I signed up all three girls to play in the church's recreational soccer league. The twins wanted to play with their BFF whose dad is also the coach. It turned out that PS is in the same division, but she did not want to play with her sisters, so we asked that we put her on a different team.
We got an email from the twins' coach telling us all about practice times and when we would be starting. But not a peep from PS's coach. Turned out there was no coach. So the church sent out an email saying, "there's no coach, we need a coach so the girls can start practicing, figure it out." And nobody responded.
So, in a moment of pure insanity, I emailed the sports coordinator and told her that I could help out with the team.And now I am a soccer coach.
Brilliant, since I have never played soccer. Everyone who knows me finds it pretty hilarious that I am taking this on. I'm not athletic. at. all. I'm the girl who got stress fractures in both ankles just from running. And I've broken and sprained both ankles on other occasions, broken both arms on separate occasions, broken ribs, and had multiple broken toes. Grace and coordination are not my virtues.
And it gets better. This is the church league. It's supposed to be a ministry. You're supposed to preach to the kids. And I'm an atheist. Oh boy. I think I need the intervention of a higher power right about now.
But now I have a polyester coach's shirt (ick!), a matching visor (double ick!) and a whistle (yay!), so I guess I'm all set. And I went and bought "Soccer for Dummies" last night.
What the heck was I thinking? I don't like other people's kids, I don't know how to play soccer, and I don't have an excess vat of time hiding out somewhere. I'm pretty sure I've lost my mind.