Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Did anyone else think that it was just wrong for Grey's Anatomy to have its episode with the chick who couldn't pass the bar on the very day that bar results came out? Talk about salt in the wounds. You emerge from a full day of crying and drinking to wind down with your favorite show only to have it thrown back in your face again.

Not that it applies to me (yet.) I still have a year before I have to endure this hell. But I was in the unfortunate position of being in the room today when someone got news that she did not pass and it was not pretty. This was not someone I know well, which made it all the more uncomfortable. I just hope she is in a drunken stupor and not watching tv tonight.

I am being forced to become a night student

Through a series of circumstances due in part to being a transfer student and in part to my own choices, I have left several of my major bar courses for my last semester. I was ok with that--thinking that it might actually be helpful to have my bar courses scheduled closer to taking the bar. The schedulers at my school apparently do not agree.

Wills & Trusts is only being offered at night--WTF? The subject that is probably the most tested on the bar is only offered one time and that time is at night? BE is only offered one time--thankfully during the day--but it conflicts with Con law 2, which is required for graduation. My undergrad degree is psych. I have never taken a business course in my life. I am pretty darn sure that I will regret it if I don't take BE. So, that forces me into the night Con law 2 section. This just sucks. Why would a major bar course and a required course conflict? The entire morning is open, as my school sucks up to the evening students. I have to take night courses 4 nights a week. I will not get to see my children at all on those days--other than getting them ready for school in the morning. If I had wanted to be a night student, I would have enrolled in the f'ing night program.

All Hallow's Eve

Per our usual protocol, DH took the little goblins out (actually a kitty, a puppy and Hermione), while I stayed home to hand out the goodies. It just doesn't seem fair for no one to be here to give out the treats while my kids canvas the neighborhood, so it has turned into a Daddy/Daughter thing for them.

Unfortunately, I had class until 6 and didn't make it home till seven, so I think I missed the little cute ones. I have only had 5 kids in half an hour and they were all older. Don't know what I'm gonna do with all the leftover chocolate if I don't get more traffic. My ass sure doesn't need it.

In between hopping up to answer the door I am watching Ghost (and blogging.) I hate Demi Moore's hair in this movie. She looked better in GI Jane when she had no hair.

To do or not to do?

What I could (should?) have done today:
1)Edited my rough draft
2)Started on another paper
3)Gone to the courthouse to do research for another paper
4)Drafted an amendment to a motion I brought last Monday
5)Made about 1000 phone calls for my clinic case
6)Drafted one of the three memos that are overdue on my clinic case
7)Drafted a letter requesting the school records of my clinic clients

What I actually did today:
1)Spent an hour watching the Today show and reading online BB's
2)Cleaned house--it really needed it.
3)Went to Home Depot for ant killer because ants have found their way into my kitchen, presumably due to my less than spectacular housekeeping of late, and the awesome amounts of food my kids manage to drop in the floor.
4)Went to the bank
5)Went to the grocery store--again really needed. The kids are thrilled to have food in the house again
6)Watched a Gilmore Girls episode while checking my email
7)Picked the rugrats up from school
8)Took them to the pumpkin patch and bought each a pumpkin. Does anybody have real pumpkin patches where the pumpkins are actually growing in a field? Around here is pumpkin patch is just a bunch of pre-harvested pumpkins dumped in a field.
9)Went to Target to buy a carving kit and bought a 6 bags of chocolate (I refuse to be the house that hands out Smarties and DumDums.) We also bought Monster House to watch while we carve our pumpkins.
10)Came home, told the kids they had to clean their rooms before the pumpkin carving could commence, and hopped online for a few minutes of peace and quiet.

So I did not get anything school related done, but my household chores had been neglected for quite a while, and I am looking forward to family time tonight while we carve pumpkins. Then the rest of the weekend will be devoted to those tasks I neglected today.

TGI hump day!

This week started out really crappy, but it's getting better.

I found out I got a scholarship. Not a lot, but $$ is always good.

I got a B on the rough giraffe of the paper that was giving me fits. It is an international law paper, and let me just say that international law research is a bitch. A B is perfectly average around here, and I am fine with average in this class. Also, they gave me lots of feedback, so there is a chance I can pull it up and be better than average before it's all said and done.

The craziness has settled down a bit, but I'm sure it's not for long. I still have a lot to do for my death penalty class. I guess that will be this weekend's goal.

On the kid front, I have to build a Thomas Jefferson doll to go along with the report.

My nanny is in Hawaii, so I am going crazy shuffling the kids from their school to mine so that I can make my late afternoon and evening classes. Yesterday, 5 y.o. DD warned, "Don't go too fast, Mommy, you'll get a slip." 8 y.o. replied, "She's not gonna slip, it's not raining." To which 5 y.o. said, "No, a slip, she'll get a slip--like from a police officer!"

DD's book report

I overcame my control-freak tendencies and did not interfere. I hope her teacher find this as hilarious as I do.

Thomas Jefferson—a biography

The title of the book is Thomas Jefferson. The author and illustrator
are both Annie Welsbacher. This book is non-fiction. It is a biography (which is a book about a real live person). If the person wrote the book about himself it is an autobiography.

Here’s an explanation: Thomas Jefferson was the 3rd president. In 1776 he wrote The Declaration of Independence. The Declaration of Independence made America independent on the Fourth of July. In 1769 Jefferson built a house called Monticello, Italian for “little mountain.” He created the coin system we use today.

I didn’t like it. It was boring. Nothing in it is exciting. I was so bored I couldn’t concentrate. I don’t like biographies at all!!!!!

"This is my beautiful granddaughter, she is going to be a lawyer, and she has 3 little girls and two of them are identical twins."

That is how my grandmother introduced me to each and every one of her friends at church this weekend. I guess it is the synopsis of my life (not so sure about the beautiful part, but hey, I'll take what I can get).

I was summoned back to my hometown last weekend because my maternal grandmother is dying. I do not have a good relationship with my mother, and I was not happy to go back and have to deal with her, so I opted to stay with my paternal grandparents. Neither of my parents were what I would classify as great parents, but my paternal grandparents were always there to pick up the slack. This was the first time I have visited them alone at least since I got married 10 years ago. I wasn't sure what to expect.

As it turns out, you can go home again. Despite the fact that I am now a 31 year old mother of three and almost lawyer, I guess I will always be my grandparents little girl. I was waited on hand and foot. I was lectured for putting gas in the car that my grandfather lent me. I was slipped a check. I was asked at least twice if I needed to go to the bathroom when we were at church.

Although I would have predicted that I would be irritated by my grandparents' attention, it was actually kind of nice to regress to my childhood and be spoiled a little bit. I hated being away from my kids, but I was glad to have a little bit quieter time with my grandparents, because I know that the opportunities to spend quality time with them are dwindling.

The Splash Menagerie

I have spent the entire day working on a major paper (and it's not going well) so I decided to reward myself with a bath. I haven't taken an actual bath in forever. Before I could get to my tub I had to move two Little Ponies, Pocahontas, a kangaroo, a wooly mammoth, and a fish. Fortunately the little critters who left behind all the little critters also left behind their Mr. Bubble. So at least I got to end my day with bubble-gum scented bubbly goodness.

Murderers are Pussies

Through work and school I have viewed several interview tapes of murder suspects. Every freakin' one starts crying like a baby when he realizes that he's busted. They all beg for mercy when they refused to consider it for their victims.

Booze and Schmooze

So last night I went to a Schmoozefest meeting where I was reminded once again why I don't want to do BigLaw(besides that I don't have the grades anyway and I don't want to work 80 hour weeks). Keep in mind that this Schmoozefest was only for litigators. A fifth year and a sixth year associate were talking about all the trial prep work they have been doing lately and how busy it is and how there just aren't enough lawyers (um hello, I know about 300 unemployed soon to be lawyers). Anyhoo--after a while one of them pops up and says "...and maybe I will actually get to speak at the next trial." WTF? 5th year associate earning 6 figures but can't be allowed to actually speak at trial? I am a freaking student, and I have already done a direct in a criminal jury trial. Apparently, as my instincts have been telling me, criminal work is the road to the courtroom. The criminal defense lawyer sitting next to me has had 6 trials this year. That's more like it. (He did say however that he missed all the great meals from Biglaw.)

TGIF--the week has sucked

I know I said I would try to work on my spotty posting, but I am just too freakin' busy.

My clinic case has some new drama every time I turn around. It sucks away every free moment I have. I am doing my best to help my clients, but it seems like nothing I do actually does any good. It is so frustrating.

Meanwhile, I was apparently deluded when I decided to take both of my required writing courses in the same semester. I am totally going to tank my GPA (which has been hovering at mediocrity, anyway). I had to review my outline for one paper with the profs this week and they reamed me. I spent half of yesterday and all of today in the library, trying to redeem myself before the rough draft is due.

In my other writing class, everyone in the class is having difficulty getting exact parameters on what we are supposed to be researching. I am trying to compare capital murder indictments to find a pattern on when the death penalty is sought. That doesn't sound too bad, except that the DA's office completely shut me down when I called about getting a list of capital murder indictments. They told me the only way to get this info was to get a list of all indictments (2 pages/day and I have to pay per page) and sort through them myself. Makes me wonder what the DA's office is trying to hide.

I am just thankful this week is over. I would like to think it will get better next week, but I already know I have a full schedule and the deadlines for both papers quickly approaching. Whoever said they bore you to death your third year lied. This is the busiest I have ever been.

Working on my Rough Giraffe

I was complaining to DH about having only 2 weeks to complete my rough draft on a 40 page paper. 5 y.o. DD overhears this conversation and asks, "What's a rough giraffe? Is that a mean giraffe that come out of the jungle and goes like this (as she does her best Kung Fu moves)."

Dum, Dum, Da Dum--It's a girl

So in honor of DD's 8th b-day yesterday we watched the video of her birth. Don't worry, nothing graphic. Throughout the video, there is classical music playing in the background. It is supposed to be soothing, as one is preparing to bring another life into the world. I had packed up several of my own CD's, and DH and thrown in one of his own--which just happened to be a demo cd for a stereo system. Most of the music on it was actually pretty good. But just as I am giving those last few pushes--in the moment that I am about to meet my precious baby girl for the first time--THE WEDDING MARCH STARTS PLAYING.

I was furious then, and I am still mad--although at least I can laugh about it now. What the hell was the wedding march doing on when I am trying to push an (8 lb) baby out? DH still has not heard the end of this. But at least every time I hear the wedding march, I think of DD.

This just in from the career services office...

All students: MAJOR
ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!

GET YOUR PARTY
PICTURES OR ANY QUESTIONABLE PICTURES OFF OF FACEBOOK.COM OR MY SPACE.COM. THIS VERY MINUTE!!

We have received calls from employers who are researching potential clerks and associates and have been told that some of you have inappropriate pictures and information on those websites. This information is affecting their hiring decisions.

Not gonna Bop to the top*

So I had an interview yesterday with a DA's office in a big city. They asked lots of questions about my experience and whether I had a family never came up, which was nice. I had plenty of opportunity to talk about the things I did in the small DA's office I worked in over the summer. The conversation flowed, I think I asked them good questions.

And yet I still know they weren't interested in me. I got the "we've liked everybody we've seen today" line. And the girl in front of me got a business card that I did not--and was asking them about the letter she will be receiving in the mail.

So, I ask--why doesn't anybody like me? I have a terrible track record with interviews. In fact, the jobs I have had I generally have not had formal interviews for. Apparently, I don't interview well. The great irony is that I have gotten along very well in every job I have had, and I think that all of my employers really liked me. I get things done. I'm a hard worker. I follow through. These are traits that some of my younger counterparts that I have worked with have issues with (not to say that is true of all younger law students). I am sure that if I ever got far enough in an interview to have my references checked that it would be a huge benefit for me. So what do I do so differently in an interview from my regular working personality?

I didn't even care about the job--it was in a city I wasn't convinced that I wanted to move to. I am just bummed that I never manage a second interview. The whole interview scenario is really bumming me out.

*Oh yeah, that's direct from High School Musical. DD's 8th birthday party was last night. I tool a carload of girls to Club Libby Lu where they rocked out to the High Schoool Musical CD all the way there and back.

And while we're on the subject...

One preacher's message: Have hotter sex - America Unzipped - MSNBC.com

Colombia gang wives call sex strike - Americas - MSNBC.com

Personally, I have been usin this method to get what I want for years.

Colombia gang wives call sex strike - Americas - MSNBC.com

Law school is finally fun

Ok, well, I was always one of those geeks who never thought law school was that bad to begin with. I mean, I had spent the previous 6 years wiping butts and noses, so going to school with grown-ups was practically a party. But, I digress.

This semester I finally get to work on real cases. Most of my credits are coming from a clinic where I have real clients, investigations and court appearances. I am taking two other classes where I will be working on two other cases (one high profile, one newsworthy) behind the scenes. I'm only taking one traditional, Socratic, sit-in-class, take-a-test type class--crim pro--and since I just spent the last six months in the DA's office, its pretty much a blow-off.

It is awesome to finally be working on real cases that affect real people. It makes it much easier to go to class and do what needs to be done. But I am so darn busy. Because I am now affecting other people, I have to go the extra mile. I can't procrastinate until the end of the semester because I have deadlines rapidly approaching.

So, I apologize for my spotty posting. I'll try to do better.

I kicked the MPRE's ass!

I was finally able to log in to the MPRE website. All that worrying for nothing. Actually, I did so well, that I am left thinking that I spent entirely too much time preparing.

Apparently as penance for my little tirade earlier (that's karma a la Earl), I burned up my blow dryer 2 minutes in to drying my hair so I was forced to go to school looking like a freak. I might have been ok if I hadn't started to dry my hair, but it was left half straight and half curly with no way time to do much of anything with it. See what happens when you throw fits? Bad mojo.

Stupid MPRE

MPRE results are supposed to be out today. Actually, the brilliant folks at MPRE sent me an email telling me they were out last week. Psych! Then they sent an email saying, no wait, they'll really be out after Labor Day.

Ok, it's after Labor Day, where are my freaking results? I can't even get a page to load on the MPRE website. Of course, the email they sent said if I had any problems to call, but the phone message says that they will not give results via phone, fax or email.

The funny thing is, that I had pretty much forgotten about the MPRE. But now that they have reminded me about themselves, and being they typical anal-retentive OCD law student that I am, I want my F'ing results now!

(And, yes, I do realize that I sound like a big fat whiney baby.)

My baby is back!

So, being a complete and total idiot, I blew up my laptop last week. Had to get a new motherboard. Apparently, you cannot just walk into Circuit City and buy a new motherboard for a laptop, so I had to order it and wait and wait and wait for it to come in. In the meantime, DH set me up with a desktop, but it's just not the same. Using a different computer is like sleeping in someone else's bed. Nothing feels right. I am now so trained to use a laptop keyboard that I am downright clunky on a desktop keyboard.

And even though DH transferred my hard drive to the desktop, stuff was just different. My favorites list reorganized itself alphabetically. That made the blogs that I visit all out of order. Call me anal, but I read the blogs in a very specific order. The most important ones (funniest) get top billing and the rest come later, if I have time. So I go looking for Favorable Dicta--is it under the F's for Favorable, the D's for Dicta, heck no--it is way at the bottom under the W's for Will Work for favorable dicta. As you can see, my whole freakin world was upside down (and I haven't even mentioned being computer-less at school. This is my 3L year, I am supposed to be surfing the net in all my classes).

Anyway, it's all better now, new motherboard came in and DH promptly fixed me up. Still needs a little tweaking but at least I have OneNote and the internet, and that's all that really matters.

P.S. It is a very bad idea to use a corded laptop in a recliner. Recliners hate cords--mine has been eaten twice. It is an even worse idea to tape the power cord back together with packing tape until you can purchase a new one. Just don't.

My babies started school today

My now big third grader decided that she didn't even need me to walk her to class--but I insisted so that I could get pics. Don't know if I'll be able to do that again, I'm sure we're heading into the "Mo-oommm, you're so embarassing" years.

My twins started Kindergaten. One was excited and ready for a new adventure. The other just seemed so depressed. It made me sad that she was so sad, but I know it will get better. She did great in pre-K last year and loved school.

I start my clinic orientation tomorrow. I received a packet of orientation materials a week ago, and of course, I have procrasitnated. I just have not been able to get into the back-to-school swing. Now I'm paying for it, because I have been reading all day and I'm still not done. Now I'm going to have to do all of my first day assignments after I get home from orientation. That's what I get for spending the last week lounging around catching up on all those Gilmore Girls episodes that I had TIVO'd.

ix-nae on the uburban-sae

So we were all ready to finalize everything on the new Suburban, but being the law student that I am, I insisted that we reserve the right to have it looked at by the mechanic of our choosing before making it all official. Good thing--the mechanic found a mystery knock in the engine. Said it could be minor, but more likely it would be an expensive repair.

I returned the Suburban and the dealer is having their own guys check it out, but I have informed them that they better be looking at other options for me. In the meantime, I drove a Tahoe from another dealer. It's basically the same vehicle as the Suburban, but with about half the cargo space in the back. We've decided that we could really use the extra cargo space, so I guess we are officially looking at only Suburbans now. (That was so not our original intention. I was always the one bitching about the soccer moms in their super-sized SUV's). Hopefully we can find something before school starts next week. God, I hate car shopping.

We just went looking...

...and brought home a Suburban. The minivan mom-mobile has grown intolerable lately. The last straw was when the air conditioning quit working properly. So we went out today, just to take a look. We were really wanting to move into a smaller sized SUV, but they all felt about the same as the minivan. The girls are getting bigger and we sometimes have an extra kid or two and just needed something with more space. So we ended up with the Granddaddy of SUV's. We can fit 9 people in that sucker and it's gonna cost $100 a pop to fill 'er up. I know its not environmentally responsible, but at least with three kids I can justify the monstrosity. And you know what? I really like it. It's comfy and drives well. Its just gonna take a little while to learn to park.

My favorite new time killer...

Oceangram

It is throwing virtual messages in bottles into the virtual ocean to see who will respond. It feels sort of like the early 90's when chat rooms first starting appearing, and you would just talk to any random stranger on AOL. Anyway, I have become obsessed. I keep throwing random messages out there and responding to the ones that keep popping up. Some are funny, some are stupid and some are just plain sad. At least there I get feedback. Unlike here where I am just writing into the wind and no one ever comments. (Can you detect that whiney note in my blog?)

I'm not a pirate, as a matter of fact I'm a lawyer*

Today was my last day with the D.A.'s office. I am so sad--I loved it there. I really fit in with the people who worked there and I loved what I was doing. They told me that I was their favorite intern. Unfortunately, it's a small office and there is virtually no chance that they will have an opening when I graduate. :(

I have one full week until school starts. I already have a load of reading assignments from two classes, and a paper due on the first day. Looks like the daily grind is already starting back up.

*Ok, this has no relevance to anything, but we were watching Hook with the kids tonight and this line amused me.

The Crack Fairy

I am no longer a trial virgin. Today I got to do my first direct examination during a jury trial. The 1st chair offered it to me yesterday but our supervisor almost took it away from me because he was concerned that it was too much for my first trial. I told them that I really wanted to do it unless they were concerned that I would screw up the whole case. I guess they weren't that worried, because I got to do it. But first, they brought in one of our investigators to explain to me that cops are like scared little girls on the witness stand, and they get really upset if the prosecutors don't protect them from the defense attorneys. Great, now I had to worry about pissing off my supervisor who didn't want me doing this and the officers.

Despite all the worries I did fine. I really wasn't nervous, and everyone (including my overprotective supervisor and defense counsel) said I did great. It helped that the officer that I was examining was terrific. It was his first time to testify, but he never let the defense rattle him (and he tried).

Unfortunately, even with my kick ass performance ;) we lost the case. Turns out that the jury didn't think that walking on the wrong side of the street should be cause for officers to stop a person. (Yes, walking on the wrong side of the street is an offense--you have to walk with traffic, not against it--or is it the other way around?)

The very best part of the case was during cross of the defendant. The prosecutor couldn't pin him down on where the crack came from, so she finally asked, "So I guess the Crack Fairy came down and put the crack under your grandma's porch?" I think I bit a hole through my lip to try to keep from busting a gut.

The Blind Leading the Blind

We picked a jury for a possession case today. I was pleasantly surprised when the ADA trying the case offered to let me do the direct on one of the officers. The direct shouldn't be a problem, but under local court rules, the att'y doing the direct also has to make all objections to the cross. There is concern that the defense att'y will take advantage of my trial virgin status.

And the best part...the officer has never testified before. This should be great--I've never questioned anyone--he's never testified, we'll make a great pair.

Ok, off to review possible trial objections.

I survived, but my case didn't

So I made it through my first argument. I think I did ok, and gave the defense att'y more of a challenge than he expected from a student. He even conceded two of my points. The judge has taken it under advisement, but I don't think he is going to rule in my favor.

This was an asset forfeiture case. The law allows the state to seize a vehicle used for the illegal transport of alcohol. The defendants were accused of transporting through a dry county. 5 bottles of tequila and two cases of beer. Transporting for personal consumption is ok, but the driver wouldn't admit that the alcohol was his, so the officer seized the car.

So I got the defense to admit that transporting through a dry county is an offense (he went off on some crazy tangent saying there was no offense), and that the defendant admitted (at the scene and in an affidavit) that it was not for personal consumption. I had a good argument (and a good case to back me up) that even if there was another owner listed on the title of the vehicle that he was not a "true" owner of the vehicle and that it could still be seized. The defense didn't even bother to respond to this, but I think the judge was intrigued.

But, the defense argued excessive forfeiture. It was the only argument I didn't have a good response for. A $10K car for the misdemeanor offense of transporting 5 bottles of liquor. And excessiveness is purely within the discretion of the court. The judge ruled for the defense.

Tomorrow I get to be a litigator

Tomorrow I argue a response to a motion for summary judgment. Although I have done a few hearings, this will be my first argument--the first time I have had someone working against me. I am anxious to see how I do.

When I took on this case, neither I nor anybody else thought we stood a chance (which is why it was given to an intern in the first place.) After doing the research and writing the response, I realized that we do have a chance, even if its a slim one. I don't like the case, but I think that I might be able to at least survive summary judgment. It's just gong to take some creative lawyering (i.e. just because someone's name is on the title doesn't mean he is a true owner). I guess we'll see how persuasive I can be.

Feeling a little competition lately

I've been getting competitive vibes from one of the attorneys that I work with. She is only a year out of law school and was the intern darling of the office before she graduated and was hired. I think she feels like I am too close to what she was. The thing is, I don't understand why she cares. She gets her own case load now, and actually gets to do the fun stuff. I'm still just an intern. Every time I turn around she is dredging up some menial task and seems irritated when another att'y gives me actual responsibility (doing the same kinds of things she was as an intern.) I thought it might have just been me being a dork, but today another att'y commented on how irritated she was when we started gathering files so that I could start putting together a trial notebook. This has previously been her territory. But come on--she actually gets to do the trials, why on earth would you get your panties in a wad over putting together a notebook? I like her and we have gotten along well so far, but this is getting irritating.

MPRE *snooze*

I'm having trouble getting motivated to study for the MPRE. I'm off work this week and I have fallen into a great pit of laziness. So far my study has consisted of attending the video prep course and taking two practice exams. I haven't cracked the book. But I did ok on the practice exams. But that leaves me with even less incentive to study. Still I don't want to blow this off. I know two people who failed, and at least one of those really surprised me.

So now I think I'll go take a nap. Then maybe I'll take a look at that book.

Don't Mess With the Judge

So I managed to gracefully exit my family law job and am back to working only two days a week in the DA's office. This week had crazy dockets because the judge was out last week and all of the attorney's will be gone next week. I did three pleas on Wednesday, and fortunately was not the one to do the five count plea on a co-actor in a murder case. The judge decided that he was going to stack all five counts on this guy, rather than let them run concurrently as per the plea agreement. You could instantly see the defense attorney start to sweat. He started to argue with the judge, and the judge pretty quickly put him in his place. In the end it came down to a minute procedural issue having to do with the order in which the individual counts were entered, and in this case, it was not done in such a way that the judge could stack.

In other news, I filed my first court document today that I prepared 100% by myself. It is a response to a motion for summary judgment, and I am really looking forward to arguing it in a couple of weeks.

They're all F'ing crazy

I swear each day there is a defendant crazier than the last. Our crazy defendant of the day set a house on fire with seven kids inside. With gasoline. On purpose. Knowing that the kids were there and that three of them were his own grandkids. The house burned to the ground within ten minutes and its a miracle that none of the kids were hurt.

The Tink and Super Soda

That is what my soon-to-be-five-year olds have claimed as their superhero names. Super Soda squirts bad tasting root beer at the bad guys. Not sure what The Tink does. Big sis has dubbed herself Princess Stephanie who has the power to make new powers. I love it when their imaginations run wild--they're far more creative than I have ever been.

Evil Eye

Sat in on a murder trial today. The entire time the defendant was staring at me. At first I just thought I was being narcissistic--or crazy--but a few more glances and I was sure that he was giving me the evil eye. I mentioned this during the break, and the other attorneys confirmed that he is performing what one called "the blinkey-blinkey defense". Every few minutes he rapidly blinks his eyes for a minute or so, and then he goes into a catatonic stare. It's his way of trying to convince the jury he's crazy. I just happened to be in the direct line of the stare today. Creepy.

I need to grow some cojones

I quit my job at the family law firm. There were some ethical situations that I was just not comfortable with. Of course, I could not use that as my excuse for quitting--this is a small town and I will likely have to deal with them again--so I told them that I wanted to put more time in the DA's office since I got my student bar card and I was getting to do hearings and other fun stuff. They were fine with that--but this morning I got a dort of dis-engagement letter, stating that since I was leaving "to work for the DA's office full-time" could I please put up my position on my school's job boards.

First, I never exactly said I was working for the DA's office full-time--and I'm not. Now I feel like I really told a lie. But, in this case, I guess a small lie is better than the truth. More importantly, I don't know what to do about posting on my school's job boards. I don't really want to foist the ethical dilemmas that I had to deal with on to one of my classmates.

Now the real reason I need to grow a pair is because of the other attorney who offices in that firm--we'll call him Slimey. He came in about a week ago and asked for my cell # in case he had some research projects. After I gave it to him he said, "yeah, its nice that you guys get free Lexis access, it really helps me out to have a student do my research". I was sort of shocked at the time, and didn't respond, but figured I'd deal with it if he ever asked me to do anything.

Soooo, the day I quit the firm, Slimey comes in and tells me about this new case he has picked up (he doesn't know yet that I have quit), and then manages to squeze in what he needs me to find out and where to find it--on Lexis. Again, I am dumbstruck, and truly don't know how to respond--especially since I have quit the firm and he doesn't know yet. So I just say ok, and he leaves.

So, of course I haven't done any of his research. I don't feel comfortable using my school account for this sleazeball--oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure there's an agreement in place that says I can't do that. I have got to deal with this guy head on and get rid of him, or he is going to haunt me. (He has already called 8 times in a 6 hour period because he forgot the alarm code at the office and I had my phone off.) I am usually pretty forward with dealing people--but I have always dreaded the sleazy salesman type--which is what this guy is. But if I am going to be a litigator, I am going to have to start dealing with sleazy lawyers, a little more forcefully than I have with Slimey. Uggghhh. I just want to be done with this whole bad situation.

I registered for Bar/BRI today...

I thought I was going to have a heart attack. So far, I have managed to put the Bar in the farthest reaches of my mind and mostly forget about it. I refused to sign up for Bar/BRI my 1L year just-in-case I flunked out--or maybe because I though it would jinx me. But my PR prof recommended the Bar/BRI MPRE prep, which requires Bar/BRI registration and down payment. So I bit the bullet and registered. I seriously had heart palpitations. It is much easier to ignore the Bar breathing down your neck when you haven't invested any $$ in prepping for it (except for the $100k or so being piddled away in law school tuition). Anyway, I hope the MPRE prep is worth the bar anxiety it is creating--but I guess I would have had to register sooner or later anyway.

I passed Con Law!!!!

I was seriously worried about not passing. It was hardest test I have ever taken, and I swear I didn't know the answers and just made crap up. I was praying for a C-. Anything to keep from having to re-take the class. I got a B-. I have no idea how. I don't even care that it was below the curve, I was just happy to have passed. The rest of my grades came in a month ago, and I have been on pins and needles waiting for this one. Now I feel like I can finally enjoy my summer.

You learn something new every day.

Between today and last Monday I have learned more about blood splatters than I ever thought I needed to know. The science behind it is actually pretty interesting. For instance, did you know that you can get a good idea of what was used to commit a murder by the size of the droplets in the splatter? Apparently smaller droplets are the result of higher velocity impact (i.e. a gunshot) and larger droplets would result from a lower velocity impact (i.e. a baseball bat).

License to Speak (in Court)

Woo Hoo! I got my temporary bar card in the mail today. Now I can start trying cases in the DA's office.

We are still prepping for the murder case that goes to trial in 3 weeks. We spent today interviewing all of the investigators and then we toured the crime scene. I got to visit the lovely trailer trash community of Easy Living. Seriously. The place was called Easy Living. You just know that can't be a high class place.

I survived

Last night DD invited 5 girls over for a slumber party. Plus my three meant 8 crazy little girls running around. Since this wasn't a birthday party or anything, I didn't plan any activities, figuring that the girls would just kind of hang out until it got late and then settle in for a movie.

Ha! They fought constantly. One of them, L, was trying to boss around the rest, and they fought back. I went upstairs to find three of them crying. The first one I found was L. When I asked her why, she reported that my DD told her that she should probably leave since she couldn't get along with anybody!

I realized then that I probably needed to intervene. This is probably the cheeziest thing I have ever done, but I didn't know what else to do. I made all the girls sit in a "feelings circle". I had a macaroni bead necklace that I named the "speaker necklace", and only the person wearing it could speak. Then one at a time, each girls got to say what she was upset about, and then apologize to anyone whose feelings she had hurt. It actually worked out pretty well, and everybody got along after that.

Later, I indoctrinated them into the world of The Goonies, the slumber party staple from my generation, and they followed that up with the new must have for all girls, High School Musical. In the end I think they all had fun, but I think we will all be taking naps this afternoon.

PsychoMom

I don't think I have ever blogged about PsychoMom before. She is the mother of one of DD's friends. I first encountered her when I became DD's Girl Scout leader last year (yes, I was dumb enough to take on Girl Scout leadership at the same time I was starting law school--but that's a whole other post).

It started with her occasionally asking me to take her daughter to or from the meetings--she couldn't do it because she had a baby (2 year old). This excuse didn't fly too well with me since at that time I had two three-year olds, and still managed to get my child where she needed to be. Still, I didn't think much about it at the time, as it was only a minor inconvenience.

My big mistake was asking if her DD (S), could come over for a play date over the Christmas holidays, since I would be out of school. She interpreted this to mean that I would be her holiday babysitter, and invited her daughter over several more times unless I could come up with an excuse to avoid it. And then she realized that I had all school holidays off, and thought that I would be happy to watch S all of those times, too. I finally put my foot down and told her that even on breaks, I still had to spend a great deal of time studying, and that when I wasn't studying, I wanted to spend what little time I had with my own children.

Over the next few months, she would be the only mom who couldn't attend many of our girl scout functions (because of the "baby). The biggest event was a mom/daughter campout in late May. It was the first time camping for many of the girls, and we though having moms there would be the best way to break them in. I felt so sorry for S that her mom was the only one not there. I told the mom that the girls would probably be tired when we got back, and that it would be between 10-12 Sunday morning--probably earlier rather than later.

The camping trip was miserably hot--100 degrees, high humidity and not a breeze the entire weekend. We were in cabins, but they were hotter than being outside (and of course un-air-conditioned). The heat plus the camping experience left the girls (and me) absolutely dragging by Sunday morning. We were up early, ate cold breakfasts, and were on the road by 8 am.

At 9:30, I tried to call PsychoMom to tell her that I would be at her house in 20 minutes. No answer. I tried her cell. She was at church. She said church didn't get out until 12, and could S just stay at my house until then.

I was exhausted, dirty, cranky and at my breaking point with this woman. More importantly, both of our daughters were exhausted and dirty. I told her that my DD and I were headed straight for the shower and bed and that I thought that her DD needed to do the same, and that no, she could not leave her until 12:00.

I'm sure that she thought I was the wicked witch of the west, making her miss church and all, but I really didn't care. When she arrived, she brought church clothes for S and dragged the poor child for church. I am certainly not against gong to church, but I think it is reasonable to miss under certain circumstances, and this was one of them.

I really thought that after that, she would leave me alone-ahhh, but no.

Within a couple of weeks she called to see if S could come over because she didn't have a sitter. I told her that I was working full time over the summer and would not be home. She asked what I was doing with my kids for the summer. I told her that I had a nanny. Then she had the gall to ask if S could come over and stay with my nanny! I was almost stunned speechless, but I finally managed to tell her that I did not fell comfortable with that.

When school started again in the fall, she again wanted to know what I was doing with my kids. I told her that I would be home in time to pick them up from school most days, and the nanny would be here on other days. She of course saw this as an open invitation for me to watch her kid.

I finally told her point blank that law school was not community college, I spent about a 60 hour week between classes and studying, and that I could not have extra kids running around when I was trying to work in the afternoon. I went on to tell her that I had no interest in babysitting--ever--and I recommended child care options to her. (I knew that she had been mooching free child care off of others for the last year). Once again, I though this would get her to leave me alone.

She hasn't asked me to watch her DD since then, but she has invited my DD over a few times. I mostly try to avoid the invitation, because I just don't want to get started with her again. I have yet to figure out if she is manipulative or just completely clueless. I did let DD go to S's b-day party a few weeks ago, but when I went to pick her up I saw an empty wine bottle and glasses sitting on the counter. I don't think it's appropriate to down a bottle of wine when you are supervising other people's kids.

Now PsychoMom has emailed again this week wanting DD to come play. She said that S is home with her grandmother (whom she has told he has dementia and can't be left with "the baby"). I just want her to go away!!!!!! I haven't responded yet, and I don't know how or if I will. It seems kind of immature to just ignore, but no matter how impolite or direct I am with this woman she will not stop. And since our kids go to the same school and there is a reasonable chance they will end up in the same class at some point, it is unlikely that I can avoid her forever. Ugggh. How do you deal with people like this?

I lost my broom

DD is having a slumber party tonight, so the house is getting the deepest cleaning that its had in quite some time. But we can't find the broom. I can't imagine where the broom could have disappeared to--it's not like something that could be buried at the bottom of the twins' toy box. Very weird.

Just another if you're bored link...

The Nipple Project

School's Out for Summer...

I have been out of school for a couple of weeks now, but today was the last day for my girls. The last day is always kind of bittersweet. It is hard to say goodbye to teachers and friends that are moving away or who you won't get to see all summer. My twins will be moving to a new school for kindergarten next year, so they will have to make all new friends and won't get to see their old teachers at all. One little girl was crying her eyes out at having to leave her Pre-K teacher.

Despite all of that, I am glad they are done. It will be so nice to have all of the girls in the same school next year--and in one right by our house. We weren't sure if K would be full-day or half, but today I confirmed it was full-day. Woohoo! I think my girls are ready for full day, and it will save me a bundle in child care expenses.

I am a little sad, though, because while my girls' summer is just getting started, I just gave away more of my free time. I was offered the job that I just interviewed for here in my little suburb. It is only 2 days/week, but that is in addition to the 2 days/week that I will be in the D.A.'s office. At least I get Fridays off. And a 10 minute commute will be really nice (compared to the hour drive to school). I think it will be a great opportunity--and hopefully it will help me make some local connections.

Ok, so it's been a while

Life just went crazy. The day I finished my final exams, I got a call that there had been a death in the family and had to leave town. That was fun--I haven't spoken with my mother in about 6 months, and then I had to deal with her for 3 days--ick. And my oh-so-classy family was consulting me about probate issues before the deceased was even in the ground. And the deceased had only recently been released from prison, and his "estate" was mostly in cash, so I really don't think they want to get the probate courts involved. Luckily for me, I haven't had will and trusts so I was pretty much useless in that conversation.

The next weekend DH graduated, so his whole family was in town and staying with us. I actually like my in-laws (who are like the Cleavers, as opposed to my own screwed up family), but a housefull of people is always a little stressful, and we were in a rush to get everything together, since the house had fallen apart during finals, and I had been out of town. Than God DH is out of school though. Two students in the family was just too much. He now has his M.S. in software engineering.

In the midst of all this we have had two jury trials going on at work. The first was the child murder case. The jury did not find guilt on the capital murder charge (a co-actor already pled to life to avoid the death penalty), but gave the defendant life for injury to a child. I think everyone involved was glad to finally have a a resolution to this very emotional case.

The current case involves a meth lab and a bunch of other bad stuff. The defendant just looks like a bad guy and he was quite entertaining on the stand. And I have learned all about how to make meth in case my law career doesn't pan out. (But my gosh, when you see the stuff they use it is no wonder these idiots are always blowing themselves up.)

Finally, in other news, I still haven't found an actually paying job this summer. I am beginning to feel a tiny bit rejected. My grades aren't terrible (although I still don't know if I failed con law), I have good legal experience, I'm beginning to think its just me. It's hard for me to get too upset, though. I am happy only working two days a week for the D.A.'s office. I get to hang out with the kids the rest of the time--or I can go to work if a trial is going on.

I did interview for one last job earlier this week, though. Only because it is in my little suburban town, not ten minutes from my house. They seemed to like me and claimed to be impressed with my resume, but we'll see. It was with a solo practitioner who does primarily family law. According to her son, she is the go-to lawyer for the well-to-do seeking divorces in my area.

Yep, that's right, her son. I was interviewed my her husband and her son. No they aren't lawyers nor involved with her practice. Apparently she has made some poor hiring decisions in the past, so they came to help her out. I don't know if that will help me or hurt me, but the husband and son seemed nice enough, and I wouldn't mind a job close to home that could help me build local professional connections. They said they would let me know something early next week. If I don't hear something, then I'll know that there really is something I am doing to screw up my interviews.

The end is in sight

One...more...exam. Then I'm done--at least until the Fall. This has been my busiest semester, and all I want is to lay around the house watching the soaps all summer. Ok, maybe not the soaps--I didn't even watch those when I was a SAHM. And last week when I was getting my nails done I caught part of Days of Our Lives (I think) and as best I could tell, someone with MPD was giving birth, with one of her personalities there to cheer her on. That was definitely a big reminder of why I don't watch soaps. But I'm sure I can find something equally mind-numbing to keep me occupied this summer.

Right now, I am only planning to work for the DA's office two days a week. Basically because that's all the child care I can afford for an unpaid position. I have interviewed for a few other jobs, but no luck and I don't really care.

On the child care front--after much kid juggling, we have hired a new nanny. I ran ads online and in the local paper and interviewed on Saturday. This time I went with the grandmotherly type. I'm a little wary of a younger girl after getting burned by the last one--and most of the younger ones weren't going to be available for after-school care in the fall anyway. Hopefully this lady will stick around. She was in her last position for 10 years.

Oh yeah--and I think I failed Con Law. Seriously. It was the hardest exam I have ever taken in law school, and the only law school exam where I truly didn't know the answers. It' not like I didn't prepare--I was in class, I read the assignments, and I spent 4 days prepping for the exam. I just didn't get the questions he was asking. (i.e. Tell me how the court cited Marbury v. Madison in the following 10 cases. First, I am not good with remembering cases with only the name and no further prompt. Second, umm, I don't remember. I just kept falling back on judicial review, but that seems a little obvious)

If I passed, it won't be pretty. If I failed--well I don't know what. That was con law 1, I am already a year behind with it because I transferred. It is only offered in the Spring, so if I have to re-take it, it would be in the last semester of my last year. So would I have to take Con Law 2 before I re-take Con Law 1.

In better news, my family law exam was today, and it was very straight forward and easy. If I can just survive PR tomorrow, I'll be home free (except for that whole failing con law thing).

I had no idea that there were states where you can't pump you're own gas.

Jeremy Richey's Blawg Crazy Law: I Will Pump You Up!

It's interesting that came across this post today. I was just telling DH that I wished there were still full service stations. He gets irritated with me because I will run the vehicles down to empty, and he is the one always stuck getting gas. I know this is very girly, but I don't like getting gas. You have to stand in the wind and it messes your hair up. I somehow always end up getting gas on my hands and smelling of eau de gasoline until I can wash my hands. I'm not about to set foot in a service station bathroom to wash and the instant hand sanitizers don't kill the smell. Thank God for pay at the pump. At least I no longer actually have to walk inside a gas station.

I'm really not an elitist--gas stations are just yucky, and if I could just drive in, let someone else fill 'er up, and go about my business, I'd be happy to.

Who knew you could do so much with Duct Tape?

Duct Tape's "Stuck at Prom" Scholarship Contest

All hell has officially broken loose

The nanny has apparently quit with no notice. Right in the middle of freakin' finals. So I have to study with three kids running around. And try to find a new nanny ASAP-which is seriously interfering with my study time.

To make matters worse, DH was informed by his boss yesterday that my schooling is causing him to be away from work too much. WTF??? Everyone that he works with is childless. I guess they got used to him having a stay at home wife who could deal with every detail of our children's lives. Apparently it hasn't occurred to them that had I gotten a job, he would have to attend to the kids just as much if not more than he does now. When something comes up, we look at who has the most important stuff going on, and the loser deals with the kid stuff. That is what parenting is. And its not like this happens weekly.

And the most infuriating thing, is that when he took this job, they touted how family friendly it was. They knew then that he was a parent. And quite frankly, if he wanted to be the type of man who put his career before his children, he could easily take a contract job that would pay 2-3 times what he is earning now.

I'm so glad to know that having children is not only impacting my own career, but also my husband's. This is a great world we live in, really. And his boss is just going to be soooo much happier when he realizes that DH is going to have to take off so that I can take my finals. One more week and then he won't have to deal with the kids for the rest of the summer. But the next week is going to be hell.

Another stinky interview

Today was my interview with the small firm. This is the first time that I have removed all references to my children from my resume (and conveniently deleted my college graduation date from my resume so as not to reveal my SAHM status). Things were going well, until they asked whey I live in [small suburban community]? My usual answers is because of the great schools. But of course, I couldn't say that because I'm trying to avoid the issue of my children. I think they could tell I was uncomfortable with the question--so of course they persisted. Was I married? Yes. Did I have children? Yes. How Many? I would prefer not to talk about my personal life.

Yes, that is the answer that I gave. I read in some career advice column that was the appropriate response to this line of questioning. Let me tell you now that it isn't. I could tell that my interviewers were completely taken aback by my response. Then they proceeded to tell me that having children was actually a benefit in family law, most of the (female) lawyers there had children, and that was not a concern. So then I had to backtrack and explain what an impediment my children have been in other interviews, and I revealed that I do indeed have three children.

I actual believe that they don't think my kids are a problem--but my trying to cover it up might be. The bigger problem is my internship with the DA's office and the child advocacy clinic placement that I have in the fall. They want someone who will continue through the next year. Something I would be willing to consider--especially if I thought there was the potential for long term employment, but not at the sacrifice of my other opportunities.

Then they asked when I could start. I told them as soon as finals were over, except that the following week I would have four days in which to complete a law review application and if possible I would like time to work on that. This apparently was my biggest mistake. They do not want someone on law review because it takes up too much time. Especially for someone who already has another internship, a clinic placement, and three kids. In fact they told me that the prospect of law review (which we don't even know if I'll make) is much more concerning to them than having kids. Arrrgghhhh! I just cannot make anyone happy--most firms want someone on law review.

Oh well. I guess we'll see what happens. The good news is that I really don't care if I get this job or not because I was looking forward to having three days a week off to hang out with my kiddos. But it seemed like a nice enough place if they do make an offer.

We lost our case

Our trial ad trial was Saturday and we lost to the Whiners. Sort of a hollow victory for them, though, since no one on the plaintiff's side has won this case yet. They didn't perform better than us, they just had the facts on their side.

We got critiqued by our jurors and two judges. Most of the comments were very helpful, but there was one young college student who must have been overcome by the power of criticizing a law student. She trashed all of us, but while she was doing it all of the other jurors were rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.

Mostly I'm just glad its over. Trial ad was a huge time suck and it was keeping me from paying enough attention to my other classes. Now I can settle in and start thinking seriously about finals.

In the meantime, I've also taken off from my externship until finals are over--so I probably won't have anything interesting to post in the next couple of weeks.

I have an interview

I have not yet found summer employment. I haven't been too worried about this because I will be working for the D.A.'s office and getting school credit--still something that actually pays would be nice, and anything I can add to my resume is a good thing.

So yesterday, the Career Services sent out a job opportunity with a small firm that focuses on family law, but does a little bit of everything. I sent my application out last night, and they emailed me today to set up an interview. That's a good thing, right???

Only two problems. They didn't sound too excited when I told them that I would need to continue working at the D.A.'s office to meet my credit hour requirements. And it pays exactly what I pay my sitter. So I wouldn't actually make any money--but at least I would break even--as opposed losing money as I am working for the D.A.'s office.

Anyway, I guess I'll go to the interview and see what happens. In the meantime, I'm just happy someone finally found me worthy of an interview!

I think the Whiners earned us some brownie points

We had our pre-trial conference today. The judge was ready to hear our arguments for our motions in limine. Of course we had to tell him that we were precluded from arguing our motion because the Whiners went to the prof. The judge asked them if they were prepared to argue against it. Of course they weren't. He was disappointed, because he liked our "creative lawyering" and he seemed a little miffed that the other side went around him and directly to the prof. Yea for us. He also sided with us on all our other arguments--probably more out of fairness than anything. He admitted that this case was weighted toward the defense and that we were wise to try to fight in pre-trial.

We were also informed that the Prof will be sitting in on our trial. There are 16 trial going at the same time--so I don't know if all of this has anything to do with us being selected.

Stupid Whiners

Our trial ad trial is this week, and our opponents went whining to the professor after they got our motions yesterday because they didn't like our strategy. Instead of fighting it in our pre-trial conference tomorrow with a judge, they went behind our backs and convinced the prof that what we were doing was unfair.

The case involves a kid getting hit by a car. It is very heavily weighted toward the defense, who is alleging that everybody else around was responsible instead of him. We wanted to limit his defense to fighting off his own negligence, so we brought motions in limine to prevent evidence of negligece of two other parties. The defense don't like it because the rules stipulate that we can't fight contributory negligence. The thing is, we aren't fighting contriutory negligence--we are simply stating that any negligence by a caregiver or parents is not imputable to the child to bar his recovery. They can still be contributorily negligent--it just doesn't matter. I even talked to the prof about this strategy before we went forward with it and he said it was ok, but he thought they would be able to fight it off. Apparently they don't want to fight, they just want to whine.

I'm still alive

As it turns out nobody was trying to poison me. She was actually more worried about the negative perception that I had of her. We had a nice lunch and talked about our kids and what we wanted to do after law school. Then, this afternoon, I talked to my professor. He just wanted to talk to me about the impact of the non-settlement on my grade, but wasn't at all worried about my in class comments. All that drama for nothing!

The Plot Thickens

I have been directed to contact my negotiations professor ASAP. I haven't been called in to explain myself since the 7th grade. Surely what I said in class wasn't that bad. The funny thing is that I never speak in class unless a direct question. It would be pretty darn ironic to be called out for the one time I actually did speak up.

On a happier note, I second chaired my first felony today. I did the prep work, but can't speak in court because I don't have my bar card yet. It was a bench trial, and there is a sticky legal issue, so the judge won't rule until Monday.

Very interesting...

Today I received an email from my negotiations opponent (the one that came down to a coin toss .) I figured that she pretty much hated me for popping off in class about "taking her down with me" and saying that she was going to be tough because she didn't care what grade she got.

So I'm guessing that she is either meeting me to poison me in retribution, or because she was genuinely shocked that I felt that way and wants to know why. Probably the more logical option is that she wants to know why I popped off. And now I feel bad, because I really didn't need to be so blunt--or at least not in front of the whole class.

I was once told that someday my alligator mouth would get my canary body in trouble. As it turns out, that prognosticator was right more often than I would like to admit. I do have a tendency to say what I think, no holds barred. I also have a tendency to sometimes say these things at less than appropriate moments. This may have been one of those times.

Anyway, I agreed to meet her on Thursday, so if you never again hear from me after that, you know that it was indeed a retribution poisoning.

We got a new baby!

Her name is Katie. I have been telling DH for a while now that I miss having a dog, but I wasn't really planning to do anything about it at least until school was out. So when we went to buy fish food yesterday, we had no intention of bringing home a puppy, but she's just so darn cute, how could we not? She is a shelter dog that is a lab mix. We bought her a crate and she is doing really well with it. We're a bit concerned because she is sleeping a lot. I don't know if I have ever had a puppy this small before, so I don't if its normal or not, but we already have a vet appointment .

I think she likes the kids and treats them like her dog sisters. If they are on the floor, she just curls up next to them and goes to sleep. She finally went into her crate of her own accord. We are trying to teach her that the crate is her "safe place" where the kids can't mess with her.

I know its insane to take on a dog right before finals and my trial ad trial, but so far she's been little trouble. Also, getting the kids a pet makes me feel less guilty about ignoring so much them while my study schedule amps up.

Ha! The coin toss worked out in my favor.

Today we had to report the results of our negotiations. Only my team and one other failed to settle. Our grades were based on the cumulative results of 6 coin tosses. For me, each head was worth a certain amount, and for my opponent each head cost her a certain amount. I got five out of six heads. I could have made a bit more if I had accepted her last settlement offer, but the coin toss really hurt her. The coin toss was done in front of the entire class, and they wanted to know why I hadn't settled. I told them that it was a matter of principle. I wasn't going to let her roll over me and "if I was going down I was taking her with me." Probably wasn't the most diplomatic thing I could have said, and I may have very well made my first law school enemy. I think half the class was rooting for me and the other half thought I was either crazy or just a bitch. The thing is, if she had tried at all we would have settled, she just refused to play the game. Oh well. We won't know where our coin toss put us in the rankings for two weeks. It will be interesting to see how it all turns out.

My grade now depends on a coin toss

My negotiation today did not go well. As predicted, my opponent only wanted to play hard-ball and wasn't willing to budge. Then she told me that she doesn't really care about her grades, she doesn't feel like competing with much younger students, and this class is just a game for her. Must be nice to blow $100K in law school tuition just for kicks. My children and my husband are giving up a lot for me to go to law school. I'm not doing it just for fun, and it frustrates me that someone else's apathy has so much impact on my grade. (The grades in this class are based on your negotiated settlement as compared to everyone else's, and thus your opponent's ranking will be inversely proportional to yours.)

So, in this negotiation, her first offer was $1 mil, mine was $15mil. She said that was not doable and that we might as well give up right then and there--this is 30 seconds in!!! I called her bluff and told her that was fine with me. Then she said that she could go to $3 mil., but that was her limit. I went down to $7.5 mil. and would have come down more. But she just said that she wouldn't budge and if I couldn't take $3 mil then negotiations were over and we might as well quit wasting time. I said ok, and she filled out the form that said we reached no agreement. She asked if I had calculated what I would get if we didn't reach a settlement and it came down to a coin toss. I told her that I had and I knew my options, but that I didn't know what her's were--and they were very likely not the same. She seemed surprised by this--apparently she hadn't considered that non-settlement could have different effects on us.

So now, our grade is literally left to a coin toss which will decide who wins the "litigation" since the case did not settle. Honestly, it probably would have been wiser for me to take the $3 mil. But I was not about to let her steamroll me and win. If my ranking is going to sink to the bottom because she refuses to play fair, then I am taking her with me. I'm just so irritated because she did not even try to actually work out an agreement.

To cheer myself up I bought new shoes. I've been looking for tall, pointy black heels forever because my tall rounded black heels hurt my feet. I finally found exactly what I wanted-and they were on sale!!!! Nothing like a few shopping -induced endorphins to make a sucky day better.

And I thought having to wear pantyhose to court was a pain...

U.K. lawyers build case against wigs

A little bit of everything

Thanks to an email from sitemeter, I noticed that my readership doubled this week (from 2 hits/day to 4, woo hoo!), which can only mean one thing-I've been linked by The Legal Underground. Now I feel guilty because I have been very lax about posting the past couple of weeks. And the link was to my big ol' whinefest.

If anybody cares, Ms. Whiner did not show up for scrapbook night, and I was not the only one who was glad about that. It turns out that she sort of invited herself. Then she called my friend W and asked if her 12 y.o. daughter could come. That was where W drew the line. As childish as scrapping is, it is adult time. We do it to get away from our kids and to have adult conversations which are often inappropriate for for a 12 y.o. So, our regular group got together, and we had a great time.

In other news, I haven't been posting lately because life has just been crazy. This was the first weekend in weeks that I have actually time to do some work around the house. Thankfully, my trial ad classes are done, but now I am prepping for the fake trial, and it is going to be a lot of work. I also have negotiations every week for my negotiations class, which is taking up a lot of time. When I registered, I was happy to have two performance-based classes that I would not have final exams in, but they are so time-intensive, I am beginning to reconsider that.

My negotiation last week went better than anticipated. My opponent did not try to play hard-ball as much as I thought he would, and everything went fairly smoothly. I think I did ok, and I imagine I will come out somewhere in the middle of the pack when we get our rankings on Friday. Meanwhile I have another negotiation on Tuesday. I am actually more afraid of this opponent than the last. She is older (maybe 60?), appears to be financially well-off, and I know that she refused to budge on her very first negotiation. I think she has little to lose and she will likely be tough.

Let the games begin...

So I finally got the result from the negotiation that I did a couple of weeks ago. This time I came in third. Yea me! I went from the bottom quarter in the class rankings to the top 20%. Our pairings for the next exercise were announced at the same time.

During class (on Friday), my new opponent emailed me and told me that he wanted to get together Saturday at 6. As if I am going to let him steamroll me right off the bat. I told him Saturday was out, Sunday was a maybe, and he needed to think about the rest of the week. We are meeting at 4:00 today (Sunday). I could have played hardball and pushed it further into the week, but that would only have screwed myself because the rest of my week is packed.

This negotiation is a lesbian "divorce" with a child custody issue thrown in. It is much more complicated and the grading scheme is more complex than in the past negotiations. And I don't think this opponent is going to be as easy to deal with as the last one. So I suppose that I should quit blogging and start preparing.

My Name is LC and I am a Scrapbooker

This is not really a fact that I share with the law school crowd. Too mom-ish. It sounds like a bunch of women acting like kids, playing with their stickers and paper. And it is, really. And it's fun. But the real reason I scrap is because once a month or so I get to go hang out with my friends. We complain about our husbands and our mothers, we compare what our kids are doing, we gossip incessantly.

There are three of us who usually get together and this weekend is our monthly scrap night. But one of the girls just told me that we will have a fourth this month. I wouldn't care, but this particular person (we'll call her Ms. Whiner), is a big downer. She has scrapped with us before and spends the entire time complaining about her life, her problems, and how she has no money (after she dropped $90 in the scrapbook store!) It totally ruins the point--for me anyway--of getting to have a fun night out with my friends.

So should I go this weekend or not? I've have a ton of spring break pics that need to be scrapped. And I think that my friends will think I'm intentionally avoiding Ms. Whiner if I don't go which just makes me look like a big "its her or me" whiney baby.

Oh, forgot to add that the last time we scrapped, I made Ms. Whiner cry when we were debating gay marriage. (No, she's not gay and had no personal reason for crying. She was against marriage "because the Bible says so"). That's why I like my law school friends--nobody cries when we debate a difference of opinion.

Stinky food guy is back

We had another lunch hour make up class today, and stinky food guy brought in another stinky sandwich. I guess he's not reading my blog.

In other news, I have the website blues. Although you can't tell it by the basic brown template of my blog, I actually run two websites, for my state and local mothers of twins group. We've been getting free web hosting for years now, but the company that has been providing it was sold, so now both groups have to cough up the cash to pay. They are both small sites, so hosting will cost less than $50/ year. I got my local club to agree without a problem. The state club, however, says they can't approve any spending with out a vote at the state convention, which is months away. The website will be gone by then, if they don't do something. I don't think the people making the decisions are tech savvy enough to get it. The state site is getting about 500 hits a month right now because everyone is downloading all of their forms for the convention. If that's suddenly gone its gonna be awfully hard to communicate with everyone in the state.

In addition to this mess, I inadvertently let my pointer domain expire on my local site (the .com version of the .org that is the actual site). Someone snatched it up, and have put up a site which bears our club name in three different places, but is just an ad-generating link machine. I've drafted a cease and desist based on common law trademark infringement, but its basically a hollow threat. From what I understand, and ICANN dispute starts at $1200. I can't file for an injunction, given that I am not licensed and don't want to do anything to keep myself from getting licensed. Our club has an annual budget of about $2500 and can't afford the ICANN dispute or the court costs and a real attorney. I guess worst case, we can sit on our rights for a year and half until I pass the bar and that can be my first pro bono case. At least we have put him on notice.

I'm scared of busses.

More specifically, I'm afraid of my children riding on busses. And all of them are going to have the opportunity within the next month. Its field trip season. Oldest DD is going to the Aquarium. I am so not comfortable with that. First, its the City. Its big. There are bad guys there. One teacher can't possible watch over 20 kids. Second, its the aquarium--what if she falls in the shark tank? Mostly, though, I am terrified of her riding a bus for 30 miles, over a 5 mile bridge to get to the city. It is talking all of my willpower to let her go, but I don't want to stunt her socially by not letting her. Also, I can't go with her. I have a final that morning--no getting around that. So I guess I am going to have to suck it up and let her go.

But it gets worse. That same week her gifted and talented class is also taking a field trip. Also to the City--but this time 60 miles away. I just don't think I can do it. But I could go on that trip--my finals will be done. But even if I go, I can't ride the bus with her--school rules. So will my kid be the class nerd if her mommy drives her to the field trip? Probably.

Now the very worst. My sweet babies, my four year old twins are scheduled for a field trip to the zoo. In the City. They are just so little, and four year olds are so wild. I really don't see how their teacher can keep up with them. I do know that a lot of parents will be going along on this trip. I have class on that day. Actually its my busiest day, and I have three classes. I am seriously considering skipping to go with them. I still can't ride the bus with them, but at least if I drive them, at four years old they don't have the social stigma that my 7 year old would have. For goodness' sake, they still ride in car seats, and they are supposed to ride on a bus that doesn't even have seat belts?

I know I'm neurotic. I just know that no one else will watch over my kids as carefully as I do--and they manage to find plenty of trouble under my watch. Also I have bad bus karma. I totaled my car on a school bus in high school (the kids on the bus were all fine). But I'm afraid my bad bus karma will come back to haunt me via my kids.

Too funny...
Law School Prison Blues
Thanks to Lawmom for sharing.

Just in case you are really, really bored...

The Grocery List Collection

I came across this little gem when, in an effort to become a bit more organized, I was searching for a master grocery list that I can just check off as I run out of stuff.

TGIF... and Spring Break!!!!!

This has been the week from hell. Thank God it is Spring Break, because I don't think I could keep going like this. I have pretty much seen my house long enough to sleep and shower and then it's back at it for another 14 hour day. (Gee, that sounds suspiciously like the life of a 1st year associate!) My plan was to come home and sleep for about a year. Ha! Oldest DD already has two friends over. I'm sure I will hear whispers of a sleepover soon. It's spring break for them too, and they're ready to party.

I can tell its spring because we are becoming the neighborhood hangout again. Last spring we built a giant wooden fort/swingset in the backyard that is part of the attraction. The rest of the reason is that I am the only mom on the block who won't let my kids out front unsupervised. So, if any of the kids on the block want to hang out with the kids at my house, they all end up at my house. It's ok--as long as I stay stocked up on juice boxes and snacks. I'd rather the kids be here where I know what is going on.

So my negotiation yesterday went ok.

I think I did pretty well, but then again that's what I thought last time and I blew. But this time I know that the other party left a lot of money on the table and that we settled for half of what my best prediction was. I feel a little guilty, though. My opponent was not a native English speaker. I'm not sure that she fully understood the assignment, and I have a hunch that she revealed information that she was not really supposed to reveal. (Each side had confidential information about bottom lines, etc). It's not much of a victory if it wasn't a fair fight. Then again, I still don't know if it was a victory at all.

Nothing exciting going on in the D.A.'s office. The capital murder that was supposed to start Monday got reset. No other trials went this week. I have happened to overhear some fascinating family law hearings. I just never imagined the ways in which people can screw up their lives. Since there was not much going on this week, I was charged with doing some civil discovery. Since the DA's office rarely handles civil cases, they aren't really familiar with how to do civil discovery. I have never done civil discovery either, but since I interned in civil court last summer and assisted with rulings on discovery matters, they decided I had enough experience to do the discovery. I guess we'll see if anything actually gets discovered!

How low is a low-ball offer?

I'm preparing for my 2d negotiation exercise. I'm meeting my "opponent" in about an hour. I'm nervous, I think because I screwed up last time. Out grade in this class depends upon the ranking of the settlement amount that we agree to. Last time I was in the bottom quarter. I'm going to have to play hardball this time. That's not usually a problem for me. If this were a true negotiation, I could do that and accept the consequences. But here, the true consequence is a bad grade (a failure to settle = bottom ranking), and I'm not willing to accept that consequence. We'll see what happens. It will probably be two weeks before I know anything.

I noticed today that one of my classmates had on a short denim skirt complimented by pink satin cowboy boots. Seriously. I love pink, and I'm all for a little bit of trendiness to add flair to an ensemble, but really, pink satin? This is a professional school training students for a professional career. Will any woman ever be taken seriously as a lawyer while wearing pink satin boots? I will admit that I bought my four-year olds pink suede boots for Christmas and the look perfectly adorable in them. But four-year adorability is not what one is looking for in a twenty-something professional.

Public Stonings Should be Reconsidered

Today was the true test of whether I am tough enough for criminal law. The D.A.'s office is preparing to go to trial next week for a capital murder of a four year old. Since I have two four year olds of my very own, I knew this would be a tough case for me. My first real exposure came today when I was asked to summarize the police reports to prepare for direct examinations. Reading the details of what this child's parents did to him was absolutely sickening.

Then I had to organize the autopsy photos into the order that they would be used for during the direct of the medical examiner.

It was bad. It was hard. But I did ok. I didn't cry until I was on my home this afternoon. I cried because there was nobody in the whole world that cared enough about this child to notice that he was literally being beaten to death. I cried because I never believed that anyone could be so cruel to another human being--especially an innocent child. I cried because what happened to this child was just as bad, and probably worse than what has happened in the high profile child killing cases that have been in the news, and yet this case has received no publicity that I have seen. And that makes me wonder if beating a child to death is so common that this horrendous, sickening case is not newsworthy.

So, I did cry, but not at work. I think that I have seen the worst (even the A.D.A. acknowledged that this is the worst case he has ever seen). I think that I can get past my emotions and help fight to get these SOB's in prison forever (since public stoning is not an option at this time). At least I know I did something good today. I did something for this little boy who no one cared about until he was dead. I can't imagine that helping a big corporation take over a little corporation would ever be as fulfilling--although I'm sure there would be fewer tears.

Never thought I'd feel bad for a drug dealer

Day 2 of my internship in the D.A.'s office. The assistant D.A. was entering a plea agreement against a guy charged w/ manufacture and possession. The guy came in with his wife, 7ish daughter and baby. The plea was for an 8 year deferred sentence w/ probation until he screwed up.But the judge upped the deferred sentence to 10 years, and added a mandatory 6 mo. jail sentence up front to begin immediately. The judge actually asked, "Sir, are you ready to go to jail today?" Seriously, who is ever going to answer "yes" to that question?

Now, right at that moment, I was thinking, "Way to go judge!" I mean being tough on the drug dealers isn't a bad thing. But a minute later I looked behind me and saw the guy holding his baby with tears in his eyes and his little girl was bawling. I didn't so much feel bad for him--he had committed the crime and was now paying for it--but I felt bad for his kids who also had to for their dad's crime. I guess I never really considered the impact on the criminal's family.

So, I'm trying to be a grown-up and its not working out very well

I am not a big drinker. If I drink anything at all, it is usually a girly mixed drink. And yet I realize that to be social--especially in field I am planning to enter--I must learn to drink something a little less fruity. At the prof's soiree last weekend I was offered wine. Knowing that I have never liked red wine, but I have been ok with very cheap and fruity white wines, I opted for the white. Although it was neither cheap nor especially fruity, it was ok. I noted that it was a pinot grigio (although I'm not sure of the winemaker), so that I would have something to spout off next time I had to order a drink. (I already suffered a rather embarrassing episode this summer when I went out for beers with fellow interns and the judge I was working for and I didn't have a clue what beer to order. )

So...today I was shopping in SuperTarget and happened down the wine aisle. Since I now had the name of a kind of wine I could stand, I thought I'd buy a bottle, so that hubby and I could experiment a little (with the wine, you sicko!) Now, even SuperTarger has about 10-15 varieties of pino grigios, so how else was I to decide but by the label? I picked one with a cute label, but noted that it had a screw-top, and even I know that good wine must be corked. But still, I don't even own a corkscrew and the label was cute--and it said it tasted just like biting into a fresh pear--so I decided to give it a try.

This stuff is terrible! Blech! I can barely stand to smell it, much less actually drink it. Maybe it was the screw top. Maybe I am still not a wine drinker. Maybe I should stick to bottled water at social events, because at 31 with a mortgage and three kids I am a grown-up whether or not I drink wine.

The Good, The Bad and The Beautiful

The Good
We did cross examinations in Trial Ad this week and my prof. (a federal judge) said that mine was the best of the class and that I was convincing as an experienced trial attorney.

The Bad
We got the rankings back on the negotiations that we did last week in Negotiations. I thought I did ok. I was wrong. I was 12 out of 16. I guess the good news is that if I can't settle my cases, I can take them to trial and make them wish they had settled instead of suffering my kick ass cross.

The Beautiful
Last evening, a professor invited the students from his class to a get together at his home. His house was amazing, the centerpiece the most grand private library I have ever seen. The library was two levels, with the upper looking down on the lower, and it had to be at least half the size of my entire 2700 sq. ft. home. Although the rest of the house was beautiful too, nothing could compare to the library.

The Curse Continues

Yesterday the car went kaput on DH when he was driving in to work. It's still under warranty, so the dealership towed it in, but they are not getting in any hurry diagnosing or fixing the problem. In the meantime, we are trying to manage on one car. This is not an easy task, since we live way out in the 'burbs and work/go to school in the city.

To make matters worse, the nanny called in sick today. That pretty much leaves me missing my morning classes and will take some rather inconvenient maneuvering so that I can take the car to my evening class tonight. DH will have to leave work early again. I'm sure that soon his boss is gong to decide that he is just making stuff up and there is no way that this many bad things could happen to one person. Also, if the nanny is still sick tomorrow, DH will have to deal with the kids because I have two classes that I absolutely can't miss.

I'm beginning to understand why law firms don't want to hire somebody with kids. I usually manage a pretty good balance of law school and home life, but for the past month all of the sickness (and now car troubles) are beating the crap out of us.

Onions and Pickles and Chicken, oh my

My PR class had a required make-up during the lunch hour today. Because its during lunch, we are free to bring lunch into the classroom. That's fine, I understand, ya gotta eat. But when you are in a room with 60 people, do you really need the smelliest stuff you can find?

The guy who sits next me had apparently just polished off what could only have been an onion sandwich, judging by the odious fumes still hanging in the air. To improve the situation, he next chowed down on an enormous dill pickle. Now we all got to enjoy onion + garlic. Just as this is all beginning to pass, the girl who sits in front of me bring in a chicken sandwich, and the room fills with the scent of chicken. For the record, chicken sandwiches only smell good to the person who are about to eat them.

For those of you (as if there are actually those (plural) who are reading this) who don't already know this, Don't Bring Smelly Food into Rooms Full Of People Who Are Not Also Eating Equally Smelly Food. A sandwich, piece of fruit, candy bar, even cookies (unless freshly banked and still aromatic) are all appropriate for a lunch time make-up. Smelly sandwiches, pickles, burnt popcorn (prior experience) are not.

Oh, and just to clear my conscience, DH and I once sneaked chicken nuggets and fries into a movie theater. 30 seconds later, we realized everyone around us could smell it and we felt really guilty and never did it again. It was very bad manners. (We won't even get into the legality/morals of sneaking food (or margaritas!) into theaters, lets just say that generally I don't have a big problem with it.)

I got an internship today

I have started to panic over my stinky grades and my prospects for a summer position, so last weekend I apend a good amount of time applying for both school year and summer jobs. By nine this morning, I got a call and had an interview scheduled for noon today. It is with the D.A.'s office, not where I live and not in the big city where my school is, but close to home.

Although, it's unpaid, this sounds like a really cool job. I will be working in the felony division, basically doing anything they can throw at me. They have encouraged me to try to get externship credit from my school and to try to get my 3d year bar card so that I can 2d chair--felony cases!! (They have already had students from other schools do this, I just have to get it approved through my school). I will actually have real responsibility and I'll get to be in court on a regular basis.

Also, all of the people there are really nice. They took me to lunch, and it wasn't so much an interview as just talking about what I was going to be doing. Very low key. And, having kids is no big deal--which has been my big problem to overcome lately.

The only cons are 1) not paid; and 2) it looks unlikely to turn into a full-time position because the office is small. But, I think the experience will definitely outweigh the cons, and I can find out if I really want to pursue a career in crim. law.

Apparently we forgot to leave a sacrifice to the God of Good Health

The pox continues. This morning oldest DD woke up at 5:30 crying because her ear hurt. A quick trip to the doc confirmed my suspicion of an ear infection.

Tonight, I was enjoying a bit of well-deserved down time watching My Date With Drew. Hubby pops in about halfway through, and after about five minutes he said "I think I'm getting another kidney stone." 30 seconds later he was writhing on the floow in pain. In about another minute, be was in the bathroom yakking his guts up because the pain was so severe. Having been through this before, I know there;s not much I can do. I brought him a pain pill and a glass of water, and he is now curled in the floor, a withered lump.

I have to honestly say that its hard to take this kidney stone thing seriously. I mean its just a teeny tiny little thing--I've seen them. I mean, for goodness' sake, I gave birth to three wriggly blobs that weighed up to eight pounds (two of them w/in two minutes of each other). DH points out that his parts don't dilate and efface. Still 8 lbs, v. 1/4 oz. It would be hard to take him seriously if he weren't so very obviously in pain. I have never seen anything knock my husband to his knees like this. Hopefully this passes soon, or this will be another very long night in a string of very long nights.

A lot of good my freakin ticket did me...

I got called on today in the class with the magic outline. One might think that this would be a good thing, having the golden ticket and all. But I got the one case in the whole freakin book that is not covered by the Outline. This book is a new edition, and apparently this particular case is not covered by the old editions.

Fortunately, I am a goody-goody and had read the case rather than depending on the Outline. Unfortunately, the prof is so accustomed to student magically spewing word for word what he wants to hear that he gets a little irritated when we don't. Here is how my day went...

"Ms. LC, can you tell us about Case?" I run down the facts, including that this is a habeas case, so P must have been in prison.

"Ms. LC, where is P" Umm, yeah--in prison 'cause this is a habeas case.

"Ms. LC, what did the Supremes do?" Dismissed, had no jurisdiction.

"Why no jurisdiction?" Congress can giveth and Congress can taketh away.

"Why can Congress take jurisdiction" Uhhhh, Article 3. At this point he looks at me like I am a complete moron.

"Where in Art. 3?" I dunno. He continues to stare at me like I am a moron, before finally getting the hint that I mean it when I say I don't know. Then he turns on the guy next to me (Mr H.). Mr. H also doesn't know, but manages to stall until he gets a helpful IM. Oh, duh. The Exceptions and Regulations clause. Why didn't I think of that? Prof goes on for a bit.

"Mr. H, where do we get statutes" Mr. H: I dunno.

"Ms. LC?" Uh, Congress passes them? I get the "well, duh, you're a moron look" again, and he moves to the guy on the other side of me who also cannot produce the exact answer prof wants, so prof rolls his eyes at all of us and gives some long nonsensical answer that I could not reproduce if my life depended on it.

Fortunately, the guy next to me asks a question that runs down the clock and gets us all off the hook.

I don't know what is up this semester. I have been called on in every class. Last semester I was called on once in all of my classes combined. Oh well, most of my profs are a bit more reasonable than this one. This felt like a reenactment of first year. ( Then again, this is a first year class, b/c I transferred the schedules between the two schools worked out so that I am taking a first year core class in the second semester of my second year. )

There is a pox upon my house

We had all just pretty much gotten over the stomach bug, when DD came down with the flu. All day Sunday, her temp kept going up, despoite all of my efforts to bring it down. When it hit 105.4, I gave in and took her to the ER. This is the second ER trip in two weeks! Fortunately, we went to the cmall local hospital and had a 1000 times better experience than we did at Big City Hospital a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, they did a flu test on her and put her on Tamiflu (which is ridiculously expensive, by the way).

So, Tuesday, as predicted, DD's twin starts showing the same symptoms. Knowing that I do not want to drag two sick kids out to the doctor's office, I asked them to call in a prescription for me. After all, her identical twin sister who exhibited identical symptoms had just been diagnosed, and we all know that the flu is highly contagious and has about a 2 day incubation period. The doc said no, they had to do a flu test on DD2. WTF? How big of a leap of logic does it take to figure out that she has the freakin flu?

On a happy note, DH sent me 2 dozen roses yesterday. They are lovely. Flowers are few and far between around her, so it was a nice surprise. He said it was a thank you for taking him to a hockey game last week. Maybe we should be going to more hockey games!

I have the golden ticket

A helpful 3L informed me of a "bible" for a particular class, and with a little help I managed to dig it up. Actually, it was publically available on a student organization's website the entire time. It is a 180 page outline of the entire class. Word. For. Word.

Apparently, the prof knows about this thing, hence no more open book exams. And yet, you can follow his lectures to the letter if you have the Bible. You'd think he would want to mix things up a bit, just to throw us off, but thus far there have been no curveballs. In fact, you can tell exactly who in the class has discovered this little treasure because their answers are always word for word what the outline says. You'd think Prof would get tired of exactly the same answer every year, but I guess he either doesn't know or doesn't care.

Although I feel somewhat guilty being in possession of someone else's outline, at this point I feel like I would be seriously disadvantaged if I didn't use it since most of the class knows about it by now. Still, its not very motivating to actually do the reading when you know all of the answers are right there in front of you.

Mothers

How do you break up with your mother?

I do not have a good relationship with either of my parents. I was unfortunate enough to be born to the two most self-centered people on the planet. Why two people so wrapped up in themselves ever chose to breed is beyond me. They called it quits when I was nine, only to subject my brother and I to and endless stream of equally self-centered, alcoholic and abusive spouses. Of course, it never crossed their minds to consider how this parade might be affecting their children. Now that I am an adult, I am not held hostage to my parents mistakes as I was as a child, and yet the need for parents who actually care is still there.

My mother has let me down in two huge ways over the last six months. As a child, I would have expected this, but now that I'm a mom myself, I simply can't fathom doing to my children what she has done to me. And so against my better judgment, and upon the advice of DH, I gave her those two chances, only to be devestatingly let down.

Since then I have been doing my best to avoid her. The 350 mile gap between us has made it easier, but I think she recently realized that I was pissed and has been calling. She finally managed to catch me today. I told her that I didn't want to speak with her, and she pushed for an explanation. When I finally gave one, she basically lied, claiming ignorance to one situation, and changing the facts of the other to fit her own perception. She is beyond taking responsibility for anything. She said to me, "you are under a huge amount of stress, with school and sick kids." No shit. All the more reason that I don't need to be dealing with her anymore. The problem is that she will continue to call and act as if nothing is wrong, and if I tell her that everything is still wrong, then she will make it my fault. And it's not. I'm beyond taking the blame. My parents can't screw up my life anymore. So, how do you break up with your self-centered, fault-shifting, pretend everything is hunky-dory mother?