I was tagged by PT.
The Twenty-Year Meme
20 years ago I:
1. Was 13.
2. Kissed a boy for the first time at – wait for it –band camp. (Oh yeah, I was the cool kid!)
3. Was best friends with a girl whose name rhymes with mine and who sort of resembled me, so we would pretend we were twins when we went places.
4. Would hang out at best friend’s dad’s Harley shop after school.
5. Was a “mean girl” to some of my friends from elementary school (for which I now feel really, really terrible.)
6. Really, really wanted a boyfriend.
10 years ago I:
1. Had just graduated from college
2. Did not want children.
3. Was 7 months pregnant with PS.
4. Was trying to help DH find a job and freaking out that we were going to have to go on welfare because he didn’t graduate for another month and I was the primary bread-winner earning about $14k/year as a customer service rep for a satellite television company.
5. Moved to Big City – 3 weeks before PS was born, when it was 113 degrees outside.
6. Refused to buy girlie things for my baby because I didn’t want to pre-form her ideas about gender roles (can you tell I was a psych major?)
5 years ago I:
1. Was wrangling two-year-old twins and a 4 year-old.
2. Was fantasizing about running away from home because I was unhappy as a SAHM.
3. Took the LSAT to combat above fantasies.
4. Had my first hangover at – wait for it – a Mothers of Twins Convention. We also got threatened with getting kicked out of out hotel room because I used my almost-lawyer skills to wrangle the Presidential Suite, which turned into the Party Suite.
5. Was buying my first home—and driving the home-builder and my mortgage broker crazy with working out the details.
6. Found out that I did not get admitted to my top choice law school and cried.
3 years ago I:
1. Transferred from crappy law school to top choice law school (that’s really unfair, the first school wasn’t bad—it just wasn’t highly ranked and I would probably still be looking for a job if I had graduated from there.)
2. Was juggling 4 year old twins, a 6 year old and my second year of law school.
3. Interned for a civil court judge—which I loved.
4. Was no longer fantasizing about running away from home.
5. Celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary.
6. Turned 30, and went into a 6 month funk about being old.
So far this year I:
1. Finally got a damn job!
2. Started actually liking my job.
3. Have visited three of the most undesirable cities in the state for my job.
4. Have felt guilt about working too much and not seeing my children enough.
5. Watched my children grown in to funny and amazing little people, and realized that my babies aren’t babies anymore.
Yesterday I:
1. Went to work
2. Got my A/C fixed
3. Had an ultrasound of my gallbladder.
4. Scheduled an appointment with a surgeon because the gallbladder is full of stones.
5. Confirmed appointment for endometrial ablation and $350 deductible.
6. Tried to figure out how I am going to tell work that I need time off for two medical procedures.
Today I:
1. Went to work early because DH was able to drop the girls off.
2. Contemplated Starbucks and was amazed at my own willpower to resist.
3. Contemplated whether I should order the twins a cake for their birthday Thursday.
4. Found out that I will be traveling to yet another undesirable city for work on Friday.
5. Had chipotle-crusted steak and “Crash Hot Potatoes” made by DH for dinner. Yum!
6. Combed the girls’ hair after their baths and kissed their sweet little cheeks goodnight.
Tomorrow I will:
1. Go to work.
2. Find homes for the 7 cats still living in my powder room.
3. Order a birthday cake for the twins.
4. Call PS, who is visiting in Hometown, and tell her that I love her and that I miss her.
5. Gee, I just don’t have much on my plate for tomorrow.
In the next year I will:
1. Go to Disney World (we’re thinking Christmas.)
2. Have second graders—and a fifth grader (I can’t be that old!)
3. Will take a trip with just DH—no kids.
4. Will have been a lawyer for a year.
5. Gee, I don’t have much on my plate for the next year.
I tag who-ever wants to do this one. It takes a while and I know a bunch of y'all are studying for the bar. But if you need a study break, have at it--it's fun!
7/22/08
7/20/08
Grumble, Grumble
My regular nanny is in her mid-sixties. Her husband is retired, they live in a much nicer house than mine, she drives a Caddy and her last vacation was to Hawaii. I think that she works mostly to keep herself from getting bored.
With our commutes from the 'burbs to the city, DH and I are gone almost 11 hours a day. Recognizing that this makes for a really long day, 5 days a week, (and especially in light of her age) I asked my nanny at the beginning of the summer to let me bring someone else in part of the time. She reluctantly agreed and I hired a second nanny (Jenny) on the schedule recommended by first nanny (Lucy). Lucy works all day W, Th, Fri and Jenny works M, Tu.
But Jenny needed 3 weeks off in July for a previously planned trip, so to keep Lucy from having to work it all herself, I put the girls in a gymnastics day camp for one week, giving Lucy all last week off. I had told Lucy early in the summer that I would try to put the girls in a couple of camps over the summer so that they wouldn't get bored and to give her a bit of a break.
Well, the girls LOVED gymnastics camp. They were kept busy, did lots of fun things and made friends. The local gymnastics center basically has this "camp" all summer long, in morning and afternoon sessions (or all day like they did last week) at very reasonable rates. So I told the girls that I would sign them up for a few half day sessions over the rest of the summer.
So, I went ahead and signed them up for the morning session this M, Tu, and Wed. Jenny is still on vacation, so Lucy was to be watching them--even through M & Tu aren't her regular days. I called today to let her know that she would only need to watch the girls in the afternoon.
She was not happy--her response was, "well, maybe you just need to put them someplace like that all the time. It doesn't sound like you need me anymore the way you are cutting my hours, with giving me all last week off and then taking my hours this week."
WTH? I will admit that it was probably unfair to not give her more notice. But I am going to do what I feel is in the best interest of my children. When they are at the camp they are hanging out with other kids and being active. Most importantly, they are not watching tv, playing video games or on the computer. Additionally, I think the reduced hours (about 6 hours) are better for Lucy. The days when she watches the girls all day she looks exhausted when I come home.
Lucy is great for the twins. She is like a grandmother to them and I know that she genuinely loves them. She has never once called in sick or been late. But, I don't think that she is especially active with the kids. I think that she lets them watch too much tv, and leaves them to their own devices a little too much. I usually leave chores for the kids in the morning, and more and more often, she is not making sure that they do them. And she has had some run-ins with PS lately that I am not thrilled about. PS is moody and a know-it-all and I know that she can be hard to take sometimes, so I usually give Lucy the benefit of the doubt. But a couple of things lately have indicated a little too much preference for the twins and too little patience with PS.
So, the griping about her hours really kind of pissed me off. Because Lucy had done very well in the finance department this summer. I could have put my girls in day care all summer for about 60% of what I pay her. And honestly, budgeting for full-time child care this summer has severely impacted our budget in other areas.
But I don't see us replacing Lucy. The twins would be devastated. And she works very well during the school year, when her hours are shorter (and she and PS have to spend less time together.) And I know that I would never find anyone as dependable again. (Although I really need someone willing to do housework.) So I guess I'll just suck it up and bitch here.
With our commutes from the 'burbs to the city, DH and I are gone almost 11 hours a day. Recognizing that this makes for a really long day, 5 days a week, (and especially in light of her age) I asked my nanny at the beginning of the summer to let me bring someone else in part of the time. She reluctantly agreed and I hired a second nanny (Jenny) on the schedule recommended by first nanny (Lucy). Lucy works all day W, Th, Fri and Jenny works M, Tu.
But Jenny needed 3 weeks off in July for a previously planned trip, so to keep Lucy from having to work it all herself, I put the girls in a gymnastics day camp for one week, giving Lucy all last week off. I had told Lucy early in the summer that I would try to put the girls in a couple of camps over the summer so that they wouldn't get bored and to give her a bit of a break.
Well, the girls LOVED gymnastics camp. They were kept busy, did lots of fun things and made friends. The local gymnastics center basically has this "camp" all summer long, in morning and afternoon sessions (or all day like they did last week) at very reasonable rates. So I told the girls that I would sign them up for a few half day sessions over the rest of the summer.
So, I went ahead and signed them up for the morning session this M, Tu, and Wed. Jenny is still on vacation, so Lucy was to be watching them--even through M & Tu aren't her regular days. I called today to let her know that she would only need to watch the girls in the afternoon.
She was not happy--her response was, "well, maybe you just need to put them someplace like that all the time. It doesn't sound like you need me anymore the way you are cutting my hours, with giving me all last week off and then taking my hours this week."
WTH? I will admit that it was probably unfair to not give her more notice. But I am going to do what I feel is in the best interest of my children. When they are at the camp they are hanging out with other kids and being active. Most importantly, they are not watching tv, playing video games or on the computer. Additionally, I think the reduced hours (about 6 hours) are better for Lucy. The days when she watches the girls all day she looks exhausted when I come home.
Lucy is great for the twins. She is like a grandmother to them and I know that she genuinely loves them. She has never once called in sick or been late. But, I don't think that she is especially active with the kids. I think that she lets them watch too much tv, and leaves them to their own devices a little too much. I usually leave chores for the kids in the morning, and more and more often, she is not making sure that they do them. And she has had some run-ins with PS lately that I am not thrilled about. PS is moody and a know-it-all and I know that she can be hard to take sometimes, so I usually give Lucy the benefit of the doubt. But a couple of things lately have indicated a little too much preference for the twins and too little patience with PS.
So, the griping about her hours really kind of pissed me off. Because Lucy had done very well in the finance department this summer. I could have put my girls in day care all summer for about 60% of what I pay her. And honestly, budgeting for full-time child care this summer has severely impacted our budget in other areas.
But I don't see us replacing Lucy. The twins would be devastated. And she works very well during the school year, when her hours are shorter (and she and PS have to spend less time together.) And I know that I would never find anyone as dependable again. (Although I really need someone willing to do housework.) So I guess I'll just suck it up and bitch here.
Fabulous
I woke up early this morning hot. Usually I get cold in the middle of the night, so this seemed strange. But I thought that maybe it was because we slept with the door closed and the air wasn't circulating well. But in the hall, the thermostat read 80. And the upstairs thermostat read 85. And they both kept rising from there.
DH did a bit of poking around and it appears that our a/c is out. And, of course, it's Sunday, so we'd likely have to pay triple rates to get someone out today. And the average temperature this time of year is about 100 (yes, literally).
I swear it i getting hotter as I type (well, probably the laptop on my lap doesn't help.) I think we are going to have to get out of the house today and go camp out someplace with air conditioning.
DH did a bit of poking around and it appears that our a/c is out. And, of course, it's Sunday, so we'd likely have to pay triple rates to get someone out today. And the average temperature this time of year is about 100 (yes, literally).
I swear it i getting hotter as I type (well, probably the laptop on my lap doesn't help.) I think we are going to have to get out of the house today and go camp out someplace with air conditioning.
7/18/08
In other news
Warning, kinda gross girlie stuff.
I visited my OB/gyn today because I have periods from hell. He recommended endometrial ablation, which basically burns away the lining of the uterus. It is a minor day surgery that could make my periods disappear completely or at least make them substantially easier to deal with. For me, he said, there are no real negatives. (I believe this procedure is not recommended for anyone intending to have children.) If I have it done on Friday I will be back at work on Monday.
He had mentioned this before and I have researched it some and was instantly on board. I am not one to voluntarily undergo medical procedures, but I can't deal with having to be in the restroom every hour and ruining at least one outfit every single month.
So I am all set up to have this done in September.
I also visited my general practitioner regarding my gallbladder. (Two docs in one week is a miracle, I usually see one doc every two years.) I have an ultrasound on Monday and then will need to meet with a surgeon. I'm not so sure about gallbladder surgery. I don't want to give up a whole body part unless I am absolutely convinced that it what is causing my issues.
I visited my OB/gyn today because I have periods from hell. He recommended endometrial ablation, which basically burns away the lining of the uterus. It is a minor day surgery that could make my periods disappear completely or at least make them substantially easier to deal with. For me, he said, there are no real negatives. (I believe this procedure is not recommended for anyone intending to have children.) If I have it done on Friday I will be back at work on Monday.
He had mentioned this before and I have researched it some and was instantly on board. I am not one to voluntarily undergo medical procedures, but I can't deal with having to be in the restroom every hour and ruining at least one outfit every single month.
So I am all set up to have this done in September.
I also visited my general practitioner regarding my gallbladder. (Two docs in one week is a miracle, I usually see one doc every two years.) I have an ultrasound on Monday and then will need to meet with a surgeon. I'm not so sure about gallbladder surgery. I don't want to give up a whole body part unless I am absolutely convinced that it what is causing my issues.
Oh no she didn't!
I have spent the last week trying to coordinate a deposition in a multi-party case. One attorney in particular has been a royal PITA and everyone has been dragging their feet and refusing to commit. I needed a commitment ASAP before everyone's calendar changed again. This morning I finally sent an email that I would notice the depos for the dates we have been discussing if I did not have confirmation of availability by 4:00 this afternoon.
At 3:40 opposing counsel called to ok the dates I had proposed and told me she would fax over a letter stating as much. By 4:30 I had the letter and asked my secretary to notice the depos. Secretary asked, "Does Partner want this to go out today?" I replied, "I don't know what he wants, but I need it to go out as soon as possible." Because I wanted to make sure that these dates are set in stone ASAP.
Ten minutes later Secretary comes by my office and says, "Partner said those notices don't need to go out today."
WTF? I was furious. You don't go around one supervisor to another because you don't want to do something. I know it was because she was afraid she would have to stay 5 minutes late (although it shouldn't take 10 minutes to notice depos.) And if she had an issue with not being able to get it done then she should have told me as much instead of going to Partner. Because Partner hasn't had to deal with PITA lawyer (who told me her calender was open "right this nanosecond") for the last week. I would have just done the f'ing notices myself.
At 3:40 opposing counsel called to ok the dates I had proposed and told me she would fax over a letter stating as much. By 4:30 I had the letter and asked my secretary to notice the depos. Secretary asked, "Does Partner want this to go out today?" I replied, "I don't know what he wants, but I need it to go out as soon as possible." Because I wanted to make sure that these dates are set in stone ASAP.
Ten minutes later Secretary comes by my office and says, "Partner said those notices don't need to go out today."
WTF? I was furious. You don't go around one supervisor to another because you don't want to do something. I know it was because she was afraid she would have to stay 5 minutes late (although it shouldn't take 10 minutes to notice depos.) And if she had an issue with not being able to get it done then she should have told me as much instead of going to Partner. Because Partner hasn't had to deal with PITA lawyer (who told me her calender was open "right this nanosecond") for the last week. I would have just done the f'ing notices myself.
7/14/08
Sickie
I woke up at 5:30 this morning with icky stomach stuff (I'll spare the details.) Tried unsuccessfully to go back the bed, and then tried unsuccessfully to shower and get ready for work. While I can usually push through most illnesses and get the job done, a stomach bug just really isn't the kind of thing you want to suffer through in a public place. And besides I don't want to risk infecting my co-workers. So I finally gave up and emailed-in sick.
PS is out of town, and today was the first day of the twins' day camp, so I have the whole house to myself--a rare luxury. I went back to sleep for a couple of hours and then finished off a novel and now I am a little restless.
I am feeling a little better and contemplated going to the office for a few hours, but I am feeling a little drained now, and there are still periodic waves of nausea. I don't really have anything that I can work on from home.
Since this little episode seems to be passing fairly quickly, I am somewhat concerned that it is an issue with my gallbladder rather than a bug. When I was pg with my twins, I was told that I had gallstones and should have my gallbladder removed 3 weeks after they were born. Of course, I didn't. My gallbladder wasn't causing my any problems, and I had 2 newborns to care for. I occasionally have a dull pain in the gallbladder area, but never severe enough to warrant a doctor's visits (I really hate going to the doctor).
But last Saturday I woke up with the most excruciating pain in my side. It hurt to breathe or move--a lot like it felt when I had broken ribs. I was actually on hold with the doc's answering service (which I have never called, except when I was going into labor, and even then, when my water broke in the middle of the night, I waited until 7 am to call so that I wouldn't wake the doc) when the pain suddenly subsided. So I hung up and went about my day without issue. But I am convinced that the pain was caused by passing a gallstone. I was writhing much like DH does when he has a kidney stone, except that it was definitely in the gallbladder area and not the kidney area.
And last Friday, I started feeling quite nauseated on the plane home from the hearing I attended. It, too, cleared up by the end of the day. All of this together leads me to believe that my gallbladder is acting up, rather than just a bug.
And to complicate my life further, I already have a visit with my ob/gyn scheduled for the end of the week, where I am likely going to demand that he blast away the lining of my uterus because my period has gotten so far out of control. We have discussed this before, but decided to try hormone therapy instead. It didn't work, and what should be a monthly inconvenience has become a major intrusion.
Think they can take my gallbladder and my uterine lining at the time? I don't want to take time off for two different procedures, although neither is very complicated. Of course this is all speculation based on my internet self-diagnosis, anyway.
7/12/08
What to get for the kids who have everything?
The twins' 7th birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and I don't have a clue what to get them. DH and I are going to take them to the amusement park for the day, but I think little kids need something they can unwrap on their birthday. And the amusement park thing is in lieu of a party--not really intended to be their "gift."
But my kids already have too much of everything, and I am concerned about fostering materialism. They have zillions of toys, CD players, game consoles, board games and about a million books. I considered getting them mp3 players, but I'm not sure they would really get much use from them since they already have the CD players.
I feel like I am just looking for something to spend money on.
I have this problem when I have to buy a gift for just about anybody. It seems like everybody has everything they need. Myself included. It infuriates my inlaws when they ask what I want and I never have an answer. But the truth is that I just don't need any more stuff--and neither do my kids. If they really feel they need to get me something, I'd prefer a Starbucks GC, so that I can get my morning lattes guilt-free (yes, I do feel a tad guilty when I hand over $5 for my morning coffee, because there has got to be a better way to spend $5), or a spa GC. I don't even want retail GC's, because they are just used to buy more stuff, which I don't need or want.
And so it is with my kiddos. Except not even a Starbucks or spa GC works for 7 year olds (although they did keep stealing sips of my Frap. this morning). I guess I'll keep thinking. The good news is that they are easily pleased. I can get them a pair of PJ's and a new box of 64 crayons and they would be just as happy as if I got them an ipod.
But my kids already have too much of everything, and I am concerned about fostering materialism. They have zillions of toys, CD players, game consoles, board games and about a million books. I considered getting them mp3 players, but I'm not sure they would really get much use from them since they already have the CD players.
I feel like I am just looking for something to spend money on.
I have this problem when I have to buy a gift for just about anybody. It seems like everybody has everything they need. Myself included. It infuriates my inlaws when they ask what I want and I never have an answer. But the truth is that I just don't need any more stuff--and neither do my kids. If they really feel they need to get me something, I'd prefer a Starbucks GC, so that I can get my morning lattes guilt-free (yes, I do feel a tad guilty when I hand over $5 for my morning coffee, because there has got to be a better way to spend $5), or a spa GC. I don't even want retail GC's, because they are just used to buy more stuff, which I don't need or want.
And so it is with my kiddos. Except not even a Starbucks or spa GC works for 7 year olds (although they did keep stealing sips of my Frap. this morning). I guess I'll keep thinking. The good news is that they are easily pleased. I can get them a pair of PJ's and a new box of 64 crayons and they would be just as happy as if I got them an ipod.
7/11/08
Why aren't there more women in the courtroom?
Women are now graduating law school in equal numbers with men. Yet litigation still seems to be a man's game. What is that about?
I first noticed the lack of women in the courtroom when I interned in the civil courts after my 1L year. There were only a handful of women who ever appeared in court--and I don't think I saw any woman try a case that entire summer.
When I interned in the DA's office, there were equal numbers of male and female prosecutors. But when I observed other matters during morning docket call (in a court of general jurisdiction) there were few women. In fact, the only women who appeared were there for family-law matters. Although this was a small, rural jurisdiction where there isn't much high-end civil litigation going on, anyway.
But today I was in a packed courtroom in one of the largest cities in the U.S. The men outnumbered the women at least 5 to 1. Most of the women were young associates, like me, who were accompanying their bosses. (Although I was actually alone today.) A couple more were ad litems. (One of the female ad litems was wearing a dark pin-striped suit jacket with khakis, a tank top and canvas platform wedges. The ones where the heels are made out of hemp or something. Really, how to you graduate from law school without enough sense to realize this is a huge fashion don't?) My fashion-related digression aside, my point is that civil courtrooms continue to be dominated by men.
Now, to be fair, they were mostly men over the age of 50. I certainly don't expect to see hoards of first and second year male or female associates arguing big cases. So perhaps part of the problem is that it is the most experienced attorneys who are filling the courtrooms. I am sure that there are far more male than female litigators in the 50-year-old range. And, in fact, of those young associates merely there for observation, there did appear to be more women than men.
So I guess the real question is, are there no women in the courtroom because there aren't yet enough experienced female litigators, or are women just not going into litigation--or staying in litigation, which I have been told numerous times is not an area amenable to balancing a family life?
I first noticed the lack of women in the courtroom when I interned in the civil courts after my 1L year. There were only a handful of women who ever appeared in court--and I don't think I saw any woman try a case that entire summer.
When I interned in the DA's office, there were equal numbers of male and female prosecutors. But when I observed other matters during morning docket call (in a court of general jurisdiction) there were few women. In fact, the only women who appeared were there for family-law matters. Although this was a small, rural jurisdiction where there isn't much high-end civil litigation going on, anyway.
But today I was in a packed courtroom in one of the largest cities in the U.S. The men outnumbered the women at least 5 to 1. Most of the women were young associates, like me, who were accompanying their bosses. (Although I was actually alone today.) A couple more were ad litems. (One of the female ad litems was wearing a dark pin-striped suit jacket with khakis, a tank top and canvas platform wedges. The ones where the heels are made out of hemp or something. Really, how to you graduate from law school without enough sense to realize this is a huge fashion don't?) My fashion-related digression aside, my point is that civil courtrooms continue to be dominated by men.
Now, to be fair, they were mostly men over the age of 50. I certainly don't expect to see hoards of first and second year male or female associates arguing big cases. So perhaps part of the problem is that it is the most experienced attorneys who are filling the courtrooms. I am sure that there are far more male than female litigators in the 50-year-old range. And, in fact, of those young associates merely there for observation, there did appear to be more women than men.
So I guess the real question is, are there no women in the courtroom because there aren't yet enough experienced female litigators, or are women just not going into litigation--or staying in litigation, which I have been told numerous times is not an area amenable to balancing a family life?
7/10/08
Tired
This week has been busy. I have about 10 cases and that are all taking off at once. It looks like it is going to be a busy fall.
Took PS to the airport today to spend a few weeks with my grandparents. It was her first time to fly alone. I felt ok about it since it was a 45 minute flight to a small, uncrowded airport in Hometown. Still I got teary when I had to let her get on the plane. That surprised me, because I am not typically emotional.
We had to leave the house at 6:15 this morning, which is before I usually even wake up, and now I am pooped. And tomorrow I have to fly to an out-of-town hearing at 6:15 am. That means I need to leave my house about 4:30 am. I think I'll turn in early tonight. Thank goodness tomorrow's Friday.
Took PS to the airport today to spend a few weeks with my grandparents. It was her first time to fly alone. I felt ok about it since it was a 45 minute flight to a small, uncrowded airport in Hometown. Still I got teary when I had to let her get on the plane. That surprised me, because I am not typically emotional.
We had to leave the house at 6:15 this morning, which is before I usually even wake up, and now I am pooped. And tomorrow I have to fly to an out-of-town hearing at 6:15 am. That means I need to leave my house about 4:30 am. I think I'll turn in early tonight. Thank goodness tomorrow's Friday.
7/2/08
Real lawyers don't cry
Big boss walked into my office this afternoon and yelled, "Don't you ever go crying to the goddamn Plaintiffs' lawyers because you can't handle a deposition." He was PO'd, but it, fortunately, was not directed at me.
Local counsel on an out-of-state case was supposed to be handling several depos this week. Apparently local counsel thought the Plaintiffs' lawyers were ganging up on her and ended up in tears in the deposition.
Seriously--what kind of lawyer starts crying in a deposition? If you can't take the heat from opposing counsel, you really should not have gone into litigation.
Besides the devastating impact that she has caused to her own career (she got yanked off a very big case), she is also doing nothing to help all the other female litigators. Is my boss going to think of this the next time he is scheduling depos and send a guy instead of me--a potentially hormonal female? I hope not.
Perhaps I sound unsympathetic, but it is frustrating to see a seemingly successful female lawyer flake out in a way that will leave the Good Ol' Boys saying, "yep, that's what you get with a girl."
Local counsel on an out-of-state case was supposed to be handling several depos this week. Apparently local counsel thought the Plaintiffs' lawyers were ganging up on her and ended up in tears in the deposition.
Seriously--what kind of lawyer starts crying in a deposition? If you can't take the heat from opposing counsel, you really should not have gone into litigation.
Besides the devastating impact that she has caused to her own career (she got yanked off a very big case), she is also doing nothing to help all the other female litigators. Is my boss going to think of this the next time he is scheduling depos and send a guy instead of me--a potentially hormonal female? I hope not.
Perhaps I sound unsympathetic, but it is frustrating to see a seemingly successful female lawyer flake out in a way that will leave the Good Ol' Boys saying, "yep, that's what you get with a girl."
6/28/08
6/25/08
So now they want me
I got a totally random, unsolicited call from a (reputable) headhunter today. Apparently they had a position that they wanted me to apply for. So after all those long months of looking for a job, now they are coming to me. I declined.
6/24/08
Need a post-vacation vacation
I flew in Sunday night and got home around 10:00 pm. I was at work by 8:30 the next morning. DH and the girls drove in Monday and got home about 5:00 pm. Because the fence had blown over, we had to figure out what to do with Bob until we can repair the fence next weekend. So we went and bought a giant dog kennel and were outside until 11:00 pm assembling it. Meanwhile the house is a disaster from unpacking everything.
Tonight I get home about 8:00 pm. DH then realizes that 1) he has a nail in his tire; and 2) he is missing two lug nuts; which leads to 3) one of the lug bolts is sheared off and must be completely replaced. DH's blue collar roots compel him to attempt all car repairs himself. But I convinced him that given this issue's intimate connection with the brake system that it was perhaps better suited for a professional. And he couldn't get the sheared bolt out.
Oh, and my suburban has a spare tire on right now, because we noticed a nail in it right before we were heading home from vacation , so that vehicle needs a tire repair, too.
And Bob the Superdog managed to escape from the kennel that we built last night, so DH had to try to fix that while waiting for me to get home.
Sometimes I feel like I am living in a sitcom.
Tonight I get home about 8:00 pm. DH then realizes that 1) he has a nail in his tire; and 2) he is missing two lug nuts; which leads to 3) one of the lug bolts is sheared off and must be completely replaced. DH's blue collar roots compel him to attempt all car repairs himself. But I convinced him that given this issue's intimate connection with the brake system that it was perhaps better suited for a professional. And he couldn't get the sheared bolt out.
Oh, and my suburban has a spare tire on right now, because we noticed a nail in it right before we were heading home from vacation , so that vehicle needs a tire repair, too.
And Bob the Superdog managed to escape from the kennel that we built last night, so DH had to try to fix that while waiting for me to get home.
Sometimes I feel like I am living in a sitcom.
Back from my vacation to 1957
And I have sunburns in weird places--like my hands and my earlobes (but not the tops of my ears where I actually put sunscreen.)
There were 15 of us in a 3 b/r cabin, 7 of whom were children ranging from 2 months to 9 years. MIL & FIL for one b/r and the couple with the baby got the other. That left the rest of us in a dorm-style loft sleeping in singles. I don't think I have slept in the same room with other adults since I was in college.
I generally get along well with the inlaws, but it was a little too much togetherness. I finally lost my cool when I realized that the men were completely taking advantage of the women-folk. By the third day I had not seen a man wash a single dish or prepare a meal. I hadn't even seen the father of the infant hold his baby, much less feed or change it. The third morning I encouraged DH to go fishing alone with his dad and the other guys. He had been dealing with the girls and their poles the entire time which made it tough for him to relax and actually get to fish. I had absolutely no problem watching the kids for the morning while the guys went out to fish in peace. We planned to meet up with them around lunch-time and grill out at the park where they were fishing.
So lunchtime arrived and we crammed all of the girls and children into my suburban and drove over to meet the guys. My SILs walked over to their husbands while I waited with the kids. When they returned they informed me that the guys wanted us to come back and get them once we had the grill going and lunch was about ready.
WTF? They couldn't reel in their damn poles and come help with either the kids or the lunch. I expressed my unhappiness with the guys treating them like their servants and not doing anything, but apparently the other women didn't agree with my POV. (One SIL even cleaned her DH's fish for him!)
Once we parked, I headed up the hill to have a little chat with DH. I was pretty sure he wasn't the one pulling that crap, but I needed to bitch someone out. One BIL overheard and hauled ass back to the campsite to help out. The others were oblivious.
Overall I was truly stunned at the way one SIL allows her husband to treat her. She waits on him hand and foot. Oh, and the kicker--she is a professional who probably makes 2 to 3 times what her husband makes. It will be interesting to see if things have changed a year from now when she is balancing life as a working mom. (She is the one with the 2 month old, first child, and her maternity leave ends next week.)
Despite the offenses to my feminist sensibilities, it was a nice trip. The area we were in was absolutely gorgeous. There was so much to do and so much history there. And I got to go whitewater rafting for the first time. I have always wanted to go and it was so much fun and a great way to view the scenery.
There were 15 of us in a 3 b/r cabin, 7 of whom were children ranging from 2 months to 9 years. MIL & FIL for one b/r and the couple with the baby got the other. That left the rest of us in a dorm-style loft sleeping in singles. I don't think I have slept in the same room with other adults since I was in college.
I generally get along well with the inlaws, but it was a little too much togetherness. I finally lost my cool when I realized that the men were completely taking advantage of the women-folk. By the third day I had not seen a man wash a single dish or prepare a meal. I hadn't even seen the father of the infant hold his baby, much less feed or change it. The third morning I encouraged DH to go fishing alone with his dad and the other guys. He had been dealing with the girls and their poles the entire time which made it tough for him to relax and actually get to fish. I had absolutely no problem watching the kids for the morning while the guys went out to fish in peace. We planned to meet up with them around lunch-time and grill out at the park where they were fishing.
So lunchtime arrived and we crammed all of the girls and children into my suburban and drove over to meet the guys. My SILs walked over to their husbands while I waited with the kids. When they returned they informed me that the guys wanted us to come back and get them once we had the grill going and lunch was about ready.
WTF? They couldn't reel in their damn poles and come help with either the kids or the lunch. I expressed my unhappiness with the guys treating them like their servants and not doing anything, but apparently the other women didn't agree with my POV. (One SIL even cleaned her DH's fish for him!)
Once we parked, I headed up the hill to have a little chat with DH. I was pretty sure he wasn't the one pulling that crap, but I needed to bitch someone out. One BIL overheard and hauled ass back to the campsite to help out. The others were oblivious.
Overall I was truly stunned at the way one SIL allows her husband to treat her. She waits on him hand and foot. Oh, and the kicker--she is a professional who probably makes 2 to 3 times what her husband makes. It will be interesting to see if things have changed a year from now when she is balancing life as a working mom. (She is the one with the 2 month old, first child, and her maternity leave ends next week.)
Despite the offenses to my feminist sensibilities, it was a nice trip. The area we were in was absolutely gorgeous. There was so much to do and so much history there. And I got to go whitewater rafting for the first time. I have always wanted to go and it was so much fun and a great way to view the scenery.
6/16/08
Vacation
We're taking off on Wednesday to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with all of my in-laws. The cabin is about a 15-hour drive from our house, but Hometown is a half-way point so we will stop there overnight. DH is getting stuck doing the first and last leg of the trip with the girls while I fly in to Hometown so that I can work Wednesday and Monday. It would be nice if we could all fly, but we really need the Suburban to haul all our crap.
Of course, we are totally not prepared. I told the girls to start packing, but I haven't checked what they have put together. I haven't done anything to get my own stuff packed and don't even know what laundry needs to be done.
And then there is all the critters. A neighbor has volunteered to take care of the kittens. (They are doing great, starting to open their eyes and so freakin' cute.) We are boarding Bob. We got an extended feeder for the fish. But the guinea pig-we forgot about the guinea pig. So tomorrow I will be scrambling to find someone to watch the guinea pig. Ack.
And of course I am trying to pack an entire week's work into 3 days. I didn't get home until 9:30 tonight--which didn't help with my packing situation. I have spent three days trying to figure out the million dollar question--literally. My research is directly related to whether my client has $1 mil potential liability or $2 mil potential liability. I think I finally found the definitive answer today, but it took forever and now I am behind on everything.
I should really try to get something done tonight, but really, I just want to go to bed. But if I don't do anything tonight, I have to do it all tomorrow. Wednesday I head straight to the airport from work. This is going to be a long short week.
Of course, we are totally not prepared. I told the girls to start packing, but I haven't checked what they have put together. I haven't done anything to get my own stuff packed and don't even know what laundry needs to be done.
And then there is all the critters. A neighbor has volunteered to take care of the kittens. (They are doing great, starting to open their eyes and so freakin' cute.) We are boarding Bob. We got an extended feeder for the fish. But the guinea pig-we forgot about the guinea pig. So tomorrow I will be scrambling to find someone to watch the guinea pig. Ack.
And of course I am trying to pack an entire week's work into 3 days. I didn't get home until 9:30 tonight--which didn't help with my packing situation. I have spent three days trying to figure out the million dollar question--literally. My research is directly related to whether my client has $1 mil potential liability or $2 mil potential liability. I think I finally found the definitive answer today, but it took forever and now I am behind on everything.
I should really try to get something done tonight, but really, I just want to go to bed. But if I don't do anything tonight, I have to do it all tomorrow. Wednesday I head straight to the airport from work. This is going to be a long short week.
6/11/08
What's that about nice girls?
Many of us read Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office a while back. One of the suggestions was Don't Feed People. So that immediately came to mind when I entered the kitchen this morning and saw a huge box of cookies and a note from the new (first-year female) associate saying, "I look forward to working with all of you."
Did she just commit corner-office suicide?
I think not. First, they were bakery cookies, not homemade. I think that was a smart move--you don't want to look too housewifey. Second, I think it probably sent a positive signal to the staff that she is a nice person. It's always good to get off on the right foot with the people who can really save your neck. And I think the attorneys--the ones who will actually determine whether she ever gets a corner office--probably didn't even notice. Or just enjoyed their yummy cookies if they did.
Did she just commit corner-office suicide?
I think not. First, they were bakery cookies, not homemade. I think that was a smart move--you don't want to look too housewifey. Second, I think it probably sent a positive signal to the staff that she is a nice person. It's always good to get off on the right foot with the people who can really save your neck. And I think the attorneys--the ones who will actually determine whether she ever gets a corner office--probably didn't even notice. Or just enjoyed their yummy cookies if they did.
A lawyer's thoughts on lawyers
I have been dealing with opposing counsel who is a real PITA. After three extensions, he wouldn't respond to discovery requests until we filed a motion to compel. Then he dumped 10,000 unidentified documents on us. (Be careful what you wish for - we took this case over from original counsel who had drafted very broad RFPs) Then we informed him that his production was not in conformity with the rules, so he produced a 165 page document purportedly ID'ing the documents. We have made numerous attempts to contact him to schedule a deposition and he will not respond. On Friday I guess I will notice the depo without his input and then probably have to file another motion to compel to actually get his client to attend.
This guy is coming off as totally unprofessional. Nothing about this case should require this much contentiousness. I don't know if he doesn't have his act together or if he is just generally an asshole.
Another opposing counsel called today with a rather mundane question. But I could hear her typing every time I said a word. She does this every freaking time she calls--its like she is recording everything I say. Then, because she is typing, she can't formulate her next question, so I am stuck waiting on her to type my answers and figure out what she is going to say next. Highly irritating.
Finally, I sent an email to a co-defendant's counsel. He responded within 10 minutes, answered my question and offered to send me the docs I needed when I didn't even have to ask. Even though we are on the same side of litigation, it is very possible that our clients may have claims against one another. Yet he was professional and courteous. Attorney #1 needs to take lessons from this guy.
This guy is coming off as totally unprofessional. Nothing about this case should require this much contentiousness. I don't know if he doesn't have his act together or if he is just generally an asshole.
Another opposing counsel called today with a rather mundane question. But I could hear her typing every time I said a word. She does this every freaking time she calls--its like she is recording everything I say. Then, because she is typing, she can't formulate her next question, so I am stuck waiting on her to type my answers and figure out what she is going to say next. Highly irritating.
Finally, I sent an email to a co-defendant's counsel. He responded within 10 minutes, answered my question and offered to send me the docs I needed when I didn't even have to ask. Even though we are on the same side of litigation, it is very possible that our clients may have claims against one another. Yet he was professional and courteous. Attorney #1 needs to take lessons from this guy.
6/10/08
In cae you were wondering...
The mama cat is nursing her babies. Maybe she is not feral, because she is letting us approach her now. We left out cat food, but she didn't eat all day, so PS and DH were able to hand fed her some of the kitten formula and some lunch meat. Not ideal, but nursing moms need to stay nourished. We are also trying to supplement the babies in case mom isn't making enough milk. We are thrilled that all of the babies have survived so far.
I talked to the lady who ran the cat shelter that we fostered for. Her shelter is now defunct, but she said that she could give us any supplies that we needed and help us find homes when they are weaned. She also has a cost efficient resourced for having them neutered.
So, if anybody out there wants a kitten, I have 6 and I'd be happy to overnight one (or two or three) to you!
I talked to the lady who ran the cat shelter that we fostered for. Her shelter is now defunct, but she said that she could give us any supplies that we needed and help us find homes when they are weaned. She also has a cost efficient resourced for having them neutered.
So, if anybody out there wants a kitten, I have 6 and I'd be happy to overnight one (or two or three) to you!
6/9/08
Our Grand Plan
We noticed the mama cat wandering around and decided that it would be best for her to take care of her babies. Except that we think she is feral, and we didn't want her to just come and take the babies, because we didn't know where she would take them and we didn't want the babies to die in the cool weather and rain.
A neighbor came by and tried to bait the mama with one of the kittens. The mama cat was getting pretty close when another neighbor drove up. After that it was clear that the mama cat was not going to come to us.
So the next great idea was to put the kittens (and some food) right by the front door, wait for the mama cat to approach and then slam the front door, trapping her inside. Yeah, that's right--my brilliant plan was to trap a feral cat inside my house. And it actually worked--although we had to wait for over an hour.
The mama cat dashed in and made a grab for one of the babies, and DH managed to shut the door. Of course she freaked once she realized she was trapped and jumped up on the table in my entry, knocking everything (mostly picture frames) to the ground. After a couple of frantic zips around the house she has hid beneath a chair.
Meanwhile we have relocated the kittens, food and a litter box (thankfully leftover from when we were fostering a few months ago) to the powder room where we have locked her in for the night.
If you are questioning my intelligence right now, yeah, so am I. Clearly I have no experience in this department. No, I don't know what I'm going to do with the mama cat tomorrow. But hopefully she will feed her babies tonight. I contacted the lady who ran the cat rescue that we used to foster for, and she said that only 50% of the abandoned kittens that she has had survive.
If you wish hard enough, sometimes your dreams do come true
PS is obsessed with cats. She talks all the time about getting a cat. She has cat posters all over her room. When we went to the library this week, she got books all about cats. So she pretty much thought it was Christmas morning when one of the neighbors knocked on the door to tell us that something was screaming in our flowerbeds. Turns out that something was a litter of kittens. It was pouring rain and they were getting soaked. They don't even have their eyes open, and look to be only a day or two old.
I have no idea what to do with a litter of kittens. I bought kitten formula and a bottle, but they won't take it. I'm terrified that they are going to die and that I will have to explain the circle of life to the kids. Besides the fact that keeping little little girls away from tiny kittens is almost impossible. Even if we get them to feed, I'm afraid my girls might love them to death.
It's always something around here.
I have no idea what to do with a litter of kittens. I bought kitten formula and a bottle, but they won't take it. I'm terrified that they are going to die and that I will have to explain the circle of life to the kids. Besides the fact that keeping little little girls away from tiny kittens is almost impossible. Even if we get them to feed, I'm afraid my girls might love them to death.
It's always something around here.
6/5/08
Summer has officially begun
Today was the last day of school so I took the day off to attend their awards assemblies and so that I could bring them home afterward. I always feel so badly for the 3 or 4 kids who are left at the end of the day just before the breaks.
But I have to say that I was shocked at all the parents bringing gifts and flowers to their kids. Has completing an elementary school grade become that big of a deal? These weren't even the 6th graders who would be moving on. One of the twins' first-grade classmates was gifted with a Webkinz and another with a huge bouquet of flowers. I suppose that it is possible that these kids accomplished something really great, like making the honor roll for the first time, but my hunch is that is not the case.
I guess I'm just of the mindset that I want my children to recognize their really important accomplishments. And if we over-celebrate every mini-milestone along the way that the big ones will lose their significance. I'm proud of my girls for all finishing the year with straight A's--but I also expect nothing less of them. So they didn't get anything special from me. But we did go to lunch and eat our ice cream first. And now I think we have to get out of the hose and go find something fun do do. Here's to 3 months of "I'm bored!"
But I have to say that I was shocked at all the parents bringing gifts and flowers to their kids. Has completing an elementary school grade become that big of a deal? These weren't even the 6th graders who would be moving on. One of the twins' first-grade classmates was gifted with a Webkinz and another with a huge bouquet of flowers. I suppose that it is possible that these kids accomplished something really great, like making the honor roll for the first time, but my hunch is that is not the case.
I guess I'm just of the mindset that I want my children to recognize their really important accomplishments. And if we over-celebrate every mini-milestone along the way that the big ones will lose their significance. I'm proud of my girls for all finishing the year with straight A's--but I also expect nothing less of them. So they didn't get anything special from me. But we did go to lunch and eat our ice cream first. And now I think we have to get out of the hose and go find something fun do do. Here's to 3 months of "I'm bored!"
An update . . .
. . . since my secretary post continues to be a hot topic. First, for clarification, I am in a mid-sized firm. We have 15-20 attorneys and probably 25-30 support staffers.
I spoke with the office manager yesterday. I told her that I wanted to be clear on what was to be expected from my secretary and other support staff and who I should be asking to do what. I told her that I didn't want to report anyone or cause trouble, but that there were some things that my secretary seemed reluctant to do and that I wanted to make sure that I wasn't out of line in asking her to do these things.
The OM responded that the secretary is responsible for any task that I need her to do that is not billable (or personal--but I have never seen anyone give a secretary a personal task at my firm). If it is something that can be handled by the file clerks or service center, then it is her job to distribute these tasks and ensure that they are completed. But there is nothing that she is not supposed to do.
I made clear that I preferred to handle things for now, and the OM was in agreement. She said that she would step in later, if I needed her to.
At this point, my plan is to be much firmer with my secretary when asking her to do tasks and I will deal with any issues when they occur. I think that confronting her with a list of screw-ups from the last couple of weeks is just going to generate hostility. I should have called her on them immediately.
As for the evaluation--well I'm not going to say anything negative because I just don't think that's fair since I haven't said anything to her before.
I spoke with the office manager yesterday. I told her that I wanted to be clear on what was to be expected from my secretary and other support staff and who I should be asking to do what. I told her that I didn't want to report anyone or cause trouble, but that there were some things that my secretary seemed reluctant to do and that I wanted to make sure that I wasn't out of line in asking her to do these things.
The OM responded that the secretary is responsible for any task that I need her to do that is not billable (or personal--but I have never seen anyone give a secretary a personal task at my firm). If it is something that can be handled by the file clerks or service center, then it is her job to distribute these tasks and ensure that they are completed. But there is nothing that she is not supposed to do.
I made clear that I preferred to handle things for now, and the OM was in agreement. She said that she would step in later, if I needed her to.
At this point, my plan is to be much firmer with my secretary when asking her to do tasks and I will deal with any issues when they occur. I think that confronting her with a list of screw-ups from the last couple of weeks is just going to generate hostility. I should have called her on them immediately.
As for the evaluation--well I'm not going to say anything negative because I just don't think that's fair since I haven't said anything to her before.
6/3/08
Just ask LC
I am somewhat obsessed with my sitemeter reports. Mostly with seeing how people get to my site. I've had two interesting searches this week.
1) "My supervising attorney has a drinking problem and is missing problems. As a legal assistant, what should I do?"
2) "pantyhose court necessary" Which I interpret to ask whether you have to wear pantyhose to court.
Any input reader(s)?
I have no freaking clue how to answer the first. I think an attorney would be ethically obligated to report such a situation. An assistant is probably not bound by the same ethical considerations, but I still think it is an issue that must be addressed. But there is the potential for retaliation. First rule of lawyering, CYA (cover your ass). Start documenting so that you have evidence when you go forward, in case it comes down to your word against his. Then make sure you are in a position to recover if you are retaliated against.
As to the second, I think it is probably a regional thing. I am in a pretty conservative area, but it gets hotter than hell in the summer. I have always worn hose with skirt suits in court, but I never wear hose with pant suits. When I worked in the DA's office, the female attorneys always wore hose, but visiting attorneys who were in court for hearings sometimes did not. I have seen very few female litigators in the civil courts (what the heck is that about?) and I really don't remember what they wore. I hate hose and try to find the sheerest ones possible, but I just don't think I would feel appropriately dressed in court in a skirt suit without hose.
1) "My supervising attorney has a drinking problem and is missing problems. As a legal assistant, what should I do?"
2) "pantyhose court necessary" Which I interpret to ask whether you have to wear pantyhose to court.
Any input reader(s)?
I have no freaking clue how to answer the first. I think an attorney would be ethically obligated to report such a situation. An assistant is probably not bound by the same ethical considerations, but I still think it is an issue that must be addressed. But there is the potential for retaliation. First rule of lawyering, CYA (cover your ass). Start documenting so that you have evidence when you go forward, in case it comes down to your word against his. Then make sure you are in a position to recover if you are retaliated against.
As to the second, I think it is probably a regional thing. I am in a pretty conservative area, but it gets hotter than hell in the summer. I have always worn hose with skirt suits in court, but I never wear hose with pant suits. When I worked in the DA's office, the female attorneys always wore hose, but visiting attorneys who were in court for hearings sometimes did not. I have seen very few female litigators in the civil courts (what the heck is that about?) and I really don't remember what they wore. I hate hose and try to find the sheerest ones possible, but I just don't think I would feel appropriately dressed in court in a skirt suit without hose.
5/29/08
Ick.
I got this mystery envelope at work the other day which turned out to be evaluations. As in I have to evaluate myself--which always sucks. But even worse, I have to evaluate my secretary. I really don't want to do it.
My secretary is a very nice person. We get along great and she tells me when there is food in the kitchen or when Partner is cranky. But I have become increasingly frustrated with her. Since I have become busier and given more responsibility I have had to hand more stuff to her, which I don't think she is happy about.
A couple of weeks ago Partner told me to have Secretary help me with a task. She pretty much told me that she wasn't doing it and would get a file clerk. Then Partner told her to do it, and she told him the same thing! The problem is that the file clerks are backed up and take forever and we needed to be able to work with these docs ASAP. I had a similar request today and I had to absolutely insist that she, not the file clerks, put my pleadings file together so that I would have a file to work with. We have had similar issues with copies. She will not make copies.
And several time in recent weeks I have had to redo a fairly simple task that she was given. Things I might expect a newbie to need help with, but this is someone who has been a legal secretary for 20 years or more. (Shouldn't she know more than me?) Having to give her explicit instructions for every task takes so much time I might as well do it myself. (But I have been told repeatedly not to do things that the secretaries can do.)
Argh. Maybe it sounds peevish, but I really don't think I am being unreasonable. I can go days without needing anything from my secretary. She does no typing for me, and she is only assigned to my supervising partner and me.
So, I don't want to do the evaluation. Because on the one hand, I don't want to say anything negative that will impact her financially, or that will look like its coming out of the blue, because I haven't addressed these issues with her directly. I also don't want to look like a demanding diva baby-lawyer. Because I'm really not. I probably don't utilize my secretary nearly as much as I should, and I try to give her as much notice and time as possible when I need something done. I'm also not sure if Partner has noticed these issues--or if he will think "what the heck is she talking about?" if I bring it up. (I know I need to talk to Partner, but since she sits right outside his office, its kind of hard.)
On the other hand, I think some of these things need to be addressed. But I think it might be better to handle it gradually than suddenly in an evaluation. So I don't know what to do. Blech.
My secretary is a very nice person. We get along great and she tells me when there is food in the kitchen or when Partner is cranky. But I have become increasingly frustrated with her. Since I have become busier and given more responsibility I have had to hand more stuff to her, which I don't think she is happy about.
A couple of weeks ago Partner told me to have Secretary help me with a task. She pretty much told me that she wasn't doing it and would get a file clerk. Then Partner told her to do it, and she told him the same thing! The problem is that the file clerks are backed up and take forever and we needed to be able to work with these docs ASAP. I had a similar request today and I had to absolutely insist that she, not the file clerks, put my pleadings file together so that I would have a file to work with. We have had similar issues with copies. She will not make copies.
And several time in recent weeks I have had to redo a fairly simple task that she was given. Things I might expect a newbie to need help with, but this is someone who has been a legal secretary for 20 years or more. (Shouldn't she know more than me?) Having to give her explicit instructions for every task takes so much time I might as well do it myself. (But I have been told repeatedly not to do things that the secretaries can do.)
Argh. Maybe it sounds peevish, but I really don't think I am being unreasonable. I can go days without needing anything from my secretary. She does no typing for me, and she is only assigned to my supervising partner and me.
So, I don't want to do the evaluation. Because on the one hand, I don't want to say anything negative that will impact her financially, or that will look like its coming out of the blue, because I haven't addressed these issues with her directly. I also don't want to look like a demanding diva baby-lawyer. Because I'm really not. I probably don't utilize my secretary nearly as much as I should, and I try to give her as much notice and time as possible when I need something done. I'm also not sure if Partner has noticed these issues--or if he will think "what the heck is she talking about?" if I bring it up. (I know I need to talk to Partner, but since she sits right outside his office, its kind of hard.)
On the other hand, I think some of these things need to be addressed. But I think it might be better to handle it gradually than suddenly in an evaluation. So I don't know what to do. Blech.
5/19/08
5/18/08
One Year Later
It’s been a year since I graduated from law school. I can’t say that the last year was an easy one. The joy of both graduating from law school and passing the bar were seriously mitigated by the stress of not having a job. Although I loved law school and knew that I was in the right career, there were moments when I wondered if I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Massive debt and dwindling job prospects are a scary combination.
I also worried that I would be stuck in a job that I hated or a field that bored me because I couldn't’t find anything else. Coming out of law school, my top preferences were to work in DA’s office or to do some kind of catastrophic tort work. I definitely wanted to litigate.
I interviewed with virtually every DA’s office in the area and nothing panned out. I sent out many, many resumes to firms and had little luck. I applied to firms that I really didn’t want to work for and in areas that I didn’t really want to practice in.
Finally, I got a foot in the door at my current firm. It was supposed to be a one week contract position, but turned into about three weeks. Then they brought me back for additional occasional projects. Then they called me in for semi-permanent contract work. The on-and-off nature of contract work was frustrating and stressful. I needed the reliability of permanent position, but it was months before my firm was willing to make such a commitment. I really had to prove myself to them--and I also had to make clear that I was not willing to submit to the beck-and-call of contract work forever.
I was glad to be working in a reputable firm practicing in one of my preferred fields. But there were times that I really didn’t enjoy it, and times that I actually hated it. I didn’t click with my boss and some of the projects I was given were painfully boring.
But eventually they made me an offer. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to, but I accepted—because I really didn’t have a choice.
I really enjoy my job now. My boss and I seem to have figured each other out. I am getting more varied and interesting projects (although still interspersed with the occasional painfully boring project). I am working in a field that I really enjoy with a better quality of cases than I could have hoped for as a first-year attorney.
So with all of the turmoil, ulcers and indigestion that the last year has given me, would I do it all again? Absolutely, but only because I love being a lawyer. Would I recommend the same to someone else? I don’t know.
For those of you asking “do I want to be a lawyer?” consider this:
Make sure it’s really what you want to do. I couldn’t have made it if I didn’t know that I was choosing the right career path.
Go to a well-regarded school. Rankings do matter when you are looking for a job. But they aren’t everything. The law school associated with my undergrad is a TTT, but it is very well regarded in that region, and really in my entire state. I’m sure the same is true for other regional law schools. My law school is a T1 not-national school that is extremely well-regarded in my metro area. And I still had trouble finding a job. I would not recommend anyone go to a lower ranked school that did not have strong regional support. It is a huge gamble that you will get an offer that will justify your debt. (On the other hand, if someone is bankrolling you, I guess you can do what you want.)
Make the grade. Grades matter—especially if you want Biglaw. I wasn’t really interested in Biglaw, but even the mid-sized firms in my area want top 1/3 class rankings. I graduate with honors, but just missed the 1/3 cut and I think it hurt.
Do something in law school. Of course there is law review. But another biggie is moot court or mock trial. I saw a lot of employers wanting to see this kind of thing. I'm not really sure that any of my other extra-curriculars reall mattered, though.
If you’re a mom, don’t advertise it. It became very clear to me that employers don’t want to hire moms. Not even other moms. Because I had a lag between undergrad and law school, I took the date off my resume. I don’t think anybody really noticed the missing dates, and it kept me from having to explain that I have 3 kids. I never lied, but I didn’t volunteer information, either. Even in my current position, I did not reveal that I had children until I felt that I had proved myself to be reliable and hard-working. Yeah it sucks and its not fair, but that's the way it is until we have more successful lawyer moms willing to prove our abilities.
Decisions
The decision to go to law school and commit to a career in law was a thoroughly thought out one. I already had 3 kids when I applied to law school (Although I had actually applied right out of undergrad, I soon found out that PS was on her way and decided that I could not handle starting law school and and infant who was due the same September I would have started. So I delayed a little while.) I recognized that a career in law was not family-friendly. Once I had my children, I looked into many other options--because I knew that I wanted a career and would never be happy as a SAHM forever. I considered teaching--the obvious family-friendly choice, library science, because I love children's literature, or pursuing my master's or Ph.D. in psych, since that's what my undergrad degree was in. But none of those felt right. I don't have the patience to teach. I wanted something more stimulating than being a librarian (not trying to dis all the librarians out there). And I had long ago decided that psych wasn't really just wasn't what I wanted to do long term.
So I was back to square one and considering how I could make a career in law work and still be a good mom to my kids. I finally concluded that if I wanted it badly enough I could find a way to make it happen. My husband is an involved dad willing to pick up the slack when I couldn't be there. But child care was still essential.
The decision to allow others to care for my children was very hard for me. My mother was a single working mom--an assistant manager of a retail store. That meant she worked until 10:00 pm at least 4-5 nights a week and my brother and I were left with a babysitter a lot. And my mom wasn't very discriminating in her choices of care givers.
There was the one who made another kid drink his own pee because he wet the bed; the crazy holy-roller who let her guinea pig have the run of the house, pooping all over the floor, told us explicit stories about the crucifixion, and took us to church where people spoke in tongues and did cartwheels in the aisles, totally freaking us out; the one who allowed her 5th grader to smoke in her bedroom; the one who burned her grass and stomped it out in her house slippers; the guy who turned out to be a child molester (but never touched us); and a host of others whose biggest transgression was just plopping us in front of the tv watching soaps all day (I still cannot stand the intro music to The Young and The Restless.)
So, obviously, I had a few issues with the choice to have others care for my children so that I could go to law school. But I am not my mother, and I would thoroughly investigate anyone who would be caring for my children. And there are very good caregivers out there. Even with all of the terrible babysitters I had, there was one good one. Interestingly, it was a teenager that my dad hired when we spent the summers with him. She did stuff with us--took us to the pool and the library, played games, we baked a lot.
The first year I was in school I put the twins in day care and PS in on-campus after-school care. I had a strong aversion to home care because of my past experiences. (Although there are certainly quality home care providers out there.) I visited several daycare centers and learned quickly that price matters. The only one that I even considered was the most expensive in town. But I felt that my girls were going somewhere where they would be active, stimulated and well-cared for.
The next year I decided to go a different route. My problem with the day care centers wasn't that my kids weren't well-cared for, but rather the sterility of it. There was no comfy couch to just veg out in at the end of a long day. And one of the things that I hated the most as a kid growing up in child care was that I was never in my own home with my own stuff. I decided that if my children were going to have other caregivers, at least they could be in their own home, with their toys and books and snacks.
So I hired a nanny--which was actually much more cost-effective than day care since I have 3 kids. Also, a nanny could still take care of one of my kiddos if she had a fever and couldn't go to daycare or school (although anytime one of my children is really ill I stay home with them.)
Having a nanny has worked out beautifully. My nanny is incredibly dependable and flexible. She is like a grandmother to my children and they genuinely love each other. The kids miss her when they don't get to see her for a while, and they look forward to seeing her every day. I simply can't envision how that kind of relationship is harmful or unfair to my children. Furthermore, my children live hundreds of miles from their grandparent, and this is virtually their only interaction with an "older" person on a regular basis.
So, yes, I chose to have a career and allow others to participate in the raising of my children, and I don't think it is hurting my children. I am happier because I have an identity beyond being the mother of my children. I love my job--it is the perfect field for me. Yes, I sometimes put in long hours, but we make it work. The time that I spend with my kids is quality time. We have dinner together at least 5 nights a week. And it's amazing what you can learn while putting their hair in braids. I've attended every school program, special event and soccer game (except where there was a conflict between the kids.) Generally, my entire weekend is devoted to the kids. At least once a month we visit a museum or zoo or some other activity just for them. Other weekends we veg out and have Mario Kart tournaments. A couple of times a month we have family movie night.
I definitely have less time now than I did when I stayed home with my kids, but the many cuts have been to my personal time. I don't watch much tv, and never before the kids are in bed. I have given up other hobbies. But now when I am with my kids, I am more engaged with them than when we were always together.
Maybe some consider my choice to have career selfish--especially since we were financially comfortable before I went to school. But I am happier having a career and I think that helps keep my family in balance. And I think my girls are proud of me--and will continue to be as they grow older and really understand what I do. And I think its awesome that my girls think business suits are for women--and that on the rare occasion DH dons a suit they say "he looks like Mommy." Because my girls will grown up knowing that a girl can do anything she wants--including being a mom and a lawyer.
So I was back to square one and considering how I could make a career in law work and still be a good mom to my kids. I finally concluded that if I wanted it badly enough I could find a way to make it happen. My husband is an involved dad willing to pick up the slack when I couldn't be there. But child care was still essential.
The decision to allow others to care for my children was very hard for me. My mother was a single working mom--an assistant manager of a retail store. That meant she worked until 10:00 pm at least 4-5 nights a week and my brother and I were left with a babysitter a lot. And my mom wasn't very discriminating in her choices of care givers.
There was the one who made another kid drink his own pee because he wet the bed; the crazy holy-roller who let her guinea pig have the run of the house, pooping all over the floor, told us explicit stories about the crucifixion, and took us to church where people spoke in tongues and did cartwheels in the aisles, totally freaking us out; the one who allowed her 5th grader to smoke in her bedroom; the one who burned her grass and stomped it out in her house slippers; the guy who turned out to be a child molester (but never touched us); and a host of others whose biggest transgression was just plopping us in front of the tv watching soaps all day (I still cannot stand the intro music to The Young and The Restless.)
So, obviously, I had a few issues with the choice to have others care for my children so that I could go to law school. But I am not my mother, and I would thoroughly investigate anyone who would be caring for my children. And there are very good caregivers out there. Even with all of the terrible babysitters I had, there was one good one. Interestingly, it was a teenager that my dad hired when we spent the summers with him. She did stuff with us--took us to the pool and the library, played games, we baked a lot.
The first year I was in school I put the twins in day care and PS in on-campus after-school care. I had a strong aversion to home care because of my past experiences. (Although there are certainly quality home care providers out there.) I visited several daycare centers and learned quickly that price matters. The only one that I even considered was the most expensive in town. But I felt that my girls were going somewhere where they would be active, stimulated and well-cared for.
The next year I decided to go a different route. My problem with the day care centers wasn't that my kids weren't well-cared for, but rather the sterility of it. There was no comfy couch to just veg out in at the end of a long day. And one of the things that I hated the most as a kid growing up in child care was that I was never in my own home with my own stuff. I decided that if my children were going to have other caregivers, at least they could be in their own home, with their toys and books and snacks.
So I hired a nanny--which was actually much more cost-effective than day care since I have 3 kids. Also, a nanny could still take care of one of my kiddos if she had a fever and couldn't go to daycare or school (although anytime one of my children is really ill I stay home with them.)
Having a nanny has worked out beautifully. My nanny is incredibly dependable and flexible. She is like a grandmother to my children and they genuinely love each other. The kids miss her when they don't get to see her for a while, and they look forward to seeing her every day. I simply can't envision how that kind of relationship is harmful or unfair to my children. Furthermore, my children live hundreds of miles from their grandparent, and this is virtually their only interaction with an "older" person on a regular basis.
So, yes, I chose to have a career and allow others to participate in the raising of my children, and I don't think it is hurting my children. I am happier because I have an identity beyond being the mother of my children. I love my job--it is the perfect field for me. Yes, I sometimes put in long hours, but we make it work. The time that I spend with my kids is quality time. We have dinner together at least 5 nights a week. And it's amazing what you can learn while putting their hair in braids. I've attended every school program, special event and soccer game (except where there was a conflict between the kids.) Generally, my entire weekend is devoted to the kids. At least once a month we visit a museum or zoo or some other activity just for them. Other weekends we veg out and have Mario Kart tournaments. A couple of times a month we have family movie night.
I definitely have less time now than I did when I stayed home with my kids, but the many cuts have been to my personal time. I don't watch much tv, and never before the kids are in bed. I have given up other hobbies. But now when I am with my kids, I am more engaged with them than when we were always together.
Maybe some consider my choice to have career selfish--especially since we were financially comfortable before I went to school. But I am happier having a career and I think that helps keep my family in balance. And I think my girls are proud of me--and will continue to be as they grow older and really understand what I do. And I think its awesome that my girls think business suits are for women--and that on the rare occasion DH dons a suit they say "he looks like Mommy." Because my girls will grown up knowing that a girl can do anything she wants--including being a mom and a lawyer.
5/14/08
Scary
When I interned for the DA's office I became very aware of the personal information that I released to the public--especially concerning my kids. Every year I have to explain to bewildered teachers why my kids' names and pictures cannot be published on their class websites--and I'm sure they think I am overreacting.
But about the time I started interning in the DA's office, a former student from my law school was being stalked by a felon who had found her phone number on an old cached webpage.
I have relaxed some since then. First, I don't deal with criminals anymore. The cases that I work on are generally not the kind of thing where you have to worry about a PO'd opponent coming after you.
But then there is this, published in a public forum...
But about the time I started interning in the DA's office, a former student from my law school was being stalked by a felon who had found her phone number on an old cached webpage.
I have relaxed some since then. First, I don't deal with criminals anymore. The cases that I work on are generally not the kind of thing where you have to worry about a PO'd opponent coming after you.
But then there is this, published in a public forum...
[removed due to google-ability (yes, I get the irony, since in this very post I talk about my awareness of giving out personal info online) but the gist is that some a-hole wants to blame the attorney for the acts of his clients, including ostracizing the attorney, his wife and his children from all social involvement in the community.]
Granted, this case is very emotional. But it is scary to think that people really feel this way about the attorneys who are involved with this case.
5/12/08
My favorite new site
is PostCards from Yo Momma. I wish I had the kind of mom who sent goofy emails or IM's.
BTW, I found that site through Favorable Dicta, who has made a comeback.
BTW, I found that site through Favorable Dicta, who has made a comeback.
5/11/08
"You're the most in charge 'cause you're the one who gave birth to us"
Said SS yesterday. We were in the used bookstore and found the motherload of clearance children's books. Each of my kiddos had a stack of 6-8 books when TT piped up and said, "we better stop, Daddy might not like us getting all these books." To which I responded, "why do we have to have Daddy's permission to buy books?" To which SS said, "Yeah, you're the most in charge 'cause you're the one who gave birth to us." Yep--that kid has it right!
We did our part to stimulate the economy yesterday. We got Grandpa's George's check Friday(not that I agree with the rationale behind the checks, but I wasn't going to turn it down) and most of it is going straight to outrageous summer childcare, but we did a little shopping.
I really do not enjoy shopping anymore and rarely enter a mall. But we headed to a reasonably close semi-upscale outlet mall because I am in desperate need of "casual Friday" clothes. I hate casual Friday. My version of casual is too casual for work. I don't really have a casual Friday appropriate wardrobe. I'm fine with pulling together an everyday work wardrobe but I just haven't mastered Fridays. So I went looking for some cute tops and dressier jeans.
I had absolutely no luck. I bought a pair of shorts and a wallet. I bought the kids summer clothes and DH got some new shirts to wear to work. And, of course, we all got books at the bookstore.
And for Mother's Day this morning, the twins read stories to me while DH and PS went for coffee and donuts. And DH signed us up for "Making Sense of Wine." Because we are both clueless about wine and I would like to look a little less idiotic when I have professional events to attend. (At an Inn of Court meeting last year a professor actually called me out for the kind of wine I was drinking with dinner!) So he did well, and I am proud of him for planning in advance and coming up with something that I could really use.
I don't know what we are doing with the rest of the day. Mostly nothing, which is fine with me after running around all day yesterday.
We did our part to stimulate the economy yesterday. We got Grandpa's George's check Friday(not that I agree with the rationale behind the checks, but I wasn't going to turn it down) and most of it is going straight to outrageous summer childcare, but we did a little shopping.
I really do not enjoy shopping anymore and rarely enter a mall. But we headed to a reasonably close semi-upscale outlet mall because I am in desperate need of "casual Friday" clothes. I hate casual Friday. My version of casual is too casual for work. I don't really have a casual Friday appropriate wardrobe. I'm fine with pulling together an everyday work wardrobe but I just haven't mastered Fridays. So I went looking for some cute tops and dressier jeans.
I had absolutely no luck. I bought a pair of shorts and a wallet. I bought the kids summer clothes and DH got some new shirts to wear to work. And, of course, we all got books at the bookstore.
And for Mother's Day this morning, the twins read stories to me while DH and PS went for coffee and donuts. And DH signed us up for "Making Sense of Wine." Because we are both clueless about wine and I would like to look a little less idiotic when I have professional events to attend. (At an Inn of Court meeting last year a professor actually called me out for the kind of wine I was drinking with dinner!) So he did well, and I am proud of him for planning in advance and coming up with something that I could really use.
I don't know what we are doing with the rest of the day. Mostly nothing, which is fine with me after running around all day yesterday.
5/8/08
Just Ewwww
Both yesterday and today while I was doing research on two completely different cases, with completely different issues, and in completely different jurisdictions I came across cases involving decomposing mice in coke bottles--that someone actually drank from. I may never be able to drink from a bottle again. FWIW, though, both cases were really old--like when they used the glass bottles that required a deposit. (Is it showing my age that I remember those?)
5/5/08
Baby Cravings
I have been having huge baby cravings for the past few months. I miss having babies--I loved it when my girls were little and sweet and loved to snuggle with mommy. They are all getting so big now. My twins are still loving and snugly sometimes, but they are also growing into wonderful and hilarious little people. PS has hit the point where she wants little to do with me, and it is nearly impossible to even get a real hug out of her.
I think part of the problem is that I feel cheated out of the twins' infancy. With two babies I was so busy that I really didn't have the time to stop and enjoy them. But now every time I see Cora or Peach pop up on my reader it just reminds me of how much I love having babies.
Of course, nothing is going to come of it. DH had the big V after the twins were born. And I was told not to have any more kids because I really don't handle pregnancy well. And I can't afford to send any more children to college (I'm not even sure I can afford to send the three I've got to college.) And this really isn't the ideal point in my career to be popping out another kid. And it is hard enough going places with three kinds in a world that is build for families of four. And my kids are all finally big enough we can do fun stuff again. And four kids is just too damn many. (No offense to those with 4. I think three kids is too damn many, too. And some days one is too damn many!)
Maybe I need to borrow a baby for a week or two. I really wanted a kitten a while back, but once we fostered kittens for a few weeks and I was reminded how unpleasant litter boxes are, my sanity was restored. I think a week or two of being awakened every two hours by a newborn would have the same effect.
I think part of the problem is that I feel cheated out of the twins' infancy. With two babies I was so busy that I really didn't have the time to stop and enjoy them. But now every time I see Cora or Peach pop up on my reader it just reminds me of how much I love having babies.
Of course, nothing is going to come of it. DH had the big V after the twins were born. And I was told not to have any more kids because I really don't handle pregnancy well. And I can't afford to send any more children to college (I'm not even sure I can afford to send the three I've got to college.) And this really isn't the ideal point in my career to be popping out another kid. And it is hard enough going places with three kinds in a world that is build for families of four. And my kids are all finally big enough we can do fun stuff again. And four kids is just too damn many. (No offense to those with 4. I think three kids is too damn many, too. And some days one is too damn many!)
Maybe I need to borrow a baby for a week or two. I really wanted a kitten a while back, but once we fostered kittens for a few weeks and I was reminded how unpleasant litter boxes are, my sanity was restored. I think a week or two of being awakened every two hours by a newborn would have the same effect.
5/1/08
A day in the life of a first year attorney
Today was crazy. It started out having to break it to my boss that it was going to take another $600 to close a deal we thought we were done with. I thought my head might roll, because I was pretty much responsible for everything--although this issue was truly beyond my control. But he took it well.
Then I got to get contentious with another lawyer about a motion to compel. I haven't had much contact with other lawyers--so that was kind of fun. And then my boss told me that I would probably get to argue the motion because they needed to get me into court. Yea! I've been kinda bummed that I haven't had more court time. Going to court is the most fun part of being a lawyer--I honestly can't understand why anyone would go to law school to do anything but litigate. But this lawyer is already pissed at me, so it will definitely be heated if I do get to argue.
Lots of little projects on my plate right now that keep getting pushed aside by the bigger ones. Found out I probably will not be going to DC--and if I do, not for the whole 3 weeks.
And Big Boss mentioned that my hours seemed a little low for the amount of time that I spend in the office. It was not accusatory or even implying that I wasn't putting enough time in--more like he thinks I am not recording all my time or cutting my own hours. But I'm not and I am pretty diligent about keeping up with my time. So maybe I'm not putting enough hours in. I do find that more time gets lost when I have to keep shifting among small projects than when I have one or two big projects. But he also said my hours seemed short last month--and I billed 200 hours last month. I'm not sure I can give much more than that. Sigh.
Then I got to get contentious with another lawyer about a motion to compel. I haven't had much contact with other lawyers--so that was kind of fun. And then my boss told me that I would probably get to argue the motion because they needed to get me into court. Yea! I've been kinda bummed that I haven't had more court time. Going to court is the most fun part of being a lawyer--I honestly can't understand why anyone would go to law school to do anything but litigate. But this lawyer is already pissed at me, so it will definitely be heated if I do get to argue.
Lots of little projects on my plate right now that keep getting pushed aside by the bigger ones. Found out I probably will not be going to DC--and if I do, not for the whole 3 weeks.
And Big Boss mentioned that my hours seemed a little low for the amount of time that I spend in the office. It was not accusatory or even implying that I wasn't putting enough time in--more like he thinks I am not recording all my time or cutting my own hours. But I'm not and I am pretty diligent about keeping up with my time. So maybe I'm not putting enough hours in. I do find that more time gets lost when I have to keep shifting among small projects than when I have one or two big projects. But he also said my hours seemed short last month--and I billed 200 hours last month. I'm not sure I can give much more than that. Sigh.
4/30/08
Peanut Butter & Saltines
I happened upon someone eating this for lunch today and I am 89% certain that its because she couldn't afford anything else. Which stirred up some strange feelings for me--because this person reminds me of how I grew up.
I remember taking crackers and peanut butter for lunch to school because there was nothing else in the house to eat and my mom didn't have lunch money for me. (And payday must have been a while out, because I knew all about floating checks by the time I was 8.) I also remember putting powdered milk (blech!) on our cereal because we couldn't dig enough change out of the couch to get a gallon of milk. And I remember pancakes for dinner--not because it was fun to have "breakfast night" but because that was our only choice. And we had powdered sugar on top because we didn't have any syrup. My brother and I both knew how to turn the water back on at the meter in the alley by the time we were about 10. And we were certainly never the kids to have the first or best of anything. As a kid, I would have thought that the house I live in now was a mansion. Only rich people got brick houses. And really rich people got two-story brick houses.
So this person and her peanut butter crackers brough all of this to the forefront of my mind. And I feel a little guilty for everything I have now. (But not too guilty, because everything I have I earned myself.) My kids have never lived like I did. Even in times that we were struggling, we have always had a pantry full of food. My children have everything their hearts' desire. The get to be among the first to have the coolest new things. They get cute, trendy clothes (although PS could not care less what she wears--and my frugal roots still prevent me from coughing up the cash to pay for a label). And while I am glad that my kids have it much, much better than I did, I do wish that had a little more understanding/appreciation for what they have.
So this person is a single mom, like mine was. I want to do something to help her, because even though I'm sure she thinks that I am another rich kid turner lawyer, I do know what her life is like. But I'm not sure how to go about it without offending her or creating an awkward situation. I think I may just try to keep my eyes open and see if an opportunity presents itself.
P.S. Yes, I know I sounded like a whiny bitch in yesterday's post. But I'm leaving it, even if I didn't present myself in the best light. Because it's great to go back and read my cyclical mood swings ;)
I remember taking crackers and peanut butter for lunch to school because there was nothing else in the house to eat and my mom didn't have lunch money for me. (And payday must have been a while out, because I knew all about floating checks by the time I was 8.) I also remember putting powdered milk (blech!) on our cereal because we couldn't dig enough change out of the couch to get a gallon of milk. And I remember pancakes for dinner--not because it was fun to have "breakfast night" but because that was our only choice. And we had powdered sugar on top because we didn't have any syrup. My brother and I both knew how to turn the water back on at the meter in the alley by the time we were about 10. And we were certainly never the kids to have the first or best of anything. As a kid, I would have thought that the house I live in now was a mansion. Only rich people got brick houses. And really rich people got two-story brick houses.
So this person and her peanut butter crackers brough all of this to the forefront of my mind. And I feel a little guilty for everything I have now. (But not too guilty, because everything I have I earned myself.) My kids have never lived like I did. Even in times that we were struggling, we have always had a pantry full of food. My children have everything their hearts' desire. The get to be among the first to have the coolest new things. They get cute, trendy clothes (although PS could not care less what she wears--and my frugal roots still prevent me from coughing up the cash to pay for a label). And while I am glad that my kids have it much, much better than I did, I do wish that had a little more understanding/appreciation for what they have.
So this person is a single mom, like mine was. I want to do something to help her, because even though I'm sure she thinks that I am another rich kid turner lawyer, I do know what her life is like. But I'm not sure how to go about it without offending her or creating an awkward situation. I think I may just try to keep my eyes open and see if an opportunity presents itself.
P.S. Yes, I know I sounded like a whiny bitch in yesterday's post. But I'm leaving it, even if I didn't present myself in the best light. Because it's great to go back and read my cyclical mood swings ;)
4/28/08
Old and Cranky
So the Supreme Court decided today that it's ok to ID people trying to vote in the presidential election, and apparently my PTA decided to go along. Yep, I was carded tonight trying to get into my 1st Graders annual Spring Melody Presentation. Because it was a thinly veiled guise to get enough parents in the building to hold the PTA elections.
And they asked for ID, since they would be voting. Seriously--have PTA elections become so hotly contested that they fear there might be impostors among us? Do I really look like someone who would crash a 1st grade sing-along just so I could throw the PTA presidential election?
I told them, no, I would not produce an ID because I would not be voting. Then I proceeded to play my daughter's DS throughout the PTA election process. (Yes, very mature of me.) I have become quite cranky and apathetic in the last few years. Before going to school and getting a job, I likely would have been vying for that presidential position--now I just don't care.
Maybe I should but the PTA thing just isn't where I choose to be involved. And it irritates me that every time my kids have some kind of program, I am forced to sit through a 20 minute business meeting. (Yes, I'm familiar with Robert's Rules, but still...)
And they asked for ID, since they would be voting. Seriously--have PTA elections become so hotly contested that they fear there might be impostors among us? Do I really look like someone who would crash a 1st grade sing-along just so I could throw the PTA presidential election?
I told them, no, I would not produce an ID because I would not be voting. Then I proceeded to play my daughter's DS throughout the PTA election process. (Yes, very mature of me.) I have become quite cranky and apathetic in the last few years. Before going to school and getting a job, I likely would have been vying for that presidential position--now I just don't care.
Maybe I should but the PTA thing just isn't where I choose to be involved. And it irritates me that every time my kids have some kind of program, I am forced to sit through a 20 minute business meeting. (Yes, I'm familiar with Robert's Rules, but still...)
4/26/08
Life
Got my whopping $51 back from Uncle Sam yesterday . . . and already spent it on dinner last night. But we have been doing pretty well with our cutbacks on food spending. We have limited our eating out to the weekends and I have been taking lunch to work about 4 days a week. I have been bulk cooking on the weekend to make dinner prep easier during the week. And we went to the farmer's market last weekend. I swear the food is 1000 times better (and quite a bit cheaper) when it comes from the farmer's market instead of the grocery store.
Work is picking up again and I will be going in after the twins soccer game this afternoon. Blogging has dropped off because all I have to talk about is work--and, of course, I can't blog about that. But I am working on some interesting cases.
So that's life right now. Pretty boring--work and home.
Work is picking up again and I will be going in after the twins soccer game this afternoon. Blogging has dropped off because all I have to talk about is work--and, of course, I can't blog about that. But I am working on some interesting cases.
So that's life right now. Pretty boring--work and home.
4/22/08
FYI-Tomorrow is Secretaries Day
I did not realize this until mid-afternoon today, so I had not done anything for my secretary. (And have I mentioned that having a secretary is really cool?) I've never had a secretary before so I am pretty clueless about what to get and how much to spend.
One of the other attorneys dropped my office at about 5:00 to make sure that I knew. She recommended flowers or a gift certificate. Personally, I am not a huge fan of the gift certificate. I mean, you might as well just hand over cash. And in certain situations it just feels strange to give cash (or its cousin the gift certificate). Besides, then the recipient knows exactly how much you think she is worth.
So I started looking at flowers. But apparently I should have started looking last week. Because the only floral arrangements available for next day delivery were icky. I really wanted a pretty flowering plant. I found a beautiful azalea topiary, but it wasn't available until the end of the week.
So I started thinking outside the box. I ended up ordering a fruit bouquet from Edible Arrangements. I have seen them in person before and they are really pretty. And my secretary is the healthy-living sort, so fruit seemed better than other kinds of goodies--although I did make sure to order a bouquet with plenty of chocolate-dipped fruit.
So what do y'all think? Is the fruit bouquet ok, or should I have just gotten over my issues and bought a GC to the mall?
One of the other attorneys dropped my office at about 5:00 to make sure that I knew. She recommended flowers or a gift certificate. Personally, I am not a huge fan of the gift certificate. I mean, you might as well just hand over cash. And in certain situations it just feels strange to give cash (or its cousin the gift certificate). Besides, then the recipient knows exactly how much you think she is worth.
So I started looking at flowers. But apparently I should have started looking last week. Because the only floral arrangements available for next day delivery were icky. I really wanted a pretty flowering plant. I found a beautiful azalea topiary, but it wasn't available until the end of the week.
So I started thinking outside the box. I ended up ordering a fruit bouquet from Edible Arrangements. I have seen them in person before and they are really pretty. And my secretary is the healthy-living sort, so fruit seemed better than other kinds of goodies--although I did make sure to order a bouquet with plenty of chocolate-dipped fruit.
So what do y'all think? Is the fruit bouquet ok, or should I have just gotten over my issues and bought a GC to the mall?
4/18/08
Will Travel for Food
So Big Boss came in my office today to find out if I was amenable to attending a hearing in Washington D.C. next month--a three week hearing. The office is spread pretty thin lately, with weekly hearings on the other side of the country and a few other cases that are about to explode. So no one is really free to take off for 3 weeks--except me.
Actually, Big Boss did say at least 3 times, "this doesn't mean you're going, but I wanted to ask and give you plenty of notice." I figure there is a 50/50 chance it will be me. I think it is high profile enough that they want someone more important to go, but there may not be a choice.
So what was I going to say--ummm, no? It is a long time to be away from my kids, but at this point in my career I need to be able to show that I can step up. And other than being away from the kids, I really don't mind. I've never been to D.C. and would love the chance to explore the city. He also said that I could come home on the weekends if I wanted. (I think it would be great to fly the family out to see me.)
So does it make me the bad mom of the year to leave the kids for three weeks? DH isn't thrilled about it, but knows that it is important. PS was just jealous because she wants to go.
Actually, Big Boss did say at least 3 times, "this doesn't mean you're going, but I wanted to ask and give you plenty of notice." I figure there is a 50/50 chance it will be me. I think it is high profile enough that they want someone more important to go, but there may not be a choice.
So what was I going to say--ummm, no? It is a long time to be away from my kids, but at this point in my career I need to be able to show that I can step up. And other than being away from the kids, I really don't mind. I've never been to D.C. and would love the chance to explore the city. He also said that I could come home on the weekends if I wanted. (I think it would be great to fly the family out to see me.)
So does it make me the bad mom of the year to leave the kids for three weeks? DH isn't thrilled about it, but knows that it is important. PS was just jealous because she wants to go.
4/17/08
Worker's Comp for Lawyers
When I was hired I smart-assedly laughed at the worker's comp coverage, thinking "what am I gonna do--get a papercut?"
But now I've figured it out--the law is going to drive me blind. I started getting dry-itchy eyes when I was studying for the LSAT. I specifically remember a visit to the optometrist right after the test and complaining about it. It got worse through law school, and the eye doc gave me a variety of OTC drops to try. But it was never bad enough to keep me out of my contacts when I left the house. I'm vain in that regard--I've always hated the way I look in glasses.
But since I started working last fall I have become increasingly unable to tolerate my contacts. I finally bought a pair of glasses that I deemed cute enough to wear in public and started taking them to work so that I could take out my contacts when I worked late nights.
These days I don't even bother with my contacts. But even with just glasses, within just a couple of hours at work my eyes just hurt and are so tired I can barely keep them open. I asked the doc about it and she suggested that it could be allergies. But I have never had allergies--and I don't have any other symptoms.
I think the fact that I read 10+ hours a day is the problem. My eyes are better on the weekends and in the evenings if I stay off the computer. (One reason my blogging has declined). And one of the attorney's that I work confirmed this--she has had the same issues. And I have noticed quite a few of the attorneys that I work with have glasses on by the end of the day--even if they didn't start out that way.
But now I've figured it out--the law is going to drive me blind. I started getting dry-itchy eyes when I was studying for the LSAT. I specifically remember a visit to the optometrist right after the test and complaining about it. It got worse through law school, and the eye doc gave me a variety of OTC drops to try. But it was never bad enough to keep me out of my contacts when I left the house. I'm vain in that regard--I've always hated the way I look in glasses.
But since I started working last fall I have become increasingly unable to tolerate my contacts. I finally bought a pair of glasses that I deemed cute enough to wear in public and started taking them to work so that I could take out my contacts when I worked late nights.
These days I don't even bother with my contacts. But even with just glasses, within just a couple of hours at work my eyes just hurt and are so tired I can barely keep them open. I asked the doc about it and she suggested that it could be allergies. But I have never had allergies--and I don't have any other symptoms.
I think the fact that I read 10+ hours a day is the problem. My eyes are better on the weekends and in the evenings if I stay off the computer. (One reason my blogging has declined). And one of the attorney's that I work confirmed this--she has had the same issues. And I have noticed quite a few of the attorneys that I work with have glasses on by the end of the day--even if they didn't start out that way.
4/15/08
...or so I thought
I filed my taxes last night and thought I was done. Until I got to work this morning and found the email from the IRS stating that my return had been rejected. Shit. Of course I had done my taxes on my home computer and had no access to have a look-see to figure out where I screwed up.
But it looks like I had 2 typos, in DH's SSN and one of his employer's ID numbers. Corrected those and sent it off again. Hopefully I don't awaken to another unpleasant email. But I think that since the original return (and today's) was filed on time the feds won't be beating down my door.
Meanwhile I need to do some work. I really should have stayed late tonight, but I had to bail to fix my taxes. I have definitely not had a problem meeting my billables since they hired me.
But it looks like I had 2 typos, in DH's SSN and one of his employer's ID numbers. Corrected those and sent it off again. Hopefully I don't awaken to another unpleasant email. But I think that since the original return (and today's) was filed on time the feds won't be beating down my door.
Meanwhile I need to do some work. I really should have stayed late tonight, but I had to bail to fix my taxes. I have definitely not had a problem meeting my billables since they hired me.
4/14/08
$51 and I'm out.
Yes, I just filed my tax return. I have never waited this long before. We are getting a whopping $51 back, and I am just happy that we are not paying anything. Especially considering all of the previously untaxed earnings from my contract work.
4/10/08
Fighting-ugh!
DH and I just had a huge blow-out and there appears to be no resolution in sight.
He is a web developer. That is his day job, but he occasionally takes on contract projects on the side. He recent did a project that took a fairly short amount of time and paid a pretty significant amount of money.
DH, completely out of character, has declared the money all his (something I have certainly never been able to get away with, no matter what the source of income.) He is spending the entire balance on a new computer.
I have no problem with him buying a new computer. It is his thing. He needs a new one--it has been a while since he has upgraded.
But tonight I made the mistake of questioning whether he really needed to spend the whole of these funds on the computer. I repeated that he definitely should be getting a new machine, but questioned whether he needed every bell and whistle.
He went crazy. He became defensive and accusatory. He told me I was jealous because I wasn't getting anything. He said I just didn't want him to have anything nice or to have any fun. It was really like a teenager throwing a temper tantrum.
I repeated that I never said he shouldn't get a nice, new machine, I was just questioning whether he needed to the very best. It is a lot of money for us. Even if he spent 2/3, there would be a significant chunk that could be put toward something that we, as a household, really need. And even though we are much better off financially than we were even a year ago, there have been lots of things building over the last few years that are need to be replaced.
He doesn't see it that way. He sees it as found money. His found money to do with whatever he likes.
Maybe I am bothered because I wouldn't look at a hunk of money like that. Maybe its the fundamental difference between men and women, but I would consider what my household needed. And even if I wanted something for myself, I would probably cut back to serve the greater (household) good. Then again, I never buy anything that's not on sale and I don't think I've ever bought the top-of-the line anything in my life.
So we are at a standoff. He is angry. I am just irritated that he is so angry. And the funny thing is, all he ever had to do was say that yes, he did need to spend [big chunk of money] to get the computer that he needs. But he never made that argument. He knows it is excessive--and I am "trying to rein him in and keep him from having something better than me."
Am I being unreasonable? (BTW, if I didn't make it clear, this is totally out of character for DH. I have never seen him act this way. He is usually a very nice and reasonable person. But tonight he's kind of acting like a jackass. Or am I just a bitch?)
He is a web developer. That is his day job, but he occasionally takes on contract projects on the side. He recent did a project that took a fairly short amount of time and paid a pretty significant amount of money.
DH, completely out of character, has declared the money all his (something I have certainly never been able to get away with, no matter what the source of income.) He is spending the entire balance on a new computer.
I have no problem with him buying a new computer. It is his thing. He needs a new one--it has been a while since he has upgraded.
But tonight I made the mistake of questioning whether he really needed to spend the whole of these funds on the computer. I repeated that he definitely should be getting a new machine, but questioned whether he needed every bell and whistle.
He went crazy. He became defensive and accusatory. He told me I was jealous because I wasn't getting anything. He said I just didn't want him to have anything nice or to have any fun. It was really like a teenager throwing a temper tantrum.
I repeated that I never said he shouldn't get a nice, new machine, I was just questioning whether he needed to the very best. It is a lot of money for us. Even if he spent 2/3, there would be a significant chunk that could be put toward something that we, as a household, really need. And even though we are much better off financially than we were even a year ago, there have been lots of things building over the last few years that are need to be replaced.
He doesn't see it that way. He sees it as found money. His found money to do with whatever he likes.
Maybe I am bothered because I wouldn't look at a hunk of money like that. Maybe its the fundamental difference between men and women, but I would consider what my household needed. And even if I wanted something for myself, I would probably cut back to serve the greater (household) good. Then again, I never buy anything that's not on sale and I don't think I've ever bought the top-of-the line anything in my life.
So we are at a standoff. He is angry. I am just irritated that he is so angry. And the funny thing is, all he ever had to do was say that yes, he did need to spend [big chunk of money] to get the computer that he needs. But he never made that argument. He knows it is excessive--and I am "trying to rein him in and keep him from having something better than me."
Am I being unreasonable? (BTW, if I didn't make it clear, this is totally out of character for DH. I have never seen him act this way. He is usually a very nice and reasonable person. But tonight he's kind of acting like a jackass. Or am I just a bitch?)
4/5/08
Budgeting
DH and I finally sat down and prepared a budget. This is something that we couldn't really do before because my income fluctuated so much. But now it is set and we have a real idea of what our monthly income is.
Although our income has essentially doubled since I started working, our expenses are significantly higher, too. My student loan payments are sickeningly close to my mortgage. Our child care expenses have increased--and will be downright painful over the summer. I am pumping $400 worth of gas into my vehicle every month. Not to mention all the other things that we pay for only because I am working--like dry cleaning, house cleaning, lawn care, and I am spending more on clothes.
So we finally crunched the numbers to see what our financial picture really looks like. Our debt is high--thanks to law school. Mostly student loans, but we have some credit card debt, too. And with out current expenditures we don't have as much leftover income as I would like to start really knocking out the debt. So, of course, that is where the budgeting really come in to play.
I estimated that we spend about $1500 per month on food! That seems excessively high, even for a family of five. About half of that is because we eat out--a lot. Which is good for neither our rear-ends or our wallets. So my first goal is to cut the food budget in half and put the savings directly toward paying down debt.
That means I need to start cooking again--easier said than done considering that I usually get home between 6:30 and 7 and my kiddos are supposed to be in bed by 8:30. So tomorrow I will go to the grocery store and spend a good part of the day cooking meals that can be frozen and reheated.
I also need to start taking my lunch to work--at least part of the time. Right now I eat out every day. I usually just get a half sandwich or a cup of soup--so I usually spend less than $5. But I am still not eating particularly healthfully and I have definitely been gaining weight with all of the hours that I have bee working lately. So brown-bagging it will save me about $15 a week and hopefully help control my expanding waistline.
If anyone has any lunch-packing suggestions, please chime in. I love the bento trend, but don't think I am organized enough in the morning to pull it off.
Although our income has essentially doubled since I started working, our expenses are significantly higher, too. My student loan payments are sickeningly close to my mortgage. Our child care expenses have increased--and will be downright painful over the summer. I am pumping $400 worth of gas into my vehicle every month. Not to mention all the other things that we pay for only because I am working--like dry cleaning, house cleaning, lawn care, and I am spending more on clothes.
So we finally crunched the numbers to see what our financial picture really looks like. Our debt is high--thanks to law school. Mostly student loans, but we have some credit card debt, too. And with out current expenditures we don't have as much leftover income as I would like to start really knocking out the debt. So, of course, that is where the budgeting really come in to play.
I estimated that we spend about $1500 per month on food! That seems excessively high, even for a family of five. About half of that is because we eat out--a lot. Which is good for neither our rear-ends or our wallets. So my first goal is to cut the food budget in half and put the savings directly toward paying down debt.
That means I need to start cooking again--easier said than done considering that I usually get home between 6:30 and 7 and my kiddos are supposed to be in bed by 8:30. So tomorrow I will go to the grocery store and spend a good part of the day cooking meals that can be frozen and reheated.
I also need to start taking my lunch to work--at least part of the time. Right now I eat out every day. I usually just get a half sandwich or a cup of soup--so I usually spend less than $5. But I am still not eating particularly healthfully and I have definitely been gaining weight with all of the hours that I have bee working lately. So brown-bagging it will save me about $15 a week and hopefully help control my expanding waistline.
If anyone has any lunch-packing suggestions, please chime in. I love the bento trend, but don't think I am organized enough in the morning to pull it off.
3/30/08
How I'm spending my Sunday
I'm writing a paper to be presented by my boss at a big important conference that will be attended by lots of big important people. The working title is "The Most Boring Paper on the Planet." It is due Tuesday. I have known about it for about 3 weeks. He has certainly known about it much longer than that. But with all of the craziness at work over the last few weeks I have had little time to dedicate to it. He wants it to be 20-25 pages (single spaced). I am at 9 pages.
Despite the boringness of the subject matter, there have been two very recent and important state supreme court cases released that are relevant to my paper. That means that there are virtually no published articles analyzing these cases, and I am having to rely on my own analysis. Thank goodness for the blogosphere which has discussed these cases a little bit--at least enough to confirm that I am on the right track. Because I just discovered that the supreme court justice who authored one of the cases that I am spending a significant portion of this paper analyzing will be presenting on recent state supreme cases within an hour after my boss (there is one speaker in between.) So I really want to make sure I get it right.
I should have worked on this yesterday, but instead took the day off. I took the twins to their soccer game, while DH took PS to her acting class. Then I got my hair cut and colored. I never have my hair professionally colored. But the greys are popping up with greater frequency and I just haven't had the time to do it myself. And one of the attorney's I work with told me I was looking haggard--so I added highlights for a little extra zip. My hair looks light and springy and I like it. While I was getting my hair done, DH ran errands with the kids. Since they were still out when my hair was done I went shopping all by myself--something that I don't get the opportunity to do very much. I bought two pair of shoes, a suit and several cute spring tops.
Later I took PS grocery shopping with me since I had not seen much of her and spent the rest of the day hanging with the kiddos since I knew that I would be ignoring them all day today while I try to knock out this paper.
This afternoon one kid has a birthday part at the bowling place. DH is going to take the other two bowling at the same time to get them out of my hair. Hopefully being out of the house for a while will help them forget that I am ignoring them.
Despite the boringness of the subject matter, there have been two very recent and important state supreme court cases released that are relevant to my paper. That means that there are virtually no published articles analyzing these cases, and I am having to rely on my own analysis. Thank goodness for the blogosphere which has discussed these cases a little bit--at least enough to confirm that I am on the right track. Because I just discovered that the supreme court justice who authored one of the cases that I am spending a significant portion of this paper analyzing will be presenting on recent state supreme cases within an hour after my boss (there is one speaker in between.) So I really want to make sure I get it right.
I should have worked on this yesterday, but instead took the day off. I took the twins to their soccer game, while DH took PS to her acting class. Then I got my hair cut and colored. I never have my hair professionally colored. But the greys are popping up with greater frequency and I just haven't had the time to do it myself. And one of the attorney's I work with told me I was looking haggard--so I added highlights for a little extra zip. My hair looks light and springy and I like it. While I was getting my hair done, DH ran errands with the kids. Since they were still out when my hair was done I went shopping all by myself--something that I don't get the opportunity to do very much. I bought two pair of shoes, a suit and several cute spring tops.
Later I took PS grocery shopping with me since I had not seen much of her and spent the rest of the day hanging with the kiddos since I knew that I would be ignoring them all day today while I try to knock out this paper.
This afternoon one kid has a birthday part at the bowling place. DH is going to take the other two bowling at the same time to get them out of my hair. Hopefully being out of the house for a while will help them forget that I am ignoring them.
3/27/08
This is how brilliant I am
I was supposed to have my picture made for the firm website today. And I had a client meeting (woohoo, yes I am actually getting to meet with clients now). So I put in an effort to wear my favorite suit and pearls.
Halfway to work I realized that I had only put on half my makeup. (I carry lipstick and face powder with me but not eye makeup.) I had taken care to cover the giant zit that popped up on my chin, but I had absolutely no eye makeup on. Apparently in the middle of putting on my makeup I had to go deal with a kid problem and just forgot to finish the job.
Sigh. At least I was able to cancel the picture-taking.
Meanwhile, I filled out my 401K paperwork last night. It feels good to finally be contributing to my retirement. I know I am behind--being 33 and having no significant savings (thank you, law school).
Halfway to work I realized that I had only put on half my makeup. (I carry lipstick and face powder with me but not eye makeup.) I had taken care to cover the giant zit that popped up on my chin, but I had absolutely no eye makeup on. Apparently in the middle of putting on my makeup I had to go deal with a kid problem and just forgot to finish the job.
Sigh. At least I was able to cancel the picture-taking.
Meanwhile, I filled out my 401K paperwork last night. It feels good to finally be contributing to my retirement. I know I am behind--being 33 and having no significant savings (thank you, law school).
3/23/08
Recharging
Saturday was the first day that I have had off in 3 weeks and it was much needed. I have been billing 60 hours + lately, and all of the travel last week left me exhausted.
Tuesday I left the house at 6 and drove 4 hours to close a deal. Met with the appropriate people, drove another hour to the bank and then 5 hours back home in terrible pounding thunderstorms.
Wednesday I went in to the office at 8:30, stayed til almost 7, then headed to the airport for my 9:00 pm flight. I made it to my hotel by midnight, and was out the door by 8:00 the next morning to make my 9:00 am hearing. Was done with the hearing by 10:00 am, headed back to the airport to get on the stand-by list for the 11:00 flight, and was the last person on the plane. I was back in the office by 2:00 pm. I planned to stay only an hour or two, but some issues came up and I didn't leave until 6.
Went in a 9:00 Friday. I did not have a lot to do and was looking forward to a relaxing day. Then more issues started popping up that made my relaxing day rather hectic. (I was the only attorney in my practice group in the office on Thursday and Friday. My supervising attorney's have been out of town dealing with Really Big Case.) But I got everything settled and managed to leave at 3:00 when the office closed.
Finally got some much needed girlie-time Friday night. We rented Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium and had family movie night. (It was ok, not great but the kids liked it. I wasn't expecting much, because the reviews were terrible.) TT curled up in my lap for the whole movie.
Saturday we went on a hike and then DH dragged us to church for our obligatory biannual appearance.
Today we hung out around the house, did laundry, a little cleaning and built a model of the digestive system for PS's school project.
It was a nice, not overly- hectic weekend. Hopefully it is enough let me jump back in full-speed tomorrow. And to remind the kids of what their mom looks like--since they haven't seen much of me lately.
Tuesday I left the house at 6 and drove 4 hours to close a deal. Met with the appropriate people, drove another hour to the bank and then 5 hours back home in terrible pounding thunderstorms.
Wednesday I went in to the office at 8:30, stayed til almost 7, then headed to the airport for my 9:00 pm flight. I made it to my hotel by midnight, and was out the door by 8:00 the next morning to make my 9:00 am hearing. Was done with the hearing by 10:00 am, headed back to the airport to get on the stand-by list for the 11:00 flight, and was the last person on the plane. I was back in the office by 2:00 pm. I planned to stay only an hour or two, but some issues came up and I didn't leave until 6.
Went in a 9:00 Friday. I did not have a lot to do and was looking forward to a relaxing day. Then more issues started popping up that made my relaxing day rather hectic. (I was the only attorney in my practice group in the office on Thursday and Friday. My supervising attorney's have been out of town dealing with Really Big Case.) But I got everything settled and managed to leave at 3:00 when the office closed.
Finally got some much needed girlie-time Friday night. We rented Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium and had family movie night. (It was ok, not great but the kids liked it. I wasn't expecting much, because the reviews were terrible.) TT curled up in my lap for the whole movie.
Saturday we went on a hike and then DH dragged us to church for our obligatory biannual appearance.
Today we hung out around the house, did laundry, a little cleaning and built a model of the digestive system for PS's school project.
It was a nice, not overly- hectic weekend. Hopefully it is enough let me jump back in full-speed tomorrow. And to remind the kids of what their mom looks like--since they haven't seen much of me lately.
3/18/08
Who knew snow globes were a security threat?
I haven't flown in a while, so, since I have a business trip tomorrow and would prefer not to check my luggage, I went to the TSA site to make sure I would my makeup in my carry-on bag. The list of prohibited items is pretty entertaining. Please leave your blow torches and hand grenades at home. However, feel free to bring your screwdrivers, wrenches and pliers, provided they aren't more than 7 inches long. But this prohibited item just struck me as hilarious...
Snow globes and like decorations regardless of size or amount of liquid inside,
even with documentation.
BTW, does anyone really think it is reasonable to expect a woman to put all of the things needed to make her beautiful into a single one-quart bag? I am not a high-maintenance girl, but I am going to have a hard time fitting the necessities in there.
3/17/08
Holy cow
The whole office has been crazy busy with the big new case. Good news for me in that I am getting plenty of hours and the opportunity to work on a really big case--even though my work is basically all in the background. But it also means that my supervising attorneys are so busy wrangling Really Big Case that some of the smaller stuff is being punted to me.
Tomorrow I have to go out of town to close a deal. I have pretty much orchestrated this deal and am very comfortable with closing it, but it was never suggested that I would do so.
I'm also being sent out of town again Wednesday night for a Thursday morning hearing. I haven't made a court appearance since law school.
And I am sitting in on a client meeting (I have had no client contact since being with this firm) on Friday. It is a relatively minor case, and I think that they are preparing to have me run with it.
So I am definitely glad to be getting more responsibility and venturing out from my usual research and drafting tasks. And I am happy to "cut my teeth" on the smaller cases, while still being involved in complex cases. It is a good blend.
But, damn, I am tired.
Tomorrow I have to go out of town to close a deal. I have pretty much orchestrated this deal and am very comfortable with closing it, but it was never suggested that I would do so.
I'm also being sent out of town again Wednesday night for a Thursday morning hearing. I haven't made a court appearance since law school.
And I am sitting in on a client meeting (I have had no client contact since being with this firm) on Friday. It is a relatively minor case, and I think that they are preparing to have me run with it.
So I am definitely glad to be getting more responsibility and venturing out from my usual research and drafting tasks. And I am happy to "cut my teeth" on the smaller cases, while still being involved in complex cases. It is a good blend.
But, damn, I am tired.
3/15/08
Its midnight, do you know where LC is?
Blogging in the bathtub. Don't worry, there's no water in it. But my house is bursting with company and I didn't want to keep DH up, and so here I am. I'm just not tired. Don't ask me why. I worked all day at the office and will probably need to put in some time from home tomorrow. Hmmm, maybe I should be doing some reading for work, that would probably put me to sleep.
Today was my official start date--so no more hourly pay for working all day on a Saturday. I have a boatload of paperwork to fill out. All of the regular work stuff, plus forms to list me in M-H and a few other lawyer listings. And the firm website. So I have to figure out my practice areas. Ummm, I've been licensed for 4 months--I haven't really established any practice areas. I've done a little bit of everything. Mostly products liability, but at this point I feel like a bit of a fraud claiming anything as a practice area.
Still putting in lots of hours, with no end in the very near future. I know it will settle eventually--but it could be a few weeks. Meanwhile I am taking advantage of a little bit of quiet time, hiding out in my bathtub.
Today was my official start date--so no more hourly pay for working all day on a Saturday. I have a boatload of paperwork to fill out. All of the regular work stuff, plus forms to list me in M-H and a few other lawyer listings. And the firm website. So I have to figure out my practice areas. Ummm, I've been licensed for 4 months--I haven't really established any practice areas. I've done a little bit of everything. Mostly products liability, but at this point I feel like a bit of a fraud claiming anything as a practice area.
Still putting in lots of hours, with no end in the very near future. I know it will settle eventually--but it could be a few weeks. Meanwhile I am taking advantage of a little bit of quiet time, hiding out in my bathtub.
3/12/08
Life is mostly good
Thanks for all the congrats! Everyone at the firm has been very nice and happy that I am finally sticking around.
But I have been so busy. We got a big case that is getting a lot of attention. The good news is that I am having no problems getting my billables right now. The not-so -good news is that I am exhausted. (The time change did not help.)
And since I worked all weekend, I didn't get any household stuff done--like grocery shopping. And my in-laws are coming this weekend, which we have known about for a couple of weeks. But then SIL just called to say that they decided to come visit, too. So I will have 7 houseguests for the weekend, 3 of whom are small children.
I really do like my inlaws, but I am so tired, and there will be no rest with a houseful of people. And I have to prepare for them. Thank god I finally got a housekeeper and that they are coming Friday. Tonight I went out and bought extra sheets and towels, because ours are starting to get kinda ratty. At some point I need to find my way to the grocery store. And planning a menu--arrgh.
And then next weekend we are planning to leave town (if I can get away from work). I'm beginning to think that might be a mistake, because with all the craziness I am going to need a break.
Oh and get this--at my firm all vacation/sick/personal time is discretionary for attorneys. As in, there is no set amount of time that one is allowed to take off. I'm thinking this is not a good thing.
I should probably put another hour or in tonight but I am truly pooped and would probably be useless. So I think I'll call it a night and try to find that extra hour that I lost earlier in the week.
But I have been so busy. We got a big case that is getting a lot of attention. The good news is that I am having no problems getting my billables right now. The not-so -good news is that I am exhausted. (The time change did not help.)
And since I worked all weekend, I didn't get any household stuff done--like grocery shopping. And my in-laws are coming this weekend, which we have known about for a couple of weeks. But then SIL just called to say that they decided to come visit, too. So I will have 7 houseguests for the weekend, 3 of whom are small children.
I really do like my inlaws, but I am so tired, and there will be no rest with a houseful of people. And I have to prepare for them. Thank god I finally got a housekeeper and that they are coming Friday. Tonight I went out and bought extra sheets and towels, because ours are starting to get kinda ratty. At some point I need to find my way to the grocery store. And planning a menu--arrgh.
And then next weekend we are planning to leave town (if I can get away from work). I'm beginning to think that might be a mistake, because with all the craziness I am going to need a break.
Oh and get this--at my firm all vacation/sick/personal time is discretionary for attorneys. As in, there is no set amount of time that one is allowed to take off. I'm thinking this is not a good thing.
I should probably put another hour or in tonight but I am truly pooped and would probably be useless. So I think I'll call it a night and try to find that extra hour that I lost earlier in the week.
3/10/08
Party at LC's place
It's official--I have a job. (9.75 months after graduation) They made the offer today and I will switch from contract to associate on the 15th. It is such a huge relief to finally have some degree of security. (Now I just have to worry about keeping up with my billables.)
They are paying me the salaried equivalent of what I have been earning hourly. DH though I should have negotiated for more, but honestly, what they are paying me is very competitive outside of Biglaw, so I didn't really have much to negotiate with. Besides, I didn't really expect a bump since I now get the benefit of, well, benefits.
But the best part is that the office managertold me that Big Boss spoke very highly of me and was very complimentary--and compliments are hard to come by from him.
So I know that I have had some misgivings about this firm, but I do think this is a good thing. I really like the cases that I am working on, and I have been given more varied and important tasks over the last month. I definitely could have been stuck with something much worse.
Now I need to go edit al of my posts that could get me fired. I wasn't especially careful when I was contract, because I didn't feel that I had anything to lose. My apologies if that screws up anyone's reader.
They are paying me the salaried equivalent of what I have been earning hourly. DH though I should have negotiated for more, but honestly, what they are paying me is very competitive outside of Biglaw, so I didn't really have much to negotiate with. Besides, I didn't really expect a bump since I now get the benefit of, well, benefits.
But the best part is that the office managertold me that Big Boss spoke very highly of me and was very complimentary--and compliments are hard to come by from him.
So I know that I have had some misgivings about this firm, but I do think this is a good thing. I really like the cases that I am working on, and I have been given more varied and important tasks over the last month. I definitely could have been stuck with something much worse.
Now I need to go edit al of my posts that could get me fired. I wasn't especially careful when I was contract, because I didn't feel that I had anything to lose. My apologies if that screws up anyone's reader.
3/9/08
The world revolves around families of 4
Which is irritating when you are a family of five. Most restaurants can easily accommodate 4, but with 5 they feel like they have to seat you at a giant table for which you have to wait an extra 15 minutes. (I have learned to tell the hosts that, because my children are small, we can fit into a standard size booth. That's not going to last much longer, though.) When we visit amusement parks, most rides will accept only 2 or 4--leaving one of us to go it alone. And then there are hotels.
In certain cities it is nearly impossible to book a hotel room for five. We are considering a road trip in a couple of weeks to a city we have visited once before. And we had the same problem last time. On that trip the twins were not quite 3, so I just fibbed and booked for 4. It's pretty easy to sneak an extra kid into a hotel when 2 of them look exactly alike.
But besides the fact that I don't really like having to hide one of my kids, a standard hotel room just isn't big enough. I can't sleep in the same room as my kids. They toss, they turn, they snore--loudly. And they don't go to sleep when we are all in the same room.
The answer, of course, is to get a suite. Suites are great, the are bigger, they divide the space (sometimes) so I don't have to listen to my snoring kids. So why are suites so friggin' hard to come by? Is it because I waited until the last minute to book? Is it because everybody wants a bigger room and to not listen to their kids' snoring? And if that is the case, why aren't hotels catching on and building more suite hotels. Isn't the average American family supposed to have 2.3 kids. Just where do they think we are going to put that extra 1/3 kid?
In certain cities it is nearly impossible to book a hotel room for five. We are considering a road trip in a couple of weeks to a city we have visited once before. And we had the same problem last time. On that trip the twins were not quite 3, so I just fibbed and booked for 4. It's pretty easy to sneak an extra kid into a hotel when 2 of them look exactly alike.
But besides the fact that I don't really like having to hide one of my kids, a standard hotel room just isn't big enough. I can't sleep in the same room as my kids. They toss, they turn, they snore--loudly. And they don't go to sleep when we are all in the same room.
The answer, of course, is to get a suite. Suites are great, the are bigger, they divide the space (sometimes) so I don't have to listen to my snoring kids. So why are suites so friggin' hard to come by? Is it because I waited until the last minute to book? Is it because everybody wants a bigger room and to not listen to their kids' snoring? And if that is the case, why aren't hotels catching on and building more suite hotels. Isn't the average American family supposed to have 2.3 kids. Just where do they think we are going to put that extra 1/3 kid?
Rite of Passage
I worked 12 hours straight yesterday (yes, that would be Saturday). And I'm going back today. It sort of seems overdue. What kind of lawyer doesn't have to lose an entire weekend every once in a while. But I did have a bad mommy moment. When I explained to TT that I had to work yesterday, I watched her face scrunch up with worry as she said, "But it's Saturday. We don't have school...and you are supposed to stay home with us."
In the end, I think they had a good day with Daddy. He actually had to meet with a client yesterday, so he set them up in Starbucks with our MP3 players and coloring books and they thought it was cool to go to a meeting.
And I think I definitely earned some brownie points. I was in before anybody else and The Boss was shocked to see me still there when he popped back in at 9:30 last night. But he mentioned that they recognized that my 30 days was up and that "obviously [I] had done a good job" and so the office manager would be talking to me next week. So I guess I finally have a real job (but I don't know the details).
P.S. If you haven't already, don't forget to reset your clocks.
In the end, I think they had a good day with Daddy. He actually had to meet with a client yesterday, so he set them up in Starbucks with our MP3 players and coloring books and they thought it was cool to go to a meeting.
And I think I definitely earned some brownie points. I was in before anybody else and The Boss was shocked to see me still there when he popped back in at 9:30 last night. But he mentioned that they recognized that my 30 days was up and that "obviously [I] had done a good job" and so the office manager would be talking to me next week. So I guess I finally have a real job (but I don't know the details).
P.S. If you haven't already, don't forget to reset your clocks.
3/3/08
Did I jinx myself?
I hired a housekeeper--yea! My inlaws are coming in two weeks and the serious cleaning has been seriously overlooked, so their impending visit pushed me to find somebody. I've needed someone for a while--it's just so much trouble to go find and hire someone. And the whole I-still-don't-have-a-real-job thing.
I interviewed two different services and would have been fine with either of them. The deciding factor was that one could get in tomorrow for the big cleaning, and again right before my inlaws come. I was also afraid that the one I didn't choose wasn't charging me enough. I think she would either end up resentful that she wasn't getting paid enough or not do what I wanted.
It will be soooo nice to come home to a freshly cleaned house tomorrow.
Now let's just hope that I don't get fired since I finally committed to a housekeeper.
I interviewed two different services and would have been fine with either of them. The deciding factor was that one could get in tomorrow for the big cleaning, and again right before my inlaws come. I was also afraid that the one I didn't choose wasn't charging me enough. I think she would either end up resentful that she wasn't getting paid enough or not do what I wanted.
It will be soooo nice to come home to a freshly cleaned house tomorrow.
Now let's just hope that I don't get fired since I finally committed to a housekeeper.
2/28/08
It's just a roller coaster
This week at work has gone better. I have been busier--which is definitely a good thing.
Came home today to learn that our fence is dangerously close to falling over thanks to gusty winds all week, and had moved enough to cause the gate to open and allow Bob to escape. Fortunately, Bob did not go far and ran up to the kids when they got home from school. Poor Bob will be stuck in the kennel we built in the garage that he hates tomorrow, and poor DH will be stuck working on the fence all weekend. He replaced about half the fence posts last spring, I guess now he gets to do the other half.
TT got her new glasses today. I already found them stuffed in between the couch cushions. I don't know how she is going to manage to keep up with them--especially since she is far-sighted and only needs them for close-up work.
The in-laws are coming in two week and the house is a disaster. I really need a housekeeper, and I think I am going to have to just do it, even though I was waiting to see if I ever got an offer out of Contract Firm.
Life is just busy--but we are managing.
Came home today to learn that our fence is dangerously close to falling over thanks to gusty winds all week, and had moved enough to cause the gate to open and allow Bob to escape. Fortunately, Bob did not go far and ran up to the kids when they got home from school. Poor Bob will be stuck in the kennel we built in the garage that he hates tomorrow, and poor DH will be stuck working on the fence all weekend. He replaced about half the fence posts last spring, I guess now he gets to do the other half.
TT got her new glasses today. I already found them stuffed in between the couch cushions. I don't know how she is going to manage to keep up with them--especially since she is far-sighted and only needs them for close-up work.
The in-laws are coming in two week and the house is a disaster. I really need a housekeeper, and I think I am going to have to just do it, even though I was waiting to see if I ever got an offer out of Contract Firm.
Life is just busy--but we are managing.
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