Sucky, sucky, sucky day

Today just sucked. It was one of those days where everything is just off-kilter all day long. It started this morning, when I had to go into the school to drop the girls off and speak to the cranky ladies in the office. Then traffic sucked. Then I got to work, and before I even make it to my office my secretary informs me that I am on the naughty list.

The naughty list is the list that the office accountant sends out to the entire office every week informing us who doesn't have their time in. I am on it about half the time, because my time has to be approved by Partner before it is sent to accounting, and he tends to let it sit on his desk. The end of the month is the most important, because that is when the bills go out.

Of course, Partner had not approved by time, so I was on the list. And Partner was out of town this morning. I called the accountant the second I got to my office to explain the situation. He was a complete and total jackass to me on the phone. He gets this way a lot. Our 60 year old accountant has mood swings like a 14 year old girl. He is known for his pissy moods-but it usually isn't directed at me.

I mean, I would have understood irritation. I get that we are on a tight schedule at the first of the month--but he was really an asshole. A few minutes later Big Boss came in and I asked him to approve my time. In the meantime, Accountant blasted off two more office-wide emails informing everybody that I was the lone holdout in submitting my time. By 9:15 this morning my time was in. I dashed off an email, biting my tongue the whole time, politely telling the accountant that my time had been submitted.

He writes back, "was it approved." And I responded, "No, your temper tantrum terrified me into throwing caution to the wind and submitting my time, to hell with whether it had been approved or not." Then I added, "Of course it has been approved."

30 seconds later the phone rang. Accountant, "I need to know if your time is approved."

"I told you it was approved."

"How was it approved--did you get an email." Ok, he has never ever asked how my time is approved --and it is always approved orally. So now he is basically accusing me of lying. However, Big Boss just happens to be standing outside my office and hears this exchange.

Big Boss says, "Tell him I said your time is approved, it's done, he needs to do the billing."

So I relay that information to Accountant, who huffs, "I don't understand why you are being so ugly to me." To which I respond, "Ditto."

A couple of minutes later he sends another email complaining about my attitude. I didn't respond.

Ok, I'll admit, it was not a shining morning of professionalism. I probably should have kept my mouth shut. The secretaries were glad to see me stand up to him. He treats everybody like crap--but they couldn't get away with standing up to him.

The rest of the day went down hill from there. Big Boss was in the office, and throwing new projects at me all day. One of our attorneys just had her baby a month early, and he is freaking out and handing me her stuff. I'm not sure how happy she is about all this. I don't want to step on her toes, but I can't exactly refuse a project Big Boss hands me, so I am doing my best to copy her on email to keep her in the loop.

Then I made a pretty minor error in a letter to the client. But, as Partner pointed out, sending stuff to this client (who is in-house counsel) is like getting your homework graded. He catches freaking everything. So Partner was mildly irritated with me.

And then one of my kids' teachers won't respond to my notes and emails. And my kids' doctor won't let me take all three kids at once for their checkups (I think this is going to mean a new doctor.) And I'm going to have to go lawyer to get my claim paid from when my car was broken into.

And my glasses broke right across the bridge for no apparent reason. The good news is that they are under a breakage warranty, so it is only $20 to replace them. But while I was at the eyeglass store, I asked about my lenses which have developed these strange spots, where it looks like the lens coating is coming up. They said that for another $10 I could have the lenses replaced. I said that I have no problem paying for the broken frames because they don't know what happened (although, really, they literally just broke apart in my hands while I was cleaning them), but that the problem with the lens coating was clearly a manufacturing defect and I should not have to pay a copay to have them repaired. The huffy sales girl said, "well, I can't make that call--you have to talk to a manager." And then they tried to tell me that the only warranty they offer is the breakage warranty with a co-pay.

Of course I wanted to see this actual "warranty" and they didn't have one in the store. They had to get another store to fax it over. And of course it is not a warranty but a replacement plan, and thus is not intended to cover a manufacturing defect.

The girl said, "Well, this is the only warranty we offer." And I replied (much snottier than necessary), "actually it's not. Under the law, there is an implied warranty offered on all goods unless you specifically disclaim it--which you did not." And of course, I get the "we can't make that call" line again.

So I paid the $20, got new frames, and still don't have the lenses fixed. Yeah, I should have paid the damn $10--and probably would have if I hadn't already been in a royally shitty mood. But I'll take it up with the manager and get the lenses fixed and probably spend $500 worth of lawyer time doing it to save $10. Yeah--I'm totally logical when I'm pissy.

The bright spot in my day--a pair of fabulous red suede heels were sitting with the mail when I got home. So I changed into shorts and a tank top and wore my fabulous heels (they make me feel like Dorothy) around the kitchen while I busted into one of DH's beers and pulled dinner together before DH and the girls got home from football practice.

Thank god tomorrow's Friday. Darn right.

The Talk

Last night we were finishing up dinner when I sent the twins out to get the mail. They were taking longer than I thought they should, so I went to check on them.

TT: "Hey mom, you got a movie."

SS: "We peeked at it."

TT: "It's 'Sex of the City.' That's a funny name for a movie."

SS: "TT, I think you said a bad word."

TT: "Sex isn't a bad word, it means . . ."

Me: "Hey, wait a minute. First, sex isn't a bad word. Second, TT, what do you think sex means?"

TT: "It means when grown-ups love each other."

Me: "Well, not exactly. Remember how we talked about when grown-ups love each other they give each other a special hug, and that's how babies get made? Well, that is called sex."

SS: "Yeah--but how does a hug make a baby?" Clearly they weren't going to let me off easy on this one.

Me: "Well, remember how we talked about girls and boys have different parts?"

TT: "Yeah--girls have a hole and boys have a wiener."

Me: "Umm, yeah. The girls part is called a vagina and the boys part is called a penis. So during the special hug the man puts his penis into the woman's vagina, and that's how a baby gets made."

SS: "Yeah, but how does the baby get in there?" Ok, these kids are really wanting the dots connected.

Me: "Well, the man has this juicy stuff inside his penis that has these little fishy things called sperm, and so the juicy stuff comes out inside the woman's vagina and meets with an egg and then they become a cell that grows and grows until it becomes a baby."

TT & SS: "Ewwwww."

TT: "So the cells just keep making more and more and more--like the germ video that we watched at school? It started with just one and then it kept making more and more and more?"

Me: "Yeah--kinda. The cells just keep multiplying just like with germs." I have now equated a baby with the flu.

TT: "But which part of the baby is made first--the stomach?"

Me: "Sort of. The baby starts out as a blob--so I guess it's kind of like the stomach. But as it keeps growing it starts to grow arms and legs and then fingers and toes. So, do y'all have any more questions."

TT: "What are the girl parts called again?"

I wasn't exactly planning to have this talk with the girls yet. I had had it with PS a while back, but the twins still seem so young. But the opportunity presented itself and they were curious. I would rather they get accurate (ok, semi-accurate) information from me than misinformation from other kids. And they were very open about this and not embarrassed to be talking about it--something I hope will continue as they get older.

DH and PS meanwhile were still lingering at the dinner table. Apparently once they caught wind of our conversation, PS went into the pantry and closed the door because she didn't want to hear it. DH, wasn't about to walk in on the middle of this conversation. He is just relieved that we have all girls and I am the one who gets to deal with this kind of thing.

Oh, and about the movie: I watched it last night and did not really like it. Spoiler alert--stop now if you haven't seen this movie and intend to.







I can't believe Carrie went back to Big after what he did. I mean, even if you aren't sure, you go through with the damn wedding that the whole worked knows about. Get divorced 2 weeks later. Or just don't ever sign the marriage certificate. By the end of the movie, she was blaming herself. Hello--he's an adult and could have put a stop to the big brou-ha-ha well ahead of time if that's not what he wanted. If he didn't care enough about her to not publicly humiliate her, then they had no business getting married in the first place.

Yes, I am insane

I have 9 girls spending the night, in addition to my own three. I am trying to just stay out of the way and let them do their own thing--but provide enough structured activities to keep them from fighting or acting like crazy people.

It is mostly going ok. But after they made sundaes they decided that everyone should try to eat face first (yeah--these are 10 - 11 year olds, I thought they were past this kind of thing) and one managed to get chocolate all over her shirt and now swears that her mom is going to kill her. So I have stain treated it and am washing it, but after the first run-through, it's not looking good.

The pillowcase decorating went much better. There was a lot of talk about boys. Apparently they don't understand why their dads don't like it when they talk about boys ("They were boys once, they should know that we think boys are cute.") And at least two of them have preceded a confession with , "This is a secret and my mom told me not to tell anybody..." So, FYI ladies, your kids will rat you out.

Speaking of... one of the dad's called at 3:30 this afternoon to ask if he could drop his daughter off at 4:00--2 hours before the party. He said he got called in to work and she wouldn't be able to come otherwise. It was no biggie, so I said that was fine. While his daughter was helping decorate I off-handedly said, "so your dad got called in to work, huh?" And she said, "no, not really. Some of his soccer friends just called and wanted him to go to the lake." Oops!

Overall, this group of girls is getting along very well. There are a few that I have not met before, so I was a little concerned. And one of the ones who is supposed to be here didn't show--which may be a good thing because I heard from a couple of sources that she and another girl don't get along. Oh, the drama of being a 10 year old girl.

My car is jinxed

First, it was broken into in my driveway (it is almost always in the garage--a total fluke that it was in the driveway) and DH's fancy HD radio was stolen. Then I got a crack in the windshield coming home from a work trip. Then the driver's side window spontaneously shattered while sitting in my garage overnight. And today, the passenger-side window was busted out and my GPS was stolen.

The Suburban was sitting in the parking garage at work. The one with gates that is supposedly patrolled by security personnel. It looks like someone just took a baseball bat and shoved took a swing at the window. For a freakin' $150 GPS. They didn't touch the fancy radio or the 20 or so CD's in the console. PS's Nintendo DS and our portable GPS that we use for geocaching were in the back, and they are still there, too. Really--how much does a basic GPS get on the black market?

And you would think with the previous break-in that I would have learned my lesson about leaving stuff in the car. I never leave the Suburban on the driveway anymore, and if I am out shopping, I hide the GPS and the radio faceplate in the console. But I guess I felt safe in my security-patrolled parking garage. Ugh!

Every Freakin' Year...

My kids' school, like many schools around the country, have subscribed to the AR reading system. Basically, they test at the beginning of the year to determine their AR reading level. Then they are required to read books on their assigned AR level and take 10 question quizzes which allegedly test their comprehension (I have my doubts). Books are assigned point levels based on their level of difficulty, and kids are encouraged to rack up as many points as possible.

My problem with the AR system is that it limits what the kids are allowed to read. The teachers repeatedly tell my kids that they can only read books on their assigned AR level--and the assigned AR level is always way below what they are actually reading.

I take my kids to the library or bookstore just about every weekend. I know what books they are reading--heck, I can barely keep them in books because they are all speedy readers performing well-above their grade level. (Which means they zip through the books with age-appropriate subject matter in record time.)

And, honestly, I have come to the conclusion that the AR leveling test is completely inaccurate. Because it always puts my kids below the level they are actually on--when all of their standardized testing puts they years above their grade level (although how many years I'll never know because my school won't test more than 2 years out and all of my kids always max out the tests--but that's another battle.)

So again this year, just like every other year since PS started school, I have to go to the teachers and request that my children be allowed to read anything they want. If the subject matter is questionable, I will read the book with them. But I refuse to have my children limited. Some of the teachers have been great on this issue--but with a couple of them, this has been a major battle, which I completely don't understand. I guess we'll see what happens this go 'round.

Parties and Projects

My Sunday is being spent helping the twins with a school project and prepping for PS's upcoming birthday party.

PS really wanted to go to a super-touristy spot that was going to cost a fortune to take even a couple of friends. I told her that if we did that she could only take 2 friends, and it would take all of the money that I budgeted to spend on her birthday, meaning no big presents. On the other hand, she could have a party at home we could come up with some fun stuff, she could invite as many friends as she wants, and there would still be money left over for me to buy her a present.

So we are doing the home party. The girls will be making pizzas and ice cream sundaes and I bought pillowcases and fabric markers to decorate them with. In the end, I'm not sure I've really saved that much over what the touristy place would have cost--but she'll get to have a lot more of her friends over.

I spent two hours creating invitations--vellum over shiny purple card stock, tied together with sparkly purple ribbon and dotted with star-shaped gemstones. For some reason, I am always compelled to make fantastic homemade invitations. I simply can't bring myself to buy them or print them on the computer. These were actually really simple put together--I've put in much more effort in years past--but they look really nice.

The twins' school project is driving me insane. I HATE school projects--because it always means work for me, although I have really tried to let go of my control-freakishness, and let the kids do the bulk of the work. Unfortunately, my kids are not especially driven and will not put forth their best effort if I am not hovering nearby. TT finally did a pretty good job on hers, after I helped just a bit, but SS's project is really half-assed.

Sigh--I just want her to get her stuff done so that I don't have to deal with it anymore.

The time has come to sink or swim.

We have depositions coming up in one of our not-so-big cases. There are 5 plaintiffs and we are doing them all in one day. Partner told me a couple of weeks ago that I would sit in on all of the depositions, watch him do the first few and then do the last couple myself. Woo-hoo! I have never done a deposition before, and it was a milestone I was hoping to pass before my first-year-as-a-lawyer has ended. (Yeah, I know that for all you experienced lawyers depositions suck, take forever and are boring.) This seemed like a really good way to get me started.

Today, Partner informed me that I would be doing all of the depositions on Wednesday and that he won't be there.

As I mentioned before, I have never done a deposition. I have never even sat in on a deposition (except for when I was deposed when I was 16 and got sued for a car wreck). My only experience comes from reading (way too many) deposition transcripts.

Now, it won't totally be all on me--we have a co-defendant with whom we are pretty much aligned and they will take the lead. Except the co-defendant has only been on this case for about 2 months, and definitely don't have the familiarity with it that I have. (I know this because they call me all the time to ask me stuff about it.)

I know I can handle it. I just hope I don't make myself look like an idiot. Or that opposing counsel doesn't pick up on my baby lawyerness and try to take advantage of it.

Feeling Crappy

I had my endometrial ablation today. Accounts on the internet had led me to believe that this would be an easy breezy procedure and that I would be feeling great by dinner-time.

Not so much.

I am much crampier than I anticipated. I had a D&C following a miscarriage a few years ago, and asked the doctor if recovery would be similar. He responded that cramping was generally worse following a miscarriage and D&C than after this procedure. But I don't really remember having any cramping after the D&C, and I do remember feeling really well morning after (it surprised me because I am always really, really sick when I am pregnant and I was shocked at how quickly the nausea went away once I was no longer pregnant.) This is early-labor type cramping--except that it is constant rather than appearing every 5 minutes or so.

I'm also quite nauseated--probably from taking morphine on an empty stomach. But that's kind of a catch-22.

Here's hoping this all sorts itself overnight, because TT has her first football game in the morning, and I really want to be there for Mommy support.

What the heck?

If you read my blog with any regularity you'll note that its pretty apolitical. I am generally apathetic about politics--mostly because I never like the choices. I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal, which means I don't fit neatly within either party. This year has been no different. Obama just doesn't sit quite right but McCain is becoming increasingly distasteful.

But I was so excited about the Palin pick. It is great to see a woman on the ticket--a working mom no less. I wasn't even bothered about her lack of experience. I'm pretty freakin' sick of old, rich, white men running our country (and law firms). They sure as hell haven't been dong a fabulous job. So maybe someone who hasn't been entrenched in our political system would be better than someone with 20 years' experience screwing it up. (But make no mistake, I would vote for no one based on their gender. There is no chance Hillary would have gotten my vote.)

But I'll admit that the pregnant teenager has given me pause. I mean--I get that stuff happens with teens. I have 3 daughters, my biggest fear is that one of my daughters will be a parent before she is ready. And I don't think that Palin's daughter's circumstances are a reflection on her mother. Teen pregnancy strikes across socio-economic borders and happens no matter how great the teen's parents are.

But I question Palin's judgment in agreeing to all this, knowing full well that it would throw her child's very personal life into the limelight. Yes, she has been presented with the opportunity of a lifetime--but is it worth handing her child to the wolves? (BTW, I think Obama has handled this very well.) And I question McCain's judgment in thinking this would be no big deal (especially if the news is released when a hurricane is going on, so hopefully no one will notice.) This feels like another Harriet Miers-style debacle.

And it just seems a little too right-wing conservative that the happy teenage couple are now planning to marry. Because if one of my daughters were to become a teenage mom, the last thing I would want her to do is compound her problems by marrying "because it's the right thing to do."

PSA - Watch out for your kiddos on your outdoor playsets

Much has been made on the news this summer about the heat that can gather in playground equipment. I had kept the girls indoors during the extreme heat, but yesterday morning, I wasn't even thinking about anything happening.

PS's BFF got about a 2" square burn on her lower back/butt when she was over here yesterday --from going down the slide in my backyard!! She was wearing thin pajama shorts and it went all the way her shorts. And it was still fairly early in the day--temps here usually peak around 3-5 p.m.

I asked if she was sure it wasn't a scrape, but she really thought it was a burn, and her mom, who is a nurse, also thinks it is a burn.

This is the slide that we have (not my kid, taken from the manufacturer's site.) It is a dark green plastic-type slide--this was not a metal slide that burned her!

Anyway, just wanted to post this because I know I have at least 2 readers who live semi-near me where temperatures are similar. (I think you know who you are!) Be sure to watch out for your kiddos. This happened to an almost 11-year-old girl. I would really hate to see it happen to a much younger child who might not be able to react as quickly.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a sitcom

Like yesterday. I was in the Dr.'s office, located in the hospital, when the fire alarms started going off. They said, "no big deal, this happens all the time," and I was sent downstairs for blood work. About the time I got done there, the alarms quit sounding. But apparently they closed all the doors in all of the hallways as some kind of safety measure while the alarms were sounding. So the whole area was now completely unfamiliar. I got totally turned around and could not find my way back to the underground parking lot. I ended up in the basement of a totally different wing of the hospital--down where all the control rooms are. Finally a helpful guy leads me back to an elevator, where another very helpful (and extremely tall) guy in scrubs leads me back upstairs, through a restricted area and back to the general area where I came in.

Except I still couldn't get out of the building. There was a vestibule to go through, but then there was a big metal curtain preventing you from actually exiting the building. (Which makes total sense with all the fire alarms going off.) I finally took another elevator back upstairs, found the ground level parking lot, and managed to find an outside staircase back down to the underground garage. I thought I'd never get out of there.

Then today...
The two kittens that we kept have developed a weird skin disease. They look like the have stigmata, with red gunk leaking from their eyes. We have been in the vet's office each of the last 3 weeks. They are negative for ringworm, but the vet said they have cat herpes. (Apparently this is a fairly common cat condition, and not transmitted to people.) We were given $50 worth of cat antibiotics which have done absolutely nothing. This week they are trying to grow cultures to see of its fungal or viral. Or it could be an allergy. Yes, it's true, there is no such thing as a free animal. Thank goodness this condition didn't show up when we had 7 cats. (And, fortunately, one of the cats we gave away was to a girl in the vets office, and she said her cat has no signs of this.)

But anyway, it was about 15 minutes before the vet appointment, and the cats disappeared. All five of us are searching the house, under beds, in closets. Yelling, hoping to wake them if they are sleeping somewhere. Carrying around a can of food hoping to lure them. Five minutes after our scheduled appointment, TT finally finds the kittens hiding under my dresser (we had already looked there, but must have missed them.) And they will not come out. Guess they heard they were going to the vet. DH finally has to pull the entire dresser out to get to the kitties and haul them to the vet.

I have never lost Bob in the house before, but this is the second time this week we have lost the cats.

I just have to say...

that I L-O-V-E that McCain picked a working mom of 5. I haven't read too much about her yet and know little about her politics, but I am still excited to see her on the ticket. (Ok, maybe partly because my redneck relatives will be forced to vote for a woman 'cause there's no way in heck they are voting for a black man with the middle name of--well, I think we all know by know. )

But she is going to have a lot of juggling to do. It is hard for me to balance 3 kids and a high-pressure job with long hours. I can't imagine balancing 5, including a special needs infant while on the campaign trail--or as VP. But I'm sure she can manage, and I look forward to reading more about how she does it all.

Go working moms!

Busy day

After a slow start to the week, the last couple of days have been insanely busy at work. There may be layoffs everywhere else, but my firm has been hiring like crazy to keep with all of the new cases we have been taking on.

TT had her first football practice today. She is the only girl on the team (even though we had been told she would be put on a team with one of her classmates.) But I think she handled it ok, and her coaches seemed pretty cool. I somehow managed to volunteer myself to coordinate the snack schedule.

But there was bad news when I was checking the girls' homework folders. Every day they have marking on their conduct square. My girls always have perfect conduct. Always. I think once a couple of years ago PS got in trouble for talking in the hallway line to recess. But she is such a goody-goody I was actually kind of happy to see her breaking rules and acting like a kid.

But today PS's folder said in unhappy red ink "Throwing food in the lunch room." On the 4th day of school! I was stunned, and I'm afraid her teacher is going to think she's a trouble-maker, even though every teacher she has ever had has told me what a sweetie she is.

So I made her write notes of apology to the lunch ladies and her teacher promising never to throw food again. I think she might be grounded, too, but it's a long weekend, and that might just be torture for me.

My football girl

DH took TT to buy a football yesterday, and she has been carrying the thing around ever since. I have to say, she never showed so much enthusiasm for soccer.

We are not a family known for its athleticism. DH and I are not jocks by any stretch of the imagination--although all of our parents were pretty athletic. So we have never put much emphasis on sports with our kids (perhaps, in my case at least, because my dad put so much emphasis on being an athlete, when it was never gonna happen with me). And I wasn't expecting much when we handed TT her football.

But DH showed her how to throw it and she got it instantly. She doesn't have much distance, but she has great accuracy and can put a pretty good spin on the ball. And she is doing pretty well with catching it, too. So maybe I haven't given her enough credit. It will be interesting to see how she does at her practice this week.

I cannot deal with the diving commentator

She reminds me of Nancy Grace. I enjoy diving, but that woman's voice grates on my last nerve.

Last weekend of freedom

The girlies start school on Monday. We did Meet the Teacher Friday night, and it looks like they all did pretty well. This year PS will be changing classes for the first time, so we had 4 teachers to meet. Her homeroom teacher is also her science teacher (PS's favorite subject) and also used to be a GT teacher, so I hope that all works to her advantage and that I don't have to push so hard to keep her challenged this year. I also really liked her Math teacher. She seems strict, but also like she will push the kids to reach their potential.

I did not, however, care for the English teacher. We walked in to meet her and she was chatting with another woman. Of course, that was no big deal, but I got the impression that this woman was one of her friends and didn't necessarily even have a kid in her class. And they were talking about hair dryers. We waited and waited for PS to meet her teacher. Finally, PS said, "I think we should go somewhere else." Then she yelled across the room at her sisters (who, as usual were making themselves at home) "Hey girls, we need to go." The teacher still did not even acknowledge us. I thought it was very unprofessional, not to mention poor manners. Even if it was a parent, after 10 minutes you need to disengage and speak to the other parents. And as a parent, I try not to take up too much of a teacher's time when I know that they have lots of other parents to deal with.

And one puzzling thing is that they had Reading and Language Arts as separate classes. Um, by 5th grade shouldn't you know how to read? These classes just seem so similar. Then again, I do recall a heavy emphasis on sentence diagramming in the 5th and 6th grades, and I would hate to see literature usurped by learning the difference between an adjective and an adverb.

Nintendo CS is awesome!

We came home today to find the wii completely dead--no power at all. Tried turning it off and on and then tried unplugging it for a bit. Nothing. Looked at the owner's manual, and it said to do pretty much what we had just done.

We were already mourning the loss of our beloved wii when I found the cs 800 number in the back of the owner's manual. And miraculously, the line claimed to be open at 8:30! Still, I was prepared to settle in, sit on hold for half an hour to then be transferred to three guys in three different countries, none of whom spoke English as a native language. You know--kinda like the typical experience with Dell.

But there was none of that. I was on hold for less than 30 seconds. The first and only person I spoke with was friendly and pleasant and spoke English very well. Within 5 minutes, he had my problem fixed and my wii is operational again. Yea!

My only complaint was that the basic steps necessary to reset my system weren't in the owner's manual. So what is the secret ritual if your wii has no power?

1) unplug power cord from wall and wii
2) set cord aside away from wii
3) wait exactly 2 minutes
4) plug the power cord back into the wii
5) plug the power cord back into the wall
6) turn on the wii

The helpful phone guy said that the fuse in the power cord had tripped and it took two minutes. Plugging the unit back in in the above order is important so that the fuse doesn't get tripped again.

Interesting Day

• I signed TT up for football. I emailed the league coordinator first to ask about the percentage of girls who played. There have been 4 girls sign up and 200 boys. But, she said that she could put TT on a team with another girl. And I found out later that it is one of their friends from school. Yea!

• DH got a call from a recruiter and has an interview on Friday. It would be a big pay increase and would substantially shorten his 1.5 hour commute (each way). He really likes where he is at right now, but it is worth looking into.

• I think I got a compliment from Big Boss. This morning he came in my office and said, "You know, sometimes I forget that you are fresh out of law school. We've given you a lot of stuff to handle and you've done a pretty good job with it."
  

• We got a letter from opposing counsel accusing us of unethically acquiring certain information and informing us that if we don't respond with an explanation of how we found this information she would take it to the judge. I responded as nicely as possible (ok, maybe not) that we took the information directly from the face of his very own pleading. And then cited back to the exact location in his pleading. Moron.

• I was contacted by a reporter about one of my blog posts.

• I received in the mail a photocopied 9 page handwritten letter from my cousin's almost ex who recently took off with the kids to her homeland half way around the world. I think it may be part of some 12 step program, but it reeked of crazy. It went something like, "I know I've been a crazed psychohosebeast. (Butyouallmademethisway.) I'm sorry I've been a psychotic bitch. (Butyoushouldallbesorrytoo.) I want to come back and mend fences. (ButIdontwantothearfromyouabouthowItotallyfuckedoveryourcousin.) I'm better now and don't want to air our dirty laundry anymore. (EventhoughI'mwritingthisbatshitcrazyletterandsendingittoeverybodyonmyChristmasCardList.) Oh yes, my family tree does runneth over with the crazies. I've probably spoken to this woman once or twice--ever. So she seriously must have sent this thing to everybody.
  

Who knew cakes could be so funny?

This site makes me laugh my ass off.

OMG!

We had terrible thunderstorms in the middle of the night last night. Lots of lightening and thunder that felt like it was right on top of us. One was so loud and so bright that I thought it hit out neighbors house.

We found out this morning that it actually did hit the house at the end of our block--about 8 houses down from us. (Don't ask me how we didn't hear the emergency vehicles, and you can't see from our house because the block curves.) The entire roof it gone. And it hit right over the little girl's bedroom--who is the same age as the twins. Fortunately, everybody got out ok.

I am totally freaked out by this. It is so close to home and could have just as easily been us. It has always worried me that the kids are all upstairs while our master is downstairs. When the kids were babies I would lay in bed at night planning how I would get them all out of the house in case of emergency. (I would also plan how to get 3 kids out of carseats if we ever flew into the water while crossing the bridge that separates our town from the rest of the world.)

And it does not help my freaked-outedness that I am working on a particularly tragic fire case right now. I did not realize going in that I would work more death cases in civil law than I did in crim law.

The true test of a feminist

I was talking to the twins about which fall activity they wanted to do. TT asked what her choices were besides soccer--"Baseball?" she asked. "No, fall sports are soccer, football and cheerleading," I told her. Her top choice was cheerleading, but I missed the sign-up deadline. "Football," she said, "I want to play football."

I took a gulp and chose my words carefully, "you can do whatever sport you want, but I want you to know that football will be mostly boys."

"That's ok," she said.

"Ok," I said. "You can definitely do anything that the boys can do--but you will probably be the only girl on the team."

"That's ok," she said, "I want to play football."

And I copped out and said, "ok, I'll talk to your dad."

Because while the feminist part of me--the part of me that was the first girl to do plenty of activities when I was in high school and college--is battling the mama bear who wants to protect her babies.

I know that DD will be the only girl--even though technically they are co-ed teams. And I don't know what kind of reception she will get. They play in a pretty non-competitive church league--but still . . . I'm afraid that even at 7 there will be boys who have been taught that girls don't play football. And I don't want her to be teased or discouraged. And it might be easier if she were an awesome athletic talent who would kick the boys' tails--but she's not.

I know that I have to let her play, if that is what she really wants. It won't help her grow into the strong independent woman that I want her to be if I always shield her from everything that might hurt her.

Heehee--just as I was finishing up this post TT (who is supposed to be in bed) yelled down the stairs, "Mommm-eeeee! When I asked you to tell me what Daddy said, I meant right now." (It really wasn't in the bratty tone that this reads as.)

Guess she doesn't want to wait 'til tomorrow for an answer. So I told her she can do whatever she wants.

Television as it was in the time of the dinosaurs.

This week one of the cable stations was doing marathons of Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie, which seemed like the perfect time to drag the kids away from Hannah Montana (blech!) and introduce them to the great classics.

The great part--they really liked these shows--even with their cheesy effects and dialog.

But the kids were complaining quite a bit when the first episode of Jeannie was in black-and-white. DH finally said, "Black-and-white is not the end of the world!" To which SS replied, without missing a beat, "No, it was the beginning of the world."

But they watched it anyway.

Just call me Webster

I was drafting discovery this week, and it just struck me as odd that I could totally make up whatever definition I wanted for certain words to be used in my requests and their responses.

The case that I was working on involved an agricultural product that I know virtually nothing about. (Well, I know much more than the average person and much less than the average farmer.) But I needed to define the product. And there is no "Dictionary of Agricultural Terminology" sitting in my library. So I making shit up to define what I think this product is.

But it gets trickier than that--because you can't be too narrow in your definition, or your opponent will decide that he doesn't have to reveal everything. This I know, because I got some of those narrowly defined discovery requests a couple of weeks ago. And there were several documents my opponent didn't get because of the narrowness of their request.

I guess I'll see how my definition worked out when I get the responses back.

Blech.

Today was just royally shitty all the way around. Can't really go into details--which just sucks, 'cause what's the point of having a blog to vent on if you can't vent when you really need to? But I don't think I have ever been so happy to get the hell out of the office.

To top off my shitty day, the lady who was supposed to take the last kitten flaked on me--again. I could have given the darn thing away about 5 times to someone else already. First, she didn't show up at our agreed-upon meeting time (which wasn't especially convenient for me anyway). Then she asked if her husband could come by my house at 10:00 pm Sunday night. Ummm, no, I am not inviting strangers to my house at 10:00 pm. So I pulled a lawyer/mom stunt and limited her options to Mon. or Tues. at 7:30 pm, after that the kitten goes elsewhere. She just emailed to say she forgot she had to take her kids to the movies, can we reschedule? Nope, I am tired of dealing with you--go adopt a kitten from a freaking shelter.

I might have had more patience if I hadn't had opposing counsel trying to pull the same shit today. Really people, the world does not revolve around you.

Meanest mom in the whole world

At least that's how I feel today.

We loaded up all the kitties and met a couple of people to adopt them out today. Unfortunately, the first two that we adopted out were PS's favorites. I didn't think it was a big deal, because she has really taken care of and played with them all. But she cried and cried when we gave away the little black one. She isn't usually emotional or overly dramatic, so I think it really hurt her that we gave that particular cat away. Really, if I had known that she had truly grown so attached to it I would have kept it home--but I just wanted to reduce the number of cats in the house and give away whichever ones we could get rid of first.

And in addition to being a mean mom, I am a terrible pet owner. Because we lost mama cat today. We were meeting people in the parking lot of a strip mall because I didn't want a bunch of strangers knowing where I live. So we put all the cats in a carrier and loaded them into the back of the Suburban. When we opened the carrier, inside the Suburban, mama cat spazzed and took off inside the car. She managed to hide in a crawlspace up under the dash. I was trying to coax her out when she jumped, right toward the open door (she has always been very skittish around us). I manages to grab her back leg, but she slipped away and took off in the very crowded parking lot. We looked for about 20 minutes (and it was 108 outside today), but could not spot her anywhere. We went back twice, and DH is about to go again, since the store is closed and we think she will be more likely to come out when there a fewer people around.

But I honestly don't think we have any chance of catching her. Even if we find her, I don't think she will come near us--she is very wary of people. So the wild, stray mama has gone back to being a wild stray. I hate to see the cycle start again, since we hadn't had her spayed yet. And there is so much traffic in that area, that I hope she can escape to a neighborhood where she will be a little safer. Sigh--I feel terrible that we lost the mama.

Meanwhile, we are down to three kittens, and I am meeting with someone tomorrow who wants one of them. The problem is that each of my children has declared a different kitten to be her favorite, so no matter which one I gave away, I am likely to have another child in tears. I knew it would be tough when it came time to give them away.

And since this post has been so depressing--a little funny:

We were driving to meet a potential adopter with the kids and the cats all loaded up. PS was drinking with a styrofoam cup and managed to poke her straw through the bottom of the foam cup, leaking Dr. Pepper everywhere (the kids get a max of 1 soda per week. I had to throw that in because I cringe when I see kids drinking soda all the time.) Of course, the carrier full of kittens was right beside her, and she got Dr. Pepper all over the poor kittens. When we arrived to meet the potential adopter, all of the kittens were soaked and sticky and looking like they had just come through a hurricane--poor little things. The adopter, fortunately, wasn't bothered by wet, sticky kittens, so we managed to give one away and took the others home for a bath.

P.S. Bathing kittens early gets them used to taking baths and supposedly helps tremendously with allergies.

P.P.S. I have never been a big fan of leather seats, but they are great when you have kids who spill sticky stuff all over the car. Just get butt warmers, which are awesome in the winter, and pretty freaking handy when you have PMS, too.

Free kittens to good homes.

My goal this weekend is to find homes for the kittens. They are 8 weeks old now, and although they are all adorable and hilarious, I am really tired of feeding and cleaning up after 7 cats. I also think they need to be completely weaned from the mama, because she is soooo skinny.

We tried to work the people-we-know network first to find homes, but the only one we have given away is the calico. So last night I put them on Craigslist. I had 7 replies by this morning. (Half of which want the calico--I guess calicoes are popular.)

We have decided that the kids can keep two--one of which will probably be the mama, because I think she will be the hardest to find a home for. Of course, they all have their favorites, but I told them they are going to be stuck with the leftovers, because I will give away which ever ones I can. Besides the favorites are all male, and I would really prefer a female. As far as I can tell the only female is this one:

I love her little spilt face. But she drives DH crazy because she thinks he is a tree.

So here's hoping that not all of the Craigslist responders are freaks and flakes and that I can find good homes for these little sweeties.

Insane Week

It has been a late night every day this week. Big Boss has been out of town a lot lately, but now he is back and throwing stuff at me left and right. Meanwhile, I don't think Partner is aware of this, and keeps loading me up, too.

I lost half my day yesterday searching for 1000 pages of documents that we produced in a case back in March. I had half the administrative staff turning the office upside down looking for these documents that seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth. Turned out they were in the office of a paralegal that I didn't even think was working for us when we did that production and who nobody remembers giving the docs to. (It wasn't me--I wasn't giving orders to anybody back then.) After that fiasco, Big Boss has been giving me periodic lectures on how to manage the staff.

I had two assignments due by the end of the day, and I only got one done. And I have two more assignments due by tomorrow. Plus another CLE presentation for Partner. And a ton of other stuff.

And I have learned what kind of kind of law I definitely don't want to practice. Most of what I do is insurance defense, which I like. But I have one case where we are coverage counsel, and it sucks. I hate everything about that case. Coverage issues are hard, detailed and there are no real answers, even there are millions of coverage cases. Every time I have to research a coverage issue it takes hours. I keep hoping this case will just go away, but every week there is some new issue. I was complaining about it to another associate, and she said, there will always be one case that will drive you absolutely crazy. This is it for me.

Feet at night

When PS was a baby her favorite book was "The Foot Book" by Dr. Seuss. We read it so many times that we both had it memorized.

At night, when I tucked her in, I would always say, "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite. See you in the morning."

And one night she piped up, "Feet at night!"

I guess she thought I was saying "Feet in the morning," and was just repeating the next line of the book.

So even now, when we go through our nightly routine, we end with "feet at night."

Today

July 24 has historically proved to be a day where I work hard, endure a lot of pain, but end up with awesome results. 7 years ago I gave birth to my twins. 1 year ago I took the bar--with an abscessed tooth that caused tremendous pain and a complete inability to sleep for the entire 3 days. Yet, against all odds, I managed to pass.

I'm not sure that there is much that could top the results of either of those days.

Today I had my first big screw-up at work. About a month ago Big Boss told me that I needed to notice two depos and include subpoenas ducas tecum (that just means to bring certain docs to the depo, for all you non-lawyer folk). Well, scheduling the depos took forever, and I got so caught up in scheduling that I completely forgot about he subpoenas. My depo notices went out Monday without the notices.

Big Boss asked to see the notices today and was pretty PO'd that I had forgotten the subpoenas. Because while regular old depos only require reasonable notice, the subpoenas require 30 days notice. And my depos are set in 2 1/2 weeks. So my depos will probably be quashed and I will be back to square 1. (And yes, even if I had remembered the subpoenas when the original notices when out on Monday I would still have been inside 30 days, and still screwed.)

Fortunately, he got over his irritation pretty quickly and seemed impressed that I got my amended notices turned around quickly. By the end of the day he told me that I had done a good job and not to worry about anything.

Now I'm just paranoid about another screw up where I might not be so easily forgiven.

And now I need to go to bed, because for the second time in 2 weeks I have to get up at 4:30. (4:30 is a time when one goes to bed after a long night, not a time when one gets up.) I have to meet a client in the middle of nowhere by 9:00 am. Convenient for them--not so much for me.

The Twenty-Year Meme

I was tagged by PT.

The Twenty-Year Meme

20 years ago I:
1. Was 13.
2. Kissed a boy for the first time at – wait for it –band camp. (Oh yeah, I was the cool kid!)
3. Was best friends with a girl whose name rhymes with mine and who sort of resembled me, so we would pretend we were twins when we went places.
4. Would hang out at best friend’s dad’s Harley shop after school.
5. Was a “mean girl” to some of my friends from elementary school (for which I now feel really, really terrible.)
6. Really, really wanted a boyfriend.

10 years ago I:
1. Had just graduated from college
2. Did not want children.
3. Was 7 months pregnant with PS.
4. Was trying to help DH find a job and freaking out that we were going to have to go on welfare because he didn’t graduate for another month and I was the primary bread-winner earning about $14k/year as a customer service rep for a satellite television company.
5. Moved to Big City – 3 weeks before PS was born, when it was 113 degrees outside.
6. Refused to buy girlie things for my baby because I didn’t want to pre-form her ideas about gender roles (can you tell I was a psych major?)

5 years ago I:
1. Was wrangling two-year-old twins and a 4 year-old.
2. Was fantasizing about running away from home because I was unhappy as a SAHM.
3. Took the LSAT to combat above fantasies.
4. Had my first hangover at – wait for it – a Mothers of Twins Convention. We also got threatened with getting kicked out of out hotel room because I used my almost-lawyer skills to wrangle the Presidential Suite, which turned into the Party Suite.
5. Was buying my first home—and driving the home-builder and my mortgage broker crazy with working out the details.
6. Found out that I did not get admitted to my top choice law school and cried.

3 years ago I:
1. Transferred from crappy law school to top choice law school (that’s really unfair, the first school wasn’t bad—it just wasn’t highly ranked and I would probably still be looking for a job if I had graduated from there.)
2. Was juggling 4 year old twins, a 6 year old and my second year of law school.
3. Interned for a civil court judge—which I loved.
4. Was no longer fantasizing about running away from home.
5. Celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary.
6. Turned 30, and went into a 6 month funk about being old.

So far this year I:
1. Finally got a damn job!
2. Started actually liking my job.
3. Have visited three of the most undesirable cities in the state for my job.
4. Have felt guilt about working too much and not seeing my children enough.
5. Watched my children grown in to funny and amazing little people, and realized that my babies aren’t babies anymore.

Yesterday I:
1. Went to work
2. Got my A/C fixed
3. Had an ultrasound of my gallbladder.
4. Scheduled an appointment with a surgeon because the gallbladder is full of stones.
5. Confirmed appointment for endometrial ablation and $350 deductible.
6. Tried to figure out how I am going to tell work that I need time off for two medical procedures.

Today I:
1. Went to work early because DH was able to drop the girls off.
2. Contemplated Starbucks and was amazed at my own willpower to resist.
3. Contemplated whether I should order the twins a cake for their birthday Thursday.
4. Found out that I will be traveling to yet another undesirable city for work on Friday.
5. Had chipotle-crusted steak and “Crash Hot Potatoes” made by DH for dinner. Yum!
6. Combed the girls’ hair after their baths and kissed their sweet little cheeks goodnight.

Tomorrow I will:
1. Go to work.
2. Find homes for the 7 cats still living in my powder room.
3. Order a birthday cake for the twins.
4. Call PS, who is visiting in Hometown, and tell her that I love her and that I miss her.
5. Gee, I just don’t have much on my plate for tomorrow.

In the next year I will:
1. Go to Disney World (we’re thinking Christmas.)
2. Have second graders—and a fifth grader (I can’t be that old!)
3. Will take a trip with just DH—no kids.
4. Will have been a lawyer for a year.
5. Gee, I don’t have much on my plate for the next year.

I tag who-ever wants to do this one. It takes a while and I know a bunch of y'all are studying for the bar. But if you need a study break, have at it--it's fun!

Grumble, Grumble

My regular nanny is in her mid-sixties. Her husband is retired, they live in a much nicer house than mine, she drives a Caddy and her last vacation was to Hawaii. I think that she works mostly to keep herself from getting bored.

With our commutes from the 'burbs to the city, DH and I are gone almost 11 hours a day. Recognizing that this makes for a really long day, 5 days a week, (and especially in light of her age) I asked my nanny at the beginning of the summer to let me bring someone else in part of the time. She reluctantly agreed and I hired a second nanny (Jenny) on the schedule recommended by first nanny (Lucy). Lucy works all day W, Th, Fri and Jenny works M, Tu.

But Jenny needed 3 weeks off in July for a previously planned trip, so to keep Lucy from having to work it all herself, I put the girls in a gymnastics day camp for one week, giving Lucy all last week off. I had told Lucy early in the summer that I would try to put the girls in a couple of camps over the summer so that they wouldn't get bored and to give her a bit of a break.

Well, the girls LOVED gymnastics camp. They were kept busy, did lots of fun things and made friends. The local gymnastics center basically has this "camp" all summer long, in morning and afternoon sessions (or all day like they did last week) at very reasonable rates. So I told the girls that I would sign them up for a few half day sessions over the rest of the summer.

So, I went ahead and signed them up for the morning session this M, Tu, and Wed. Jenny is still on vacation, so Lucy was to be watching them--even through M & Tu aren't her regular days. I called today to let her know that she would only need to watch the girls in the afternoon.

She was not happy--her response was, "well, maybe you just need to put them someplace like that all the time. It doesn't sound like you need me anymore the way you are cutting my hours, with giving me all last week off and then taking my hours this week."

WTH? I will admit that it was probably unfair to not give her more notice. But I am going to do what I feel is in the best interest of my children. When they are at the camp they are hanging out with other kids and being active. Most importantly, they are not watching tv, playing video games or on the computer. Additionally, I think the reduced hours (about 6 hours) are better for Lucy. The days when she watches the girls all day she looks exhausted when I come home.

Lucy is great for the twins. She is like a grandmother to them and I know that she genuinely loves them. She has never once called in sick or been late. But, I don't think that she is especially active with the kids. I think that she lets them watch too much tv, and leaves them to their own devices a little too much. I usually leave chores for the kids in the morning, and more and more often, she is not making sure that they do them. And she has had some run-ins with PS lately that I am not thrilled about. PS is moody and a know-it-all and I know that she can be hard to take sometimes, so I usually give Lucy the benefit of the doubt. But a couple of things lately have indicated a little too much preference for the twins and too little patience with PS.

So, the griping about her hours really kind of pissed me off. Because Lucy had done very well in the finance department this summer. I could have put my girls in day care all summer for about 60% of what I pay her. And honestly, budgeting for full-time child care this summer has severely impacted our budget in other areas.

But I don't see us replacing Lucy. The twins would be devastated. And she works very well during the school year, when her hours are shorter (and she and PS have to spend less time together.) And I know that I would never find anyone as dependable again. (Although I really need someone willing to do housework.) So I guess I'll just suck it up and bitch here.

Fabulous

I woke up early this morning hot. Usually I get cold in the middle of the night, so this seemed strange. But I thought that maybe it was because we slept with the door closed and the air wasn't circulating well. But in the hall, the thermostat read 80. And the upstairs thermostat read 85. And they both kept rising from there.

DH did a bit of poking around and it appears that our a/c is out. And, of course, it's Sunday, so we'd likely have to pay triple rates to get someone out today. And the average temperature this time of year is about 100 (yes, literally).

I swear it i getting hotter as I type (well, probably the laptop on my lap doesn't help.) I think we are going to have to get out of the house today and go camp out someplace with air conditioning.

In other news

Warning, kinda gross girlie stuff.

I visited my OB/gyn today because I have periods from hell. He recommended endometrial ablation, which basically burns away the lining of the uterus. It is a minor day surgery that could make my periods disappear completely or at least make them substantially easier to deal with. For me, he said, there are no real negatives. (I believe this procedure is not recommended for anyone intending to have children.) If I have it done on Friday I will be back at work on Monday.

He had mentioned this before and I have researched it some and was instantly on board. I am not one to voluntarily undergo medical procedures, but I can't deal with having to be in the restroom every hour and ruining at least one outfit every single month.

So I am all set up to have this done in September.

I also visited my general practitioner regarding my gallbladder. (Two docs in one week is a miracle, I usually see one doc every two years.) I have an ultrasound on Monday and then will need to meet with a surgeon. I'm not so sure about gallbladder surgery. I don't want to give up a whole body part unless I am absolutely convinced that it what is causing my issues.

Oh no she didn't!

I have spent the last week trying to coordinate a deposition in a multi-party case. One attorney in particular has been a royal PITA and everyone has been dragging their feet and refusing to commit. I needed a commitment ASAP before everyone's calendar changed again. This morning I finally sent an email that I would notice the depos for the dates we have been discussing if I did not have confirmation of availability by 4:00 this afternoon.

At 3:40 opposing counsel called to ok the dates I had proposed and told me she would fax over a letter stating as much. By 4:30 I had the letter and asked my secretary to notice the depos. Secretary asked, "Does Partner want this to go out today?" I replied, "I don't know what he wants, but I need it to go out as soon as possible." Because I wanted to make sure that these dates are set in stone ASAP.

Ten minutes later Secretary comes by my office and says, "Partner said those notices don't need to go out today."

WTF? I was furious. You don't go around one supervisor to another because you don't want to do something. I know it was because she was afraid she would have to stay 5 minutes late (although it shouldn't take 10 minutes to notice depos.) And if she had an issue with not being able to get it done then she should have told me as much instead of going to Partner. Because Partner hasn't had to deal with PITA lawyer (who told me her calender was open "right this nanosecond") for the last week. I would have just done the f'ing notices myself.

Sickie

I woke up at 5:30 this morning with icky stomach stuff (I'll spare the details.) Tried unsuccessfully to go back the bed, and then tried unsuccessfully to shower and get ready for work. While I can usually push through most illnesses and get the job done, a stomach bug just really isn't the kind of thing you want to suffer through in a public place. And besides I don't want to risk infecting my co-workers. So I finally gave up and emailed-in sick.

PS is out of town, and today was the first day of the twins' day camp, so I have the whole house to myself--a rare luxury. I went back to sleep for a couple of hours and then finished off a novel and now I am a little restless.

I am feeling a little better and contemplated going to the office for a few hours, but I am feeling a little drained now, and there are still periodic waves of nausea. I don't really have anything that I can work on from home.

Since this little episode seems to be passing fairly quickly, I am somewhat concerned that it is an issue with my gallbladder rather than a bug. When I was pg with my twins, I was told that I had gallstones and should have my gallbladder removed 3 weeks after they were born. Of course, I didn't. My gallbladder wasn't causing my any problems, and I had 2 newborns to care for. I occasionally have a dull pain in the gallbladder area, but never severe enough to warrant a doctor's visits (I really hate going to the doctor).

But last Saturday I woke up with the most excruciating pain in my side. It hurt to breathe or move--a lot like it felt when I had broken ribs. I was actually on hold with the doc's answering service (which I have never called, except when I was going into labor, and even then, when my water broke in the middle of the night, I waited until 7 am to call so that I wouldn't wake the doc) when the pain suddenly subsided. So I hung up and went about my day without issue. But I am convinced that the pain was caused by passing a gallstone. I was writhing much like DH does when he has a kidney stone, except that it was definitely in the gallbladder area and not the kidney area.

And last Friday, I started feeling quite nauseated on the plane home from the hearing I attended. It, too, cleared up by the end of the day. All of this together leads me to believe that my gallbladder is acting up, rather than just a bug.

And to complicate my life further, I already have a visit with my ob/gyn scheduled for the end of the week, where I am likely going to demand that he blast away the lining of my uterus because my period has gotten so far out of control. We have discussed this before, but decided to try hormone therapy instead. It didn't work, and what should be a monthly inconvenience has become a major intrusion.

Think they can take my gallbladder and my uterine lining at the time? I don't want to take time off for two different procedures, although neither is very complicated. Of course this is all speculation based on my internet self-diagnosis, anyway.

What to get for the kids who have everything?

The twins' 7th birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and I don't have a clue what to get them. DH and I are going to take them to the amusement park for the day, but I think little kids need something they can unwrap on their birthday. And the amusement park thing is in lieu of a party--not really intended to be their "gift."

But my kids already have too much of everything, and I am concerned about fostering materialism. They have zillions of toys, CD players, game consoles, board games and about a million books. I considered getting them mp3 players, but I'm not sure they would really get much use from them since they already have the CD players.

I feel like I am just looking for something to spend money on.

I have this problem when I have to buy a gift for just about anybody. It seems like everybody has everything they need. Myself included. It infuriates my inlaws when they ask what I want and I never have an answer. But the truth is that I just don't need any more stuff--and neither do my kids. If they really feel they need to get me something, I'd prefer a Starbucks GC, so that I can get my morning lattes guilt-free (yes, I do feel a tad guilty when I hand over $5 for my morning coffee, because there has got to be a better way to spend $5), or a spa GC. I don't even want retail GC's, because they are just used to buy more stuff, which I don't need or want.

And so it is with my kiddos. Except not even a Starbucks or spa GC works for 7 year olds (although they did keep stealing sips of my Frap. this morning). I guess I'll keep thinking. The good news is that they are easily pleased. I can get them a pair of PJ's and a new box of 64 crayons and they would be just as happy as if I got them an ipod.

Why aren't there more women in the courtroom?

Women are now graduating law school in equal numbers with men. Yet litigation still seems to be a man's game. What is that about?

I first noticed the lack of women in the courtroom when I interned in the civil courts after my 1L year. There were only a handful of women who ever appeared in court--and I don't think I saw any woman try a case that entire summer.

When I interned in the DA's office, there were equal numbers of male and female prosecutors. But when I observed other matters during morning docket call (in a court of general jurisdiction) there were few women. In fact, the only women who appeared were there for family-law matters. Although this was a small, rural jurisdiction where there isn't much high-end civil litigation going on, anyway.

But today I was in a packed courtroom in one of the largest cities in the U.S. The men outnumbered the women at least 5 to 1. Most of the women were young associates, like me, who were accompanying their bosses. (Although I was actually alone today.) A couple more were ad litems. (One of the female ad litems was wearing a dark pin-striped suit jacket with khakis, a tank top and canvas platform wedges. The ones where the heels are made out of hemp or something. Really, how to you graduate from law school without enough sense to realize this is a huge fashion don't?) My fashion-related digression aside, my point is that civil courtrooms continue to be dominated by men.

Now, to be fair, they were mostly men over the age of 50. I certainly don't expect to see hoards of first and second year male or female associates arguing big cases. So perhaps part of the problem is that it is the most experienced attorneys who are filling the courtrooms. I am sure that there are far more male than female litigators in the 50-year-old range. And, in fact, of those young associates merely there for observation, there did appear to be more women than men.

So I guess the real question is, are there no women in the courtroom because there aren't yet enough experienced female litigators, or are women just not going into litigation--or staying in litigation, which I have been told numerous times is not an area amenable to balancing a family life?

Tired

This week has been busy. I have about 10 cases and that are all taking off at once. It looks like it is going to be a busy fall.

Took PS to the airport today to spend a few weeks with my grandparents. It was her first time to fly alone. I felt ok about it since it was a 45 minute flight to a small, uncrowded airport in Hometown. Still I got teary when I had to let her get on the plane. That surprised me, because I am not typically emotional.

We had to leave the house at 6:15 this morning, which is before I usually even wake up, and now I am pooped. And tomorrow I have to fly to an out-of-town hearing at 6:15 am. That means I need to leave my house about 4:30 am. I think I'll turn in early tonight. Thank goodness tomorrow's Friday.

Real lawyers don't cry

Big boss walked into my office this afternoon and yelled, "Don't you ever go crying to the goddamn Plaintiffs' lawyers because you can't handle a deposition." He was PO'd, but it, fortunately, was not directed at me.

Local counsel on an out-of-state case was supposed to be handling several depos this week. Apparently local counsel thought the Plaintiffs' lawyers were ganging up on her and ended up in tears in the deposition.

Seriously--what kind of lawyer starts crying in a deposition? If you can't take the heat from opposing counsel, you really should not have gone into litigation.

Besides the devastating impact that she has caused to her own career (she got yanked off a very big case), she is also doing nothing to help all the other female litigators. Is my boss going to think of this the next time he is scheduling depos and send a guy instead of me--a potentially hormonal female? I hope not.

Perhaps I sound unsympathetic, but it is frustrating to see a seemingly successful female lawyer flake out in a way that will leave the Good Ol' Boys saying, "yep, that's what you get with a girl."

This is so true

Found at http://www.someecards.com/.

So now they want me

I got a totally random, unsolicited call from a (reputable) headhunter today. Apparently they had a position that they wanted me to apply for. So after all those long months of looking for a job, now they are coming to me. I declined.

Need a post-vacation vacation

I flew in Sunday night and got home around 10:00 pm. I was at work by 8:30 the next morning. DH and the girls drove in Monday and got home about 5:00 pm. Because the fence had blown over, we had to figure out what to do with Bob until we can repair the fence next weekend. So we went and bought a giant dog kennel and were outside until 11:00 pm assembling it. Meanwhile the house is a disaster from unpacking everything.

Tonight I get home about 8:00 pm. DH then realizes that 1) he has a nail in his tire; and 2) he is missing two lug nuts; which leads to 3) one of the lug bolts is sheared off and must be completely replaced. DH's blue collar roots compel him to attempt all car repairs himself. But I convinced him that given this issue's intimate connection with the brake system that it was perhaps better suited for a professional. And he couldn't get the sheared bolt out.

Oh, and my suburban has a spare tire on right now, because we noticed a nail in it right before we were heading home from vacation , so that vehicle needs a tire repair, too.

And Bob the Superdog managed to escape from the kennel that we built last night, so DH had to try to fix that while waiting for me to get home.

Sometimes I feel like I am living in a sitcom.

Back from my vacation to 1957

And I have sunburns in weird places--like my hands and my earlobes (but not the tops of my ears where I actually put sunscreen.)

There were 15 of us in a 3 b/r cabin, 7 of whom were children ranging from 2 months to 9 years. MIL & FIL for one b/r and the couple with the baby got the other. That left the rest of us in a dorm-style loft sleeping in singles. I don't think I have slept in the same room with other adults since I was in college.

I generally get along well with the inlaws, but it was a little too much togetherness. I finally lost my cool when I realized that the men were completely taking advantage of the women-folk. By the third day I had not seen a man wash a single dish or prepare a meal. I hadn't even seen the father of the infant hold his baby, much less feed or change it. The third morning I encouraged DH to go fishing alone with his dad and the other guys. He had been dealing with the girls and their poles the entire time which made it tough for him to relax and actually get to fish. I had absolutely no problem watching the kids for the morning while the guys went out to fish in peace. We planned to meet up with them around lunch-time and grill out at the park where they were fishing.

So lunchtime arrived and we crammed all of the girls and children into my suburban and drove over to meet the guys. My SILs walked over to their husbands while I waited with the kids. When they returned they informed me that the guys wanted us to come back and get them once we had the grill going and lunch was about ready.

WTF? They couldn't reel in their damn poles and come help with either the kids or the lunch. I expressed my unhappiness with the guys treating them like their servants and not doing anything, but apparently the other women didn't agree with my POV. (One SIL even cleaned her DH's fish for him!)

Once we parked, I headed up the hill to have a little chat with DH. I was pretty sure he wasn't the one pulling that crap, but I needed to bitch someone out. One BIL overheard and hauled ass back to the campsite to help out. The others were oblivious.

Overall I was truly stunned at the way one SIL allows her husband to treat her. She waits on him hand and foot. Oh, and the kicker--she is a professional who probably makes 2 to 3 times what her husband makes. It will be interesting to see if things have changed a year from now when she is balancing life as a working mom. (She is the one with the 2 month old, first child, and her maternity leave ends next week.)

Despite the offenses to my feminist sensibilities, it was a nice trip. The area we were in was absolutely gorgeous. There was so much to do and so much history there. And I got to go whitewater rafting for the first time. I have always wanted to go and it was so much fun and a great way to view the scenery.

Vacation

We're taking off on Wednesday to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with all of my in-laws. The cabin is about a 15-hour drive from our house, but Hometown is a half-way point so we will stop there overnight. DH is getting stuck doing the first and last leg of the trip with the girls while I fly in to Hometown so that I can work Wednesday and Monday. It would be nice if we could all fly, but we really need the Suburban to haul all our crap.

Of course, we are totally not prepared. I told the girls to start packing, but I haven't checked what they have put together. I haven't done anything to get my own stuff packed and don't even know what laundry needs to be done.

And then there is all the critters. A neighbor has volunteered to take care of the kittens. (They are doing great, starting to open their eyes and so freakin' cute.) We are boarding Bob. We got an extended feeder for the fish. But the guinea pig-we forgot about the guinea pig. So tomorrow I will be scrambling to find someone to watch the guinea pig. Ack.

And of course I am trying to pack an entire week's work into 3 days. I didn't get home until 9:30 tonight--which didn't help with my packing situation. I have spent three days trying to figure out the million dollar question--literally. My research is directly related to whether my client has $1 mil potential liability or $2 mil potential liability. I think I finally found the definitive answer today, but it took forever and now I am behind on everything.

I should really try to get something done tonight, but really, I just want to go to bed. But if I don't do anything tonight, I have to do it all tomorrow. Wednesday I head straight to the airport from work. This is going to be a long short week.

What's that about nice girls?

Many of us read Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office a while back. One of the suggestions was Don't Feed People. So that immediately came to mind when I entered the kitchen this morning and saw a huge box of cookies and a note from the new (first-year female) associate saying, "I look forward to working with all of you."

Did she just commit corner-office suicide?

I think not. First, they were bakery cookies, not homemade. I think that was a smart move--you don't want to look too housewifey. Second, I think it probably sent a positive signal to the staff that she is a nice person. It's always good to get off on the right foot with the people who can really save your neck. And I think the attorneys--the ones who will actually determine whether she ever gets a corner office--probably didn't even notice. Or just enjoyed their yummy cookies if they did.

A lawyer's thoughts on lawyers

I have been dealing with opposing counsel who is a real PITA. After three extensions, he wouldn't respond to discovery requests until we filed a motion to compel. Then he dumped 10,000 unidentified documents on us. (Be careful what you wish for - we took this case over from original counsel who had drafted very broad RFPs) Then we informed him that his production was not in conformity with the rules, so he produced a 165 page document purportedly ID'ing the documents. We have made numerous attempts to contact him to schedule a deposition and he will not respond. On Friday I guess I will notice the depo without his input and then probably have to file another motion to compel to actually get his client to attend.

This guy is coming off as totally unprofessional. Nothing about this case should require this much contentiousness. I don't know if he doesn't have his act together or if he is just generally an asshole.

Another opposing counsel called today with a rather mundane question. But I could hear her typing every time I said a word. She does this every freaking time she calls--its like she is recording everything I say. Then, because she is typing, she can't formulate her next question, so I am stuck waiting on her to type my answers and figure out what she is going to say next. Highly irritating.

Finally, I sent an email to a co-defendant's counsel. He responded within 10 minutes, answered my question and offered to send me the docs I needed when I didn't even have to ask. Even though we are on the same side of litigation, it is very possible that our clients may have claims against one another. Yet he was professional and courteous. Attorney #1 needs to take lessons from this guy.

In cae you were wondering...

The mama cat is nursing her babies. Maybe she is not feral, because she is letting us approach her now. We left out cat food, but she didn't eat all day, so PS and DH were able to hand fed her some of the kitten formula and some lunch meat. Not ideal, but nursing moms need to stay nourished. We are also trying to supplement the babies in case mom isn't making enough milk. We are thrilled that all of the babies have survived so far.

I talked to the lady who ran the cat shelter that we fostered for. Her shelter is now defunct, but she said that she could give us any supplies that we needed and help us find homes when they are weaned. She also has a cost efficient resourced for having them neutered.

So, if anybody out there wants a kitten, I have 6 and I'd be happy to overnight one (or two or three) to you!

Our Grand Plan

We noticed the mama cat wandering around and decided that it would be best for her to take care of her babies. Except that we think she is feral, and we didn't want her to just come and take the babies, because we didn't know where she would take them and we didn't want the babies to die in the cool weather and rain.

A neighbor came by and tried to bait the mama with one of the kittens. The mama cat was getting pretty close when another neighbor drove up. After that it was clear that the mama cat was not going to come to us.

So the next great idea was to put the kittens (and some food) right by the front door, wait for the mama cat to approach and then slam the front door, trapping her inside. Yeah, that's right--my brilliant plan was to trap a feral cat inside my house. And it actually worked--although we had to wait for over an hour.

The mama cat dashed in and made a grab for one of the babies, and DH managed to shut the door. Of course she freaked once she realized she was trapped and jumped up on the table in my entry, knocking everything (mostly picture frames) to the ground. After a couple of frantic zips around the house she has hid beneath a chair.

Meanwhile we have relocated the kittens, food and a litter box (thankfully leftover from when we were fostering a few months ago) to the powder room where we have locked her in for the night.

If you are questioning my intelligence right now, yeah, so am I. Clearly I have no experience in this department. No, I don't know what I'm going to do with the mama cat tomorrow. But hopefully she will feed her babies tonight. I contacted the lady who ran the cat rescue that we used to foster for, and she said that only 50% of the abandoned kittens that she has had survive.

If you wish hard enough, sometimes your dreams do come true

PS is obsessed with cats. She talks all the time about getting a cat. She has cat posters all over her room. When we went to the library this week, she got books all about cats. So she pretty much thought it was Christmas morning when one of the neighbors knocked on the door to tell us that something was screaming in our flowerbeds. Turns out that something was a litter of kittens. It was pouring rain and they were getting soaked. They don't even have their eyes open, and look to be only a day or two old.

I have no idea what to do with a litter of kittens. I bought kitten formula and a bottle, but they won't take it. I'm terrified that they are going to die and that I will have to explain the circle of life to the kids. Besides the fact that keeping little little girls away from tiny kittens is almost impossible. Even if we get them to feed, I'm afraid my girls might love them to death.

It's always something around here.

Summer has officially begun

Today was the last day of school so I took the day off to attend their awards assemblies and so that I could bring them home afterward. I always feel so badly for the 3 or 4 kids who are left at the end of the day just before the breaks.

But I have to say that I was shocked at all the parents bringing gifts and flowers to their kids. Has completing an elementary school grade become that big of a deal? These weren't even the 6th graders who would be moving on. One of the twins' first-grade classmates was gifted with a Webkinz and another with a huge bouquet of flowers. I suppose that it is possible that these kids accomplished something really great, like making the honor roll for the first time, but my hunch is that is not the case.

I guess I'm just of the mindset that I want my children to recognize their really important accomplishments. And if we over-celebrate every mini-milestone along the way that the big ones will lose their significance. I'm proud of my girls for all finishing the year with straight A's--but I also expect nothing less of them. So they didn't get anything special from me. But we did go to lunch and eat our ice cream first. And now I think we have to get out of the hose and go find something fun do do. Here's to 3 months of "I'm bored!"

An update . . .

. . . since my secretary post continues to be a hot topic. First, for clarification, I am in a mid-sized firm. We have 15-20 attorneys and probably 25-30 support staffers.

I spoke with the office manager yesterday. I told her that I wanted to be clear on what was to be expected from my secretary and other support staff and who I should be asking to do what. I told her that I didn't want to report anyone or cause trouble, but that there were some things that my secretary seemed reluctant to do and that I wanted to make sure that I wasn't out of line in asking her to do these things.

The OM responded that the secretary is responsible for any task that I need her to do that is not billable (or personal--but I have never seen anyone give a secretary a personal task at my firm). If it is something that can be handled by the file clerks or service center, then it is her job to distribute these tasks and ensure that they are completed. But there is nothing that she is not supposed to do.

I made clear that I preferred to handle things for now, and the OM was in agreement. She said that she would step in later, if I needed her to.

At this point, my plan is to be much firmer with my secretary when asking her to do tasks and I will deal with any issues when they occur. I think that confronting her with a list of screw-ups from the last couple of weeks is just going to generate hostility. I should have called her on them immediately.

As for the evaluation--well I'm not going to say anything negative because I just don't think that's fair since I haven't said anything to her before.

Just ask LC

I am somewhat obsessed with my sitemeter reports. Mostly with seeing how people get to my site. I've had two interesting searches this week.

1) "My supervising attorney has a drinking problem and is missing problems. As a legal assistant, what should I do?"

2) "pantyhose court necessary" Which I interpret to ask whether you have to wear pantyhose to court.

Any input reader(s)?

I have no freaking clue how to answer the first. I think an attorney would be ethically obligated to report such a situation. An assistant is probably not bound by the same ethical considerations, but I still think it is an issue that must be addressed. But there is the potential for retaliation. First rule of lawyering, CYA (cover your ass). Start documenting so that you have evidence when you go forward, in case it comes down to your word against his. Then make sure you are in a position to recover if you are retaliated against.

As to the second, I think it is probably a regional thing. I am in a pretty conservative area, but it gets hotter than hell in the summer. I have always worn hose with skirt suits in court, but I never wear hose with pant suits. When I worked in the DA's office, the female attorneys always wore hose, but visiting attorneys who were in court for hearings sometimes did not. I have seen very few female litigators in the civil courts (what the heck is that about?) and I really don't remember what they wore. I hate hose and try to find the sheerest ones possible, but I just don't think I would feel appropriately dressed in court in a skirt suit without hose.

Ick.

I got this mystery envelope at work the other day which turned out to be evaluations. As in I have to evaluate myself--which always sucks. But even worse, I have to evaluate my secretary. I really don't want to do it.

My secretary is a very nice person. We get along great and she tells me when there is food in the kitchen or when Partner is cranky. But I have become increasingly frustrated with her. Since I have become busier and given more responsibility I have had to hand more stuff to her, which I don't think she is happy about.

A couple of weeks ago Partner told me to have Secretary help me with a task. She pretty much told me that she wasn't doing it and would get a file clerk. Then Partner told her to do it, and she told him the same thing! The problem is that the file clerks are backed up and take forever and we needed to be able to work with these docs ASAP. I had a similar request today and I had to absolutely insist that she, not the file clerks, put my pleadings file together so that I would have a file to work with. We have had similar issues with copies. She will not make copies.

And several time in recent weeks I have had to redo a fairly simple task that she was given. Things I might expect a newbie to need help with, but this is someone who has been a legal secretary for 20 years or more. (Shouldn't she know more than me?) Having to give her explicit instructions for every task takes so much time I might as well do it myself. (But I have been told repeatedly not to do things that the secretaries can do.)

Argh. Maybe it sounds peevish, but I really don't think I am being unreasonable. I can go days without needing anything from my secretary. She does no typing for me, and she is only assigned to my supervising partner and me.

So, I don't want to do the evaluation. Because on the one hand, I don't want to say anything negative that will impact her financially, or that will look like its coming out of the blue, because I haven't addressed these issues with her directly. I also don't want to look like a demanding diva baby-lawyer. Because I'm really not. I probably don't utilize my secretary nearly as much as I should, and I try to give her as much notice and time as possible when I need something done. I'm also not sure if Partner has noticed these issues--or if he will think "what the heck is she talking about?" if I bring it up. (I know I need to talk to Partner, but since she sits right outside his office, its kind of hard.)

On the other hand, I think some of these things need to be addressed. But I think it might be better to handle it gradually than suddenly in an evaluation. So I don't know what to do. Blech.

Amazing

http://yesboleh.blogspot.com/2008/05/chinese-policewoman-helps-quake-effort.html