So it's been nearly two months since MIL passed away--after trying to set a record for the longest Hospice stay ever. Some of the after-effects are expected and some, not so much.
I keep coming across things that I think would be perfect for MIL for Mother's Day--and then remember that I won't be buying her anything this year.
And we weren't sure how the kids would be affected. A few days ago SS overheard DH and I talking, and then burst in to tears because she missed Grandma.
And TT is just not herself. She's been a punk to her sisters lately, but also spacey and unfocused (this would be the kids who let the sink overflow). We've been waking her up a half hour before her sisters after she made them late for school three days in a row, and she is still the last one ready every day. And we had a teacher conference last week, where we learned that her math grades are inexplicably dropping and she has been very clingy with her teacher. We've since been trying to ensure that she get more individual attention (no easy task when your kids outnumber you).
And then there is FIL. He started dating less than a month after MIL was buried. He is now officially "seeing someone." It is certainly an understatement to say that we were all stunned by this development. FIL was absolutely devoted to MIL throughout her entire illness, and in her last days he refused to leave her side. I don't like it, but I'm just the in-law. DH doesn't like it, but doesn't feel like its his place to say anything, that his dad has been through enough, and that he is an adult who can make his own decisions. SIL is devastated and this is having a huge affect on her and her relationship with her dad. She told him that she was irritated, but FIL just kind of brushed her off. Meanwhile, news of FILs new relationship is spreading throughout my smallish hometown, and SIL has been asked about it. Ugh! I don't even want to think about the gossip.
We had booked a cabin for Memorial Day shortly after MIL passed away, and intended to invite FIL, but didn't want to be too pushy. When DH finally invited him last week, he already had plans to visit someone else's cabin. And of course we're all wondering whether his new friend will be accompanying him.
I get that he was in the role of a caregiver for the last year and was acting more like a parent than a spouse. But two months--really? Is he incapable of spending any time alone? Of processing the loss of his wife of 35 years? And what woman in her right mind would want to get in the middle of that situation.