coming from such an idiotic proposition.
At the end of the day, I think the Newtown shooting is largely the fault of Lanza's mother. I'm not sure any legislation would have prevented those horrific murders. But she purchased those weapons (and would have been the one subject to any background checks or registration laws). She did not keep them out of reach of her mentally ill child, and she was the person with the best knowledge of his mental state. Her lack of judgment cost 26 lives. If she weren't dead, she should be criminally prosecuted.
I was raised in a gun family. Pretty much everyone in my extended family owns an extensive collection of firearms of all shapes and sizes. I own several handguns and a shotgun (I have not purchased any--they were all gifted to me). I've been shooting since I was big enough to hold the barrel straight. I've fired everything from a tiny Derringer pistol to an AR-15 (yes, that would be an assault rifle). I do not hunt--I never had the desire or stomach for it. I can't imagine ever shooting a living thing, but I enjoy target shooting.
Do I need these guns? No, not really. Because of safety measures, they are useless for home defense. My guns are all locked up. The ammo is kept separately from the guns. The keys are hidden. My children do not and will not have access to these weapons. Allowing kids (or mentally unstable adults) access to firearms is stupid, irresponsible, and potentially deadly.
Would I give them up? Yes. I guess I keep them around because I don't know where they might end up if I got rid of them.
So why are people so attached to their guns? There are people who earnestly believe the NRA party-line that an armed citizenship is the reason that our country hasn't been invaded. That if they give up their high-powered rifles, we will be invaded by China or North Korea. Frankly, I think this is total bullshit. There is no legitimate non-military purpose for assault weapons (high-powered, semi-automatic rifles). These machines are made for killing people--there is no other purpose. They don't need to be owned by individuals.
What bothers me most is that we did have an assault weapon ban that was passed along with the Brady Bill. But it was written with a sunset provision (WTF?) and was sunsetted with little fanfare a few years ago. It was sunsetted after Columbine, after we had seen similar tragedies. Why was this bill ever sunsetted? And why did nobody care when it happened? Will anybody still care about this issue a year from now?
More importantly, did the assault-weapon ban do any good? My preliminary research shows not much. But maybe the Lanzas would not have been able to purchose those guns if the prior bill hadn't been sunsetted. (I have not seen anything indicating when they were purchased.)
I absolutely think the assault weapon ban should be renewed--but I don't think it's nearly enough. I don't have an answer, but the NRA's stance disgusts me. They are refusing to give an inch. I haven't heard anybody suggest that all guns should be banned, but the NRA refuses to consider any compromise. (And why does the NRA have so much power anyway? Can our legislators please grow some balls and refuse their money?). There should be limits. There should be background checks AND registration (I have multiple guns and never had to have a background check because I didn't buy them and I don't have to register them). There shouldn't be assault rifles or high-capacity magazines (but you aren't going to get rid of the ones people already own).
In my gun-loving state they are talking about arming teachers. This is the worst idea ever. Even though I have been trained, I'm a decent shot, and I have been using guns since I was very young, I have absolutely no confidence in my ability to take down a determined, armed intruder. I don't want guns in my kids' schools. I don't want minimally trained teachers making judgment calls involving guns (yeah, the same people who sent my kids home in a tornado--I think not.) I can only see more death and destruction--either accidentally or intentionally--coming from such an idiotic proposition.
At the end of the day, I think the Newtown shooting is largely the fault of Lanza's mother. I'm not sure any legislation would have prevented those horrific murders. But she purchased those weapons (and would have been the one subject to any background checks or registration laws). She did not keep them out of reach of her mentally ill child, and she was the person with the best knowledge of his mental state. Her lack of judgment cost 26 lives. If she weren't dead, she should be criminally prosecuted.
12/21/12
Freeeeeee!
Starting today I am off through New Year's Day. This is the longest I have ever taken off, although it's only 5 working days. And it's not without some guilt...we are super busy right now (ironic since half the reason I picked next week for vacation is because litigation is typically slow in December). Still, I'm so, so happy for the down time. I've already billed substantially more this month than I have in any one of the last several months, and it will be back to the grindstone as soon as I get back.
It has been a good week professionally for both DH and me. In addition to my victory on Monday, we found out late yesterday that we (mostly) survived summary judgment in another case. We took over this case about 3 weeks ago (2.5 years old, set for trial in Feb.) I had 3 days to learn the facts and law and to draft a response, and the prior lawyers had no faith we would survive SJ. But we did--yay! And Big Boss actually called me to thank me and acknowledge that I had done most of the heavy lifting to make it happen--that kind of acknowledgement never happens!
DH and I both got our reviews this week, too, which came with very nice financial surprises. This was especially good news for DH who works for a REIT and who's income has been a bit stagnant due to the economy (and hopefully telling of a general economic upswing). Mine came with talk of partnership--which has been mentioned before, but more in passing, and surprised me a bit because I'm only a 5th year. The gist was that it was discussed this year but decided against because of economic reasons (of which I am well aware), but is certainly on the table in the near future.
Now I have three days to shop, wrap and pack. Actually, the shopping is mostly done. I'm just debating whether I'm brave enough to endure the crowds to try to find an extra pair of jeans to take along (probably not--I hate shopping and crowds, there's is a reason God gave us the internet and UPS.)
It has been a good week professionally for both DH and me. In addition to my victory on Monday, we found out late yesterday that we (mostly) survived summary judgment in another case. We took over this case about 3 weeks ago (2.5 years old, set for trial in Feb.) I had 3 days to learn the facts and law and to draft a response, and the prior lawyers had no faith we would survive SJ. But we did--yay! And Big Boss actually called me to thank me and acknowledge that I had done most of the heavy lifting to make it happen--that kind of acknowledgement never happens!
DH and I both got our reviews this week, too, which came with very nice financial surprises. This was especially good news for DH who works for a REIT and who's income has been a bit stagnant due to the economy (and hopefully telling of a general economic upswing). Mine came with talk of partnership--which has been mentioned before, but more in passing, and surprised me a bit because I'm only a 5th year. The gist was that it was discussed this year but decided against because of economic reasons (of which I am well aware), but is certainly on the table in the near future.
Now I have three days to shop, wrap and pack. Actually, the shopping is mostly done. I'm just debating whether I'm brave enough to endure the crowds to try to find an extra pair of jeans to take along (probably not--I hate shopping and crowds, there's is a reason God gave us the internet and UPS.)
12/17/12
Life and Kids and Law
Work/life craziness (there is definitely no balance these days) has continued, culminating in a day of complete insanity (ok, probably not culminating--it is wishful thinking to believe this is the end.)
I have continued working crazy hours, and the only days I have left the office at a reasonable hour recently are when I have kid stuff going on, so I still don' t get home until late.
I had a briefing deadline on Friday, but I nevertheless volunteered to haul a carload of Girl Scouts to camp. Because surely my brief had to be finalized by 3:00 and I would be a-ok to leave (I know you're thinking, yeah right...but the judge was supposed to rule Monday, so he really needed the brief Friday afternoon if we had any expectation that he would read it.). So I ran my tail off Friday, and did manage to pull it off and leave the office at 3:00.
I was so focused on my brief that I didn't hear about the horrible news in Newtown until late in the day, and mostly on the radio on the way home. I was very glad that I had chosen that day to be home early and that I was going to get to spend a bit of extra time with my girlies on the long drive to camp. I don't think its possible to be a parent and not internalize something like that.
Got the girls dropped off at camp and finally made it back home at 9:30 Friday night--physically and emotionally exhausted. (Yes, I was comfortable leaving them there. Honestly, it seems like one of the safest places they could be.)
Saturday was DH's work party--which is always a fancy cocktail-attire affair. But I've been so busy lately that I hadn't had any time to shop. So I was out shopping at 7:30 Saturday morning, desperately seeking a cocktail dress, even though all I really wanted in life was to spend the day in my jammies watching insipid Christmas movies and eating ice cream from the carton. But I did find a dress and the party was nice and I drank a lot of vodka.
Sunday morning was the second 4-hour round trip to retrieve the Girl Scouts. As soon as we got back home, I headed to the office until 8:00 to prepare for a hearing that I had today.
And then today...
I had a significant evidentiary hearing set for this afternoon. My client and key witness was flying in from half-way across the country. At 10:00 this morning the court clerk called to inform me that the judge wasn't coming in and my hearing was cancelled.
Wait..what? But my client is on a plane right at this very minute for the sole purpose of attending this hearing. I begged and pleaded for another judge to hear the case. I did not want to inform my client that his cross-country trip was for naught.
The clerk was non-committal. Maybe she could dig up an associate judge, but it was doubtful.
I called the opposing attorney to tell him the situation. He immediately thanked his lucky stars and informed me he would be objecting to an associate judge (and if he did, the hearing would not go forward).
At 11:00 I called back to check on whether another judge had been found. Got voicemail.
Finally, at 11:30 I got a call from the clerk letting me know that another judge was available--an elected judge, not an associate judge--so no objection would stop the hearing from proceeding.
Of course, by that point, I had spend my morning scrambling instead of preparing. But I was thankful my client's time would not be wasted.
So the client shows up, I brief him on the issues, and we head to court. We were supposed to have 2 hours for our hearing. Instead we were given 20 minutes smushed in the middle of someone else's hearing (and so there was a gallery-full of attorney's observing). I was flustered and my opening was wobbly, but my closing was much better. Oh, and I got the judge to change her ruling on a piece of significant evidence when I spit out a statute that neither she nor the other attorney had ever heard of. Score!
And we won! Well..mostly. There is an issue regarding one of our damages elements that the judge wants briefed. In 7 days. So, yeah, that makes my briefing deadline on Christmas Day. And I'm supposed to be on vacation starting Friday and will be in DC on Christmas and the day following (which would be the true due date). So I guess I have three days to brief this issue that I haven't researched at all and have no clue which way the law will blow. Fun! Because I have plenty of time to add another brief to my over-loaded docket full of loose ends that need to be tied before I leave on vacation. (And to think I picked this time because December is usually slow in litigation!)
I have continued working crazy hours, and the only days I have left the office at a reasonable hour recently are when I have kid stuff going on, so I still don' t get home until late.
I had a briefing deadline on Friday, but I nevertheless volunteered to haul a carload of Girl Scouts to camp. Because surely my brief had to be finalized by 3:00 and I would be a-ok to leave (I know you're thinking, yeah right...but the judge was supposed to rule Monday, so he really needed the brief Friday afternoon if we had any expectation that he would read it.). So I ran my tail off Friday, and did manage to pull it off and leave the office at 3:00.
I was so focused on my brief that I didn't hear about the horrible news in Newtown until late in the day, and mostly on the radio on the way home. I was very glad that I had chosen that day to be home early and that I was going to get to spend a bit of extra time with my girlies on the long drive to camp. I don't think its possible to be a parent and not internalize something like that.
Got the girls dropped off at camp and finally made it back home at 9:30 Friday night--physically and emotionally exhausted. (Yes, I was comfortable leaving them there. Honestly, it seems like one of the safest places they could be.)
Saturday was DH's work party--which is always a fancy cocktail-attire affair. But I've been so busy lately that I hadn't had any time to shop. So I was out shopping at 7:30 Saturday morning, desperately seeking a cocktail dress, even though all I really wanted in life was to spend the day in my jammies watching insipid Christmas movies and eating ice cream from the carton. But I did find a dress and the party was nice and I drank a lot of vodka.
Sunday morning was the second 4-hour round trip to retrieve the Girl Scouts. As soon as we got back home, I headed to the office until 8:00 to prepare for a hearing that I had today.
And then today...
I had a significant evidentiary hearing set for this afternoon. My client and key witness was flying in from half-way across the country. At 10:00 this morning the court clerk called to inform me that the judge wasn't coming in and my hearing was cancelled.
Wait..what? But my client is on a plane right at this very minute for the sole purpose of attending this hearing. I begged and pleaded for another judge to hear the case. I did not want to inform my client that his cross-country trip was for naught.
The clerk was non-committal. Maybe she could dig up an associate judge, but it was doubtful.
I called the opposing attorney to tell him the situation. He immediately thanked his lucky stars and informed me he would be objecting to an associate judge (and if he did, the hearing would not go forward).
At 11:00 I called back to check on whether another judge had been found. Got voicemail.
Finally, at 11:30 I got a call from the clerk letting me know that another judge was available--an elected judge, not an associate judge--so no objection would stop the hearing from proceeding.
Of course, by that point, I had spend my morning scrambling instead of preparing. But I was thankful my client's time would not be wasted.
So the client shows up, I brief him on the issues, and we head to court. We were supposed to have 2 hours for our hearing. Instead we were given 20 minutes smushed in the middle of someone else's hearing (and so there was a gallery-full of attorney's observing). I was flustered and my opening was wobbly, but my closing was much better. Oh, and I got the judge to change her ruling on a piece of significant evidence when I spit out a statute that neither she nor the other attorney had ever heard of. Score!
And we won! Well..mostly. There is an issue regarding one of our damages elements that the judge wants briefed. In 7 days. So, yeah, that makes my briefing deadline on Christmas Day. And I'm supposed to be on vacation starting Friday and will be in DC on Christmas and the day following (which would be the true due date). So I guess I have three days to brief this issue that I haven't researched at all and have no clue which way the law will blow. Fun! Because I have plenty of time to add another brief to my over-loaded docket full of loose ends that need to be tied before I leave on vacation. (And to think I picked this time because December is usually slow in litigation!)
12/9/12
Morning Sickness
No, I don't have it. I'm way past those days, thank goodness. But the world is all atwitter about Kate having hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), and this is something that I am most definitely an expert in. I previously posted about it here.
First, comparing hyperemesis to morning sickness is like comparing eczema to leprosy. It always drove me crazy when it would come up in conversation and someone would say, "oh yes, I had terrible morning sickness, too. I threw up every day." Or oh yes, "but I had all day sickness, I would be nauseated in the morning and throw up at 4:00 every afternoon." Still not the same. HG is the reason I will never have any more children (on my doctor's advice).
For me, HG meant debilitating nausea and vomiting 24/7, for months. I was never not nauseated. I couldn't eat or drink anything without vomiting. The best (and very expensive) anti-nausea medication on the market couldn't even touch my nausea. So I stopped eating and drinking. And still, I vomited bile over and over again, all day long.
Working was out of the question. I became so weak that I couldn't even walk to the bathroom or lift my arms over my head long enough to comb my hair. I spent weeks in the hospital and more weeks receiving IV fluids at home. I dropped nearly 30 pounds, and I was not overweight to begin with. My hair fell out in clumps.
Second, HG doesn't automatically mean twins. I had HG during three pregnancies, and only one was twins (I had a miscarriage between PS and the twins.) In fact, my mother was furious when I got pregnant with the twins, because I had been so very sick with my previous two pregnancies. However, the HG was about 10 times worse with the twins. In fact, I finally asked my doctors about the possibility of multiples because it was so much worse than with my previous pregnancies. They kind of blew off this suggestion, but I was given an ultrasound the next day (this was still very early--maybe 8 weeks), and lo and behold, there were two babies in there.
With that pregnancy, I was hospitalized for weeks--no home care this time around. I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's in the hospital. PS was sent to stay with her grandparents for weeks at a time, which was absolute torture for me. Nothing controlled the nausea. My doctors told me that I was starving to death. That I should consider terminating my pregnancy because it was wrecking my body. Mine was the worst case of HG my doctors had ever encountered, and that period was absolutely the worst period of my entire life.
I was eventually given a feeding tube, which I vomited up within hours. And then I was given a central line. Eventually, one of my docs found an experimental treatment involving massive doses of steroids. It took a few tries, but eventually it worked--by then I was well into my 5th month.
Obviously, the babies and I all survived with no ill effects (and there is no indication that the HG caused my miscarriage). But I always feel some obligation to educate about HG. Because I've heard so many comments like, "I had morning sickness and I worked every day of my pregnancy." It's just not the same. You can't suck it up and deal with HG because it completely overtakes you.
First, comparing hyperemesis to morning sickness is like comparing eczema to leprosy. It always drove me crazy when it would come up in conversation and someone would say, "oh yes, I had terrible morning sickness, too. I threw up every day." Or oh yes, "but I had all day sickness, I would be nauseated in the morning and throw up at 4:00 every afternoon." Still not the same. HG is the reason I will never have any more children (on my doctor's advice).
For me, HG meant debilitating nausea and vomiting 24/7, for months. I was never not nauseated. I couldn't eat or drink anything without vomiting. The best (and very expensive) anti-nausea medication on the market couldn't even touch my nausea. So I stopped eating and drinking. And still, I vomited bile over and over again, all day long.
Working was out of the question. I became so weak that I couldn't even walk to the bathroom or lift my arms over my head long enough to comb my hair. I spent weeks in the hospital and more weeks receiving IV fluids at home. I dropped nearly 30 pounds, and I was not overweight to begin with. My hair fell out in clumps.
Second, HG doesn't automatically mean twins. I had HG during three pregnancies, and only one was twins (I had a miscarriage between PS and the twins.) In fact, my mother was furious when I got pregnant with the twins, because I had been so very sick with my previous two pregnancies. However, the HG was about 10 times worse with the twins. In fact, I finally asked my doctors about the possibility of multiples because it was so much worse than with my previous pregnancies. They kind of blew off this suggestion, but I was given an ultrasound the next day (this was still very early--maybe 8 weeks), and lo and behold, there were two babies in there.
With that pregnancy, I was hospitalized for weeks--no home care this time around. I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's in the hospital. PS was sent to stay with her grandparents for weeks at a time, which was absolute torture for me. Nothing controlled the nausea. My doctors told me that I was starving to death. That I should consider terminating my pregnancy because it was wrecking my body. Mine was the worst case of HG my doctors had ever encountered, and that period was absolutely the worst period of my entire life.
I was eventually given a feeding tube, which I vomited up within hours. And then I was given a central line. Eventually, one of my docs found an experimental treatment involving massive doses of steroids. It took a few tries, but eventually it worked--by then I was well into my 5th month.
Obviously, the babies and I all survived with no ill effects (and there is no indication that the HG caused my miscarriage). But I always feel some obligation to educate about HG. Because I've heard so many comments like, "I had morning sickness and I worked every day of my pregnancy." It's just not the same. You can't suck it up and deal with HG because it completely overtakes you.
12/4/12
Pooped
After working all weekend and billing twice my weekly average over the last week, I am pooped. Once upon a time I was used to billing a gazillion hours a month, but that is no longer the norm and I almost forgot the zombie-like state that goes along with it.
But we hit a deadline this afternoon, so I cut out at 4:00 (after working until 11:00 last night and being back in the office at 8 this morning) . PS and I have theater tickets tonight, and I am glad to have a bit of time at home and hanging out with my girlies before starting the commute back into Big City to see our show. I hope I don't fall asleep. I may need to hit Starbucks on the way.
I think the twins have taken advantage of my exhausted brain and talked me into a sleepover this weekend. They seem to have made a bunch of new friends this year (despite being their 7th year in this school), and I haven't met most of them. This should give me a chance to meet them and, hopefully, their parents. We've just got to squeeze it in between volleyball and more volleyball and caroling with the girl scouts. But this weekend looks better than any other over the next 6 weeks or so.
The good news is that tomorrow's hump day. Let's just hope I actually get a weekend this weekend.
But we hit a deadline this afternoon, so I cut out at 4:00 (after working until 11:00 last night and being back in the office at 8 this morning) . PS and I have theater tickets tonight, and I am glad to have a bit of time at home and hanging out with my girlies before starting the commute back into Big City to see our show. I hope I don't fall asleep. I may need to hit Starbucks on the way.
I think the twins have taken advantage of my exhausted brain and talked me into a sleepover this weekend. They seem to have made a bunch of new friends this year (despite being their 7th year in this school), and I haven't met most of them. This should give me a chance to meet them and, hopefully, their parents. We've just got to squeeze it in between volleyball and more volleyball and caroling with the girl scouts. But this weekend looks better than any other over the next 6 weeks or so.
The good news is that tomorrow's hump day. Let's just hope I actually get a weekend this weekend.
11/28/12
Best Compliment Ever
I had a tough mediation today. My clients were a group of tough New Yorkers with semi-intimidating Long Island accents whom I had not previously met. But it turned out that they were just the nicest people.
And even though, as is typical in any mediation, nobody was thrilled with the outcome at the end of the day, one of the clients said, "You know, I've had to deal with a lot of lawyers in my life, and you are one of my favorites."
And even though, as is typical in any mediation, nobody was thrilled with the outcome at the end of the day, one of the clients said, "You know, I've had to deal with a lot of lawyers in my life, and you are one of my favorites."
11/24/12
Thankful to be Home
I am so glad to be back at my home after our Turkey Day trip to Hometown. I will admit that I much prefer staying home and hosting Thanksgiving. I love to go all out and cook all of our favorite, delicious things. The trip to Hometown wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but it wasn't great, either.
We stayed with DH's sister, which the kids LOVED because they got to party with their cousins for three days. But they like to stay up super late, and had company over super late most nights, so we are all wiped out from the late nights.
We had Thanksgiving with MIL's family. It was the first time we had seen many of them since her funeral, and her absence was noticeable. The kids had a good time, though. The hosts live in the country and raise horses. All of the cousins had a grand time building forts out of hay bales and chasing the resident dogs and cats around the barn. And there were wild deer that would practically walk right up to you (Fortunately, it was a protected area, because the guys were planning their demise, since we're right in the middle of deer season.)
The next day was dinner with my Dad, brother and grandparents. My dad and grandfather got into a rather loud spat in the middle of the restaurant. My grandfather is about to turn 85 and has Alzheimer's, which become significantly more noticeable with every visit. He knows it and it frustrates him, and although he has always had a bit of a temper, his fuse is much shorter. His personality has just changed with the progression of this disease. My dad, who is also a hothead, does not seem to get that his dad is not the same anymore. So he gets frustrated and angry when Pop gets frustrated and angry. And it just escalates from there. So yeah, that made for a nice family dinner.
We rounded out the day with DH's dad and siblings. We just ordered pizza and sang (very bad) karaoke in BIL's new tricked out game room (complete with laser lights and a disco ball). That was fun, and I'm sure there is some very embarrassing video floating around now.
Then we woke up this morning to head home. And it appears DH has picked up a nasty stomach virus. So we stopped at just about every little town on our 400 mile trek so DH could puke. I felt so bad for him being stuck in the car while feeling so miserable. (And I am selfishly panicked that he will pass this on to me because I have a mediation on Wednesday and everybody except for me and the mediator is flying in from New York and it is my client so nobody else in my firm has worked on this case and I have no idea what I will do if I couldn't handle this mediation.)
And I got a speeding ticket. Because, when coming out of a tiny town, I started accelerating when I saw the speed limit increase sign instead of after I passed it. Damn speedtrap. I've driven this route at least 40 times in my life and I know not to speed in the little towns. The officer admitted that I was a block and a half from the speed limit increase and that I could clearly see the sign from where he clocked me. At least it's about the cheapest speeding ticked I've ever gotten (and I get one every year.). Grumble.
But we're home. DH is still in misery, but at least he's no longer trapped in a moving vehicle. The kids are in a post-cousin-party hangover. And I'm just happy to be out of the car and back in my own home.
We stayed with DH's sister, which the kids LOVED because they got to party with their cousins for three days. But they like to stay up super late, and had company over super late most nights, so we are all wiped out from the late nights.
We had Thanksgiving with MIL's family. It was the first time we had seen many of them since her funeral, and her absence was noticeable. The kids had a good time, though. The hosts live in the country and raise horses. All of the cousins had a grand time building forts out of hay bales and chasing the resident dogs and cats around the barn. And there were wild deer that would practically walk right up to you (Fortunately, it was a protected area, because the guys were planning their demise, since we're right in the middle of deer season.)
The next day was dinner with my Dad, brother and grandparents. My dad and grandfather got into a rather loud spat in the middle of the restaurant. My grandfather is about to turn 85 and has Alzheimer's, which become significantly more noticeable with every visit. He knows it and it frustrates him, and although he has always had a bit of a temper, his fuse is much shorter. His personality has just changed with the progression of this disease. My dad, who is also a hothead, does not seem to get that his dad is not the same anymore. So he gets frustrated and angry when Pop gets frustrated and angry. And it just escalates from there. So yeah, that made for a nice family dinner.
We rounded out the day with DH's dad and siblings. We just ordered pizza and sang (very bad) karaoke in BIL's new tricked out game room (complete with laser lights and a disco ball). That was fun, and I'm sure there is some very embarrassing video floating around now.
Then we woke up this morning to head home. And it appears DH has picked up a nasty stomach virus. So we stopped at just about every little town on our 400 mile trek so DH could puke. I felt so bad for him being stuck in the car while feeling so miserable. (And I am selfishly panicked that he will pass this on to me because I have a mediation on Wednesday and everybody except for me and the mediator is flying in from New York and it is my client so nobody else in my firm has worked on this case and I have no idea what I will do if I couldn't handle this mediation.)
And I got a speeding ticket. Because, when coming out of a tiny town, I started accelerating when I saw the speed limit increase sign instead of after I passed it. Damn speedtrap. I've driven this route at least 40 times in my life and I know not to speed in the little towns. The officer admitted that I was a block and a half from the speed limit increase and that I could clearly see the sign from where he clocked me. At least it's about the cheapest speeding ticked I've ever gotten (and I get one every year.). Grumble.
But we're home. DH is still in misery, but at least he's no longer trapped in a moving vehicle. The kids are in a post-cousin-party hangover. And I'm just happy to be out of the car and back in my own home.
11/18/12
Holiday in the Capital
This week I booked our flight to spend Christmas in Washington D.C. I am ridiculously excited. I've been planning this trip for months, but it didn't feel real until I plunked down the cash to actually get us there.
This will be the twins' first flight. With five of us, it tends to be budget-breakingly expensive to fly anywhere. And the thought of flying with three kids and all their stuff just freaked me out when they were younger. But I managed to score a great deal on airfare (thank you Kayak and Bing travel), making it almost break-even with the cost of driving+two extra nights hotel+crazy parking costs in DC. To get this awesome deal we will be flying on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, which is not perfect, but it's ok. I had already reserved passes for Christmas Eve services at the National cathedral, so my only concern with flying in on Christmas Eve was getting in early enough for that, and absent any major hiccups we should be ok.
I also contacted our congressman months ago to line up tours. I was a bit surprised that anything was available that week, and sadly, the White House is not giving tours then. But we will get to tour the Capitol and I will get to tour the Supreme Court (they didn't have space for the five of us, and I think the rest of the family was relieved to get out of the Supreme Court tour, anyway). I also asked for gallery passes for both the House and Senate. I don't really think they will be in session then, but with the Jan 1 fiscal cliff deadline, I thought it was within the realm of possibility.
We will be spending Christmas Day at Mount Vernon, which seems to be the only place open, and I'm thankful there's that. I think it will be pretty cool to spend Christmas at GW's house. I'm trying to talk the family into seeing White Christmas at the Kennedy Center that night, but they are resisting. No one else shares my love of musical theater.
The rest of the week we will be hitting the museums and monuments. We love museums, but I'm a little bit afraid we might get museumed out. If anyone has any suggestions for not-to-miss attractions, I'd love to hear them. I've never been to DC before, and I'm a bit overwhelmed by how much there is to do.
Now, if we can just survive Thanksgiving. It is truly my favorite holiday, and I love cooking Thanksgiving dinner. But this year we are going to Hometown and I am not cooking and not at all excited about that trip. I can do anything for three days, right?
This will be the twins' first flight. With five of us, it tends to be budget-breakingly expensive to fly anywhere. And the thought of flying with three kids and all their stuff just freaked me out when they were younger. But I managed to score a great deal on airfare (thank you Kayak and Bing travel), making it almost break-even with the cost of driving+two extra nights hotel+crazy parking costs in DC. To get this awesome deal we will be flying on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, which is not perfect, but it's ok. I had already reserved passes for Christmas Eve services at the National cathedral, so my only concern with flying in on Christmas Eve was getting in early enough for that, and absent any major hiccups we should be ok.
I also contacted our congressman months ago to line up tours. I was a bit surprised that anything was available that week, and sadly, the White House is not giving tours then. But we will get to tour the Capitol and I will get to tour the Supreme Court (they didn't have space for the five of us, and I think the rest of the family was relieved to get out of the Supreme Court tour, anyway). I also asked for gallery passes for both the House and Senate. I don't really think they will be in session then, but with the Jan 1 fiscal cliff deadline, I thought it was within the realm of possibility.
We will be spending Christmas Day at Mount Vernon, which seems to be the only place open, and I'm thankful there's that. I think it will be pretty cool to spend Christmas at GW's house. I'm trying to talk the family into seeing White Christmas at the Kennedy Center that night, but they are resisting. No one else shares my love of musical theater.
The rest of the week we will be hitting the museums and monuments. We love museums, but I'm a little bit afraid we might get museumed out. If anyone has any suggestions for not-to-miss attractions, I'd love to hear them. I've never been to DC before, and I'm a bit overwhelmed by how much there is to do.
Now, if we can just survive Thanksgiving. It is truly my favorite holiday, and I love cooking Thanksgiving dinner. But this year we are going to Hometown and I am not cooking and not at all excited about that trip. I can do anything for three days, right?
11/14/12
Boys and Cars
So PS has made a whole new batch of friends in high school--mostly through her robotics club. Which also means that most of her new friends are boys.
I am not at all excited about this. She claims that they are all just friends. But still--boys? And she is so private, I don't think she would tell me if any of them were more than friends. They are also mostly older boys. Juniors. Boys who can drive. Boys with cars.
One offered her a ride home from Robotics last week. He lives around the block. It would be oh so convenient.
Um, no. 1) I don't want her in the car with a new driver. 2) I don't want her in the car with a boy. 3) I don't want her in the car with an older boy.
DH thinks I'm being a bit to spazzy about this. That's because DH was a nice boy. He actually asked before he tried to kiss me the first time. But I dated lots of other boys and they were not so nice. I dated a senior as a freshman, and it was a constant battle to keep his hands from roaming under my clothes. And he was not the only one. Nope, there is no way in Hell my freshman daughter will be going anywhere with junior or senior boys. At least not in a car.
I am not at all excited about this. She claims that they are all just friends. But still--boys? And she is so private, I don't think she would tell me if any of them were more than friends. They are also mostly older boys. Juniors. Boys who can drive. Boys with cars.
One offered her a ride home from Robotics last week. He lives around the block. It would be oh so convenient.
Um, no. 1) I don't want her in the car with a new driver. 2) I don't want her in the car with a boy. 3) I don't want her in the car with an older boy.
DH thinks I'm being a bit to spazzy about this. That's because DH was a nice boy. He actually asked before he tried to kiss me the first time. But I dated lots of other boys and they were not so nice. I dated a senior as a freshman, and it was a constant battle to keep his hands from roaming under my clothes. And he was not the only one. Nope, there is no way in Hell my freshman daughter will be going anywhere with junior or senior boys. At least not in a car.
11/12/12
Interesting...
So when I was leaving the courthouse in Hometown last week after proving up my brother's divorce, I ran into my 5th Grade Arch-Nemesis. I knew he was a lawyer in Hometown, so I wasn't especially surprised to see him, although he looked shocked to see me. We chatted for a minute and then parted ways.
Arch-Nemesis and I spent most of the 5th and 6th grades tormenting one another. We were in a full-day GT program that mingled with other classes only for Art and PE. Being a GT class, it was much different from most of the other classes I had. Instead of desks, we had tables, grouped together in little sections throughout the room. We chose where we sat, and my group of friends always sat on one side of a long table, with Arch-Nemesis and his buddies on the other side. I have no idea why we endured this arrangement for two years--or why our teacher put up with our bickering all that time. We were also given much more freedom than standard classes, and had many, many debates over those two years. I knew a whole lot more about politics and current events in the 5th and 6th grades than most adults did.
This setting left ample opportunity for Arch-Nemesis and me to relentlessly argue and hurl insults at one another. It is not at all surprising that the two of us grew up to become lawyers.*
But we each moved on and grew up. We had fewer classes together and didn't really have much to do with each other after those two years. Interestingly, we both transferred from our original high school to another high school our junior year. Even with us both being the new kids, we continued to ignore each other.
But he did become buddies with my future DH. And so DH knows Arch-Nemesis in a completely different way than I did. I knew him as a 12-year-old pain in the ass, and DH knew him as a 16 year-old crazy teenager.
Then I went off to college. And Arch-Nemesis went to the same college. DH and I would occasionally run into him. He worked at Sears selling vacuums, I worked for a satellite television company and set up his account.
And then he eventually became FB friends with DH, because they were casual friends in HS. But he never friended me and I never friended him (because I never friended anybody--all my friends friended me first--I guess I have a fear of rejection).
Sooooo, anyway, after I got back from Hometown, Arch-Nemesis send DH a message saying, "hey, I saw LC, it was great seeing her, tell her if she has something like a prove-up again to let me know, I'd be happy to help out." And that was nice and I though I would send Arch-Nemesis a friend request, because the professional connection wouldn't be a bad thing, but then I cancelled FB before I did it.
But then tonight Arch-Nemesis sent DH another message via FB that said something like, "Hey, I don't know if LC has said something about it, but I was a real dick to her in 5th grade, and it's really been on my mind lately."
So I guess I should respond. The funny thing is, I truly don't harbor any ill will for Arch-Nemesis. It was kind of like battling with my brother. It's not like I felt bullied and am holding some secret resentment. But I guess I should let him off the hook and tell him that.
Besides, I get it. There were a couple of people in my school years that I could have been nicer to. I have apologized to some of them, but I hate the fact that I might have made someone's junior high or high school years harder than they should have been.
So I understand wanting to clear your conscience. It just seems strange to be coming via my husband.
Arch-Nemesis and I spent most of the 5th and 6th grades tormenting one another. We were in a full-day GT program that mingled with other classes only for Art and PE. Being a GT class, it was much different from most of the other classes I had. Instead of desks, we had tables, grouped together in little sections throughout the room. We chose where we sat, and my group of friends always sat on one side of a long table, with Arch-Nemesis and his buddies on the other side. I have no idea why we endured this arrangement for two years--or why our teacher put up with our bickering all that time. We were also given much more freedom than standard classes, and had many, many debates over those two years. I knew a whole lot more about politics and current events in the 5th and 6th grades than most adults did.
This setting left ample opportunity for Arch-Nemesis and me to relentlessly argue and hurl insults at one another. It is not at all surprising that the two of us grew up to become lawyers.*
But we each moved on and grew up. We had fewer classes together and didn't really have much to do with each other after those two years. Interestingly, we both transferred from our original high school to another high school our junior year. Even with us both being the new kids, we continued to ignore each other.
But he did become buddies with my future DH. And so DH knows Arch-Nemesis in a completely different way than I did. I knew him as a 12-year-old pain in the ass, and DH knew him as a 16 year-old crazy teenager.
Then I went off to college. And Arch-Nemesis went to the same college. DH and I would occasionally run into him. He worked at Sears selling vacuums, I worked for a satellite television company and set up his account.
And then he eventually became FB friends with DH, because they were casual friends in HS. But he never friended me and I never friended him (because I never friended anybody--all my friends friended me first--I guess I have a fear of rejection).
Sooooo, anyway, after I got back from Hometown, Arch-Nemesis send DH a message saying, "hey, I saw LC, it was great seeing her, tell her if she has something like a prove-up again to let me know, I'd be happy to help out." And that was nice and I though I would send Arch-Nemesis a friend request, because the professional connection wouldn't be a bad thing, but then I cancelled FB before I did it.
But then tonight Arch-Nemesis sent DH another message via FB that said something like, "Hey, I don't know if LC has said something about it, but I was a real dick to her in 5th grade, and it's really been on my mind lately."
So I guess I should respond. The funny thing is, I truly don't harbor any ill will for Arch-Nemesis. It was kind of like battling with my brother. It's not like I felt bullied and am holding some secret resentment. But I guess I should let him off the hook and tell him that.
Besides, I get it. There were a couple of people in my school years that I could have been nicer to. I have apologized to some of them, but I hate the fact that I might have made someone's junior high or high school years harder than they should have been.
So I understand wanting to clear your conscience. It just seems strange to be coming via my husband.
11/11/12
Over and Out
So, I deactivated my Facebook account this week. I've been thinking about it for a while, but the political maelstrom is what finally drove me over the edge. You would think it would have happened before the election, but in fact, it was the aftermath.The self-righteous, covertly-racist, you-must-be-an-idiot-if-you-don't-see-things-my-way pre-election posts were awful. But the-sky-is-falling-and-Obama-supporters-made-this-happen posts afterward were truly intolerable.
Seriously? You seriously believe that armageddon is coming because Obama was re-elected? You truly, in your hear-of-hearts believe that we will be under Chinese rule within 4 years? That you need to start stockpiling guns and staples? Seriously?
Indeed, there are people on my feed who believe all of that bullshit.
I grew up in a mid-sized city that was, in a word, it was homogeneous. Mostly all while, mostly all protestant. There were a few Hispanics thrown in, along with a small Catholic population that was barely tolerated. (My own grandparents told me I was going to Hell for marrying a Catholic.) I didn't go to school with any black students until high school--and they were bussed in from another part of town and were not in any of my honors classes. I think we had one Asian kid and one Indian kid. No Jews. No Muslims. No Mormons. Everybody went to church, usually on Sunday morning and evenings and on Wednesday nights, too.
It is not surprising that area is strongly right-wing Republican. Practically the birthplace of the Tea Party. And I saw the world through the exact same lens as all of them until I got the hell out.
I've said often that the smartest thing I've ever done is get out of of there. To raise my children in an area where they have friends of many faiths and colors and political beliefs. My kids were stunned when they learned about slavery in school. They couldn't imagine that people could be treated that way because of the color of their skin. I grew up in an environment where the "N-word" was thrown around freely and open racism made slavery not such a big surprise. Today, the racism is more subtle, but intolerance still abounds. My aunt recently announced that it was just too bad that a dear family friend was going to hell, regardless of the many charitable works he has done, because he just came out of the closet.
And so the election brought back all the reasons why I will never go back to Hometown. Because I learned to think for myself, instead of just accepting the crap I had been spoon-fed my entire life. I guess I though that my peers from Hometown would have similarly evolved. Not so much.
Interestingly, those that still live in Hometown, still follow (literally) the party line. Those that have moved away, generally, do not. They are more open to at least consider the other side of the story, no matter which side they come out on at the end of the day. Those that are still there seem stunned that there is another viewpoint. Did the ones that moved away do so because they were more open-minded to begin with? Or did breaking away from the homogeneous bubble of Hometown make them more open-minded?
For the record, I am an Independent. I voted a split ticket, after researching all of the elections on my ballot. My presidential vote was largely decided by social issues and by who would likely be making Supreme Court appointments over the next four years (especially in light of Ginsburg's health). I am intolerant of intolerance. Of legislating religious beliefs with no other legitimate support. And I don't really care how you voted. But don't act like I'm a moron because of the way I voted. Like my vote is leading to your demise. I am many things, but I am not stupid and I put a whole lot of thought and research into my vote.
So I gave up Facebook because I was starting to hate people that I had previously liked and respected. And because it seemed better to end our cyber relationships before they infected the real ones.
We'll see what happens. If I will eventually go back, or if I'm truly done. PS has staunchly refused to get on FB--perhaps the only 14-year-old girl in the world to make this decision. She may be the smartest person I know.
Seriously? You seriously believe that armageddon is coming because Obama was re-elected? You truly, in your hear-of-hearts believe that we will be under Chinese rule within 4 years? That you need to start stockpiling guns and staples? Seriously?
Indeed, there are people on my feed who believe all of that bullshit.
I grew up in a mid-sized city that was, in a word, it was homogeneous. Mostly all while, mostly all protestant. There were a few Hispanics thrown in, along with a small Catholic population that was barely tolerated. (My own grandparents told me I was going to Hell for marrying a Catholic.) I didn't go to school with any black students until high school--and they were bussed in from another part of town and were not in any of my honors classes. I think we had one Asian kid and one Indian kid. No Jews. No Muslims. No Mormons. Everybody went to church, usually on Sunday morning and evenings and on Wednesday nights, too.
It is not surprising that area is strongly right-wing Republican. Practically the birthplace of the Tea Party. And I saw the world through the exact same lens as all of them until I got the hell out.
I've said often that the smartest thing I've ever done is get out of of there. To raise my children in an area where they have friends of many faiths and colors and political beliefs. My kids were stunned when they learned about slavery in school. They couldn't imagine that people could be treated that way because of the color of their skin. I grew up in an environment where the "N-word" was thrown around freely and open racism made slavery not such a big surprise. Today, the racism is more subtle, but intolerance still abounds. My aunt recently announced that it was just too bad that a dear family friend was going to hell, regardless of the many charitable works he has done, because he just came out of the closet.
And so the election brought back all the reasons why I will never go back to Hometown. Because I learned to think for myself, instead of just accepting the crap I had been spoon-fed my entire life. I guess I though that my peers from Hometown would have similarly evolved. Not so much.
Interestingly, those that still live in Hometown, still follow (literally) the party line. Those that have moved away, generally, do not. They are more open to at least consider the other side of the story, no matter which side they come out on at the end of the day. Those that are still there seem stunned that there is another viewpoint. Did the ones that moved away do so because they were more open-minded to begin with? Or did breaking away from the homogeneous bubble of Hometown make them more open-minded?
For the record, I am an Independent. I voted a split ticket, after researching all of the elections on my ballot. My presidential vote was largely decided by social issues and by who would likely be making Supreme Court appointments over the next four years (especially in light of Ginsburg's health). I am intolerant of intolerance. Of legislating religious beliefs with no other legitimate support. And I don't really care how you voted. But don't act like I'm a moron because of the way I voted. Like my vote is leading to your demise. I am many things, but I am not stupid and I put a whole lot of thought and research into my vote.
So I gave up Facebook because I was starting to hate people that I had previously liked and respected. And because it seemed better to end our cyber relationships before they infected the real ones.
We'll see what happens. If I will eventually go back, or if I'm truly done. PS has staunchly refused to get on FB--perhaps the only 14-year-old girl in the world to make this decision. She may be the smartest person I know.
11/7/12
Divorce Flowers
I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Life just got really busy.
So, I've been handling my brother's divorce. Generally, my mantra is "I don't do family or criminal law." I only got involved in this one because of my nieces. Otherwise, I would have left him to handle is on his own. Anyway, it was set for trial last Friday. There was a whole lot of unnecessary drama that caused my stress levels to escalate through the roof. But in the end, there was a last minute agreement, and it was good to have it done.
So I drove to Hometown late Thursday afternoon, had the hearing Friday morning, filed my mother-in-laws probate proceeding (it will be 3 years in February) had lunch with my grandparents and their friends at the Dairy Queen where I was introduced as "this is our beautiful granddaughter, she's a lawyer" was grilled by the friends on why I wasn't traveling with a firearm since I was alone.
I finally drove home late Friday night, and was up early Saturday because DH and the girls had a race followed by TT's double-header softball games.
Because of the divorce mess, I had procrastinated on another deadline for Monday, and spent all day Sunday at the office.And on Monday my dad sent a huge bouquet to thank me for handling my brother's divorce. Everyone who asks about the flowers finds it quite amusing that I got them for ending my brother's marriage. My new mantra is "I will never do another divorce." I've done two before and didn't like it then, but this one was truly awful. But the flowers are pretty.
In other news, a student at PS's school was murdered last week, so that threw us off kilter. Our little town has only had two murders. Ever. There's really not much crime here and maybe we all have a bit of a false sense of security. It was truly shocking and tragic.
There was also a murder less than a block from my office in Big City, and the next day a kidnapping at a mall across the street. That does not leave me particularly excited to be leaving my building alone after dark.
And then our guinea pig died. The twins took it much harder than expected, so tonight we buried it and had a little memorial service and the girls wrote poems about her.
So, yeah, it's been a little crazy around here. But crazy is the norm. The good news is that this coming weekend is our first free weekend in a couple of weeks. Yay!
So, I've been handling my brother's divorce. Generally, my mantra is "I don't do family or criminal law." I only got involved in this one because of my nieces. Otherwise, I would have left him to handle is on his own. Anyway, it was set for trial last Friday. There was a whole lot of unnecessary drama that caused my stress levels to escalate through the roof. But in the end, there was a last minute agreement, and it was good to have it done.
So I drove to Hometown late Thursday afternoon, had the hearing Friday morning, filed my mother-in-laws probate proceeding (it will be 3 years in February) had lunch with my grandparents and their friends at the Dairy Queen where I was introduced as "this is our beautiful granddaughter, she's a lawyer" was grilled by the friends on why I wasn't traveling with a firearm since I was alone.
I finally drove home late Friday night, and was up early Saturday because DH and the girls had a race followed by TT's double-header softball games.
Because of the divorce mess, I had procrastinated on another deadline for Monday, and spent all day Sunday at the office.And on Monday my dad sent a huge bouquet to thank me for handling my brother's divorce. Everyone who asks about the flowers finds it quite amusing that I got them for ending my brother's marriage. My new mantra is "I will never do another divorce." I've done two before and didn't like it then, but this one was truly awful. But the flowers are pretty.
In other news, a student at PS's school was murdered last week, so that threw us off kilter. Our little town has only had two murders. Ever. There's really not much crime here and maybe we all have a bit of a false sense of security. It was truly shocking and tragic.
There was also a murder less than a block from my office in Big City, and the next day a kidnapping at a mall across the street. That does not leave me particularly excited to be leaving my building alone after dark.
And then our guinea pig died. The twins took it much harder than expected, so tonight we buried it and had a little memorial service and the girls wrote poems about her.
So, yeah, it's been a little crazy around here. But crazy is the norm. The good news is that this coming weekend is our first free weekend in a couple of weeks. Yay!
10/21/12
Crappy Cake Week
So this week was the busiest I've had in months. I like busy. Busy makes me happy. But this was stressful busy. There was a lot of unnecessary tension and by Friday afternoon my staff was practically cowering in the corner (and my secretary was literally in tears). Why do so many lawyers create their own emergencies? Procrastination is not your friend.
In the middle of a phone call came from my mother informing me that she was on her way here (again), and that they were expecting to amputate her leg. It has been infected since before her multiple surgeries last year, and the infection just won't go away. She has been in the hospital on IV antibiotics for weeks, which suppress the infection while she is on them, but as soon as she goes off of them it comes raging back. The infectious disease doctors told her there is nothing more they can do.
Of course, the surgeon is another matter. He's saying maybe they can just open up her leg and clean it out. Yeah--they've already done that once and it didn't work. I think that plan will just delay the inevitable. So we don't know for sure what's going to happen. But she's here and there's no telling how long she's going to be here. And her husband is supposed to be here for 6 weeks starting next month for a bone-marrow transplant. So, yeah, this is gonna be fun.
And then I got a 14-page order denying my 12(b) motions. Was it really necessary to take 14 pages to tell me that my arguments sucked? That was just the icing on this crappy-cake week.
In happier news, the kids seem to be back on track. The twins have B's in math and A's in everything else, and are slowly earning privileges back. SS has received a ton of compliments about how much she has improved in volleyball since last season--which is the first time one of my kids has ever shown any athletic prowess. It looks like this will be her "thing". And TT is doing great with the flute. It is so much easier to get her to practice than it was with the violin, and she seems to really like band. So maybe we've found her "thing," too.
In the middle of a phone call came from my mother informing me that she was on her way here (again), and that they were expecting to amputate her leg. It has been infected since before her multiple surgeries last year, and the infection just won't go away. She has been in the hospital on IV antibiotics for weeks, which suppress the infection while she is on them, but as soon as she goes off of them it comes raging back. The infectious disease doctors told her there is nothing more they can do.
Of course, the surgeon is another matter. He's saying maybe they can just open up her leg and clean it out. Yeah--they've already done that once and it didn't work. I think that plan will just delay the inevitable. So we don't know for sure what's going to happen. But she's here and there's no telling how long she's going to be here. And her husband is supposed to be here for 6 weeks starting next month for a bone-marrow transplant. So, yeah, this is gonna be fun.
And then I got a 14-page order denying my 12(b) motions. Was it really necessary to take 14 pages to tell me that my arguments sucked? That was just the icing on this crappy-cake week.
In happier news, the kids seem to be back on track. The twins have B's in math and A's in everything else, and are slowly earning privileges back. SS has received a ton of compliments about how much she has improved in volleyball since last season--which is the first time one of my kids has ever shown any athletic prowess. It looks like this will be her "thing". And TT is doing great with the flute. It is so much easier to get her to practice than it was with the violin, and she seems to really like band. So maybe we've found her "thing," too.
10/6/12
Kids and Math and Life
So after a week of tough love, the twins are passing math again. We spent many hours at the table doing makeup work. I've also learned that they do not know their multiplication tables. Yes, it does make me a failure as a mother that my 6th graders don't know their multiplication tables. And since the work that their doing now is all about factoring, it is a major handicap for them. So this weekend we are taking the guerrilla approach to memorizing multiplication tables. It will be all flash cards, all the time. I made them make their own. And when they don't know one, we do a little chant, so that we can assault all of our senses in the quest for memorization. I don't think there are a whole lot of things in this world that have to be memorized, but the multiplication tables are on the short list.
PS is having her own struggles. I don't think she was prepared for how much harder high school was going to be. We leave the house at 7:30 in the morning, and she's staying at school until 6 for robotics most nights and then doing homework until about 10. The poor kid hardly has a free moment. I've pretty much eliminated her chores, and bumped the twins' allowance for picking up the slack.
We are now well into the fall frenzy--where our weekends are filled with the kids' activities. I limit how many activities they can participate in, but with 3 kids, it still adds up to a lot of running around. The twins had girl scouts last night, PS had to be at school at 7:00 this morning for robotics, and the twins have conflicting softball practice and volleyball games this afternoon, followed by volleyball practice tomorrow. It's ok for now, but if there is a wrench thrown in, it will be hard. I've heard that my mother might be coming back, but she hasn't bothered to actually tell me this. So for now I'm just holding my breath and hoping for the best.
PS is having her own struggles. I don't think she was prepared for how much harder high school was going to be. We leave the house at 7:30 in the morning, and she's staying at school until 6 for robotics most nights and then doing homework until about 10. The poor kid hardly has a free moment. I've pretty much eliminated her chores, and bumped the twins' allowance for picking up the slack.
We are now well into the fall frenzy--where our weekends are filled with the kids' activities. I limit how many activities they can participate in, but with 3 kids, it still adds up to a lot of running around. The twins had girl scouts last night, PS had to be at school at 7:00 this morning for robotics, and the twins have conflicting softball practice and volleyball games this afternoon, followed by volleyball practice tomorrow. It's ok for now, but if there is a wrench thrown in, it will be hard. I've heard that my mother might be coming back, but she hasn't bothered to actually tell me this. So for now I'm just holding my breath and hoping for the best.
9/27/12
God, Help Us All
I'm not sure I'm going to survive 3 teenagers--and the twins are still only 11! But they have been giving me a run for my money this week, the likes of which I haven't seen since they were toddlers.
Apparently, TT and SS decided they didn't have to do homework anymore. I discovered this when I learned they were both failing math. This was something of a shock since all of my kids are typically straight-A students.
A call to the math teacher revealed that they hadn't been turning in any of their work. And once I started digging, I learned that this wasn't limited to math--they had missing papers in all of their classes. The math teacher was just the first to update their grades.
So we have spent every night this week doing makeup work. They are turning everything bit of their previously-skipped work in to their teachers, whether they can still get credit for it or not.
And they're on Amish house arrest. I've confiscated their iPods and their laptops* and locked down the television. The only thing I left them was their phones, because we don't have a landline and need to be able to get in touch with them.
The twins haven't been big texters, but apparently some of their friends just got phones and the texting has escalated. I got online today and saw that they have been texting nonstop this week--while they're grounded from everything else and long after bedtime.
So, I figured out how to activate the parental controls for their phones. I can now restrict what hours they are allowed to text, and exempt our immediate family and emergency contacts from the restrictions.
It is a lot of work staying a step ahead of them. And the biggest problem with the twins is that they have no currency. No matter what I take away from them, they will adapt. They are perfectly content to draw and read now that all of their electronic accoutrements are gone--and will spend hours at the table doodling instead of doing their homework.
Anyway, I am now all over the homework issue, so there will be no more slacking there. And they will remain technology-free until they have at least a B in math. But this week has royally sucked between all of the makeup work and teacher conferences and discipline. What happened to my sweet little girls who were always model students?
Apparently, TT and SS decided they didn't have to do homework anymore. I discovered this when I learned they were both failing math. This was something of a shock since all of my kids are typically straight-A students.
A call to the math teacher revealed that they hadn't been turning in any of their work. And once I started digging, I learned that this wasn't limited to math--they had missing papers in all of their classes. The math teacher was just the first to update their grades.
So we have spent every night this week doing makeup work. They are turning everything bit of their previously-skipped work in to their teachers, whether they can still get credit for it or not.
And they're on Amish house arrest. I've confiscated their iPods and their laptops* and locked down the television. The only thing I left them was their phones, because we don't have a landline and need to be able to get in touch with them.
The twins haven't been big texters, but apparently some of their friends just got phones and the texting has escalated. I got online today and saw that they have been texting nonstop this week--while they're grounded from everything else and long after bedtime.
So, I figured out how to activate the parental controls for their phones. I can now restrict what hours they are allowed to text, and exempt our immediate family and emergency contacts from the restrictions.
It is a lot of work staying a step ahead of them. And the biggest problem with the twins is that they have no currency. No matter what I take away from them, they will adapt. They are perfectly content to draw and read now that all of their electronic accoutrements are gone--and will spend hours at the table doodling instead of doing their homework.
Anyway, I am now all over the homework issue, so there will be no more slacking there. And they will remain technology-free until they have at least a B in math. But this week has royally sucked between all of the makeup work and teacher conferences and discipline. What happened to my sweet little girls who were always model students?
9/23/12
Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!
A few days ago PS said to me, "Do you know what happens in 11 days?"
And I responded, "yeah, the anniversary of the day I pushed your giant head out of my vagina."
She rolled her eyes and huffed off. It's so much fun torturing teenagers.
So tomorrow I've been a mom for 14 years. Hard to believe, and I'm not adjusting well. PS has changed so much in the last year, from a petite girl in middle school, to a grown-up sized young woman in high school. Last week she came downstairs in her go-to dress, paired with a pair of wedge-heeled booties and patterned tights. The dress had suddenly become too-short and too-tight and she had curves that seemingly appeared overnight. She is definitely not the 8-pound butterball I fell in love with 14 years ago.
Sadly, she's learning that birthdays get less fun as you get older. She's got school tomorrow, followed by robotics club and then the parent open-house. She's pretty much spending13 hours at school tomorrow. We're hoping we can squeeze in a super-quick dinner, but it's going to be a crazy day.
So tonight she gets Cherry Crunch per her request. And I guess we'll let her open her presents. Unless I want to torture her a little longer with them.
And I responded, "yeah, the anniversary of the day I pushed your giant head out of my vagina."
She rolled her eyes and huffed off. It's so much fun torturing teenagers.
So tomorrow I've been a mom for 14 years. Hard to believe, and I'm not adjusting well. PS has changed so much in the last year, from a petite girl in middle school, to a grown-up sized young woman in high school. Last week she came downstairs in her go-to dress, paired with a pair of wedge-heeled booties and patterned tights. The dress had suddenly become too-short and too-tight and she had curves that seemingly appeared overnight. She is definitely not the 8-pound butterball I fell in love with 14 years ago.
Sadly, she's learning that birthdays get less fun as you get older. She's got school tomorrow, followed by robotics club and then the parent open-house. She's pretty much spending13 hours at school tomorrow. We're hoping we can squeeze in a super-quick dinner, but it's going to be a crazy day.
So tonight she gets Cherry Crunch per her request. And I guess we'll let her open her presents. Unless I want to torture her a little longer with them.
9/16/12
Keep on Keepin' On
My mother has been sent back home, for which I am eternally grateful. I was not ready for the upheaval that we endured last fall and winter.
I've figured out what to do with my grandfather's estate, which is a whole lot of nothing. I'll notify the creditors that he's dead and if one of them wants to open probate they can have at it.
My brother continues to be a pain in the ass with his very messy divorce and the drama that comes with it, but at least that is the only family issue I am dealing with right now.
As for the kids, we have survived the first three weeks of school. It's been a transition for PS (and us), starting high school. Her classes are hard and her days are long. She doesn't have any of her old friends in any of her classes or her lunch period, but I think she is doing ok and starting to make new friends.
She tried out for the soccer team, but was cut. This was no surprise to her parents. She had deluded herself into believing that she would make the team no matter what. She never, ever practiced at home, and refused all of the soccer camps and clinics I offered to send her to. By the second day of practice, when she saw the skills of girls who have been playing competitively for years, she knew it wasn't going to happen. It was tough on her, but it was a life lesson that she needed to learn, and no amount of nagging from me was going to teach her what she learned from that experience: you have to work for the things that you want.
Anyway, she dropped soccer and picked up art--something that she does have a lot of talent for and spends hours a day "practicing." She also joined the robotics team. The team went to nationals last year, and we are all super-geekily excited about what they will do this year. The machines these kids build are simply phenomenal.
SS and TT are in their final year of elementary school. No big changes for them--except that they now change classes and they have two classes together. They have never had class together. I made the very conscious decision to separate them in pre-K (I would not have done it if I didn't think they were ready for it, and I would have fought to keep them together if I though it was necessary) and they have never been in the same class. Interestingly, they are not at all excited to have classes together now. Even though they always eat lunch together and have mostly the same friends.
So, we're off. I miss our relaxed summer evenings and the much lighter summer traffic. But at least the weather is cooler and we have Halloween and Thanksgiving to look forward to--which are, hands down, the best holidays.
I've figured out what to do with my grandfather's estate, which is a whole lot of nothing. I'll notify the creditors that he's dead and if one of them wants to open probate they can have at it.
My brother continues to be a pain in the ass with his very messy divorce and the drama that comes with it, but at least that is the only family issue I am dealing with right now.
As for the kids, we have survived the first three weeks of school. It's been a transition for PS (and us), starting high school. Her classes are hard and her days are long. She doesn't have any of her old friends in any of her classes or her lunch period, but I think she is doing ok and starting to make new friends.
She tried out for the soccer team, but was cut. This was no surprise to her parents. She had deluded herself into believing that she would make the team no matter what. She never, ever practiced at home, and refused all of the soccer camps and clinics I offered to send her to. By the second day of practice, when she saw the skills of girls who have been playing competitively for years, she knew it wasn't going to happen. It was tough on her, but it was a life lesson that she needed to learn, and no amount of nagging from me was going to teach her what she learned from that experience: you have to work for the things that you want.
Anyway, she dropped soccer and picked up art--something that she does have a lot of talent for and spends hours a day "practicing." She also joined the robotics team. The team went to nationals last year, and we are all super-geekily excited about what they will do this year. The machines these kids build are simply phenomenal.
SS and TT are in their final year of elementary school. No big changes for them--except that they now change classes and they have two classes together. They have never had class together. I made the very conscious decision to separate them in pre-K (I would not have done it if I didn't think they were ready for it, and I would have fought to keep them together if I though it was necessary) and they have never been in the same class. Interestingly, they are not at all excited to have classes together now. Even though they always eat lunch together and have mostly the same friends.
So, we're off. I miss our relaxed summer evenings and the much lighter summer traffic. But at least the weather is cooler and we have Halloween and Thanksgiving to look forward to--which are, hands down, the best holidays.
9/9/12
Family
On Wednesday evening I flew in for my maternal grandfather's funeral. My dad picked me up from the airport, and we had dinner with his parents. My grandmother promptly informed us that she had been to the doctor earlier that day and that he had given her a mew medication "for my brain." It is the Alzheimer's medication that my grandfather currently taking. It was clear that both of their conditions were worse than the last time a saw them, less than 6 months ago.
My paternal grandparents always refused to grow old gracefully, and I always believed that their active lifestyle kept them young. But they are becoming old and frail and forgetful. I told DH a few weeks ago that it felt like all of our grandparents were going to start to die soon. They are all in their 80's now--so it wasn't exactly a prophetic statement. But it's still not going to be easy.
I spent the later evening hours with aunts and cousins that I hadn't seen in a very long time. It's terrible that it's always death that brings us together, but I really enjoyed spending time with them. That is somewhat unusual. I never quite fit in with my mother's family. I am the oldest of my generation, with my male cousin and brother a couple of years behind me. Those two were inseparable, and I was the third wheel. My two female cousins are both more than 12 years younger than me. I babysat them. So for years, at every family gathering, I sat in the corner reading, with my boisterous family in the background. I was the quiet, smart one. I don't think anyone knew what to do with me. They are all loud and gossipy and in the middle of one another's business.
My mother traveled to my city on Wednesday, while I was headed to Hometown. Her insurance wouldn't pay for ambulance transport, and so she was discharged and her husband drove her. She could have left on Thursday afternoon instead of Wednesday afternoon so that she could attend her father's funeral, but she did not. Nor did she attend the visitation on Wednesday morning before she left. For the next two days, all of her siblings were asking if I had heard from her, because she wasn't taking anyone's phone calls.
The funeral was small and simple. Afterward we gathered again at my aunt's house. She gave me the photographs that had been taken from my grandparent's house that were earmarked for my mother. I don't have any of my childhood pictures, so I was happy to have them. My kids found them hilarious.
I also brought home a load of paperwork to sort out the "estate." There's not really an estate. There's a trailer with an overdue mortgage and two tax liens, and an empty lot that my grandfather conveyed to two different purchasers. I have no idea where to start with all of this. I do not practice probate law. The property just needs to be foreclosed on and the two purchasers are going to have to sort it out among themselves. I'm just not sure how his death affects this. We were trying to get it sorted out before he passed away. I guess I'll be doing some research this afternoon.
I flew home Thursday evening, and within 12 hours I was back at the airport for my flight out for a hearing on Friday. That went well, and I was back home again, and exhausted, by mid-afternoon. I stopped by to see my mother on the way home. It turns out that the docs here do not want to re-do the knee and want to ship her back home next week. This is good news for me, but I don't think this battle between doctors in two cities is in her best interest. I guess we'll see what happens next. I'm just hoping this week is better than last.
My paternal grandparents always refused to grow old gracefully, and I always believed that their active lifestyle kept them young. But they are becoming old and frail and forgetful. I told DH a few weeks ago that it felt like all of our grandparents were going to start to die soon. They are all in their 80's now--so it wasn't exactly a prophetic statement. But it's still not going to be easy.
I spent the later evening hours with aunts and cousins that I hadn't seen in a very long time. It's terrible that it's always death that brings us together, but I really enjoyed spending time with them. That is somewhat unusual. I never quite fit in with my mother's family. I am the oldest of my generation, with my male cousin and brother a couple of years behind me. Those two were inseparable, and I was the third wheel. My two female cousins are both more than 12 years younger than me. I babysat them. So for years, at every family gathering, I sat in the corner reading, with my boisterous family in the background. I was the quiet, smart one. I don't think anyone knew what to do with me. They are all loud and gossipy and in the middle of one another's business.
My mother traveled to my city on Wednesday, while I was headed to Hometown. Her insurance wouldn't pay for ambulance transport, and so she was discharged and her husband drove her. She could have left on Thursday afternoon instead of Wednesday afternoon so that she could attend her father's funeral, but she did not. Nor did she attend the visitation on Wednesday morning before she left. For the next two days, all of her siblings were asking if I had heard from her, because she wasn't taking anyone's phone calls.
The funeral was small and simple. Afterward we gathered again at my aunt's house. She gave me the photographs that had been taken from my grandparent's house that were earmarked for my mother. I don't have any of my childhood pictures, so I was happy to have them. My kids found them hilarious.
I also brought home a load of paperwork to sort out the "estate." There's not really an estate. There's a trailer with an overdue mortgage and two tax liens, and an empty lot that my grandfather conveyed to two different purchasers. I have no idea where to start with all of this. I do not practice probate law. The property just needs to be foreclosed on and the two purchasers are going to have to sort it out among themselves. I'm just not sure how his death affects this. We were trying to get it sorted out before he passed away. I guess I'll be doing some research this afternoon.
I flew home Thursday evening, and within 12 hours I was back at the airport for my flight out for a hearing on Friday. That went well, and I was back home again, and exhausted, by mid-afternoon. I stopped by to see my mother on the way home. It turns out that the docs here do not want to re-do the knee and want to ship her back home next week. This is good news for me, but I don't think this battle between doctors in two cities is in her best interest. I guess we'll see what happens next. I'm just hoping this week is better than last.
9/4/12
Not Enough Vodka
As I was rushing the kids out the door this morning, my brother called to inform me that my grandfather had just passed away. While his health had been declining somewhat rapidly, we still though there was some time left. A birthday party for him was in the works for the end of the month, and while we were expecting that it would likely be our last visit, we were comfortable that there was that much time left.
Minutes after learning about my grandfather, I spoke with my mother who informed me that they were intending to transfer her to a hospital here within the next day or two to remove and replace her knee. She is in a contamination ward at the hospital and will not be attending her father's funeral.
I was left trying to figure out whether to make travel arrangements to attend the funeral, or to stay here for my mother's surgery. And to complicate matters, I already had an out-of-town hearing scheduled for Friday.
The funeral is scheduled for Thursday, and I decided that it was unlikely my mother would be transported and her surgery scheduled before then, so I went ahead and booked the flight.
And now my 4-day workweek has been condensed into a day-and-a-half. I have a hard deadline on Friday for my pro bono case that left me sending an affidavit to my client this morning, begging her to get it notarized today, and then driving half-way across the world to retrieve it from her so that I can file it in the morning. This is a perfect example of why procrastination is bad!
I fly to Hometown late tomorrow afternoon and back out early Thursday evening. Then I have an early morning flight on Friday for my hearing, and will hopefully be home again by early evening.
Tonight I have to pack and finish up a couple of research projects to hand off to my bosses before I leave tomorrow. And the kids and I all have colds and feel crappy and cranky.
To top it all off, my brother just texted me and said that when he tried to visit my mother this evening her husband tried to start a physical fight in the hospital and in front of my nieces and had to be pulled off my brother and escorted out by a hospital aide! WTF?! And then my aunt told me it was the other way around.
If I wasn't convinced that my family was white trash before, this definitely seals the deal. Without question, the smartest thing I have ever done in my life was to get the hell out of Hometown.
Minutes after learning about my grandfather, I spoke with my mother who informed me that they were intending to transfer her to a hospital here within the next day or two to remove and replace her knee. She is in a contamination ward at the hospital and will not be attending her father's funeral.
I was left trying to figure out whether to make travel arrangements to attend the funeral, or to stay here for my mother's surgery. And to complicate matters, I already had an out-of-town hearing scheduled for Friday.
The funeral is scheduled for Thursday, and I decided that it was unlikely my mother would be transported and her surgery scheduled before then, so I went ahead and booked the flight.
And now my 4-day workweek has been condensed into a day-and-a-half. I have a hard deadline on Friday for my pro bono case that left me sending an affidavit to my client this morning, begging her to get it notarized today, and then driving half-way across the world to retrieve it from her so that I can file it in the morning. This is a perfect example of why procrastination is bad!
I fly to Hometown late tomorrow afternoon and back out early Thursday evening. Then I have an early morning flight on Friday for my hearing, and will hopefully be home again by early evening.
Tonight I have to pack and finish up a couple of research projects to hand off to my bosses before I leave tomorrow. And the kids and I all have colds and feel crappy and cranky.
To top it all off, my brother just texted me and said that when he tried to visit my mother this evening her husband tried to start a physical fight in the hospital and in front of my nieces and had to be pulled off my brother and escorted out by a hospital aide! WTF?! And then my aunt told me it was the other way around.
If I wasn't convinced that my family was white trash before, this definitely seals the deal. Without question, the smartest thing I have ever done in my life was to get the hell out of Hometown.
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