Fantastic Weekend

Several weeks ago I booked a cabin for Memorial Day weekend. There was a little blind faith involved, as the internet description was vague and there were only a few photographs. The pictures of the deck sold me, and I was not disappointed Our cabin had a multi-level deck that led from the top floor of the cabin all the way down (about 100 feet) to a dock right on the river. The pic here is DH on the last landing before the dock, taken from one of the mid-level decks.

We had such a perfect, peaceful weekend. We took three canoe-trips, which were the highlights for me. Well, except for the second one when DH and the twins tipped their canoe in chest-deep water (on DH) and he had to rescue both kids (SS was trapped under the canoe!) and flip it back over. PS and I were a little bit behind them, and did not witness DH's superdad performance. We came around a bend to find DH standing in the middle of the river and the twins shivering in a water filled canoe and crying because they had lost their sparkly flip-flops. But we got everybody sorted out, finished our trip, and convinced the girls to go canoeing again this morning (in calmer waters).

We had hoped to spend yesterday hiking, but DH twisted his knee during the rescue effort, and we didn't want to push it. Instead they fished all day while I sat on the deck reading trashy magazines with a glass of wine. They caught about a bazillion (17) fish. Which went something like this, "Daddy, Daddy, I think I've got one! Look, look, I really got one! Eww, eww, eww, don't let it touch me!" As she holds the pole as far away as possible so the flopping fish doesn't touch her. And then PS would scream "it's dying, it's dying, put it back! You're going to kill it! You have to put it back in the water!"

See, the problem is that nobody, except DH, will eat fish. And I haven't a clue how to cook a fish. So it was a catch and release effort.

It was a great trip, and we're thinking of going back for July 4th. It's was short enough drive for a quick weekend trip, and secluded enough to avoid overwhelming crowds on a holiday weekend.

We rocked the science fair!

PS took first place in the 6th grade. All 6th graders were required to participate, so she beat out over 100 other kids! And I was very impressed by the quality of their projects. Apparently what set PS apart was her presentation--she was actually able to explain all of the science behind her rocket experiment. DH spent a lot of time teaching her how rockets work and they did a lot of research. And PS just happened to study outliers in her math class this week, which helped explain some of her data.

TT's and SS's classes broke into groups and did their projects in class. Their groups took 2nd and 3rd in the 3rd grade (but there were significantly fewer competitors).

PS's principal and science teacher both raved about her. And then her science teacher started convincing me that PS REALLY needs to take the aerospace class in middle school. Apparently our school district just got a 7-figure grant and will be participating in the National Space Grant Student Satellite Program. Over the next five years, the aerospace classes will conduct increasingly sophisticated experiments culminating in the launch of an real space satellite in 2015! How cool is that?? Previously unbeknownst to me one of the private companies working on space tourism is based right in our little suburb, and will be helping out with this little project.

Science Teacher went on and on about what a great student PS is and how she will be perfect for this program and all of the opportunities that it would provide to her. Apparently aerospace companies and big-name universities heavily recruit students who participate in these programs. (And I'm sure being a girl is an added advantage for PS, since the engineering field in general is desperate for more women.)

I'm so excited--I want to go back to school so that I can do this program! Yea for science nerds!

My zoo

In addition to the kids, we also have a dog, Bob, two cats, Voldemort and Harley, a guinea pig, Stephanie, and whatever other creatures my children have trapped in a jar in any given week (lizards, spiders, crickets, grasshoppers, snakes).

Bob is a black lab and a big dumb lug. Whenever we are home he follows us around, and lays next to us. He refuses to spend more than 5 minutes outdoors when his family is inside. And he thinks he is the Incredible Hulk when caged. He has literally ripped apart a chain link kennel outdoors and a metal crate that we use indoors. Apparently he has separation anxiety.

Bob's favorite pastime is chasing the cats. Harley has made friends with Bob. In fact, Harley will follow Bob around, stand under his front paws underneath Bob, and nuzzle his chin and groom his ears.

Voldy, however, has already been a little spazzy. He doesn't like people (except for PS). And he doesn't like Bob. Bob still likes to chase Voldy, and Voldy just freezes and makes no attempt to escape Bob.

Now Voldy is going bald. Because whenever Bob slobbers on him, he starts grooming himself --and never stops. I took Voldy to the vet today. Vet says Voldy is stressed. The probable trigger is Bob (duh). So we can either start giving Voldy Xanax, or we can try to reduce his stressors.

Great. All of my animals have psychological problems. My dog has separation anxiety and my cat has anxiety caused by the dog. Better the animals than the kids, I guess. Now I just have to figure out how to train my hunting dog not to hunt the cats, which has got to be easier than trying to shove a pill down a cat every day.

I'm a Rocket (Wo)Man

For PS's science fair project she decided to launch model rockets with various nose cone shapes to learn which would reach the highest altitude. She and DH assembled her rocket a couple of weeks ago, and we had to wait for the special nose cones that we ordered online. We finally had everything ready to go last weekend, but it was insanely windy. And it has been windy or rainy every single day for the last week.

Finally today, the rain stopped and the wind died down, so we headed to the school park to launch our rockets. Unfortunately, thanks to all of the rain we were sinking in the mud and getting filthy. But we got 10 good launches and had great fun.

It was truly a family experiment. PS was timing the rocket has it ascended. DH and I used homemade altimeters to measure the height, and the twins took turns launching the rockets and playing photographer.

Making Mommy Proud

This morning PS was peeved because TT was wearing her shorts. TT came into my room to inform me that PS had told her that she had to take off the shorts or pay her $1. I told TT that she didn't have time to change, and since I bought all of PS's clothes, she did not have the right to charge rent for them.

A few minutes later both girls came running downstairs with a piece of paper--a contract. It read "I [TT] promise not to wear [PS's] clothes without permission or unless mom or dad says I have to." With signature lines and everything.

TT wanted me to review it before she signed. I informed them that it was not an enforceable contract unless supported by consideration. TT was the only one giving up anything--the right to steal her sister's clothes.

The girls disappeared again, and when they came back downstairs the next time TT was carrying a stuffed dog and PS had her signed contract.

PS says she has no interest in becoming a lawyer, but I still think there's hope.

Dauphin Island

I was saddened to see on the news this morning that tar balls from the oil spill were appearing on the shores of Dauphin Island. Dauphin Island is a tiny island that separates Mobile Bay from the Gulf of Mexico. There is one bridge leading to the island from Mobile, and a ferry on the other end of the island that took you to the other side of Mobile Bay (toward Gulf Shores).

We rented a beach house there a few years ago, after hearing about the beautiful beaches in Alabama. Gulf Shores and Orange Beach are the better known beach towns, and allegedly have prettier beaches than Dauphin Island. But we visited Gulf Shores during our visit and I didn't notice that Gulf Shores was especially prettier than Dauphin Island. Gulf Shores was, however, far more crowded and commercialized. Huge condos lines the beaches and tacky souvenir shops abounded.

Dauphin Island was primarily beach houses (I think there were one or two condos, but they weren't super high-rises). Ours was about 100 yards from the beach. And there was nobody around (it was the off-season, but Gulf Shores was much busier). There weren't many tacky souvenir shops, and really, not even many restaurants. It was just a place to fish and play in the sand and grill out from the deck of your beach house.

There was also a really cool fort and a wild bird sanctuary with walking trails.

My kids rank our Dauphin Island vacation right up there with our trip to Disney, and have been begging to go back. I hope the oil spill doesn't cause too much harm. The island was still recovering from Katrina when we were there, and I think it has since been damaged by a subsequent hurricane. It's a lovely little island that is a refreshing change from the typical commercialized beach town.

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope all of the MILP's are having a happy and relaxing weekend.

Since I was supposed to be in trial for the last week, my workload was especially light last week. I took Friday off to attend PS' field day. By mid-afternoon, PS was no longer competing and I could feel my skin starting to burn (indeed, I got my first sunburn of the season despite slathering myself in SPF 85. The great irony of my life will be dying of skin cancer, having never had a tan.), so I took off and got a pedicure before picking up the girls from school. It was a nice jump-start to the weekend.

We had soccer yesterday morning, and then went to Lowe's where I picked out two trellises with hanging plants to frame the walkway up to my house. Spent the rest of the afternoon doing nothing!* That doesn't happen very often.

Unfortunately, last night we decided to watch Time Traveler's Wife. I had read the bock many years ago, but I really don't remember books or movies, and I didn't recall what a downer this movie was. Of course, this Mother's Day is an especially tough one for DH, and I think that movie just increased his funk.

I wish that we were close enough to put flowers on MIL's grave. It seems like we should do something to remember her today--but I'm not sure what. I sent flowers to DH's sisters earlier in the week, and asked the florist to use the same lilies that we had picked out for MIL's casket spray (is that weird?), just to let them know that we were thinking about them and their mom.

Nothing much going on today. We'll probably do a little grocery shopping, work on PS' science fair project and then throw something out on the grill for dinner tonight. Perfect Sunday afternoon.

*By doing nothing, I mean that I spent most of my afternoon researching cruise options for our 15th anniversary this year. I really, really want to go to Bora Bora, but I don't feel comfortable being that far from the kids (the only person I would have left them with for a trip like that is MIL). So now we're thinking a Caribbean cruise--where we could be back home in a matter of hours in an emergency. And I am astonished at how inexpensive cruising can be! Why have we never cruised before? I think I've narrowed down which cruise I want to take--not it's just figuring out which cabin. Apparently location is important. But is it worth it to spring for a balcony? And yes, I am a total nerd and research everything to death.

Setting Limits

I figured out pretty quickly as a law student trying to find a job that being a mom was not working to my benefit. So I removed anything that hinted at my child-having status from my resume (basically my volunteer work) and avoided the topic during interviews.

My first boss had absolutely no idea that I had kids when he hired me. And I am 100% certain that he would not have hired me if he had know I was a mom. (This is not just my speculation--others 'in the know' have said the same.) Of course, he eventually figured it out--after I had been working there for several months.

And in my first job I was careful not to mention my kids whenever I had to leave because something was going on with them. I always non-specifically said that I had an appointment. This actually worked for me. It gave me the opportunity to prove that I was competent and professional and could get the job done without being marred by the "mom prejudice."

But this isn't something that I want for future lawyer moms, and the only way things are going to change is if those of us who are more established in our field stand up and prove what we're perfectly capable of managing both our careers and our families.

My new bosses knew that I had kids from my first interview--but by then I had a good track record to back myself up. Still, I was conscious not to have too many kid appointments and to prove myself as a go-to girl in my early days with my current firm. And now, I think I've done that.

So when I have to take a kid to the doctor, I said so. And last week, when my boss (a childless junior partner) said that he wanted us in the office at 9 on Saturday morning to prep for our trial on Tuesday, I said no. My kids have soccer games on Saturday mornings. I've been home before bedtime maybe twice in the last two weeks and we would be out of town for one to two weeks for trial. I needed that time with my girls. I was prefectly fine with devoting the vast majority of my weekend to trial prep, but I was not missing my kids' games on Saturday morning.

I think he was a little surprised that I was drawing this line in the sand just 3 days before trial, but he didn't object. I love my job, but it does take a lot of time away from my family, and I have to set limits to ensure that it doesn't take over my entire life. I have yet to miss a concert or school play or soccer game, and I don't intend to without a very good reason.

In the end, it was moot. My case settled today (while I was at the soccer games), and the 90 bazillion hours that I have billed in the last two weeks were for naught. I'm disappointed not to be going to trial, but it is nice to have my weekend free. And of course, I know the stats as well as any litigator and knew the chances of settling increased with every day we got closer to trial. I don't know what I'll do with all my free time at work next week.