There has been a lot of chatter this week in the blawgosphere about what makes one rich. Of course, there's no easy answer. It all depends on experience, perspective, where you've been, where you want to go and where you live.
The short answer to "am I rich?" is no. But that's based on my current perspective. When I was a kid, I would have thought that someone in my position was "rich." Of course, when I was a kid, anyone who lived in a brick house was rich. I lived in an 1000 sq. ft. asbestos-sided house with a swamp cooler (no central air).
In 1993--the year I graduated from high school--my mom earned $17,000 per year. According to this calculator, that's about $26,000 in today's dollars.
We never had any government assistance, but there were plenty of times we were "charging" our school lunches until the next payday, or digging in the couch cushions to find enough change for milk (or mixing up powdered milk-ewwwww!), or eating pancakes for dinner (with powdered sugar because we didn't have syrup) because that's all we had in the house.
So compared to when I was a kid, yeah, we're pretty darn rich. And there are plenty of people in this country who still live the lifestyle I had as a kid, and I guarantee that they would view us as rich.
And compared to them, we are rich. Our annual income is many multiples of what my mom was making back then. We've never had a utility turned off or not had enough food in the house. My kids don't even know what powdered milk is. They've never been told that they can't participate in a school activity because we can't afford it.
And more than that, they have all the right "stuff." The clothes the other kids are wearing, the gadgets the other kids have. I'll admit that PS got a cell phone when she turned 10 not because she needed one, but because everyone else had one. I remember being the only kid who didn't have the new "in" thing,or the right shoes, or the Guess jeans. I don't want my kids to be those kids--but I also want them to appreciate what they have. (PS bought her iPod touch with her own money--I won't spend $200 on a gadget for a kid. And she won't be getting a iPhone until she has a job and can pay for the data plan, even though many of her classmates have them.)
But in the great grand scheme, no we aren't rich. I don't work in Big Law and don't earn the corresponding salary--but I'm also well above government and public service salaries. DH also earns a professional salary. But of course, we have the massive debt associated with putting ourselves through school. Our student loan payments exceed our mortgage. Right now we are comfortable--without the student loan debt we would be very comfortable.
Our mortgage payment is small fraction of our monthly income. Our house is a 2800 sq. ft. two-story brick home. I know that is massive in some parts of the country, but it is pretty average here. We live in an average middle-class neighborhood.
Our splurges are two-new cars. Mine was a necessity because the tranny went out on my 9-year old Suburban. I drive a Nissan Armada with plenty of bells and whistles and I LOVE it. I have no desire to ever have a luxury vehicle. DH drives a Honda CRV which neither of us love, but it gets great gas mileage and he has a long commute.
Our other splurge is a nanny/housekeeper. The nanny because I want my kids to be in their own home after school, and so that they have someone to drive them to ther after-school activities. (I'm not sure this is really a splurge--with 3 kids, the nanny/housekeeper costs less than day care.) The housekeeper because I hate cleaning house, and I'd rather spend my weekends playing with my kids than scrubbing toilets.
We do not own a flat screen TV, a second house, or a boat. (All of which we would like one day.)
I never had vacations as a kid, so we try to take some kind of vacation every year, but usually it involves renting a cabin somewhere. Neither DH nor I have ever left the country. Our Disney trip last year was a big splurge. Our upcoming cruise is a much-smaller splurge.
We've started saving for retirement and our kids' college, but we have a long way to go. I don't want my kids to start out their lives in debt like we have.
So I guess, to consider myself rich at this point, we would have to pay off our student loan debt. Have the kids' college funds funded. Be able to take a big vacation every year without considering it a splurge. Get the flat-screen TV, the second home and the boat.
And being able to walk into Barnes and Noble and buy anything that I want without even thinking about it. That, to me, is the greatest luxury.
9/26/10
9/25/10
Internal alarm
Every morning for the last week or so I have awakened at exactly 5:33. Weird. I have absolutely no reason to be up at 5:33. Even on school days, I don't need to get up until 6:15. And today is Saturday.
This morning, like most mornings, I woke up thinking about work. How sad does that make my life? I've always tended to work out problems in my sleep, and sometimes I wake up with the perfect solution to my problem. Sometimes I wake up thinking that I have screwed something up (most of the time I have not).
This morning I work up thinking about how I am going to defend a particular client. I don't like my planned defense, but so far I haven't come up with anything better. If I'm going to be dreaming about work anyway, this would be a good time to come up with the perfect solution.
This morning, like most mornings, I woke up thinking about work. How sad does that make my life? I've always tended to work out problems in my sleep, and sometimes I wake up with the perfect solution to my problem. Sometimes I wake up thinking that I have screwed something up (most of the time I have not).
This morning I work up thinking about how I am going to defend a particular client. I don't like my planned defense, but so far I haven't come up with anything better. If I'm going to be dreaming about work anyway, this would be a good time to come up with the perfect solution.
9/23/10
Can you revoke a birthday party invitation?
PS's birthday party is Saturday. We sent out invitations a week and a half ago and asked for a response by yesterday. Of the 9 girls invited, 5 have said yes, 2 have said no, and 2 don't know yet.
WTF? What do you mean you don't know yet? Either you're coming or you're not. This party is in TWO days. And I asked for a response by yesterday.
It's a scavenger-hunt-type race around town. We will load up the girls into our two cars and run them all over town while they accomplish the tasks required by their clues. I need to know how many kids are going to be there because if it is more than will fit in our cars, I will need to have the nanny stay home with the twins. But if only the 5 who have confirmed show up, then we can include the twins and divide into two teams of 4, which works out perfectly. Argh--I hate making the nanny hold open her Saturday because people can't make up their minds. Not to mention I'm trying to plan for enough food and party favors.
WTF? What do you mean you don't know yet? Either you're coming or you're not. This party is in TWO days. And I asked for a response by yesterday.
It's a scavenger-hunt-type race around town. We will load up the girls into our two cars and run them all over town while they accomplish the tasks required by their clues. I need to know how many kids are going to be there because if it is more than will fit in our cars, I will need to have the nanny stay home with the twins. But if only the 5 who have confirmed show up, then we can include the twins and divide into two teams of 4, which works out perfectly. Argh--I hate making the nanny hold open her Saturday because people can't make up their minds. Not to mention I'm trying to plan for enough food and party favors.
9/20/10
Long day
Rushed this morning because PS was pokey and then had about 5 minutes to blow dry her hair before her television debut on her school's morning news program.
I got to work to find two inches of coffee left in the pot, so I started new pot of coffee. Forgot to put pot in place. A stream of coffee started pouring directly onto the burner. I shoved the coffee pot under the stream of pouring coffee. Couldn't set it down in the coffee puddle--afraid the glass would break. Couldn't find an emergency shut-off and the more I wiggled the more coffee I spilled. Ended up holding the pot until the coffee finished. Cleaned up giant mess. Miraculously no one saw this.
Busy day culminating in a client meeting at 4:00. I left the office as soon as the meeting over and headed straight to PS's first cheerleading event. Finally made it home at 10:00 at which point I found out that she has to wear her uniform again tomorrow, so I start a load of laundry because she is a sweaty mess.
I intended to do a quick research project that a partner asked for this morning, but the choose-you-own-adventure that is UCC article 9 evades me and I give up and settle in with a glass of wine to watch How I Met Your Mother and Weeds on the DVR.
Tired. Should go to bed. Have a doc appointment at 8:00 in the morning to confirm my feet are no longer broken (they do not feel or act broken anymore).
I got to work to find two inches of coffee left in the pot, so I started new pot of coffee. Forgot to put pot in place. A stream of coffee started pouring directly onto the burner. I shoved the coffee pot under the stream of pouring coffee. Couldn't set it down in the coffee puddle--afraid the glass would break. Couldn't find an emergency shut-off and the more I wiggled the more coffee I spilled. Ended up holding the pot until the coffee finished. Cleaned up giant mess. Miraculously no one saw this.
Busy day culminating in a client meeting at 4:00. I left the office as soon as the meeting over and headed straight to PS's first cheerleading event. Finally made it home at 10:00 at which point I found out that she has to wear her uniform again tomorrow, so I start a load of laundry because she is a sweaty mess.
I intended to do a quick research project that a partner asked for this morning, but the choose-you-own-adventure that is UCC article 9 evades me and I give up and settle in with a glass of wine to watch How I Met Your Mother and Weeds on the DVR.
Tired. Should go to bed. Have a doc appointment at 8:00 in the morning to confirm my feet are no longer broken (they do not feel or act broken anymore).
9/18/10
Updates
So I was checking out my Blogroll and realized that the two lawyer blogs I had linked were both out of commission now, and all of the law students linked are now lawyers. Obviously time for an update.
So I added the blogs in my reader and then stole Butterflyfish's MILP roll.
If you are not on the list and would like to be, please leave a comment or email me at legallycertifiable at gmail dot com.
There is one blogger I intentionally left off because she changed blogs and I don't know if she wants to be linked or is trying to maintain a low profile. It that's you, let me know if you want to be linked.
So I added the blogs in my reader and then stole Butterflyfish's MILP roll.
If you are not on the list and would like to be, please leave a comment or email me at legallycertifiable at gmail dot com.
There is one blogger I intentionally left off because she changed blogs and I don't know if she wants to be linked or is trying to maintain a low profile. It that's you, let me know if you want to be linked.
Girls Weekend
DH left last night to visit his dad for the weekend. He's going to help with cleaning some of MIL's thing out, since we think that might be contributing to FIL's depression. It seems like FIL is getting better, but there were a couple of really rocky weeks and I'm sure he will be up and down for a while.
So, its just me and the girls. We went to dinner last night and then spent an hour wondering around Target. They wanted to check out the Halloween stuff, and it gave me an excuse to go looking for a wrap, per Dinei's suggestion. They usually hate shopping (except SS), but we all had fun.
We found a collection of colorful, skull partyware that isn't too Halloween-ey and perfect for PS's party next week. (She has a thing for skulls.) We even got a string of super-cute colorful skeleton lights that she can hang in her room after the party. (She doesn't know it yet, but her b-day gift is re-doing her room. I've ordered this bedding and this chair.)
BTW, I need to come up with prizes for the winners of PS's scavenger hunt party. Not too pricey, since there could be as many as five girls on a team. And I need a consolation prize(or as PS said, the loser prize)--because I don't want the non-winning team to be too bummed out. Or maybe just something for all the girls, with something small to set off the winners. Hmmm. Any suggestions? I've been wracking my brain for a week and haven't come up with anything.
Not sure what we're doing with the rest of our weekend. I woke up feeling kind of crappy, but hopefully it will pass and we can do something fun.
So, its just me and the girls. We went to dinner last night and then spent an hour wondering around Target. They wanted to check out the Halloween stuff, and it gave me an excuse to go looking for a wrap, per Dinei's suggestion. They usually hate shopping (except SS), but we all had fun.
We found a collection of colorful, skull partyware that isn't too Halloween-ey and perfect for PS's party next week. (She has a thing for skulls.) We even got a string of super-cute colorful skeleton lights that she can hang in her room after the party. (She doesn't know it yet, but her b-day gift is re-doing her room. I've ordered this bedding and this chair.)
BTW, I need to come up with prizes for the winners of PS's scavenger hunt party. Not too pricey, since there could be as many as five girls on a team. And I need a consolation prize(or as PS said, the loser prize)--because I don't want the non-winning team to be too bummed out. Or maybe just something for all the girls, with something small to set off the winners. Hmmm. Any suggestions? I've been wracking my brain for a week and haven't come up with anything.
Not sure what we're doing with the rest of our weekend. I woke up feeling kind of crappy, but hopefully it will pass and we can do something fun.
9/16/10
Fashion Advice Please
We've been invited to a Russian Jewish wedding in a couple of weeks. I've never been to a Jewish wedding. Or a Russian wedding. Or a catered wedding. (Every single wedding I have ever attended has had a simple desert reception.)
The wedding is on a Saturday evening in an upscale hotel. We've already made reservations to spend the night, just in case we try to keep up with the Russians during the reception. Apparently the thing about Russians and vodka isn't just a stereotype.
So I've ordered this dress. Is this appropriate for this type of wedding? Am I committing any major faux pas? I know that at a Catholic church wedding, for instance, this dress would not be appropriate because of the bare shoulders--but that would only apply in a church, I think.
Anything else we need to know so that we don't embarrass ourselves? We do not have a large Jewish community here, and we just aren't familiar with Jewish customs.
I'm so excited about the event. I don't know the couple well--the groom is one of DH's work buddies--but it will be a fun date night and a new cultural experience. And I do like vodka.
The wedding is on a Saturday evening in an upscale hotel. We've already made reservations to spend the night, just in case we try to keep up with the Russians during the reception. Apparently the thing about Russians and vodka isn't just a stereotype.
So I've ordered this dress. Is this appropriate for this type of wedding? Am I committing any major faux pas? I know that at a Catholic church wedding, for instance, this dress would not be appropriate because of the bare shoulders--but that would only apply in a church, I think.
Anything else we need to know so that we don't embarrass ourselves? We do not have a large Jewish community here, and we just aren't familiar with Jewish customs.
I'm so excited about the event. I don't know the couple well--the groom is one of DH's work buddies--but it will be a fun date night and a new cultural experience. And I do like vodka.
9/15/10
PS
Despite my fears, PS seems to be doing really well with middle school. There are so many opportunities, and the school seems so much better organized than our elementary school. She tried out this week for an anchor position on her school's daily news program and made the cut despite tons of applicants. Woot! She is so quiet and timid that I was afraid she would get nervous and blow the audition, but I guess she brought her game. Hopefully this will help her come out of her shell a little bit. And today she got her school-issued laptop, which she is totally psyched about.
Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. She informed me that 12 is a big year and that we should do something big. We are doing a scavenger hunt/amazing race type party followed by a sleepover. We're dividing the girls into teams and they have to solve riddles to go find things or take pictures doing silly things around town, like the chicken dance in front of the local fried chicken place. I've had so much fun making the clues for our race--I think this is going to be a great party.
She's also created a birthday wish list that includes a few video games, an itunes gift card and a laptop (new, not hand-me-down, with internet). Yeah, no chance in heck she's getting the laptop. We have 5 household computers of various ages, and she has her school computer. I don't want her to have internet on a laptop that she can take in her room. (I also won't let the kids have televisions in their rooms.) But I think she knew it was a long shot, and doesn't seem too bothered by my assurance that she won't be getting a computer.
She also has her first dance coming up. I think I'm more excited than she is. But it is the same night as a wedding that we are attending. So we won't be here for her first dance! I am so bummed about this. But maybe we can go get our nails done or something that morning and then she can get ready at a friends house.
So much going on, but it's all good. I'm so happy for her, because I was worried about how she would make the adjustment, but no problems so far!
Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. She informed me that 12 is a big year and that we should do something big. We are doing a scavenger hunt/amazing race type party followed by a sleepover. We're dividing the girls into teams and they have to solve riddles to go find things or take pictures doing silly things around town, like the chicken dance in front of the local fried chicken place. I've had so much fun making the clues for our race--I think this is going to be a great party.
She's also created a birthday wish list that includes a few video games, an itunes gift card and a laptop (new, not hand-me-down, with internet). Yeah, no chance in heck she's getting the laptop. We have 5 household computers of various ages, and she has her school computer. I don't want her to have internet on a laptop that she can take in her room. (I also won't let the kids have televisions in their rooms.) But I think she knew it was a long shot, and doesn't seem too bothered by my assurance that she won't be getting a computer.
She also has her first dance coming up. I think I'm more excited than she is. But it is the same night as a wedding that we are attending. So we won't be here for her first dance! I am so bummed about this. But maybe we can go get our nails done or something that morning and then she can get ready at a friends house.
So much going on, but it's all good. I'm so happy for her, because I was worried about how she would make the adjustment, but no problems so far!
9/7/10
Really???
When I was on my way to the office (don't worry, I was at a stoplight) an email popped up informing me that my secretary wouldn't be in until the afternoon because her dog was sick. Seriously, you say? Your secretary called in because her dog was sick? Oh yes, and it is not the first time. Two weeks ago she called in and missed the entire day because her dog had diarrhea.
O.M.G. Some seriously bad words came out of my mouth when I read that email. You see, my secretary has not been present for an entire 40 hour week in at least the last 6 weeks. Twice she has overslept. About 5 times she has called in because she just didn't sleep the night before and was going to try to get some rest. Another time it was allergies. Oh, and she was throwing up one Monday because she "got too much sun" the weekend before (when she just happened to be out of town attending her high school reunion). Yeah, right.
So I was pissed this morning. Because my secretary had gone around me and asked the office manager if she could leave early last Friday. So all the crap I gave her on Friday got shoved in her inbox, and then she wasn't there to deal with everything I needed sent out today, so I had to go plead with the other secretaries (who are sick of picking up her slack) to take care of my projects.
She finally did show up this afternoon and was in a royally pissy mood. A paralegal was helping me index an upcoming document production, and I instructed to paralegal to use my secretary so that she could finish up as quickly as possible. Secretary informed Paralegal that she "might not have time to get to it." Bullshit. I had already handed all of her projects off to other legal assistants and I checked in with the associate with whom I share Secretary to confirm that she wasn't overloaded. So I specifically instructed her that this project was top priority, and once I intervened, she managed to actually help out but was none too happy about it.
I am just about ready to pull my hair out at this point. Until recently she has done a good job and had good work product. But lately her work product is slipping, she complains constantly, she tries to wiggle out of work and the unreliability is insane. I have never in my adult life overslept for a job. Or called in because I was just too tired. And I sure as hell didn't call in because one of my animals was sick.
I've talked to her and so has our office admin. At this point I think she is trying to get fired so that she can collect unemployment. But my firm hates trying to hire new people, and therefore nobody ever gets fired. We have another secretary who is rude and hateful and a miserable person to be around (even to Big Boss) and she is still around. (She has been on vacation for the last week and it has been so quiet and peaceful!)
The funny thing is that my firm has the nicest lawyers of any firm I have ever been in. There are no major assholes. I guess you have to have some crazy somewhere in an office--but in a law firm you usually expect it to be the lawyers, not the staff.
O.M.G. Some seriously bad words came out of my mouth when I read that email. You see, my secretary has not been present for an entire 40 hour week in at least the last 6 weeks. Twice she has overslept. About 5 times she has called in because she just didn't sleep the night before and was going to try to get some rest. Another time it was allergies. Oh, and she was throwing up one Monday because she "got too much sun" the weekend before (when she just happened to be out of town attending her high school reunion). Yeah, right.
So I was pissed this morning. Because my secretary had gone around me and asked the office manager if she could leave early last Friday. So all the crap I gave her on Friday got shoved in her inbox, and then she wasn't there to deal with everything I needed sent out today, so I had to go plead with the other secretaries (who are sick of picking up her slack) to take care of my projects.
She finally did show up this afternoon and was in a royally pissy mood. A paralegal was helping me index an upcoming document production, and I instructed to paralegal to use my secretary so that she could finish up as quickly as possible. Secretary informed Paralegal that she "might not have time to get to it." Bullshit. I had already handed all of her projects off to other legal assistants and I checked in with the associate with whom I share Secretary to confirm that she wasn't overloaded. So I specifically instructed her that this project was top priority, and once I intervened, she managed to actually help out but was none too happy about it.
I am just about ready to pull my hair out at this point. Until recently she has done a good job and had good work product. But lately her work product is slipping, she complains constantly, she tries to wiggle out of work and the unreliability is insane. I have never in my adult life overslept for a job. Or called in because I was just too tired. And I sure as hell didn't call in because one of my animals was sick.
I've talked to her and so has our office admin. At this point I think she is trying to get fired so that she can collect unemployment. But my firm hates trying to hire new people, and therefore nobody ever gets fired. We have another secretary who is rude and hateful and a miserable person to be around (even to Big Boss) and she is still around. (She has been on vacation for the last week and it has been so quiet and peaceful!)
The funny thing is that my firm has the nicest lawyers of any firm I have ever been in. There are no major assholes. I guess you have to have some crazy somewhere in an office--but in a law firm you usually expect it to be the lawyers, not the staff.
9/6/10
Oooohhhhhhh
Yesterday we did an 8-mile float trip. The canoe outfitter said it would take 3 to 3.5 hours. It took 6. The river was completely flat, if we weren't rowing we weren't moving. And then the wind started blowing upstream. So if we weren't rowing, we were moving backward. So we were pretty much rowing the entire time. DH in one canoe, me in the other. We did not pack enough water and all thought we were going to die by the time it was over. (I don't know how we managed that, we usually pack way more than we need.) And SS and I passed right by two enormous floating turtle corpses that have left us both scarred for life--and me wondering what the heck is going on that is killing the turtles. We also rescued a two-foot catfish that had been caught in a line hanging from a tree with no fisherman in sight. We fish, but leaving an unattended line with a fish struggling for hours just seems inhumane to me. So we cut it free.
We finished out our day by catching a double feature of the newest Shrek and Toy Story movies at the drive-in theater. The weather was perfect and it was a nice way to finish out our day, but boy were we pooped. The movies didn't end until after midnight and we still had a 1.5 hour drive home. It was two before we finally made it to bed. We are never, ever out that late. I'm usually dragging well before midnight.
Today I don't think there is a part of my body that doesn't hurt. And I have random sunburned areas, where I missed putting sunscreen. Like my cleavage and the top of one foot and my ears. Nothing says fun like sunburned cleavage.
We finished out our day by catching a double feature of the newest Shrek and Toy Story movies at the drive-in theater. The weather was perfect and it was a nice way to finish out our day, but boy were we pooped. The movies didn't end until after midnight and we still had a 1.5 hour drive home. It was two before we finally made it to bed. We are never, ever out that late. I'm usually dragging well before midnight.
Today I don't think there is a part of my body that doesn't hurt. And I have random sunburned areas, where I missed putting sunscreen. Like my cleavage and the top of one foot and my ears. Nothing says fun like sunburned cleavage.
9/1/10
Homework
Two of PS's teachers have taken it upon themselves to assign parents "homework"--an essay about their students. This bugs the shit out of me. I have a job. I work about 10 hours a day. I spend at least an hour and a half every day commuting. When I come home I want to spend time with my kids. And when they go to bed I want to spend an hour watching tv or mindlessly surfing the internet before I collapse into bed. That is, when I get home early enough to do these things. I am excessively busy this week and have had lots of late nights and working from home. I do not want to write an essay. I spend all freaking day writing. And I have 20 years of schooling--I don't need any more fucking homework.
Hahaha--now I just got the irony of my writing on my blog while I bitch about having to write. But it's not the same. My blog is stream-of-consciousness writing. Half the time it probably makes no sense to anyone but me. I don't proofread (I'm sure you've caught that if you have ever read my blog before--DH is forever pointing out my typos). I don't take any particular effort to structure comprehensible sentences and paragraphs.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I excessively irritated about this?
For the record, I did do the fucking assignment. But I am biting my tongue to keep from adding a snarky footnote about what a PITA it is. Maybe I should call my brother. He's a middle-school teacher and would have no trouble telling me that I am just being bitchy.
Hahaha--now I just got the irony of my writing on my blog while I bitch about having to write. But it's not the same. My blog is stream-of-consciousness writing. Half the time it probably makes no sense to anyone but me. I don't proofread (I'm sure you've caught that if you have ever read my blog before--DH is forever pointing out my typos). I don't take any particular effort to structure comprehensible sentences and paragraphs.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I excessively irritated about this?
For the record, I did do the fucking assignment. But I am biting my tongue to keep from adding a snarky footnote about what a PITA it is. Maybe I should call my brother. He's a middle-school teacher and would have no trouble telling me that I am just being bitchy.
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