There has been a lot of chatter this week in the blawgosphere about what makes one rich. Of course, there's no easy answer. It all depends on experience, perspective, where you've been, where you want to go and where you live.
The short answer to "am I rich?" is no. But that's based on my current perspective. When I was a kid, I would have thought that someone in my position was "rich." Of course, when I was a kid, anyone who lived in a brick house was rich. I lived in an 1000 sq. ft. asbestos-sided house with a swamp cooler (no central air).
In 1993--the year I graduated from high school--my mom earned $17,000 per year. According to this calculator, that's about $26,000 in today's dollars.
We never had any government assistance, but there were plenty of times we were "charging" our school lunches until the next payday, or digging in the couch cushions to find enough change for milk (or mixing up powdered milk-ewwwww!), or eating pancakes for dinner (with powdered sugar because we didn't have syrup) because that's all we had in the house.
So compared to when I was a kid, yeah, we're pretty darn rich. And there are plenty of people in this country who still live the lifestyle I had as a kid, and I guarantee that they would view us as rich.
And compared to them, we are rich. Our annual income is many multiples of what my mom was making back then. We've never had a utility turned off or not had enough food in the house. My kids don't even know what powdered milk is. They've never been told that they can't participate in a school activity because we can't afford it.
And more than that, they have all the right "stuff." The clothes the other kids are wearing, the gadgets the other kids have. I'll admit that PS got a cell phone when she turned 10 not because she needed one, but because everyone else had one. I remember being the only kid who didn't have the new "in" thing,or the right shoes, or the Guess jeans. I don't want my kids to be those kids--but I also want them to appreciate what they have. (PS bought her iPod touch with her own money--I won't spend $200 on a gadget for a kid. And she won't be getting a iPhone until she has a job and can pay for the data plan, even though many of her classmates have them.)
But in the great grand scheme, no we aren't rich. I don't work in Big Law and don't earn the corresponding salary--but I'm also well above government and public service salaries. DH also earns a professional salary. But of course, we have the massive debt associated with putting ourselves through school. Our student loan payments exceed our mortgage. Right now we are comfortable--without the student loan debt we would be very comfortable.
Our mortgage payment is small fraction of our monthly income. Our house is a 2800 sq. ft. two-story brick home. I know that is massive in some parts of the country, but it is pretty average here. We live in an average middle-class neighborhood.
Our splurges are two-new cars. Mine was a necessity because the tranny went out on my 9-year old Suburban. I drive a Nissan Armada with plenty of bells and whistles and I LOVE it. I have no desire to ever have a luxury vehicle. DH drives a Honda CRV which neither of us love, but it gets great gas mileage and he has a long commute.
Our other splurge is a nanny/housekeeper. The nanny because I want my kids to be in their own home after school, and so that they have someone to drive them to ther after-school activities. (I'm not sure this is really a splurge--with 3 kids, the nanny/housekeeper costs less than day care.) The housekeeper because I hate cleaning house, and I'd rather spend my weekends playing with my kids than scrubbing toilets.
We do not own a flat screen TV, a second house, or a boat. (All of which we would like one day.)
I never had vacations as a kid, so we try to take some kind of vacation every year, but usually it involves renting a cabin somewhere. Neither DH nor I have ever left the country. Our Disney trip last year was a big splurge. Our upcoming cruise is a much-smaller splurge.
We've started saving for retirement and our kids' college, but we have a long way to go. I don't want my kids to start out their lives in debt like we have.
So I guess, to consider myself rich at this point, we would have to pay off our student loan debt. Have the kids' college funds funded. Be able to take a big vacation every year without considering it a splurge. Get the flat-screen TV, the second home and the boat.
And being able to walk into Barnes and Noble and buy anything that I want without even thinking about it. That, to me, is the greatest luxury.
9/26/10
9/25/10
Internal alarm
Every morning for the last week or so I have awakened at exactly 5:33. Weird. I have absolutely no reason to be up at 5:33. Even on school days, I don't need to get up until 6:15. And today is Saturday.
This morning, like most mornings, I woke up thinking about work. How sad does that make my life? I've always tended to work out problems in my sleep, and sometimes I wake up with the perfect solution to my problem. Sometimes I wake up thinking that I have screwed something up (most of the time I have not).
This morning I work up thinking about how I am going to defend a particular client. I don't like my planned defense, but so far I haven't come up with anything better. If I'm going to be dreaming about work anyway, this would be a good time to come up with the perfect solution.
This morning, like most mornings, I woke up thinking about work. How sad does that make my life? I've always tended to work out problems in my sleep, and sometimes I wake up with the perfect solution to my problem. Sometimes I wake up thinking that I have screwed something up (most of the time I have not).
This morning I work up thinking about how I am going to defend a particular client. I don't like my planned defense, but so far I haven't come up with anything better. If I'm going to be dreaming about work anyway, this would be a good time to come up with the perfect solution.
9/23/10
Can you revoke a birthday party invitation?
PS's birthday party is Saturday. We sent out invitations a week and a half ago and asked for a response by yesterday. Of the 9 girls invited, 5 have said yes, 2 have said no, and 2 don't know yet.
WTF? What do you mean you don't know yet? Either you're coming or you're not. This party is in TWO days. And I asked for a response by yesterday.
It's a scavenger-hunt-type race around town. We will load up the girls into our two cars and run them all over town while they accomplish the tasks required by their clues. I need to know how many kids are going to be there because if it is more than will fit in our cars, I will need to have the nanny stay home with the twins. But if only the 5 who have confirmed show up, then we can include the twins and divide into two teams of 4, which works out perfectly. Argh--I hate making the nanny hold open her Saturday because people can't make up their minds. Not to mention I'm trying to plan for enough food and party favors.
WTF? What do you mean you don't know yet? Either you're coming or you're not. This party is in TWO days. And I asked for a response by yesterday.
It's a scavenger-hunt-type race around town. We will load up the girls into our two cars and run them all over town while they accomplish the tasks required by their clues. I need to know how many kids are going to be there because if it is more than will fit in our cars, I will need to have the nanny stay home with the twins. But if only the 5 who have confirmed show up, then we can include the twins and divide into two teams of 4, which works out perfectly. Argh--I hate making the nanny hold open her Saturday because people can't make up their minds. Not to mention I'm trying to plan for enough food and party favors.
9/20/10
Long day
Rushed this morning because PS was pokey and then had about 5 minutes to blow dry her hair before her television debut on her school's morning news program.
I got to work to find two inches of coffee left in the pot, so I started new pot of coffee. Forgot to put pot in place. A stream of coffee started pouring directly onto the burner. I shoved the coffee pot under the stream of pouring coffee. Couldn't set it down in the coffee puddle--afraid the glass would break. Couldn't find an emergency shut-off and the more I wiggled the more coffee I spilled. Ended up holding the pot until the coffee finished. Cleaned up giant mess. Miraculously no one saw this.
Busy day culminating in a client meeting at 4:00. I left the office as soon as the meeting over and headed straight to PS's first cheerleading event. Finally made it home at 10:00 at which point I found out that she has to wear her uniform again tomorrow, so I start a load of laundry because she is a sweaty mess.
I intended to do a quick research project that a partner asked for this morning, but the choose-you-own-adventure that is UCC article 9 evades me and I give up and settle in with a glass of wine to watch How I Met Your Mother and Weeds on the DVR.
Tired. Should go to bed. Have a doc appointment at 8:00 in the morning to confirm my feet are no longer broken (they do not feel or act broken anymore).
I got to work to find two inches of coffee left in the pot, so I started new pot of coffee. Forgot to put pot in place. A stream of coffee started pouring directly onto the burner. I shoved the coffee pot under the stream of pouring coffee. Couldn't set it down in the coffee puddle--afraid the glass would break. Couldn't find an emergency shut-off and the more I wiggled the more coffee I spilled. Ended up holding the pot until the coffee finished. Cleaned up giant mess. Miraculously no one saw this.
Busy day culminating in a client meeting at 4:00. I left the office as soon as the meeting over and headed straight to PS's first cheerleading event. Finally made it home at 10:00 at which point I found out that she has to wear her uniform again tomorrow, so I start a load of laundry because she is a sweaty mess.
I intended to do a quick research project that a partner asked for this morning, but the choose-you-own-adventure that is UCC article 9 evades me and I give up and settle in with a glass of wine to watch How I Met Your Mother and Weeds on the DVR.
Tired. Should go to bed. Have a doc appointment at 8:00 in the morning to confirm my feet are no longer broken (they do not feel or act broken anymore).
9/18/10
Updates
So I was checking out my Blogroll and realized that the two lawyer blogs I had linked were both out of commission now, and all of the law students linked are now lawyers. Obviously time for an update.
So I added the blogs in my reader and then stole Butterflyfish's MILP roll.
If you are not on the list and would like to be, please leave a comment or email me at legallycertifiable at gmail dot com.
There is one blogger I intentionally left off because she changed blogs and I don't know if she wants to be linked or is trying to maintain a low profile. It that's you, let me know if you want to be linked.
So I added the blogs in my reader and then stole Butterflyfish's MILP roll.
If you are not on the list and would like to be, please leave a comment or email me at legallycertifiable at gmail dot com.
There is one blogger I intentionally left off because she changed blogs and I don't know if she wants to be linked or is trying to maintain a low profile. It that's you, let me know if you want to be linked.
Girls Weekend
DH left last night to visit his dad for the weekend. He's going to help with cleaning some of MIL's thing out, since we think that might be contributing to FIL's depression. It seems like FIL is getting better, but there were a couple of really rocky weeks and I'm sure he will be up and down for a while.
So, its just me and the girls. We went to dinner last night and then spent an hour wondering around Target. They wanted to check out the Halloween stuff, and it gave me an excuse to go looking for a wrap, per Dinei's suggestion. They usually hate shopping (except SS), but we all had fun.
We found a collection of colorful, skull partyware that isn't too Halloween-ey and perfect for PS's party next week. (She has a thing for skulls.) We even got a string of super-cute colorful skeleton lights that she can hang in her room after the party. (She doesn't know it yet, but her b-day gift is re-doing her room. I've ordered this bedding and this chair.)
BTW, I need to come up with prizes for the winners of PS's scavenger hunt party. Not too pricey, since there could be as many as five girls on a team. And I need a consolation prize(or as PS said, the loser prize)--because I don't want the non-winning team to be too bummed out. Or maybe just something for all the girls, with something small to set off the winners. Hmmm. Any suggestions? I've been wracking my brain for a week and haven't come up with anything.
Not sure what we're doing with the rest of our weekend. I woke up feeling kind of crappy, but hopefully it will pass and we can do something fun.
So, its just me and the girls. We went to dinner last night and then spent an hour wondering around Target. They wanted to check out the Halloween stuff, and it gave me an excuse to go looking for a wrap, per Dinei's suggestion. They usually hate shopping (except SS), but we all had fun.
We found a collection of colorful, skull partyware that isn't too Halloween-ey and perfect for PS's party next week. (She has a thing for skulls.) We even got a string of super-cute colorful skeleton lights that she can hang in her room after the party. (She doesn't know it yet, but her b-day gift is re-doing her room. I've ordered this bedding and this chair.)
BTW, I need to come up with prizes for the winners of PS's scavenger hunt party. Not too pricey, since there could be as many as five girls on a team. And I need a consolation prize(or as PS said, the loser prize)--because I don't want the non-winning team to be too bummed out. Or maybe just something for all the girls, with something small to set off the winners. Hmmm. Any suggestions? I've been wracking my brain for a week and haven't come up with anything.
Not sure what we're doing with the rest of our weekend. I woke up feeling kind of crappy, but hopefully it will pass and we can do something fun.
9/16/10
Fashion Advice Please
We've been invited to a Russian Jewish wedding in a couple of weeks. I've never been to a Jewish wedding. Or a Russian wedding. Or a catered wedding. (Every single wedding I have ever attended has had a simple desert reception.)
The wedding is on a Saturday evening in an upscale hotel. We've already made reservations to spend the night, just in case we try to keep up with the Russians during the reception. Apparently the thing about Russians and vodka isn't just a stereotype.
So I've ordered this dress. Is this appropriate for this type of wedding? Am I committing any major faux pas? I know that at a Catholic church wedding, for instance, this dress would not be appropriate because of the bare shoulders--but that would only apply in a church, I think.
Anything else we need to know so that we don't embarrass ourselves? We do not have a large Jewish community here, and we just aren't familiar with Jewish customs.
I'm so excited about the event. I don't know the couple well--the groom is one of DH's work buddies--but it will be a fun date night and a new cultural experience. And I do like vodka.
The wedding is on a Saturday evening in an upscale hotel. We've already made reservations to spend the night, just in case we try to keep up with the Russians during the reception. Apparently the thing about Russians and vodka isn't just a stereotype.
So I've ordered this dress. Is this appropriate for this type of wedding? Am I committing any major faux pas? I know that at a Catholic church wedding, for instance, this dress would not be appropriate because of the bare shoulders--but that would only apply in a church, I think.
Anything else we need to know so that we don't embarrass ourselves? We do not have a large Jewish community here, and we just aren't familiar with Jewish customs.
I'm so excited about the event. I don't know the couple well--the groom is one of DH's work buddies--but it will be a fun date night and a new cultural experience. And I do like vodka.
9/15/10
PS
Despite my fears, PS seems to be doing really well with middle school. There are so many opportunities, and the school seems so much better organized than our elementary school. She tried out this week for an anchor position on her school's daily news program and made the cut despite tons of applicants. Woot! She is so quiet and timid that I was afraid she would get nervous and blow the audition, but I guess she brought her game. Hopefully this will help her come out of her shell a little bit. And today she got her school-issued laptop, which she is totally psyched about.
Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. She informed me that 12 is a big year and that we should do something big. We are doing a scavenger hunt/amazing race type party followed by a sleepover. We're dividing the girls into teams and they have to solve riddles to go find things or take pictures doing silly things around town, like the chicken dance in front of the local fried chicken place. I've had so much fun making the clues for our race--I think this is going to be a great party.
She's also created a birthday wish list that includes a few video games, an itunes gift card and a laptop (new, not hand-me-down, with internet). Yeah, no chance in heck she's getting the laptop. We have 5 household computers of various ages, and she has her school computer. I don't want her to have internet on a laptop that she can take in her room. (I also won't let the kids have televisions in their rooms.) But I think she knew it was a long shot, and doesn't seem too bothered by my assurance that she won't be getting a computer.
She also has her first dance coming up. I think I'm more excited than she is. But it is the same night as a wedding that we are attending. So we won't be here for her first dance! I am so bummed about this. But maybe we can go get our nails done or something that morning and then she can get ready at a friends house.
So much going on, but it's all good. I'm so happy for her, because I was worried about how she would make the adjustment, but no problems so far!
Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. She informed me that 12 is a big year and that we should do something big. We are doing a scavenger hunt/amazing race type party followed by a sleepover. We're dividing the girls into teams and they have to solve riddles to go find things or take pictures doing silly things around town, like the chicken dance in front of the local fried chicken place. I've had so much fun making the clues for our race--I think this is going to be a great party.
She's also created a birthday wish list that includes a few video games, an itunes gift card and a laptop (new, not hand-me-down, with internet). Yeah, no chance in heck she's getting the laptop. We have 5 household computers of various ages, and she has her school computer. I don't want her to have internet on a laptop that she can take in her room. (I also won't let the kids have televisions in their rooms.) But I think she knew it was a long shot, and doesn't seem too bothered by my assurance that she won't be getting a computer.
She also has her first dance coming up. I think I'm more excited than she is. But it is the same night as a wedding that we are attending. So we won't be here for her first dance! I am so bummed about this. But maybe we can go get our nails done or something that morning and then she can get ready at a friends house.
So much going on, but it's all good. I'm so happy for her, because I was worried about how she would make the adjustment, but no problems so far!
9/7/10
Really???
When I was on my way to the office (don't worry, I was at a stoplight) an email popped up informing me that my secretary wouldn't be in until the afternoon because her dog was sick. Seriously, you say? Your secretary called in because her dog was sick? Oh yes, and it is not the first time. Two weeks ago she called in and missed the entire day because her dog had diarrhea.
O.M.G. Some seriously bad words came out of my mouth when I read that email. You see, my secretary has not been present for an entire 40 hour week in at least the last 6 weeks. Twice she has overslept. About 5 times she has called in because she just didn't sleep the night before and was going to try to get some rest. Another time it was allergies. Oh, and she was throwing up one Monday because she "got too much sun" the weekend before (when she just happened to be out of town attending her high school reunion). Yeah, right.
So I was pissed this morning. Because my secretary had gone around me and asked the office manager if she could leave early last Friday. So all the crap I gave her on Friday got shoved in her inbox, and then she wasn't there to deal with everything I needed sent out today, so I had to go plead with the other secretaries (who are sick of picking up her slack) to take care of my projects.
She finally did show up this afternoon and was in a royally pissy mood. A paralegal was helping me index an upcoming document production, and I instructed to paralegal to use my secretary so that she could finish up as quickly as possible. Secretary informed Paralegal that she "might not have time to get to it." Bullshit. I had already handed all of her projects off to other legal assistants and I checked in with the associate with whom I share Secretary to confirm that she wasn't overloaded. So I specifically instructed her that this project was top priority, and once I intervened, she managed to actually help out but was none too happy about it.
I am just about ready to pull my hair out at this point. Until recently she has done a good job and had good work product. But lately her work product is slipping, she complains constantly, she tries to wiggle out of work and the unreliability is insane. I have never in my adult life overslept for a job. Or called in because I was just too tired. And I sure as hell didn't call in because one of my animals was sick.
I've talked to her and so has our office admin. At this point I think she is trying to get fired so that she can collect unemployment. But my firm hates trying to hire new people, and therefore nobody ever gets fired. We have another secretary who is rude and hateful and a miserable person to be around (even to Big Boss) and she is still around. (She has been on vacation for the last week and it has been so quiet and peaceful!)
The funny thing is that my firm has the nicest lawyers of any firm I have ever been in. There are no major assholes. I guess you have to have some crazy somewhere in an office--but in a law firm you usually expect it to be the lawyers, not the staff.
O.M.G. Some seriously bad words came out of my mouth when I read that email. You see, my secretary has not been present for an entire 40 hour week in at least the last 6 weeks. Twice she has overslept. About 5 times she has called in because she just didn't sleep the night before and was going to try to get some rest. Another time it was allergies. Oh, and she was throwing up one Monday because she "got too much sun" the weekend before (when she just happened to be out of town attending her high school reunion). Yeah, right.
So I was pissed this morning. Because my secretary had gone around me and asked the office manager if she could leave early last Friday. So all the crap I gave her on Friday got shoved in her inbox, and then she wasn't there to deal with everything I needed sent out today, so I had to go plead with the other secretaries (who are sick of picking up her slack) to take care of my projects.
She finally did show up this afternoon and was in a royally pissy mood. A paralegal was helping me index an upcoming document production, and I instructed to paralegal to use my secretary so that she could finish up as quickly as possible. Secretary informed Paralegal that she "might not have time to get to it." Bullshit. I had already handed all of her projects off to other legal assistants and I checked in with the associate with whom I share Secretary to confirm that she wasn't overloaded. So I specifically instructed her that this project was top priority, and once I intervened, she managed to actually help out but was none too happy about it.
I am just about ready to pull my hair out at this point. Until recently she has done a good job and had good work product. But lately her work product is slipping, she complains constantly, she tries to wiggle out of work and the unreliability is insane. I have never in my adult life overslept for a job. Or called in because I was just too tired. And I sure as hell didn't call in because one of my animals was sick.
I've talked to her and so has our office admin. At this point I think she is trying to get fired so that she can collect unemployment. But my firm hates trying to hire new people, and therefore nobody ever gets fired. We have another secretary who is rude and hateful and a miserable person to be around (even to Big Boss) and she is still around. (She has been on vacation for the last week and it has been so quiet and peaceful!)
The funny thing is that my firm has the nicest lawyers of any firm I have ever been in. There are no major assholes. I guess you have to have some crazy somewhere in an office--but in a law firm you usually expect it to be the lawyers, not the staff.
9/6/10
Oooohhhhhhh
Yesterday we did an 8-mile float trip. The canoe outfitter said it would take 3 to 3.5 hours. It took 6. The river was completely flat, if we weren't rowing we weren't moving. And then the wind started blowing upstream. So if we weren't rowing, we were moving backward. So we were pretty much rowing the entire time. DH in one canoe, me in the other. We did not pack enough water and all thought we were going to die by the time it was over. (I don't know how we managed that, we usually pack way more than we need.) And SS and I passed right by two enormous floating turtle corpses that have left us both scarred for life--and me wondering what the heck is going on that is killing the turtles. We also rescued a two-foot catfish that had been caught in a line hanging from a tree with no fisherman in sight. We fish, but leaving an unattended line with a fish struggling for hours just seems inhumane to me. So we cut it free.
We finished out our day by catching a double feature of the newest Shrek and Toy Story movies at the drive-in theater. The weather was perfect and it was a nice way to finish out our day, but boy were we pooped. The movies didn't end until after midnight and we still had a 1.5 hour drive home. It was two before we finally made it to bed. We are never, ever out that late. I'm usually dragging well before midnight.
Today I don't think there is a part of my body that doesn't hurt. And I have random sunburned areas, where I missed putting sunscreen. Like my cleavage and the top of one foot and my ears. Nothing says fun like sunburned cleavage.
We finished out our day by catching a double feature of the newest Shrek and Toy Story movies at the drive-in theater. The weather was perfect and it was a nice way to finish out our day, but boy were we pooped. The movies didn't end until after midnight and we still had a 1.5 hour drive home. It was two before we finally made it to bed. We are never, ever out that late. I'm usually dragging well before midnight.
Today I don't think there is a part of my body that doesn't hurt. And I have random sunburned areas, where I missed putting sunscreen. Like my cleavage and the top of one foot and my ears. Nothing says fun like sunburned cleavage.
9/1/10
Homework
Two of PS's teachers have taken it upon themselves to assign parents "homework"--an essay about their students. This bugs the shit out of me. I have a job. I work about 10 hours a day. I spend at least an hour and a half every day commuting. When I come home I want to spend time with my kids. And when they go to bed I want to spend an hour watching tv or mindlessly surfing the internet before I collapse into bed. That is, when I get home early enough to do these things. I am excessively busy this week and have had lots of late nights and working from home. I do not want to write an essay. I spend all freaking day writing. And I have 20 years of schooling--I don't need any more fucking homework.
Hahaha--now I just got the irony of my writing on my blog while I bitch about having to write. But it's not the same. My blog is stream-of-consciousness writing. Half the time it probably makes no sense to anyone but me. I don't proofread (I'm sure you've caught that if you have ever read my blog before--DH is forever pointing out my typos). I don't take any particular effort to structure comprehensible sentences and paragraphs.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I excessively irritated about this?
For the record, I did do the fucking assignment. But I am biting my tongue to keep from adding a snarky footnote about what a PITA it is. Maybe I should call my brother. He's a middle-school teacher and would have no trouble telling me that I am just being bitchy.
Hahaha--now I just got the irony of my writing on my blog while I bitch about having to write. But it's not the same. My blog is stream-of-consciousness writing. Half the time it probably makes no sense to anyone but me. I don't proofread (I'm sure you've caught that if you have ever read my blog before--DH is forever pointing out my typos). I don't take any particular effort to structure comprehensible sentences and paragraphs.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I excessively irritated about this?
For the record, I did do the fucking assignment. But I am biting my tongue to keep from adding a snarky footnote about what a PITA it is. Maybe I should call my brother. He's a middle-school teacher and would have no trouble telling me that I am just being bitchy.
8/30/10
Definitely Monday
Spent a good hunk of my weekend doing doc review. I was supposed to finish up a very long memo for a meeting with Big Boss this afternoon, but it just didn't happen. So I got up early this morning so I could get in extra early and try to finish the memo. But traffic was a disaster and at least four different cars tried to run me off the road. Finally made it in just a little early.
So I closed my office door so I could finish up my memo before Big Boss arrived. And every five seconds someone knocked on my door with some inane question. I snapped at Big Boss' secretary who takes all of his crap and sticks it in my inbox so that my secretary has to distribute the filing instead of her. Probably should have handled it more diplomatically.
Never did finish up the memo, but it was mostly just polish left. Big Boss seemed satisfied with his cursory review, and he gave me a new assignment for another long, complex memo. And then I went back to work on my doc review. Because despite the fact that it has been handed off to another associate, he refuses to work on it if I am not in there. And it's my ass on the line if it doesn't get turned around ASAP. Grumble.
Brought home two boxes, but I'm so tired I can't bring myself to open them.
New nanny started today, and everything went mostly ok. But she forgot to mention during the interview process that she was going to be out of town the week of Thanksgiving. It wouldn't have affected our decision to hire her, but it would have been nice if she had been more up front about it.
And I notified my other nanny candidate that we had offered the position to someone else. She sent back a smart-ass response, griping about how bad the economy is. Looks like we made the right decision. I really liked her after our initial interview, but she seemed to get a little flaky after that. Glad we were thorough with the interview process.
And then SIL just called to update us on FIL. It's not good. He's been seeing a counselor and is being treated for depression. Despite his assurances a few months ago that he had done his grieving, he is finally acknowledging that everything is not ok. He's been missing work and sleeping all day. It's bad enough that DH just called his sister back and told her to go get FIL's guns. Oh, and MIL's birthday is Thursday. Looks like we may be visiting Hometown this weekend.
So I closed my office door so I could finish up my memo before Big Boss arrived. And every five seconds someone knocked on my door with some inane question. I snapped at Big Boss' secretary who takes all of his crap and sticks it in my inbox so that my secretary has to distribute the filing instead of her. Probably should have handled it more diplomatically.
Never did finish up the memo, but it was mostly just polish left. Big Boss seemed satisfied with his cursory review, and he gave me a new assignment for another long, complex memo. And then I went back to work on my doc review. Because despite the fact that it has been handed off to another associate, he refuses to work on it if I am not in there. And it's my ass on the line if it doesn't get turned around ASAP. Grumble.
Brought home two boxes, but I'm so tired I can't bring myself to open them.
New nanny started today, and everything went mostly ok. But she forgot to mention during the interview process that she was going to be out of town the week of Thanksgiving. It wouldn't have affected our decision to hire her, but it would have been nice if she had been more up front about it.
And I notified my other nanny candidate that we had offered the position to someone else. She sent back a smart-ass response, griping about how bad the economy is. Looks like we made the right decision. I really liked her after our initial interview, but she seemed to get a little flaky after that. Glad we were thorough with the interview process.
And then SIL just called to update us on FIL. It's not good. He's been seeing a counselor and is being treated for depression. Despite his assurances a few months ago that he had done his grieving, he is finally acknowledging that everything is not ok. He's been missing work and sleeping all day. It's bad enough that DH just called his sister back and told her to go get FIL's guns. Oh, and MIL's birthday is Thursday. Looks like we may be visiting Hometown this weekend.
8/26/10
TGI almost F
This week has been insane. Three of my bigger cases have all decided to explode at once. I was just surprised with 90 boxes of documents that need to be reviewed within the next week. And to make doc review even more fun, they are nasty, rotten, moldy boxes. Literally, huge globs of black mold growing on some of the documents. Ah, the glamorous life of a lawyer. And while I was enduring all of this fun, Big Boss was frantically calling me to arrange an emergency meeting involving several parties in another case while he was stuck in meetings all morning. My phone range off the wall all freakin' day.
In other news, I've hired a new nanny, contingent upon a successful test-drive on Saturday morning. I always leave the girls with a new nanny for a couple of hours while DH and I hang out somewhere nearby before I make a final offer. She is a senior in high school, but she seems very mature, and will hopefully be just what we need for this 3-hour per day school-year position. Whew--one big to-do off my list.
But there is no way in heck I could leave my girls with a teenager for a week while we cruise the Caribbean--so it looks like we will be making some changes to our cruising plan. The only way we can go is if we take the kids with us. I am not happy about this. We have not traveled anywhere without the kids in 8 years, and we deserve some grown-up time for our anniversary. But alas, it was not meant to be. To add salt to the wounds, I am going to have to change ships and itineraries. I loved our itinerary--we were going to see Mayan ruins, ziplining, snorkeling and have a beach day. But that cruise just totally blows our budget when there are five of us instead of two. I've found an alternative, but it sails to the Bahamas and Grand Turk--so no ruins and no ziplines. Only beach days (oh the torture!)
We are also going to pull the kids out of school. I have never allowed the kids to miss for vacation or non-illness/dying grandma reasons. I'm generally opposed to taking the kids out of school for vacations--particularly non-educational ones. But I can't reschedule. I have trials set every.single.month from February through next November. Of course, probably none of them will actually go, but I still have to plan around them. So it looks like I will be breaking my own rule. I'm sure their teachers will be thrilled.
But I guess I can't complain too much. A vacation with my kids is better than no vacation, and any cruise is better than no cruise.
In other news, I've hired a new nanny, contingent upon a successful test-drive on Saturday morning. I always leave the girls with a new nanny for a couple of hours while DH and I hang out somewhere nearby before I make a final offer. She is a senior in high school, but she seems very mature, and will hopefully be just what we need for this 3-hour per day school-year position. Whew--one big to-do off my list.
But there is no way in heck I could leave my girls with a teenager for a week while we cruise the Caribbean--so it looks like we will be making some changes to our cruising plan. The only way we can go is if we take the kids with us. I am not happy about this. We have not traveled anywhere without the kids in 8 years, and we deserve some grown-up time for our anniversary. But alas, it was not meant to be. To add salt to the wounds, I am going to have to change ships and itineraries. I loved our itinerary--we were going to see Mayan ruins, ziplining, snorkeling and have a beach day. But that cruise just totally blows our budget when there are five of us instead of two. I've found an alternative, but it sails to the Bahamas and Grand Turk--so no ruins and no ziplines. Only beach days (oh the torture!)
We are also going to pull the kids out of school. I have never allowed the kids to miss for vacation or non-illness/dying grandma reasons. I'm generally opposed to taking the kids out of school for vacations--particularly non-educational ones. But I can't reschedule. I have trials set every.single.month from February through next November. Of course, probably none of them will actually go, but I still have to plan around them. So it looks like I will be breaking my own rule. I'm sure their teachers will be thrilled.
But I guess I can't complain too much. A vacation with my kids is better than no vacation, and any cruise is better than no cruise.
8/21/10
Today was better
It turns out that my mom took a fall and, miraculously, did not break anything, but suffered a severe cut. It took something like 36 stitches plus some surgical glue and steri-strips to patch her up. And apparently her face took the brunt of the fall and she looks like she's been in a bar fight.
Her husband left town to visit his elderly mother the day before the fall , so my brother and his girls are stuck babysitting her all weekend. It's their last weekend before school starts, and he is a teacher and has last minute prep work. I'm pretty sure he would strangle me if he could for living 400 miles away and leaving him to deal with the chaos. I told him to tell her to pay my 25-year-old out-of work cousin to be her caretaker for a few days. My mother can afford it and my cousin could use the cash. (Maybe this sounds harsh, but she has never really stepped up to help me or my brother when times were tough. He was a teenage parent who has struggled a lot, with virtually no help from either of our parents.)
Also got the garage door fixed. I went with the guy with a slightly higher quote just because he was friendly and really good about explaining the issues when I spoke with him. The guy with the lower quote was kind of an ass on the phone. Just goes to show, customer service counts.
Wound up our evening watching Close Encounters of the Third Kind for family movie night. DH was disappointed to learn that the girls and I just didn't appreciate it the way he does.
Her husband left town to visit his elderly mother the day before the fall , so my brother and his girls are stuck babysitting her all weekend. It's their last weekend before school starts, and he is a teacher and has last minute prep work. I'm pretty sure he would strangle me if he could for living 400 miles away and leaving him to deal with the chaos. I told him to tell her to pay my 25-year-old out-of work cousin to be her caretaker for a few days. My mother can afford it and my cousin could use the cash. (Maybe this sounds harsh, but she has never really stepped up to help me or my brother when times were tough. He was a teenage parent who has struggled a lot, with virtually no help from either of our parents.)
Also got the garage door fixed. I went with the guy with a slightly higher quote just because he was friendly and really good about explaining the issues when I spoke with him. The guy with the lower quote was kind of an ass on the phone. Just goes to show, customer service counts.
Wound up our evening watching Close Encounters of the Third Kind for family movie night. DH was disappointed to learn that the girls and I just didn't appreciate it the way he does.
8/20/10
Chaos
Can it stop please.
First my nanny put in notice, leaving me once again scrambling for child care. Then I realized that this totally screws up our cruise plans for November. My final payment is due in two weeks, and then it becomes nonrefundable. We are screwed if we don't have reliable child care in place. Or we can cancel now. Or we can just take the kids. But this is our anniversary trip, and we really wanted grown-up time. And the trip we are booked on would require pulling the kids out of school, which I am really opposed to--especially since this is a totally non-educational trip.
Then nanny's car got vandalized--eggs were broken all over the interior of her car--so she had to deal with getting it cleaned while she was watching the girls yesterday. And when she pulled her car into the driveway, our garage door became demon-possessed and wouldn't stop opening and closing. She called me frantically at work, and I told her to throw the breaker, because nothing would make it stop. Turns out the spring broke.
Then we had PS's schedule pick up night, where we attempted to find all of her classes in her new middle school. The place was a zoo, and I pray she doesn't get lost on the first day.
Then as soon as I walked into work this morning, the receptionist informed me that our firm had been burgled overnight, and I needed to check my office to see if anything was missing. the thieves had started loading up our computers and had them stacked up by the back door. Security caught them in the act, and the bad guys got away, but it doesn't look like they took anything. Our office is on the 9th floor! Who the hell breaks into a 9th floor office? Or a law firm? It's not like we keep any cash on the premises.
Once I finally got settled in, I started making calls to have the garage door fixed. Apparently replacing the spring is not a do-it-yourself project.
Left the office early for the twins' meet the teacher night. Another zoo. And SS' teacher had a baby today, so SS will have a sub for the first 6 weeks of school. Also, all of TT's and SS's friends are in TT's class--poor SS has no one (fortunately, she can make friends anywhere, so I think she'll be fine.)
I was supposed to meet with new prospective nanny immediately after meet the teacher night, but she flaked. Arghhh.
Got a call from my brother at 10:30 tonight saying that my mom fell and there was blood everywhere and she was in shock and an ambulance was taking her to the hospital. Brother was on the way to meet her at the hospital and didn't have a lot of information, so I am staying up until he calls back. My mom is in terrible health and has had many joint replacements, so it wouldn't surprise me to hear she broke something, but the blood everywhere is concerning. And I her bones are so brittle and she's already had so many replacements that my understanding is that they can't do any more replacements.
I'm afraid to see what tomorrow holds.
First my nanny put in notice, leaving me once again scrambling for child care. Then I realized that this totally screws up our cruise plans for November. My final payment is due in two weeks, and then it becomes nonrefundable. We are screwed if we don't have reliable child care in place. Or we can cancel now. Or we can just take the kids. But this is our anniversary trip, and we really wanted grown-up time. And the trip we are booked on would require pulling the kids out of school, which I am really opposed to--especially since this is a totally non-educational trip.
Then nanny's car got vandalized--eggs were broken all over the interior of her car--so she had to deal with getting it cleaned while she was watching the girls yesterday. And when she pulled her car into the driveway, our garage door became demon-possessed and wouldn't stop opening and closing. She called me frantically at work, and I told her to throw the breaker, because nothing would make it stop. Turns out the spring broke.
Then we had PS's schedule pick up night, where we attempted to find all of her classes in her new middle school. The place was a zoo, and I pray she doesn't get lost on the first day.
Then as soon as I walked into work this morning, the receptionist informed me that our firm had been burgled overnight, and I needed to check my office to see if anything was missing. the thieves had started loading up our computers and had them stacked up by the back door. Security caught them in the act, and the bad guys got away, but it doesn't look like they took anything. Our office is on the 9th floor! Who the hell breaks into a 9th floor office? Or a law firm? It's not like we keep any cash on the premises.
Once I finally got settled in, I started making calls to have the garage door fixed. Apparently replacing the spring is not a do-it-yourself project.
Left the office early for the twins' meet the teacher night. Another zoo. And SS' teacher had a baby today, so SS will have a sub for the first 6 weeks of school. Also, all of TT's and SS's friends are in TT's class--poor SS has no one (fortunately, she can make friends anywhere, so I think she'll be fine.)
I was supposed to meet with new prospective nanny immediately after meet the teacher night, but she flaked. Arghhh.
Got a call from my brother at 10:30 tonight saying that my mom fell and there was blood everywhere and she was in shock and an ambulance was taking her to the hospital. Brother was on the way to meet her at the hospital and didn't have a lot of information, so I am staying up until he calls back. My mom is in terrible health and has had many joint replacements, so it wouldn't surprise me to hear she broke something, but the blood everywhere is concerning. And I her bones are so brittle and she's already had so many replacements that my understanding is that they can't do any more replacements.
I'm afraid to see what tomorrow holds.
8/16/10
Sigh...
The new nanny put in notice today. She has decided to go back to school. In Virginia.
We've only had her for 5 weeks. I knew she was over-qualified when I hired her, but I hoped that she would last longer than this. We talked about her having one year of college left, but I guess I wrongly assumed that she would attend school here. You could definitely work a college schedule around my girls' after-school schedule.
Ugh. I lost an entire weekend to interviewing nannies the last time around, and am not looking forward to a repeat. Plus my girls have already become attached to new nanny, and a little stability would be nice.
One of the biggest challenges of being a working mom is finding quality child care. My mom left us with whatever in-home care provider she could find at a bargain--and we had some of the worst babysitters on the planet over the years. There was the one who made a boy drink his own pee because he wet the bed; the one who burned her grass and stomped it out with her house slippers; the one who allowed her 5th grader to smoke; the 16 year old runaway who lived on our couch until she disappeared one day, taking all of the cash in my piggy bank; the crazy holy roller who told us graphic crucifixion stories and took us to church were people were speaking in tongues and turning cartwheels in the aisles, and who yelled at us for wearing shorts because God didn't approve (then God shouldn't have given us triple-digit summers) and who took us to the free summer lunch program in the parks and then took all of the leftovers to feed us the rest of the week, and who crammed about 5 kids into the back of a Volkswagen Rabbit, and who had a pet guinea pig who was allowed to run all over the house, leaving a trial of guinea pig pellets. Makes the one who just plopped us in front of the soaps all summer not seem so bad.
So, my very bad childhood experience makes child care a very high priority for me. And so far we've been lucky in that every nanny seems to have genuinely cared about my children. But I don't like the turnover of the last couple of months, and it's hard on the kids.
The tiny ray of hope is that the #2 choice from my interviews is still interested in the position. Hopefully it will work out, but when I interviewed her she had another job that I was concerned would conflict, so we'll see.
We've only had her for 5 weeks. I knew she was over-qualified when I hired her, but I hoped that she would last longer than this. We talked about her having one year of college left, but I guess I wrongly assumed that she would attend school here. You could definitely work a college schedule around my girls' after-school schedule.
Ugh. I lost an entire weekend to interviewing nannies the last time around, and am not looking forward to a repeat. Plus my girls have already become attached to new nanny, and a little stability would be nice.
One of the biggest challenges of being a working mom is finding quality child care. My mom left us with whatever in-home care provider she could find at a bargain--and we had some of the worst babysitters on the planet over the years. There was the one who made a boy drink his own pee because he wet the bed; the one who burned her grass and stomped it out with her house slippers; the one who allowed her 5th grader to smoke; the 16 year old runaway who lived on our couch until she disappeared one day, taking all of the cash in my piggy bank; the crazy holy roller who told us graphic crucifixion stories and took us to church were people were speaking in tongues and turning cartwheels in the aisles, and who yelled at us for wearing shorts because God didn't approve (then God shouldn't have given us triple-digit summers) and who took us to the free summer lunch program in the parks and then took all of the leftovers to feed us the rest of the week, and who crammed about 5 kids into the back of a Volkswagen Rabbit, and who had a pet guinea pig who was allowed to run all over the house, leaving a trial of guinea pig pellets. Makes the one who just plopped us in front of the soaps all summer not seem so bad.
So, my very bad childhood experience makes child care a very high priority for me. And so far we've been lucky in that every nanny seems to have genuinely cared about my children. But I don't like the turnover of the last couple of months, and it's hard on the kids.
The tiny ray of hope is that the #2 choice from my interviews is still interested in the position. Hopefully it will work out, but when I interviewed her she had another job that I was concerned would conflict, so we'll see.
8/15/10
Must See Adorableness
I found Mila's Daydreams today and was amazed by the creativity and sheer cuteness. One of those things I wish I had thought of when my girls were little. But then, when my little ones were sleeping, I wouldn't have dared move them for fear that they would wake up!See, I'm not totally old and cranky. I still enjoy pictures of adorable babies--I just don't want to hear them cry!
I'm old and cranky
I have reached the point in my life where screaming children grate on my last nerve. I was in the grocery store today and a little boy (probably about 18 months) kept screeching. His parents have apparently learned to block out this ear-piercing scream, as they seemed completely unaffected and never broke from their conversation
And it now seems that I encounter a similar situation every single time I leave the house--which leaves me eternally grateful that my children are now big kids. I'm sure they had their moments when they were toddlers, but I don't recall allowing them to scream without recourse. And I can count on one hand the number of temper-tantrums they collectively threw.
I miss the cute snuggliness of their toddler years, but I really enjoy the freedom that we have now to get-up-and go, and to go all day if we want (and not have to pack up half the house!). I really enjoyed my shopping trips with the girls these past two days--something that would have been torture just a couple of years ago.
Of course, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. On Friday my nanny called me at work, distraught because the kids had let a stray dog into the house who was taking it upon itself to run around marking his territory--and they told her that I had said it was ok. Of course, I had told them no such thing (they texted me that they had found a stray, and I told them to put it in the backyard with water and that I would deal with it when I got home.) They ended up in a world of trouble--but at least they are old enough to reason with and appreciate why their actions were such a bad idea, once they were explained.
It seems like everyone I know if pregnant right now. A year ago, I might have had some major baby cravings. But in the last 6 months, they have completely disappeared. I got lots of sunggle time with my newborn nephew when MIL was in hospice. I enjoyed the sweet smell of a new baby--but I was awfully darn happy to give him back to his mama when he was inconsolable. And I'm awfully darn happy with my big girls.
And it now seems that I encounter a similar situation every single time I leave the house--which leaves me eternally grateful that my children are now big kids. I'm sure they had their moments when they were toddlers, but I don't recall allowing them to scream without recourse. And I can count on one hand the number of temper-tantrums they collectively threw.
I miss the cute snuggliness of their toddler years, but I really enjoy the freedom that we have now to get-up-and go, and to go all day if we want (and not have to pack up half the house!). I really enjoyed my shopping trips with the girls these past two days--something that would have been torture just a couple of years ago.
Of course, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. On Friday my nanny called me at work, distraught because the kids had let a stray dog into the house who was taking it upon itself to run around marking his territory--and they told her that I had said it was ok. Of course, I had told them no such thing (they texted me that they had found a stray, and I told them to put it in the backyard with water and that I would deal with it when I got home.) They ended up in a world of trouble--but at least they are old enough to reason with and appreciate why their actions were such a bad idea, once they were explained.
It seems like everyone I know if pregnant right now. A year ago, I might have had some major baby cravings. But in the last 6 months, they have completely disappeared. I got lots of sunggle time with my newborn nephew when MIL was in hospice. I enjoyed the sweet smell of a new baby--but I was awfully darn happy to give him back to his mama when he was inconsolable. And I'm awfully darn happy with my big girls.
8/14/10
And so it begins
School, that is. I'm not really ready for school to start again. I enjoy to more relaxed pace of summer, where I get to sleep in an extra half hour because I'm not nagging three kids to move along in the morning, and where we don't lose most of our evening to math homework or PTA programs or back-to-back soccer practices.
Next week is our last week of summer vacation, but the hecticness has already started to creep back in. PS, who is starting her first year of middle school, had cheer camp all last week, and last night we had to rush home for her show-offs. And next week we have back to school nights on Thursday and Friday. We now have the added challenge of kids in two different schools. Meet the teacher nights will also be on consecutive nights the first week of September.
I'm worried about how my quiet, bookish PS will fare in middle school. PS is petite and also the youngest in her class--which makes her the smallest in her class. She looked like a little kid imposing among the much taller cheerleaders last night. Her BFF is about a foot taller than she, but they've always had a huge spread.
Nevertheless, she is apparently growing, because a survey of her closet this morning revealed that all of the shorts I bought at the beginning of summer are now too small. So today we went shopping. She is unfortunately caught between the kids' and juniors' clothing departments. I remember that place well when I was going into junior high--too small for the junior's department and not wanting to wear kid clothes. Fortunately, we now live in a much larger city than I did growing up, and she has more options. She can wear XS t-shirts from Delias, Abercrombie and Aeropostale. And she can wear a size 00 skinny jean at Delias. But the 00 at American Eagle and Aeropostale swallowed her. So we ended up in the kids' department at Old Navy for some basic denim capris and mini-skirts--nothing too obviously from the kids' department. We got some super-cute outfits and a pair of sparkly purple Converse.
Tomorrow I'll take the twins shoe shopping. Their closet is well stocked, thanks to PS's hand-me-downs, but their feet have now overtaken hers (should 4th graders be wearing a Women's size 6???) and the flip-flops they have been living in all summer aren't allowed at school.
Next week is our last week of summer vacation, but the hecticness has already started to creep back in. PS, who is starting her first year of middle school, had cheer camp all last week, and last night we had to rush home for her show-offs. And next week we have back to school nights on Thursday and Friday. We now have the added challenge of kids in two different schools. Meet the teacher nights will also be on consecutive nights the first week of September.
I'm worried about how my quiet, bookish PS will fare in middle school. PS is petite and also the youngest in her class--which makes her the smallest in her class. She looked like a little kid imposing among the much taller cheerleaders last night. Her BFF is about a foot taller than she, but they've always had a huge spread.
Nevertheless, she is apparently growing, because a survey of her closet this morning revealed that all of the shorts I bought at the beginning of summer are now too small. So today we went shopping. She is unfortunately caught between the kids' and juniors' clothing departments. I remember that place well when I was going into junior high--too small for the junior's department and not wanting to wear kid clothes. Fortunately, we now live in a much larger city than I did growing up, and she has more options. She can wear XS t-shirts from Delias, Abercrombie and Aeropostale. And she can wear a size 00 skinny jean at Delias. But the 00 at American Eagle and Aeropostale swallowed her. So we ended up in the kids' department at Old Navy for some basic denim capris and mini-skirts--nothing too obviously from the kids' department. We got some super-cute outfits and a pair of sparkly purple Converse.
Tomorrow I'll take the twins shoe shopping. Their closet is well stocked, thanks to PS's hand-me-downs, but their feet have now overtaken hers (should 4th graders be wearing a Women's size 6???) and the flip-flops they have been living in all summer aren't allowed at school.
8/10/10
Law Dork
I wish that I could blog more about the specifics of my job. My big case just got bigger and may turn out to be one of the most fun (in the lawyer sense) cases I have worked on thus far in my career.
There is a lot of money at stake. There are many wealthy and influential parties. We are treading completely new ground because there is absolutely no related case law in my state (I'm now looking at other states, but this is a pretty state-specific issue.) And to top it all off, opposing counsel is the biggest prick I have ever encountered. He has threatened to personally sue all of the other attorneys involved and had already brought about 10 preposterous claims against my client and the other parties involved. He reminds me of the two-year old who throws a temper-tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. Which just makes me want to grind him into dust with a stiletto heel.
I'm psyched. It's going to be a hell of a battle, but if the darn thing actually makes it to trial we will be creating a new area of law.
And in almost as exciting news, I officially got rid of the boots today. I actually ditched them last Thursday, but today was my follow-up appointment. My ankles are still broken and I still can't do any serious walking or running or anything else that causes an impact, but at least I can wear real shoes again. Doc also said that I can't do The Great Urban Race--which is a major bummer--but he thought I'd be ok climbing Mayan ruins and ziplining on our cruise in November.
There is a lot of money at stake. There are many wealthy and influential parties. We are treading completely new ground because there is absolutely no related case law in my state (I'm now looking at other states, but this is a pretty state-specific issue.) And to top it all off, opposing counsel is the biggest prick I have ever encountered. He has threatened to personally sue all of the other attorneys involved and had already brought about 10 preposterous claims against my client and the other parties involved. He reminds me of the two-year old who throws a temper-tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. Which just makes me want to grind him into dust with a stiletto heel.
I'm psyched. It's going to be a hell of a battle, but if the darn thing actually makes it to trial we will be creating a new area of law.
And in almost as exciting news, I officially got rid of the boots today. I actually ditched them last Thursday, but today was my follow-up appointment. My ankles are still broken and I still can't do any serious walking or running or anything else that causes an impact, but at least I can wear real shoes again. Doc also said that I can't do The Great Urban Race--which is a major bummer--but he thought I'd be ok climbing Mayan ruins and ziplining on our cruise in November.
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