Defenders of the Downtrodden

That would be SS and TT.

Early in the school year, TT made a new friend, M.  I'd never met M because she was new to the school. Soon, TT started talking about M being bullied at school.  Over and over again, this topic would come up, and we would talk about how to respond (walk away when possible, and stand up for your friends). TT and SS assured me that they were not the target of the bullying, but it was relentless against M, mostly because of her weight (and, yes, we did talk to the teachers about this).

This week seemed to be a breaking point, and  TT and SS told me that they accompanied M to visit the counselor because "she just couldn't take it anymore." The girls reported that they were in the counselor's office for two class periods.

That prompted me to call the counselor to get a fuller picture.  To find out how much bullying was really going on (because it is such a buzzword these days) and that my girls weren't being pulled into someone else's self-created drama. To confirm my girls' reports that they were not being bullied (they are not).

The counselor confirmed that there is some bullying, but that she also talked to the girls about what is bullying and what is just rude behavior. She has been involved with M, and it seems like the child just has a tough life.  She is being picked on for her weight and because she lives in a trailer park. There are some tough family dynamics.

The counselor also thinks my girls are a great influence on M. That they show her how to be strong against the bullies and that they are accepting of her no matter what.  I mentioned that I had been intending to invite M over, because I did not know her, and the counselor thought that was a great idea, but warned that M was very self-conscious about not being able to reciprocate. (And we intended to have her over this weekend, and poor TT got sick.)

So we will do what we can to help her out, and show her that she can have friends no matter what.  Her family situation seems a lot like mine was.  I was so lucky to have friends in junior high and high school where I spent a lot of time to get away from my own miserable situation. 

Late last week, the girls accompanied another bullied classmate to the counselor's office for a rap session. To call this child irritating is an understatement, and even my girls have limited patience for her, but I have always insisted that they are kind to her, and they have been.  Apparently, she was this week's target of the bullying, and my girls stepped in to help her out.

I've been trying to think of something more proactive the girls can do.  They truly are right in the middle of the mean girls stage (we somehow managed to skip this with PS--I have no idea how). I think my girls have a bit of power because they are fairly popular, but so far they haven't managed to shame the bullies into quitting their antics. Maybe it's just a matter of surviving this year and moving on to middle school where the pond is much bigger.