I just turned around and walked back out. I was ashamed of my daughter and of myself for letting her get this way. I'm afraid that I have overcompensated for my have-not background by letting my kids have too much.
I thought that I had been doing a pretty good job with my kids. I don't buy them things except at Christmas and their birthdays (Well, except books. I'm a sucker for books.) I have friends who buy their kids crap every single time they enter a store. That's not me. And when my kids want something they have to earn the money for it (or wait until their grandparents send cash.)
The other thing is that my twins are not like this at all. They are both very sweet and giving. I have read that twins generally have an innate sense of fairness since they have to share virtually everything from the time they are conceived. You can definitely see that in my girls.
So how have they managed to turn out so well while oldest DD is becoming the portrait of narcissism? Is it just the age difference? Please don't tell me all kids are like this as they get older. I think its because I have always leaned toward giving oldest DD more. Because the twins don't notice or care, and its easier to justify certain things merely because she is the oldest.
In any event, it has to stop. I refuse to raise a brat. I think I need to find some volunteer work for oldest DD so that she can see that not everyone leads the cushy life that she does. But I don't imagine too many organizations are looking for 8 y.o. volunteers. And I will no longer err on the side of giving her more, because the twins will start to notice eventually.
P.S. I know my posts of late make my oldest seem like a complete and total brat. That really isn't the case. She is so smart, makes perfect grades, and her teachers tell me she is an angel at school. Apparently the narcissism just comes out at home. And I think there is a jealousy thing going on because her sisters are twins and have built-in playmates and she doesn't have that with anybody.
Kindergarten graduation is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. What have you accomplished by completing kindergarten? You spend your days coloring pictures and you still get to take a nap. I thought graduation was supposed to represent the culmination of years of work. In Kindergarten, you are just beginning. You don't even know what work is yet.
I'm all for having a party to celebrate the end of this first step in many years of education. But to stick a funny hat on a kid's head and call it a graduation is just ridiculous.
Seriously, is it any wonder I get more done at school, where it is too much trouble to go down 3 flights of stairs to get a snack, and there are no comfy couches or Bobs to distract me?
"I am in receipt of your correspondence inquiring as to an associate position with our firm. Unfortunately, we are unable to consider offering you a position at this time."
Ok, first what the heck does "we are unable to consider..." mean? You are always able to consider something. In fact you probably did consider whether you had a position and whether I fit your firm--and then you decided to send me this crappy letter.
Second, if this is the best you can do at drafting sentences, you really need to reconsider hiring me. This letter reads as if written by someone whose first language is not English. Then again, I just read an article about how much money outsourcing saves, so perhaps it was drafted in India.
This post sounds angry, but really that's not it. I'm just shocked that a mid-size firm in a fairly large city is sending out such poorly written correspondence.
There will be no slacking for me as I wrap up my last semester of law school. As contrasted against my last semester of undergrad when I took Golf, Film Studies & Human Sexuality. Yeah--it was as tough as it sounds.
First, the Alec Baldwin thing. He is being reamed in the media right now, but I can understand what might lead him to break and lash out. Honestly, kids at that age are often rude little pigs. They are selfish, egocentric and perfectly willing to play a pair of battling parents against one another. I know that I have told my 8 y.o. to quit acting like a selfish little brat. Is it that far off from "rude little pig?" Alec Baldwin certainly didn't use good judgment by raging at his kid. But it seems to me that the worst judgment was exercised whomever leaked this bit to the press.
Second, the Carhart decision. [Warning, this discussion gets somewhat graphic.] Interestingly, we were assigned Stenberg v. Carhart on the same day that SCOTUS handed down Gonzales v. Carhart (which essentially overruled the first). I have to say that I agree with the Court. And I am pro-choice. The procedure banned by the Court is performed affects a minute number of abortions. One statistic I read said about 2300 of the 1.3 million abortions performed every year are done by this procedure. There are alternatives to this procedure. And the procedure is brutal. What I don't understand is how the banned procedure where the fetus's brains are sucked out it more brutal than the still-legal alternative where the fetus is ripped apart by its limbs.
I guess I am one of those qualified pro-choicers. I do not like late-term abortions. For an elective abortion there is adequate time (at least two-months) to abort before partial-birth procedures are required. To me, abortion rights do not have to be an all-or-nothing thing. There must be a balance between a woman's right to control her body and her destiny and maintaining the dignity of all humans. To ban a gruesome procedure which affects a very small minority is not a step-back for abortion rights, it is a step forward in human dignity.
I initially booked the hotel adjacent to the bar site. That hotel has kindly jacked its rates up about 25% during the bar. It will cost more than $700 to stay there. WTF? $700 to stay in a mediocre hotel that I will get absolutely no enjoyment out of.
After getting some tips on local bar hotels from classmates and last year's grads, I have now booked a second room. This one is a couple of blocks away and will save me about $200 (although its rates are also significantly higher its regular rates). And it is supposedly better than the first one as far as noise.
But there is really no getting away from the noise. Because the bar exam is being held in a very touristy area. In the middle of summer, when tourists are out in force. So no matter where I go, there will be kids running amuck and happy people with tans enjoying their vacations.
DD came home sick yesterday and is now home with me.
I got called on in Con Law last night. This is a prof entrenched in 1L Socratic method. I think he suspected that I had tuned out and was trying to catch me. I was in fact-tuned out, and had only read half the case. Fortunately, it was the half I was called upon to discuss. After 3 years of law school I have mastered paying just enough attention to track the class discussion while surfing the internet. Which reminds me of a funny incident.
A couple of weeks ago a girl got called on in Pre-trial. She had to ask what case we were on. Prof. said, "what are you doing up there, playing cards?" She said, "something like that." Prof said, "Good thing I'm not easily offended." She did a great job on the case. Prof said, "Guess I was just moving too slow for you, huh?"
Also, I think the uncertainty about my future is getting to me. I am a planner. I need to know where I am going and how to get there. Right now I have no idea where my life is headed once I am done with the bar. Will I have a job I love or one that I hate (or any job at all)? Will I be in the same house--or even the same city? How much money will I be making? Where will my kids be in school? There are big changes ahead, and I don't like not being able to plan for them.
But I am working on readjusting my attitude. Whining isn't going to get me anywhere. And I really need to move out of this funk and gear up for the push through finals. My goals right now are to get through finals and then the bar. Hopefully the rest will fall into place.
The dress I ordered for graduation came in and it is gorgeous. But it doesn't fit--not even close. It's exactly the same size as the suit I ordered along with it and the suit fits perfectly. It is out of stock online, and according to the website, the nearest store that has it is 300 miles away.
I got my first rejection letter. Big City DA's office let me know that they are "impressed with my qualifications" but they don't have any openings right now. They will file my application in case something comes up. I won't be holding my breath.
Still haven't heard anything from Not My Big City DA's office. Or anyone else. I have a ton of resumes out and I am getting absolutely no feedback. I have good grades from a top tier university. I have a ton of experience. Everybody that I have worked for has loved me and offered to give me excellent references without me even having to ask. So why aren't I employable?
So I have spent the day wallowing in self-pity and doing absolutely nothing productive. Oh yeah, except that I applied for one more job. That I found on Craigslist. Yes, folks, that is what it's come to.
Five minutes after I got back I got an email from my supervisor at the small DA’s office where I worked last summer. Not My Big City DA’s office is checking my references. They also revealed to him that they have a lot of positions open and that they are trying to move quickly.
So, this is good news, sort of. I am becoming more and more interested in the possibility of working for NMBC DA’s office, but the thought of moving and all the change that would be required is overwhelming. I guess I’ll just keep waiting and see what happens, but it kinda seems like they’re serious if they are checking references.
A quick call to the City (which runs the water utility) informed me that my last payment (e-pay)was returned NSF. I knew that couldn't be right, but the CS rep on the phone had no further information and I had to wait for a supervisor to call me back. Meanwhile, I checked my bank account, and in fact, there were more than adequate funds to cover last month's bill at all times, but there was no record that the payment had ever been processed.
The supervisor told me that the problem was not NSF, but because the bank account had been entered incorrectly and it was merely billed as NSF. I said, ok, I'll pay the past due balance, please remove the fee. And they said NO. WTF??? The fee is $15--almost 40% of my bill. By contrast, if I had merely been late, the fee would have been 10%--$3.50. The City's excuse is that it is charged the fee by its contractor who processes payments, and if I don't pay it , then the expense if borne by all the citizens of [Sucky City].
I have gone up the line and spoken with 3 people. The last person is the director of finance and informed me that her supervisor is the City Manager. I haven't contacted the City Manager yet--for now I am continuing to argue with the Finance Director. Basically, I'm fighting a losing battle. The city is the only gig in town if I want running water. On the other hand, this was a non-disclosed fee, and I don't think that they can legally and legitimately charge random fees w/o disclosure.
Frankly, it would be easier to pay the stinkin' $15. This is truly a matter of principle. I refuse to pay a 40% penalty for a clerical error that the city has not even shown to be mine. I thought about letting it drop--this is a small town and I really don't need to be making enemies as I am kick-starting my career. On the other hand, I have been training for the last three years to stand up for other people's rights. How can I ever be an effective lawyer, when I let the city stomp all over my rights?